A1, to A2: "Who are those people, how did they get on our tv, and, why the hell are they making up such loonie stuff about us?"
----- END OF STORY -----
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A1, to A2: "Who are those people, how did they get on our tv, and, why the hell are they making up such loonie stuff about us?"
----- END OF STORY -----
Axl looked dreamily out the hotel window as Billy gobbled his nob; he saw a commotion poolside.
A pale man was prone on a chaise lounge, trying to enjoy the early sun, but he was being repeatedly shit on by what seemed an unending line of seagulls, who swooped in like Dauntless dive bombers in the battle of Midway, uneeringly unloading upon him.
After spewing, Axl went to the pool in order to investigate.
"Oh, they do it all the time," said the stranger; "I'm a Canadian numerologist."
"A what?"
"A numerologist. I detect patterns and meaning in my life by studying the order of numbers."
"Oh," said Axl, who then returned to his room.
"Hey Billy, come here and shit in this ice bucket:" Billy did, then Axl filled it to the rim.
"Watch this..."
Axl stood on the balcony and emptied the bucket: it landed on the pale Canadian.
"Thanks, I needed that" confirmed the Canuck, festooned with shit.
They went back to the Hotel Room. Axl felt tired after that heavy food in his stomach. He fell asleep.
When he woke up, Billy was talking on his cellphone to Andy. Axl pretended to still be asleep.
"Andy, I know you're sorry about attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000, but you hurt him REALLY bad. He loves you like a Brother and he would never have even thought of selling you out for $5,000. You shouldn't have attempted to sell Axl out for $5,000. You messed up really bad there. You really shocked and disgusted me, Jimmy, James, and Mike when you suggested we sell out Axl for $5,000. I gave you that $5,000 in order to protect Axl from you attempting to sell him out for $5,000." There was a pause.
Billy said, "I know Axl wasn't supposed to find out about you attempting to sell him out, but he did and it's out in the open. There was another pause.
Billy responded," Promise Axl you will NEVER attempt to sell him out again, tell him you're sorry,beg him for forgiveness, and he just might forgive you."
Axl smiled a little to himself. Andy must have been begging Billy to have Axl forgive him or something.
Andy and Billy chatted for a little while longer about Axl and Billy said,"Axl's sleeping now, but I'll ask him for you when he wakes up. It's really good that you feel horrible about attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000. At least you have a remorseful conscience." They soon hung up. Axl was still smiling to himself.
Axl pretended to be asleep for about 30 more minutes and then "Woke up."
Billy looked at Axl intently. Billy asked,"How do you feel about forgiving Andy?"
Axl said,"I'm hurt, but if he truly is sorry, I'll forgive him. He just has to ask me to forgive him and tell me he's sorry, doesn't matter which order he does it in."
Billy said," Andy and I spoke while you were asleep and he told me he wants you to forgive him. He told me he is sorry for attempting to sell you out for the $5,000. He's really remorseful over attempting to sell you out for $5,000. He strongly implied he would never do that again. "
Axl smiled and said,"Tell him to come over and we can talk this out. I'm willing to forgive him, but he has to tell me sorry and ask me to forgive him." Billy smiled and called Andy and told him that Axl wanted to speak with him. Andy was grateful and said he'd be right there.
Billy told him the good news and Axl was happy.
A little while later, Andy knocked on Axl and Billy's hotel Room door. He was let in.
Andy said to Axl,"Axl, I'm really sorry about attempting to sell you out for $5,000. I feel awful about it.
Axl responded, "You really hurt me when you did that. I love you like a Brother." Andy caught on to the "love," and not loved, which was a sign that Axl was forgiving him.
Axl said,"I'm willing to forgive you if you ask me to forgive you. "
Andy said, "I want you to forgive me. Will you forgive me?"
Axl said," I'm willing to forgive you, but you have to do one more important thing for me.
"What's that?" Andy asked.
"Promise me you will NEVER attempt to sell me out again and I'll forgive you.
Andy smiled and said,"I promise I'll NEVER attempt to sell you out again."
Axl smiled and said, "I love the sound of that verbally, but care to put it in writing?" Andy agreed and Axl drew up a Contract that stated that Andy promised to NEVER attempt to sell out Axl or ANYONE for money ever again. Andy signed it and Billy was asked if he'd like to sign the Contract as a Witness. Billy happily agreed and signed as a Witness and Andy signed and Axl signed.
Axl made another Contract that stated that he forgave Andy and all three signed again.
Axl also verbally told Andy he forgave him.
Andy felt a huge burden had been lifted off his shoulders and Axl and Billy were happy too. Andy, Axl, and Billy ended up chilling happily in the Hotel Room until night and Axl and Billy amicably said their goodbyes to Andy and vice versa and then Andy left to go back home. Axl and Billy chatted for a long time, and also made out and then fell asleep again.
And here is MrV's 4,000th post, as predicted.
Reduces toQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
[ QUOTE=accountinquestion;152048]
Sure.Quote:
Originally Posted by kewlJ
Still crazy after all these years.
https://vegascasinotalk.com/forum/sh...l=1#post152053
--->Quote:
= Accountinquestion one five two zero four eight Originally Posted by kewlJ Can we have an update on Rob Singer? Sure. Still crazy after all these years./quote]
International Court of Justice advisory opinion on the Legality of the Threat or Use of Nuclear Weapons
https://anagram-solver.net/Accountin...e?partial=true
Court: International Court of Justice
Full case name: Legality of the Threat or Use of Nuclear Weapons
Decided: 8 July 1996 = 2^3 July [(1906) + (10*6 + √9*10)] ---> 2 July, 1961_1691, the middle of year, a great birthday. Ha.
Reminds me of MrV's outspoken posts over there on the various questionable applications of the nuclear option, at the WoV forum. Sort of recently relevant here as well, with Crimm mocking KJ's "family shared" user-account.
Further reduces to
with 6's about yo's, for the one-in-six dice problem crowd, or, for three 6's for 18 yo's in a row either way as reflected. (Two 6's for the two q's, and, one 6 for the p in the middle.)Quote:
= Accountin6uestion one five two zero four eight Origina11y Posted by kewlJ: "Can we have an u6date on Rob Singer?" Sure. Sti11 crazy after all these years./6uote]
--->
What We Believe But Cannot Prove: Today's Leading Thinkers on Science in the Age of Certainty.
https://anagram-solver.net/accountin...e?partial=true
Quote:
A non-fiction book edited by literary agent John Brockman with an introduction by novelist Ian McEwan and published by Harper Perennial. The book consists of various responses to a question posed by the Edge Foundation, with answers as short as one sentence or as long as a few pages. Among the 107 published contributors are such notable scientists and philosophers as Richard Dawkins, Daniel C. Dennett, Jared Diamond, Rebecca Goldstein, Steven Pinker, Sir Martin Rees and Craig Venter; as well upcoming convicted sex offenders like Jeffrey Epstein. Some contributions weren't published, including those by Benoit Mandelbrot and computer scientist John McCarthy. However, theirs are among 120 responses available online.
benedictionQuote:
Benoît is a French male given name. It is less frequently spelled Benoist. The name comes from the Latin word benedictus, which means "the one who says the good", equivalent in meaning to Bénédicte or the English name Benedict. A female derivative of the name is Benoîte.
noun
especially : the short blessing with which public worship is concluded
It was, psychically speaking, very appropriate that MrV forgot how to use the quote function, at this very instant. Otherwise there wouldn't have been any such interpretation. And, that I hung around long enough, between deaths, to see the rest of the Andrew / Mendelson message-from-the-afterlife bit through.
Tell me that this wasn't the first time that the name, Mandlebrot, come up in casual conversation, let alone of a psychic nature. What were the odds? Who, in the first place, would call their family the Mandlebrot's? How many yo's worth?
Merry Christmas, and, farewell, Alan. You will live, again, another day, but never so quite the same, or, with the usual crowd. Next time, perhaps, you will be the atheist, but, MrV, the believer.
P.S. 152,048 = 2^4 * 13 * 17 * 43 = 221 * 4^2 * 43 ---> 41_42_43, the dimensions about dimension-42, the center of everything.
"Hey Billy," barked Axl, "I'm gonna sell out Andy, but who would be interested?"
"Well, he IS a degenerate gambler, Axl: do you know any hustlers who might want to play him?"
Axl thought, and realized that yeah, he knew just the guy.
"There's this one masterful bullshit artist who could flense and debone him like a whaler does a humpback; he posts on a gambling board I sometimes frequent. Let's see...yeah, here we go: Robert Argentino is his real name but he goes by Rob Singer. This guy would sell out his own mother for a couple bucks."
Axl fired up his 'puter and PM'ed Singer; a response arrived shortly.
"Yeah, he's very interested since he's been losing his ass recently at the casinos. Says he has a good three card monte move he'd like to try."
Billy groaned.
"Gamblers. You can always tell them, but you can't tell them much."
Billy and Axl got up and got ready for the day and ordered Room Service. They were eating when Billy saw the song Axl wrote about Andy's attempted betrayal.
"Wow, this song is really raw and passionate. " Billy said, impressed.
Axl blushed. "I was REALLY hurt by Andy when I wrote that song and that song was/is my self therapy for my hurt feelings."
Billy said, "This song could be a big hit if you would give it to Cake Cream."
Axl responded, "Once again, this song was written out of hurt I felt at Andy. We've made up, and I no longer feel that crushing hurt."
Axl ripped up the paper containing the angry song, much to Billy's dismay.
That's a shame that you ripped up the song. That really is a good song. "Billy said, looking sad. Billy continued, "You really are a good Songwriter."
Axl said," If I'm such a good Songwriter, WHY did you guys perform your Demo songs at The Rolling Stones Show and not songs like All The Right Words that I wrote for you?"
Billy said,"You're still hurt about the Demo thing?"
Axl said,"Yes, I am. It would be like if you wrote songs for Guns N'Roses and Guns N'Roses instead sang songs from my RapidFire Band.
Billy said,"Oooh. Okay, I get why you're upset. We didn't think it would be such a big deal. We just wanted to perform our Demo songs. "
Axl said,"You guys could have practiced the Demo Songs if that's what you were planning to perform, instead of practicing some songs I wrote for you guys. You guys could have told me you wanted to perform your Demo songs. I wouldn't have been blindsided as I would have had a heads up."
Billy said,"Next time, we can discuss the songs we want to perform with you before going up on stage."
Axl smiled. "I'd like that." Billy smiled and they finished eating and drinking and decided to go to see a movie together. They put on motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests. They had fun at the movie and held hands throughout the movie. After the movie, they were leaving when a Fan asked them why they had just been to the movies by themselves and Axl and Billy once again lied and claimed that James, Andy, Mike and Jimmy had been watching another movie but their movie ended earlier and they went back home.
The Fan smirked skeptically, but let it rest and asked if they could take a picture with Axl and Billy. Axl and Billy obliged their Fan and took a picture with their Fan, all smiling. The Fan was happy and chatted with them a little and then they all said goodbye. Axl and Billy went back to the Marriott Hotel. Another Paparazzi Person saw them walking in the Lobby together and snapped a single picture of them and ran off. Billy and Axl shook their heads at this but were a bit grateful the Paparazzi Person only took a single picture of them and ran off, not multiple pictures of them. They went to the hotel room. They made out passionately again and then both soon fell asleep.
There is nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are controlling transmission. If we wish to make it louder, we will bring up the volume.
It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension-42 of imagination. It is an area which we call Tasha's imagination.
The spine tingling adventure continues ... as the SEQUEL/PREQUEL.
Coming to a theatre of the mind near you before Christmas.
Claven Records called Axl's Cellphone and told Axl Fans wanted to see them perform tomorrow. Axl wanted to spend tomorrow making out with Billy, not doing a Cake Cream Show. But, he had to do his Manager Responsibilities. He told Claven Records he wasn't with Cake Cream now and Claven Records asked why and Axl admitted he was in a Hotel Room with Billy. Claven Records knew about Billy and Axl's Relationship, but gently pointed out again that the Fans wanted to see Cake Cream perform tomorrow.
Axl said he'd call Cake Cream and tell them that the Fans wanted to see them perform. Claven Records were happy and Axl and Claven Records chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.
Axl told Billy that Claven Records told him that Fans wanted to see them perform tomorrow.
Billy questioned them performing tomorrow when Axl felt resentful of Cake Cream for the Demo Stunt and Andy trying to sell out Axl for $5,000.
Axl responded, "I have already forgiven Andy for attempting to sell me out for $5,000 and only we 6 know about me being resentful of the Demo Stunt. The Fans don't know that. We're working for the Fans, remember that."
Billy was in awe on how quickly Axl could put on his "Manager," hat and admired that. Billy agreed to do the Cake Cream Show tomorrow. Axl smiled and called Jimmy, James, Mike, and Andy and told them the Fans wanted to see them perform tomorrow. They all agreed to do the Show tomorrow. Axl and Billy were smiling. Axl and Billy chilled until the next day.
The next day, Cake Cream were all in Axl's hotel and got ready for the Show later in the Afternoon. They chatted amicably and practiced.
They went to the Venue and were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. They practiced again and 50,000 fans showed up to see Cake Cream perform. They performed behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and were really good. All of a sudden, a WOLF meandered into the venue, near front row. Cake Cream and Axl couldn't believe they were looking at a WOLF. The Cakers(Cake Cream Fans) were shocked too.
There were nervous chatterings and Axl said to everyone, " Let's all not panic. A Wolf is just a dog that hasn't been trained yet. Let's see if I can communicate with this untrained dog. Axl did a dog whistle with his voice and the Wolf obediently sat calmly. Cakers and Cake Cream were impressed that Axl could communicate with Wolves. Axl smiled and the Show went on and after the show, Axl did another dog whistle with his voice and the Wolf calmly left. Axl quipped that even a Wolf was a Cake Cream fan. Cakers and Cake Cream had to laugh at this. They all left the Venue and went back to the hotel and chilled, musing about the random Wolf that came to see Cake Cream. They were in a happy mood.
Axl and Billy booked another week in the Hotel. Cake Cream and Axl hung out more, just relaxing and enjoying each other's company, just like if it were a normal day at Billy's house. In fact, James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy also booked their own rooms at the hotel too for a week. They all went to the Hotel Restaurant and had a nice steak, fries, soda, water, and chocolate cake and ice cream, and paid and went back to Axl and Billy's Hotel Room and chilled again and then Mike, Andy, James, and Jimmy left to their own Rooms.
Axl and Billy snuggled close to each other in bed and Axl said to Billy,"I'm really glad I met you." Billy said,"I'm glad I met you too." They kissed for a little while and then fell asleep. When they woke up, they ate and got ready for the day. Cake Cream and Axl decided to go to Disney World and have fun. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.
At Disney World, Cake Cream asked Axl who his favorite Disney Character was and Axl responded with a big smile,"Mickey Mouse. He's the best Mouse in the world." Cake Cream smiled back. Soon, as luck would have it, Mickey Mouse himself was near them and Axl wanted to have a picture with Mickey Mouse, his favorite Disney Character. Axl and Cake Cream asked Mickey if Axl could have his picture taken with him and Mickey happily obliged.
Axl and Mickey posed for a picture, both smiling widely and James took the picture. Axl thanked Mickey for the selfie and Mickey welcomed him. Mickey amicably said his goodbyes with Cake Cream and Axl, and then left. Axl was happy he got his picture taken with Mickey.
Cake Cream were all asked who their favorite Disney Character were.. Jimmy said Cinderella. James said Sleeping Beauty. Billy said Pluto. Andy said Goofy. Mike said Beauty Belle. They all got pictures taken with their favorite Disney Character and the DC and Cake Cream were all smiling. Soon after, they went on rides and then ate and drank and soon went back to the hotels. They all took deep naps and woke up and uploaded their pictures to Social Media and chilled for a long time.
PREVIOUSLY on One A-hole at a Time ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGrimReaper
Now, the PREQUEL ...
After watching those two loonie "tunes" on the tv, for some time, A1 and A2 decided to permanently part ways, but, from Earth. So, they both climbed into the time machine, hidden in a homeless community in Portland, to go back to an earlier time, one before the age of television. Nay, they had to drive some poor schmuck's pick-up truck through it to make it work, which they stole that morning, but, which necessarily remained behind at the Portland portal after they went through, with only organic matter being able to pass through. Quite randomly, they selected a small planet called Arkanar, far away from the electromagnetic influences of Earth. A wonderfully bucolic planet with beautiful people, at least until shortly after they arrived. So, they made a pact, between themselves, to forever remain. Next, they set fire to the time machine. Most unusually though, even weirdly, was that they inadvertently carried the Covid-19 virus along with them (not to mention a bag full of dead frogs from who knew where) back through time, which brought a quick, and devastating, change to both the planet and its people. You see, according to doctor Redietz, from Penn. State, such diseases generally become much less aggressive over time, and, but, so, to almost instantly bring it back a few centuries created a wholly new and 99.999% lethal variant of the disease - but not of course for A1 or A2 because their vaccine protection thus automatically proportionately increased. But, without the technology, understanding, or even the parts, to begin to rebuild the time machine, they were stranded. One remarked to the other, "Gee it's hard to be a god." However, years after the "revived" Covid-19 lifted without a trace, or at least lay dormant - but with its effect too much for the planet and its people - a new bunch of space travelers from Earth stumbled on their schematics for the prototype for the time machine, and, coincidentally, stumbled upon the planet, Arkanar. But, they would not acknowledge A1 or A2, who had become quite elderly, by then. There was no convincing them that they were once rock stars, from Earth, or, that Arkanar was once such a planet of such people. By then, they fit in with the other antics of the planet, Arkanar. Most unusually though, even weirdly, was that one of the latest time travelers later inadvertently carried the Covid-19 virus back along with him, to Earth. So, in the end, the virus was neither man, nor monkey, -made after all, but a product of a temporal loop created in the gambling imagination of a tv character named, Tasha.
Now, the SQUEL ...
In any event, to return to the story, the sequel part, fortunately a bit shorter. Similarly, most unusually though, even weirdly, was that all of that time travel inadvertently opened an extraterrestrial time-signature, or latent wormhole, beacon on high to the planet Earth, for any and every tom-dick-and-harry piece of space shit out there. Some, possibly, already on this very forum. Which gave rise, nay, will give rise, to the real Borg, Body Snatchers, Wraith (of Stargate Atlantis), Steven Hawking's aliens (to be feared), and, so on, and even to some guy who will copy the words, "Talk to the Hand," from a young man with a V in his name who was sore at somebody (with a bit of bird shit all over him) for repeatedly beating him at his own good game. Not much hope for mankind, now, given that our best defense is the mouth of easily offended effeminate Monet, and, his grateful sidekick, but lout, the Tablepooey. (Ha.)
And, so it was, with the advent of the "winter storm of the century" upon us, now, the prophecy of the SEQUEL is about to be fulfilled. Watch out!!!
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46 ---------------> 46 = (-1 + 47) ---> 147, or 741.
Which goes with another Irishman's song called,Quote:
Text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States, anytime. Crisis Text Line is here for any crisis. A live, trained Crisis Counselor [aka EvenBob] receives the text and responds, all from our secure online platform. The volunteer Crisis Counselor will help you move from a hot moment to a cool moment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_P-v1BVQn8
Time of 3:34 ---> (1 + 333) ---> 1/333 = 1/√9√9√9 ---> 666.
Coincidentally, with 432K likes = (2 X 6*6*6)K likes ---> 666_666.
Wow, garnabby, that was pretty good...have you adjusted your meds and finally found that 'sweet spot?"
*golf clap*
Billy was out and about when he decided to do something "special" for his lover, something besides accommodating Axl's excruciatingly painful sexual fetishes; he came up with a brilliant idea for an experience he just "knew" Axl would enjoy.
He returned from the costume shop with a Mickey Mouse costume; he put it on and walked through the door, when...
Unbeknownst to Billy, Axl had decided to drop a four way hit of blotter acid an hour ago and was just now starting to peak.
Axl heard the door open without anybody ringing the bell or knocking and saw what looked to him in his drug-induced state like a twenty foot tall sewer rat whose face and body were melting, singing "They're coming to take me away..."
Thoroughly freaked, Axl at first just stared, but then "fight or flight" kicked in; he reached for the closest weapon at hand: a fireplace tong.
Over and over he beat the hellish intruder, pausing only when his energy was sapped, then renewing his defensive onslaught; he was blissfully unaware that he was humming "I've been working on the railroad" while he repetitively administered his dose of final justice.
The threat having been dealt with, he went to the bathroom and noticed he was covered with blood; fearing his brain had burst he sat cowering in the bathtub with the shower on.
Sex...drugs...rock 'n roll...
After uploading their pictures to Social Media, they ate some food and watched TV and chilled more.
On Social Media, Cake Cream and Axl Fans were wondering if Axl could be the father of any Cake Cream Members.
Axl said to Cake Cream,"I'm not any of your Fathers because one, I don't have any Children, and two because in 1995 and 1996, I was a Hermit who wasn't having any sex at all. There's absolutely no way I am any of your Fathers and it would be downright creepy if I were Billy's Father." Billy blushed. And besides, NONE of you look even remotely like me."
Cake Cream suggested they all do a DNA test with Axl to be sure. Axl said,"I already told you, I wasn't having sex the years you were conceived and born."
Cake Cream insisted and Axl reluctantly agreed to do the DNA test with all of them. The next day, they went to a rapid DNA testing site and did the DNA tests and it turned out that Axl was right. None of Cake Cream were his Sons.
Cake Cream had their definitive answer. Axl wasn't any of their Fathers. They went back to the hotel. They had Room Service and chilled.
But something bothered Axl about Cake Cream: he poured over the test results and got the shock of his life.
Cake Cream was not his son; Cake Cream was his daughter.
Axl confronted Cake Cream, who blushed and admitted to having a sex change operation when "THEY" (Cake Cream's promoun of choice) were 18 and blowing strangers in the bus station for drug money.
Axl was puzzled; the only woman he'd fucked back then was his mother, once, when both were coked up.
"So you're my son, my daughter, and my brother and my sister" he concluded, before putting a gun to his head and pulling the trigger.
They chilled in the Hotel for that week, having fun. Then they went back home.
On Social Media, Fans pointed out that Cake Cream didn't have any Music videos and they wanted to see at least one music video.
Axl asked Cake Cream if they were up to making a music video to appease their Fans. Cake Cream were up for this.
Axl took out his cellphone and Cake Cream recorded All The Right Words while Axl filmed this in the house with his cellphone's Camera. Cake Cream and Axl had a blast making this home music video.
After the home music video was shot, they're uploaded it to YouTube and Fans loved it. They loved the simplicity of it, like these were your Friends you were hanging out with who decided to perform a song for you. It quickly went viral.
Claven Records called Cake Cream and congratulated them on how good the All The Right Words music video was. They all thanked Claven Records and were welcomed. They all chatted and then said their goodbyes. Cake Cream were really happy they accepted Axl's offer to be their Manager. Axl was a really good Manager. Axl smiled back at them.
They ordered no contact pizza and ate it and chilled again.
Brandon Records called them and offered Cake Cream 500 Million EACH to leave Claven Records and work for them. Brandon Records was worth about 4 Billion.
Cake Cream would be worth about 600 Million if they took this deal, much more than the roughly 100 Million they were worth now. Cake Cream and Axl told them they would think about it and call them back soon. They agreed.
Cake Cream asked Axl what he thought about this deal and Axl had a bad feeling about this. He had a guy feeling that something shady was going on. He didn't trust this offer.
He told them his bad gut feeling and Cake Cream questioned if he was just apprehensive because Cake Cream would be wealthier than both Axls if they took this deal. They pointed out his resentment of the Demo Stunt and the Grammy wins.
Axl was hurt but pointed out he cared about them and didn't want to see them get hurt. He said he didn't care about the fact that with this deal, they would be wealthier than both Axls. He once again pointed out that he cared about THEM.
Axl said,"Don't you think it's odd that Brandon Records is offering over HALF of their net worth to you guys? They are worth 4 Billion. Why would they offer to give you guys $2.5 billion? Trust me, something REALLY bad is going on here. This is a major red flag. Don't do it, please, "Axl begged them desperately. Cake Cream pointed out that Axl had solid points.
They reluctantly agreed to decline Brandon Records offer and called Brandon Records politely told Brandon Records they declined.
Axl smiled, relieved that they trusted and believed him.
Brandon Records said,"That's a shame, but we respect your decisions."
They politely chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Cake Cream were apprehensive about the fact that they just let 500 Million slip away from them each, but Axl warmly pointed out that they did the right thing and that 500 Million deal was SKETCHY. He literally screamed the word SKETCHY.
Cake Cream hoped Axl was right. He assured them he was right.
Restless, Axl pogo-sticked to his neighborhood casino; he loved the free coffee.
He had chatted with a fan at a gambling forum and agreed to meet her there; they never connected.
Shattered, he left and later learned she had been there, hand bag and all, but somehow...like two ships in the night...they missed meeting up.
Axl was disappointed because he had a feeling that this woman could be the one to finally save him, to make him the man he always wanted to be, instead of a commodity.
Whether it was her vapid, inane way of dealing with reality or her cupidity as to human nature, Axl was smitten.
He PM'ed her and arranged a meeting later in the local "no tell motel:" he suggested she should wear a French maid outfit and douche with lavender.
Oh, what a joyous night it could be.
Axl and Cake Cream wondered if they should report Brandon Records shady offer to Claven Records.
Axl and Cake Cream decided to look at the Contracts they signed when they decided to work for Claven Records.
According to the Contracts they signed to work for Claven Records, they were supposed to report shady stuff like the shady Brandon Records offer. Which is what they wondered already.
They got ready to go to Claven Records and then left and went to Claven Records.
At Claven Records, they reported Brandon Records shady offer and Timothy acknowledged that this was a shady offer and it was a good thing they didn't go for it. Cake Cream and Axl breathed relieved sighs of relief.
Timothy pointed out that Brandon Records were a shady Record company who most likely would have tricked Cake Cream into doing shady stuff. Timothy pointed out the 500 Million offer each was most likely a straight up scam and they probably would have paid them more like 10 Million each.
Timothy went on Google and there were lots of links pointing out that Brandon Records was a straight up BAD Company, with lots of shady practices and scams. It was truly a miracle they were still in business. At least Claven Records was a Legitimate and honest Record Company. Cake Cream were grateful Axl prevented them from making a HUGE mistake. Axl really was a good Manager.
They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and left.
At home, Cake Cream thanked Axl for saving them for working for a shady Company.
Axl smiled and said,"Thanks. That's what a good Manager does. Looks out for his Clients."
They all smiled and chilled.
The phone rang; Axl picked it up.
"This is douchedawg, I represent Brandon records. Is it true you won't sign with Brandon?"
"Yes, they are shady" said Axl.
"Shady is as shady does. Let me tell you one thing. If you don't sign with them TODAY I will post all across the internet the photos we have of you and Billy holding hands, kissing, and having sex. You have one hour to decide, then WHAM it gets posted."
The mangy, tick-infested dawg hung up; Axl fell to his knees and moaned.
"We are fucked!" he cried miserably; then he ate some Twinkies and felt better.
"I guess we better lawyer up" he thought; he grabbed the phone and called his old lawyer buddy in Portland.
"Yo, hey, we got a problem down here and we need your help..."
Brandon Records went on the News and claimed that they paid Cake Cream 500 Million each to work for them and Cake Cream took the 500 Million each and never showed up to work. They claimed they were suing Cake Cream for Theft.
Cake Cream and Axl were STUNNED. How could Brandon Records blatantly lie about them on the News and even think of suing them for something that never happened?
Axl was like,"What did I tell you? Brandon Records is SKETCHY!"
Cake Cream backed up Axl, even more grateful for his foresight that saved them.
Claven Records called Cake Cream and Axl and told them about Brandon Records blatant lies about them and the lawsuit.
Cake Cream and Axl told Claven Records that they already knew. Claven Records said that they had their backs.
Cake Cream and Axl thanked Claven Records and were welcomed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Cake Cream pointed out all the bad luck that happened to them, them having to give back the 5 Grammys, John Wilson trying to Murder Billy, Axl getting shot multiple times, Axl becoming a wanted fugitive, Axl ending up in jail, their private moments in their backyard being filmed and uploaded without their permission, John trying to Murder Billy again, Brandon Records lying about them and getting ready to sue them, NBC rolling the camera in the interview when they weren't supposed to be rolling etc.
They asked Axl if they were cursed.
Axl wryly responded,"We are not cursed. Cursed is the Titanic that hit the iceberg and broke and sank into the ocean. We are no where near as bad as a ship hitting an iceberg, breaking in half and sinking into the ocean."
Cake Cream had to smile at this.
Axl continued wryly," We are more like Lemony Snicket's A Series Of Unfortunate Events."
Cake Cream smiled some more.
Axl surfed the net and froze like a deer shot through and through with a 155 millimeter cannon.
That shyster douchedawg had actually done it.
Images of Axl and Billy kissing, holding hands, and having sex were now in the public domain.
Craven Records called, absolutely bat shit; Axl's ex-wife called and said "No surprise, you always were lousy in the sack."
Axl called his attorney in Portland, crying hysterically (Axl, not his chill attorney) and was reassured.
"Relax old boy, I'll take care of this..."
Axl's attorney, Mr. X, called douchedawg.
"Hey douche, you got a minute?"
"Barely; I'm at Cosmo pissing away my family's oil money. Who is this?"
"I am Axl's attorney; we have much to discuss."
"Oh yeah? Discuss THIS..." douchedawg terminated the call, turned to the pit boss and signed yet another marker, the thirty-second one of that session.
"The nerve of some guys" he brayed.
Meanwhile, in stumptown, Mr. X set things into play...
Brandon Records called Cake Cream phones and told them they were going to sue them tomorrow.
Cake Cream and Axl begged Brandon Records to just leave them alone. Brandon Records refused to leave them alone and reiterated that they would see them in court tomorrow. They had tense conversations and then hung up.
Axl and Cake Cream couldn't believe Brandon Records was suing them. They hadn't done anything wrong. They went to a Law Firm and hired some Lawyers. The Lawyers took their cases and Cake Cream and Axl paid them half upfront and would pay them after the Court Hearing.
They all practiced the case and went home. They ate and chilled and pondered about their upcoming cases tomorrow.
They got ready for bed and then went to sleep.
The next day, they got ready for the day and ate. They wore motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests and went to the Courthouse. They were early and once again practiced their court cases with their Lawyers.
Brandon Records came in and Court was in Session. Brandon Records brought fake Documents with fake signatures claiming they paid Cake Cream 500 Million each and Cake Cream never showed up to work.
Cake Cream and Axl were disturbed by the forged signatures.
Cake Cream Lawyers pointed out that Axl's signature wasn't on any of the documents, and he was their Manager. Brandon Records gave caught expressions when Cake Cream Lawyers pointed out that Axl's signature wasn't on the Documents. The Lawyers also questioned them giving Cake Cream $2.5 billion when they were worth $4 billion.
Claven Records were also there to testify against Brandon Records and pointed out that Cake Cream and Axl never signed "Contract release from Claven Records," documents, which would be required to work for Brandon Records. Cake Cream and Axl were grateful that Claven Records testified for them and Claven Records welcomed them.
Brandon Records insisted that Cake Cream signed the documents.
Cake Cream went on the stand and said they didn't sign those Documents and had politely declined to work for them over the phone after Axl pointed out that he didn't trust the offer. Axl also went on the stand and said Cake Cream didn't sign those Documents and his signature wasn't even on the Documents . Cake Cream Lawyers asked Cake Cream to sign on a blank sheet of paper to compare the signatures. Cake Cream signed the paper and Claven Records also showed the real signatures on the actual Documents Cake Cream signed to work for Claven Records.
The Cake Cream signatures on the paper and the Claven Records signatures matched perfectly, but the Brandon Records forged signatures didn't match perfectly at all.
Under pressure, Brandon Records admitted they made fake Documents and forged the Cake Cream signatures out of resentful revenge for Cake Cream declining to work for them. They admitted they lied about Cake Cream.
The Judge was disgusted and ordered Brandon Records to pay Cake Cream the 500 Million each for defamation of character and fraud, and perjury , or be sentenced to 20 years in Prison. Brandon Records Zelled Cake Cream the 500 Million each(They didn't want 20 years in Prison). The Judge said that Brandon Records were never allowed to contact Cake Cream or Axl again. Cake Cream were elated that they beat their cases and were 500 Million each richer and Brandon Records was permanently banned from ever contacting them or Axl ever again. Axl was happy too.
This meant that Cake Cream were all richer than Axl now, but he was elated that he turned out to be right that Brandon Records were shady and that Cake Cream had gotten justice. He smiled at all of them. As a special gift, each of Cake Cream Zelled Axl 100 million each to thank him for being such a good Manager, Mentor, and Friend for them. He was touched and welcomed them. They paid their Lawyers the rest of the money they owed their Lawyers and Court was over and they went back home, very happy.
Brandon Records attorney, douchedawg, coralled Axl / Cake Cream's attorney, Mr. X, in the courthouse hallway immediately after the hearing.
"We'll appeal...this ain't over yet" brayed the burnoose-clad lawyer.
Mr. X sized up douchedawg: "Nothing to see here," he mused, then chuckled to himself, thinking "hell, this idiot attended a third rate law school and has the trial skills of a chimpanzee."
Mr. X made a modest proposition: "In lieu of an appeal, how about Trial By Combat?"
The douche mulled it over, and agreed.
The lawyers put down their brief cases, took off their coats and the fight was on.
Douchdawg quickly realized he was fucked: Mr. X was 6' 4"", 250 pounds, and fit, whereas he was fat, slow and stupid.
It was over in ten seconds.
Douchedawg looked up from the floor and asked "Where am I," to which Mr. X responded "in hell, boyo, in hell."
The Court Date was already going viral on Social Media.
Fans of Cake Cream and Axl supported them and were disgusted that Brandon Records lied about them.
Fans also congratulated Cake Cream on their 500 Million each award. They were happy Brandon Records got their well deserved bad karma.
Axl and Cake Cream were happy their Fans had their backs.
On the News, the Court Hearing was shown and the News Anchors were disgusted by Brandon Records actions. The News Anchors congratulated Cake Cream for the 500 Million each award.
Axl had a sudden pang in his stomach. He thought of Brandon Records trying to steal the 500 Million each back from Cake Cream. He told them his gut feelings and Cake Cream wondered if Axl could be right. He pointed out that he was right about Brandon Records so far. They trusted him and Axl urged them to open new Accounts in another Bank.
They all agreed to go to Ocean Bank and they all opened new Accounts in Ocean Bank. Axl had gotten a new valid ID since he had been exposed as Axl Rose, 😉 After they opened their new Ocean Bank Accounts, Cake Cream transferred 500 Million each to their Ocean Bank Accounts. Brandon Records hadn't paid Axl, so his Account was safe, but he had opened an Ocean Bank Account too as solidarity with Cake Cream.
Sure enough, just about an hour later, Cake Cream got alerts on their phones stating that Brandon Records had tried to steal 500 Million each from Cake Cream's primary Bank Accounts. Thank God for Axl's foresight once again! They all thanked Axl for saving them again. He welcomed them.
Cake Cream wondered if they should sue Brandon Records for attempted theft. Axl wondered about the fact that Brandon Records weren't supposed to ever contact them again, would Cake Cream be violating some kind of Contract if they forced Brandon Records to be in contact with them with a Lawsuit. He told Cake Cream his pondering and they agreed with Axl.
Axl said that they should just report Brandon Records attempted theft to Claven Records and have Claven Records take care of it themselves.
They all were like,"Good idea, Axl!" Trusting him. They all chilled until the next day and the next day, they went to Claven Records and showed them the attempted theft Brandon Records had done. Claven Records were disgusted by Brandon Records once again and contacted Brandon Records on Cake Cream's behalf and Brandon Records admitted they tried to steal the 500 Million each back. Claven Records recorded the confession and turned over the confession and the alerts to the same judge who had sentenced Brandon Records. The Judge was disgusted and issued arrest warrants for Brandon Records. Brandon Records went on the run to another Country.
The Judge said if caught, they would serve the full 20 years in Prison for the attempted theft.
Cake Cream and Axl were glad that they would be safe from Brandon Records for at least 20 years.
Little did Axl know that Brandon Records had given their attorney full power of attorney to act and sign contracts on their behalf.
It so happened that their attorney, douchedawg, was venal and crooked, as was the judge.
The next day Axl was shocked to learn that the judge had vacated his sentence based on "irregularities" and Brandon Records returned as if nothing had happened.
Paying $250,000.00 to the judge was the best defense douchedawg could come up with, but it worked. "just the way I was taught back home" he mulled.
"America, what a nation of sheep. Oh, how I miss my sheep. I really love ewe" recalled the debased shyster somewhat sheepishly.
"But now, to work."
He opened his closet and inspected his Glock.
"Time to take out the trash.,,"
Lots of Musicians and Singers who were signed to Brandon Records were upset that they were out of jobs now now that their Bosses literally fled the Country on the run. Axl and Cake Cream felt sorry for them and suggested that Claven Records take over Brandon Records. Claven Records took Axl and Cake Cream's suggestions seriously and took over Brandon Records and Brandon Records Musicians and Singers were happy. Claven Records thanked Axl and Cake Cream for their suggestions and told ex Brandon Records Musicians and Singers whose actual bright ideas it was for Claven Records to take over Brandon Records. The ex Brandon Records Musicians and Singers thanked Axl and Cake Cream too and Axl and Cake Cream welcomed them.
Claven Records were now worth about 2 Billion. The Music Industry loved that Claven Records took over Brandon Records and Claven Records gave Axl and Cake Cream credit for their idea. Axl and Cake Cream modestly blushed.
Cake Cream and Axl went home and ate no contact pizza again and chilled.
Axl and Billy went into Billy's room and made out again passionately, enjoying each other's kisses and company. Axl caressed Billy's hair and Billy smiled contently. Axl said,"Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go now?" Making Billy laugh happily.
They chatted a little while longer and fell asleep. The next day, Cake Cream and Axl woke up, ate, and got ready for the day.
They went to the mall wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and ate at a Restaurant. The Female Waitress was a huge fan of them, especially Jimmy. She was particularly nice to Jimmy and he didn't seem to mind. In fact, he was very receptive to her. They were smiling and flirting with each other. Billy, Axl, James, Andy, Mike, could see the chemistry and the connection between them.
They all ordered and ate and paid. On Jimmy's receipt, the female Waitress had put her phone number on Jimmy's paid receipt. Jimmy blushed and accepted. She smiled happily. Jimmy and she chatted more flirtatiously and then everyone said their goodbyes. They left and Axl said to Jimmy,"Remember to use your condoms for female Fans, especially a certain Waitress you like a lot. " Jimmy blushed happily.
They bought some items and went home. Jimmy called the Waitress after her shift and they chatted for a long time. It was obvious they were into each other a lot.
Jimmy asked Axl if it was okay if he dated the Waitress.
Axl said,"I'm cool with you dating her. He then asked the rest of Cake Cream if they were okay with him dating the Waitress. They all were okay with him dating the Waitress. Jimmy was happy.
Mr. X sat in his office sipping coffee and petting his cat.
He was decompressing after his bit of fisticuffs at the courthouse earlier that day.
"Can't wait for the work day to end, I really want to go home, turn on some Rufus du Sol and blaze away" he mused.
A loud commotion erupted outside his closed door, punctuated by a gunshot and a woman's scream.
"My secretary!" Mr. X exclaimed, as he reached into his desk drawer, pulled out his Smith and Wesson 9mm, confirmed the safety was off, and stood up.
At that instant the door burst open and framed within it was douchedawg, gun in hand.
Before the douche could get off a shot Mr. X fired first, hitting the angry, third rate word smith.
"WTF is wrong with you?" asked Mr. X, to which the douche responded "anagrams...it was...the anagrams...that made me do it ... oooooo ..."
Mr. X called 911; as an EMT hauled the douche away Mr. X overheard the douche tell the attendant "call my host in Vegas and tell him I'll be a bit late."
*note: the above is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is both coincidental and too damn bad.
Jimmy and Allison ended up dating exclusively. She and he really did make a good couple. Cake Cream and Axl liked her too. She was nice, sweet, funny and ended up going to some Cake Cream Shows.
A couple of days later, she and James ended up having sex. That's right, James, not Jimmy. She left James's room and left the house. The next day, Jimmy saw Allison's panty in James's bed and confronted him. James admitted he and Allison had sex last night.
Jimmy was infuriated and said,"You fuced my girlfriend?!" He punched James hard in the face and James ran out of his room, frightened. Jimmy ran after him getting ready to hit him more. Axl saw the commotion and held Jimmy back from hitting James again. Jimmy explained the situation and James admitted to it again. Jimmy tried to lunge at James, but Axl held him even tighter. Billy, Mike, and Andy also woke up to see Jimmy being held back by Axl and James looking scared. They knew something bad had happened and the situation was explained.
Axl calmly said, "James, you having sex with Allison was foul. " Jimmy, you hitting James was not and is not the right thing to do." Jimmy gave James a withering death glare. Andy, Mike, and Billy were disgusted that Allison and James had sex. How could James go have sex with Jimmy's girlfriend?
Axl calmly told James to pack his suitcase and leave temporarily and think about what he did. James packed his suitcase, put on his motorcycle helmet and bulletproof vest and obediently left. He went to the Local Marriott.
Jimmy traced James's cellphone and found it at the local Marriott. James said wryly and angrily, James is at the local Marriott. I also want to go to the local Marriott and have a nice "chat," with a certain ex friend of mine. " Axl said,"No, you're staying here." Jimmy reluctantly agreed to stay with Axl, Billy, Andy, and Mike.
Jimmy called Allison and confronted her and she also admitted she had sex with James. He dumped her.
Axl wondered about the future of Cake Cream since this happened.
Jimmy was fuming over James and Allison: the nerve of those people.
He noted he was scratching his wrists and his crotch, then smiled.
"Heh heh heh, I 'forgot' to tell Allison about my scabies, crabs, and herpes; looks like they'll both have something to remember me by."
He logged online to his favorite porn site and as usual did the rattlesnake shake.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob5Q_daCOB8
Axl, Jimmy, Andy, and Billy stayed in the house.
Jimmy cried uncontrollably. He couldn't believe his ex girlfriend cheated on him with one of his best Friends.
"No, no, no!" Jimmy lamented in crushing pain. Axl, Andy, Mike, and Billy all hugged Jimmy to comfort him.
"I hate James and Allison so much," Jimmy said half angrily and half heart broken.
"It's okay to be angry and hurt," Axl said soothingly. You were done very wrong by two People you loved."
Billy, Andy, and Mike backed up Axl. Jimmy was grateful he had four best Friends to support him now.
Axl said,"We'll have lots of ice cream and pizza and have a nice boys in day today. "
Jimmy smiled softly. "That sounds good." Cake Cream all agreed.
Axl ordered 5 cartons of ice cream and ordered 3 boxes of Domino's Pizza and they pigged out on ice cream and pizza, Billy, Axl Andy, and Mike supporting Jimmy.
Billy admired how quickly Axl could be the warm, supporting, loving, Friend as well as the serious, business Manager.
Jimmy felt a lot better having Andy, Mike, Billy, and Axl support him. He was still hurt by the crushing betrayal James and Allison had done, but having Andy, Axl, Billy, and Mike support him made this so much better. Jimmy fell asleep.
James called Axl. Axl answered and said, "James, you messed up really bad. You shouldn't have had sex with Allison. "
James said," Jimmy wasn't supposed to find out. I didn't know she was going to leave her panty in my bed."
Axl said," You should have gotten your own girlfriend, not lay with Jimmy's girlfriend.
"But, I like Allison."
"Please tell me you used a condom and spermicide with Allison," Axl said in half Brother, half serious Manager.
James said,"Yes, I used a condom and spermicide with Allison."
Axl breathed a relieved sigh of relief. "Good, because the last thing we need is for Allison to be pregnant with your Baby."
James agreed.
Axl said, "You know what, I'm going to help you out as your Brother like Friend and suggest you go take a nice vacation, out of State, maybe go to New York. Because Jimmy knows you are at the Local Marriott. The last thing you need is for him to go to the Local Marriott and kick your ass. Jimmy's sleeping now, so I'd book it out of there within a couple of minutes if I were you.
"Thank you for that advice, Axl! James said, gratefully. "I'll leave in a few minutes!"
Axl welcomed him and they said goodbye. Axl hung up the phone.
At the Local Marriott, James hastily packed his bags and checked out and took a LYFT to Miami International Airport and booked a last minute flight to New York. He got processed and went on Airplane to New York City, grateful that Axl looked out for him.
I do not take this seriously and I don't think people should. However, I am scared for my life and want you charged with a hate crime. You, Axl and the real Kentry and his mother.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Yeah, well, the only thing driving me crazy is you putting an 'h' in wacky, and, quotation marks around colons, and semi-colons [*clearly against every one's rules]. In fact, you shit a steady stream of the latter like there's no tomorrow. Moreover, I would have written, "third-rate wordsmith". I mean, without even checking, it has to be wordsmith. No? Even LarryS wrote better stuff. Bang, bang, and, Happy New Year, MrV!Quote:
Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesdayI do not take this seriously and I don't think people should. However, I am scared for my life and want you charged with a hate crime. You, Axl and the real Kentry and his mother.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Double P.S.S. Never would have read any of the above were it not for boy Tuesday.
Triple P.S.S.S. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to go around purposefully writing about people, but, calling it fiction. One book comes to mind, "Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town" by Stephen Leacock. If I recall, he wrote of the people of Orilla, a very small Indian casino town in Ontario, but, under the name of Mariposa. Every one knew whom he was talking about. Caused quite a stir.
And yes, it was Redietz, who came up with the P.S.S. nonsense.
This is just satire. Satire is protected speech. I just look at is as an inside joke. Even joking about violence can be used to make you seem guilty or a suspect if something bad happens. In some ways talking your anger out makes it obvious you couldn't have done it because doing it would be so stupid for you. You have something to lose then so you act so you don't want to lose it and I'm burned out again.
James found himself calling Allison from New York and they chatted for a long while. James and she really liked each other. As evident by the sex they had not too long ago.
James couldn't believe he was in love with Jimmy's recent ex girlfriend, but it happened. James found himself asking if she wanted to be his girlfriend when he got back to Florida from New York after his New York vacation and she said yes. James was happy.
Back in Florida, Claven Records called Axl and told him that Fans wanted to see Cake cream perform at the James L Knight Center tomorrow.
Axl responded uncomfortably," Uh, we're kind of going through a crisis and maybe us performing tomorrow isn't the best idea."
Claven Records asked,"What's going on?"
Axl told the truth and admitted that James had sex with Allison and Jimmy was heartbroken over this and it might not be the best time for Cake Cream to be performing.
Claven Records responded," James had sex with Allison? Ooh, that's really bad, but is there a way that Cake Cream can still perform? I mean, the Fans really want to see Cake Cream perform tomorrow.
Axl gave in with a reluctant sigh. "Okay, I'll talk Jimmy into performing tomorrow with Cake Cream."
Claven Records were satisfied and they chatted a little while longer and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Axl told Cake Cream that Claven Records said Fans wanted to see them perform at the James L Knight Center tomorrow.
Jimmy was apprehensive about performing tomorrow when he was heartbroken and James wasn't even there to play lead guitar, not that Jimmy particularly wanted James playing with him after that dastardly stunt James had just pulled.
Axl had an idea and told Cake Cream his idea. He would pretend to be James. They wore motorcycle helmets anyways and Axl could easily pretend to be James with the motorcycle helmet on and if he put on makeup on his Tattoos. Jimmy pointed out that Axl was not a lead guitarist, and in fact, he wasn't a Guitarist at all. Axl told him,"Don't worry about that. In 1987, I play with Slash, Izzy, and Duff who all play Guitar. Surely some of their talents must have rubbed off on me." He was smiling. "We're working for the Fans who want to see Cake Cream perform. Remember that."
Jimmy discussed this with Cake Cream and they were all on board. Jimmy, Andy, Billy, and Mike practiced, with Jimmy being the sole bassist without James's lead guitaring.
They chilled until the next day and the next day, Axl took James's guitar and Cake Cream and Axl all went to the Venue wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.
Axl and Cake Cream minus James went on stage behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and Fans wondered where the hell was Axl (Axl was pretending to be James). Axl plucked James' guitar crazily like an untrained and clumsy 5 year old playing pretend. Jimmy sounded good as the bass guitar, but it was clear that Axl was no Guitar Player. Apparently, Slash, Duff, and Izzy guitar prowesses did not run off on Axl. Luckily, Billy, Mike, Jimmy and Andy sounded really good. Fans cheered, but it was clear they noticed something was off with "James," and Axl being nowhere to be seen. After the show, they did the final sendoff, and Fans gave confused cheering.
Cake Cream and Axl left the Venue and went home.
Already the latest Cake Cream Show went viral and Fans were wondering,"Where the hell was Axl?" And why did James play so off tonight when he is usually a talented and very good lead guitarist?" Cake Cream and Axl blushed knowing exactly what had happened.
Exactly; heck, I've no anger with douchedawg; he's just the butt of jokes so far as I am concerned.Quote:
Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday
If anyone takes this shit seriously they need to have their head examinied.
With apologies to Cyndi Lauper: girls aren't the only ones who want to have fun.
James made a call from his NY hotel room and the next morning he was on national TV, exposing everything about the Axl's, time travel, homosexual activity and how the band shunned him.
He spun it a bit, much like the newly elected NYC congressman spun his resume: he said they got rid of him becaus unlike the rest of Cake Cream he was not gay, and he said Cake Cream was offended because he actually enjoyed having sex with women, not men.
The reaction was fast and furious: the internet lit up with condemnation of Cake Cream and Axl.
Such an intense homophobic reaction was last seen on the backwater VCT forum.
Axl fielded calls from various people telling him that due to the latest developments, previously scheduled concerts were now cancelled.
Fans posted videos of them burning their Cake Cream CD's and logo'ed T-shirts.
It had all come tumbling down in a flash.
James parlayed his notoriety by joining a popular band, and to celebrate he fucked some spare chick he picked up in a bar.
Life was going on.
Of course it is. But, it helps to stretch things, however, just to see how others react.Quote:
Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday
Probably, the best way not to take shit seriously. Beats talking, let alone with fools, about examining heads.
Tasha, Mr V is kicking your ass on story telling. Maybe you should start you own thread and not interrupt Vee's story.
You mean brainlessly sporting bullet proof vests, motorcycle helments and chilling with boxes of pizza doesn't make for a good narrative?Quote:
Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday
Who knew?
Actually, only half of Cake Cream enjoys having sex with men. ;) James, Jimmy, and Mike are 100 percent Straight. ;) Billy and Andy are Gay and Axl is Bisexual. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
For those who didn't realize, Cake Cream was a creature composed of two conjoined male bodies; "Cake" was straight and "Cream" was a flaming homosexual.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
From the age of 13 on, Cream would regularly suck off Cake; being conjoined twins he had his Cake and ate him, too.
In this universe, even if you're sucked off by yourself personally, you're still gay.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVFor those who didn't realize, Cake Cream was a creature composed of two conjoined male bodies; "Cake" was straight and "Cream" was a flaming homosexual.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
From the age of 13 on, Cream would regularly suck off Cake; being conjoined twins he had his Cake and ate him, too.
James soon called Axl's Cellphone and Axl politely excused himself to his room and Cake Cream agreed. He went to his room.
James amusingly asked,"Axl, what were you thinking with that awful guitar stunt at the Cake Cream show?"
Axl blushed and asked,"How did you know it was me? I was supposedly "Not there."
James amused responded,"Come on, we all have that knowing vibe between us.
Axl responded,"Yeah, we do."
James responded," Your guitar playing was hilariously cringe worthy." James laughed.
"Hey, so I'm no you, Slash, Duff, Jimmy, or Izzy. I'm a SINGER, not a Guitar God." Axl said, lightheartedly.
James responded,"Fans noticed something was off with "My," performance, James said thoughtfully.
Axl responded," You are a great lead guitarist. You and Jimmy are a phenomenal guitar playing duo, you and him are guitar playing magic."
"I really messed up my and Jimmy's deep friendship by having sex with Allison," James said thoughtfully.
"Yes, you did," Axl responded seriously. "Allison is someone you JUST met, but Jimmy is like your brother."
"I like Allison so much," James lamented.
"This would have been completely fine if Allison and you were dating first, not Jimmy and Allison.
James responded that Axl was right.
James and Axl chatted for a long while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Axl went to Jimmy and asked him how he felt about James.
Jimmy sneered and said ,"I still hate him and want to beat his ass."
Axl said, "A little birdie told me that James feels guilty over having sex with Allison."
Jimmy responded,"Is this "Little birdie's" name James?"
Axl coyly responded,"I plead the fifth," which Cake Cream knew was code for "Yes," when Axl said that.
Jimmy responded,"I'm still not ready to forgive him. He shouldn't have done that in the first place."
Axl and he chatted for a little while longer and Axl went to his room.
He remembered the hurt song he wrote about Andy's attempted betrayal and Billy liking the song and telling him he should give it to Cake Cream. He wondered if he should write it again since James hurt Jimmy really badly.
He got a paper and a pen and wrote again
"You really hurt me. I loved you like a Brother and you stabbed me in my heart. The betrayal I feel from you is soul crushing. I thought you loved me. I would never have done the unspeakable betrayal you did to me. It's always loved ones betrayal that hurts the most. This would have hurt badly if a complete stranger had done this to me, but YOU? NO! NO! NO! How could you do it? I trusted you, I lived with you, I willingly ate food and drank drinks you gave me without a moment's hesitation. The pain I feel over this is unbearable.
This hurts, this hurts real bad. Betrayal of a brother.
I would have done anything for you. I would have laid my life on the line to save yours. I would have given you my last penny if you really needed it. I'm not so sure you would have done the same thing for me after this dastardly thing you did to me. We were Friends and Brothers. How could you? How could you?
This hurts, this hurts real bad. The betrayal of a Brother.
I sometimes wonder if I should have ever met you. Had I never met you, I wouldn't be in this tortured pain right now.
This hurts, this hurts real bad. The betrayal of a Brother.
Axl showed the hurt song to Billy and Billy's eyes lit up. "That's the hurt song you wrote about Andy's attempted betrayal! You rewrote it!" Billy was happy.
Axl responded,"Yes it is. The hurt song's lyrics fit what James did to Jimmy perfectly.
Billy responded,"Yes, they do.
Axl showed the Hurt Song to Jimmy and told him he wrote the Hurt Song. Jimmy responded, "That's EXACTLY how I feel about James!"
Jimmy passed the Hurt Song to Andy and Andy blushed, remembering the attempted betrayal he tried to do to Axl and wondered if the hurt song was originally about him.
Andy responded out loud,"It's a good song."
Mike also thought it was a good song.
Cake Cream and Axl decided to make this a real song and Mike sang the song, Jimmy did bass guitar, Andy played Keyboard, and Billy did the drums. It sounded really good. But one thing was missing. James's awesome lead guitar. The song would sound phenomenal if James was the lead guitar on this song.
Jimmy didn't want to admit that the hurt song would sound phenomenal with James awesome lead guitar. He was still hurting. It was the "I know it, but I don't want to admit it," thing.
Axl wondered if he should get James to play lead guitar on the hurt song, and then go back to New York. That's really what the hurt song needed, but Jimmy would most likely kick James ass if he saw him. Axl was torn on what to do.
Axl thought in a sudden flash to himself, in this modern present time, there was earlier a semi-successful band already called Cake. Cake sucked Axl thought, his time twin must have hated himself for having to like those songs knowing they were really bad. So he decided to go and get himself a Korean whore at the girls of madam Camay's Filipino palace and have some fun with a young massage therapist. Her name was Malo and she was really into Axl and she told him she didn't want a condom and wanted a baby. She was so perfect and like the woman of his dreams, but he told her he couldn't because she could have AIDs. They had hot sex, in which he didn't pull the condom all the way down and it felt good. Afterword Malo said she wanted him to give her a baby next time. That blew Axl's mind but he would never blow a load directly in a prostitute, again.
He stopped by the casino and was really relaxed and he wondered if people could tell he just got off. He thought to himself damn, that's really weird how every one of those whores always says they want to marry him. Axl didn't want to marry anyone and he also thought of himself of not being marriage material. Without the drugs, the money and the musical talent, nobody would want his ugly face he thought. So he was happy he had gotten laid, then when feeling this almost bumped into someone when he noticed a new machine. It was an obvious advantage game and was set up on all the denominations, all 25 bets. It was called Malo Hallo Ballo . Before he had even gotten to the highest bets, he was up $1400 and on a $7.50 bet (150 5c), he had a lucky combination come out and he won the GRAND MEGA instantly for $10440. He had his taxes taken out then he won another $4000 on the remaining bets with only 1 tax form. He almost had $10,000 in his hands and he thought this would never happen again before. He was ecstatic to make $14,000 again that lucky weekend and life looked good.
He decided to hire a limo and drive around to different places.They reminded him he wasn't very creative anymore and he probably never will get his aptitude back for being creative again. So he decided to begin a porno career by starting his own porn company. Axl quit his music and started figuring out how to hire camera people, lawyers, and actresses to work exclusively with him. He would use his gambling winnings to pay them for sex and he would have them all tested. This felt good to him but it didn't feel right basically paying women for sex because barely anyone was paying watching and there wasn't enough revenue to pay for the advertising.
The porn company was really failing, they weren't really profitable and they were spending more money running it than they were paid by customers. He decided to hire Malo, and the sales were flying off the shelves. He was making more money now than he ever did with GNR. Malo had become a star and he lost her to another actor she met on her 400th porno film. They drifted apart, but he was starting to feel like he could make music again after all.
He had awoken one day though and realized 35 years had gone by since he had graduated and he really didn't feel like living this way, so he decided to now just chill with his money, watch movies, eat well, and write books. He had almost become a good writer, but most of his small success were people following the band. He decided to start writing thins he wanted to do before he died, realizing he might die before he did them all if any at all. He was sick of what he had become, so he decided to travel back in time before he traveled forward in time. He would arrive a little early to kill his past self before he time traveled. Unfortunately, he traveled back in time, but space was a little different and he was transported halfway in an elevator shaft and had his head decapitated. He laughed in the final seconds how no matter what he ever did with his life, it wasn't his full potential and he screwed his life up, fuck was his last thought as he died and was almost frozen in time with his eyes wide open. Axl was dead. A woman named Kentry stole his ashes and used them to make a big, black, cock dildo. Somehow this dildo got her pregnant 3 times and she had 3 kids. The four of them were plotting to end the world. They actually succeeded and all life on planet Earth was gone. The Earth had died.
The aliens were happy, cleaned it up easily and moved in as the planet was now as they wanted with all their favorites from across the galaxy, it was pretty cool. Axl's head woke up for an instant and realized after 90 years being dead, he was finally happy and could move onto the next life as a woman who was semi-retarded. She could eat brontosaurus any time she wanted, so who needs to be a rocket scientist she thought. Life was good for this retard. Brontosaurus and Reese's Pieces. She knew one day her wonderful planet she would leave so she could travel back in time to marry Joseph Adolph Dolf Walgreen. She really loved paradoxes she formed because she was too stupid to change them or even know they were going on. She now felt so stupid with her plan to go back in time to get mustard for her brontosaurus sandwiches when she realized she already had mustard at home and it was a one way ticket to the past. She met Axl in time and had a baby with herself essentially. The only problem was young Axl died making the baby so he went to the future and found Bill and Ted and they straightened it all out for as much vodka as they could drink standing up.
Even I mentioned on another Website that Cake Cream and Axl wearing motorcycle helmets everytime they went out would actually look weird as hell, especially since they don't even have motorcycles! LMAO! :D But Axl got shot multiple times protecting Billy, who was the intended Victim. So he makes Cake Cream and himself wear motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests whenever they go out.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVYou mean brainlessly sporting bullet proof vests, motorcycle helments and chilling with boxes of pizza doesn't make for a good narrative?Quote:
Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday
Who knew?
Axl actually made them wear motorcycle helmets to avoid them getting hot in the head with items, citing that Duff got hit in the head with a glass bottle at a Guns N'Roses Show, and Axl said he'd be damned if he let any of Cake Cream get hit in the head with items, so he made everyone wear motorcycle helmets. He made everyone wear bulletproof vests to protect against getting shot in their vital organs. Axl was protected by the multiple gunshots by wearing a bulletproof vest and even the staff pointed out he was lucky he had the bulletproof vest on. :)
"Welcome to the Jungle," theywontpayontuesday.
_______________________________________________
Axl called James; in doing so he had to remove his motorcycle helmet and this scared him as the world was a wild and dangerous place; he even kept it on while showering having heard the shower had "hard water.".
James listened to Axl's pitch and said "Fuck off, I've got a new gig with a great group of guys, guys who all fuck each other's woman and don't give a shit."
He laughed, and before hanging up Axl overheard someone in the background scream out "sloppy seconds" followed by the sound of ice tinkling in a glass.
Disheartened, Axl moped around and decided to call his crazy uncle, Rob Singer, for some advice.
"Can't talk now, Axl, I'm photoshopping images to spoof some clowns on the internet," and he hung up.
Axl needed guidance, so he e-mailed The Wizard of Odds, asking "What are the odds that James will rejoin the band?"
The response: "How the fuck should I know?"
Dazed, Axl went for a long walk on a short pier with predictable results.
James soon called Axl's Cellphone and Axl politely excused himself to his room and Cake Cream agreed. He went to his room.
James amusingly asked,"Axl, what were you thinking with that awful guitar stunt at the Cake Cream show?"
Axl blushed and asked,"How did you know it was me? I was supposedly "Not there."
James amused responded,"Come on, we all have that knowing vibe between us.
Axl responded,"Yeah, we do."
James responded," Your guitar playing was hilariously cringe worthy." James laughed.
"Hey, so I'm no you, Slash, Duff, Jimmy, or Izzy. I'm a SINGER, not a Guitar God." Axl said, lightheartedly.
James responded,"Fans noticed something was off with "My," performance, James said thoughtfully.
Axl responded," You are a great lead guitarist. You and Jimmy are a phenomenal guitar playing duo, you and him are guitar playing magic."
"I really messed up my and Jimmy's deep friendship by having sex with Allison," James said thoughtfully.
"Yes, you did," Axl responded seriously. "Allison is someone you JUST met, but Jimmy is like your brother."
"I like Allison so much," James lamented.
"This would have been completely fine if Allison and you were dating first, not Jimmy and Allison.
James responded that Axl was right.
James and Axl chatted for a long while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Axl went to Jimmy and asked him how he felt about James.
Jimmy sneered and said ,"I still hate him and want to beat his ass."
Axl said, "A little birdie told me that James feels guilty over having sex with Allison."
Jimmy responded,"Is this "Little birdie's" name James?"
Axl coyly responded,"I plead the fifth," which Cake Cream knew was code for "Yes," when Axl said that.
Jimmy responded,"I'm still not ready to forgive him. He shouldn't have done that in the first place."
Axl and he chatted for a little while longer and Axl went to his room.
He remembered the hurt song he wrote about Andy's attempted betrayal and Billy liking the song and telling him he should give it to Cake Cream. He wondered if he should write it again since James hurt Jimmy really badly.
He got a paper and a pen and wrote again
"You really hurt me. I loved you like a Brother and you stabbed me in my heart. The betrayal I feel from you is soul crushing. I thought you loved me. I would never have done the unspeakable betrayal you did to me. It's always loved ones betrayal that hurts the most. This would have hurt badly if a complete stranger had done this to me, but YOU? NO! NO! NO! How could you do it? I trusted you, I lived with you, I willingly ate food and drank drinks you gave me without a moment's hesitation. The pain I feel over this is unbearable.
This hurts, this hurts real bad. Betrayal of a brother.
I would have done anything for you. I would have laid my life on the line to save yours. I would have given you my last penny if you really needed it. I'm not so sure you would have done the same thing for me after this dastardly thing you did to me. We were Friends and Brothers. How could you? How could you?
This hurts, this hurts real bad. The betrayal of a Brother.
I sometimes wonder if I should have ever met you. Had I never met you, I wouldn't be in this tortured pain right now.
This hurts, this hurts real bad. The betrayal of a Brother.
Axl showed the hurt song to Billy and Billy's eyes lit up. "That's the hurt song you wrote about Andy's attempted betrayal! You rewrote it!" Billy was happy.
Axl responded,"Yes it is. The hurt song's lyrics fit what James did to Jimmy perfectly.
Billy responded,"Yes, they do.
Axl showed the Hurt Song to Jimmy and told him he wrote the Hurt Song. Jimmy responded, "That's EXACTLY how I feel about James!"
Jimmy passed the Hurt Song to Andy and Andy blushed, remembering the attempted betrayal he tried to do to Axl and wondered if the hurt song was originally about him.
Andy responded out loud,"It's a good song."
Mike also thought it was a good song.
Cake Cream and Axl decided to make this a real song and Mike sang the song, Jimmy did bass guitar, Andy played Keyboard, and Billy did the drums. It sounded really good. But one thing was missing. James's awesome lead guitar. The song would sound phenomenal if James was the lead guitar on this song.
Jimmy didn't want to admit that the hurt song would sound phenomenal with James awesome lead guitar. He was still hurting. It was the "I know it, but I don't want to admit it," thing.
Axl wondered if he should get James to play lead guitar on the hurt song, and then go back to New York. That's really what the hurt song needed, but Jimmy would most likely kick James ass if he saw him. Axl was torn on what to do.
"Fuck it," thought Axl: "let those two sort it out."
He called James who said he'd do it if the money was right, and it was.
As James walked into the studio Jimmy attacked him with a knife, plunging it into his neck.
"Oh, shit," said James; then he died.
"Great, Jimmy; NOW where will we get a lead guitarist, once word gets out that you'll kill him if he fucks your woman? They ALL do that."
I really can't keep reading this after finding out Axl Rose is stuck in a time paradox and is dead. He did make some fine Korean BBQ before he died.
Andy asked Axl in private if The Hurt Song was originally written about him.
Axl straight up said,"Yes."
Andy replied,"But you forgave me. Why did you write that song about me?"
Axl responded,"I wrote The Hurt Song BEFORE I forgave you, not AFTER. I tore up The Hurt Song after I forgave you and wrote it again lyric for lyric for Jimmy.
Andy responded," You wrote The Hurt Song again lyric by lyric?" He was impressed.
Axl responded,"Yes,"
Andy responded,"You're a really good Songwriter," the same thing Billy had told him.
"Thank you," Axl responded. Andy welcomed him. Andy left and Axl ate a couple of slices of pizza and drank a glass of Coca Cola. The Coca Cola tasted so good that he had another glass. And then another glass. And then another glass. There were 6 2 liter bottles of Coca Cola in the huge fridge for 6 People.
Axl was drowning his Cake Cream woes in Coca Cola. Cake Cream was a fucing mess and Axl was the Captain of this mess of a ship. Axl ordered more Coca Cola from Instacart and put them in the Fridge when they arrived.
To Cake Cream he said, "This Coke is the only Coke we should be doing." Billy blushed, remembering his Cocaine he snorted not too long ago.
Axl continued,"But it's Rock And Roll nature to do Cocaine. Just remember to do Cocaine only in this house. Jimmy, Andy, and Mike all said they weren't doing Cocaine. Billy blushed again.
Andy, Mike, and Jimmy were like,"Billy, you didn't say you're not doing Cocaine!"
Billy lowered his eyes shyly.
Mike asked," Billy are you doing Cocaine?" Billy continued to look at the ground.
Mike said,"We agreed to be more open with each other," he prompted gently.
Andy and Jimmy also wanted to know.
They all straight up asked Billy if he was doing Cocaine.
Billy said,"Yes, I'm doing Cocaine."
Mike responded,"You're usually so responsible. How could you be taking Cocaine?" Andy and Jimmy also were surprised Billy had been doing Cocaine.
Billy mentioned he took Cocaine to cope with the fact that John Wilson tried to murder him twice and shot Axl multiple times.
Mike asked Axl why he wasn't surprised that Billy had been doing Cocaine. Mike asked Axl if he had already known that Billy was doing Cocaine. Andy and Jimmy also wanted to know.
Axl shyly responded he already knew Billy had been doing Cocaine. Mike, Jimmy, and Andy responded that Axl should have told them about Billy's Cocaine use. Axl responded that Billy also took Subutex so it would help him not be a drug addict.
Axl drank yet another glass of Coca Cola.
Mike responded,"Axl, you might be becoming a Coca Cola addict."
Axl responded,"Nonsense. Coca Cola is legal and isn't a drug."
Caffeine is a drug, Mike responded.
Axl responded,"But you can't be arrested for drinking Coca Cola, so it's legal."
Axl drank yet another glass of Coca Cola. He was trying hard to cope with all of the bad things happening with Cake Cream. He was using Coca Cola as a delicious coping mechanism.
Cake Cream looked at Axl worriedly. Was Axl developing a Coke problem? Soda wise that is. Axl said he wanted to go to the Mall.
Jimmy, Andy, Billy, and Mike told them they would go with him.
He then changed his story and said he was going to go to the Park. They all said they would go with him.
He then changed his story again and said he wanted to go to Claven Records. They all said they would go with him.
He then changed his story and said he wanted to go to the library. They all said they would go with him.
He then changed his story and said he was going to the beach. They all said they would go with him.
He said,"Would you guys please leave me alone? I want to go out by myself!" They reluctantly let him go out by himself.
Axl put on his bulletproof vest and a motorcycle helmet and went to McDonald's and ordered a Quarter Pounder, fries, and three large Cokes. He was eating and enjoying his meals when Jimmy came to him.
"Hey Axl," Jimmy told him in a concerned brother like way.
Jimmy, go back home and let me enjoy my meal and drinks in peace." Axl said, annoyed.
"Axl, you just bought three large Cokes just for yourself," Jimmy pointed out concerned.
"Let me live. It's just Coke drinks." Axl said defensively. He continued drinking his Cokes and eating.
Jimmy said,"Can I have the Coke drink you didn't touch?" He asked.
"Noooo!" Axl said, inhumanly. He began drinking the Coke that was previously untouched.
Jimmy responded,"I'll buy my own large Coke and a Quarter Pounder meal and I'll sit with you. Axl tried to tell him to go home, but Jimmy insisted on staying with Axl. Axl reluctantly allowed him to stay with him. Jimmy bought the Quarter Pounder meal with a large Coke. He sat with Axl and Axl and he had a nice meal, enjoying each other's company. Jimmy looked at Axl deeply.
"We all care about you, Axl."
Axl was glad that Jimmy came to see him at McDonald's.
Jimmy responded," We agreed to be more open with each other."
Axl said,"It's just that Cake Cream is falling apart. There's so much bad shait going on with our band. We used to be such a tight band, but lately, we've gone to shait. Axl continued drinking his Cokes and eating. Jimmy drank his Coke and continued eating.
They both chatted and finished eating and drinking. They went back home.
Buzzed with caffeine, Axl said "Listen up, I've an important announcement to make."
Cake Cream turned eyes front.
"Without James or a good replacement we are doomed. No new guitarist wants to join the group because of how Jimmy stabbed James for fucking his bitch of the moment. Word got around, and guitarists are nothing if not savvy about self-preservation. Therefore I am disbanding Cake Cream. It is time for all of you to return to your parent's home, reoccupy your childhood bedroom, and spend the rest of your life playing video games and immersed in social media and other online activities."
"Hey, great idea" they all cheered.
Billy asked "Can I do all the cocaine I want to?" and Axl responded "Hell yeah you can, go for it."
Andy asked "Can I piss away all of my money in the casinos and by gambling on line?"
"Of course" smiled Axl, "What's the worst thing that can go wrong?"
They cheered, and then they spontaneously honored their mgr. with a blanket toss, singing "He's a jolly good fellow" as Axl became airborne.
"Just one thing," Axl said: "Beware the Ides of March."
With that Axl snapped his fingers and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
At home, Axl took a nap on the couch. He awoke and heard Jimmy, Andy, and Mike talking to each other. He pretended to still be asleep.
Jimmy said, "Axl is addicted to Coke, the drink. Do you know he was at McDonald's and drank THREE large Cokes? He also drank 5 glasses of Coke before leaving the house."
Mike said," I don't know what's worse. Axl being hooked on Coke the drink or Billy doing Coke, the drug.
Andy said,"Obviously Billy doing Coke the drug is worse."
Jimmy said,"But Axl being hooked on Coke the drink can't be good for his health either."
Andy gently responded,"Just let Axl live. He isn't hurting anyone by drinking a lot of Coke. " Whoa. Andy sounded like Axl a little.
Jimmy said, "He's hurting himself with his Coke soda addiction."
Mike said, "We've got a Coke the drink addict and a Coke the drug addict. What should we do?"
Andy said, "But Billy is taking Subutex which will help him not be addicted to Coke. And the WORST thing that can happen to Axl with his Coke soda addiction is Diabetes. Older Axl doesn't have Diabetes so our Axl who lives with us should be fine."
Axl felt kind of good about Andy referring to him as "Our Axl."
Mike and Jimmy pointed out that Older Axl and Young Axl were two different People technically.
Andy still pointed out that Jimmy and Mike should let Axl keep drinking Coke excessively. They should leave Axl alone. It was just soda. He said Mike and Jimmy should mind their business when it came to Axl's love of Coca Cola. Did Axl possess Andy?
Jimmy and Mike playfully/half seriously asked Andy if he was possessed by Axl. They pointed out he was sounding more and more like Axl.
Andy said,"No, I'm not possessed by Axl. I just feel you guys are being judgemental when it comes to Axl's Coke drinking. It's not affecting any of us. Axl deserves to be able to drink his Coke and have fun drinking it without being judged. Axl is hard working and deserves his fun.
Axl was still pretending to be asleep but he was smiling inside at Andy sticking up for him.
Mike and Jimmy once again asked if Axl possessed Andy.
Andy said exasperated,"No, I'm not possessed by Axl. Please stop saying that. It's ridiculous."
Jimmy and Mike agreed to let the possessed questions stop and Andy thanked them and they welcomed him. They chatted for a while and went to their own rooms.
Axl had surreptitiously listened to his band mates bemoan over his high consumption of Coca-Cola: he smiled, thinking "If you only knew..."
His skin stared to itch, he started to sweat: "It's that time again" he realized.
Axl filled his syringe with Coca-Cola, prepped and found a vein, and injected himself: the itching stopped, the sweat went away and a feeling of profound peace and calm came over him.
"Ahhhh...and to think I've been foolish enough to only drink this shit for years."
Mr. V, Axl is DRINKING Coke excessively, not shooting it in his veins like Heroin! ;)
Pshaw.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Ever heard of the term "Alternate Universe?"
Axl got off the couch. He went to Billy's Room and they made out. They watched TV, snuggling with each other.
The trust and love Axl and Billy had for each other was palpable. Axl felt vulnerable and glad he was with Billy in bed.
Billy and he fell asleep.
They woke up the next morning and Jimmy, Andy, Mike, Billy and Axl ate and got ready for the day.
They went on Social Media and more and more Cakers were talking about "James's" incredibly off guitar playing at the latest Cake Cream Show.
James sounded like a Beginner. I've been following Cake Cream for years and James's guitar playing is usually beyond awesome. I can't believe he played like a Beginner the other day. That is so out of character for him One particular post said succinctly.
Cake Cream and Axl looked at each other intently knowing exactly why "James," sounded off.
Axl wondered if he should get James to come back to Cake Cream and play his beyond awesome lead guitar. But he was worried Jimmy might beat him up.
He told Jimmy his thoughts.
Jimmy acknowledged that the Fans wanted to hear James's beyond awesome lead guitar. Jimmy acknowledged that James was a phenomenal God on Guitar. He added that he was still angry and hurt by James.
Axl thought of a solution. He drew up a Contract that stated that if James came back to play his beyond awesome lead guitar, Jimmy wouldn't lay hands on James.
He had Jimmy read it and pointed out that Cakers wanted to hear James play. He pointed out they were working for the Fans.
Jimmy thought of a technical loophole and signed the Contract stating that he wouldn't lay hands on James. Axl smiled and Andy, Billy, Mike, and Axl signed as Witnesses.
Axl called James and told him the good news that Jimmy signed a Contract stating that he wouldn't lay hands on him and asked him to be at the next Cake Cream Show. James agreed.
Cake Cream and Axl chilled until the next day when a Cake Cream Show was scheduled. James flew in from New York for the Show. Jimmy glared at James and James giggled uncomfortably and nervously.
Axl said,"Jimmy, remember the Contract you signed."
Jimmy said,"Okay, Axl." Cake Cream practiced for the show and the magic of James and Jimmy's awesome guitar playing skills was was kind of back. Andy, Mike, Billy, and Axl smiled. They all put on motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests.
They went to the Venue and practiced again and sounded good. It was time for the Show.
Lots of Cakers came to see Cake Cream. Cake Cream and Axl were proud. But Axl took a precaution.
Axl said,"Anyone in Cake Cream who's birthname is James, I'm going to need you guys to play on opposite sides of the stage."
James Dobson (James) and James King(Jimmy) agreed to listen to Axl and played on opposite sides of the stage.
Cake Cream performed their set and James beyond awesome lead guitar complemented Jimmy's wonderful Bass Guitar. Cake Cream all sounded good but it was clear there was tension between Jimmy and James even with them at opposite sides of the stage. The Cakers enjoyed James being back to his beyond awesome lead guitar however. They cheered wildly.
At the final Sendoff, James and Jimmy were still at opposite sides of the stage. Fans were confused but still cheered wildly. Cake Cream did an awesome show. But then something bad happened.
Jimmy walked up to James and angrily swung his Bass Guitar hard in James's stomach with his bass guitar! James recoiled in pain. The Fans were stunned! So were Axl, James, Andy, Mike, and Billy. Jimmy had signed a legally binding Contract to not lay hands on James! How could he hit James with his Bass Guitar in his stomach?
Axl held back Jimmy again and asked him how could he hit James in the stomach with his Bass Guitar after signing the legal binding Contract forbidding him from laying hands on James.
Jimmy nastily responded,"The Contract states I am not allowed to lay hands on James. I hit James in his stomach with my Bass Guitar. I didn't lay hands on James. Technical Loophole."
Axl was like,"Damn, you're right technically. I should have stated something like,"You're not allowed to hurt James at all!"
Jimmy nastily smirked. James was stunned and Billy, Andy, and Mike tended to James who was groaning in pain. The Show was over.
Fans shook their heads in stunned confusion and left.
Axl made a command decison to end the toxic atmosphere: he fired both James and Jimmy from Cake Cream.
"No worries, boys" he told the remaining members; "before I fired those two idiots I reached out and found their replacements: Eric Clapton is our new lead guitariest, and Paul McCartney will play bass."
With that he went into his bedroom and shot up some more Coke.
"Coke is IT" he mumbled, immediately before passing out with brown foam coming out of his mouth.
In real life, firing both Guitarists from a band the same day would be highly risky. :/ And hiring Paul McCartney and Eric Clapton as replacement Guitarists? :/ Paul and Eric are old enough to be Cake Cream's GRANDPARENTS! :/ Cake Cream are all 26, Eric Clapton is 77, Paul is 80! :/Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Huh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
What does "real life" have to do with it, Tasha?
Two Axl's plus time travel equals "the unreal."
Just roll with it; maybe you can have Paul refuse to wear a helmet, that would be exciting.
Or perhaps Eric thinks the members of Cake Cream are talentless dildos and he tells them so?
I'd really like it if you had Eric rewrite his epic song "Cocaine" and call it "Coca-Cola."
Keep it coming, girl, you'll get the hang of it sooner or later.
Turns out Axl was a member of this forum and saw your comment. He destroyed all alternate universes for no reason and ours will be gone by tomorrow. The end.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVPshaw.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Ever heard of the term "Alternate Universe?"
Okay, touche. ;) In the first Fictional Axl Rose story, Axl points out that time traveling and coexisting with his Older Self and even talking with him is some Twilight Zone stuff! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterVHuh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
What does "real life" have to do with it, Tasha?
Two Axl's plus time travel equals "the unreal."
Just roll with it; maybe you can have Paul refuse to wear a helmet, that would be exciting.
Or perhaps Eric thinks the members of Cake Cream are talentless dildos and he tells them so?
I'd really like it if you had Eric rewrite his epic song "Cocaine" and call it "Coca-Cola."
Keep it coming, girl, you'll get the hang of it sooner or later.
Quote:
--->Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGrimReaper
Every Time Two Fools Collide - The Best of Kenny Rogers and Dottie West + END OF STORY.
https://anagram-solver.net/A1,%20to%...s?partial=true
Déjà vu all over again with the following entry, a couple of weeks on. A great place to finally end this stinker of a thread. (Can you believe that Tasha actually asked me to get out of her thread? Ha.)
Quote:
---> Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, With a Few Desert and Mountain Beasts + The End.Quote:
Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday
https://anagram-solver.net/Turns%20o....?partial=true
Quote:
A 1910 fantasy field guide by William Thomas Cox (1878–1961), Minnesota’s first State Forester and Commissioner of Conservation, with illustrations by Coert du Bois (1881–1960; US Consul and forester) and Latin classifications by George Bishop Sudworth (1862–1927; Chief Dendrologist of the Forest Service.) The text is a noteworthy resource on folklore, as a century after its initial publication Fearsome Creatures remains one of the principal sources on legendary creatures of the United States and Canada.
Quote:
"The lumber regions are contracting. Stretches of forest that once seemed boundless are all but gone, and many a stream is quiet that once ran full of logs and echoed to the song of the river driver. Some say that the old type of logger himself is becoming extinct. It is my purpose in this little book to preserve at least a description and sketch of some of the interesting animals which he has originated." ~ William T. Cox, Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods
*flicks off the last bit of VCT bird shit
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80 ---------------> "80 is 2222 in base 3." ---> 10*8 and 3 ---> 183, as 2 July. As well, 80 = (1 + 3^2 + 70) ---> 137(/142).
Axl continued to hold back Jimmy. "James, I'm going to have you taken to the ER to get medical attention.
James was wincing in pain and agreed to go to the ER. Axl was torn. Should he accompany James or support Jimmy? James being hit with Jimmy's guitar was his own fault. He shouldn't have had sex with Allison. He knew he was having sex with Jimmy's girlfriend. But James was in need of medical attention. He decided to tell the rest of Cake Cream to accompany James in the ER while he supported Jimmy. Andy, Mike, Billy agreed to accompany James in the ER. James was grateful that Axl was looking out for him this way and that his three brothers were going with him to the ER.
Ambulance was called for James and Axl and he said their goodbyes and Mike, Andy, and Billy were allowed to accompany James in the ambulance. Billy, Andy, and Mike also said their goodbyes to Axl and Jimmy and they said them back. Jimmy and James didn't say anything to each other understandably.
The ambulance left to take James to the ER.
Axl looked at Jimmy thoughtfully. "Hitting James in the stomach with your Guitar wasn't the right thing to do. But I understand your frustration. James did you wrong."
Jimmy responded,"I hate James so much." His voice quivered with emotion."
Axl had a feeling that Jimmy didn't REALLY hate James, he was just in a lot of pain.
"Come on, we'll have a nice boys out, just us two," Axl coaxed. Jimmy smiled.
They went to Carvel Ice cream Parlor and pigged out on Sundaes. They enjoyed hanging out.
They went back home and just chilled and watched TV and chatted.
Already the show they just did was viral. Fans were stunned at how violent Jimmy was to James. He was usually sweet and kind. Fans were wondering if James should press charges on Jimmy for Assault.
Jimmy had a look of panic in his face. "Could James press charges on me for Assault?"
Axl told him reluctantly,"Yes, he could, but right now, he's probably hopped up on painkillers and isn't thinking of pressing charges."
Jimmy relaxed a little. He hoped James wouldn't press charges on him.
There was a knock on the door; Axl opened it and saw three uniformed policemen.
"Where is Jimmy?"
Jimmy came forward: "That's me."
"You're under arrest...for murder."
Axl and Jimmy were thunderstruck.
"Murder? Who?"
"James just died in the hospital from internal bleeding" came the response.
"Book him, Danno" said a cop that looked a lot like Jack Lord, "This guy is going to have a date with the hang man."
Axl watched a somber Jimmy be led away; he then smiled, got out his cell phone, and made a call.
"Hi, Allison? It's me, Axl. You up for some loving? Cool, I'll be right over."
Just as the pendulum of life swings both ways, so does Axl.
Actually, I did write that Axl told Jimmy that James died, when he was in fact still alive, to see Jimmy's reaction, Jimmy was like,"No! I didn't want to murder James, I just wanted to hurt him! I'm going to jail for Murder!" Axl was like,""Jimmy, go to your room and watch TV. I'll protect you from the Authorities!"Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Jimmy went to his room and watched TV. Billy called Axl and told him James was incoherent and on multiple painkillers. Axl told Billy,"I told Jimmy that James died and he is incredible agony, so he doesn't hate James." Billy was like,"Telling Jimmy that James died when he is still alive was an incredible douchebag move of you to do to Jimmy! " Axl was like,"Jimmy's agonized reaction proves he doesn't hate James, so Mission accomplished," but I thought that would be incredibly mean of Axl to say, so I erased the entire "Axl lies and tells Jimmy that James died just to see Jimmy's reaction."
Also, Axl would never just sit there and allow Jimmy to be arrested and not go with him to the Police Station. He'd definitely go with Jimmy. Also Axl would never cheat on Billy, especially with the same Woman that caused James and Jimmy to fight. He wouldn't betray Billy, James, or Jimmy by having sex with Allison too.
Jimmy and Axl chatted for a long while and Jimmy fell asleep. Axl called Billy and asked how James was holding up.
Billy said," James is on multiple painkillers and is incoherent. The doctors are working hard on him."
Axl replied, "Hopefully he makes a full recovery quickly."
Billy replied,"I hope so too. Billy added,"How is Jimmy?"
Axl replied,"Jimmy is... Jimmy is..... He hesitated.
"Go on," Billy coaxed him.
Axl answered,"Jimmy is worried that James is going to press charges on him for Assault."
Billy was appalled. THAT'S what Jimmy cares about and not how James's health is? He hit him in the stomach with his Bass Guitar for God's sakes!"
Axl replied,"Yeah, I know. "
Billy replied,"Jimmy is being incredibly selfish in this situation."
Hmm. I don't know. Jimmy is just REALLY hurt. He says he hates James but I feel he is just really mad at him. Axl responded. James broke Jimmy's heart by sleeping with Allison."
Billy responded,"But he could have more remorse and compassion for James."
Axl said,"I know."
Billy added, " I love you." Billy made kissing noises over the phone, the implication clear. Axl happily blushed and said,"I love you too," and gave him kisses over the phone right back.
They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Jimmy soon woke up.
Axl looked at him deeply.
"I spoke to Billy and Billy told me that James is on multiple painkillers and is incoherent. Doctors are working hard on him. "
Jimmy coldly replied,"James wouldn't be in this mess if he didn't have sex with Allison."
Axl was appalled at Jimmy's nonchalant response to this.
Jimmy, you landed James in the ER! Have more compassion and remorse!"
Jimmy replied, "What compassion did James have for me when he had sex with Allison? He knew Allison was my girlfriend and he still went into her on purpose. She's not much better. She let him go in her knowing I was her boyfriend and he was one of my brothers. I hate them both so much." Jimmy cried angry tears. It was obvious the pain he was in over this.
Axl comforted him, wiping away his angry tears. Jimmy smiled back.
Jimmy held his smile and thought "One down, one to go..."
"Axl, I've got to go confess my sins to a priest" said Jimmy as he dressed and grabbed the keys to his Vespa.
"But Jimmy, you're Jewish."
Out the door Jimmy went; he putted the several miles to Allison's hovel and approached her front door.
Clever lad; before ringing her doorbell he put on latex gloves and protective booties.
When she opened the door he floored her with a right uppercut, entered her squalid lair and slammed the door.
He dragged her unconscious body to the bath tub, got knives from her kitchen and over the course of several hours he flensed and deboned her like mad Ahab did back in the day.
"Ah, that feels better" mused Jimmy as he viewed his handiwork.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
"Now, time to eat..."
Jimmy went to his room. Axl decided to call Mike and ask him to watch Jimmy while he visited James. He wanted to visit James but didn't want to leave Jimmy by himself.
Mike said,"Sure. I'll go home now and we'll make the switch."
Axl smiled.
He didn't tell Jimmy his plan, just let Jimmy watch TV in his room.
Soon, Mike came over and they amicably chatted and made the switch. Axl went to the hospital and went to James's room.
James looked disoriented and drunk. He was babbling incoherently. He was hopped up on multiple painkillers like Billy said.
Billy and Andy were happy that Axl was there.
Billy and Andy pointed out that James was in bad shape. James barely even knew what was going on. Axl could see that. He felt sorry for James. The Doctors were working hard on James. James slipped into a Coma.
"Nooooooooooo!" Axl cried horrified!
Billy and Andy were also horrified!
The Doctors told Andy, Billy, and Axl that they had to leave the room since they weren't James's Family.
Axl, Billy, and Andy claimed they were James's Brothers. Billy and Axl looked at each other and blushed realizing they just called each other Brothers. Andy blushed too.
Billy and Axl said that Billy, Andy, and James were Brothers. Billy and Axl said that they(Billy and Axl) weren't Brothers. Andy backed them up. The Doctors smirked knowingly, thinking about the speculation that Billy and Axl were Boyfriends.
Axl and Billy straight up told the Doctors that they were Boyfriends and begged them not to tell anyone.
The Doctors responded,"We had a deep feeling you guys were Boyfriends. We're not going to tell anyone. "
Axl and Billy thanked the Doctors and they welcomed them.
Axl, Andy, and Billy begged the Doctors to not kick them out. Axl even offered the Doctors 50 million to let them stay. Andy and Billy also offered 50 Million each to let them all stay. The Doctors were touched and told them to keep their 150 million, they'll allow them to all stay without paying 150 million. Axl, Jimmy, and Andy were relieved.
The Doctors worriedly exclaimed that they were losing James.
"Nooooooooooo!" Axl, Billy and Andy claimed in horrified unison!
Axl had a radical idea. He said,"I want you guys to use the thing that you say,"Clear!" With for James.
The Doctors said,"You mean the Defibrillator."
Axl said,"Yes, that's what I mean. James needs to be shocked awake."
The Doctors brought out the Defibrillator, that was ready but were hesitant to use the Defibrillator on James.
Axl emotionally said," James only has about 5 minutes left to live! Please Doctors, James doesn't want or deserve to die, especially at only 26! Please save him! Billy and Andy also begged The Doctors to save James's life.
Axl kept emotionally pleading for them to save James's life.
The Doctors were still hesitant to use the Defibrillator on James.
Axl emotionally said,"I'll do it, Goddamn it!" And went to the Defibrillator. The Doctors tried to stop him, but he refused to listen. He brought the Defibrillator close to James, said,"Clear!" Waited a minute for everyone else to back away from James, and then put the paddles on James, giving him the much needed shock to wake up.
James woke up.
The Doctors were amazed that this Music Manager, Axl Rose from Guns N'Roses, who was not a trained medical professional was able to shock James back to life.
James was still incoherent, but at least he was out of his Coma.
Axl smiled at James. Andy and Billy smiled too.
The Doctors seriously told Axl that using the Defibrillator on someone who was hopped up on multiple painkillers could have negative consequences, which is why they were hesitant to use the Defibrillator on James. Axl was just glad James was no longer in a Coma. He did worry about the negative consequences.
They said that they would have to monitor James VERY closely to see if the Defibrillator caused any negative consequences on James.
Axl, Billy, and Andy prayed for James to be okay. James had a mini seizure, but the Doctors were able to stabilize him.
The mini seizure was the only negative consequence that happened and was over very quickly. The Doctors were amazed that Axl saved James's life with the Defibrillator and the only negative consequence was the mini seizure that was over quickly.
Axl. full of himself now, asked Billy to come closer; he did, and Axl zapped him with the paddles.
Billy dropped like a rock, but soon arose and started speaking in a language none of them recognized .
He looked at his clothing with a puzzled look on his face.
Billy took a pen and paper and drew what seemed to be a haute couture ESL cocktail dress, emphatically pointing to the dress and then to himself.
Axl understood: he left and purchased a fancy dress in Billy's size at a nearby consignment shop.
Billy loved it, and Axl felt himself become tumescent at the sight of Billy in the dress.
Thiings were getting complicated now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4qAaRXnbck
Axl, Andy, and Billy were relieved that James was out of the Coma. But were worried about his incoherent babbling.
Axl sat in a chair, thinking about the mess Cake Cream became. This was not the Cake Cream he signed up for when he chose to become their Manager. He had thoughts of wanting out of this "Bakery," but knew he was tied to them.
In the hospital room, Annie 2014 was playing and Little Girls was playing. Colleen's frustrations with the Little Girls mirrored Axl's frustrations with Cake Cream. The "Get me out of here! And I'm done with Little Girls (Cake Cream) , the "I'm stuck in a cage with all these rats, and I want to tear my hair out, ""Everywhere I turn I can see them," and the "I eat sleep and breathe Little Girls (Cake Cream) spoke to Axl succinctly. Axl wanted off the Cake Cream ship. But he was stuck because of the Contract he signed to be their Manager. Cake Cream felt more of a Burden to him at this point than Assets. Billy and Andy fell asleep.
Axl called Older Axl and when Older Axl responded,"Axl cried,"I can't take it anymore! I can't do this anymore!" He was crying.
Older Axl worriedly said,"Axl, what's going on?"
Axl through a lot of hysterical tears told Older Axl his frustrations with Cake Cream. He said,"Cake Cream is driving me crazy!" He was close to a mental breakdown.
Older Axl calmly said,"You're a good Manager for Cake Cream. They love and trust you."
Axl said,"Thanks for the warm words, but I just want to leave Cake Cream and just run away!" He cried more.
Older Axl said," You know what? Why don't you take a nice couple of days and just relax? You deserve to be able to relax for a couple of days. I can take care of Cake Cream for you."
Axl was grateful at Older Axl's offer and he gratefully accepted. Older Axl welcomed him. They made plans for Older Axl to switch with Younger Axl today.
Older Axl came to the hospital while Billy and Andy were still asleep and they chatted and made the switch. Axl left the hospital, grateful Older Axl could take care of Cake Cream for him while he went on a much needed mini vacation. Axl took a LYFT to the mall and bought some clothes and other toiletries and then went to the Airport and booked a last minute flight to California and went to the Marriott and went to the front desk to make a last minute booking.
The Front Desk Clerk said, in awe, "You're Axl Rose!"
Axl blushed and admitted he was Axl Rose.
The Clerk asked, "Where is Cake Cream?"
Axl said,"I left them in Older Axl's care and fled to California."
The Front Desk Clerk smiled and said,"You wanted a little getaway just for yourself, right?"
Axl responded,"Yep. I wanted a little getaway for myself, by myself."
The Clerk smiled and booked a room for him. He graciously thanked the Clerk and was welcomed. He went to his room and settled in. He ordered Room Service and paid and ate it. He chilled, enjoying his stay at this hotel.
Exhausted, he got under the soft covers and soon fell asleep.
He was awoken hours later with the sensation of myriad bites; kicking off the covers Axl saw he and the bedding were swarming with bedbugs.
Axl tried to call the front desk but there was no answer.
Remembering a folk remedy, Axl (a heavy smoker) doused himself and the linen with lighter fluid, believing that would kill the vermin.
He reflexively lit up a cigarette, having forgotten about the presence of flammable fluid, and instantly he was ablaze, with the bedding igniting as well.
As he was being burned alive he stopped screaming, remembering how impressed he was with a Zen story:
Eshun's Departure
When Eshun, the Zen nun, was past sixty and about to leave this world, she asked some monks to pile up wood in the yard.
Seating herself firmly in the center of the funeral pyre, she had it set fire around the edges.
"O nun!" shouted one monk, "is it hot in there?"
"Such a matter would concern only a stupid person like yourself," answered Eshun.
The flames arose, and she passed away.
Axl's phone rang and it was Billy.
Billy asked ,"Why is Older Axl at the hospital with us and not you?"
Axl responded reluctantly,"I just wanted to get away by myself for a few days."
Billy said,"You just left us suddenly, didn't even say goodbye." He sounded sad.
Axl responded,"I just needed a much needed break and besides, Older Axl is with you, so technically, I'm still with you."
Billy responded,"Older Axl and us don't have the same relationship with each other as you and we do."
"Axl responded,"I was just feeling overwhelmed and stressed out."
Billy responded,"You still love us, don't you?"
Axl responded,"Are you talking about our personal relationship or my Cake Cream Brothersship in general?"
Billy responded,"I am talking about both."
Axl responded,"I still love both."
Billy responded,"Good. I love you in a relationship way and Cake Cream loves you in a Brotherish way too."
Axl smiled and he and Billy chatted for a bit.
Axl asked,"How is James?"
Billy answered, "He's a lot better. He is speaking with a lot of sense now. Speaking a lot more normal. Is a lot more aware about what's going on."
Axl felt a huge sense of relief wash over him.
"Thank God," Axl responded, relieved.
Billy was relieved too. Billy said,"The Doctors say he might be home in a couple of days.
Axl said,"That makes me happy!"
Billy responded,"I'm happy too."
Axl then had an awful thought, "James can't go home with Jimmy still being pissed off at him. He'll most likely hit him again and land him in the hospital again!"
Billy responded,"Yeah, you're right.
Axl said,"Maybe I can get Older Axl to let James live with him for a while."
Billy responded,"Older Axl's pretty busy with Guns N'Roses. I'm not so sure Older Axl will have time to have James living with him. "
Axl responded,"Hmm. Maybe if I BEG Older Axl to let James live with him, he'll see how desperate I am to have him protect James."
Billy said,"Asking Older Axl to let James live with him is a risky question."
Axl replied," If he says no, I can always let James live in a homeless Shelter," Axl said with a hail Mary offer, knowing that Billy wouldn't want James, one of his Brothers, living in a homeless Shelter.
"No!" Billy said desperately. "I don't want James living in a homeless Shelter! "
Axl smiled, knowing Billy wouldn't want James living in a homeless Shelter. His feelings were right.
Billy and Axl chatted seriously about getting Older Axl to let James live with him. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Billy who was with Older Axl asked him how he felt about letting James live with him.
Older Axl responded, "I'm not so sure it's a good idea to let James live with me when I am going to do multiple Guns N'Roses Shows. Billy had also originally said that to Axl.
Older Axl called Axl.
Axl picked up.
Older Axl said,"A little Birdie asked me if James could live with me for a while."
Axl responded,"Please? I mean, James needs to be protected from Jimmy and you're the perfect person to help him out. And besides, you agreed to watch James," Axl tried guilt tripping Older Axl.
Older Axl said,"I agreed to watch Cake Cream for a couple of days while you relaxed on a much needed break for yourself. Not have James live with me for a while." Older Axl said matter of factly.
Axl begged him,"Please? Please? Please? Please?"
Older Axl lightheartedly said," You sound like a desperate dog. I'll do it because I can see how desperate you are for me to protect James from Jimmy and because we're close Family Members."
Axl thanked Older Axl and Older Axl welcomed him. Billy wasn't listening to this conversation. Older Axl had walked away from him.
Older Axl and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Older Axl called him back, saying "I changed my mind, too much drama," and he hung up.
A light bulb then went off in Axl's head; he realized that James was now a multi-millionaire, thanks to the Craven Records payout, and there was no need for him to live in a homeless shelter.
Axl contacted James at the hospital; they discussed James being discharged later that day and how he'd rent a house temporarily through Airbnb: James agreed to participate in reunification counseling with Jimmy, all in aid of making amends and rejoining Cake Cream.
"Problem solved," mused Axl.
Alas, he was oh, so very wrong...
Upon discharge James was obsessed with only one thought: revenge upon Jimmy and Cake Cream, whom he felt betrayed him.
Taking a cue from news stories he'd been reading online and in the papers, he rented a white 2015 Hyundai Elantra from Rent-A-Wreck, bought a USMC logo-ed K-bar knife at an Army surplus outfit, and latex gloves from Wal-Mart.
Then he waited for night to fall...
Night fell.
Axl watched porn in his California hotel room, blissfully unaware of the drama about to unfold on the other side of the country where all the members of Cake Cream had gathered for a night of frivolity.
The band members got hammered on booze, weed, and kratom, then went to sleep.
During the darkest part of the night James parked his car a block away, put on his latex gloves, grabbed his K-bar and stealthily snuck over to the house where Cake Cream were ensconced.
Oh so carefully he pried open the screen door and crept in on cat's feet; he was a man with a plan.
Hold up who’s this Billy dude?
Are you trying to tell me Axl loves the cock?
Tasha's narrative has Axl having a time machine and discovering a doppelganger who is bi.
I don't get the idea that "old" Axl is a pole smoker however.
Hey, this is a running narrative, jump in and pen a few lines, it's fun, sort of like a sloppy hot tub party.
In the end "it don't mean nothin."
Axl chilled for a couple of days by himself in his much needed break from Cake Cream.
He enjoyed his mini break from them.
James had improved even more and had been discharged from the hospital. Older Axl in the ride home told James to turn off his Location so that Jimmy couldn't trace his Location. James did. He took James to his house.
Older Axl said," I get a new Roommate for a while." He smiled, kind of like the weird looking smile Young Axl had when they had done the Demo without telling him about it.
James said, "I hope I won't be a burden to you." He looked at the ground.
Older Axl said, "It's just that I wasn't exactly expecting a new Roommate now."
James said, "Thank you for allowing me to be your Roommate for a while." Older Axl welcomed him.
Older Axl looked at him even deeper. "You really shouldn't have had sex with Allison."
James looked at the ground and acknowledged he shouldn't have had sex with Allison.
Older Axl said,"I'm going to go get ready for a Guns N'Roses Show. Please behave yourself and make yourself at home."
James smiled and Older Axl got ready for the Guns N'Roses Show. He told James goodbye and James said it back to him. He left.
Allison called James and asked about her and James budding relationship. James said,"I like you, but I can't hurt Jimmy even more than I already did by dating you. I can't date you."
Allison said,"That sucks, I like you, and you like me, but I respect your decision not to date me. Goodbye."
James repeated it too. They both hung up.
James wanted to date Allison but knew dating her would not be okay. James settled in and fell asleep.
Axl called his phone and asked how he was doing.
He responded that he just ended Allison and his budding relationship out of respect of not hurting Jimmy even more.
Axl responded,"I'm proud of you ending your budding relationship with Allison in order to not hurt Jimmy even more."
James responded,"Thank you." Axl welcomed him. Axl asked how he was physically after his hospital stay.
James responded,"I'm holding up well, just chilling in Older Axl's house. Safe from Jimmy. Luckily Older Axl is allowing me to live with him for a while.
Axl didn't know if he should tell him that James living with Older Axl was his idea and he begged Older Axl to let him live with him.
He decided not to. He didn't want to cause James to resent Older Axl or something.
James and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.
Axl had implanted an app in James' phone that allowed him to monitor and review its contents at any time without James knowing about it.
Curious as to his true state of mind, he used the app to search for the most recent pictures or videos that James took / created.
Axl's mouth dropped when he saw a video James had just posted: it showed James fucking a dog!
"So, he's into rufffff sex, eh?" mused Axl; "I've got him by the balls now, and it's time to squeeze."
He called James, told him what he'd just seen, and threatened to expose James' fetish for bestiality if he didn't rejoin Cake Cream and apologize profusely to Jimmy.
James surprised Axl when he said "Fuck you Axl, I have a video of you jerking off in a church confessional."
Check mate.
Axl checked out of the California Marriott and flew back to Florida and then took a LYFT home. Andy, Billy, Mike, and Jimmy were happy to have him back home. He smiled back at them.
He unpacked and Billy and he went to Axl's room and made out passionately. Then they both took naps. Claven Records called Axl's Cellphone and he woke up.
Claven Records said that Fans wanted to see them perform at the James L Knight Center again. Axl pointed out that James wasn't with them as Jimmy and James had to be separated.
Jimmy can be the sole bass guitar," Claven Records said matter of factly.
Axl reluctantly agreed.
Claven Records were satisfied. They chatted for a little while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Axl informed Cake Cream that Fans wanted to see them perform tomorrow at the James L Knight Center.
Cake Cream wanted to chill tomorrow, not perform.
Axl pointed out once again that they were working for the Fans. Cake Cream reluctantly agreed to perform tomorrow at the James L Knight Center.
Axl smiled and they practiced.
The next day, they went to the James L Knight Center for the Show. They practiced and then the Show started. Cake Cream minus James were doing the set wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and performing behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers. Cops came to arrest Jimmy for assaulting James at the last Cake Cream show! There was obviously a break. Jimmy and Axl had a short chat where Jimmy promised to allow the Cops to peacefully arrest him.
Axl begged the Cops to at least let Cake Cream finish their set as these Fans paid to see Cake Cream perform and he promised Jimmy would peacefully allow them to arrest him and wouldn't run away or fight them or anything like that. Jimmy agreed. The Cops said they would allow Cake Cream to finish performing. Axl and Jimmy thanked them. They were welcomed.
Cake Cream continued the show. They were really good. They did a final sendoff to wild cheering. The show was over. The Cops put handcuffs on Jimmy, who didn't resist. They put him in a Cop car. They drove him to the Police Station. Axl and the rest of Cake Cream went to the Police Station too to support Jimmy. Jimmy was booked and his Bail was $100,000 and his Court Date would be in two days. Axl paid his bail for him and he was free to go until his Court Date. Jimmy thanked Axl for paying his bail and he welcomed him. They went back home. Already Jimmy's arrest went viral. There were reports that Jimmy was kicking and screaming, fighting his arrest wildly like a rabid dog. That wasn't the case at all.
Cake Cream and Axl shook their heads at this knowing that Jimmy surrendered peacefully.
Jimmy hired the best attorney around, Mr. X, to defend him on the assault charge; the five million dollar fee, a pittance to Jimmy now, was paid up front.
Unbeknownst to Jimmy Mr. X was a degenerate gambler who when he wasn't embezzling client funds was posting on gambling forums in order to "scratch the itch."
Mr. X did not appear at Jimmy's arraignment.
It was soon discovered that he'd closed his office, vacated his apartment, and disappeared.
Rumor had it he was in Las Vegas, but in fact he was losing it all at his favorite tribal casino, fully comped.
The denouement was a gunshot coming from Mr. X's oceanfront room late at night.
A life well lived taken down by false hope.