Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tasha

Cake Cream won 6 Grammys in a single night, had three albums go to number one in less than two months, and are the wealthiest Band in the world. They wouldn't be in the Guinness World Records for Most Irrelevant Band ever. ;)

---

The audience for popular music is very fickle, Tasha: they will turn on you in a heartbeat.

For example, remember Tiny Tim?

Hero one day, laughing stock the next.

Or how about Vanilla Ice?

Irrelevancy happens.

You yourself recently wrote how quickly they became irrelevant when a new band eclipesed them; what, are you saying you lied?

Are you a big fat liar?

---

Cake Cream was only irrelevant for only like TWO days and went right back to being highly successful and famous. ;) In my story it was implied that only being irrelevant for a couple of days is no big deal. ;)

Vanilla Ice is a two hit Wonder, not nearly as successful as a band who won 6 Grammys, had 3 number one albums in less than two months, and was the Wealthiest Band in the world, even surpassing The Beatles financially. The Beatles started out about 59 years ago. Cake Cream started in 2022 and are already wealthier than The Beatles. ;)

Edit. The reason Wild Guns briefly became more relevant than Cake Cream is because Wild Water is the New Guns N'Roses, not Cake Cream. Axl went around promoting Cake Cream as the New Guns N'Roses, so naturally, People thought Cake Cream was the New Guns N'Roses, but they are not. Wild Water is. So, naturally, when it was said that Wild Water was actually the new Guns N'Roses, People naturally flocked to Wild Water. But Cake Cream is BETTER than Wild Water. So, naturally, Cake Cream came back on top after a couple of days of irrelevancy . :)

Tasha, I gotta tell ya: Cake Cream is beyond irrelevant, they are passe'.

All thanks to you.

Wild Water has thoroughly kicked their ass to the homeless curb with their unique combination of break beats, dubbed vocals and tuneful queefs.

Nobody listens to Cake Cream any more; well, maybe a few old folks homes pipe their tunes in to entertain their nearly dead residents, but that's it.

Their implosion into irrelevance is the lead story this month in Rolling Stone magaizine:




Read it and weep.

Billy had a successful solo career recording his cabbage toots and sealing them in custom made jars that played the recording when the lid was opened.

Cake Cream had won 500 Million each from the Brandon Records thing and they were worth 2.5 Billion at the time just from that. They each gave Axl 100 Million for being such a good Friend and Manager to them, so they were still worth 2 billion just from the Brandon Records thing. Before the Brandon Records thing, Cake Cream were worth about 100 Million each, or 500 Million combined. With Bronze Cake, each Cake Cream Member got at least 50 million each. So they, combined still were worth at least 2.5 Billion. Wow! They were the wealthiest Music Band in the World in only their 20's!



Guinness World Records put Cake Cream as the Wealthiest Music Band in the world. They even surpassed The Beatles, who are worth about 2.2 Billion.



Cake Cream and Axl were excited! Cake Cream were now officially in the Guinness World Records! WOW! Funny how life turned out. Cake Cream once again, went from being kind of unknown earlier this year to being really successful and very wealthy, and are now a part of History as a part of Guinness World Records.



Cake Cream were wondering if they should start charging more for Cake Cream tickets now that they were the Wealthiest Band in the world. They wondered if they should charge $500 a ticket now.



Axl shook his head. Remember, we made a promise to NEVER raise Cake Cream tickets. We PROMISED that we would ALWAYS charge $25 a ticket. We have to honor our PROMISE.



Cake Cream reluctantly agreed to keep their promise to NEVER raise Cake Cream ticket prices. Axl smiled. In an interesting thing, on Social Media, there were lots of Cakers who mentioned how grateful they were that a Cake Cream ticket was only $25 and would be only $25 for good. They mentioned they loved how cheap it was, especially with inflation.



Axl gave Cake Cream meaningful looks.



Cake Cream were like," Okay, Axl, you're right."



Axl smiled again. Life was good.



John Wilson was incarcerated in another State, Axl's Band, Cake Cream, were the Wealthiest Music Band in the world, they were wildly successful, he himself was worth about 700 Million. He had these 4 Cake Cream Brothers and a Cake Boyfriend who loved him dearly and vice versa. Axl was glad he decided to stay with Cake Cream and vice versa.

Axl needed a few hundred million to help get Trump elected, so he called his CPA.

He'd previously given his and all of Cake Cream's full power of attorney to the CPA to manage their money; they preferred to spend their time smiling, shaking hands, and thanking each other for being who they thought they were.

Uh oh: he was informed that the line was now a non-working number.

Axl hopped on his Vespa and putted to the CPA's "office," which was really a stall in a neighbor's cow barn: Bessie was there chewing her cud but the CPA was now MIA.

Axl asked farmer Brown where the CPA was, and the farmer hitched up his ovealls, chewed on some straw and said "He moved out. Said something about 'Suckers are born every minute.'"

Distraught, Axl went to the bank where the CPA had entrusted all of their funds and soon learned all the accounts had been closed, the money was gone.

Axl smiled, shook the teller's hand and chilled in the bank lobby for a few minutes, then he went to DQ for a strawberry blizzard: it was tasty.

Fortified, he returned home to tell Cake Cream the news, but upon entering they all swarmed him, blowing party horns and sand "Happy Birthday, Axl" in perfect harmony.

Axl smiled, shook their hands, thanked them and then chilled: they passed around their bong and got wasted: the bad news could wait, partying had priority.

They grooved to Wild Water's latest hit and smiled beatifically.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Axl had a bad feeling, so he called his CPA.

He'd previously given his and all of Cake Cream's full power of attorney to the CPA to manage their money; they preferred to spend their time smiling, shaking hands, and thanking each other for being who they thought they were.

Uh oh: the line was a non-working number.

Axl hopped on his Vespa and putted to the CPA's "office," which was really a stall in a neighbor's cow barn: Bessie was there chewing her cud but the CPA was now MIA.

Axl asked farmer Brown where the CPA was, and the farmer hitched up his ovealls, chewed on some straw and said "He moved out. Said something about "Suckers are born every minute."

Distraught, Axl went to the bank where the CPA had entrusted all of the funds and soon learned all the accounts had been closed, the money was gone.

Axl smiled, shook the teller's hand and chilled in the bank lobby for a few minutes, then he went to DQ for a strawberry blizzard.

Fortified, he returned home to tell Cake Cream the news, but upon entering they all swarmed him, blowing party horns and sand "Happy Birthday, Axl" in perfect harmony.

Axl smiled, shook their hands, and chilled: the news could wait, partying had priority.

---

Actually, Axl has sole Power Of Attorney over Cake Cream, he didn't give Power Of Attorney to anyone else. ;) Cake Cream and Axl's money is in Ocean Bank Accounts. ;)

Also, Axl's birthday was in February before he ever time traveled. He time traveled in April. ;)

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

Get with the program.

When the weed was all gone and the band members were close to nodding out, Axl told them how all their money had been felonioulsly purloined by their bent accountant, and that the CPA and all of their money had disappeared: they were now broke.

It turns out the timing of his announcement was perfect, as all the members of Cake Cream were too high to grasp its significance.

"Far out" said Billy, as he reached for some Oreos.

"Cool" and "Whatever" said two other band members while grabbing for slices of non-contact pizza.

Axl realized that when they recovered their wits they'd blame him for this, so he made the most crucial managerial decision of his life: he would make certain they never recovered their wits.

He went to the ghetto and bought more weed plus a shit load of fentanyl, brought it back, mixed it together, stuffed it in the bong and voila', before you know it the band members were fentanyl junkies.

Axl smiled, shook their hands, and they thanked him.

Axl awoke in a panic. He struggled to open his eyes but they were glued shut with mucous. He tried moving his arms and legs, but the best he could manage was wiggling a few fingers. His skin burned with cold and his heart raced. Vaguely he remembered where he was: submerged in water in an isolation tank. He found his voice and called out for help, but his voice cracked and faltered. Calm down he told himself. You signed up for this. Once they realize you're awake they'll get you out.

Five minutes later he heard the loud creaking of the chamber's doors being opened. The bright lights of the lab at once blinded Axl but he smiled nonetheless. What a wild ride.

"How you doing Axl?" the hot young lab tech, Judith, said as she reached her arm in to help Axl out of the chamber. "You were in there for exactly 38 hours and 56 minutes. That's a lab record!"

Axl blushed happily. He couldn't wait to tell Judith the hot lab tech and the lab's principal investigator, Dr. Tashathan, what he had experienced in there. It had been the most incredible, immersive fever dream. He had somehow dreamed in two consciousnesses at once: as himself in the current year and as his 23 year old self from the past. There had also been shitty tribute bands, document signings, men in penis costumes, tribal casinos, and lots of hand shaking.

Dr. Tashathan entered and rushed over to Axl, still naked and dripping wet. She had brought food and a change of clothes, but when she saw his erect member, she was overcome with a hunger all her own.

"Judith, would you please give us a moment?" Dr. Tashathan barked. Judith understood what was about to go down and furtively exited the lab, locking the door behind her.

Axl started, "Dr. Tashathan you are not going to believe what I dreamed about in your isolation tank, it was like---" but Dr. Tashathan cut him off.

"Not another word hot stuff." She ripped off her bodice and went to town on his knob. Axl was dazed and delighted. The BJ was even better than the ones he had dreamed of receiving from Nathan, the man in the penis costume. The beej relaxed him to the point where he could not help but release several cubic feet of hot eggy gas from betwixt his hirsute ass cheeks. The aroma hit Dr. Tashathan's nostrils and her eyes rolled in pleasure. Yes, dear reader, Dr. Tashathan was about to climax from the smell of Axl's fart.

Axl smiled, shook her hand, thanked her profusely for the hummer and then left the immersion clinic with a spring in his step and herpes simplex coursing through his blood.

Whoa, what a weird day or two it had been.

His band had been in Miami for a gig at Mar-a-Lago for Trump, and getting blown by the lab tech eclipsed the joy he'd felt when shaking Trump's fat paw; could his life get any better?

On a whim he ubered to the nearest casino and plopped his aged rear end in a urine stained chair: time to play Double Diamond, his favorite game.

Soon after he started the bells went off: he'd hit the jackpot !

That was when he first noticed the non-descript lady sitting next to him: she clapped her hands together, saying "Bravo, bravo" and then said "So, now you can afford to buy me a drink, yes?"

Axl studied her: frumpy, chunky, and with a hideous hand bag; "Uh, I'll pass; I just got sucked off at the immersion clinic."

But then he smiled, shook her hand, thanked her and left to get a strawberry blizzard at DQ.

She sighed, then went on to lose that month's rent money.

Axl said to Cake Cream,"It's so good that we have a combined net worth of at least 3 Billion. "He smiled. Cake Cream smiled back at him.



They watched the News and....Brian Washington claimed he was suing Cake Cream for 50 Million each for not stopping Axl from punching him in his face and breaking his Camera.



Cake Cream and Axl were incredulous.



Cake Cream were like,"Brian Washington is trying to sue us AGAIN?



Axl shook his head. "He can't sue you guys. He signed a legally binding Contract that states he is NEVER allowed to ask you guys for money after getting the $200,000. I can't believe he's trying to sue you guys again.



Brian Washington gave a rakish, nasty smile and showed the News his copy of the Contract.



Axl had signed his name as Axl Rose on the Contract and not W. Axl Rose, his full legal name. Oops. Technical Loophole. Brian could sue Cake Cream for 50 Million.



Cake Cream were like,"Uh, there's no way that Brian Washington could sue us, right? Axl gave them chagrined looks.



"Yes, he could sue you guys. I didn't sign my full legal name. Cake Cream were worried.



Axl said,"This is my fault, I'll take care of it"



Cake Cream trusted him, tentatively.



Axl sent each of them 50 Million each from his own Bank Account for them to pay Brian Washington.



Brian Washington said he was suing them in two days. Cake Cream were grateful that Axl rectified his mistake by giving them 50 Million each in order to pay off Brian Washington.



Axl and Cake Cream hatched a plan together. They did a Cake Cream show the next day and were really good. Fans cheered wildly.



On the Court Date, Axl and Cake Cream showed up early. They didn't even need Lawyers for this. Cake Cream would just pay Brian Washington the 50 Million each.



Soon, Brian Washington showed up with a Lawyer. The Court was in Session soon.



Brian gave Cake Cream and Axl cool smirks and was like,"Nice to see you guys," Cake Cream and Axl gave mocking sneers back.



Brian's Lawyer said that Brian was entitled to the 50 Million each from Cake Cream because Axl didn't sign his full legal name.



Axl had drawn up a Contract that said,"I, Brian Dean Washington promise to NEVER sue or ask James Mitchell Dobson, William Anderson Parks, Andrew Tyson McCall, James Patrick King, Michael Alexander Thompson, no one in Guns N'Roses, W. Axl Rose, Axl Rose, for money after getting 50 Million each. Axl showed Brian Washington the Contract and Brian read, understood, agreed and signed, being excited over the very near prospect of being $250 Million richer. Cake Cream also signed all of their full names. The Judge allowed Axl to sign his legal name, W. Axl Rose as Witness even though he drew up the Contract. Cake Cream all Zelled Brian $ 50 Million each. Brian was happy to be $250 Million richer. Brian paid his Lawyer. The Court was adjourned shortly. Cake Cream and Axl went home.

Nathasha, a deranged gold-digging gambling addict, had a plan.

She'd watched most of the vapid, inane courtroom farce and decided she'd take advantage of Axl's stupidity / generosity.

She left while the case was ongoing and went into a stall in the ladies' room and burned the top of her hand with her Bic lighter; she thought it smelled better than crack.

Then she bought a cup of coffee from the court vendor and waited outside the courtroom for her big opportunity.

It arrived.

As Axl walked out, smiling, shaking hands, and dreaming about eating a DQ strawberry blizzard Nathasha walked perpendicular to and in front of him, timing it so they collided.

In doing so the hot coffed spilled onto her previously burned hand.

"Argh ! You burned me !" she screamed, emoting as a damsel in distress.

"Oh my god ! Let me see."

Axl saw the second and third degree burns and his mouth dropped.

"I will sue you for billions !" wailed the black scam artist; "I am a professional gambler, a slot AP, and now I cannot ply my trade ever again ! Woe is me !"

Quick on his feet, Axl asked if they could settle without going to court; she said yes and Axl agreed to pay her $100 Million for her troubles; they agreed to uber to his bank for the cash payment.

While walking alone down the court house hallway stairs side by side Axl violently pushed her; she went down head over heals, breaking her greedy neck in the process.

Axl smiled, shook her limp hand, and thanked her for dying.

Later, while eating his strawberry blizzard at DQ, Axl smiled, shook his own hand and thanked himself for being proactive.

As Axl exited the courthouse, he laughed that nobody had caught on to the fact that his real legal last name was in fact Evita, not Rose or Bailey, and that he had legally removed William and Bruce from his legal name ages ago. Newly financially liberated Axl Evita headed once again toward DQ, this time to get an Oreo Blizzard. Killing that rando in the courthouse stairwell had worked up an appetite, and his undiagnosed diabetes demon was moaning for more sugar.

Sitting on the outside picnic tables, he espied a middle aged man doing a book of word puzzles. Axl, who had taken an internet IQ test and discovered that he was a full standard deviation above genius, asked the man if he could have a crack at one of the puzzles.

"Sure man. This page is anagrams. They're wicked hard. I'm trying to find an anagram of 'Nip appeal' that's something you eat. I mean, what's appealing about Nips?"

Axl smiled wryly. "That's easy my dude. The answer is pineapple."

The middle aged man stared in awe. "Shit dude you're good. My name's Bart Bosof. It anagrams to Fart Boobs."

Axl farted. "My name's Axl Evita. I don't know what it anagrams to, never really thought about it."

The middle aged man said, "Ancient scholars said there was lots of wisdom in anagrams. Write your name here on the margin and we'll work it out."

Axl carefully wrote 'Axl Evita' in block letters with his non-dominant hand so that it wouldn't look like a signature. He didn't want to find out later that this seemingly innocuous puzzle book was actually a contract or paternity agreement.

The middle aged man studied the letters carefully for a few minutes before his face went dark. "Aw shit my dude, this is even worse than my name's anagram."

"What do you mean?" Axl asked.

The middle aged man swallowed, "Sir, your name anagrams to laxative."

Axl wondered if he should get Cake Cream to sign legally binding Contracts naming him as their Lawyer. He was already their Power Of Attorney, and was already their Legal Representative, and was basically already acting like their Lawyer, so being their Lawyer wasn't too far off.



He asked all of Cake Cream if they'd like to sign legally binding Contracts making him their Lawyer. He made very compelling reasons why he'd make a good Lawyer for them, mainly pointing out he was their Power Of Attorney and their Legal Representative.



Cake Cream deliberated amongst themselves and thought Axl would be a great Lawyer for them. They agreed verbally and Axl smiled and drew up the Contracts stating he was their Lawyer. Cake Cream read, understood, agreed and signed. Axl signed too and they all smiled. Axl was now officially their Lawyer!



They went to Claven Records with the Contracts and Claven Records agreed to let Axl be Cake Cream's Lawyer.



Cake Cream and Axl thanked Claven Records and were welcomed. They chatted with Claven Records and then said their goodbyes and left. They went to a Restaurant to celebrate Axl now officially being Cake Cream's Lawyer. They had a nice steak lunch and paid.



They went to the Library and Axl checked out Law Books. The librarian looked at him curiously, but didn't verbally question Axl checking out Law Books. Axl and Cake Cream blushed. She rung him up. She was thanked and she welcomed him. Axl and Cake Cream left and went home. Axl studied the law books. He studied as if he were a Law Student studying to be a Lawyer.



Cake Cream were confident in their choice to let Axl be their Lawyer. They trusted him. Axl soon took a nap. When he awoke, Cake Cream asked him how much he wanted them to pay him to be their Lawyer.



Axl responded,"I'm Pro Bono for you guys, which means I do my Lawyering for you guys for free."



Cake Cream were like,"It doesn't seem right that you're our Lawyer and we don't pay you ANYTHING. Cake Cream wanted to pay Axl SOMETHING.



Axl was like,"Okay, you guys can pay me a one time flat fee of $1 Million combined.



Cake Cream smiled and agreed and Zelled Axl $200,000 each.



Axl smiled and thanked them and was welcomed.

Axl opened up the tome on Contract Law and was stunned to see how approachable and non-mystifying the law could be.

In attempting to explain the notion of a contract, he read: "She offered her honor, he honored her offer, and was on her and off her all night."

"This is easy" he concluded; he rewarded himself with a strawberry blizzard.

The next day he and Cake Cream went before a judge seeking an injunction to prevent Wild Water from pirating their songs.

Axl was proud of his hand written motion; he had stayed within the lines of his Big Chief legal tablet.

"This shit is easy" he chuckled to himself.

But then judge V glared at him, asking "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm their attorney, Axl."

"Funny, I never saw you here before; what is your bar number?"

Axl paused, then said "555-1212; that's the phone numbor of the Plucked Goose, my favorite watering hole."

"Bailiff !" screamed the judge; two beefy bailiffs appeared.

"Arrest this man; he's practicing law without a license. Contempt of court. Thirty days in the cooler."

Axl thanked the judge and tried to shake his hand but the bailiffs interpreted his action as an attempted assault so he was well and thoroughly tased.

"Fucking amateur" exclaimed judge V; "take him away, boys, and soften him up a bit with those billy clubs."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Axl opened up the tome on Contract Law and was stunned to see how approachable and non-mystifying the law could be.

In attempting to explain the notion of a contract, he read: "She offered her honor, he honored her offer, and was on her and off her all night."

"This is easy" he concluded; he rewarded himself with a strawberry blizzard.

The next day he and Cake Cream went before a judge seeking an injunction to prevent Wild Water from pirating their songs.

Axl was proud of his hand written motion; he had stayed within the lines of his Big Chief legal tablet.

"This shit is easy" he chuckled to himself.

But then judge V glared at him, asking "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm their attorney, Axl."

"Funny, I never saw you here before; what is your bar number?"

Axl paused, then said "555-1212; that's the phone numbor of the Plucked Goose, my favorite watering hole."

"Bailiff !" screamed the judge; two beefy bailiffs appeared.

"Arrest this man; he's practicing law without a license. Contempt of court. Thirty days in the cooler."

Axl thanked the judge and tried to shake his hand but the bailiffs interpreted his action as an attempted assault so he was well and thoroughly tased.

"Fucking amateur" exclaimed judge V; "take him away, boys, and soften him up a bit with those billy clubs."

---

Yep, did research after writing this part (I was also thinking Axl would have to pass the bar)and Axl could be in so much trouble for practicing law without a license, but I'm thinking of handwaving this as Axl being a LAWYER and not an Attorney. IIRC,. anyone can act as your Lawyer, but NOT as your Attorney.(In an upcoming part, a Prosecutor points out that Billy is Axl's Boyfriend, so that definitely is unethical for Axl to be dating his Client as a Lawyer) Besides, Axl was already Cake Cream's Legal Representative , so naturally the next step was him being their Lawyer. :)

Edit. The Contracts Axl had Cake Cream read, understood agreed and sign stating Axl was their Lawyer is legally binding. :) Besides, Claven Records agreed to let Axl be Cake Cream's Lawyer and Cake Cream are Claven Records Employees. So, Claven Records could be held legally liable for agreeing to let Axl be Cake Cream's Lawyer. Claven Records could have said something like,"Are you guys crazy? We're not going to let Axl, who is not a legally licensed Lawyer be your Lawyer! Get out of here!" But Claven Records agreed, so they could be held legally liable.

The wannabe fiction writer decided that reality had no place in her make-believe world; reality must be consigned to the slag heap.

Time travel: check.

Doppelgangers: check.

Unschooled, unlicensed rockers practicing law with impunity: check.

Court cases coming to trial the day after being filed: check.

Hundreds of millions being paid to settle worthless claims: check.

What a steaming pile of shit Tasha's tale is: such fun to dump more excrement on it...

Axl did more studying of the Law Books. Axl called W and told him he was now Cake Cream's Lawyer.



W said,"Manager, Legal Representative, Mentor, Power Of Attorney, Boyfriend to Billy, Friend, and now Lawyer. Oh boy, you've got your hands full with this Cake Cream thing.



Axl smiled. "I'm committed to Cake Cream.



W replied, "And to think, not too long ago, you wanted to leave Cake Cream."



Axl blushed shyly. "I'm really glad I stuck it out. I love Cake Cream. I really do. We definitely have that tight bond between all of us."



W replied,"Especially you and Billy."



Axl replied shyly,"Yeah. I love Billy so much and he loves me too. "



W replied,"I'm really glad you found a very good love with Billy."



Axl thanked him and was welcomed.



Axl asked, "So, any special Woman in your life?"



W replied,"Nope, very busy with Guns N'Roses/Wild Guns. Not dating anyone now "



Axl responded,"Hopefully you find a special Woman soon, one that you have a deep love with like I found with Billy."



W smiled and thanked Axl and was welcomed.



They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Axl thought about Current Guns N'Roses and wondered if he should get Izzy and Steven to come back to Guns N'Roses. He called W back and said," Hey, Axl, what's Steven and Izzy's phone numbers? "



W responded,"Do you miss Izzy and Steven?"



Axl responded,"Yeah, I miss them. I technically haven't spoken to them in decades."



W lightheartedly responded,"Technically, you spoke to them about two months ago."



Axl responded lightheartedly,"You know what I mean."



W responded,"Yeah, I do. He gave Axl Izzy and Steven's phone numbers. He thanked W and was welcomed.



They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Axl called Steven and when Steven answered, Axl said, "How do you feel about joining Guns N'Roses in 2022?"



Steven responded,"You guys kicked me out in the early 90's. I'm still bitter about it."



Axl responded,"Technically, I haven't done that yet in my timeline. I'm only 25 and I did that in my late 20's.



Steven responded tentatively,"It would be nice to be part of Guns N'Roses again. I do miss Guns N'Roses."



Axl smiled and said,"I'd love to see you be a part of Guns N'Roses again too in 2022."



Steven responded,"Maybe I can show up at the next Guns N'Roses Show."



Axl pointed out that the next Guns N'Roses Show was tomorrow. Steven said he would be there. Axl was happy. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Axl smiled triumphantly. Izzy was next. Axl called Izzy and when Izzy picked up, Axl told Izzy he wanted him to be part of Guns N'Roses.



Izzy said,"I quit almost 30 years ago. Almost 30 years ago."



Axl said,"Izzy, it would make me really happy if you'd come back to Guns N'Roses. I miss you. This would mean a lot to me."



Izzy relented and said he would be at the next Guns N'Roses Show.



Axl smiled and thanked him and was welcomed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Steven and Izzy were coming to tomorrow's Guns N'Roses Show! Axl was happy.

During the show the audience booed and threw rotten fish at Izzy and Steven, yelling "Get the fuck off the stage grandpa, we need young blood up there."

Mackeral and thousand island dressing dripped off their motorcycle helmets.

"Fuck this shit" they both said in unison: then they bailed mid-set.

The audience went nuts: they stormed the stage and beat the band members and their roadies to a pulp; they destroyed their equipment, and when leaving set the venue on fire.

Axl's last thought before passing out was "Oh shit, I forgot to thank them and shake their hand..."

Cake Cream and Axl chilled until the next day.



The next day, Axl called both Izzy and Steven and told them to wear motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests. They agreed. Axl told them both he couldn't wait to see them at tonight's Wild Guns Show. They told him they couldn't wait to see him too. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



W got Cake Cream and Axl more Wild Guns tickets and they got ready for the Wild Guns Show. They went.



At the Venue, Steven and Izzy were there and Wild Guns were there too.



W looked at Steven and Izzy in shock.



"What the hell are you guys doing here?" W asked confused.



Axl hadn't told W that he was planning on having Izzy and Steven come to see Wild Guns. W was completely blindsided.



Cake Cream scolded Axl for not telling W that he planned on Steven and Izzy showing up at Wild Guns.



Even W was like,"Axl, you should have told me that you were planning on Izzy and Steven show up tonight. Izzy and Steven blushed.



Axl said,"Okay, I should have told you, but the fact that Steven and Izzy actually showed up shows they are willing to bury the hatchet. " Steven and Izzy admitted they wanted to bury the hatchet.



W was like,"Okay, Steven and Izzy can stay. I want the hatchet buried too." He smiled.



Steven and Izzy smiled happily.



Soon, Sam, Patrick, Dean, Matthew, Kenny, Thomas(Wild Water) and Slash, Melissa, Frank, Richard, Dizzy, and Duff(Guns N'Roses) showed up to the Venue. They were surprised to see Steven and Izzy there. The situation was explained and Axl got more scolding for not telling the rest of Guns N'Roses and Wild Water that Steven and Izzy were coming, but it was quickly forgiven.



Steven and Izzy were welcomed warmly by all of Guns N'Roses, Wild Water, Axl and Cake Cream. They humbly accepted. Steven, Izzy, Wild Water, Guns N'Roses practiced and sounded good.



It was soon time for the show.



The Wild Guns Show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and sounded good.



Izzy and Steven came wearing their motorcycle helmets and Audience Members wondered who the two new Members were. W said,"Here are a couple of old Friends who decided to come back to us!" Steven and Izzy removed their motorcycle helmets briefly and smiled. The audience cheered wildly, happy to see Steven and Izzy back in Guns N'Roses and with Wild Guns. Steven and Izzy put back their motorcycle helmets and played with Wild Guns. They all sounded good. The Audience cheered wildly more. W asked Izzy and Steven if they wanted to be part of Wild Guns and Wild Guns were all okay with this idea. Izzy and Steven blushed and agreed. Wild Guns were all happy.



Cake Cream and Axl were glad that Izzy and Steven were now part of Wild Guns.



The Audience liked this too.



The Wild Guns and Steven and Izzy show continued and was really good and the final sendoff happened to wild cheering. The show was soon over.



After the Show, Axl was thanked for asking Steven and Izzy to show up at Wild Guns Show tonight. Axl shyly blushed and Cake Cream were happy. So were Steven, Izzy, and all of Wild Guns.

Cake Cream and Axl chilled until the next day.



The next day, Axl called both Izzy and Steven and told them to wear motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests. They agreed. Axl told them both he couldn't wait to see them at tonight's Wild Guns Show. They told him they couldn't wait to see him too. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



W got Cake Cream and Axl more Wild Guns tickets and they got ready for the Wild Guns Show. They went.



At the Venue, Steven and Izzy were there and Wild Guns were there too.



W looked at Steven and Izzy in shock.



"What the hell are you guys doing here?" W asked confused.



Axl hadn't told W that he was planning on having Izzy and Steven come to see Wild Guns. W was completely blindsided.



Cake Cream scolded Axl for not telling W that he planned on Steven and Izzy showing up at Wild Guns.



Even W was like,"Axl, you should have told me that you were planning on Izzy and Steven show up tonight. Izzy and Steven blushed.



Axl said,"Okay, I should have told you, but the fact that Steven and Izzy actually showed up shows they are willing to bury the hatchet. " Steven and Izzy admitted they wanted to bury the hatchet.



W was like,"Okay, Steven and Izzy can stay. I want the hatchet buried too." He smiled.



Steven and Izzy smiled happily.



Soon, Sam, Patrick, Dean, Matthew, Kenny, Thomas(Wild Water) and Slash, Melissa, Frank, Richard, Dizzy, and Duff(Guns N'Roses) showed up to the Venue. They were surprised to see Steven and Izzy there. The situation was explained and Axl got more scolding for not telling the rest of Guns N'Roses and Wild Water that Steven and Izzy were coming, but it was quickly forgiven.



Steven and Izzy were welcomed warmly by all of Guns N'Roses, Wild Water, Axl and Cake Cream. They humbly accepted. Steven, Izzy, Wild Water, Guns N'Roses practiced and sounded good.



It was soon time for the show.



The Wild Guns Show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and sounded good.



Izzy and Steven came wearing their motorcycle helmets and Audience Members wondered who the two new Members were. W said,"Here are a couple of old Friends who decided to come back to us!" Steven and Izzy removed their motorcycle helmets briefly and smiled. The audience cheered wildly, happy to see Steven and Izzy back in Guns N'Roses and with Wild Guns. Steven and Izzy put back their motorcycle helmets and played with Wild Guns. They all sounded good. The Audience cheered wildly more. W asked Izzy and Steven if they wanted to be part of Wild Guns and Wild Guns were all okay with this idea. Izzy and Steven blushed and agreed. Wild Guns were all happy.



Cake Cream and Axl were glad that Izzy and Steven were now part of Wild Guns.



The Audience liked this too.



The Wild Guns and Steven and Izzy show continued and was really good and the final sendoff happened to wild cheering. The show was soon over.



After the Show, Axl was thanked for asking Steven and Izzy to show up at Wild Guns Show tonight. Axl shyly blushed and Cake Cream were happy. So were Steven, Izzy, and all of Wild Guns.

Axl had tired of living in this day and time so he fired up his wayback machine and went back to Bethlehem; it was christmas day.

He popped into existence in a manger; a scamming whore named Mary and her pimp Joey were stunned initially but soon had a plan.

"Hey man, you came out of nowhere...you must be an angel."

Axl was choking on the smell of sheep shit but he managed "Billy says I am angelic."

"Good enough; now, get in that cage."

They caged him, put the cage on an ass-drawn cart, and displayed him around town; it was claimed he was an angel.

Soon a cult started and the cult grew until it became the ultimate mindfuck; people swore they saw his face in their porridge, and that their prayers in his name were answered.

Eventually he was let out of his cage; he entertained the yokels with Guns 'n Roses tunes, sans guitar: he tried a lute but it didn't gel.

He thanked the whore and her pimp and they told him he was welcome.

After the Show, they went to Olive Garden to celebrate Izzy and Steven being in Guns N'Roses/Wild Water.



They ordered pasta and chicken dishes, and the unlimited soup, salad and bread sticks and champagne and black tie cheesecake.



W and Axl both looked at Steven and Izzy deeply and both mentioned how happy Steven and Izzy were in Guns N'Roses again. Steven and Izzy were glad they were both back in Guns N'Roses. All of Cake Cream, Wild Water, the rest of Guns N'Roses were happy too. All 21 people were happy. They had a nice dinner. They paid and left.



Cake Cream and Axl went home. They got ready for bed and went to sleep.



They woke up the next morning and ate and got ready for the day. They watched TV and watched Court TV. They were airing the first Axl Rose verses Brian Washington Court Hearing.



Cake Cream and Axl watched Axl's panicked face when Brian's Lawyer mentioned that Cake Cream released The New Song during Axl's time as a Fugitive. They also watched Axl panic when Brian's Lawyer planned to put Cake Cream on the stand to question if they hid Axl during any of his time as a Fugitive.



Cake Cream and Axl knew on Social Media Axl's panicking would be questioned.



And they were right. On Social Media, there were questioning of Axl's panicking during those moments.



Axl responded, "I was on the run for only a couple of days. I panicked because I had briefly mixed up the days in my head and I then remembered that I definitely wasn't with Cake Cream during my time as a Fugitive. I was living on the streets alone until the day I turned myself in. Cake Cream backed up Axl.



Posters on Social Media questioned how Axl could mix up the days.



Axl responded,"It kind of felt like the Agent from Men In Black used the "Memory Loss," Lazer Pen on me.



Posters responded,"Do you mean the Neuralyzer?"



Axl responded,"Yes."



Fans were skeptical, but decided to let this drop.



Cake Cream and Axl were relieved. Axl had lied under Oath when he claimed that Cake Cream didn't hide him during his time as a Fugitive and that he was living alone during his time as a Fugitive. That was Perjury and was legally punishable. Also, Cake Cream could be legally punished for hiding Axl during his time as a Fugitive. Axl didn't want Cake Cream to be in trouble, so he protected them by claiming he was living alone during his time as a Fugitive and Cake Cream didn't hide him. They had all decided to keep this their little secret.



Cake Cream were so grateful to have Axl as their Friend and Manager. Andy felt knots of guilt about attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000. He was grateful that Axl forgave him. He knew other People in Axl's position would have permanently ended their Friendship over that. Andy guiltily smiled at Axl.



Axl questioned why Andy was smiling at him like that and Andy admitted he still felt guilty over attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000.



Axl said," I know you feel guilty. What you did was in the past and you promised me you'd never attempt to sell me out or anyone else again. It was an impulsive decision that you feel awful about I already forgave you."



Andy smiled a much more relieved smile. He thanked Axl for forgiving him. Axl welcomed him.



Cake Cream and Axl chatted more.



Axl went to his room and Stuart called Axl's Cellphone.



Axl was grateful to chat with his younger(Now older) Brother.



Stuart was like,"It's really good to be talking with you, Axl."



Axl responded,"I'm glad we're talking too.



Stuart mentioned how weird it was that Axl was YOUNGER than him.



Axl responded,"I know, but it's happening. I'm just glad you, Amy, and W are still alive.



Stuart smiled and told him he loved him. Axl responded he loved him too. Axl was glad he could talk to his Brother. Stuart was grateful too.



They chatted for a long while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Axl was happy. He had a great Family in 2022. Billy was his Boyfriend, he had Amy and Stuart as his actual Brother and Sister, he had W as a "Father," Andy, Mike, James, and Jimmy were kind of his adopted Brothers, he had the rest of Guns N'Roses as his adopted Sister and Brothers, and he had Wild Water as adopted Brothers too. Life was good to Axl in 2022.

Axl was making Cambrick tea when there was a loud knock on the door: ! "IRS."

"Uh-oh" flashed in his mind; "they must have found out that I never filed any tax returns and never paid a dime of income tax."

It was "fight or flight:" he opted to flee.

The only exit was out the second floor kitchen window: Axl made a split second decision and ran and leaped through the window, using his arms out front like a battering ram.

He landed roughly on some shrubs and noticed his right arm was now missing.

Looking back, he saw it stuck in the broken glass where it had been severed.

"Not good" he mused.

Axl wrapped his belt around his stump and hobbled off into the night, sans his right arm.

"Who needs it anyway?" he rationalized; "I can still jerk off."

A neighborhood dog took umbrage to his presence and bit his leg; Axl shook his paw and thanked him and Fido barked "Woof" which is dog-speak for "You're welcome."

Axl espied a DQ in the distance and smiled, thinking "this really is my lucky day."

They got ready for bed and went to sleep. The next day, they woke up and got ready for the day. Cake Cream had a Show today and they practiced for the show. The Venue was next to a man made lake that had no living organisms in it, just lake water



They went to the Venue and it was a good show but all of a sudden, Axl said,"Security, grab that item from that guy in the first row in the third seat wearing a checkered red shirt and blue pants. " Security didn't do anything, so Axl said,"I'll take it, God damnit!"



And ran off stage and to the front row and went to the third seat in the front row and grabbed the item from the guy wearing the checkered red shirt and blue pants. He looked at the item and saw he had about 10 minutes. He said,"I'll be right back in about 10 minutes!"



He ran out the venue and couldn't defuse the BOMB as he was no Bomb expert. He threw the bomb into the man made lake and ran like a trackstar back to the Venue and the show continued.

The guy he had taken the bomb from had left. In a couple of moments, the bomb had went off into the man made lake and it looked like a hurricane had went off in that lake. Cakers were surprised.



Axl lightheartedly said something like,"Looks like a Hurricane hit the lake early in May!" Cakers and Cake Cream were stunned.



The Show continued and the final sendoff happened and after the Show ended, Cakers and Cake Cream and Axl looked at the lake that had been bombed. The bomb hadn't caused any outside flooding, the water had stayed in the lake.



Axl was asked what happened and he admitted that he threw the bomb he got from the Concert goer into the man made lake as he had about 10 minutes for it before it went off. He was no Bomb expert, so he threw it in the water. Axl and Cake Cream were allowed to go home. They went home.



Already this thing went viral on YouTube and other Social Media.



The Police had issued an arrest Warrant for the guy who had brought the bomb. He was found a couple of hours later. He was brought in for questioning and admitted he planned to bomb Cake Cream and Axl and then run off after throwing the bomb at them.



Cake Cream and Axl were understandably horrified and unsettled.



Axl suggested they stop doing live Cake Cream shows as this was just too much. Axl getting shot multiple times with Billy being the intended Victim, and some Creep attempting to fucing BOMB them.



Cake Cream pointed out mockingly," We're working for the Fans, remember that."



Axl was like,"They'd understand if we stop live shows after someone almost bombed us on purpose."



Cake Cream admitted Axl had a solid point. They decided they should stop live shows. It was just too dangerous now.

Inspector Clousseau sipped his cafe au lait, twisted his moustache and asked the shackled prisoner "What is your name?"

"My name Jose JImenez" replied the sultry bomber.

The inspector, dolt though he may have been, realized he was being lied to and he didn't like it.

"That is not your name; tell me your real name or things will go badly for you."

"Puddin tame, ask me again and I'll tell you the same."

That did it; the angry detective slapped the cuffed wisecracker repeatedly.

But then Clousseau saw that the man's wallet was on the adjoining table; he opened it and discovered the man's name: Bill Yung.

"Oh, you're that crazy fucker from Canada; one of the least liked posters on the internet."

"People just don't understand, I have a beautiful mind."

Clousseau knew what to do with that "beautiful mind:" he had a doctor come in and give the prisoner a shot of Haldol and a sedative.

"Throw him in the loony bin with that Singer guy; birds of a feather can shit their nest together."

He smiled, and the nutcase shook his hand and thanked him.

Nathan and Karen Kentry were your average childless middle-aged black couple. They worked for a secret government agency, in a nondescript gray commie block style building, where they punched in at 9 and out at 5 and in between they posted mindless drivel on obscure forums. Stories about time-traveling singers on gambling forums, posts about expressing a dog's anal glands on a crochet forum, questions about casino gambling on a forum for Christmas tree farmers, complaints about getting banned from mathematics forums on a forum dedicated to complaining about popular TV commercials. What was it all for?

After a typical day at work on a Monday like any other, Nathan suggested to his wife that they go out for Chinese.

"I hate Chinese. Last week I wrote 144 pages of fan fiction about Gene Simmons being reincarnated as a Mexican laborer working at a Chinese restaurant on an Australian forum about urban composting." said Karen as she rolled her eyes.

"I can beat that," Nathan replied. "Today I created 32 sock puppets on a forum about Shetland ponies and I made them argue about whether Jewel Kilcher or Katy Perry would win paper-rock-scissors."

"Let's just order in no-contact pizza, babe." Karen sighed.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Who the hell was visiting Nathan and Karen at this hour? They had no friends in Miami, and both their families lived off-grid in the Everglades. Nathan spied through the peep hole. It was Gene Simmons and Jewel Kilcher on a Shetland pony playing rock-paper-scissors. Curious, Nathan opened the door.

"May I help you?" he asked timidly.

"Are you Nathan and Karen Kentry?" they asked in unison.

Nathan nodded slowly without blinking. Nervous and shaking, he ripped a fart that was reminiscent of pizza and Chinese.

"Come with us if you want to live."

Yung was thrown head-first into the dank pit; he landed on the crumpled form of Rob Singer.

The stench of loss permeated the air to a redolent degree.

Soon the two loonies were actively chatting back and forth, neither making a lick of sense and neither one noticing.

"I owned this prison once but put it in my kid's name to avoid probate" said Rob.

"That's nothing; I'm the secret king of the world, and the numbers prove it" smirked the fucked canuck.

"Oh yeah? Well, I sold a Newell RV to an Israeli secret agent, a guy I once knew when I was CIA chief of station in Moscow" claimed the demented VP player. "Oh, and did I tell you how I secretly won one and a half million dollars recently playing video poker?"

"I yield to you, sir: surely my accomplishments pale in comparison."

"Yeah, and my dick is a lot longer and thicker than yours, I have more money and guns than you, I drive a faster car than you..."

The loon continued to spout inanities while the northern pike counted his fingers and toes.

"Don't forget the double up bug..." but by that time Yung was catatonic.

Axl and Cake Cream announced on Social Media that live Cake Cream Shows would stop after that bomb was meant to go off on them.



Fans were disappointed, but understood that Cake Cream and Axl's lives had been in danger and also their own. That bomb could have gone off and killed everyone inside while the Creep could have run off into the ether after throwing that bomb. Fans were grateful that Axl saved their lives. Cake Cream was also grateful that Axl saved their lives. Axl blushed shyly and thanked them and was welcomed.



They ate and got ready for bed and went to sleep.



The next day, they woke up and are and got ready for the day. They couldn't believe they made the decision to stop doing live Cake Cream Shows.



Claven Records called them and told them they were making a risky decision by stopping live Cake Cream shows, but understood it was a wise decision as they nearly all got blown up. Claven Records expressed their sympathy to Cake Cream and Axl and were thanked and they welcomed them. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



A Police Officer once again knocked on the door and asked them if they wanted to press charges on Maxwell Nichols, the guy who tried to bomb them. They all said yes. The Police Officer gave them Maxwell's Court Date which was tomorrow. They thanked the Police Officer and he welcomed them and he soon left. They chilled for the day and the next day, they woke up, ate, and got ready for the Court Hearing. They went early and we're all processed and went to the Court room. The Bailiff had his gun hidden. Axl and Cake Cream smiled.



Maxwell Nichols soon arrived and was glaring at Cake Cream and Axl. He had handcuffs on.



The Judge asked Maxwell why he tried to bomb Axl and Cake Cream.



Maxwell replied,"Because they put my Cousin, John Wilson in jail!"



The Judge asked Cake Cream and Axl if they wanted to press charges against Maxwell and they all said yes.



Maxwell pleaded guilty to attempted Murder and the Judge ordered him to be immediately transferred to another State Prison on the West Coast, in a California Prison. He was escorted out.



Cake Cream and Axl were relieved. Maxwell was going to California where he wouldn't be able to attempt to Murder them.



They left the Courthouse and went to a nearby restaurant and had a nice lunch. After lunch, they went home and relaxed.

Nathan and Karen got on the Shetland pony with Gene Simmons and Jewel Kilcher and to their surprise, the pony sprouted wings like a pegasus and took off into the evening sky. As they flew, Jewel explained what was going on.

"You guys think you work for the government, but actually you work for a nefarious criminal organization called Terminally Addicted Slot Harlots Association, or T.A.S.H.A. for short." she explained. She lifted a cheek to pass audible gas for 3.5 seconds before continuing, "TASHA is hell bent on ruining the internet for everyone. That's why you are paid to shit post constantly."

Nathan and Karen were flabbergasted. Then Gene explained further, "We represent an organization that works to stop TASHA. We discovered that high level personalities that control TASHA have a weakness for certain kinds of bland has-been music, specifially Armenian xylophone lullabies, or A.X.L. for short. We deploy AXL to incapaci--"

Karen interrupted Gene just as he was about to explain how they used AXL to defeat TASHA, "This is nuts Nathan. We must be high and hallucinating all this shit." And to prove it, she grabbed her husband's hand and leaped from the pony mid-air. Unfortunately, the pony, Gene, Jewel, and gravity were all very very real. Karen and Nathan landed on top of a station wagon in a DQ parking lot, dying instantly on impact. Gene was about to land the pony to inspect the gruesome scene when Jewel stopped him. "No, it's too late. Besides, they were two of the most prolific spammers at TASHA. It's for the best."

While being escorted through the courthouse to the jail, Maxwell and the bailiffs passed the courthouse vendor.

Clever lad, Maxwell was able to grab a donut and throw it in front of the officers, saying "Who wants it?"

Both dived for it like Acapulco cliff divers, allowing Max the opportunity to flee: he fled.

Max returned to his lair, removed the cuffs, and plotted his next move.

After a few hits of good weed he went to his tool box, picked out his chosen weapon and hopped on his e-bike.

It was a dark and humid night; on cat's feet (ouch) he crept to Cake Cream's house, jimmied a window and snuck in; he quietly went upstairs to their bedroom.

All of the members of Cake Cream were bare-ass naked, asleep on a floor covered with white polar bear fur: very pretty but damned sticky.

No stranger to the aftermath of circle jerks, Max was not bothered at all, so he proceeded to "go to work..."

In short order his silver hammer was covered with gore.

A fatally wounded Axl stared lovingly at Max through his blood draped eyes, mouthing "thank you" and offering Max his hand; Max shook it, said "You're welcome" and then smashed the hand, one finger at a time.

"Bomb 'em or bash 'em, it's all the same to me" he mused.

Mr. V, I clearly said that Maxwell has HANDCUFFS on! You can't grab donuts with HANDCUFFS on! :/

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tasha

Mr. V, I clearly said that Maxwell has HANDCUFFS on! You can't grab donuts with HANDCUFFS on!

---

Of course you can.

Sheesh, you don't get out much, do you?

You're so fucking dense I better explain how he did it.

In a nutshell: the donut was displayed on the counter's edge; when in close proximity he quickly spun his body so that his cuffed paws could and did grab and then fling the loathesome concoction.

Besides, you've set the bar of believability quite low indeed when you introduced time travel and doppelgangers: now ANYTHING is possible in Tasha's universe of woe.

Quit whining and post more drivel, my creative juices are simply oozing...

Natashathan pushed down one slat of her miniblinds to check if the man was still outside. He was. She had turned off all the lights in the house, save for the light inside the toaster oven where she was cooking a single serving no-contact boxed pizza. She farted softly. The man stood stock still about 5 yards from the house, directly across from her bedroom window. His face was obscured by a garrish plastic Axl Rose Halloween mask and a cheap costume wig. His left arm dangled at his side, his right held an ominous red helium balloon on a string.

She stepped away from the window to attend to her pizza. When she came back to the window with a greasy paper plate in hand she gulped before pushing down the slat again. There he was, 2 yards closer and now holding 2 helium balloons. Natashathan screamed with all her breath, "What do you want???"

Suddenly her phone vibrated. There was a new text message from an unknown number. It read, "boo." She looked again and there he was now a mere foot away from the window. In both hands he held dozens of helium balloons. She had never been more scared in her life and instinctively took a huge bite of her pizza to comfort herself. Unfortunately it was too big, and she began to choke. With no one in the house to perform the Heimlich maneuver, she perished.

THE END

Axl wondered what they would do now now that Cake Cream live shows stopped.



He declared an emergency Family Meeting.



Jimmy, James, Mike, Andy, and Billy all came to the emergency Family Meeting like they should.



Axl said, "We're in a tough decision now. We are going to lose a lot of revenue without those $25 a ticket live shows. Let's discuss ways on how to still generate revenue."



Jimmy said,"We can make a brand new album and sell it to Claven Records.



Axl responded, "We just released Bronze Cake. Making a new album so soon might be overkill."



Mike said,"We can sell All The Right Words to movie Soundtracks, commercials, TV Shows, etc.



Axl responded,"I like that idea, but we should listen to more ideas.



Billy responded, "We can beg Claven Records for money."



Axl responded,"We're wealthier than Claven Records."



James responded," We can sell merchandise with Cake Cream logo on it." Axl responded," Fans might like that."

Andy responded, "We can buy Gold as the price of gold dropped considerably with the Bronze Frenzy fad. We can then sell it once the Bronze Frenzy fad is over and gold is high again."



Axl said,"That's a good idea, Andy, but we should hear more ideas."



Axl and Cake Cream chatted more and they were all like,"What are we talking about? We're the wealthiest Band in the whole world!" We should go have fun with our riches!"



They decided to go book a vacation to Hawaii. They got ready to go to the Airport and went. At the Airport, they bought 6 first class last minute tickets to Hawaii and had a luxurious first class experience again. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.



The plane landed in Honolulu International Airport and they took a LYFT to the local Marriott and made last minute bookings. Billy and Axl shared a room and James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy each had their own rooms. They settled in and got ready for bed and went to sleep. Their rooms were all luxurious.



The next day, the did some sightseeing in Hawaii. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. They had fun. They went back to their hotel and ordered Room Service and ate, drank, and chilled. They went to the in hotel Nightclub and they went to see the Headliners performing.



Holy crap! The headliners were performing Cake Cream songs!



Cake Cream and Axl were flattered and amused. This was literally the first Band to do Cake Cream Tributes.



The Headliners noticed Cake Cream and Axl and were like,"Cake Cream and Axl are here! We had no idea you guys were here! Wow!"



The Audience was happy to see Cake Cream and Axl. Cake Cream and Axl blushed. Their Fans loved them and there was even a Band playing tribute to them. They had fun at the nightclub.

The final set was about over; Axl found himself staring at a huge palmetto bug (or was it a cockroach?) that perched on Billy's shoulder.

Axl realized that he was really worried about not having a stream of income, given his fondness for strawberry blizzards and original Renoirs.

He recalled the things he'd done in the past to make money: trapping and selling cats to the Chinese cooks was always an option but couldn't yield the profits he wanted; similarly, letting wealthy, fat men piss on him, while both enjoyable and profitable, got a bit old and soggy.

What to do?

He chatted with an older, swarthy, mysterious looking sort of fellow at the next table and decided to ask for advice; "What is the best way for us to make money?"

Without batting an eye the man smiled like a Cheshire cat and said "I can take you there."

Axl was impressed; he shook his hand and thanked him for offering to show him the way, and the man welcomed him.

"Now, here's what you do" said the fellow.

"Gamble. Gamble feverishly. Gamble while adopting the right superstitions, that's what I do. Why, a couple months ago I won $1.5M on just one pull of the video poker handle."

Not as stupid as he looked, Axl responded "But what about the house edge?"

"Do I look like I let that bother me?"

Axl thought that no, he didn't seem to let the house edge bother him.

"Please tell me more" said Axl while watching the huge bug climb into and nest in Billy's flowing mane.

He was told more, then smiled again, shook the man's hand, and promised to meet him the next morning for a hearty breakfast of kipper fish.

'Twas morning in Maui.

Axl completed his ablutions by hitting himself hard in the balls, the way his father did it when he was a boy: who needs annoying hormonal distractions?

The swarthy fellow was already seated in the restaurant, reading a dog-eared copy of "Mein Kampf" and sipping kombucha.

Axl ordered his usual breakfast of kipper fish and V-8 tomato cocktail and then they got down to business.

"To win at gambling you need to out-think the machines" claimed the swarthy wannabe Nazi, "and I do that with my "special plays."

"Your what?"

"Special plays. I could tell you what they are but I'd rather show you."

As casino gambling was unavailable in Hawaii, and as the stranger had an appointment with an ED specialist in thirty minutes, they cut their chat short, exchanged contact info, and agreed to meet at a Miami casino to continue Axl's edification.

Axl smiled, shook hands, thanked his companion, snd was thanked in return.

Watching the man walk away from the table Axl wondered: "How is it that this guy leaves a slime trail behind him?"

After the nightclub, they went back to a Luau and ate some pork, fries, and drank Pina colada right out of a coconut. They had fun and then went back to their hotel rooms and got ready for bed. Axl and Billy snuggled close to each other, making out, enjoying each other's company. They soon fell asleep.



The next day, Cake Cream and Axl woke up, ate Room Service food and drink and got ready for the day.



They watched the News and Allison was suing Jimmy and James for Rape, and hoping to win $50 million from them each. Oh no. The Court Date was for TOMORROW. SHAIT!



Axl and Cake Cream had to make last minute flights back to Florida. They made the bookings and had a luxurious, but nervous first class experience again.



In Florida, they practiced hard for Allison's lawsuit against Jimmy and James. Axl knew Jimmy and James didn't rape Allison.



Axl was their Lawyer. After practicing, they decided to talk about what a nasty Person Allison really was.



They ate and got ready for bed. They went to sleep.



The next day, they woke up, ate, and got ready for the day.



They left to go to the Courthouse.



They got there early. They were processed.



Soon, Allison and her Lawyer came. Allison glared at Jimmy and James. They glared at her back.



Soon, Court was in Session and Allison claimed James and Jimmy traumatized her for life when they forced themselves on her against her will and she said $100 Million would help heal the scars.



Her Lawyer said,"My Client was a happy, cheerful person until Jimmy and James stole that from her. She's a broken bird. The least they can do is pay the $100 million to her.



James and Jimmy both said they didn't rape Allison and she was lying.



Axl said,"I'd like to cross examine Allison."



The Judge allowed Axl to cross examine Allison.



Axl walked up to Allison and said," Allison, you say that James and Jimmy raped you. Is that right?"



Allison said,"That's right. They raped me on May 1st." Allison cried in a bad acting way."



Axl said, "James was in the hospital on May 1st all day after Jimmy attacked him with the guitar. There are hospital records to back this up."



Allison begun to stutter knowing she was caught in a lie.



Allison's Lawyer said,"Objection! Mr. Rose is badgering my Client with hostility!"



The Judge overruled the objection, pointing out Axl was not badgering Allison with hostility.



Axl continued,"You took an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Perjury is a serious crime and you can face serious punishment for committing perjury. Jimmy and James could even countersue you for defamation and libel. In some jurisdictions, lying about a crime is grounds to being punished for the same amount the criminal would get. Wanna try telling the truth?"



Allison burst into real tears and broke down and admitted that Jimmy and James didn't rape her, she just wanted $100 Million and revenge against Jimmy and James for both dumping her. She begged Jimmy and James to not countersue her. The Judge shook his head in disgust.



Jimmy and James both were like,"We just want your ass out of our lives for good!"



Axl smirked. The Judge dismissed the Lawsuit against Jimmy and James.



Allison was sentenced to a year in jail for perjury, libel, and false accusations. And forced to sign a restraining order forbidding her from ever contacting James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, Andy, and Axl ever again. She was taken into Custody.



Jimmy and James were beyond happy that Axl saved them from Allison's frivolous lawsuit. Andy, Mike and Billy were also happy. Axl and Cake Cream took last minute luxurious first class flights back to Hawaii and went back to their Hawaiian Hotel and ate, drank, and chilled. They were very happy.

Axl's phone rang; he wiped the cum off his fingers and answered.

"Axl, this is judge V; get down here immediately."

Axl cleaned off his "dirty Sanchez" moustache, dressed, then shook Billy's member and received a welcome spurt in return.

His Vespa purred enroute to the courthouse: what could be the problem?

"Axl, you obviously didn't learn your lesson last time you were before me; remember I had you jailed for a month for the unauthorized practice of law? Hell, I even had my boys work you over a bit just so you got the message, but the message appears to have fallen on deaf ears."

Judge V glowered at Axl, who had a smirk on his face.

"Judge V, I have his power of attorney so I AM his attorney; "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

The judge lifted then slammed down the copy of "Zen Flesh, Zen Bones" he kept on the bench, then bellowed "Bailiff !"

The two Katzenjammer twins came in, festooned with donut crumbs: "This man is obviously insane; send him to the mental asylum."

En route to the mental asylum Axl hummed, smiled, and shook his own hand.

They arrived.

Axl was processed and placed in a double occupancy cell; it had a rank odor and a piss covered floor.

A man was curled up on the lower bunk; he looked up at his new room mate: Axl smiled broadly when he saw it was the swarthy fellow from Maui.

"Are you ready to win?" the drooling room mate asked.

Axl shook his hand, saying "You bet" and his education began...

They enjoyed their stay in Hawaii. It was time to go back to Miami in a few more days. They checked out and left and went to Honolulu International Airport and got processed and had a luxurious first class experience again on the airplane.



They arrived in Miami and took a LYFT back home. They took deep naps after unpacking.



When they awoke, they saw that Fans were saying stuff like," Cake Cream is way to "Safe," it might be good if they had a Political edge. Cake Cream looked at Axl curiously.



Axl told them,"You guys don't need to get Political. You guys are fine the way you are."



Cake Cream still wondered if they should get Political to please those Fans.



Axl thought and thought. He said,"Maybe you guys can record "War," by Edwin Starr and just say,"Covid," instead of"War?" I mean, a lot of War could also be about Covid."



Cake Cream thought this was a good idea.



Axl smiled and wrote



Covid, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, uhh

Covid, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it again, Covid, huh (good God)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me, oh

Covid, I despise

'Cause it means destruction of innocent lives

Covid means tears to thousands of mother's eyes

When their sons and daughters get it

And lose their lives

I said, Covid, huh (good God, y'all)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, just say it again

War (whoa), huh (oh Lord)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me

It ain't nothing but a heart-breaker

(Covid) Friend only to The Undertaker

Oh, Covid it's an enemy to all mankind

The thought of Covid blows my mind

Covid has caused unrest

Within the younger generation

Induction then destruction

Who wants to die? Oh

Covid, huh (good God y'all)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing

Say it, say it, say it

Covid (uh-huh), huh (yeah, huh)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me

It ain't nothing but a heart-breaker

(Covid) It's got one friend that's The Undertaker

Oh, Covid, has shattered many a young person's dreams.

Made them disabled, bitter and mean

Life is much too short and precious

To spend time fighting Covid every day

Covid can't give life

It can only take it away, oh

Covid huh (good God y'all)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, say it again

Covid (whoa), huh (oh Lord)

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing, listen to me

It ain't nothing but a heart breaker

(Covid) Friend only to The Undertaker, woo

Please tell me Covid will be over very soon, please tell me we'll go back to how we used to live soon. There's gotta be a better life than Covid.

Covid, huh (God y'all)

What is it good for? You tell me (nothing)

Say it, say it, say it, say it

Covid (good God), huh (now, huh)

What is it good for?

Stand up and shout it (nothing)



Cake Cream loved this. Axl smiled. Axl and Cake Cream chilled until the next day. The next day they woke up, ate, and got ready for the day. They went to Claven Records and showed them the Covid Song.



Claven Records loved the Covid Song but pointed out they should pay to be able to sample War without being penalized. Claven Records said that they could set it up. Cake Cream and Axl agreed. Claven Records got in touch with some People from the Music Industry and Cake Cream and Axl were clear to pay to sample War without being penalized. Contracts were drawn up, read, understood, agreed and signed. Cake Cream and Axl paid to sample War. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and left.



Cake Cream at home recorded Covid and sounded good. James to make the Fans who wanted them to be Political even added some of Jimi Hendrix's Machine Gun guitar playing into Covid. It sounded amazing. But Axl reasoned that they could get into trouble for not paying to use some of Machine Gun.



Off to Claven Records again and they paid to sample Machine Gun too after a new Contract thing. They were offered a combined $10 Million for Covid Song. They agreed. They gave Covid Song to Claven Records and got Zelled the money.



They went back home.



Covid song (With a bit of Machine Gun) was a big hit on Itunes. Fans loved it. Cake Cream and Axl were happy.

Axl felt "funny:" headache, body aches, sore throat.

His home test said "covid," as did a test at a doctor's office.

Soon the entire band and all their entourage had covid.

Those who'd not been vaxed were soon bed-ridden; Billy was one of them.

Axl had taken the needles so his symptoms were transitory.

Axl peered down at Billy who was bare-ass naked, sweating profusely and groaning; then Billy went into convulsions, his body rising and falling violently.

Axl noticed a rip open up in Billy's stomach: tiny hands gripped the gash and out from inside Billy crawled a little man with something large and latex in his hand; standing on Billy's sternum he draped the latex construction over himself.

Axl gasped: the little man was festooned in a penis costume.

As Billy bled out Axl used his i-phone to video the little guy, who started to tap dance and do back flips.

Impressed and seeing a financial opportunity, Axl tried to capture the imp by covering him with a Ball jar, but failed; angered, the little guy squirted a viscous substance onto Axl's face.

Axl screamed in mortal agony as his face began to dissolve.

Dying, Axl shook the little prick's tiny paw and thanked him and the little prick told him he was welcome.

Axl chilled before his date with St. Peter, a date which did not end well for him at all.

Izzy called Axl's Cellphone and asked if he could give him the percentage of Royalties he would have gotten had he not quit.



Axl thought and thought and told Izzy to meet him at the Local Marriott tomorrow. Izzy agreed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Steven also called Axl's Cellphone and asked him if he could give him the percentage of Royalties he would have gotten had he not been fired. Axl thought and thought and told Steven to meet him at the Local Marriott tomorrow. Steven agreed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Axl told all of Cake Cream he was going to go to the Local Marriott alone for a couple of days.



Cake Cream were impressed he straight up told the truth right off the bat this time rather than the multiple lies about where he was really going like he done before.



They were fine with him going to the Local Marriott by himself for a couple of days. He smiled and packed his bags and put on a bulletproof vest and a motorcycle helmet.



He told them goodbye and they repeated it. He left and went to the Local Marriott. He booked a room and went up and chilled, anticipating tomorrow. He called both Izzy and Steven and told them the Room Number. They were excited.



The next day, Izzy and Steven showed up at Axl's Room. Axl let them in. Axl agreed to give them the Royalties percentage, which was $100 Million each. They were happy. He drew up Contracts and called a Marriott Manager to sign as a Witness. The Contract stated that Izzy would promise to never quit again and Steven promised to not do anything that would cause him to get fired again. Izzy and Steven read, understood, agreed and signed. Axl signed too and the Manager signed as Witness. Axl smiled and Zelled Steven and Izzy $100 Million each. They smiled. Axl smiled back.



They all thanked the Manager for signing as Witness and he welcomed them. He pointed out he was a huge Guns N'Roses Fan. They again thanked him and were welcomed.



He left. Izzy, Axl, and Steven hung out and chilled for a long while and then both left.

Izzy and Steven were talking loudly at a titty bar about how Axl had drawn up contracts; this was overheard by Judge V who was stuffing bills in a slut's g-string, and he was NOT amused.

Upon his return to the courthouse the jaded jurist met with the district attorney who then filed a criminal action against Axl for the unauthorized practice of law: a warrant was issued.

Two days later a team of US Marshalls tackled, arrested, and hauled Axl to jail while he was eating a strawbery blizzard at DQ.

"Why are you arresting me?"

Silence, then "Judge V will explain everything, now shut the fuck up asshole or I'll give you the George Floyd treatment."

The following Monday, after spending the weekend in jail, Axl appeared before Judge V.

"Axl, did you draw up contracts for Izzy and Steven?"

"Sure I did, using a power of attorney; I am a powerful attorney."

"No, you are a deluded fool. I've told you repeatedly that you are not an attorney and you cannot practice law. Five years hard labor."

Sometime later as the prison bars slammed behind him Axl realized that stories about practicing law should only be written by lawyers and those intimately faimiliar with the subject; it never ends well when quasi-illiterate amateurs spew vapid, inane stories about legal issues that are simply without any basis in fact, as is the case here.

Such authors should stick with what they know: in this case that would be limited to breathing in and out.

Axl was very disappointed with Tasha for being such an ignorant twat; he vowed never to smile at her or shake her hand again, and this made him happy; he chilled for the next five years, sans bulletproof vest and motorcycle helmet.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Izzy and Steven were talking loudly at a titty bar about how Axl had drawn up contracts; this was overheard by Judge V who was stuffing bills in a slut's g-string, and he was NOT amused.

Upon his return to the courthouse the jaded jurist met with the district attorney who then filed a criminal action against Axl for the unauthorized practice of law: a warrant was issued.

Two days later a team of US Marshalls tackled, arrested, and hauled Axl to jail while he was eating a strawbery blizzard at DQ.

"Why are you arresting me?"

Silence, then "Judge V will explain everything, now shut the fuck up asshole or I'll give you the George Floyd treatment."

The following Monday, after spending the weekend in jail, Axl appeared before Judge V.

"Axl, did you draw up contracts for Izzy and Steven?"

"Sure I did, using a power of attorney; I am a powerful attorney."

"No, you are a deluded fool. I've told you repeatedly that you are not an attorney and you cannot practice law. Five years hard labor."

Sometime later as the prison bars slammed behind him Axl realized that stories about practicing law should only be written by lawyers and those intimately faimiliar with the subject; it never ends well when quasi-illiterate amateurs spew vapid, inane stories about legal issues that are simply without any basis in fact, as is the case here.

Such authors should stick with what they know: in this case that would be limited to breathing in and out.

Axl was very disappointed with Tasha for being such an ignorant twat; he vowed never to smile at her or shake her hand again, and this made him happy; he chilled for the next fivie years, sans bulletproof vest and motorcycle helmet.

---

Actually, you don't have to be a Lawyer to draw up a Contract. I can draw up a Contract that states I'll give someone $250 for their pristine, unscratched First edition Beatles First Album. That someone signs, I sign, and we have two Witnesses that sign and affirm the Contract. I pay her the $250 and she gives me a copy and it's badly damaged, not the pristine, unscratched of the Beatles First Album Edition she signed for in the Contract. She keeps the pristine, unscratched First Album Edition. I could sue her for Fraud using the signed Contract. Court cases are filled with stuff ike this. Person didn't completely hold up their end of the Contracted deal, gets sued by Plaintiff.

Here’s a short list of activities that only lawyers may perform:

putting in appearances at court for a client
offering specific legal advice to an individual
conducting negotiations for settlement
drafting legal documents, other than just filling in blanks

Here’s a short list of activities that do not constitute the practice of law:

filling in the blanks of a standard form contract
preparing tax returns (without providing legal advice)
providing general information on estate planning

see:https://lawshelf.com/coursewareconte...ractice-of-law

Yeah, you don't need to be a lawyer to fill in blanks on a form contract, but you must be one to draft a contract, to advise others about it, and to negotiate related settlement terms.

Hell, I have "painted you a picture," clear as clear can be, and no doubt you'll scoff and write whatever drivel seems to fit your mood.

Axl couldn't believe he had given Steven and Izzy $100 Million each, on top of the $250 he had given to Cake Cream and the $3 Million he gave to Woodstock. He had given away $453 Million! He now only had about $247 Million left out of about $700 Million.



Axl wanted to recuperate some of his losses. He decided to do a risky thing. He decided to make an Axl Rose Album. Cake Cream had all gone to bed and Axl wrote a 10 song Album and went to a piano and sang and played on it for about an hour while singing the songs. It sounded good. He had record this into a cassette. He went to bed and slept.



The next day, he woke up early and ate and got ready for the day. He made a beeline to Claven Records and gave Claven Records the Axl Rose tape. Claven Records loved it and offered him $100 Million to sell it to him. Axl agreed. Contract was drawn up and Axl read, understood, agreed and signed. He got $100 Million Zelled to him.



He was excited.



He thanked Claven Records and was welcomed.



They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.



Axl went back home. Already Axl Rose's Bitter Sweets album went to number one on Itunes. Fans loved this.



Cake Cream were shocked that Axl made a Solo Album without telling any of them.



Axl blushed. He admitted he needed the money after giving away $453 Million.



Cake Cream admitted Bitter Sweets album sounded good.



Axl thanked them and was welcomed.



On Social Media,Fans were praising how good Bitter Sweets album was and were like,"Finally, Axl decided to go Solo! He's definitely got what it takes to be a Solo Artist! What a wonderful album!" "I wonder if Axl should leave Cake Cream to make more solo Albums." Cake Cream looked at him curiously.



Axl blushed. He went on Social Media and pointed out this album was a spur of the moment album. He pointed out he was not going to leave Cake Cream to make more solo Albums.



Cake Cream all smiled. Axl smiled back.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Here’s a short list of activities that only lawyers may perform:

putting in appearances at court for a client
offering specific legal advice to an individual
conducting negotiations for settlement
drafting legal documents, other than just filling in blanks

Here’s a short list of activities that do not constitute the practice of law:

filling in the blanks of a standard form contract
preparing tax returns (without providing legal advice)
providing general information on estate planning

see:https://lawshelf.com/coursewareconte...ractice-of-law

Yeah, you don't need to be a lawyer to fill in blanks on a form contract, but you must be one to draft a contract, to advise others about it, and to negotiate related settlement terms.

Hell, I have "painted you a picture," clear as clear can be, and no doubt you'll scoff and write whatever drivel seems to fit your mood.

---

Does this mean a Contract written between two parties and no Lawyer mean it's not legally binding? :confused: Like the People who sue like in the "Copy, badly damaged Beatles Album and not pristine, unscratched First Album Edition for The Beatles?" scenario ?

Judge V noticed Axl having Rob Singer fairy dust and was powerless to stop him after all.

Tasha, the issue is NOT whether the contract is valid; the issue is whether Axl engaged in the unauthorized practice of law (which he most certainly did).

Axl had a bright idea. He wondered if Cake Cream and he should make a new Album and put it under the name Cream Rose.



He told them his idea, and they were onboard. Axl wrote 10 brand new songs and called it Cream Rose. Axl and Mike sang all the songs in duets, Andy played Keyboard, Jimmy played Bass Guitar, James played Lead Guitar and Billy played drums. It sounded good. Axl suggested there be a rose made of cream for the album cover. Cake Cream agreed. They went to Claven Records and gave them Cream Rose by Cream Rose.



Claven Records loved it and offered them $200 Million for Cream Rose. They agreed and Contracts were drawn, read, understood agreed and signed. Claven Records Zelled them a combined $200 Million. They thanked Claven Records and were welcomed. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and left.



They went to a bar and had wings, fries, and Pepsi. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and having fun and relaxed, enjoying each other's company. Fans asked them for Autographs and Selfies and they obliged. The Fans smiled and they smiled back.



At the bar, Cream Rose's Cream Rose Album was already hitting number one on Itunes. Fans loved it. Cake Cream and Axl were happy. After the bar, they went home.



At home, they chatted, watched TV and chilled.



Claven Records called them and told them Fans REALLY wanted to see them perform live again.



Cake Cream and Axl were skeptical due to the attempted bombing, but they didn't like letting down their Fans. They told Claven Records they weren't sure they should go back to live shows after the attempted bombing, but they also didn't like letting their fans down. They said they'd need to think about it. Claven Records said they understood. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.



Cake Cream and Axl continued chatting and chilling.



They soon got ready for bed and went to sleep.



They woke up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. Social Media were praising Cream Rose Album. They were like,"Wow, the Cream Rose Album is such a good album! One of the best albums of the year! Cake Cream and Axl are a good group!"



Cream Rose blushed. Cream Rose Album really was a good Album. Axl and Cake Cream made a wonderful Team.



On Social Media, Fans were begging Cream Rose to do Cream Rose Album live. They said it would make them happy.



Cream Rose stomachs all turned into knots. Their Fans really wanted to see them perform live. They were working for the Fans.



Axl took a deep breath and said,"I think we should make our Fans happy and perform live again, just hire bomb experts."



The rest of Cream Rose agreed.



They all told Fans that they would be performing live again soon.



The Fans responded that they were happy to hear that. Cream Rose all smiled.



Cream Rose chilled until the next day.



The next day, they hired Bomb experts and decided to do an impromptu show later on that day and charged $25 a ticket. They wore bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and practiced for the impromptu show and then it was time for the show. Lots of Cream Rose Fans showed up. They performed behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and the show was good. Fans were happy and they were happy too. The final sendoff happened to wild cheering. The show was over.



Cream Rose were happy they decided to come back live for their Fans. They went to an Italian restaurant to celebrate them being back live. Fans were happy they came back live. They asked Cream Rose for Selfies and Autographs and they obliged. The Fans were happy and thanked them and were welcomed. The Fans went back to their own tables. They had a nice dinner and paid and left and went back home.

Axl had eaten way too much cheese when they ate Italian; he became very constipated.

Pills did not work, nor did anything else free the internal "logjam" which so troubled him.

Fnally, on the third day of bloating, pain, and no BM's he asked Billy to do him a big favor; Billy agreed, they both shook hands and smiled.

Billy got a tablespoon from the kitchen drawer; Axl dropped trou and told his lover to "start digging, and don't stop til you hit China."

Ever helpful, Billy dug in and soon had spooned out over three pounds of hard feces: it was a slow process and it exhausted Billy.

With more work yet to go, Axl called the ladies from the "Two girls and a cup" video and they soon came over and finished the job and then chowed down, videoing the entire process.

The video soon had over one billion views and producers of porn clamored for more.

Axl, Billy and the two girls decided to form a partnership; Axl hand wrote a three line contract with crayon on a napkin which they all signed, then they went out to the Italian restaurant where Axl pigged out.

"It's all for my art" he said between forkfuls of lasagne, "and allows me to produce tokens of my affection for my fans."

They smiled, chilled, and continued to breathe in, out, in, out: Billy lost the cadence and had to stop and start over but they all agreed that the shade of blue his face turned suited him.

Axl listened to Burgundy by Earl Sweatshirt and loved it. He wondered if he should make a cover of it and just alter some offensive lyrics



He told the rest of Cream Rose his idea and they were wary of him covering a Rap song, but wanted to support him. They were like,"This is risky, but as long as you alter the offensive lyrics, it shouldn't be all that bad. "



Axl smiled and suggested Billy play the drums, Mike rap "Cut that Punk off!" refrain, Andy play the keyboard, James play lead guitar, and Jimmy play bass guitar.

Axl wrote



What's up, champ?
Why you so depressed and sad all the time like a little punk?
What's the problem man? Champs want to hear you rap
Don't nobody care about how you feel
We want raps, champ
My grandma's passin'
But I'm too busy tryin' to get this damn album crackin' too see her
So I apologize in advance if anything should happen


Cut that punk off

And my priorities messed up, I know it, I'm afraid I'm gonna blow it
And all them expectations raising because daddy was a poet, right?
Talk all you want I'm takin' no advice
Champ, I'm about to relish in this anguish
I'm stressin' over payment, so don't tell me that I made it


Cut that punk off

Only relatively famous in the midst of a tornado
Misfitted, I'm not able, I'm not stable
Abrasive as hell and they all pay me
I'm chucklin', laughing to myself in public


Cut that Punk off

Heart racin' so blood is leaked, like I don't give a damn right?

Hey, Thebe, what's up Champ? I heard you back, I need those raps, Champ? I need the verse, and I don't care about what you're going through, or what you gotta do, Champ. I need bars, sixteen of them.

I don't mess with too much of y'all's crap
Judging by the pants and the mall grip
Gully, in the vans with the dark tints
I'm a start crap type Champ


Cut that Punk off

Night life livin'
Ridin' in the jeep, I'm a side-swipe champs
What's your life like? It's aiight champ
Hammer in the left, Freddie what's the price of it?
Ridin' with the whip and I ain't got the license for it
Jill's got me livin like my life is golden
Sittin' on my sofa feeling chill and dormant
If we could dance again while Mike records it
what the hell you starin' at?



Cut that Punk off

Acting like you've never seen a dancing fool
Bars hotter than the blocks we be at
Stunt on these champs, they flop like Divac
See that champ?
For the time being, I'm a be that champ
Believe that champ, you see that champ?
For the time being I'm a be that champ
Believe that, champ


Cut that Punk off

They made the Burgundy cover. It sounded good. They went to Claven Records and gave them the Burgundy cover and Claven Records loved it, but suggested they get permission and pay for the Burgundy cover. They got the permission and paid for the Burgundy cover and read, understood, agreed and signed Contracts. They were Zelled 10 million each for the Burgundy song. They thanked Claven Records and were welcomed.



They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and left.



Already, the Burgundy cover hit number one on Itunes and Fans loved it. Cream Rose Critics criticized 6 White Boys covering an African American's Rap Song, but the Fans were like,"Shut up! Cream Rose sounds good and they altered all offensive lyrics!"



Cream Rose blushed shyly and happily.

Meanwhile, down in da ghetto, the natives were getting restless.

"We niggas can't let these mutha-fuckin crackers take our music" yelled one spear chucker between pulls on his MD 20-20 bottle; "Our lives matter and so does our music !"

"Damn straight, we needs reparations" brayed a crack smoking brutha.

The homies all shot up whatever was at hand simultaneously to show their support, then bailed into their stolen cars and motored to DQ where the members of Cream Rose were celebrating.

Gunfire erupted from the riotous crowd: Mac-10's, AR's, Sig Sauers: hundreds of rounds were fired.

All missed.

Axl heard some noise and saw the horde of angry blacks outside.

"I say, whatever is the matter with those nattering nabobs of niggativity?"

He continued to enjoy his strawberry blizzard while carnage erupted outside.

Cars were turned over and set on fire; the DQ was hit with several molotov cocktails and started to burn.

"Time to go, lads" said Axl.

Outside they were surrounded by a see of angry black faces; hoping to placate them Axl said "Anyone want some water melon?"

Oops.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Meanwhile, down in da ghetto, the natives were getting restless.

"We niggas can't let these mutha-fuckin crackers take our music" yelled one spear chucker between pulls on his MD 20-20 bottle; "Our lives matter and so does our music !"

"Damn straight, we needs reparations" brayed a crack smoking brutha.

The homies all shot up whatever was at hand simultaneously to show their support, then bailed into their stolen cars and motored to DQ where the members of Cream Rose were celebrating.

Gunfire erupted from the riotous crowd: Mac-10's, AR's, Sig Sauers: hundreds of rounds were fired.

All missed.

Axl heard some noise and saw the horde of angry blacks outside.

"I say, whatever is the matter with those nattering nabobs of niggativity?"

---

What the fuck V!?!?!?!?!?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MisterV

Meanwhile, down in da ghetto, the natives were getting restless.

"We niggas can't let these mutha-fuckin crackers take our music" yelled one spear chucker between pulls on his MD 20-20 bottle; "Our lives matter and so does our music !"

"Damn straight, we needs reparations" brayed a crack smoking brutha.

The homies all shot up whatever was at hand simultaneously to show their support, then bailed into their stolen cars and motored to DQ where the members of Cream Rose were celebrating.

Gunfire erupted from the riotous crowd: Mac-10's, AR's, Sig Sauers: hundreds of rounds were fired.

All missed.

Axl heard some noise and saw the horde of angry blacks outside.

"I say, whatever is the matter with those nattering nabobs of niggativity?"

He continued to enjoy his strawberry blizzard while carnage erupted outside.

Cars were turned over and set on fire; the DQ was hit with several molotov cocktails and started to burn.

"Time to go, lads" said Axl.

Outside they were surrounded by a see of angry black faces; hoping to placate them Axl said "Anyone want some water melon?"

Oops.

---

I changed all offensive lyrics in Burgundy by Earl Sweatshirt, the most notably being the infamous N Word which Earl and Vince(Both African Americans who came from the Hood, but they say "Igga," and not "Igger," say repeatedly. I changed the N word to Champ, so it's not offensive at all. ;) I knew that there was no way a White guy like Axl saying,"Igga," would go over well nowadays, and I also changed more of Earl's lyrics such as him saying he was cross faded in public meaning high on drugs in public (laughing to myself in public was what I changed it to) and him saying,"We could smoke another blunt," to "We could dance again,"

In fact, here's a link to Burgundy by Earl Sweatshirt. There's no way White boy Axl could get away with rapping this nowadays the same way Earl and Vince did.

https://genius.com/Earl-sweatshirt-burgundy-lyrics

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mcap

What the fuck V!?!?!?!?!?

---

Hey mcap, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain, he was a rogue, a bounder, who overpowered me and seized control of my computer to post his scurrilous screed.

I'm not REALLY a card-carrying, KKK robe-wearing racist; I was simply using whatever weapons were at hand to shake Tasha to her core and perhaps thus lead to an epiphany.

Alas, she's still brain dead.

Mr V, I'll let you in on a little secret. my Fictional Axl Rose story is already pre written and is on multiple Websites. Due to the posting limit imposed on me that is still in effect, I can't post the parts all concurrently on here like I'd be able to do on most Websites.

Great, you'll dole out your jibberish in bits and drabs.

They ate and got ready for bed and went to sleep.



The next day, they woke up, ate, and got ready for the day . James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy wanted to go see a few movies and asked Axl and Billy if they wanted to come with them. Axl wanted to go, but Billy wanted to stay home and do Cocaine. Cream Rose shook their head, but it was agreed that Billy could do Cocaine as long as it was in the house. Billy smiled and the rest of Cream Rose went to see movie.



Billy put a pizza in the oven and snorted Cocaine, took some Subutex, and fell asleep, forgetting he had a pizza in the oven.



When he woke up, the house was on fire! No! Billy cried horrified! He called Axl and frightfully told him what he'd done.



"Oh my God, Axl cried worried for Billy's safety. "I want you to leave the house immediately and come to the movie theater where we are. We can claim you were at the movie theater when the house caught on fire."



Billy was crying. "Please don't tell anyone what happened."



Axl sighed. "My top concern for you is your safety, not telling anyone else what happened."



Billy heeded Axl's advice and ran out of the house and went to the movie theater.



Axl said happily,"You survived! " He then quickly said,"You arrived!"

Axl embraced him in a "I'm glad you're okay!" Hug! Billy was shaken.



Andy, Mike, Jimmy, and James looked at Billy and Axl curiously, but Axl just shook his head and was like,"Let's just be happy Billy decided to go see movies with us!"



They watched a couple of more movies and Jimmy, Andy, Mike and James wanted to go home.



"No!" Axl and Billy cried in unison, panic looks on both of their faces!



James, Jimmy, Andy and Mike wanted to know why Billy and Axl were so reluctant to go home.



Billy burst into tears. Axl wrapped his arms around him. Axl said,"Why don't we all just go to the local Marriott?"



Billy thanked him for his suggestion. Axl welcomed him Jimmy, James, Mike and Andy were confused on what the hell was going on.



Axl said something like,"What's so special about our house anyway? It's just a regular house. Hotels are more fun anyways!"



Billy had a guilty look on his face.



Jimmy was like,"Why do you look so guilty, Billy?" Billy looked at the ground.



James said ,"Billy, what's going on?" Billy ran and hopped in a Taxi to the Local Marriott and made a last minute booking.



He settled in to his room and he soon heard knocks on his door.



Billy didn't answer. He knew who it was. James, Jimmy, Mike Andy, and Axl.



He pretended no one was in his room.



Mike spoke,"William Anderson Parks you open this door right now, or we'll break it down!"



Billy gulped and knew he had to face the music.



He nervously opened the door. Andy, Mike, James and Jimmy looked furious, whereas Axl looked more understanding.



"What the hell is going on? " Mike asked. Jimmy, James and Andy also wanted to know.



Billy looked at the ground.



Mike said,"We agreed to be more open with each other,"



Axl wrapped his arms around Billy. "Just tell them the truth," Axl said soothingly.



Billy took a deep breath and said,"The house caught on fire after I put a pizza in the oven, snorted Cocaine, took some Subutex and fell asleep. I forgot the pizza was in the oven.



You mean you burned our house down? Mike was alarmed. Jimmy, James, and Andy were also alarmed.



Axl pointed out that it was a mistake. Billy looked at Axl gratefully.



Jimmy was like,"Our livelihood is in our house! The guitars, the drums, the keyboard are all burned thanks to you, you have ruined our Career!" James, Mike, and Andy backed up Jimmy.



Axl was like,"Whoa, we should just be grateful that Billy didn't burn to death in the house and is still alive! We can replace the guitars, the drums, and the keyboard, but we can't replace Billy." Billy smiled shyly.



James, Jimmy, Andy and Mike reluctantly agreed that Billy was more important than the musical instruments. Mike called the fire department from a working payphone as an anonymous tip and sent them to their house.



The Fire Department went to the house and stopped the fire that luckily only engulfed the house and nothing else.



Billy's burned house went viral on YouTube. Cream Rose decided to book some days at the hotel.

Billy snorted some cocaine, took Subutex, showered, dried his flowing mane and forgot to turn the hair dryer off: then he passed out.

The hair dryer overheated, melted, and caught fire; soon the suite, then the floor, then the entire Marriott was on fire.

The fire alarms and the sprinkler system didn't work due to the technicians who installed and maintained them being drug-addicted clowns with a love of cocaine and Subutex who would rather snort than work competently, if at all.

All of the firemen had snorted cocaine and taken Subutex as well at the start of their shift, and all were passed out in the fire house: their lack of response to the fire proved to be quite problematical.

The conflagration quickly spread to adjoining buildings and then to adjoining city blocks, roaring and consuming everything in sight.

Unchecked, the flames soon burned the city to the ground.

All of the members of Cream Rose perished in the fire, as did over twenty thousand others; most of them had taken cocaine and Subutex and were passed out and thus unaware of the fire and of their resultant demise.

Ultimately the cause of the fire was determined: "Coke snortin' douchebag" became synonymous with "Mrs. O'Leary's cow."

There were investigations being done on Billy's burned down house and it was determined that the cause of the fire was bad electrical wiring.



Cream Rose breathed sighs of relief. Billy wouldn't be getting arrested and jailed for Arson!



Cream Rose ordered Room Service and ate, drank, and chilled.



Axl said,"Let's all agree to not tell anyone else what REALLY caused the fire. We don't want Billy getting arrested and jailed for Arson. We wanna protect Billy, not help him get arrested and jailed."

Cream Rose agreed to keep this their little secret.

Billy and Axl had a room and everyone else had their own rooms. They soon fell asleep. In the middle of the night, Billy woke up, craving Cocaine badly. His body was screaming for it. He knew Axl would disapprove of him snorting Cocaine anywhere but the house, but the house was burned down and he needed to snort Cocaine ASAP. He left the room and went to the streets looking for a drug dealer. He found one and the Drug Dealer sold him Cocaine and Subutex. He thanked him and was welcomed. He went back to the hotel room. He snorted the Cocaine and felt satisfied. He then took the Subutex. He fell asleep.

The next day, Cream Rose woke up, ate and got ready for the day. On Social Media, Posters were wondering about Cream Rose not being home when the house burned.

Cream Rose responded,"It's a good thing we weren't home when the house burned."

There were more skeptical Social Media posts and Axl claimed that Cream Rose was at the movie theaters working on a new song.

Fans wanted to hear this supposed new song.

Axl replied that they would perform the new song at the bar later that day. Fans were excited to hear this supposed new song.

Axl wrote an updated version of Come together and just put a bunch of Pop Culture references and other nonsense.

He wrote

"Here come old Doobie brothers, here come old black water that keep rolling.

Here come one Fire cracker, he one Mighty Morphin power ranger, he one mighty park ranger, he watch Stranger Things, he watch YouTube, he post on Twitter. He watch Netflix, he watch Game Of Thrones."

Come Together, right now, over me.

He 7 feet tall, he one giant, he says 5 and 5 is 10, now he's gonna hang 10 on an ocean wave.

Come together, right now, over me.

He eat at McDonald's, he go to Disney World and shake hands with Mickey, he drive a Jeep, he one cool cat.



Come together right now over me.



He drink Coca Cola, he stay at Marriott Hotel. He listen to Cream Rose songs.

Come together right now over me "

He got two eyes, he got one nose, he got one mouth."

Come together, right now, over me.

"I'm your Brother, I'm your Friend, we're one great Family.

Come together, right now, over me.

Axl had to chuckle at the nonsense he had just written and knew it was in the same vein as Come Together by The Beatles.

Cream Rose also chuckled.

They made plans to display this song at the bar soon.

They got ready and Mike and Axl performed the duet at the bar and Fans loved it. They loved the updated and modern lyrics. There were laughter and wild cheering.

Jimmy, James, Andy, and Billy also enjoyed the Duet. Mike and Axl smiled and got off the stage. Cream Rose had been wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. They had Coke Soda and rum and were in a happy mood.

One of the Cream Rose members was jealous of the hummers Billy got from Axl so he called the fire inspector and told him what REALLY caused the fire.

The inspector returned to the fire scene and confirmed this new information.

Billy was then arrested, charged, and convicted of "CAFWFU" i.e. "causing a fire while fucked up."

The local jail was filled with the January 6th convicts, so as punishment Billy was consigned to the dunking stool.

The local children threw stones at him, trying to hit his head: many succeeded.

Axl got in a few shots, as did the members of Cream Rose.

Billy was a bloody mess, but he smiled, shook their hands, thanked them all and they welcomed him.

Covered in water and blood, hoisted up and down on a forty degree day, Billy chilled.

Mr. V, I'm surprised how close part of your story is to the next chapter. ;) You know the game of hot/cold, meaning cold means you're far away from object and hot meaning you're very close? ;) Well, part of your story is BURNING hot so to speak. ;)

Tasha got on the bus en route to the casino; the only empty seat was next to Axl.

Nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof, Tasha asked him "Is this seat taken?"

Axl looked up from the bestiality videos he was viewing on his i-phone; he looked her over and said "Does it look like it?"

This surprised Tasha; she looked carefully at and under the seat, then said "No, it looks empty."

She sat down.

Axl eyed the dog porn on his phone, then had an idea.

He asked her "Do you know who I am?"

Tasha responded "Yes, you're Axl."

She was perspiring.

"That's right. Say, I was thinking that I need to fuck somebody; do you wanna fuck me?"

"Sure, but what about Billy, your boy friend?"

"He's on the dunking stool as we speak, dear lady, and my loins just won't be denied."

They adjourned to the tiny, nasty smelling bathroom in the back of the bus and quickly accomplished a zipless fuck.

Axl sat back down in his seat, fired up his i-phone again and studiously ignored Tasha.

Ah, but she smiled knowingly, as she was at that moment made aware by her body that her egg had just been fertilized and she was now carrying his love child.

She got off at the casino, and smiling at Axl said "I'll see you in nine months or so."

Axl ignored her.

They were having fun at the bar, but still the lingering doubts and uncertainty about Billy's house being accidentally burned down and what would happen if Billy was found to be the culprit. Although the cause of the fire was investigated to be bad electrical wiring, they all knew there was a chance Billy could still be caught. They also had no home to sleep in anymore. They were fuced if it was revealed that Billy accidentally caused the fire. They also had no home to go back to. They were fuced. After the bar, they went to the hotel.



Axl thanked God he had digitally stored all the Contracts and they weren't just paper Contracts. Cream Rose was grateful too.



Billy snuggled to Axl asking him to comfort him. He felt traumatized. Axl obliged him and comforted him, knowing that Billy needed his comfort and support.



Axl caressed Billy's hair and said,"Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go now?" Billy smiled a little, through his traumatization. He was grateful he had Axl who loved him. Cream Rose also comforted Billy.Billy was also glad he had Andy, Mike, James and Jimmy who also loved him. Billy fell asleep.



Cream Rose wondered what they would do. Billy was sure to become in big trouble with the law if the pizza was found to be the real cause of the fire, not bad electrical wiring.



On the news, there was movie theater surveillance that showed that Billy, in fact, showed up later to the movie theater than the rest of Cream Rose, like HOURS later. Billy no longer had an airtight alibi, although the rest of Cream Rose did.



No! Jimmy, Axl, Andy, Mike, and James cried in unison again. Billy was sure to be the number one Suspect with this new public info. They woke up Billy and told him the bad news.



No! Billy cried horrified. Billy said,"You guys will still protect me, right? Cream Rose looked at each other uneasily, but they knew they had promised to protect Billy. Billy would have protected either one of them if any of them were in Billy's position.



There was a Star Wars Convection going on and Axl, wearing a disguise and makeup that covered all of his tattoos bought 6 Darth Vader Costumes. His plan was to disguise himself and Cream Rose as Darth Vader, hiding Billy from the Authorities. He told them to all meet him at a secluded place and they agreed. At the secluded place, he gave all of them the Darth Vader Costumes and they went to the Star Wars Convection as Darth Vader. Problem was, LOTS of other People were also Darth Vader, not surprisingly. They decided to stay close to each other in order to not get separated. This was when Cream Rose's penchant for being really close to each other came in handy.



They were entertained at the Star Wars Convection , looking like any other Darth Vader Fan. The Convection was over later and the 6 of them were able to walk into a Walgreens and put money on reloadable gift cards, and not look out of place due to the Star Wars Convection. They soon left. There were more Darth Vader Fans close by.



Cream Rose actually made a plan to send Billy on the run, and Billy agreed. Cream Rose said their goodbyes to Billy, and he said them back, and Billy went to the crowd of other Darth Vader Fans and soon ran off into the night, undetected. Axl, Jimmy, James, Andy and Mike were glad Billy was able to get away.



The news later that night pointed out that Billy was officially on the run and was a Fugitive.



Axl's phone rang and "Unknown Caller," popped up on his Cellphone. Axl knew who it was.



He answered. Billy said," I love you, Axl. Axl smiled and repeated it back. Billy and Axl made kissing noises over the phone, the implication clear. Billy said,"I'm at a payphone, I gotta run."



Axl told him, "I understand."



They quickly both hung up.



Cream Rose couldn't believe that Billy was a Fugitive on the run. Technically, this was worse than when Axl was a Fugitive on the run since they all knew where Axl was and Axl was being hidden at Billy's house, which was now burned down. Oh, the bittersweet memories.

Tasha beamed with pride as she pushed her newborn child into Judge V's chambers; they had been cordial toward one another for many years, ever since he'd represented her before his ascent to the bench.

She had claimed to have been physically and sexually abused for years by various foster parents and while the jury awarded her nothing ("liiars never prosper" said the jury foreman) V did at least get a blow job for his troubles.

"Well now, what have we here?" asked his honor.

"It's my son, I call him "Axl."

They chilled, smiled, smoked Kentucky Cheroots then got down to brass tacks.

"Judge V, I need your help; I need to go after the father of my child to establish paternity and of course to collect as much child support as I can."

Judge V smiled, thinking "I trained you well, grasshopper."

"And who is the young man?"

"Well, he's not really that young..." and she went off on a tangent, telling the jaded jurist about time travel, doppelgangers, and strawberry blizzards.

"Now Tasha, I cannot help you myself, as much as I might want to, 'cause I'm a judge now; but my son can help you if you'd like."

Tasha knew nothing of the judge's progeny but she graciously accepted the offer.

"He's out chasing ambulances and handing out his card to accident victims at the hospital, but I'll have him call you tomorrow."

With that the judge let out a truly obliterating fart; he guffawed and said "Gotcha!"

They smiled and shook hands; she thanked the judge and he welcomed her.

On the way home Tasha dreamed of how her life was about to change...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ilovebigknockers

Natashathan pushed down one slat of her miniblinds to check if the man was still outside. He was. She had turned off all the lights in the house, save for the light inside the toaster oven where she was cooking a single serving no-contact boxed pizza. She farted softly. The man stood stock still about 5 yards from the house, directly across from her bedroom window. His face was obscured by a garrish plastic Axl Rose Halloween mask and a cheap costume wig. His left arm dangled at his side, his right held an ominous red helium balloon on a string.

She stepped away from the window to attend to her pizza. When she came back to the window with a greasy paper plate in hand she gulped before pushing down the slat again. There he was, 2 yards closer and now holding 2 helium balloons. Natashathan screamed with all her breath, "What do you want???"

Suddenly her phone vibrated. There was a new text message from an unknown number. It read, "boo." She looked again and there he was now a mere foot away from the window. In both hands he held dozens of helium balloons. She had never been more scared in her life and instinctively took a huge bite of her pizza to comfort herself. Unfortunately it was too big, and she began to choke. With no one in the house to perform the Heimlich maneuver, she perished.

THE END

---

Too bad ILBK has left us without going on about the lotto forums. Those must be interesting stories for Axl.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ilovebigknockers

Natashathan pushed down one slat of her miniblinds to check if the man was still outside. He was. She had turned off all the lights in the house, save for the light inside the toaster oven where she was cooking a single serving no-contact boxed pizza. She farted softly. The man stood stock still about 5 yards from the house, directly across from her bedroom window. His face was obscured by a garrish plastic Axl Rose Halloween mask and a cheap costume wig. His left arm dangled at his side, his right held an ominous red helium balloon on a string.

She stepped away from the window to attend to her pizza. When she came back to the window with a greasy paper plate in hand she gulped before pushing down the slat again. There he was, 2 yards closer and now holding 2 helium balloons. Natashathan screamed with all her breath, "What do you want???"

Suddenly her phone vibrated. There was a new text message from an unknown number. It read, "boo." She looked again and there he was now a mere foot away from the window. In both hands he held dozens of helium balloons. She had never been more scared in her life and instinctively took a huge bite of her pizza to comfort herself. Unfortunately it was too big, and she began to choke. With no one in the house to perform the Heimlich maneuver, she perished.

THE END

---

Too bad ILBK has left us without going on about the lotto forums. Those must be interesting stories for Axl.

---

Ilovebigknockers was just weird, joining JUST to rag and drag me. In MANY websites, joining a Website with the sole purpose of ragging and dragging a Long Time Member is grounds for an automatic ban.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tasha

Ilovebigknockers was just weird, joining JUST to rag and drag me. In MANY websites, joining a Website with the sole purpose of ragging and dragging a Long Time Member is grounds for an automatic ban.

---

Ah, but that is NOT the case at this forum; he ain't weird, he's just "contributing."

Ilovebigknockers responded to my request that other forum viewers jump into the hot tub here and contribute whatever bit of whimsy crosses their mind in regard to your ongoing saga of mediocrity and ridiculousness.

Tasha, I don't know how much thought you gave to your song of stupidity, but I simply "read and react."

Am I ragging and dragging you too, and should I be banned for it?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tasha

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by theywontpayontuesday

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ilovebigknockers

Natashathan pushed down one slat of her miniblinds to check if the man was still outside. He was. She had turned off all the lights in the house, save for the light inside the toaster oven where she was cooking a single serving no-contact boxed pizza. She farted softly. The man stood stock still about 5 yards from the house, directly across from her bedroom window. His face was obscured by a garrish plastic Axl Rose Halloween mask and a cheap costume wig. His left arm dangled at his side, his right held an ominous red helium balloon on a string.

She stepped away from the window to attend to her pizza. When she came back to the window with a greasy paper plate in hand she gulped before pushing down the slat again. There he was, 2 yards closer and now holding 2 helium balloons. Natashathan screamed with all her breath, "What do you want???"

Suddenly her phone vibrated. There was a new text message from an unknown number. It read, "boo." She looked again and there he was now a mere foot away from the window. In both hands he held dozens of helium balloons. She had never been more scared in her life and instinctively took a huge bite of her pizza to comfort herself. Unfortunately it was too big, and she began to choke. With no one in the house to perform the Heimlich maneuver, she perished.

THE END

---

Too bad ILBK has left us without going on about the lotto forums. Those must be interesting stories for Axl.

---

Ilovebigknockers was just weird, joining JUST to rag and drag me. In MANY websites, joining a Website with the sole purpose of ragging and dragging a Long Time Member is grounds for an automatic ban.

---

What did you do to piss him off? The whole idea of there being so many stupid people out there enough to participate in something just completely random and yet somehow they are serious.

I'm still here darlings. We on the lotto forum get a kick out of TashaNathanKarenKariceDonathanEtc in all her various disguises and have our own fun with her. Mr.V has his fans there as well. Had I known the sock queen herself was missing me, I would have posted more. Here's a little something to tide you over Tash.

-----

Axl sauntered in to the 24-hour CVS and grabbed a hand cart from the floor. His favorite employee Karen had been derelict in her hand cart stacking duties. This one had soiled diaper in it, toddler size he estimated, but he didn't mind. He carfully folded it and sealed it with the tabs and tucked it into his backpack. This might come in handy later, he mused, like Checkov's gun, except a diaper instead of a gun.

He espied an old lady perusing the greeting card section and, with full knowledge that she was not an employee, asked her where the genital wart cream aisle was and if she was the staff nurse who would help him apply it. The old lady farted and scooted away before breaking into a full run out of the aisle. The scent she left behind was classic old lady toot with a hint of stale perfume. Delicious, Axl thought. But back to the matter at hand: Where was Karen?

Axl walked the aisles slowly, putting items in his cart randomly, only to take them out in another aisle and reshelf them randomly where they clearly did not belong. A box of condoms hanging with on the same hook as crayons, a box of kleenex stacked with the breakfast cereals, and his magnum opus, a jug of bleach tucked in the refrigerator case behind the 3 liter Cokes. That'll give Karen something to do, he mused.

Suddenly he heard a fart behind him. He smelled her signature scent before he saw his prey: Karen.

"You miss me fatso?" she crooned in a gravelly baritone.

"When do you get off work?" Axl responded plaintively. He tossed his backpack off and was already taking his pants off.

"Nunya fat lesbian business." Karen said

By now, all 3.6 inches of Axl's manhood was as hard as it would ever be. He waived a $10 bill in the air. "I'll drive you to the slots afterwards, what do you say?" Axl asked, trying to sweeten the deal.

Just as Karen was about to respond, the old lady from the greeting card aisle showed up. Her face was red with rage. In her left hand was a red helium balloon and in her right was an open face soiled toddler sized diaper. Axl's heart froze. He glanced at in the direction of where he had tossed his backpack and saw that it was open and its contents scattered over the aisle.

"Open wide fatso!" the old lady screamed.

Karen yawned theatrically and said "Back off, bitch, the money is mine !"

The feisty octogenarian would take no sass from a lowly, piece of shit Walgreens drone; "I don't care if he does have genital warts; hell, I have them too."

With that she shoved Karen into the Lume crotch deodorant display (apt) and with her rival out of the way she looked lovingly into Axl's eyes and remembering how sex wasn't really THAT bad, and needing ten bucks, she swallowed and said "Do me. But hang on, I need to pick the scabs first and let them run."

Karen climbed out of the fallen display and lumbered toward the gray haired vixen, saying "He's mine."

Flattered yet flatulant, Axl passed gas to the tune of "Yankee Doodle Dandy" and then thanked himself and gave himself a quick golf clap.

The women squared off; soon they were pulling each other's hair, biting, scratching and slapping each other silly.

Axl wandered off to look at the Oreos; while Karen was distracted he slipped a couple packages down the front of his pants.

Soon a blanket of quiet descended; Axl wandered back and saw the old lady was laid out in aisle three, knocked out cold, and he noted that Karen was huffing and puffing like a steam engine.

"Well, I beat her ass, so now let's fuck and then you can take me to the casino and give me that ten bucks, like you promised."

They did, he did, and they lived miserably ever after.

Karen and Axl were sitting in the waiting room of the fertility clinic waiting to hear the results of Axl's sperm count test. Last month the doc had said that due to Axl's age, lesbian appearance, and promiscuous homosexual lifestyle and prior to marrying Karen, his balls no longer produced enough swimmers to knock up the woman he'd settled for in his twilight years. A nurse beckoned them to the examination room.

"I'm afraid your only option is sperm donation. Do you know anyone dumb enough to let you two imbeciles raise their biological progeny?" Dr. Fiddycent asked.

Karen and Axl yelled in unison, "Billy!"

The drove to the halfway house where Billy was staying after being released from prison for arson. Billy gave them a sample, chatted for a while, shook hands, and gave Axl a blow job for old time's sake before they all said their good-byes. Next, Axl and Karen headed to the dollar mart to get a cheap turkey baster. They sneaked into the stock room and did what Dr. Fiddycent had instructed them to do with the goo and the turkey baster.

"Let's go to the liquor store to celebrate," suggested Karen.

"But babe, we don't want the baby to come out all retarded and stuff," Axl reminded her. "I'll drink for both of us and you get yourself some lotto tickets."

Karen bought $165 worth of Mega Millions and a $50 scratcher. Later that night, she watched the drawing while snuggled up to Axl. To her shock and amazement, she had the winning ticket. She promptly spent it all at Chinook Passing Wind Casino and the Indians shooked her hand and thanked her for her generous contribution to the tribal coffers.

Nine months later Karen shat out her and Billy's son, whom Axl, Karen, and Billy named Nathan, after nobody in particular and certainly not after that Nathan.

"I've been thinking, and I really don't want to be a mother," Karen told Axl the morning after becoming a mother. "Ima let you and Billy have this one. You deserve it. Yours is a love story for the ages and you two are soul mates. I think I want to become a writer and this baby will just hold me back." And with that, she let out a hot post-partum fart and got on the next bus, never to be seen again.

They were having fun at the bar, but still the lingering doubts and uncertainty about Billy's house being accidentally burned down and what would happen if Billy was found to be the culprit. Although the cause of the fire was investigated to be bad electrical wiring, they all knew there was a chance Billy could still be caught. They also had no home to sleep in anymore. They were fuced if it was revealed that Billy accidentally caused the fire. They also had no home to go back to. They were fuced. After the bar, they went to the hotel.



Axl thanked God he had digitally stored all the Contracts and they weren't just paper Contracts. Cream Rose was grateful too.



Billy snuggled to Axl asking him to comfort him. He felt traumatized. Axl obliged him and comforted him, knowing that Billy needed his comfort and support.



Axl caressed Billy's hair and said,"Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go now?" Billy smiled a little, through his traumatization. He was grateful he had Axl who loved him. Cream Rose also comforted Billy.Billy was also glad he had Andy, Mike, James and Jimmy who also loved him. Billy fell asleep.



Cream Rose wondered what they would do. Billy was sure to become in big trouble with the law if the pizza was found to be the real cause of the fire, not bad electrical wiring.



On the news, there was movie theater surveillance that showed that Billy, in fact, showed up later to the movie theater than the rest of Cream Rose, like HOURS later. Billy no longer had an airtight alibi, although the rest of Cream Rose did.



No! Jimmy, Axl, Andy, Mike, and James cried in unison again. Billy was sure to be the number one Suspect with this new public info. They woke up Billy and told him the bad news.



No! Billy cried horrified. Billy said,"You guys will still protect me, right? Cream Rose looked at each other uneasily, but they knew they had promised to protect Billy. Billy would have protected either one of them if any of them were in Billy's position.



There was a Star Wars Convection going on and Axl, wearing a disguise and makeup that covered all of his tattoos bought 6 Darth Vader Costumes. His plan was to disguise himself and Cream Rose as Darth Vader, hiding Billy from the Authorities. He told them to all meet him at a secluded place and they agreed. At the secluded place, he gave all of them the Darth Vader Costumes and they went to the Star Wars Convection as Darth Vader. Problem was, LOTS of other People were also Darth Vader, not surprisingly. They decided to stay close to each other in order to not get separated. This was when Cream Rose's penchant for being really close to each other came in handy.



They were entertained at the Star Wars Convection , looking like any other Darth Vader Fan. The Convection was over later and the 6 of them were able to walk into a Walgreens and put money on reloadable gift cards, and not look out of place due to the Star Wars Convection. They soon left. There were more Darth Vader Fans close by.



Cream Rose actually made a plan to send Billy on the run, and Billy agreed. Cream Rose said their goodbyes to Billy, and he said them back, and Billy went to the crowd of other Darth Vader Fans and soon ran off into the night, undetected. Axl, Jimmy, James, Andy and Mike were glad Billy was able to get away.



The news later that night pointed out that Billy was officially on the run and was a Fugitive.



Axl's phone rang and "Unknown Caller," popped up on his Cellphone. Axl knew who it was.



He answered. Billy said," I love you, Axl. Axl smiled and repeated it back. Billy and Axl made kissing noises over the phone, the implication clear. Billy said,"I'm at a payphone, I gotta run."



Axl told him, "I understand."



They quickly both hung up.



Cream Rose couldn't believe that Billy was a Fugitive on the run. Technically, this was worse than when Axl was a Fugitive on the run since they all knew where Axl was and Axl was being hidden at Billy's house, which was now burned down. Oh, the bittersweet memories.

Axl's phone rang again: it was Billy.

"Just wondering if you've spotted him yet?"

Perplexed, Axl asked: "Spotted WHO, exactly?"

"Why, the one-armed man, of course."

"Uh, what One-armed man?"

"Don't play cute with me, lover boy, you know, the guy I told you about. Remember me telling you about that strange dream I had? In it, some guy broke in disguised as an erection; he was wearing a disguise: it looked like the same penis costume they sell at Walgreens. I saw him leaving the house with a gas can. He caused the fire and I have to find him. Until I do,I am THE FUGITIVE."

"Uh-oh" mused Axl: "Life is imitating art."

"Axl, I need to get into my detective disguise; please go into my closet and find my vagina costume; you know, the one I wear when I feel frisky, and leave it in the woods and I'll pick it up and start sleuthing. I'll find that one-armed prick if it's the last thing I do."

Axl agreed to find and lay out the pussy costume; Billy thanked him and Axl welcomed him.

"Say, while you're on the phone, can we sext?"

Axl agreed; he knew how much Billy loved it when Axl sucked his cock (Billy lovingly nick-named Axl his 'Lolli-pop man').

Axl couldn't suck off Billy remotely; this surprised him as they both had the latest i-phone and he thought that app was available.

Frustrated, Axl went to the fridge, got a cucumber and put it in his mouth, in and out, while Billy moaned and touched himself.

Axl got into it; he felt he had a particular knack for giving deep throat, at least that's what his father had always told him.

Alas, he stuck the cuke too far down his throat, causing it to get stuck and block his airway.

"Oh, shit" was his last thought before passing out.

Axl went to bed after hanging out with Cream Rose.



Axl sighed unhappily, looking at where Billy would have been sleeping next to him had he not been on the run. Axl fell asleep, unhappily.



The next day, Jimmy, James, Andy Mike came to Axl's room to support him.



"I lost my house and my Boyfriend all within a couple of days," Axl lamented softly. Jimmy, James Andy and Mike all comforted Axl.



They all had no idea where Billy was since Billy turned off the Location on his phone.



Axl drank Coca Cola again excessively, and Jimmy, James, Andy and Mike knew Axl drank Coca Cola excessively when he was feeling stressed out and troubled.



"I hope Billy's okay," Axl said.



Axl's phone rang and it was W Rose.



W asked him,"How are you coping?"



Axl replied,"My Boyfriend's on the run and my house has been burned down, I'm not doing so well!"



W replied, "I'm sure Billy's fine. And insurance can give a huge payout for the burned down house."



Axl said,"Billy's the number one Suspect. Insurance probably won't pay out due to him being the number one Suspect.



W asked,"How did the fire happen?"



Axl was conflicted. He had promised Billy he wouldn't tell anyone how the fire really started.W was his Older Self, but they were technically two different People, so him telling W how the fire really started would still be breaking his promise to Billy.



Axl responded,"I plead the fifth,"



W was like,"Come on, we're closely related. You can trust me with how the fire really started."



Axl responded,"I plead the fifth," again.



W said,"Did Billy start the fire?" Axl's stomach churned into knots.



He repeated,"I plead the fifth." He couldn't betray Billy, even to tell his Older Self that yes, Billy did start the fire.



W said ,"So Billy did start the fire?"



Axl responded,"I didn't say that. I said,"I plead the fifth!"



W answered,"You sure are defending Billy like a true Lawyer!"



Axl almost replied," I promised Billy I would protect him!" But caught himself just in time. He responded,"I plead the fifth."



W was like,"Okay. It's clear you don't want to directly say if Billy started the fire."



They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



On the news, there was even more investigation, and it was determined that there was a pizza left unintended in an oven in Billy's house. The pizza and the oven were filmed. The burned out pizza was listed as the official cause of the fire. The pizza was dusted for fingerprints.



Cream Rose knew that the official cause of fire had a real possibility of being found out. And it happened. Billy would have been screwed had he not gone on the run.



There was a knock on Axl's Hotel Room and Police wanted to interrogate Cream Rose on Billy's whereabouts. Axl and Cream Rose all got ready. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.



Police took them to the Local Police Station and interrogated them. They would have interrogated them separately, but since Axl was their Lawyer, they all had to interrogate them together. Cream Rose were relieved they would all be interrogated together and not separately.



The Police asked them if they helped Billy go on the run. Axl responded,"Tell them you guys plead the fifth. It's your right." James, Jimmy, Andy and Mike said,"I plead the fifth." Axl also said,"I plead the fifth."



The Police asked them if Billy started the fire. Axl, Jimmy, James Andy and Mike all said," I plead the fifth."



The Police asked,"Did you guys have any knowledge of the fire happening when it was happening?"



Cream Rose all responded,"I plead the fifth."



The Police asked,"Did any of you make the random call that led Firefighters to Billy's burning house?"



Cream Rose all responded, "I plead the fifth."



Police asked,"Why did Billy show up to the movie theaters hours after you guys?"



Cream Rose responded,"I plead the fifth."





The Police were exasperated and said,"If you guys don't respond with REAL answers, you 5 are all going to jail today!"



Axl responded,"My Clients and I don't HAVE to answer any of these questions with anything other than the pleading the fifth Amendment which is a right to not say anything to incriminate ourselves. Cream Rose all smirked.



The Police said exasperated,"Go home."



Cream Rose all smirked and left.



Soon, the Interrogation of Cream Rose went viral. Fans laughed at basically every answer being,"I plead the fifth!" And Axl's final answer being about the fifth Amendment meaning.



Cream Rose went to Denny's and Fans wanted to know where Billy was.



"We plead the fifth!" They all answered in Unison. Fans loved this. But really, they really didn't know where Billy was. They were asked for Autographs and Selfies and obliged their Fans. The Fans were happy. They went back to their own tables and Cream Rose had a nice meal and paid and left. They all went back to the hotel.

There was a knock on Cream Rose's hotel door.

"Who is it?"

"Room service."

Axl smiled, having ordered some lark's tongue in aspic from room service; he was surprised to see a huge, floppy, smelly vagina standing at the door.

"It's me, Billy."

Axl and Cream Rose smiled snd shook the cunt's hand.

Billy climbed out of his costume, letting fly with a series of loud, noxious queefs as he did so.

"You know, thinking it over, what the fuck am I doing hiding from the law? The fire was an accident, not intentional. There was no crime, no arson. Only an idiot would dream up such a scenario."

With that they all agreed that Tasha was both an idiot and a shitty writer, that she had the imagination of a turnip and the writing skill of a retarded aardvark.

"Fuck that no-talent bitch, let's burn some ants."

Cream Rose cheered, got out their magnifying glasses and went outside to find some ants to burn.

Life was good.

They went to sleep. They woke up the next day and ate and got ready for the day.



They went to a bar. At Karaoke, Axl decided to sing,"Billy Don't Lose My Number," by Phil Collins. Cream Rose was on board with this

Axl said,"I'd like to sing a Phil Collins song here at this bar!" The audience cheered for him.



Axl emotionally sang





They came at night leaving fear behind

Shadows were on the ground

Nobody knew where to find him

No evidence was found

I'm never coming back

They heard him cry

And I believe him

Well he never meant to do anything wrong

It's gonna get worse if he waits too long



Billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere

That I can find you

Oh now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere that I can find you, oh no



Searching through the day and into the night

They wouldn't stop till they found him

They didn't know him and they didn't understand

They never asked him why

Get out of my way

They heard him shout

Then a blinding light

Ooh all I could see was him running down the street

Out of the shadows and into the night



Now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere

That I can find you, oh

Now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere that I can find you, oh



Don't give up

Keep running, keep hiding

Don't give up

Billy, if you know you're right

Don't give up

You know that I am on your side

Don't give up

Oh billy, you better, you better, you better run for your life



Now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere

That I can find you, oh

Now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere that I can find you, oh



They came at night leaving fear behind

Shadows were on the ground

Nobody knew where to find him

No evidence was found

I'm never coming back

They heard him cry

And I believe him

He never meant to do anything wrong

It's gonna get worse if he waits too long



Now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere

That I can find you, oh

Now billy, billy don't you lose my number

Cos you're not anywhere that I can find you, oh."



The audience filmed this performance. They cheered wildly. They were planning to make it viral. Axl got off the stage.



Cream Rose were like,"Nice use of the song knowing it's about someone named Billy. They smiled. Axl smiled back. They hung out at the bar and then went back to the hotel.

For the next few years, Axl and Billy basked in the glow of being new dads. Every time they went out and about on walks pushing little Nathan in his stroller, people assumed Axl was a lesbian grandma and Billy his adult son. Often Axl wondered if his ex wife Karen would write about his and Billy's child. I mean, having Axl and Billy become gay dads was a natural branching off point in her best-selling Cake Cream series. Last year, Karen had been in town for a book signing and had promised to meet her child for the first time since abandoning the family, but at the last minute had bailed. Now Karen's book series was being optioned by HBO and she was a gazillionaire. Suddenly it dawned on Axl: Karen owed them an assload of back child support payments.

Axl called up his pal Judge V. "Hey V, I need to do a lawsuit. My deadbeat ex-wife owes me an assload of childsupport. Can you pencil me in for next week?"

"That's not how legal processes work, Axl," Judge V. sighed. "Just hire a real lawyer and let them handle the filing." Axl heard a fart echoing in a toilet bowl on the other end of the line. Wow, Judge V. even takes my calls on the shitter, he thought, what a swell guy. Axl then got hard a the thought of farts. Then he shook himself out of his reverie. Nathan was happily chewing on a pinecone he had grabbed from someone's landscaping display. Axl thought about telling Billy his plan to get rich again, but decided to keep it a surprise. He would tell Billy there was a surprise birthday parter for Judge V. at the courthouse, but then reveal they were actually having a trial to sue Karen. He wondered if he should put an ad on Craigslist for jurors, or put up fliers at the local coffee shop. He decided call up Judge V. for advice.

"Firstly, you imbecile," Judge V. barked. "this won't even go to a jury. Secondly, you fat lesbian fuck, juries are not selected by want ads."

Axl thanked Judge V. for his advice, shook the phone as if it were Judge V.'s hand, and then farted loudly. Little Nathan was startled by the sound and began crying.

"Aww, I'm sorry little guy. Here's a rock and sharp stick to distract you."

Nathan gurgled in delight.

The "Billy Don't You Lose My Number by Phil Collins at the bar went viral.



Fans pointed out it was interesting that Axl chose to sing THAT song, a song where the main character is named Billy and goes on the run, just like a certain Cream Rose drummer also named Billy. Cream Rose blushed. That was the point. Axl used that song to directly reference Billy, his Boyfriend and Cream Rose's Brother.



Axl's Cellphone rang again from an Unknown area code. Axl picked up the phone and Billy said,"Nice reference to me with that Billy Don't Lose My Number song," Billy was laughing.



Axl laughed too "I'm glad you enjoyed it." Billy said he could chat with Axl longer than the last time. Axl smiled.



Axl asked,"Where are you now?" Billy responded,"I'm in Tampa."



Axl asked,"Are you okay? Are you eating and sleeping well?"



Billy responded, "I'm okay. I bought a fake ID and disguises and am staying at a motel. I am eating okay and sleeping okay."



Axl responded,"I'm really glad you're okay."



Billy said,"Thank you." Axl welcomed him. They chatted for a long time. And Axl added,"Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go now? " Billy laughed. Soon, they kissed each other over the phone and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Axl soon went to sleep.



The next day, Cream Rose woke up, ate and got ready for the day. Axl told Cream Rose about Billy's conversation with him last night. They were all relieved that Billy was okay.



They decided to go to the mall and hang out. At the mall, Fans asked Cream Rose where they thought Billy might be.



Axl said,"Billy's probably hiding in somewhere in Anchorage, Alaska!" Cream Rose backed up Axl.



Fans were like,"Whoa, that's oddly specific!" Cream Rose were like," Anchorage, Alaska is probably a good place to hide when on the run! This was being filmed. The Fans asked Cream Rose for Selfies and Autographs and they all obliged. The Fans thanked them and were welcomed. The Fans left.



They hung out more and sure enough, this impromptu interview went viral.



Posters were like,"Did Billy call Cream Rose and tell them he ran to Anchorage? I mean, that's just REALLY specific that Cream Rose would say,"Anchorage!"



Cream Rose all blushed. They all knew that Billy actually ran to Tampa.



And.... The News said that there would be a search for Billy in Anchorage. The News failed to realize that Billy being in Anchorage was basically implausible with him being on the run. Anchorage was roughly a 9 hour flight away from Miami. Billy would have a hard time getting a plane ticket when he was on the run. Even with a disguise and a fake ID.



Cream Rose went back to the hotel and ordered Room Service and ate, drank and chilled. Sure enough, on the News, there was Alaskan Authorities searching for Billy. Cream Rose looked at each other and all laughed. They couldn't believe that the Authorities fell for Axl's ruse! They knew Billy must have been laughing his ass off too at this!



Billy called Axl. "Nice ruse to imply that I'm in Anchorage! " Billy was laughing. "These idiots actually are searching for me in Anchorage!"



Axl said,"I wonder how many places in Anchorage they are searching !"



Billy and Axl laughed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



Cream Rose watched some Cake Cream and Cream Rose videos with nostalgic looks on their faces. They were especially nostalgic at Billy playing the drums. They all missed Billy, but didn't want him behind bars. They were happy he was safe in Tampa.