You realize that when Mcap interjected, a while back, supposedly about the racism, that he wasn't talking about the racism? He meant: What the fuck are you doing? Is this your speed?Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Printable View
You realize that when Mcap interjected, a while back, supposedly about the racism, that he wasn't talking about the racism? He meant: What the fuck are you doing? Is this your speed?Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Oh, another good post over here, in case you just happened to miss it. Ha.
https://vegascasinotalk.com/forum/sh...l=1#post157693
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. Axl's resentment of Andy for attempting to sell him out for $5,000/$1,000 when he was a Fugitive on the run and hiding in Billy's house and Andy stealing 1.6 Billion from his Cake Cream Brothers felt EXTREMELY bad today. Axl heard Fighter by Christina Aguilera and felt the words could refer to how he felt about Andy. Axl told Cake Cream he wanted to go to the bar. Cake Cream were all like,"Okay, let's go to the bar!" Axl smiled. They all put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. They left.
Cake Cream and Axl all went to the bar. At the bar, Axl decided to sing Fighter by Christina Aguilera at Karaoke. Axl went to Karaoke and said,"I'd like to sing Fighter by Christina Aguilera!" Cake Cream and the Audience all cheered for him. Axl smiled and sang,
Hmm, after all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end, I wanna thank you
'Cause you made me that much stronger
Well I, I thought I knew you
Thinkin' that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up, 'cause I've had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out in shame, mm-hmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But uh-uh, oh no, yeah, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable
I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh
I never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in on a good thing before I realized your game
I heard you're goin' 'round playin' the victim now
But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies
Guess you're wanting to haunt me
But that won't work anymore
No more, uh-uh, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
'Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
How could this man I thought I knew
Turn out to be unjust, so cruel?
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me
I am a fighter and I (I'm a fighter)
I ain't gon' stop (I ain't gon' stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder (oh, ooh-yeah)
It makes me that much wiser (ooh yeah)
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter (fighter)
Thought I would forget
Thought I, but I remembered (oh)
'Cause I remember (oh)
I remember
Thought I would forget (oh)
I remember (oh)
'Cause I remember (oh)
I remember
Makes me that much stronger (oh, oh, oh, oh)
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Cake Cream and the Audience cheered wildly for Axl. Axl smiled and got off the stage. The Audience had been filming this. It was sure to go viral soon. He went back to Cake Cream.
Andy blushed, knowing that Axl sang Fighter about him. They all chilled, enjoying each other's company. They were drinking coke and rum. They soon left. They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and sure enough, the Fighter Karaoke song by Axl Rose went viral. Fans on Social Media assumed that Axl had Mark Riley in mind when he sang Fighter today. Axl and Cake Cream all looked at each knowingly, knowing Axl actually had Andy in mind when he sang Fighter at Karaoke.
Andy blushed and said, "Axl, we barely even knew you and we were hiding you as a Fugitive in Billy's house when I suggested we sell you out for $5,000/$1,000! You weren't supposed to find out about me attempting to sell you out in the first place! If Jimmy had kept his big mouth shut and not told you that, we wouldn't have been in this mess now!" Axl blushed.
Jimmy said,"We agreed to be more open with each other, that means I had to tell Axl about you attempting to sell him out for $5,000/$1,000!
Mike said,"Speaking about being more open with each other, Andy, you really fucked up by attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000, and then stealing 1.6 billion from us!"
Andy said in anger,"Okay, since we're so open with each other, Axl used the defibrillator on James after he fell into a Coma after YOU hit him in the stomach with your Bass Guitar!
James was shocked. He didn't know that Axl used the defibrillator on him. He didn't even know he was ever in a cona in the first place.
Axl was like,"Andy, you really didn't have to let James know about the defibrillator thing!"
Andy responded nastily,"We agreed to be more open with each other!"
James was like,"Thank you for getting me out of the coma by using the defibrillator on me, but couldn't you have harmed me by using the defibrillator on me?"
Axl responded,"You only had about five minutes to live in that Coma. I had to pull you out or you would have been dead. The worst thing that happened to you was a mini seizure that the Doctors quickly stabilized."
Billy said,"It's true, James. Axl saved your life." James once again thanked Axl. Axl welcomed him.
Axl stared at Andy deeply. He couldn't believe Andy threw him under the bus a few moments ago by telling James about the defibrillator thing. Axl went to the fridge and took out a bottle of Coke and poured a glass of Coke and drank it. He then drank another and then another. And then another.
Cake Cream knew that Axl excessively drinking Coke meant Axl was feeling really stressed.
Axl, you're drinking a lot of Coke again!" Jimmy pointed out, concerned.
Axl nastily responded,"It's better than doing Cocaine like a certain addicted Cokehead Drummer in Cake Cream does!"
Billy gasped. So did James, Jimmy, Mike, and Andy.
They all couldn't believe Axl said that! Axl drank another glass of Coke. He then claimed he was going to the Park.
James, Billy, Mike, James and Andy were shocked by Axl's outburst about Billy, but still wanted to support him. They all claimed they were coming with him.
Axl then claimed he was going to the zoo. They all claimed they were coming with him. He then claimed he was going to the movies. They all said they were coming with him. He then said he was going to the mall. They all said they were coming with him.
He then said,"Would you guys all leave me alone? I just want to be by myself!"
Cake Cream all reluctantly allowed Axl to go out by himself. Axl turned off his phone location, as he didn't want Cake Cream to know where he was. He went to McDonald's and bought some large Cokes and drank them, thinking of the latest Cake Cream messes. After drinking his large Cokes, he went to the Supermarket and bought a pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a lighter. He also bought more Coke bottles. He went to a secluded place and lit up cigarettes and smoked and drank some more Coke. He enjoyed his cigarettes and Coke drinks.
Back in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite, Billy, Mike and Jimmy all admonished Andy for telling James about the defibrillator thing. They pointed out that Andy threw Axl under the bus by doing that.
Andy blushed uncomfortably. I'm still pissed about Jimmy telling Axl that I attempted to sell him out for $5,000/$1,000 , so I took it out by telling about the defibrillator thing! Jimmy, you REALLY shouldn't have told Axl about me trying to sell him out for $5,000/$1,000
Jimmy admitted he blurted that out because he was resentful of Axl being resentful of them for playing their Demo songs at the Rolling Stones Concert and not songs Axl wrote for them and being resentful that Cake Cream has a Grammy, but not Guns N'Roses.
Jimmy, James, Mike, Billy, and Andy all chatted and chilled and then went to sleep.
Axl went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite, feeling a little better and climbed into his and Billy's bed and was next to Billy, in smiled, and fell asleep.
Schizo time ...
Bummed, Axl boarded a Greyhound to anywhere and fell asleep; two days later he awoke in Ontario.
"WTF?" he wondered.
He wandered aimlessly until he found a DQ: "Ahh..." he thought; soon he was blissfully wolfing down a strawberry blizzard while comforing himself with a melodic flurry of silent but deadly farts to the tune of "Silent Night."
He noted a squirrely looking duffer in the next booth talking to himself while tapping frantically on his i-pad.
Curious, he gazed at what the crazy Canuck was typing and saw it was a post on VCT, on Tasha's thread.
"This will never do" thought Axl.
Outraged, he picked up a chair and smashed it on the head of the daft punk in the next booth; it had zero effect, the old boy was in the zone.
Next Axl jumped behind the counter, grabbed the hot dog fork, and speared the stranger in the arm: the northman shook off the annoyance and continued to post.
Axl had had enough.
"Hey asshole, that is Tasha's thread, what the fuck are you doing hijacking it?"
Myopically looking up, the doofus responded "The Queen of England had 183 days of rain, which when divided into the length of Rob Singer's cock approximates the sum of hosers at a hockey game..."
Axl slapped then punched him into unconsciousness.
"Stay the fuck away from Tasha's thread or it'll be more of the same for you, you god-damned Canuck."
They got up the next day. Billy, Axl, James, Andy, Mike, and Jimmy all looked at each other awkwardly. What would they do about yesterday's fiasco? They were all thinking about it. They ate and got ready for the day.
Axl lightheartedly asked,"Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go now?"
Jimmy, James, Mike, Billy and Andy laughed. But they really didn't know where they would go from here with all the bad things happening with Cake Cream and Axl and Axl resenting Andy and for very good reason. Andy soon went back to sleep. He smarter than me up a little while later and heard James, Jimmy, Billy, Mike and Axl all chatting about him. He pretended to still be asleep.
Billy said," Andy is a true fuck up. Attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000 and stealing $1.6 Billion from me, James, Andy, and Mike. Plus on top of that, he had went off into the wind suddenly because he didn't want to share any of his Lottery Winnings with us.
Mike said,"Andy's creepily obsessed with money. No one with completely good morals would ever pull the stunts Andy has pulled.
Axl responded,"Andy's actually a really decent person when he's not obsessed with money. Let's just say, I'm grateful that it's ANDY who is doing these awful stunts for money and not Billy. Andy attempting to sell me out for $5,000/$1,000 hurts me to my core, and I'm also hurt that he stole $1.6 Billion from you guys, but if Billy was the one who had attempted to sell me out for $5,000/$1,000, and stolen 1.6 Billion from his Brothers and dud that Lottery stunt, it hurt me so much more. The pain would be beyond unbearable. Thank God I'm dating Billy and not Andy, because if my boyfriend, Billy had pulled these stunts, I would completely have a mental, emotional, and nervous breakdown.
Cake Cream nodded in agreement. James said,"Andy has proven a few times how untrustworthy he really is.
Jimmy said,"If we were the Titanic, Andy would be the Iceberg."
Billy said, Actually, we're ALL the Titanic. Andy's creepy, obsessive love of money is the iceberg, not Andy himself.
Mike said, "Andy's actually a good guy, he just had that nasty loving money way too much thing. I don't trust him to not turn on us again for money.
Axl responded, "The thing is, it's not that we DON'T trust Andy, it's that we CAN'T trust Andy. There's a huge difference between the two."
Cake Cream agreed Axl had a valid point. They chatted a little while longer about Andy's betrayals, and chilled more. Andy soon "got up," and everyone decided they wanted to go to the bar. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left and went to the bar.
At the bar, Axl went to Karaoke again and said,"I'd like to sing For The Love Of Money," by the Ojays! " The Audience and Cake Cream cheered for him.
Axl sang
Money, money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
Money, money, money, money, money
Some people got to have it
Some people really need it
Listen to me y'all
Do things, do things, do things, bad things with it
You want to do things, do things, do things, good things with it
Talk about cash money, money
Talk about cash money, dollar bills y'all, come on now
Yeah, yeah
For the love of money
People will steal from their mother
For the love of money
People will rob their own brother(Axl REALLY belted this line emotionally, his voice cracking in deep emotion, thinking about Andy robbing his Cake Cream Brothers and his Axl brother)
Axl ad-libbed emotionally,"For The Love of money they'd sell out their own brother!" His voice once again cracked with deep emotion.
For the love of money
People can't even walk the street
Because they never know who in the world they're gonna beat
For that lean, mean, mean green
Almighty dollar, money
For the love of money
People will lie, Lord, they will cheat
For the love of money
People don't care who they hurt or beat
For the love of money
A woman will sell her precious body
For a small piece of paper it carries a lot of weight
Call that mean, mean, mean, mean, mean green
Almighty dollar
I know that money is the root of all evil
Do funny things to some people
Give me a nickel, brother can you spare a dime?
Money can drive some people out of their minds
For the love of money
Don't sell your soul for money, no, no
For the love of money
Lay down, lay down, a woman will
Money is the root of all evil
Do funny things to some people
Give me a nickel, brother can you spare a dime?
Money can drive some people out of their minds
got to have it, I really need it
(For the love of money) give it up, give it up, give it up, yeah
(For the love of money) got to have it, some people really need it
(For the love of money) give me, give me, give me, cash money
I need, I need
(For the love of money) give me, give me, give me
(For the love of money)
(For the love of money) how many things have I heard you say?
don't let it, don't let it, don't let money rule you
(For the love of money) how many things have I heard you say
(For the love of money) don't let it, don't let it, don't let money fool you
(For the love of money) yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(For the love of money) got to have it, I really need it
Save your soul, save your soul, don't sell it
For that mean, mean, mean, mean green
People know that money, don't let money change you
Almighty dollar
Keep on tellin' you
People know that money, don't let money change you
Almighty dollar
Keep on changin', yeah, changin' up your mind
You keep on, you keep on
Changin', yeah, changin' up your mind
People know that money, don't let money change you
Almighty dollar
Keep on tellin' y'all
People know that money, don't let money change you
Almighty dollar
Keep on changin', yeah, changin' up your mind.
The Audience once again was filming this and it was sure to go viral soon.
The Audience and MOST of Cake Cream cheered wildly, but Andy only slowly clapped, knowing that Axl was singing For The Love Of Money for him. Andy blushed. Axl got off the stage and went back to Cake Cream. Cake Cream and Axl all knew that Axl was once again singing about Andy. They drank some more Coke and rum. They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse soon after.
They chilled and then went to sleep.
The next day Axl was served with a summons and complaint filed by representatives of the O'Jays, whose song Axl sang without first getting written permission.
Having given himself his own power of attorney, Axl thanked himself for his cleverness and peened out his response on a Big Chief legal pad; he filed the original and gave a copy to the other side.
The next day they went to trial before that old rascal, that scamp, Judge V.
Plaintiffs had a platoon of high powered lawyers, paralegals and various consultants; Axl sat alone.
Trial lasted ten minutes: a classic slam dunk.
Judge V. pronounced his verdict.
"Axl, you pirated that song from the O'Jays. Normally I'd only order you to pay a billion or two in damages but your actions were so wrong, so egregious, that I am throwing you in jail. Alas, the jails here are filled with January sixth protestors so I made arrangements with our sister state, Hawaii, to house you. May god have mercy on your soul."
Axl was cuffed and thrown on a tramp steamer; one grueling month later he arrived in the Aloha state, much the worse for wear.
He was transported to prison, processed, and taken to his new cell where he met his cell mate...
Axl let loose a real cheek rattler: holy moley, it's Mark Riley!
Mark Riley looked at his new companion, put down the chinese handcuffs he was weaving and smiled.
Mr. V, in case you haven't noticed, the songs Axl sings at the bar are Karaoke covers! He doesn't need permission from the Ojays to sing Karaoke covers! He only pays when it's an OFFICIAL cover like he did with the War by Edwin Starr and turning it into the Covid song and when he paid to have James use some of Jimi Hendrix Machine Gun guitar playing in the War/Covid cover. :) He also covered Burgundy by Earl Sweatshirt and PAID. :)
Also, WHY is Judge V the ONLY Judge that Axl and Cake Cream get put in front of? This is MIAMI, a huge and world famous City, that has LOTS of Judges,not some backwoods rural place with only one judge in town.
So many questions, but only one answer..."because that is how it is written..."
C'mon girl, time travel, doppelgangers, trials the next day?
Hello, reality takes a holiday.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
I NEVER called them Trials. I call them Court Hearings and Court Cases, NEVER trials. A Trial would take much, much longer. Court Hearings and Court Cases happen much quicker than Trials. ;) In my Fictional Axl Rose story, the accused victims are asked if they want to press charges. The Accused usually pleads guilty and is ordered back to the Correctional Facility they are being housed in. What happens in my Fictional Axl Rose stories are more like Arraignments, NOT trials. ;)
I don't give a rat's patooie what you called it, but the scenario you typically use provides for being sued today and going to court tomorrow for a dispositive hearing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
You always have people testify, and that happens at trial, and only rarely before, especially in civil cases.
Typically trials happen one to nine years after an action is filed, served, and responded to.
In law," ignorantia juris non excusat"
They soon all fell asleep. The next day, Cake Cream and Axl got up, ate, and got ready for the day. Andy said that he was going to go to the mall by himself. Axl had a plan and wanted to test if Andy was willing to sell out Billy, Axl, James, Mike, and Jimmy. He would put on a disguise and not wear a motorcycle helmet and show up at the mall.
Andy soon left to go to the mall and Axl put on a normal looking disguise and told Billy, James, Jimmy, and Mike his plan and they were all in on it. Axl put on a bulletproof vest and went to the mall and saw Andy. He approached Andy and said in a changed voice," Hi, Andy, I'm Max Kendall with TMZ and I'd like to make you an offer for 20 Million to spill all of Billy, Jimmy, Mike, James, and Axl's secrets."
Axl in his head said,"Please, Andy, refuse. Please don't be willing to sell us all out for 20 Million.
Andy said,"20 Million sounds good!
Axl said in his head,"Oh no!"
Axl pretending to be Max said,"Just give me your phone number and spill all of Cake Cream and Axl's secrets, and I'll Zelle you the 20 Million!" Axl's heart was breaking. He was hurt and disappointed in Andy.
Andy continued,"But, Axl would be very mad at me if I spilled all of the rest of Cake Cream and Axl's secrets for money." In fact, EVERYBODY would be mad at me for selling them out for money.
Axl smiled a little inside. Axl played hardball and said,"Axl, Billy, James, Mike, and Jimmy don't have to know. It can just be between us. You'll be 20 Million richer!"
Andy paused for about a minute and Axl in his head was like,"Please don't cave, Andy. Please refuse."
Andy said,"They all would still find out somehow. I can't sell out Axl and Cake Cream for 20 Million by betraying our secrets. They'd never trust me again. I'm sorry, but my final answer is no. End of discussion."
Axl was cheering inside. Andy refused to sell out Axl and Cake Cream! Axl as Max said,"I respect your decision to not sell out Cake Cream and Axl."
Andy said,"Thank you!" Axl as Max welcomed him and they said their goodbyes and Axl left happily. Axl went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and told Billy, James,Mike, and Jimmy about Andy refusing to sell them out for 20 Million. They were all happy Andy refused. Andy really seemed to be regretting turning on Cake Cream and Axl for money.
They chilled for a while and then Andy came back home.
Andy said,"Some guy from TMZ named Max Kendall offered me 20 Million to tell him all of you guys secrets!
Axl said,"Please tell us you refused. Axl was smirking inside knowing Andy had refused. Billy, Jimmy, Mike and James backed up Axl.
Andy said,"I refused to sell out your guys secrets for money."
Jimmy, James, Billy Mike and Axl all cheered. Axl Zelled Andy 20 Million from his bank account for refusing to sell them out.
Andy was pleasantly surprised to see that Axl Zelled him 20 Million and thanked him. Axl welcomed him. Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike also Zelled him 20 Million for refusing to sell out the secrets. Andy was thankful that Billy, James, Mike and Jimmy also gave him 20 Million each. He thanked all of them and was welcomed. They all chatted and chilled for the day and then went to sleep.
Old Axl from 2023 woke up in a kiddie pool filled with Dijon mustard, duplos, and the odd maraschino cherry. Not this shit again, he thought. He called out to Billy to help him get up and towel off, but remembered that Billy and young Alex from 1986 had instituted a new morning ritual of picketing outside Walgreens to protest their sale of frozen pizza. Ever since Billy's house got torched by a frozen Italian pie, he had been on the warpath. Move over Mother's Against Drunk Driving (MADD), now it's Frozen Ass Pizza Burns Unsuspecting Musicians (FAP-BUM). A couple days ago he had helped them make signs with catchy slogans.
Down With Digiorno
Red Baron is capitalist Scum
Celeste Pizza for One is no Fun
Great Value Frozen Pizza is for the Poors
That last one made no sense but Axl shut his pizza hole and rolled with it. Billy and younger Axl had walked to their target, leaving Axl the car for the day. The rest of Cake Cream was at a children's birthday party, playing for a crowd of sleep deprived parents of kindergartners. Axl had the whole day to himself. As he toweled off the mustard and fished out a duplo brick from betwixt his ass cheeks, he let loose a hot salami squeaker. That fart dislodged yet another duplo he might otherwise have missed. He popped a maraschino cherry in his mouth and pondered the Collatz Conjecture. Suddenly he espied in the corner of the room a bit of poster board and a stick. May as well join Billy and younger self, he mused. Axl found a half dried sharpie and hastily composed a catchy anti-frozen pizza slogan.
Mr. V, court cases in my Fictional Axl Rose stories are incredibly rushed like you have pointed out. But I'm surprised you never called out that in my Fictional Axl Rose story, I frequently say stuff like,"Cake Cream and Axl took a LYFT to Miami International Airport and booked last minute first class tickets." They went to the local Marriot and booked last minute luxurious Penthouse Suite." This is so unrealistic that they constantly book last minute first class tickets and last minute luxurious Penthouse Suites in the local Marriot. ;)
Cake Cream and Axl took a LYFT to Miami International Airport and booked last minute first class tickets to Port Moresby, the cosmopolitan capital city of Papua New Guinea. Once they landed in their tropical paradise, they went to the local Marriot and booked last minute luxurious Penthouse Suites. Axl mused to himself, this is so unrealistic that we constantly book last minute first class tickets and last minute luxurious Penthouse Suites in the local Marriot. It was almost as if he were a character in bad fan fiction story. But he said nothing of his concerns to Cake Cream. What good would it do to make them question the nature of their existence?
Both Axls, Billy, and the rest of Cake Cream whose names I forgot woke up and ordered room service. When their breakfast finally arrived, they were horrified to discover that traditional breakfast in Papua New Guinea was fresh human brains served in the severed heads of warriors from the enemy tribe. Aw shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, Axl mused. He had totally forgotten that Papua New Guinea was a tropical hell hole where cannibalism was still practiced among primitive peoples. At that moment the flatulent musicians also realized that their sumptous digs at the "Marriot" was just a thatch hut. Yeah, drugs can really fuck with your head. Cake Cream, Axls, and Billy shook hands and thanked one another for nothing in particular.
Cake Cream wanted to do something truly over the top; they discussed options over strawberry blizzards at DQ.
"Let's play each other's instruments" suggested Shemp.
"Fuck no" said Moe, "We're too stupid to learn anything new. I say we pile on one another and make a man mountain."
"No, that would hurt" winced Larry; "I think the better play would be to play a set of songs from another band, like maybe Four Jacks and a Jill."
As Larry was the only one who had heard of that South African band; he pulled up one of their songs from You Tube and played "Master Jack" for his band mates.
"We could do that" said Moe; they all agreed, thanked him, were welcomed, and shook hands en route to the men's room, where Moe and Larry shook another appendage.
"Let's go to Cape Town for the show" suggested Larry Fine; they called someone and rented a soccer stadium for the following day.
"Oh shit, we're gonna be late for the show" said a dilatory Joe Besser the following morning.
"Not to worry, I've got my buddy Elon on speed dial" said Curly, and he did.
Elon arranged to send Cake Cream to South Africa after lunch via rocket.
On stage, they were surprised to see that the entire audience was black; no Afrikaners, no white guys.
Two minutes into the set the audience, 200K strong, revolted; they expected rap but got served a load of crap.
The Zulus threw a plethora of spears which did nothing, so they followed up with gun shots.
A wild melee ensued, with security having to rush in and save Cake Cream from a herd of rabid rhinos that the crowd sicced on them.
Moe espied one of the rhinos suddenly and volcanically cutting loose with an odiferous blast followed by a colossal dumping of rhino poo; he idly wondered if it would taste better than Larry's, then smiled and thought knowingly: "Bloody unlikely, that."
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. Fans on Social Media were begging for a new Cake Cream Show soon. Axl and Cake Cream didn't want to do a Show soon, but they were working for the Fans. They reluctantly put on their bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left and went to the James L Knight Center. Axl booked a show for tomorrow. The Fans were happy. Cake Cream and Axl went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and practiced for tomorrow's Show. They chilled until the next day.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day and practiced more. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and practiced more. Soon, it was time for the Show. They were performing behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and were really good, but then they spotted Max Kendall from TMZ! Axl's stomach turned into knots and his heart skipped several beats again and he told Cake Cream that Max Kendall was there. No! Cake Cream all thought simultaneously. Max Kendall was like,"Hi, Cake Cream and Axl, care for an Impromptu Interview? Axl responded,"We're working, you jerk!" Fans laughed at Axl's sharp rebuttal. Max was filming everything.
Axl and Cake Cream felt nervous, but Axl reminded them that they were working for the Fans and needed to keep doing a good Show for the Fans. They heeded Axl's advice and continued doing a good show. The Fans cheered wildly. The Final sendoff happened to more wild cheering and then the show was over. After the show, they left the building, but lo and behold, Max Kendall was there, wanting to do an impromptu Interview. Max was filming them. And following them. Cake Cream and Axl were agitated. Max was like,"How does it feel being the most wealthiest band in the world? Cake Cream and Axl continued walking away. Max followed them, still filming.
"How does it feel having Mark Riley obsessed with you guys?" Max asked. Cake Cream and Axl continued walking away. Max continued following them. Max gloated he wasn't going to go away until they spoke to him.
Cake Cream and Axl all agreed with each other that maybe, just maybe, they should just give Max that impromptu Interview he so clearly wanted.
Cake Cream and Axl said to Max,"Okay, we'll talk to you in order to get you to stop harassing us." Max smiled.
Max asked,"How does it feel being the wealthiest band in the world?"
Axl said,"It feels great. We definitely weren't expecting to get so wealthy in such a short time."
Billy pointed out,"We technically are only the wealthiest band in the world because Brandon Records being forced to pay us $2.5 Billion for lying about us in Court. We would only have been worth about $200 Million each if it wasn't for the Brandon Records thing." Jimmy, James, Mike, Axl, and Andy all backed up Billy.
Max asked Axl, "Why did you run away when you saw me at the mall the other day?"
Axl responded,"I ran away because I didn't want to speak to TMZ like I answered on Social Media.
Max asked,"Is the REAL reason you ran away because you impersonated me?"
Axl responded,"I didn't impersonate you. If you ask me, the impersonation thing has Mark Riley written all over it. He's impersonated me and Older Axl.
Mark responded,"Mark Riley is still in the Prison infirmary in Hawaii. He couldn't have impersonated me."
Axl reconfirmed that he didn't impersonate Axl.
Mark them asked Andy,"Do you think that Axl is the one who impersonated me?"
Axl telepathically begged Andy to not rat him out. Billy, James, Mike and Jimmy also telepathically begged Andy to not rat out Axl.
Andy responded,"No, I don't think Axl is the one who impersonated you. Axl doesn't run around impersonating people. Axl, Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike all smiled inside. They were glad Andy didn't rat out Axl.
Max asked Andy, "Who do you think impersonated me?"
Andy responded,"I honestly don't know. Maybe someone who just felt like pranking and trolling me for fun."
Max was like,"Actually, they also trolled me by pretending to be me."
Andy was like,"Can we wrap up this impromptu interview? We're all tired, we just had finished a Cake Cream Show and we're tired. Cake Cream and Axl backed up Andy.
Max was like,"Okay, final question. Has any Member of Cake Cream or Axl turned on each other?
Billy, James, Jimmy Mike Billy and even Andy all mentally answered that Andy turned on Cake Cream and Axl.
Out loud they all said,"No."
Max was like,"Thank you guys for doing this impromptu Interview." Cake Cream and Axl all welcomed him and he walked away.
Cake Cream and Axl all went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and talked about the impromptu Interview with Max Kendall and how it was sure to go viral soon. They were grateful they didn't say anything damaging in that impromptu Interview with Max. They chilled some more and fell asleep.
"Thanks for lying your asses off guys" said Moe.
"That's what we do" said Curly as he kissed Moe's feet.
"You taught us how, we learned at the feet of the master" praised Larry as he unzipped Moe's fly.
Moe lectured his crew while Larry's head kept bob bob bobbing like a red robin.
"Guys, lying is easy."
Curly raised his meaty paw and let fly a gaseous eructation that shook the walls, saying "But Moe, ain't lying wrong?"
At this Moe glared at Curly, then picked up an andiron and bashed him in the skull.
"Would I ever steer you wrong?" asked Moe as hie zipped up and lit up a Tareyton.
Curly was unconscious, so in his place the members of Cake Cream sang, in unison, and in perfect tune "No, you're a good Master."
Having calmed the waters Moe asked "Now where's that damned gerbil?"
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. They chilled until the next day.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day and practiced more. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and practiced more. Soon, it was time for the Show. They dropped trou, manually spread their butt cheeks, and butt whistled a variety of children's songs, including Old MacDonald Had a Farm. Thomas Gammy, owner of the Grammy Awards, was in attendance. He gave each farter a Grammy award.
Axls and Cake Cream and some new character named Max shook hands and thanked one another telepathically. Nobody had bothered reading the last 10 pages to figure out who Max was, but he seemed as stupid as all the other random characters showing up now and then, so they didn't mind.
The breakers of wind returned to their mansion where they ate frozen calzones and binge watched the Mister V variety show. They all had a hearty laugh at the episode where some drag queens played the three stooges and gave each other blow jobs. Billy's favorite scene was when Moe'nique farted in Curly-Sue's ear and Larryanne slipped on his own puddle of jizz.
It was a perfect day, except that the frozen calzones would have tasted better if they had been cooked in the oven instead of eaten cold straight from the freezer.
Suddenly there was an ominous knock on the door. Old Axl opened it and almost had a heart attack. It was Nathan, the man in the penis costume.
Ah ha, it's YOU!" accused the strung out doppelganger.
"No it isn't" came from the maw of the phallus.
"Of course it's you; who else could it be?"
"Surprise!"
The penis costume removed, old Axl quivered in fear and farted a barely audible toot: Judge V. stood before him, resplendent in glory.
"You know why I'm here, old Axl."
Old Axl nodded; he knew only too well why the jovial jurist had knocked on his door.
"Time to learn the truth."
Judge V. set up his Polaroid slide projector and screen, turned off the lights and began the slideshow from hell.
Old Axl winced, then sobbed, then fell on the floor in spasms as he watched the horrible images flash before his eyes.
Young Axl was depicted taking it up the ass; then felching, and finally getting and wearing a dirty Sanchez: it was all simply too much for the time traveler.
"Judge V., I knew when I made my deal with the devil to travel in time that this day would come, but Satan never told me YOU would be his servant."
"As a judge and student of the law I am inextricably bound to hellish practices. Now the time has come."
Old Axl shrugged and held out both arms; he asked "OK, which one are you going to chop off?"
"Nice bingo wings," Judge V sneered, "but it won't cost you those." Judge V then picked up the penis costume and threw it at Old Axl.
"Wait, *I* have to become the man in the penis costume?" Old Axl asked incredulously. He had always had a nagging thought in the back of his mind that the penis costume was more than just a running gag in his meandering life story. He realized he could not escape his fate of becoming Nathan. Because blushing shyly was back on the menu, he blushed shyly and asked Judge V what happened to Nathan, the previous man in the penis costume.
"He served his time and graduated to the next plane of existence." Judge V stuck out his rear and pooted in the direction of a potted ficus tree, whose leaves trembled in the hot gust. Then he left.
Axl put on the penis costume and cleared his throat to call the attention of his band plus the other characters whose names we forgot. "Ahem. Brothers, I must now go forth and become Nathan, the man in the penis costume.
"I will miss you terribly," said Billy, terribly.
"I will remember you fondly," said the other Axl, fondly while fondling himself.
"We will replace you quickly," said Cake Cream, quickly.
Axl did not want to cause a scene, so he grabbed one last frozen calzone and ran off into the night. The streets were dark and the noises were scary. Where would he go and what would he do?
As he wandered through certain half-deserted streets, the muttering retreats of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels, and sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells: streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent to lead you to an overwhelming question ...
"Do you need a lift?" came a hideous gravelly voice from the drivers side of a 1984 Cadillac Cimarron. Axl-come-Nathan the man in the penis costume was startled out of his reverie. It was a woman in a Walgreens employee uniform. "I just got a thing for men in penis costumes. Can't explain it."
"Okay," said the man in the penis costume as he approached the passenger side. He removed a hideous handbag from the seat and chucked it in the back. The glove box was open and inside it he espied numerous lottery tickets. "So where are we headed?" he asked while blushing shyly.
"Gonna hold up a Dairy Queen." And with that, she floored it.
With a flourish of flatulence Axl-cum-Nathan's mysterious, powerful benefactor and soon to be Master got out of her well-used Datsun B-210 with his hand in hers; "Be brave."
The Flagler kid and that new hire, the Mexican chick, were playing hide the salami in a back room during a lull at DQ when the dynamic duo entered the hallowed dairy emporium.
"Holy shit, Conchita, you aren't gonna believe this" said the Flagler kid, mid-thrust; he'd espied the dopey looking black chick and the asshole in a penis costume.
The Flagler kid withdrew his throbbing love missile with a loud 'QUEEF.'
Conchita, daughter of a whore and following in her mother's footsteps also espied the dopey looking black chick and the asshole in the penis costume.
"Hey Flagler kid, do you see the dopey looking black chick and the asshole in the penis costume?"
He looked again: "Yup. Glad we're locked in the back room and scoping this shit out on closed circuit TV. Fuck those guys. Come back here and finish me off."
Conchita came back, finished him off, and was thanked, both in English AND in Incan.
She genuflected, welcomed him and they shook hands and bowed to one another.
The Walgreen's employee gave Axl nka Nathan a covid mask to match her own and said "Wear this, and follow me in, and whatever you do, don't worry, be happy."
With that they entered the dairy bar: empty, nobody home.
"Shit, they're probably out fucking in the back room, they do that a lot" said the perceptive wannabe robber.
Axl slouched next to her: barely tumescent, far from turgid.
"Go away" came a disembodied voice from the in-ceiling speakers; "We just built the beast with two backs and we don't serve customers in penis costumes."
"Come out here right now and make us some strawberry blizzards or so help me I'll make them myself and I won't even pay for it."
"OK, let me zip up."
The Flagler kid zipped up, and looking Conchita in the eyes said "Next time, we'll do anal;" he then went to the service counter.
"Two strawberry blizzards" said the Walgreen's worker.
While the Flagler kid set about constructing the caloric nightmares he espied the costumed penis growing in length and girth and then out of the top of its head spouted effluvia.
"Egad" thought the Flagler kid, "this prick really loves these blizzards."
Blizzards prepared, he gave them to the woman and only then noticed she was wearing brass knuckles; "Give me all the money."
Not willing to die or take a beating for DQ, the Flagler kid opened the register and while handing over the meager contents two cops came in for their daily fix; they saw the brass knuckles and the fellow in the penis costume but could care less, having been defunded.
"Nice costume" said one to Axl cum-Nathan; he thanked the cop and was welcomed.
Back in the car, she counted the loot: "Twenty-two bucks. Not bad. Stick with me and you'll never go without a strawberry blizzard."
She espied something odd; hitting the brakes she stared, then looked at Axl and smiled.
"Well what do we have here: somebody on the sidewalk festooned in a vagina costume. Go get her, Sparky."
Axl swallowed hard: it was show time.
Nathaxl got out of the 75 Ford Pinto and cautiously approached the vaginal figure on the sidewalk. It was an old man, asleep, probably from downing the contents of the empty bottles beside him. Nathaxl espied something in the sleeping man's hand, cylindrical with a red button on top. As Nathaxl crept forward, the vag suddenly woke up. The drunk grinned a wee grin.
"Surprise bitches!" he barked and then depressed the red button. For a moment Nathaxl's heart stopped. Is this how I die, he wondered, blown to smithereens by a bum in a costume worse than mine? But to his surprise the button did not trigger an explosion. Instead, the vagina costume rapidly inflated with helium and the old man began to float up into the rancid Miami night sky. The old man had yet one more trick up his -- sleeve, so to speak. From a satchel he threw tampons down to the people below.
As Nathaxl watched the spectacle in awe he felt a pang of envy. O to be free like that.
"Grab some of those tampons and get back into the car," his new master hissed.
What could he do but obey? Bending down to pick up tampons while wearing a penis costume was difficult and the odd position forced out much gas from his colon. Overhead he heard a commotion. The bum in the floating vagina costume was brawling with someone in a floating tits costume. They were duelling with what appeared to be sharpened baguettes in an attempt to puncture each other's flying apparatus. The scene felt vaguely familiar and foreboding.
Dumbest thread ever!
"Stupid is as stupid does." --- Forrest GumpQuote:
Originally Posted by jbjb
"What is your name, Master?"
"You can call me Sasha, slave."
Nathaxl thanked her, shook her hand and was welcomed; he chilled briefly then asked "Can I take off this penis costume? It's hot and makes me itch."
"No, leave it on, we have work to do."
Sasha pulled into an Arco station and used the robbery proceeds to fill the tank in her clapped out Yugo, then they motored to the local casino.
"OK, you distract them while they're emptying the slot machines and then I'll steal the money boxes and meet you out front."
Nathaxl found the staff emptying the slots in the high limit area; he walked toward them and then fell to the floor and went into what looked like convulsions.
"A hard man is good to find" said a slot tech who embraced Nathaxl and started stroking his body / shaft up and down, saying "Ride me honey, mama needs some lovin'."
To further enhance the ruse, Nathaxl had a mouthful of milk and while writhing on the floor he spit it out the hole in the top of the penis costume.
People had flocked around to gaze in abject amazement at the scene of a slot tech jerking off a giant penis; they clapped and roared their approval when the huge prick seemingly "came."
This gave Sasha the opportunity she needed; she grabbed some cash boxes while nobody was looking and left.
Nathaxl espied his Master leaving; he stopped shaking, got up and said to the slot tech "Thanks, I needed that" and walked out the door.
His Master was gone!
She'd left him there, alone, bedecked as a phallus: he felt (and looked) as unloved as a used condom.
"Fuck me" he said aloud, then started laughing hysterically at the irony of that statement.
Nathaxl punctuated the moment with a monstrous blast of intestinal gas which caused his costume to expand and carry him up, up and away, where he once again espied the old drunken cunt dueling with big tits.
Sans a baguette, Nathaxl used his head as a weapon and at ramming speed he speared the pussy lips dead center; sated, he lit up a cigarette and slowly descended, hoping against hope that his new Master had not really foresaken him.
Nathaxl was dazed and confused at being abandoned by his new Master, Sasha.
"It must be something I said or did that pissed her off" he mused; "I better keep the penis costume on in case she returns, so she can espy me."
Small children, dogs and drag queens followed him as he wandered the streets, lost and lonely until ... "EUREKA! MASTER!"
Sasha pulled her Yugo over in a cloud of smoke, got out, slapped Nathaxl silly and said "It's all your fault that Todd won't let me post more often."
As her slave Nathaxl dared not question his Master's claim; he went limp and absorbed her furious tirade.
"I'm outa here."
With that final declaration she left in a cloud of smoke.
Truly bereft, abandoned, and wholly without hope or direction Nathaxl trudged toward the ocean, intent on swimming to the horizon, when ...
"Hey buddy, you need a lift?"
A short, swarthy old fart in a loud, flashy newer Dodge invited him in; Nathaxl farted in glee and entered the conveyance.
"I need you to help with something; hi, my name is Sob Ringer, what's yours?"
Nathaxl said nothing, totally gob-smacked.
"Whatever; I pack 9 1/2 inches but cannot really measure up to a big prick like you. Here, read this script while I film it on my phone and post it on a couple gambling forums."
Happy to be of use, Nathaxl read aloud through the pee hole in his penis costume the following: "I swear that I saw Sob Ringer sell his Newell to an Israeli for a mountain of cash. I was with him many times when he beat the casinos using the double up bug, and we were together when he won $1.5 million at video poker in Resorts World. His nephew {my next door neighbor} just discovered that KJ actually lives in the tunnels and Mr. V is posting from a padded room in a Portland insane asylum."
"Thanks, you can get out now."
Nathaxl got out, confused, yet more determined than ever to swim to France.
Sasha rolled down the window of her 73 Morris Marina and let the hot wind blow through her matted hair as she cruised up the I-95. The car briefly became airborne after hitting an errant alligator, and the impact jolted her out of her reverie. It dawned on her that she was in possession of something more valuable than a box of cash stolen from the casino. She had a car that could magically change into any make and model. Why was she in this rattling jalopy of an Altoids tin on wheels when she could be riding pretty in a G-Wagen like a Real Housewife? She pulled over into a Shell station. The "S" was not properly lit and so the station sign read something more ominous. She parked away from the pumps, turned off the ignition, and concentrated on her ideal car. Sasha closed her eyes and said "G-Wagen" three times while clicking her heels. The car groaned and gave off and eerie light and to her delight, changed into a Barney-purple G-Wagen with lime green trim, perfectly matching her hideous handbag.
Of course, nothing is for free.
As Sasha started the ignition and checked her rearview mirror, she saw in the reflection a figure standing next to the pumps. He was not pumping gas and did not appear to belong to a car. His arms were folded across his chest and he was staring directly at Sasha's G-Wagen. She turned her head to get a better look, but he had vanished. Turning back to the dashboard to admire the fancy driving display, she was startled to see the man standing directly in front of her car. She turned on the headlights to blind him, which only made him laugh.
"Who are you and what do you want?" Sasha screamed. She locked all the doors. The man leaned on the hood smiling at her with a grin that literally stretched from ear to ear because he had been cut just so. "I can mow you down!" Sasha screamed again.
"You know who I am."
Sasha farted a wee fart. He was right. She did recognize him.
"How you enjoying your magic car, sweetheart?"
Sasha quaked with emotion and let loose a flood of stinky urine (that damned asparagus) which pooled upon the fine Corinthian leather of her '79 Chrysler Cordoba.
"You're that guy, the one who has a pet dwarf."
"He's not my pet, my dear: Tattoo is my slave. Yes, it is I. You know me by many names: Dan Druff, Todd Witteles, but of course I am Mr. Roarke; it is time you left this place, this forum. The fantasy is over."
Sasha was in full panic mode; such was the depth of her despair that she didn't notice the shit dripping down her her legs into her Crocs.
"But ... I don't WANT to leave."
"You must leave, my dear, as the fantasy you signed up for has played through; time to return to your old life."
With that he snapped his fingers and the members of what she'd known as "Cake Cream" emerged from the thicket with cudgels and capped jars of fire ants in hand.
"Come along quietly to The Plane, my dear: otherwise ... well, it won't be pretty."
Sasha knew the jig was up (and almost gone).
"But I don't WANT to go back home; mama makes me clean my room, my boss makes me suck her toes and my best friend is a homeless schizophrenic; I LIKE it here."
"Sasha, you knew the rules when you first came to Fantasy Island: you knew this day would come."
Defeated, Sasha took the dwarf's tiny paw in her meaty claw and allowed him to escort her to The Plane, which was revving for take off as she entered.
"Goodbye, old Axl, new Axl, Cake Cream, Mark Riley and Nathaxl."
She wept vociferously; her tears were so intense that they masked the identity of her fellow passenger; soon they cleared and ..."
"Judge V ! What are YOU doing here? I thought you were a creation of Fantasy Island."
The derailed arbiter smiled, then said "I've come to take you home, daughter dear: Who's your daddy?"
Zounds: the nagging question of her paternity had finally been answered.
He laughed, but his guffaw was trumped by her piercing scream as the old Ford tri-motor became airborne.
"To infinity, and beyond."
Sashathan was buckled in her seat aboard the Airbus A350 when she decided to attempt one last hurrah of a magic trick. She clicked her heels 3 times and muttered the words "Cessna 172 Skyhawk" in a low tone, inaudible to the rest of the plane's passengers. To her delight, the Airbus glowed and made terrifying creaking noises until it shrank into the beloved 2-seater personal aircraft. She found herself in the pilot's seat without a clue how to fly a plane, nor how to radio for help, and so it didn't take long for the plane to crash into the canopy of the Sumatran jungle. Dazed and confused by the crash landing, Sashathan let herself fall out of the dangling aircraft and landed inside a giant carnivorous flower. Just as the flower was about to swallow her, it made an aboutface and spat her out unceremoniously.
"Blech! you taste awful. What the hell kid of bug are you?" the flower inquired
"Excuse me," Sasha retorted, "I am a person, not a bug. But I have not been treated with the dignity that a person-who-is-not-a-bug deserves. I have been wronged. Grievously wronged."
"Look, sorry about spitting you out like that, I just wasn't expecting that, uh, particular flavor," the flower apologized.
"Not you," Sashathan explained. "I have been treated like yesterday's trash on countless internet forums. Treated like a joke and not taken seriously. Me and my 34,857,934 sockpuppets all played for a laughingstock fool. My posting limit has never been lifted despite sending mods 9,348,593,748,923 PMs politely requesting to have my posting limit lifted, with many assurances that I am not a troll any more. Sometimes I think me and my 34,857,934 socks should just leave since we are obviously not wanted."
"Gee that sucks kiddo," the flower said. "But on the bright side it will free up a lot of time. I mean, you could enroll in community college and take a few writing classes. Or take up gardening. I love gardening."
"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Mr. Flower, but it's no use. My sole passions in life are gambling and forum trolling. So I think I'll just be spending more time at the slots. Do you know any good action in this jungle?" Sashathan asked.
"The middle of the Sumatran jungle is not known for it's casinos kiddo. But if you follow that river downstream you'll eventually reach a settlement of primitive tribespeople. Maybe someone there can play the shell game with you." And with that, the flower closed its petals to rest for a while. All that talking had made it sleepy.
Sashathan decided to follow the flower's advice and carefully made her way along the river's edge.
"Fucking leeches" groaned Sashathan as burned yet another one off her face with a Marlboro; "Where the fuck is that village?"
No sooner had she thought those poignant wods when she stepped into and triggered a snare which grabbed her by the foot and via a springy tree lifted her high in the air, suspended over the forest floor.
"Help!" she shouted over and over, but to no avail.
Her cries did attract various forest creatures: a sloth eyed her languidly then moved on; two peacocks strutted their mating dance in front of her then flew off to fuck (she recalled that "birds do it on the fly," but this tidbit helped her not at all.
Suddenly some small people appeared from the bush, holding bows and arrows; they started twirling, dancing and blabbering to one another.
"Get me down."
Unconcerned for her health, they cut the tree off at its base, causing Sashathan to come crashing down, breaking her big right index finger.
She wailed; "My finger! How can I play slots ever again?"
Her complaint fell upon deaf ears; they quickly trussed her to a pole and carried her back to their village, singing all the while.
Sashathan realized her peril; she farted meekly and even passed some water.
The village headman met them and with a grand flourish directed her carriers to place her over the roaring fire in the center of the village.
"Oh shit" thought the hapless aeronaut.
But then she heard the word "HOLD!" spoken with authority; she looked up and saw a most unlikely sight: Judge V. exited a hut with a fifth of Bombay in hand.
"Well now, what have we here?"
Judge V. spoke to the natives in their tongue; they dispersed and left the two of them alone.
"This really isn't your day, is it?"
Nope, it wasn't.
The half-sotted jurist handed the Bombay to Sashathan then belched, scratched his balls and asked "So, what's new?"
Dazed and confused, the errant aeronaut asked "But...you were in the plane...how did you get HERE?"
"Did you ever watch 'Bewitched?' Remember how Samantha used to twitch her nose to affect reality? She learned that trick from me. You see, just as Trump can declassify documents merely by thinking about it, I can and do create and rearrange reality simply by thinking about it."
Sashathan let loose a juicy fart: what was this nutcase talking about?
"I am, for lack of a better name, God."
This was too much for the injured Walgreen's clerk; she'd read the bible and this was NOT the god she'd heard about.
"Where's the angels? What's your son up to these days?"
"There are no 'angels," that was just some flashy bullshit I put out to get their attention, but Jesus is doing well, he's into arbitrage these days and making a mint" proclaimed the proud papa.
"But what are you doing HERE, with me, on earth? Why aren't you sleeping in a bed of clouds, or out bowling with planets as bowling balls?"
"Been there, done it: just trying something new. Fact is, I'm bored shitless. Why else would I haunt gambling forums?"
Realizing that she would no longer likely be the main course for dinner, Sashathan lost her temerity and went on the attack.
"You let me crash that plane and break my index finger Judge V: why?"
"Purely for shits and giggles my dear. Oh, and here comes the next round of entertainment."
She followed his gaze and started screaming and then fainted.
"Heh heh" thought the unholy spirit, "She isn't going to like this AT ALL."
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. The Max Kendall impromptu Interview went viral and on Social Media, Fans thought Max Kendall was being a jerk, harassing Cake Cream and Axl for that impromptu Interview. They pointed out that it was clear that Max Kendall forced Cake Cream and Axl to do that impromptu Interview. Axl even pointed out that Max was harassing them. They loved Axl and Cake Cream's quick thinking answers however.
Axl smirked, knowing he specifically told Max on purpose he was harassing them for that Impromptu Interview. Cake Cream were also all smirking.
Back in Hawaii, Mark also got to watch the impromptu Interview on the news in his prison infirmary and couldn't believe that Axl implicated him as Max Kendall's Impersonator when Mark was in a different STATE, roughly 10 hours away by plane. Mark thought,"Axl DOES realize that no one would actually think I impersonated Max Kendall from a different STATE, right?" Mark couldn't believe that Axl threw him under the bus with the implication. Mark thought,"Boy, if I weren't in a Prison infirmary in Hawaii, I'd go kick Axl's ass for this!"
Back in Miami, on Social Media, Axl Rose Critics pointed out that Axl was quick to implicate Mark Riley as Max Kendall's Impersonator, despite Mark being in a Prison infirmary in Hawaii. They wondered if Axl was really Max Kendall's Impersonator.
Axl responded on Social Media, I said what I said about Mark since Mark has impersonated me and Older Axl."
Critics straight up responded,"Axl, did you impersonate Max Kendall?"
Axl responded,"No, I didn't impersonate Max. Why would I impersonate Max? I don't run around impersonating people like Andy pointed out."
Critics responded, "You have valid points."
Axl responded,"Thank you."
The Critics welcomed him. They chatted for a while and said their goodbyes.
Axl and Cake Cream watched some TV. Rocking Rick called Axl's cellphone and asked if Andy and Axl wanted to do a Radio Interview for tonight since they were both being harassed by Mark Riley.
Axl told Rocking Rick to hold on and he did.
Axl asked Andy what Rocking Rick suggested and Andy said,"I'm up for this!"
Axl smiled and told Rocking Rick that Andy was up for this. Rocking Rick told him he was excited. Rocking Rick and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Andy and Axl were happy to be doing a Rocking Rick Interview! Rocking Rick was such a nice Interviewer.
Cake Cream and Axl chilled more.
The members of Cake Cream were sitting at a round table, playing a feisty game of "Go Fish;" Axl was leaving the bathroom, having just finished rubbing one out; he put down his "Boys Life" magazine when inspiration flowed over him like lava.
"Tee hee hee" he snickered as he got down on his knees and crawled under table without being detected.
Axl proceeded to quietly untie all of the gamers' shoe laces then tied them together: "What fun" he thought as he slithered out from underneath the table.
Axl got up and clapped as loudly as he could, screaming "Fire! Fire!"
To his unending amusement the boys all fell flat on their faces upon trying to arise and flee: those tied laces sure did the trick.
Axl pondered the fickle finger of fate and how it had led him to that moment: "I rule" he concluded; "I rule."
At 5 PM, Axl and Andy got ready for Rocking Rick's Interview, which was in the actual Y-100 Radio Station this time, not a phone call. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and told Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike their goodbyes and they said them back.
Andy and Axl left to go to the Y-100 Radio Station. On the way to the Radio Station, Axl said to Andy,"Please don't say anything that could damage me, yourself, James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, Older Axl,Wild Guns, etc. Andy said he wouldn't. Axl smiled. Andy had really turned leaves for the better. Soon, they went to the Y-100 Radioactive Station. Rocking Rick showed up and warmly welcomed them.
Axl and Andy warmly welcomed him too. The Interview started and Rocking Rick said,"I'm here with Axl Rose and Andy McCall from Cake Cream!" How are you guys?"
Axl and Andy both responded,"I'm good, how are you doing?"
RR responded,"I'm good, thanks for asking.
Axl and Andy responded,"You're welcome.
RR asked,"Andy and Axl, you guys have been in quite big scandals with Mark Riley being overly obsessed with you. How does Mark's obsession with you make you guys feel?
Axl responded," Mark's creepy obsession with me and Andy has been quite taxing, I must say.
Andy responded,"But it made me and Axl's friendship stronger."
Axl smiled. Axl said," Andy's right. Also, I love how Andy was able to save Older Axl's life by distracting Mark with the kiss to get Mark to drop his gun so I could pull the gun on Mark instead and get him away from Older Axl.
Andy responded,"Axl and I planned that trick on Mark together. We both knew Mark would fall for it, so we set Mark up into falling for it."
RR said,"That must have been nerve wracking to see Mark pull the gun on Older Axl and threaten to Murder Older Axl. And have him demand that you Andy go to him in order to save Older Axl's life.
Andy and Axl responded,"Sure was."
RR asked Axl tough question. "Axl, were you ever planning to actually give Andy to Mark for real to save Older Axl's life?"
Axl responded,"I actually was at first going to say something like,"Mark, I'm not giving Andy to you, you sick freak!" But I figured if I said that, Mark would most likely shoot Older Axl dead, so Andy and I did our,"Andy distracts Mark with a kiss and I take gun and pull it on Mark!" Plan. I was never going to actually give Andy to Mark. I'd never betray Andy like that."
Andy responded,"Yep,Axl would never actually give me to Mark. Andy smiled.
RR asked Andy,"Would you ever betray Axl?"
Axl and Andy had panicked looks underneath their motorcycle helmets, both thinking about Andy's betrayals of Cake Cream and Axl. Axl told Andy telapathically to answer no.
Andy responded,"No, I would never betray Axl or any of my Cake Cream Brothers.
RR responded,"That's good to hear. Loyalty is important in Brotherhood.
Andy and Axl both thanked RR and he welcomed them.
RR asked,"It's kind of weird that Max Kendall asked you Andy specifically to betray Cake Cream and Axl for 20 Million and didn't ask James, Jimmy, Mike Billy or Axl the same question.
Andy responded,"Yep, it was weird, but like I said,"I would never betray my Band Brothers for money. Axl laughed sardonically and quietly inside, thinking about Andy doing exactly that just not too long ago.
RR asked Axl,"If Andy had betrayed you guys to Max Kendall for 20 Million, would Andy still be a part of Cake Cream?
Andy was curious to hear Axl's answer.
Axl responded,"If Andy had betrayed us to Max Kendall for 20 Million, he would still be part of Cake Cream, we just would have a very hard time trusting him anymore like we do. If Andy had even thought of betraying any of us for something as little as $5,000, we would have a very hard time trusting him. Andy blushed, knowing that Axl was referring to him attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000. We trust Andy a lot. "
RR said,$5,000 is a specific number and the exact amount of the Bounty for turning you in when you were a Fugitive on the run the first time. Are you implying that Andy tried to sell you out for $5,000?"
Andy and Axl both shook their heads no, even though they both knew Andy did exactly that.
Axl responded,"Andy had no idea where I was during my time as a Fugitive and even if he did, he wouldn't try to sell me out for $5,000.
Andy backed him up, saying,"I wouldn't break Axl's trust for any amount of money."
Axl responded,"Andy wouldn't. And he wouldn't break any of our trust for any amount of money."
Andy responded,"I wouldn't."
RR said,"It's so refreshing to see the deep relationship you, James, Billy, Mike, James and Jimmy all have. I love that!"
Andy and Axl thanked him and he welcomed them.
RR took a live call from a fan requesting that Axl sing The Hurt Song from Cake Cream.
Axl and Andy blanched. The Hurt Song was originally written about Andy trying to sell out Axl for $5,000.
Axl told RR,"The Hurt Song was written when Cake Cream was NOT in a good place. It came from a place of hurt, hence the song. Maybe the Fan will settle for the upbeat All The Right Words which is Cake Cream's biggest hit?"
The Fan responded,"No, I REALLY want you to sing The Hurt Song. Please?"
Axl responded,"Okay, I'll sing The Hurt Song for you." The Fan thanked him and he welcomed her.
Axl sang The Hurt Song, full of pain and melancholy, thinking about Andy's attempted betrayal. The Fan was delighted and Axl welcomed her. Soon, the fan hung up.
RR was like,"That was really good and you sounded really hurt when you sang that.
Axl responded,"Everytime Cake Cream plays The Hurt Song, I feel incredible pain.
Why do YOU feel such pain when The Hurt Song is about James betraying Jimmy by having sex with Allison?"
Axl responded,"It's complicated, let's just say it's REALLY a personal song for all of us."
RR asked Andy if he shared Axl's sentiments about The Hurt Song.
Andy's stomach turned into knots, knowing the "Brother," Axl spoke about betraying him was Andy himself. Andy knew he had to respond diplomatically.
Andy responded," It's a personal song for all of us because it's about being betrayed by a brother. We're all Brothers except Billy and Axl who are dating, and that betrayal was a very messed up betrayal that shouldn't ever have happened and I'm sorry it ever happened.
Axl responded,"Andy's right. We're all sorry that brotherly betrayal that inspired The Hurt Song happened."
RR responded,"I can't imagine my Brother having sex with my girlfriend. I would have went ballistic like Jimmy did.
Axl responded,"We're all glad that James and Jimmy made up and realized Allison was NOT worth ending their Brothership over."
RR asked,"Speaking of Allison, how did it feel when she falsely accused James and Jimmy of raping her and tried to get them to pay her a combined $100 Million for a ridiculous lie she made up?"
Axl responded,"It hurt, but I knew Allison was lying and I got her to not only confess that she lied about the rape and got her to admit she just wanted revenge and money for James and Jimmy both dumping her."
Andy chimed in,"Axl's a really good Lawyer, Power Of Attorney, Manager, Mentor, and Brother.
Axl thanked Andy and he welcomed him.
RR said,"Andy, you, Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike put a lot of trust into Axl, someone you have only known for a couple of months. What made you guys trust Axl?
Andy responded,"Actually, me, James, Jimmy, Mike, and Billy thought Axl might be some kind of Scammer when he first approached us in the bar a couple of months ago claiming he was in the music business and wanted to make us stars. We trusted him when he revealed himself to be the guy that helped out Older Axl when Axl and Older Axl first met. We had no idea at the time that Axl had time traveled, we assumed he was a Music Scout or something who could song like Axl. At the time, we still thought he was Michael Randall Johnson..
Axl blushed and responded,"I don't blame James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy and Andy for thinking I might be some Scammer at first. I did show up to them out of nowhere in the bar wearing a full disguise claiming I was in the Music Business and wanted to make them successful. I'd probably be wary myself in their shoes. I revealed myself to get them to see that they could trust me. They did and the rest is History.
RR was like,"It's a really good story and what a wonderful History it is. You six make a really good team. Axl and Andy thanked him and he welcomed them.
Soon, the interview was coming to a close and RR said,"It was a pleasure to interview Axl Rose and Andy McCall from Cake Cream!"
Axl and Andy responded it was a pleasure to be interviewed by Rocking Rick and he thanked them and was welcomed.
RR said,"This is Rocking Rick ending the Axl Rose and Andy McCall from Cake Cream Interview! Over and out! Clear!" The interview was over. Andy, Rocking Rick and Axl all amicably chatted for a little while and then said their goodbyes and Axl Andy left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon fell asleep.
Enroute to their luxuriou Penthouse Suite, the boys listened to RR on the radio and screeched to a halt.
"RR here with Judge V, who will shed some new light on what Axl and Andy just told us. Judge V, how are you today?"
"Filled with piss and vinegar, thanks for asking."
"You heard what they said: is it true?"
"Can I say 'Fuck no' on radio? No? Then no, it was a bunch of bullshit. Can I say 'bullshit' on radio? No? Those scumbags were lying through their teeth."
The jaded jurist then spent ten minutes telling the listening audience what REALLY had happened; RR thanked him and was welcomed.
Meanwhile, by the time Axl and Andy arrived at their Luxurious Penthouse Suite hundreds of angry fans descended upon them, brandishing pitchforks and firebrands, screaming "Lyihng sacks of shit" and "Fucking prevaricators:" an outlier cryptically yelled "You never owned a fucking Newell."
As they exited their Yugo a ripe mango was thrown at and hit Axl in the face; a baseball bat clubbed Andy's back, dropping him to his knees: then the crowd descended and howling with glee they ate their fill.
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. Already, the Rocking Rick Interview with Axl and Andy went viral. Fans on Social Media loved it.
James, Billy, Mike, Jimmy, Axl, and Andy were thrilled. But Axl realized that he and Mike had NEVER spent any alone time together. He had known Cake Cream for a couple of months, never had a single time alone with Mike. The closest Mike and Axl had spent alone was when Mike had come home so that Axl and he could switch so that Axl could go to the hospital to check on James.
Axl asked Mike to come Axl and Billy's room. Mike obliged.
Axl said,"Mike, you and I have NEVER spent anytime alone together despite knowing each other for a couple of months.
Mike responded,"We did a Duet of All The Right Words at the Local Marriott, that performance is Grammy Nominated."
Axl wryly answered,"James, Billy, Andy, and Jimmy were there watching. We were not alone."
Mike said,"You're right."
Axl said,"Do you want to go to Dunkin Donuts and eat some doughnuts and have some coffee, just the two of us?"
Mike smiled and said,"I'd love that. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and told Cake Cream where they were going.
James, Jimmy, Andy, and Billy were like,"We'll go with you!"
Mike and Axl were both like,"No, we two want to go to Dunkin Donuts alone."
The rest of Cake Cream were like,"Okay."
Axl and Mike went to Dunkin Donuts and got some doughnuts and iced mocha. They say at a table facing each other.
Axl was like,"So, Mike, it's nice to have a nice outing alone with you."
Mike responded,"It is nice."
Axl asked,"So, how do like being lead singer of Cake Cream?"
Mike responded,"I love it. I love our Cake Cream Family. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."
Axl said,"I love our Cake Cream Family too and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Axl awkwardly paused. Mike prompted him to go on .
Axl said,"You're a lot different than most Lead Singers. You're shy , quiet, and withdrawn. Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy have much more drama and attention than you do."
Mike responded,"I don't like attention and drama. I just want to sing, get paid, and leave. I'm not interested in being in your face and abrasive. I like being humble and demure."
Axl said,"More Lead Singers should be more like you." Axl was smiling.
Mike said,"Thank you!"
Axl said,"You're welcome!"
Axl was like,"There's so much I still don't know about you. What did you want to be when you were a child?
Mike responded,"As a Child, I wanted to be a Firefighter. But I realized my true passion is Singing. I then changed my life goal into being a Singer. And I'm glad I am living out my life goal." Mike smiled.
Axl smiled back. Axl and Mike are more doughnuts and drank more iced mocha and commented on how good these were.
Fans in the Dunkin Donuts soon came to them and were like,"Wow, Mike and Axl are actually alone together for the first time ever!"
Axl and Mike shyly blushed. Fans asked them for Autographs and Selfies and they obliged. The Fans were happy. The Fans went back to their own tables.
Mike and Axl chatted more, enjoying their alone time at Dunkin Donuts. They decided to go to the movies too. They texted the rest of Cake Cream that they were going to the movies together. Cake Cream were all like,"Okay." Mike and Axl went to the movies and had more of a wonderful time. After the movies, Paparazzi filmed Mike and Axl and asked Mike and Axl if they were dating.
Mike and Axl were both like,"No, we're like Brothers.
Axl added,"I'm in love with Billy and loyal to him."
Mike responded,"And I only date Women."
The Paparazzi were like,"Are any other Cake Cream Members besides Billy Gay?
Axl and Mike were both thinking about Andy being Gay and still in the closet. They couldn't just tell Andy's hidden sexual orientation in a public video like this.
Mike and Axl were like, Everybody in Cake Cream besides Billy is straight.
Paparazzi said,"Remember when Andy kissed Mark Riley? Andy can't be Straight if he kissed Mark Riley."
Axl responded,"Andy only kissed Mark to get Mark to drop the gun so I could take it away from him while Andy distracted Mark with the kiss. Andy only kissed Mark to save Older Axl's life. Andy isn't Gay.
Mike backed up Axl. Paparazzi taunted more saying,"Remember when Andy played the keyboard right next to you and then basically laid on you Axl at that Cake Cream Show?"
Axl responded,"Like I've said before, Andy had taken a Xanax the night before that Cake Cream Show and was loopy as a side effect of it." Mike backed up Axl.
Paparazzi asked if Andy and Billy had ever dated.
Axl frustrated replied,"What part of Andy is Straight don't you understand?"
Mike replied,"Andy and Billy have never dated. Me, Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy are all like Brothers. Always have been like Brothers.
Paparazzi smirked and said,"Oh yeah, James REALLY treated Jimmy like a brother when he fucked Jimmy's Girlfriend!"
Mike and Axl were both like,"That was a one time mistake and James felt awful about it and Jimmy and James made up after their brief fighting.
Paparazzi were like,"Jimmy nearly killed James over that whore Allison."
Mike and Axl were like,"Jimmy gave James a single hit in his stomach with his guitar. It wasn't like he shot him with a Tommy Gun.
Paparazzi were like,"Axl, why did you allow James and Jimmy to play at that Cake Cream show when you knew James and Jimmy were feuding over Allison? You allowed them to work together in a hostile environment! What a bad Manager you are!"
Mike said,"Axl's the best Manager we've ever had. He only allowed James and Jimmy to work together that day because Fans wanted to see a Cake Cream Show!"
Axl said,"Thank you Mike!" Mike welcomed him.
Paparazzi were like,"Why didn't Jimmy hit James that show where James played bad guitar? Jimmy seemed awfully amicable with the guy who had just fucked his girlfriend and yet hit him with a guitar the very next Cake Cream Show. (Axl and Mike both blushed, knowing that Axl was pretending to be James when Axl played bad guitar)
Axl responded, "I told Jimmy before that Show that I'd buy him a half gallon of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla if he didn't hit James at that Cake Cream show and he didn't.
Paparazzi were like,"Axl, why weren't you at the Cake Cream Show the Show that James played awful guitar? You abandoned Cake Cream at one of the times they would have needed you the most. You're an awful Manager!"
Mike and Axl blushed, knowing that Axl was pretending to be James that Show.
Mike said,"Once again, Axl's the best Manager we've ever had! Axl REALLY wanted to go to that Show but he sat out that Show because we all begged him to sit it out, that he deserved a break. He obliged because we all begged him to sit it out. Please stop harassing Axl."
Axl once again thanked Mike and Mike welcomed him.
Axl was like,"No further questions, please. Mike was like,"Axl's right. You guys are harassing Axl and should stop." Axl and Mike begun walking away and Paparazzi started following them saying,"We're not done asking questions!" Axl and Mike were like,"Leave us alone! We don't want to answer anymore questions!" Paparazzi were like ,"We want to ask you more questions!" Mike and Axl walked some more and Paparazzi continued following them, filming more, and asking more questions.
Mike and Axl were getting scared. Axl had a brilliant idea and thought that he and Mike should order a LYFT to the nearest Police Station. Mike thought that was a good idea and Axl ordered a LYFT to the nearest Police Station for himself and Mike a LYFT and when it arrived, Mike and Axl got into it.
A Taxi was nearby and The Paparazzi flagged it down and got in and told the Taxi Driver to follow wherever Axl and Mike's LYFT was going. The Taxi obliged. Mike and Axl were horrified that the Paparazzi were FUCKING FOLLOWING them in the Taxi! Thank God that they were headed to the Local Police Station. The LYFT Driver pointed out that the Taxi was following them and compassionately asked if Mike and Axl were in any trouble.
Axl and Mike admitted they ordered a LYFT to the Local Police Station because the Paparazzi were harassing them.
The LYFT Driver was like,"Sucks you're being harassed by Paparazzi. I'll drive you to the Police Station and not let you out until Police come out. I happen to be a huge Cake Cream fan myself."
Axl and Mike were grateful and he welcomed them. He drove them to the Police Station and lo and behold, the Taxi with the Paparazzi pulled up shortly. The LYFT Driver was disgusted. Paparazzi harassing and now stalking Mike and Axl! The Paparazzi got out of the Taxi and the LYFT Driver told off the Paparazzi for harassing and stalking Axl and Mike.
Paparazzi were like,"We spent $20 following you guys! You're going to answer our questions, Mike and Axl!" The LYFT Driver was like,"You stalked and harassed Axl and Mike. Look at where you are! " The Paparazzi were horrified when they realized they were at a Police Station.
Police Officers soon came out and the Taxi Driver and LYFT Driver and Axl and Mike reported the Paparazzi for harassment and stalking and the Paparazzi admitted they did it. The Police brought the Paparazzi into the Police Station and some Cops offered to take Andy and Mike home for free and as extra protection. Mike and Andy happily agreed and thanked the LYFT Driver and he welcomed them and they went into the Cop Car. During the Cop car ride, a YouTuber saw Axl and Mike in the back of a cop car and filmed them! He assumed they were getting arrested. Mike and Axl shook their heads. This was sure to go viral, yikes!
The Cops asked the other Driver to delete that video he had just filmed. The Driver said,"No!" And sped off (Still under the speed limit) as soon as the light turned green. The Cops apologized for that and Axl and Mike thanked them and they welcomed them. The Cops took Axl and Mike to the Marriot and Axl and Mike thanked them for the free ride and they welcomed them. The Cops left and Mike and Axl went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon fell asleep in their own bedrooms. What a day!
Axl awoke in the middle of the night, his internal clock unerringly ringing.
"It's time," he thought.
He rose from his bed and quietly padded into the communal laundry room where Cake Cream washed their clothes.
Checking to make certain he wasn't being observed, Axl opened the hamper and reached in...ahhhhh...dirty socks.
Ever since he was a teen he had a fixation, a sexual obsession, with dirty socks: the dirtier and smellier the better he got off.
Axl dropped trou and wrapped a rather nasty sock around his male organ of copulation and then started that old familiar motion, up and down.
He was soon spent and slinked back to bed.
"Just another day in Paradise" he mused.
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day.
On Social Media, the Paparazzi had filmed themselves chasing Axl and Mike's LYFT car. It went viral. Also, the Youtuber's video of Axl and Mike in a cop car went viral too. Police confirmed that Axl and Mike had not been arrested yesterday, they were just getting police escort after Paparazzi stalked and harassed them.
Axl looked at Mike deeply and said,"I'm sorry our fun alone time yesterday got ruined by the Paparazzi and the YouTuber yesterday."
Mike said, "We still had fun. I enjoyed going to Dunkin Donuts and the movies with you yesterday." Mike smiled. Axl smiled back.
Axl wondered if he and James had ever had spent time alone together.
Axl asked Mike,"Have James and I ever had alone time?" Mike said,"I don't think so.."
Maybe James and I should have alone outings together today like you and I had yesterday," Axl said thoughtfully.
That might be fun for you and James, hopefully your outing day will end better than ours.
Axl smiled. Axl went to James's room and asked him if he'd like to have fun outings alone with Axl. James was okay with this and they got ready to do alone together outings today. They told Billy, Jinmy, Mike, and Andy their plans and they were all like,"Okay." Axl and James put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left.
They went to the bar and bought some wings, fries, and coke and rum and ate at drank and amicably chatted.
Axl asked James,"How do you feel being the Lead Guitarist for Cake Cream?"
James responded,"I love it. The Guitar is like an extension of my soul and I wouldn't have it anyway. I love being a part of Cake Cream and I love our Cake Cream Family wouldn't give it up for anything in the world." James was smiling.
Axl smiled back.
James asked,"How do you feel being our Manager, Power Of Attorney, Lawyer, Brother, Boyfriend to Billy, and Backup Singer for Cake Cream?
Axl responded,"I love everything about it. I wouldn't give you guys up for anything in the world."
James said,"I can't believe I temporarily threw away a good Brothership with Jimmy by having sex with Allison. I'm so sorry I ever did that and am beyond grateful that Jimmy forgave me. "
Axl said,"We all know you're sorry for having sex with Allison. It was a one time impulsive decision that you never repeated and broke things off permanently with Allison, thank God.
James smiled. They continued eating the fries, wings, and drinking the coke and rum, just enjoying each other's company.
Axl asked James,"What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a child?"
James responded,"I wanted to be a guitar player when I was a child.
Axl said,"I'm impressed that you wanted to be as guitar player even as a child."
James smiled. Kid me would be so proud of Adult me being a world renowned Lead Guitarist!"
Axl responded,"Yes, kid you would be proud of you. You really are a great guitar god. Your guitar playing is some of the best guitar playing I have ever heard!" Axl was smiling.
James said with a smile,"Thank you!"
Fans came up to James and Axl and begged for Autographs and Selfies . They also pointed out that James and Axl had finally been on an outing alone. Axl and James blushed shyly and gave them the Autographs and Selfies. The Fans were happy and thanked them and they welcomed them and the Fans went back to their tables. James and Axl continued chatting and then went to the mall and did some shopping. They had fun, just chatting and enjoying each other's company.
They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. James and Axl enjoyed their fun outing that ended up being all the way fun, no Paparazzi stalking and harassing them and no YouTuber filming them in a cop car. Cake Cream and Axl all chilled and then fell asleep.
Axl's internal alarm clock chimed silently and he arose in the dark of night, his member turgid with the expectation of some dirty sock action.
He quietly crept down the hallway to the laundry, turned on the light and voila', there was James, rifling through the hamper.
Flummoxed, Axl muttered "Was up?"
"Let's not bullshit each other, Axl. Cake Cream and I have been on to your dirty sock fetish for some time now."
Axl blushed crimson.
"But after our fun today, I wanted to see why you like it so much."
Axl felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of his back; he explained how he always had a thing for dirty socks, then he handed a reeking sock to James and asked him to join him.
Socks in hand, then on their Divining Rods, the Cake Creamers creamed their odoriferous hose.
"I still prefer pussy, but it's not bad at all" said James.
"Tomorrow we'll ALL do a "sock it to me" laughed James.
Axl smiled, the image of all the members of Cake Cream gathered in the laundry strumming their cock socks percolated in his mind: he thanked James for joining him and was welcomed.
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. Andy said he wanted to go to the Supermarket. Everybody else all said they wanted to go with him.
Andy said,"No, I really want to go to the Supermarket by myself." Andy answered.
Axl wryly said,",Dejavu all over again," he said to Andy. Billy, James, Jimmy, Mike, and Billy all backed up Axl.
Andy shyly blushed. "Uh, I like shopping at Supermarkets by myself!" Andy was actually planning to go buy Mega millions tickets.
"We're sure you do enjoy shopping at Supermarkets by yourself," Axl told Andy wryly.
Andy blushed more and the rest of Cake Cream and Axl laughed. They knew why Andy wanted to go "Shopping," at the Supermarket by himself.
Andy put on a bulletproof vest and a motorcycle helmet and told Cake Cream and Axl goodbye and they all said it back. He left. Andy went to the Supermarket and bought 10 Mega Millions tickets and chose the Multiplier.
Andy thanked the Cashier and was welcomed. He went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. He and Cake Cream and Axl all chilled for the day and then went to sleep. At Midnight, Andy got up and checked the Lottery Results on his phone. Andy was pleasantly shocked to see that 10,22,30,31,43, and a Megaball of 4 had shown up, his exact numbers!
He had won 1.5 Billion before taxes, the Largest Mega Millions Jackpot EVER. He was excited! Andy however knew that he probably won more like 500 Million cash after the taxes, learning his lesson from the last time. Andy put the lottery ticket in his drawer and went to sleep.
When he got up, he ate and got ready for the day. His conscience told him,"Don't do what you did last time. Don't run off with the money just so you don't have to share it with Cake Cream and Axl. You've been given a second chance and your Brothers trust and love you.
Andy said to Billy, Axl, James, Jimmy and Mike,"Guys, I won the Mega Millions Jackpot of 1.5 Billion before taxes."
Billy, James, Jimmy, Mike and Axl all said,"Congratulations."
Andy blushed shyly. He shyly thanked them. They all welcomed him.
Billy asked,"You're not going to run off on us like you did the last time, are you?" Billy had a way of just saying what people were thinking.
Andy said,"No, I'm not." Cake Cream and Axl smiled. Andy called The Lottery Office and they made plans to make another Press Conference for Andy's second big Lottery win. The Lottery Official congratulated Andy on winning big AGAIN.
Andy thanked him and was welcomed. Andy and The Lottery Official chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Andy told Cake Cream and Axl that he was going to do another Lottery Press Conference for tonight. They all said they would watch it. Andy smiled happily. They all chilled in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon it was almost time for the Lottery Press Conference. Andy got ready for the Lottery Press Conference and put on his bulletproof vest and a motorcycle helmet and told Cake Cream and Axl his goodbyes and they said it back.
Andy went to the Lottery Press Conference. Cake Cream and Axl watched on TV. "Drew Tyson," was asked how it felt to win a big Lottery Jackpot AGAIN. Andy replied in a changed voice,,"It feels great."
He was asked what he planned to do with the new money. Andy replied,"I don't know. Maybe travel and give some to Charity.
An Audience Member "joked," if he could get 50 Million from "Drew," Andy panicked a little.
He thanked God he was wearing a motorcycle helmet. Axl telepathically told Andy to decline that "Joke," question.
Andy responded,"I don't actually have the money on me!"
Axl thought that was a good answer. The Audience Member respectfully agreed to not ask again. More questions were asked and Andy tactfully answered them all.
Cake Cream and Axl were proud of Andy and how well he answered all the questions, some of them really tough questions like why he didn't give to Charity from his last big Jackpot win. Andy responded,"I plead the fifth," which was actually a good response. He was also asked if he was really Andrew Tyson McCall from Cake Cream. Andy said,"No my full name is Drew Tyson."The Lottery Officials backed up Andy and Andy thanked them and was welcomed. The Audience Members were suspicious but let the matter drop.
Soon, the Press Conference was over and the Lottery Official Zelled Andy exactly 500 Million in cash and promised him ALL of his taxes were paid. Andy thanked the Lottery Official and was welcomed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes. Andy got a Police Escort ride back to the Marriot. He thanked the Police Officers and they welcomed him. He went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite.
Cake Cream and Axl congratulated Andy on the Press Conference. Andy thanked them and they welcomed him. Andy told them that he got Zelled exactly 500 Million in cash. They all thanked him for his honesty and he welcomed them..
Andy's Press Conference was already going viral. People were wondering exactly who Drew Tyson was and talked about how lucky he was to have won 1.5 Billion in the Powerball before taxes and now 1.5 Billion in Mega Millions before taxes. That was 3 billion before taxes.
Andy blushed. He asked Axl in private if this would put a target on his back and pointed out that People were suspicious that he was Drew Tyson.
Axl responded,"You know what, maybe you should make a video as Drew Tyson and wear a disguise such as blue eye contacts and a long blond wig. You have short brown hair and brown eyes, so you want to not look like yourself at all. I can film your video from my burner phone. Andy thought that was a good idea. They made plans to film this in a secluded place tomorrow.
They all soon fell asleep.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. Axl and Andy told the rest of Cake Cream their plan. There was actually a motorcycle convention going on today and lots of People would be wearing motorcycle helmets like the kinds that Cake Cream and Axl wore. They put on their bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the motorcycle Convention where they had to pretend to be interested in Harley Davidson Motorcycle conversations.
They were REALLY good at acting like they loved Harley Davidson Motorcycles. The actual Harley Davidson Motorcycle lovers bought their act hook, line, and sinker. After the motorcycle convention, Axl and about 8 REAL motorcycle enthusiast all wearing motorcycle helmets went to a local costume store and Axl bought a long blonde wig and blue eye contacts for Andy. The other real motorcycle enthusiast bought similar things.
Axl left the costume store. Axl went back to Cake Cream and they all went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Axl washed the blonde wig and the blue eye contacts and he and Andy left both wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the secluded place. Axl gave Andy the blond wig and the blue eye contacts and Andy took off his motorcycle helmet and put on the blond wig and the blue eye contacts and Axl filmed Andy with his burner phone.
Andy looked COMPLETELY different from his usual self with the blue eye contacts and the long blond wig.
Andy used a changed voice and said,"Hi, I'm Drew Tyson, two time Lottery Winner. It's been amazing that I've been lucky enough to beat the Lottery odds TWICE this year and I plan to enjoy the money and live my life up with it. I'd like my privacy however and would love it if people would give me the decency to not hound around asking who I am. I actually plan to move to Antigua and live my life out in peace. Thank you. Drew Tyson, over and out."
Axl stopped filming. Axl thought Andy's video was good. Andy put back on his motorcycle helmet. Axl sent the video to YouTube and Andy and Axl went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite.
Soon, Axl's video of "Drew Tyson," went viral and people were even more intrigued on who Drew Tyson was. Thank God Andy was wearing a long blond wig and blue eye contacts.
The Lottery Officials were getting phone calls asking them who Drew Tyson was and the Lottery Officials were alarmed but refused to give out who Drew Tyson really was.
Andy, Cake Cream, and Axl were all relieved that the Lottery Officials refused to give out Andy's identity. Axl and Andy and the rest of Cake Cream all chilled for the rest of the day and then went to sleep.
Judge V, curmudgeon and spoil-sport that he is, readily saw through this bit of subterfuge, or was it abject stupidity?
He fired up his old PC in his chambers and wrote: "Anybody with a brain should compare how this guy sounded first when he had the press conference and then on the recent viral video. For whatever reason this idiot chose to try to clumsily change the sound of his voice in the second video: one has to wonder "WHY?"
He hit "send" and then chuckled to himself: "What fools these wannabe authors be..."
Judge V should have noticed that Andy changed his voice on BOTH press conferences and Axl's"Drew Tyson," video...;) It wasn't like he spoke with his real voice in the first press conference, and then changed it on the second press conferenceQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
, and then changed it again for Axl's Drew Tyson video. ;) The changed voice he used for the two press conferences and the Drew Tyson video was the same voice. ;)
Four AM, and all members of Cake Cream crammed into the laundry room.
"You all know why you're here" said Axl, "So let's get to it. Andy, you go first."
Andy reached into the hamper and pulled out a nasty, skanky smelling sock.
"OK, James, you're next."
So it went until all the boys had foul, vile socks in hand.
"Now, drop trou and put that sock around your cock."
Cake Cream complied, but while doing so someone goosed Mike, who shrieked like the little bitch he is.
"Let me turn on some music, then the fun can begin."
Axl went to the stereophonic console he'd bought at Goodwill and put on Fleetwood Mac's old classic about jerking off, "Rattlesnake Shake."
Then they began, and shortly after beginning one after the other they moaned and stopped the rhythmic motion.
Mike was the first to comment, saying "Holy moley, that was some of the best sex I ever had."
The others agreed and thanked him: they were welcomed.
Axl let them know the next move.
"I made a deal to launder all the socks of the local boys high school football team."
Hoots of joy and hope flowed from the lips of Cake Cream: finally, they'd all found something to believe in.
On Social Media, some creepy Fans asked a very weird and creepy question.
They asked Axl, " Have you and Older Axl ever thought of having sex with each other?
Axl was appalled and answered,"Um, no. Me having sex with Older Axl would be the equivalent of a Son having sex with his Father, so wrong and creepy. Actually, since Older Axl and I have the same Parents, Older Axl and I would be technically more like Brothers. Older Axl is the equivalent of having a Brother who is 35 years older than me It would still be wrong for me to have sex with my Older Brother. I know People tell me I can go fuck myself, but THIS is not what they had in mind. At least I hope not." Besides, Older Axl wouldn't be having sex with a man in the first place, and I wouldn't cheat on Billy, even with my Older Self, so, there you go."
Fans were like,"Okay, makes sense. " The Fans and Axl chatted for a little while and then said their goodbyes.
Cake Cream saw the creepy conversation and were appalled that Fans were asking him this in the first place.
Axl was like,"Some people are just plain weird. "
Everybody laughed.
On Social Media, Fans were asking how many People were in Cake Cream. Was it 5 or 6?
Axl responded," There are 6 Members of Cake Cream. Mike, the Lead Singer. Axl, the backing Singer, Andy, the Keyboardist, James, Lead Guitarist,Jimmy, the Bass Guitarist/Rhythm Guitarist, and Billy, the Drummer. Cake Cream all backed up Axl . Fans were satisfied with his answers.
A little later, On Social Media, it was announced that Axl Rose had passed away!
Axl gasped in shock and screamed,"Nooooooo!" Inhumanly. He couldn't believe Older Axl was dead. He knew he was still alive, so that must mean that Older Axl was dead. Axl cried uncontrollably.
Cake Cream heard Axl's agonized scream and all went to check on him. Axl tearfully told Cake Cream that Older Axl had died. He showed them the Axl Rose passing away thing on Social Media.
Cake Cream knew what a death hoax was, but Axl who was from 1987 had no idea what a death hoax was. They all encouraged Axl to just call Older Axl.
Axl was skeptical. "Older Axl is DEAD. He won't pick up the phone if he's DEAD. " Axl responded.
Cake Cream all were like,"We have a good feeling that Older Axl is still alive. Just call him," they urged Axl.
Axl called Older Axl's cellphone and it ring 7 times before going to voicemail. Axl's heart dropped. No! It couldn't be!"
Axl tearfully told Cake Cream that Older Axl didn't pick up his phone. Cake Cream were all worried. A few minutes later, Axl's cellphone rang and it was Older Axl.
Axl was beyond relieved and picked up the phone.
Older Axl said,"Axl, I missed your call because I was showering. What's up?"
Axl felt a profound feeling of relief and happiness wash over him. Older Axl wasn't dead!
Axl said ,"Thank God you're still alive, Axl!"
Older Axl was baffled. "Why would you think I wouldn't still be alive?
Axl told him about the death announcement of Axl Rose on Social Media. He said he was still alive, so they had to have been talking about Older Axl. Older Axl responded,"There's things called hoaxes where they falsely claim people who are still alive are dead.
Axl responded,"That seems REALLY mean."
Older Axl responded,"It is mean, but people with no lives like to Troll in this horrible way.
Older Axl added,"I'm W. Axl Rose, you're Axl Rose, so that means the hoax is saying YOU'RE the one who passed away."
Axl responded,"Holy shit, you're right! I hope no one ACTUALLY thinks I died!
Older Axl responded, "If any of us where dead, the other would have definitely known and felt it immediately."
Axl responded,"I'm just REALLY glad you're still alive, Axl.
Older Axl chuckled wryly. I'm glad I'm alive too and I'm glad you're alive too!" " he said wryly.
Older Axl and Axl chatted for a long time and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Soon on Social Media, it was revealed that the Axl Rose dead was a hoax. It was mentioned that 89 percent of People no longer found these death hoaxes funny anymore.
Axl said,"11 percent of people find death hoaxes funny? What the fuck? "
Cake Cream said,"We don't find them funny either."
Axl responded,"Good."
Axl thought about the fact that Cake Cream and Axl hadn't done a show in a little while. Axl asked Cake Cream if they wanted to do a Cake Cream Show soon. All of Cake Cream said,"Yes."
Axl smiled. On Social Media, Fans pointed out that Cake Cream and Axl hadn't done a show in a little while.
Cake Cream and Axl all chuckled at the coincidence.
Cake Cream and Axl put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to James L Knight Center and Axl booked them for tomorrow. Fans were happy.
They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and then went to sleep.
Unknown to the members of Cake Cream, the maid who serviced their luxurious suite at the Marriott had been paid by those pesky Paparazzi to put hidden camreras throughout their suite, and to download all that was captured daily.
One of the cameras was in the laundry room: whoops...
The day after the ceremonial 'sock it to me" a video of the boys bedecking their johnsons with smelly socks then coming in them went viral.
Axl was worried that this would lead to the band being booed off the stage that night, but hey, "the show must go on."
That night as they opened up their first set the fans threw hundreds of nasty, smelly socks at them (as well as an aardvark: go figure).
A fan held up a sign which read "We love you sock fuckers."
As the concert progressed the members of Cake Cream noticed that almost as one the men in the crowd dropped trou and proceeded to "build the beast with two backs" using their gym socks as a surrogate.
"I'm impressed," thought Axl: "Life really does imitate art."
Aw man, them being caught on camera masturbating with dirty socks would be so embarrassing for them. :/ Also, Cake Cream and Axl were secretly filmed splashing each other with a garden hose without their permission or acknowledgement and it went viral. Some People were like,"What weirdos splash each other with a garden hose?I get that it's hot outside, but get a damn pool!" Other People were like,"I wish I had good Friends I could splash around with a garden hose! " :D
But in all honesty,a lot of Cake Cream and Axl Fans are Gay and Bisexual so they'd support Cake Cream and Axl's sock masturbation kinky fetish. ;)
LOL
And DOWN the rabbit hole we go ...
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and practiced and then it was time for the show to start. The show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and was really good. Fans cheered wildly. During the break, Axl was asked how it felt being told on Social Media that he had died.
Axl responded,"I was shocked because I assumed that it when they said,"Axl Rose has passed away," they meant OLDER Axl had died. I knew I was still alive, so I automatically assumed that Older Axl was dead. I called Older Axl and was relieved he is still alive. He pointed out that Social Media said that I was the one who had died and I was shocked and hoped that no one ACTUALLY thought I was dead. He pointed out that Cake Cream were all there to comfort him and Cake Cream all backed him up.
Fans were like,"We're all glad both Axls are still alive and that Cake Cream comforted you, Axl!"
Axl and Cake Cream chuckled and were all like,"We're glad too!"
Fans, Axl, and Cake Cream all chatted for a while and then the break was over and the show was back on. The show was really good. Axl loved being the Backing Singer for Mike. Fans cheered wildly. The final sendoff happened to more wild cheering and the show was soon over.
After the show, they went to Denny's and had a nice late night Dinner. They paid and left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They chilled for a little bit and then went to sleep.
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day.
They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the ice skating rink. An Olympic Hopeful was doing REALLY good ice skating moves and Cake Cream and Axl cheered wildly. She blushed happily. She tried to do a quintuple Axle move, but failed.
Soon, she went to Cake Cream and Axl and said her goal in life was to perform a quintuple Axel move.
Axl smiled and told her the Axel is what he named himself after seeing a triple Axel at an Olympics show and he told her he'd love to see her do a quintuple Axel move. He told her he would pay her 20 Million to do a quintuple Axel move. Cake Cream all said they would add extra 10 million if she successfully did a quintuple Axel move. She could earn 70 Million by doing a quintuple Axel move! She agreed. Axl and Cake Cream Drew up a Contract that she read, understood, agreed, and signed. Cake Cream and Axl asked if they could film her and upload to YouTube. She agreed. They started filming her.
She smiled, even more motivated to do the quintuple Axel move. She continued trying hard to do the quintuple Axel move, but failing. Cake Cream and Axl all encouraged her to keep trying. She appreciated their enthusiasm and support and was even more determined to do that quintuple Axel move. She tried again, 1, Axel, 2 Axel,3, Axel,4, Axel, FIVE Axel moves! She made HISTORY, being the first ever person to do quintuple Axel moves in ice skating.
She had a triumphant smile on her face. Cake Cream and Axl Zelled her the combined 70 Million. She thanked them profusely. They welcomed her. She asked them for Autographs and Selfies and they obliged. She thanked them and was welcomed. They then asked for her Autographs and Selfies, being she just made history. She obliged. They thanked her and she welcomed them.
They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and Cake Cream and Axl all left and uploaded the video to YouTube. It soon went viral and lots of ice skating fans loved it. They were like,"Who is this Woman? Her quintuple Axel move is amazing! Axl and Cake Cream blushed happily, knowing they encouraged her to do that historical ice skating move. Cake Cream and Axl went to the bar and had wings, fries, Coke and rum and the news report did a report on the historical five Axel move. The other bar patrons and even the staff were like,"That's amazing, a quintuple Axel ice skating move!" Cake Cream and Axl were all happy. They all chatted and then left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They watched TV for a long time, chilling and then went to sleep.
The boys met in the laundry room again at 4 AM.
Axl opened with "I don't know about you guys, but I cannot get the image of that skater doing a quint out of my mind."
"Yeah, she was sort of "hot," you know?" said Mike.
All the members agreed; Mike thanked them and was welcomed.
"So to spice things up tonight I brought in my tablet and here's her video."
The boys gazed in rapt awe at the graceful ice angel spinning like a whirling dervish.
The movement of her skirt, the flecks of ice kicked up by her blades, her pasted on smile all aroused them as nothing had before: the "straights" wanted to bang her, the "gays"wanted to be her, and all were overcome with a most powerful longing.
They reached into the hamper for dirty socks, put them on and "went to town," the rhythm of life on full display.
A minute later, all spent, the boys mulled over the uncertainty of life.
"What if a piano fell on her?" asked Andy.
The image of a piano crushing her reduced all of Cake Cream to torrents of tears.
They watched the NBA 2002 Finals Interview on YouTube where Axl Rose was interviewed.
Axl said,"Who is this 17 year old boy posing as me in 2002?"
Cake Cream were all like,"Check out the appetite for destruction album Cross tattoo! It's you, Axl!
Axl looked at the appetite for destruction album Cross tattoo and was like,"Holy crap, it is me! But why do I look so young? In 2002, I was almost 40 .but yet here I look 17. Hell, I look YOUNGER in 2002 than I do now at 25.
Cake Cream were like,"Botox and healthy living and taking good care of yourself.
Axl was like,"Okay." Axl added,"I must have been REALLY calm in 2002 because that News Reporter is damn near KISSING me, all near my face like that and I don't even ask him to back away from me! If a Reporter put his face that damn near my face this year, I'd probably punch him!"
Cake Cream all laughed. They were like," We believe you!"
Axl laughed too. Axl pointed out in the NBA interview he looks overly shy and once again surmised he must have been REALLY calm in 2002. Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Axl said,"I can't believe they called me Axel Rose on a NEWS STATION. What Idiots can't spell Axl? It's a three letter name! Cake Cream were like,"They soon change it to the right spelling." Axl was like,"Okay. " Axl smiled when the News Station changed it to Axl Rose, the correct spelling. Axl also took notice of his 2002 self mentioning that this was his first basketball game in person. Axl said,"I waited until I was almost 40 to go to a basketball game? WHAT? And who the hell is this Basketball Player named Allen Iverson who I seem to be starstruck by? Is he a good basketball player?" Cake Cream filled him in. Axl smiled.
Axl soon asked Cake Cream,"What do you think of me getting my hair braided? Would it look good on me?"
Cake Cream were all thinking,"This is late 2002 Axl talking."
They all said,"Please don't get your hair braided. You got braids in late 2002 and you looked weird."
Axl was like,"Hmm okay, so 86 on the braids."
Cake Cream were all relieved and smiled.
Axl realized that he hadn't spent a lot of time being affectionate with Billy lately. He asked Billy to come to their room and Billy obliged happily. Billy and Axl went to their room and made out and cuddled for a long time. Billy and Axl were content, just laying back and relaxing and enjoying each other's affection. Billy soon fell asleep in Axl's arms. Axl felt contently happy and soon fell asleep himself too.
They all got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. They decided to go to the Insurance company to get a payout on Billy's burned down house. Axl had secured important paperwork digitally and they weren't just paper contracts. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left. They went to the Insurance Company and spoke to the Insurance Agent about getting a payout. Since Billy wasn't the one who burned down his house, they could get a hefty payout on Billy's burned down house.
Axl showed the Insurance Agent the importany paperwork. Billy's house was worth $500,000. The furniture was was worth $20,000. The instruments that burned in the fire were also worth $20,000. Cake Cream and Axl's clothes were worth $10,000. 6 TV's, 6 computers, were worth $20,000. Miscellaneous things were worth $10,000.
The insurance agent offered them a payout of a VERY generous million. They agreed to take the deal and contracts were drawn up, read, understood, agreed and signed. The Insurance Agent Zelled roughly $166,000 to Axl and Cake Cream and they were all happy. They thanked the Insurance Agent and was welcomed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and left.
They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Axl decided to take a look at the GoFundMe that was set up for his Bail the first time he turned himself in for Assault and property damage. He saw that Billy, Jimmy, James, Andy, and Mike had all given $3,000 each, and other various fans had provided the rest.
He Zelled Andy, Mike, James, Billy, and Jimmy $6,000 each and had contacted GoFundMe in order to give $50,000 combined for the Fans who donated $25,000 for his bond. The Fans were pleasantly surprised to get double their money back. Mike, Billy, James, Andy, and Mike were all pleasantly surprised to get double their money back too. Axl smiled at all of them.
Claven Records called Axl's cellphone and Axl and Axl wondered why Claven Records was calling him. He and Cake Cream had quit Claven Records a while ago.
Axl picked up the phone and Timothy said,"Hi, Axl, how are you doing?
Axl responded warily,"I'm fine, Timothy, how are you?"
Timothy responded,"Not doing good at all. Claven Records is in BIG trouble."
Axl asked,"What's going on?"
Timothy responded,"Well, we just recently fired an Employee, and that Employee hacked into our system and corrupted all of the files out of revenge and anger, so a LOT of Artist's files are ruined. Could you please help us out?""
Axl responded,"Oh no. What do you need help with?"
Timothy responded to"Can you, Jimmy, James, Billy, Mike, and Andy give us like a combined 200 Million so we can fix the corrupted files and upgrade to a better system?
Axl was like,"Asking us for a combined 200 million is very steep. Aren't you guys worth like 700 Million?
Timothy said,"No. The ex Employee stole almost all of our roughly $700 Million. We're basically broke, hence why we fired him."
Axl had a gut wrenching Dejavu, thinking about Andy stealing 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream. He had a lot of empathy for Claven Records.
Axl took a deep breath and said,"Okay. I'll talk to the Cake Cream Boys and try to get them to help you and I'll help you too."
Timothy was grateful. Thank you, Axl!" Timothy said gratefully. Axl welcomed him. They chatted for a while and then hung up.
Axl told Cake Cream Claven Records predictament. They were reluctant to help out, but Axl pointed out that Claven Records helped them out before. He looked deeply at Andy and said,"Andy, you should be the FIRST one stepping up to the plate on this one, considering the fact that you stole 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream, much like the ex Claven Records Employee stole almost $700 Million from Claven Records." Mike, Billy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Axl.
Andy blushed shyly." I gave back all the money I stole,plus extra."
Axl said,"We know. But the fact you stole the money in the first place should mean you should be the FIRST one stepping up to the plate on this one." Mike, Billy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Axl again.
Andy was like,"You guys still resent me stealing that $1.6 Billion from you guys, don't you."
Mike, Billy, James, Axl, and Jimmy were all like,"Yes."
Andy said,"It was an impulsive decision I made that I soon felt REALLY bad about. I paid back all the money I stole, plus extra. I never should have stolen that money and I'm sorry I ever stole that money."
Mike said bitingly," You were also sorry you tried to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000 and you still stole $1.6 Billion from us even after you were sorry for trying to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000. James, Jimmy, Axl, and Billy backed up Mike.
Andy said emotionally,"We barely even knew Axl and we were only worth about $15,000 each when I suggested that we sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000!
Axl looked at Andy deeply and asked,"If I were a Fugitive today hiding from the Authorities and you knew where I was, would you attempt to sell me out?"
Andy said,"No, I wouldn't attempt to sell you out of you were a Fugitive today."
Axl was like,"Okay." Axl drew up a Contract that stated that Andy was NEVER going to steal money from Cake Cream or Axl. Or sell them out. Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Andy read, understood, agreed and signed. Cake Cream and Axl all signed as Witnesses. Everybody smiled. Axl stored the Contract digitally.
They decided to go help out Claven Records in PERSON because they thought of the fact that someone could have been spoofing Claven Records phone number and been trying to scam them out of 200 Million. But even if the person was trying to scam them, the money would go to Claven Records and not the Scammer. Still, they decided to do it in person.
They went to Claven Records and spoke face to face with Timothy and Timothy looked really despondent like he was in big trouble.
Timothy said,"Claven Records is only worth about $5 Million due to our thieving ex employee. Please help us."
Axl, James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, and Andy all took deep breaths and agreed to help out Claven Records. Timothy was delighted. Axl decided to draw up a Contract that stated that the $200 Million was PURELY for Claven Records to fix the damage the thieving ex employee had done. Axl wanted to make sure Claven Records wasn't running a scam. Axl told Timothy this and Cake Cream backed up Axl. Timothy responded,"You guys really think we'd be trying to scam you guys?
Axl responded in his authoritative Business Manager type of voice"We just want to make sure there's nothing fishy going on. Asking us for 200 Million is awfully steep. We want to help you, but we don't want to be played for fools." Cake Cream were once again impressed by Axl's authoritative Business Manager persona and all backed up Axl.
Timothy promised it wasn't a scam. Axl said,"Sign Contract and we'll Zelle you the $200 Million." Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Timothy agreed and called a few Claven Records Executives and Cake Cream and Axl told them the Contract plan.
Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives agreed and Axl and Cake Cream Drew up the Contract. Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives read, understood, agreed and signed. Cake Cream and Axl all signed too. Cake Cream and Axl all Zelled Claven Records all roughly $33 Million. Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives were thankful and Cake Cream and Axl welcomed them. Axl and Cake Cream decided to Zelle Claven Records another combined $100 Million for "Fun," money for Claven Records. Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives were thankful and Cake Cream and Axl welcomed them. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.
Axl and Cake Cream went to Denny's again. They couldn't believe they gave $300 Million to Claven Records, but knew it was the right thing to do. Claven Records needed their help desperately and had helped them out multiple times. They had a nice brunch and paid and left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled.
They watched the NBA 2002 Finals Interview on YouTube where Axl Rose was interviewed.
Axl said,"Who is this 17 year old boy posing as me in 2002?"
Cake Cream were all like,"Check out the appetite for destruction album Cross tattoo! It's you, Axl!
Axl looked at the appetite for destruction album Cross tattoo and was like,"Holy crap, it is me! But why do I look so young? In 2002, I was almost 40 .but yet here I look 17. Hell, I look YOUNGER in 2002 than I do now at 25.
Cake Cream were like,"Botox and healthy living and taking good care of yourself.
Axl was like,"Okay." Axl added,"I must have been REALLY calm in 2002 because that News Reporter is damn near KISSING me, all near my face like that and I don't even ask him to back away from me! If a Reporter put his face that damn near my face this year, I'd probably punch him!"
Cake Cream all laughed. They were like," We believe you!"
Axl laughed too. Axl pointed out in the NBA interview he looks overly shy and once again surmised he must have been REALLY calm in 2002. Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Axl said,"I can't believe they called me Axel Rose on a NEWS STATION. What Idiots can't spell Axl? It's a three letter name! Cake Cream were like,"They soon change it to the right spelling." Axl was like,"Okay. " Axl smiled when the News Station changed it to Axl Rose, the correct spelling. Axl also took notice of his 2002 self mentioning that this was his first basketball game in person. Axl said,"I waited until I was almost 40 to go to a basketball game? WHAT? And who the hell is this Basketball Player named Allen Iverson who I seem to be starstruck by? Is he a good basketball player?" Cake Cream filled him in. Axl smiled.
Axl soon asked Cake Cream,"What do you think of me getting my hair braided? Would it look good on me?"
Cake Cream were all thinking,"This is late 2002 Axl talking."
They all said,"Please don't get your hair braided. You got braids in late 2002 and you looked weird."
Axl was like,"Hmm okay, so 86 on the braids."
Cake Cream were all relieved and smiled.
Axl realized that he hadn't spent a lot of time being affectionate with Billy lately. He asked Billy to come to their room and Billy obliged happily. Billy and Axl went to their room and made out and cuddled for a long time. Billy and Axl were content, just laying back and relaxing and enjoying each other's affection. Billy soon fell asleep in Axl's arms. Axl felt contently happy and soon fell asleep himself too.
They all got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. They decided to go to the Insurance company to get a payout on Billy's burned down house. Axl had secured important paperwork digitally and they weren't just paper contracts. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left. They went to the Insurance Company and spoke to the Insurance Agent about getting a payout. Since Billy wasn't the one who burned down his house, they could get a hefty payout on Billy's burned down house.
Axl showed the Insurance Agent the importany paperwork. Billy's house was worth $500,000. The furniture was was worth $20,000. The instruments that burned in the fire were also worth $20,000. Cake Cream and Axl's clothes were worth $10,000. 6 TV's, 6 computers, were worth $20,000. Miscellaneous things were worth $10,000.
The insurance agent offered them a payout of a VERY generous million. They agreed to take the deal and contracts were drawn up, read, understood, agreed and signed. The Insurance Agent Zelled roughly $166,000 to Axl and Cake Cream and they were all happy. They thanked the Insurance Agent and was welcomed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and left.
They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Axl decided to take a look at the GoFundMe that was set up for his Bail the first time he turned himself in for Assault and property damage. He saw that Billy, Jimmy, James, Andy, and Mike had all given $3,000 each, and other various fans had provided the rest.
He Zelled Andy, Mike, James, Billy, and Jimmy $6,000 each and had contacted GoFundMe in order to give $50,000 combined for the Fans who donated $25,000 for his bond. The Fans were pleasantly surprised to get double their money back. Mike, Billy, James, Andy, and Mike were all pleasantly surprised to get double their money back too. Axl smiled at all of them.
Claven Records called Axl's cellphone and Axl and Axl wondered why Claven Records was calling him. He and Cake Cream had quit Claven Records a while ago.
Axl picked up the phone and Timothy said,"Hi, Axl, how are you doing?
Axl responded warily,"I'm fine, Timothy, how are you?"
Timothy responded,"Not doing good at all. Claven Records is in BIG trouble."
Axl asked,"What's going on?"
Timothy responded,"Well, we just recently fired an Employee, and that Employee hacked into our system and corrupted all of the files out of revenge and anger, so a LOT of Artist's files are ruined. Could you please help us out?""
Axl responded,"Oh no. What do you need help with?"
Timothy responded to"Can you, Jimmy, James, Billy, Mike, and Andy give us like a combined 200 Million so we can fix the corrupted files and upgrade to a better system?
Axl was like,"Asking us for a combined 200 million is very steep. Aren't you guys worth like 700 Million?
Timothy said,"No. The ex Employee stole almost all of our roughly $700 Million. We're basically broke, hence why we fired him."
Axl had a gut wrenching Dejavu, thinking about Andy stealing 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream. He had a lot of empathy for Claven Records.
Axl took a deep breath and said,"Okay. I'll talk to the Cake Cream Boys and try to get them to help you and I'll help you too."
Timothy was grateful. Thank you, Axl!" Timothy said gratefully. Axl welcomed him. They chatted for a while and then hung up.
Axl told Cake Cream Claven Records predictament. They were reluctant to help out, but Axl pointed out that Claven Records helped them out before. He looked deeply at Andy and said,"Andy, you should be the FIRST one stepping up to the plate on this one, considering the fact that you stole 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream, much like the ex Claven Records Employee stole almost $700 Million from Claven Records." Mike, Billy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Axl.
Andy blushed shyly." I gave back all the money I stole,plus extra."
Axl said,"We know. But the fact you stole the money in the first place should mean you should be the FIRST one stepping up to the plate on this one." Mike, Billy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Axl again.
Andy was like,"You guys still resent me stealing that $1.6 Billion from you guys, don't you."
Mike, Billy, James, Axl, and Jimmy were all like,"Yes."
Andy said,"It was an impulsive decision I made that I soon felt REALLY bad about. I paid back all the money I stole, plus extra. I never should have stolen that money and I'm sorry I ever stole that money."
Mike said bitingly," You were also sorry you tried to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000 and you still stole $1.6 Billion from us even after you were sorry for trying to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000. James, Jimmy, Axl, and Billy backed up Mike.
Andy said emotionally,"We barely even knew Axl and we were only worth about $15,000 each when I suggested that we sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000!
Axl looked at Andy deeply and asked,"If I were a Fugitive today hiding from the Authorities and you knew where I was, would you attempt to sell me out?"
Andy said,"No, I wouldn't attempt to sell you out of you were a Fugitive today."
Axl was like,"Okay." Axl drew up a Contract that stated that Andy was NEVER going to steal money from Cake Cream or Axl. Or sell them out. Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Andy read, understood, agreed and signed. Cake Cream and Axl all signed as Witnesses. Everybody smiled. Axl stored the Contract digitally.
They decided to go help out Claven Records in PERSON because they thought of the fact that someone could have been spoofing Claven Records phone number and been trying to scam them out of 200 Million. But even if the person was trying to scam them, the money would go to Claven Records and not the Scammer. Still, they decided to do it in person.
They went to Claven Records and spoke face to face with Timothy and Timothy looked really despondent like he was in big trouble.
Timothy said,"Claven Records is only worth about $5 Million due to our thieving ex employee. Please help us."
Axl, James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, and Andy all took deep breaths and agreed to help out Claven Records. Timothy was delighted. Axl decided to draw up a Contract that stated that the $200 Million was PURELY for Claven Records to fix the damage the thieving ex employee had done. Axl wanted to make sure Claven Records wasn't running a scam. Axl told Timothy this and Cake Cream backed up Axl. Timothy responded,"You guys really think we'd be trying to scam you guys?
Axl responded in his authoritative Business Manager type of voice"We just want to make sure there's nothing fishy going on. Asking us for 200 Million is awfully steep. We want to help you, but we don't want to be played for fools." Cake Cream were once again impressed by Axl's authoritative Business Manager persona and all backed up Axl.
Timothy promised it wasn't a scam. Axl said,"Sign Contract and we'll Zelle you the $200 Million." Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Timothy agreed and called a few Claven Records Executives and Cake Cream and Axl told them the Contract plan.
Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives agreed and Axl and Cake Cream Drew up the Contract. Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives read, understood, agreed and signed. Cake Cream and Axl all signed too. Cake Cream and Axl all Zelled Claven Records all roughly $33 Million. Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives were thankful and Cake Cream and Axl welcomed them. Axl and Cake Cream decided to Zelle Claven Records another combined $100 Million for "Fun," money for Claven Records. Timothy and the other Claven Records Executives were thankful and Cake Cream and Axl welcomed them. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.
Axl and Cake Cream went to Denny's again. They couldn't believe they gave $300 Million to Claven Records, but knew it was the right thing to do. Claven Records needed their help desperately and had helped them out multiple times. They had a nice brunch and paid and left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled.
Axl used his shoe phone to call Timothy at Claven Records.
"Tim, we'd like you to come over tonight at four AM, we've much to discuss."
Tim arrived at four and joined the boys in the laundry room.
Axl explained what they were up to and asked Timothy to join them; he reluctantly agreed, not because he objected to having sex with dirty socks, but because he preferred to have sex with warmed up pumpkins and gourds (just drill a hole and go to town).
Mid-thrust Axl asked Timothy "Say, I was just wondering: did you report the theft to the police?"
Timothy began to sweat, but not due to sexual excitement.
"Uh, no..."
"Did you turn it into your insurance company?"
Timothy's brow poured out perspiration.
"Damn me, no, I never thought about doing either of those two things."
Hearing this, as if on cue, the members of Cake Cream all turned toward Timothy, removed the socks from their throbbing members and stroked maniacally til spewing all over Timothy, who was speechless.
"Timothy, that is only a sample of how Cake Cream will FUCK you if you don't return that money by noon today. Now get out."
He got out.
Mr. V, the $300 Million Cake Cream and Axl gave Claven Records was a GIFT, not a loan. ;) Claven Records doesn't owe Cake Cream and Axl anything. ;)
Timothy LIED THROUGH HIS TEETH about it and scammed the boys.
He never reported it to the cops or to their insurance company.
Hello, McFly?
Think "Fraud in the inducement," OK?
Or are you saying Axl knowingly gave them money, fully aware it was a fraud?
You do remember that this story is being written on another Website, right? ;) But do to the posting limit, I only have six posts ala day limit, so I can't post a lot of Chapters in the same day. :/ he next Chapter will reveal that Claven Records/Timothy wasn't lying. ;) Also, the Contract that Timothy/Claven Records signed that they promised it wasn't a scam is legally binding. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
They watched Beverly Hills Cop and Axl said,"Axel Foley's first name was named after me". Cake Cream all giggled. They were skeptical, as Axl was only 22 when Beverly Hills Cop was released in 1984 and wasn't worldwide known yet.
James said,"So at only 22 you were the inspiration for the Axel Foley name?" Billy, Jimmy, Mike and Andy all continued giggling.
Axl said,"Hey, King Tut was only like NINE when he became an Egyptian Ruler! Stranger things have happened then me being the inspiration for the Axel Foley name!"
Mike said,"Why isn't this a world wide known fact?" Cake Cream all backed up Mike.
Axl said,"Because I didn't want to be swarmed with Fans of Beverly Hills Cop."
Jimmy asked,"How much were you paid to have the Axel Foley named after you?
Axl said,"I was paid 30 Million to have the Axel Foley named after me."
Cake Cream all continued giggling. They felt that Axl was full of shit.
Andy asked,"Why is the character named Axel Foley and not Axl Rose if he is indeed named after you?"
Axl responded,"Because I didn't want to make it glaringly obvious. I'm the only one named Axl Rose and it would have been a dead giveaway to name him Axl Rose."
Billy said at 22, you were for the large part unknown. WHY would the Beverly Hills Cop movie staff name their character after someone who was still pretty much an Average Joe in 1984?"
Axl and,"Because they wanted to. They had a feeling I was going to become a huge success really soon.
Cake Cream all laughed again. How full of shit was Axl?
Axl was like,"Fine, don't believe me then."
Cake Cream were like,"Okay, you said it, not us."
Axl and Cake Cream all laughed.
Axl and Cake Cream finished watching Beverly Hills Cop and Axl saw that a movie named A.X.L was next. Axl called Older Axl and asked him if he told the A.X.L. movie staff they could name it A.X.L.. Older Axl replied he had not, just what Axl was thinking. They chatted for a little while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Axl asked Cake Cream if he could sue the A.X.L movie staff for copyright infringement since he was the only one who spelled his name Axl and he nor Older Axl had given the A.X.L. movie staff permission to name it that.
Cake Cream urged him to just let it go and advised him that suing the movie staff could be more trouble than it was worth. Axl decided to take Cake Cream's advice not sue. Cake Cream all breathed sighs of relief. They didn't want Axl looking like a prima Donna or anything like that. They all watched the A.X.L. sci-fi movie and enjoyed it. After the movie, they ate and chilled more and then went to sleep.
When they got up, they ate and got ready for the day. On YouTube, Charles Winters, the ex Claven Records Employee filmed himself bragging about stealing $695 Million from Claven Records. He also bragged about hacking into the system and corrupting the Claven Records files after being fired. He was an idiot. His video went viral and Posters were ragging and dragging him hard calling him a fucking nasty thief.
Cake Cream and Axl laughed. Charles probably thought he'd get a lot of praise for his actions, but instead he was getting harshly criticized. As he should be. Axl told Cake Cream,"Some people will do anything for clot." They knew what he was trying to say, clout, and they agreed with him.
Axl also said,"He just incriminated himself on YouTube, admitting to Grand Larceny Theft and property damage and a case could be built against him. A smart person wouldn't have admitted this to YouTube of all places. " Cake Cream all nodded.
Charles responded saying something like,"Why am I being attacked? I'm a Multimillionaire now. I should be getting praise!"
Posters replied,"You're only a Multimillionaire because you stole that money. You don't deserve even a penny of that money. What you deserve is a hefty prison sentence. You're a fucking thief who should give Claven Records back all the money you stole from them and then you need to rot in a prison cell for decades."
Charles was stunned that no one was giving him praise for stealing $695 Million from Claven Records, just harsh criticism.
Charles got harassing phone calls cussing him out for the theft and Charles couldn't believe how this turned out.
Axl and Cake Cream had their answers that Claven Records really was fucked over by Charles and Claven Records weren't scamming them.
Current Claven Records Artists wondered about their music now that Charles had corrupted all the Claven Records files.
Timothy from Claven Records said on the news that VERY generous Donors saved the day with $200 Million and they fixed all the corrupted files and upgraded to a better system and they were extremely grateful to those VERY generous Donors. The Artists were all relieved. Cake Cream and Axl all smirked smugly, knowing THEY were the VERY generous Donors.
James pointed out that realistically, most people would have asked Claven Records to show them the corrupted files before giving them the $200 Million. Cake Cream and Axl were like,"Good point," and Axl pointed out,"But we drew up a Contract that stated that they weren't running a scam and they signed it and then we gave them the money." Cake Cream all backed up Axl. They chilled in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and then went to sleep.
Axl booked another Cake Cream show at the James L Knight Center for tomorrow. Fans were delighted. Cake Cream and Axl chilled until the next day.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day and put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight. They practiced more, and Andy played Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills Cop on keyboard as a wink to Axl Rose. Axl was honored and the rest of Cake Cream liked this too. Soon it was time for the Show to start.
50,000 Cake Cream Fans showed up and Cake Cream and Axl were happy.
Andy played Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills Cop on keyboard and some Fans were like,"That's Crazy Frog without Crazy Frog!" Cake Cream laughed, but Axl was confused. Axl didn't know what Crazy Frog was. Other Fans were like,"Andy's actually playing Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills Cop. " Andy, Axl, and the rest of Cake Cream confirmed this, smiling.
The crowd cheered wildly. After playing Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills, Andy said,"I hope you enjoyed me playing Axl's theme on the keyboard!" Andy cleverly called it Axl's theme after playing it rather than Axel Foley. Cake Cream and Axl all giggled at the cleverness. There was more wild cheering.
The show continued and was really good. The audience cheered wildly. At the end of the Show, Andy played Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills Cop again, and the Audience cheered wildly. The final sendoff happened to more wild cheering and then the show was over. Cake Cream and Axl went to Denny's and had a nice brunch.
Today's show was already going viral and Fans were like,"I love that Andy played Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills Cop! That's one of the most classic 80's songs of all time!" Fans also pointed out that Andy called it Axl's theme and wondered if he was referring to Axl Rose or Axel Foley. Fans pointed out they had the same first name, technically.
Cake Cream and Axl all giggled happily. They paid and left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled more. On YouTube, Axel Foley's theme from Beverly Hills Cop was getting a LOT more views, like 100 Million views in just a couple of hours and a LOT more comments saying stuff like,"Andy from Cake Cream rocked this on keyboard at the Cake Cream show today!"
Cake Cream and Axl were happy. They chilled even more and then went to sleep.
Upon arising, Axl blew both his nose and Andy, then munched some left over lettuce wraps while idly watching local TV news.
He nearly choked when he heard the announcer say "...and the death toll continues to rise after the fiasco at the James L. Knight Center Cake Cream concert last night..."
WTF?
"Boys, get in here and listen to this:" the boys put down their yo-yo's, jews harps and dirty socks and gathered around.
"...responsibility is still trying to be determined. It currently appears that the James L. Knight Center had just been sold to Charles the thief, and that he and his minions crammed fifty thousand paying patrons into a facility designed to seat less than one-tenth that amount, with predictable results. Oh, the humanity."
Images of the post-concert aftermath showed thousands of crushed Cake Cream fans awash in a sea of blood.
"Why didn't we notice what was going on last night?"
Andy blushed, then said "Well, probably because I spiked our dinner with ketamine."
Mike thanked him and was welcomed, but the others scowled.
"Fuck it, not our problem" said Axl: "All that red is making me hungry. Let's go get some strawberry blizzards at DQ."
They cheered, grabbed their pogo sticks and bounced off into the heart of the new day.
Mr. V, yep, James L Knight Center only seats about 4,500 people, and I constantly post that 50,000 Fans showed up to the James L Knight Center to see Cake Cream, knowing full well that the James L Knight Center only seats about 4,500 people! :D
Edit.
A Poster on the other Website said something like,"Real world James L Knight Center seats about 4,500 fans. Karen Nathan's Fictional Story, James L Knight Center fits 50,000 Fans! I love it! :D But I seriously hope that no one in the real world ACTUALLY goes to the James L Knight Center hoping to see a huge Stadium that fits 50,000 fans and sees this little Center that only seats about 4,500 people. :/
Yes, and look what happens when you exercise your "artistic license:" let their deaths be on your hands.
In my defense, you can easily look up James L Knight Center on Google and you can see how many seats it has. Even the picture of the James L Knight Center Seating clearly is way less than 50,000 seats. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
They got up and ate and got ready for the day. They watched the morning News and Allison did a scathing prison interview where she trashed Cake Cream and Axl. She said,"Jimmy and James have VERY small penises. I saw Billy doing lines of Cocaine when he thought no one was looking. I saw Andy looking at Gay porn. I overheard Billy and Axl talking about how Andy tried to sell out Axl for $5,000 when they were hiding Axl from the Authorities when Axl was on the run!" I saw Mike masturbating to Straight Porn!"
Oh no, Cake Cream and Axl thought, Allison just told their secrets in that interview. Tongues were sure to be wagging. Axl was like,"I'm going to go drink some Coke now, can't believe our secrets are out like this. Axl drank about 4 glasses of Coke. Cake Cream knew that Axl drinking Coke excessively meant he was feeling stressed.
Andy asked,"Are we all going to go to jail for perjury, hiding you when you were a Fugitive on the run and Billy being a drug addict?" Billy, Mike, Jimmy and James were all worried too.
Axl looked deeply at all of them and said,"Hopefully not. We can just point out that Allison is on record committing Perjury and false allegations of Rape. Allison won't look good. "
Cake Cream all breathed worried sighs of relief, a true oxymoron. They decided to go to the mall as if it were another normal day. They were determined to not let Allison's scathing interview mess with their heads too much. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left. They went to the mall and we're trying to have a good time, but Paparazzi were harassing them and asking if Allison was telling the whole truth in that scathing interview that aired on the morning News.
Axl responded,"Allison's the same woman who committed Perjury and false allegations of Rape in Court, so this proves Allison has lied before."
Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
The Paparazzi asked Axl if he promised to God that Allison was lying in that scathing interview. Axl's stomach turned violently and his heart skipped several beats. He couldn't promise to God that Allison was lying in that scathing interview because she was telling the truth. Axl said,"I really don't feel like talking to Paparazzi now!" Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
Paparazzi still continued to ask if Allison was lying in that interview and if he promised to God that she was lying. Axl took out his cellphone and played on his cellphone, his way of telling Paparazzi this interview was over. Cake Cream all followed Axl's lead and played with their cellphones too. The Paparazzi got tired of being ignored and sulked off. Cake Cream and Axl all smirked. They had fun at the mall.
After the mall they went to the bar and had wings, fries and Coke and rum. Axl told Cake Cream he wanted to sing Back Off Bitch by Guns N'Roses exactly how it was sung, but this time, it would be about Allison. Cake Cream were all onboard with this as they all felt Allison was a Bitch. Axl smiled and went to Karaoke and said,"I'd like to sing a Guns N'Roses song today. The Audience and Cake Cream all cheered for Axl.
Axl sang emotionally
Oh baby, pretty baby
Oh honey, you let me down honey
I ain't playin' childhood games no more
I said it's time for me
To even the score
So stake your claim
Your claim to fame
But baby call another name
When you feel the fire
And taste the flame
Back off, back off bitch
Down in the gutter dyin' in the ditch
You better back off, back off bitch
Face of an angel with the love of a witch
Back off, back off bitch
Back off, back off bitch
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Makin' love
Cheap heartbreaker, broken backed
Nasty ballbreaker, stay out of my bed, outta my head
If it's lovin' you
I'm better off dead
Back off, back off bitch
Down in the gutter dyin' in the ditch
You better back off, back off bitch
Face of an angel with the love of a witch
Back off, back off bitch
Back off, back off bitch
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh
Emotions ripped, gone on a binge
Life lipped, I said you're off the hinge
Tellin' lies of such fame and glory
I don't even want to hear your story
Back off, back off bitch
Down in the gutter dyin' in the ditch
You better back off, back off bitch
Face of an angel with the love of a witch
Back off, back off bitch
It's such a pity that you're such a bitch
Back off, back off bitch
It's time to forget, forget you bitch(Axl thought the original lyric, "It's time to burn, burn the witch might be too far)
Back off, back off bitch
Back off, back off bitch
Back off, back off bitch
Back off, back off bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch, bitch
Hey wha'd'ya think he's tryin' to say there, anyway?
I think it's something each person's s'posed to take in their own special way
Fucking bitch
Axl in 1991 singing Back Off Bitch sounded more like he was tired and over the woman in the song, but in 2022 Axl sounded full of passionate, angry, hateful, viritrol, sounding even more pissed off in 2022, than he did in the 1991 version. The Audience and Cake Cream cheered wildly. Axl smiled and got off the stage. He rejoined Cake Cream and they continued having a good time. They left in about an hour and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled more.
Jimmy and James blushed crimson when they read Allyson's claim that they have VERY small penises.
"Is that true?" Axl asked them?
"Well, it depends," said Jimmy "On whom or what we're compared to; compared to Rob Singer's nine inch schlong then yes, but compared to a hamster then no."
James nodded his head and thanked Jimmy and was welcomed.
"Drop trou and let me see" barked Axl: they dropped, he espied the goods, then said "Holy shit, thimble dicks."
Axl pondered the quandary then gave them each two clean gym socks.
"Now don't go jerking off into these ones, they aren't filthy dirty; when you go out in public stick them down the front of your pants and pad your miniscule cocks."
James and Jimmy nodded while playing Minecraft on their phones.
Andy said "Yeah, be a couple of sock tuckers."
Nobody laughed; Andy blushed and left the room in disgrace.
"Problem solved" concluded Axl erroneously; unbeknownst to him their problems had only just begun.
The Back Off Bitch bar performance was already going viral. Haters of Cake Cream and Axl were like,"Axl should be cancelled over this, calling a Woman a Bitch in 2023! Shame on him! "
Axl asked Cake Cream,"What does cancelled mean in 2023? Is it like canceling a TV Show?"
Cake Cream were like,"Basically, the Haters are implying that you should be shunned."
Axl was like,"Allison deserved that song, I shouldn't be shunned over it, she really is a lying, conniving, evil, cold hearted Bitch."
Cake Cream all backed up Axl. Axl smiled.
Fans stood up for Axl saying,"Allison literally fucked over her Boyfriend with his Brother! At least James quickly realized he made a mistake having sex with Allison, but Allison is STILL being a downright Count! Axl is completely right!".
Axl blushed shyly at the support of his Fans. Axl posted, "I never Allison's name in Back Off Bitch, but thank you guys for the support.
Fans were skeptical about Axl's answer about Allison not being said I'm Back Off Bitch, but welcomed him. Axl and the Fans chatted for a bit and then said their goodbyes.
For fun, Axl suggested to Cake Cream that he write a list of Cake Cream and Axl's friends and enemies. Cake Cream thought that would be fun. Axl smiled and wrote, "Enemies. Brian Washington, Mr. Wealthy, Charles Martin, Max Kendall, Allison Peters, John Wilson, Maxwell Nichols, Mark Riley, Billy's Prosecutor.
Friends and Acquaintances. Rocking Rick, Timothy Wilkinson, Older Axl, Slash, Duff, Izzy, Steven, Melissa from Guns N'Roses, Melissa The Waitress, Frank, Richard, Dizzy, Sam, Patrick, Dean, Matthew, the Manager from the Local Marriott, the LYFT Driver, the Manager from the Olympic Stadium, Kenny, Thomas (Wild Water), Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Mick Jagger, James's Medical Staff, Jim from Jim's Mixed Martial Arts.
Axl was like,"We have more Friends and Acquaintances than Enemies, so that's good." Axl was smiling. Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Cake Cream and Axl all chatted about how quickly things escalated from when Brian Washington was their biggest problem.
Axl said,"Yep, we had no idea what we were going to be headed into when I punched Brian Washington in his face and broke his camera for harassing, stalking, filming and following me around! " Axl laughed and Cake Cream laughed too.
Jimmy said,"Actually, this all started when I lifted up your sleeve at the "We made it!" Party and revealed your Appetite For Destruction Album Cross Tattoo when we still thought you were Michael Randall Johnson. " Cake Cream all backed up Jimmy.
Axl was like,"Yep, you're right, Jimmy. Wow, we've come so far since then. Who knew that revealing my Tattoo at the party would lead to all these ups and downs? " Cake Cream and Axl all giggled. Axl added,"I wonder were Cake Cream would be today if you guys and the the general public STILL thought I was Michael Randall Johnson to this day." Cake Cream answered,"Hopefully, we'd still be successful to this day." Everybody smiled. James said,"A lot of things wouldn't have happened however like Brian Washington wouldn't have been stalking, filming, harassing, and following Michael Randall Johnson.
Andy said,"Axl wouldn't ever have been a Fugitive on the run if Brian Washington thought that Axl was Michael Randall Johnson.
Axl looked at Andy deeply and said,"And you never would have attempted to sell me out for $5,000 had I never been a Fugitive on the run."
Andy blushed. Andy said,"I'm REALLY sorry about that."
Axl responded,"I know."
Cake Cream and Axl all chatted about how JIMMY started the chain of events by revealing Axl's Tattoo at the party early on.
Axl responded,"Actually, I PUBLICLY started the chain of events when I got up on stage and covered for Older Axl when he lost his voice at the first Guns N'Roses Show I went to in 2022. The News begun wondering if I was really Axl Rose who time traveled from 1987 to 2022. Before I went on stage to cover for Older Axl, people just said stuff like,"You look just like Axl Rose! I dyed my hair black so People would stop telling me I looked just like myself!" Axl laughed.
Cake Cream laughed too. Axl paused thoughtfully. "Actually, the Guns N'Roses Fans I ran into within my first moments of being in 2022 did keep making jokes that I was Axl Rose. Fans tend to know more than people who don't care about Guns N'Roses." Cake Cream backed up Axl. They all chatted for a while.
On the News, Allison did another scathing prison interview, where she said,"Axl and Cake Cream have a creepy codependency on each other. They have an extremely toxic relationship and friendship with each other. It's very disturbing. I saw Mike masturbating to Child Porn. I saw Andy doing Voodoo Rituals. I saw Billy and Andy fucking each other in bed! Jimmy cheated on me with a Prostitute, so I fucked James to get back at Jimmy! I purposely left my panty in James's bed, and then bounced, knowing that Jimmy would find it and beat up James over it!
Mike said uncomfortably ,"I have never watched Child Porn, only watched Adult Porn. Axl said,"I know. Cake Cream backed up Mike and Axl.
Andy said," I have never done Voodoo! And Billy and I have never had sex!
Billy affirmed that he and Andy had never had sex with each other.
Axl said,"I believe you Billy and Andy."
Jimmy said,"I didn't cheat on Allison with a Prostitute."
Axl and Cake Cream backed up Jimmy.
Axl looked at James deeply and was like,"THIS lying ho is who you temporarily threw away a good Brothership with Jimmy for!
Jimmy looked at James deeply and James blushed.
James said,"Yeah, I made a huge mistake having sex with Allison and temporarily throwing away a good Brothership with Jimmy.
There was a break in the News and commercials aired. When the News came back on, Allison continued ranting in the interview. She said,"Axl called me a Bitch in the Back Off Bitch song at the bar. Axl's a dick, an Asshole, a Motherfucker, a creepy creep, a Loser! I'm suing Axl for calling me a Bitch!"
Allison went on a nasty rant against each and every Cake Cream Member. Allison came off as a raging, vindictive, selfish, bitter ho.
The News Anchors were like,"Wow!" They were speechless.
Axl was like,"Look at how innocent Allison looks. She is so pretty, you'd never guess how evil, vindictive, petty, bitchy, hateful, etc she really is just by looking at her. She truly has a face of an angel with a love of a witch!"
Cake Cream all backed up Axl. Cake Cream and Axl ate and chilled more in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and fell asleep.
"Ding dong:" the bell on their luxurious penthouse suite chimed early the next morning.
It was a process server.
Axl asked "What do you want?"
"Are you Axl Rose?"
"Yeah."
"Here," and he served him with a lawsuit for defamation filed by Allyson.
Two hours later the trial began; venue was changed to the James L. Knight center so that the fifty thousand onlookers could all be seated.
Axl represented himself; Allyson had a shyster sitting next to her.
Judge V opened the trial with Allyson giving background testimony, then her attorney played the recording of the allegedly defamatory song.
Axl didn't cross-examine as he hadn't learned how; but he did tell the judge that "Allyson is a REAL BITCH, judge V."
The jaundiced jurist stopped playing hangman on his note pad; he glared at Axl and said "Explain."
"This bitch is a liar, judge."
The paragon of perfidy steepled his fingers and said "Are you done?"
"Yes."
"Very well. My verdict is for the plaintiff, Allyson. Axl defamed her by calling her a bitch. Axl has not proven his claim that she is a bitch, i.e. that she is a female dog in heat. Judgment for plaintiff in the amount of eighty million dollars."
Axl shook his head, paid the judgment and told Judge V "Would I be in trouble if I called her a cunt?"
"No, she is a woman, i.e. she is a life support system for a cunt, so that would be legally permissible; truth IS a defense."
Axl thanked Judge V and was welcomed.
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day.
Axl got a call from Rocking Rick and asking him if he and Cake Cream would like to do an interview tonight about Allison's latest interviews.
Axl told Rocking Rick to hold on and he did.
Axl told Jimmy, James, Billy, Mike, and Andy that Rocking Rick wanted to do a in house Radio interview with all Cake Cream and Axl.
They were all like,"Rocking Rick is a good interviewer, we trust him, so yeah."
Axl smiled and agreed. He told Rocking Rick that everybody was up for it.
Rocking Rick was thrilled. Axl and Rocking Rick chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes..
Cake Cream and Axl all chilled in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon it was to get ready for Rocking Rick interview.
They got ready and put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left. Axl told them to not confess to anything that could get anyone of them into trouble. They agreed.
They went to Y-100 Radio Station and Rocking Rick warmly welcomed them.
They all warmly welcomed him.
Rocking Rick said,"I'm Rocking Rick here with Andy, Axl, Billy, James, Jimmy, and Mike from Cake Cream! How is everybody?
Cake Cream and Axl all admitted Allison's scathing prison interviews were taking a toll on them.
Rocking Rick said,"I wouldn't be thrilled myself in your shoes. Would you like to clear the air about Allison's scathing prison interviews?
Billy said,"Allison is lying. She is just out to hurt us.
Jimmy said,"We knew she was trouble when she temporarily caused a rift in James and my deep Brothership.
James said,"Having sex with Allison was a huge mistake that I deeply regret. I am truly sorry about breaking Jimmy's trust.
Jimmy replied,"I know, and I forgive you.
James said,"I appreciate it!"
Andy said,"I never tried to sell out Axl for $5,000, or $1,000 for me, Billy, Mike, Jimmy, and James..
Axl said,"Andy had just gotten paid $17,000 as a new Claven Records Client. WHY would he attempt to sell me out for an extra $1,000?"
Rocking Rick said, "Hmm. I wouldn't sell someone out for $1,000 if I were worth $17,000 myself."
Axl said,"Billy, Mike, James, Jimmy, and Andy had no idea where I was when I was on the run. I was sleeping on park benches, bathing in the ocean, using public bathrooms, and buying food and drinks wearing a disguise like I have said multiple times. "
Rocking Rick said,"I remember you saying that."
Andy said,"I have never done Voodoo Rituals in my life!
Rocking Rick said,"That voodoo ritual claim Allison made made me go,"What is wrong with Allison?" Myself.
Everybody laughed.
Mike said,"She falsely claimed that I watched Child Porn, a damaging lie that could have destroyed me if I were in a position of Authority, such as a Firefighter.
Rocking Rick said,"It's odd that you specifically said,"Firefighter, Mike. Did you want to be a Firefighter at any point?
Mike said,"When I was a child, I wanted to become a Firefighter. But as I got older, I realized I loved Singing and singing is my true passion and calling. He smiled.
Rocking Rick said,"You really are a good Singer. " He smiled too.
Rocking Rick asked Axl if Back Off Bitch at the bar was about Allison. He pointed out that Allison claimed she was suing him for calling her a Bitch.
Axl responded,"I never once said Allison's name in the Back Off Bitch bar performance. The fact that she automatically assumed that Back Off Bitch bar performance was about her when I never said her name says she has issues and is projecting. "
Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
Rocking Rick said,"Must be tough with Allison falsely accusing Jimmy and James of rape and trying to get a $100 Million combined.
Axl said,"I knew Allison was lying . James and Jimmy aren't rapists. I got her to confess in court that she lied about Jimmy and James raping her because she wanted revenge against them for both dumping her and she wanted $100 Million. James and Jimmy thanked Axl and he welcomed them.
Rocking Rick said,"You played that really well, Axl.
Axl responded,"Thank you."
Rocking Rick said,"You're welcome."
James and Jimmy said,"Axl really is a good Manager, Lawyer, Mentor,Brother, and Friend.
Andy and Mike backed up James and Jimmy. Billy said,"I'm not Axl's Brother, but I agree with everything else. Cake Cream and Axl all laughed and Axl thanked them and was welcomed.
Rocking Rick asked Andy and Billy,"What about Allison claiming she saw you two having sex?"
Billy said,"Allison's lying. Andy and I are Brothers and weren't having sex. Nor have we ever. I wouldn't cheat on Axl, especially not with my Brother!
Andy responded,"I am Straight and into Women, not men and like Billy said, we're Brothers. besides, we would never break Axl's trust and heart.
Axl said,"I know it."
Rocking Rick said,"Andy, what about Allison claiming she saw you masturbating to Gay Porn?"
Andy said,"That never happened. Once again, I'm interested in Women, not Men."
Everybody backed up Andy.
Rocking Rick asked,"What about Allison claiming you guys have a creepy and disturbing codependency on each other?"
Axl replied, "We do not have a creepy and disturbing codependency on each other. We have healthy friendships and Billy and I have a healthy relationship.
Mike responded,"A creepy and disturbing codependency on each other would mean we couldn't function without each other, which is not the case at all."
Jimmy said,"Allison's a bitter woman who is just trying to make us look bad when she falsely claimed that we have a creepy and disturbing codependency on each other."
James said,"Allison's way too obsessed with us. She's making herself look REALLY bad with all of her hateful lies."
Andy said, Allison's jealous of our good Family, so she's trying to make us look bad."
Billy said,"We six do not go EVERYWHERE together, so we don't have a creepy and disturbing codependency on each other."
Rocking Rick was like,"Okay, so you guys don't have a creepy and disturbing codependency on each other. Good to know." He smiled.
They all agreed.
Rocking Rick asked Jimmy, "Did you cheat on Allison with a Prostitute?"
Jimmy answered,"I didn't cheat on Allison with a Prostitute. I never cheated on her with anybody. She's the one who cheated on me, with James, which I forgave after I saw how sorry and remorseful he was. Everybody backed up Jimmy.
Rocking Rick said,"Allison seems like a conniving liar."
Everybody responded,"She is!"
Rocking Rick said that maybe Cake Cream and Axl could press charges against Allison for her false claims.
Cake Cream and Axl said they thought that wasn't a bad idea. Rocking Rick smiled.
They all chatted more and at 8 PM, Rocking Rick said,"This was a wonderful interview! Thanks for stopping by, Andy, Axl, Billy, James, Jimmy, and Mike! You guys were wonderful guests.
Cake Cream and Axl said,"You're welcome. You were a gracious host."
Rocking Rick thanked everybody and they all welcomed him.
Rocking Rick said,"This is Rocking Rick signing off, Rocking Rick, over and out!"
The interview ended. Cake Cream and Axl and Rocking Rick chatted a little while longer and then said their goodbyes and Cake Cream and Axl went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They soon fell asleep
They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. The Rocking Rick interview went viral and lots of Fans were on Cake Cream and Axl's side.
Axl and Cake Cream were happy. A Judge called Axl's cellphone and asked him if Cake Cream and Axl would like to press charges against Allson for her slanderous lies. Axl told the Judge to hold on and he did. Axl told Cake Cream that the Judge wanted to know if he and Cake Cream wanted to press charges against Allison for her slanderous lies. Cake Cream all said,"Yes." Axl said,"I want to press charges against Allison too."
Axl went back to the phone call and told the Judge,"Yes, Cake Cream and I all want to press charges against Allison for her slanderous lies."
The Judge was like,"I don't blame you."
The Judge said they could press charges against Allison tomorrow.
Axl thanked him and was welcomed. The Judge and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Axl and Cake Cream chilled all day in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They fell asleep.
They got up the next day and it was time to get ready for Allison's new Court Hearing. They got ready and ate and put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the Courthouse. They got processed and went to the Court. This was being televised.
Soon, Allison was brought in, wearing her jail uniform. Cake Cream and Axl glared at Allison and she glared back. Allison's Court appointed Lawyer said that Allison didn't deserve to get charges pressed against her because Axl made her look bad in Court.
Axl countered with,"Allison Peters lied in Court about Jimmy and James Raping her because she wanted $100 Million, and wanted revenge against Jimmy and James for dumping her. She made herself look bad, I wasn't the one who made her look bad.
Allison said," You called me a Bitch in Back Off Bitch bar performance!"
Axl said,"I did no such thing. Back Off Bitch is just a Guns N'Roses song."
Allison said,"You knew what you were doing, Axl singing that particular song!"
Axl said,"I never said your name, so what you're saying is pure speculation."
The Judge asked if Cake Cream and Axl wanted to press charges against Allison for the recent interviews she gave on the news.
Billy, James, Jimmy, Mike, Andy and Axl all said,"Yes."
Allison's Court appointed Lawyer said,"If what Allison is true, Billy, James, Mike, Andy, and Jimmy should all be in jail for hiding Axl when he was a Fugitive and for perjury.Mike should be in jail for looking at Child Porn. Billy should be in jail for snorting Cocaine.
Allison smirked smugly.
Axl asked Allison, "Miss Peters. Do you have concrete evidence or concrete proof that Mike was looking at Child Porn, that Billy snorted Cocaine, that Mike, James, Jimmy, Andy, and Billy hid me while I was a Fugitive on the run?"
Allison said,"I plead the fifth!"
Axl said,"I pause my case for now!" The Judge called an hour recess.
Axl surmised that what Allison REALLY wanted was money. Most likely Millions. She was money obsessed and most likely would be willing to sign a Contract to get Millions of dollars.
Axl said to Cake Cream,"I'll bet Allison would be willing to sign a Contract that states she will confess in Court that everything she said in those prison interviews were lies and she NEVER says anything damaging about us again if she gets say $50 Million each from us."
Billy, James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy were wary about them all paying Allison $300 Million to confess in Court that she was lying and that she was never allowed to say anything damaging about them ever again. They said they felt it was like a bribe.
Axl said,"It is bribish, but we want Allison off our backs for good. We've gotta lose the Battle and win the war on this one. Trust me. "
Billy, James, Jimmy, Mike, and Andy tentatively chose to trust Axl. Axl smiled.
Axl and Cake Cream Drew up a Contract that stated that if Allison confessed in Court today that she lied about everything she said in those prison interviews and never said anything damaging about Cake Cream or Axl again, Cake Cream and Axl would all Zelle her $50 Million each.
They all went up to Allison and Axl said,"Allison, we all know what this is all about. You want Millions of dollars from us. " Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Allison smirked sardonically. "No shit, Sherlock. Of course I want Millions of dollars from you guys. I need to be rich."
Axl smirked. He was right on the money, pun intended.
Cake Cream also all smirked.
Axl said,"We're going to all give you $50 Million each!" Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
Allison's eyes lit up!. "I'm going to be $300 Million richer!"
Axl said,"Yes, you are." Axl and Cake Cream presented her with the Contract.
Allison read it and said,"This Contract states I have to confess in Court I was lying about everything I said in the Prison interviews and can't say anything bad about you guys ever again. I'm not sure I want to sign this.
Axl said,"In order to get the $300 Million, you have to sign. $300 Million will be yours and you just have to do a couple of things.
Allison said,"I do want the $300 Million.
Axl said,"Like the song by Rick Springfield says,"It don't mean nothing until you sign it on the dotted line." Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
Allison read, understood, agreed, and signed. Axl signed as W. Axl Rose and Cake Cream all signed their full names. Cake Cream and Axl all smirked at Allison.
There was still time left in the recess, and everybody ate, used the bathroom, used their phones, etc.
After the recess, Allison said to Court, "I lied about everything I said about Cake Cream and Axl in the prison interviews. I was just mad. I promise to never speak bad about them again."
Cake Cream and Axl all smirked and Zelled Allison $50 Million each. Cake Cream and Axl all knew that Allison wouldn't have access to the $300 Million behind bars while she was incarcerated. She'd have to wait until the rest of her year jail sentence was up to have access to the money.
The Judge was like,"Would Cake Cream and Axl still like to press charges against Allison now that she's confessed to lying about you guys in the prison interviews?"
Cake Cream and Axl all smirked and said,"No we do not want to press charges against Allison. We just wanted her to confess in Court that she lied about everything she said about us in the prison interviews and she did. She also promised in Court to never say anything damaging about us."
The Judge said,"Fair enough." He banged his gavel and said,"Court is adjourned." Allison was led back to prison to finish out her one year sentence for lying about James and Jimmy raping her.
Cake Cream and Axl all went to the bar and had Coke and rum and just chilled, laying back and relaxing, happy that Allison confessed in Court the prison interviews were complete lies.
Fans asked them for Autographs and Selfies and they obliged. The Fans were happy and thanked them and they welcomed them. The Fans went back to their tables. After chilling in the bar, they went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled more and fell asleep.
Little did Axl and the boys know that Allyson had given half of the $80 million from the libel verdict to Judge V; "gotta keep the wheels of justice well-greased, my dear" droned the crooked arbiter.
Judge V had watched the latest legal brewhaha on closed circuit TV; inspired, he contacted Allyson and they quickly put a plan into action.
The following day Judge V convened a new hearing and he summoned all the prior players to appear before him.
"I watched the recent court case which another judge presided over and I decided that I was duty bound to schedule this hearing in order to set the settlement aside. My learned colleague overlooked something critical that requires I now take drastic action. There was no binding settlement due to a technicality, to wit: Axl is NOT an attorney, although he signed as such. He is a puss-filled zit on the stony face of the Legal Profession and must be removed from the general population much like Gregory Peck dispatched a rabid dog in "To Kill a Mockingbird." We cannot kill him but we can kill his spirit and hopefully wipe his mind clean of the delusion that he is an attorney. I hereby order the settlement is set aside as if it never occurred; I sentence Axl to 20 years in prison for impersonating an attorney, and I direct that Allyson be permitted to keep all of the $300M previously paid as compensation for emotional distress. I am also commuting her one year sentence, she is free to go."
Freed but sticking around, Allyson later entered the jovial jurist's lair without prying eyes espying her.
"Here ya go, judgey-wudgey" she said, handing Judge V $150M; he put it in his wallet, smiled, and remarked "Justice was well served."
She thanked him and was welcomed.
They got up the next day. They ate and got ready for the day. Axl chatted about how they'd just given away $600 Million within a couple of days! :eek: Cake Cream all acknowledged this too. Axl decided to make a list of things they bought and gave away. Cake Cream were all up for this. Axl smiled. Axl wrote
$5,000 for Axl's hospital stay(Axl's multiple gunshots)
$15,000 for James hospital stay(After James was hit in stomach by Jimmy's bass guitar)
$20,000 for Billy's hospital stay(After Billy was shot in stomach)
$100,000 for Jimmy's Bail(Axl only)
$10 Million for Billy's Bail(Axl only)
$18 Million to Woodstock
$80,000 to reimburse the GoFundMe (Axl only)
$300 Million to Claven Records(To fix Claven Records corrupted files, for them to upgrade to new system, and to give Claven extra "fun," money)
$300 Million to Allison Peters(To make her confess in Court she lied about everything in the prison interviews and to make her promise to never say anything damaging about Cake Cream and Axl)
$100,000 for Axl's Bail(Axl only)
$100,000 to Cake Cream (Axl only, to thank them for being good friends to him)
$250 Million to Brian Washington (Axl only, to get Brian to permanently leave Cake Cream alone)
$100 Million to Izzy(Axl only, to get Izzy to come back to Guns N'Roses)
$100 Million to Steven (Axl only, to get Steven to come back to Guns N'Roses)
$200,000 to Brian Washington (Axl only, to get Brian Washington to permanently leave Cake Cream alone)
$150,000 Frequent First Class plane flights
$100,000 for Food and drink(Such as constantly ordering food and drinks by delivery, grocery shopping, eating at Restaurants, buying popcorn and soda at movies, etc)
$150,000 Hotel stays(Luxurious Penthouse Suites and rooms)
$500 Million to Cake Cream (Axl only, to buy Cake Cream Rights, Royalties, and name)
$500 Million to Axl(Cake Cream for Axl being a good Manager and friend)
$25,000 in clothes
$25,000 in personal hygiene and toiletries(Such as toothpaste, shampoo, toilet paper, paper towels, soap, razors, etc
$$10,000 in bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets
$1 Million to Axl(Cake Cream for Axl being their Lawyer)
$100,000 to Melissa The Waitress (Axl only to make up for Mr. Wealthy scamming Melissa)
$233 to Melissa The Waitress (Axl only, to pay for his own meal and Mr. Wealthy's meal)
$50,000 in Utilities such as water, light, gas, air conditioning, phone, cable, internet)
$6,000 in phone devices(Iphones for all 6)
$6,000 for Meal for everybody (Axl only)
$250 in Coke the drink(Axl only)
$60,000 in Entertainment(Such as movies, trips to Hawaii, trip to Canada, trip to Disney World, shopping at malls,
$10,000 in regular healthcare
$10,000 in hair care
$$10,000 in insurance
$5,000 for Axl's therapy
$5,000 for Andy's therapy
$25,000 in Court Cases
$30,000 for Cocaine and Subutex (Billy only)
$30,000 in musical instruments
$20,000 in miscellaneous things like dish washing soap, toiletries, played, silverware, cups, etc.
$25,000 for Andy's vacation (Andy only)
$ 600 Million to Billy, James, Jimmy, Mike, and Axl (Andy only, as an act of contrition for stealing 1.6 Billion)
$30,000 in LYFT rides
$700 Million to The Lottery for taxes(Andy only)
$700 Million to The Lottery for taxes (Andy only)
$100 Million to Andy(Billy, James, Mike, Jimmy, Axl for passing the loyalty test)
$120 Million to Claven Records(To buy back the Cake Cream Rights, Royalties, and name)
Axl made a list of their income
$100,000 for Cake Cream Demo
$10 Million for Axl from Older Axl
$50 Million for live shows
$10 Million plus Royalties or Time For A New Era!(Axl only)
$5 Million gift from Older Axl to Young Axl
$20 Million plus Royalties for All The Sweet Filling
$30 Million plus Royalties for Tasty Cake/Tasty Cake Reloaded
$250 Million plus Royalties for Bronze Cake
$100 Million plus Royalties for Bitter Sweets(Axl only)
$200 Million plus Royalties for Cream Rose
2.5 Billion from Brandon Records
$500 Million for Lottery win(Andy only)
$375 Million for Lottery win (Andy only)
$1 Million for Billy's burned down house
$500 Million for Royalties for all albums
According to Axl's calculations, Cake Cream and he had earned a combined net worth of roughly 4.5 Billion. And had spent about 2.5 billion, so they still had a combined net worth of about 2 Billion. Cake Cream and Axl all smiled.
Axl and the boys talked and vaped after a particularly memorable session in the laundry room.
"Wow, we sure earned and spent a lot of money" said Jimmy, not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Axl looked at him, thinking "Man, when he was born the nurse shouldn't have stopped slapping him," but said "Yes indeed, Jimmy."
Mike jumped in with "But I don't recall seeing or signing any tax returns since Cake Cream started."
Axl froze: you could hear a pin drop.
"Taxes?"
"Yes Axl, taxes. You're in charge of this sort of thing, so tell us how all state and federal taxes have been taken care of."
Axl stared at the tips of his shoes: "I forgot."
James blanched; "Well then you better deal with it ASAP Axl, I don't want to go to jail."
Axl called one of those "help with the IRS if you owe a lot of money" places and hired them; two days later he met again in the laundry room for the daily post-coital chat with the boys.
"I met with the tax fellow, he said that with interest and penalties we owe about five billion, but he haggled with the IRS and got the total bill down to two billion which I just paid. Problem solved."
Jimmy took the gum out of his mouth and stuck it on his nose for safe keeping, then asked "But doesn't that leave us flat broke?"
Axl pondered, then said "Yes, but who needs money?"
They all agreed that nobody really needs money; a mighty cheer arose, and Axl said "OK boys, to DQ, strawberry blizzards are on me."
They uni-cycled to DQ and ordered a bunch of blizzards only to find that their debit and credit cards were maxed out.
"Axl, it's all your fault" they wailed, "you're our manager, and all you've done is manage to screw us royally."
Axl agreed and thanked them all for noticing and was welcomed.
Mr. V, Axl already made Cake Cream file their taxes in April, so they are good until 2023. :) Remember this story takes place in 2022. :) And, Cake Cream and Axl will NEVER be completely broke. Axl made them get Royalties on all their music, so they're set for life with the Royalties. :D
Mr. V, why did you imply that Jimmy was stupid when he remarked in your retelling,"Wow, we sure earned and spent a lot of money?" That seems like a normal thing to say to me. :confused:
Axl flamed Jimmy for noticing and commenting on that which was obvious.
Like standing outside in a tornado and Jimmy says "Sure is windy."
Axl never REALLY filed tax returns, Tasha: he just told you he did.
I'll have Judge V look into the matter...
They chilled until the next day. The next day they got up and ate and got ready for the day. Fans on Social Media were clamoring for another Cake Cream Show. Axl and Cake Cream decided to book a show for the Afternoon. Fans were happy.
Cake Cream and Axl all put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and Axl booked a show for the afternoon. They practiced and then did a little sightseeing and hung out. Soon it was time for the show. 50,000 Cake Cream Fans showed up and Cake Cream and Axl were all happy.
The show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and was good. Fans cheered wildly. But then, out of nowhere, Fans started clamoring for The Hurt Song to be played. Andy blushed guiltily at Axl. Axl lowered his eyes.
Axl said,"Uh, The Hurt Song is not a song that we like to perform . Cake Cream was NOT in a good place when I wrote The Hurt Song."
Fans kept clamoring for The Hurt Song to be performed.
Axl blurted out,"Andy doesn't like The Hurt Song!" Axl soon gasped at what he just said.
Andy quickly covered for Axl's blunder and said,"I don't like The Hurt Song because it's about a deep betrayal within Cake Cream that should never have happened. Cake Cream and Axl all backed up Andy.
Fans STILL clamored for The Hurt Song. Axl said,"How many times do we have to tell you guys we don't like The Hurt Song?" Fans STILL clamored for The Hurt Song to be performed. Axl and Cake Cream all reluctantly caved.
Axl sang lead on The Hurt Song while Mike provided backup. Axl sounded really pained, hurt, melancholy in the song. Andy played Keyboard, Billy played drums, Jimmy played Bass/Rhythm Guitar, and James played Lead Guitar. It sounded good. The crowd cheered wildly.
Axl said,"We did The Hurt Song because you guys begged us incessantly to perform it. Please stop asking us to play The Hurt Song. The Hurt Song brings back a lot of hurt for us every single time we play it." Cake Cream all nodded.
Fans were like,"It's a good at song!" Please keep singing The Hurt Song!"
Axl said,"I've already told you we don't like The Hurt Song and don't like performing it! Please stop begging us to perform The Hurt Song! Cake Cream were like," Yep, none of us like The Hurt Song."
The Fans STILL wanted them to perform The Hurt Song. Axl fed up took a tape that had The Hurt Song written on it and took a hammer and smashed The Hurt Song tape as a clear message to the Fans to stop begging them to perform The Hurt Song. Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
Fans gasped, but were like,"Okay, we get the point. You guys don't want to perform The Hurt Song.
Cake Cream and Axl all nodded.
The Show continued, and was really good. There was more wild cheering and then the Final sendoff happened to more wild cheering. Soon the Show was over and Cake Cream and Axl went to Denny's for a late lunch/early dinner.
They chatted about Axl breaking The Hurt Song tape as a way to show to the audience Cake Cream and Axl did NOT like The Hurt Song. They laughed about it. Andy then got serious and said,"I really am sorry about attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000.
Axl was annoyed by Andy's constant apologizing for attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000. He kind of wished Andy would stop apologizing over it. Axl said annoyed,"We all know, Andy, we know." The rest of Cake Cream backed up Axl.
Axl Zelled Andy $5,000. Andy was surprised. Axl said,"I'm giving you this $5,000 as a gift. Please stop apologizing about the attempted $5,000 sellout of me. It's annoying."
Andy thanked Axl and he welcomed him. Cake Cream and Axl all had a nice meal and paid and left and went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and then went to sleep.
Debbie, the hostess, saw that Cake Cream were about to enter Denny's: she'd seat them at their regular spot, but first she activated the hidden microphone she'd placed in the floral arrangement on their table; the paparazzi were paying her well for her services.
After Cake Cream ate and pogoed off into the sunset, Debbie told paparazzi that she had recorded the boys; she was thanked, welcomed, and then she emailed the recorded converstation to paparazzi.
Within an hour the internet was blowing up over Axl saying "I'm giving you this $5,000 as a gift. Please stop apologizing about the attempted $5,000 sellout of me. It's annoying."
The jig was up, their Big Lie was exposed.
Deeply distraught over being lied to, over one hundred Cake Cream fans committed suicide in the lobby of their luxurious suite at Marriott.
"Not good," mused Axl: "Not good at all."
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. Yesterday's Cake Cream Show went viral and Fans gasped at Axl breaking The Hurt Song with a hammer!
Axl responded, "Cake Cream and I do not like The Hurt Song. It's about a brotherly betrayal that happened between us. Hopefully Fans will stop asking us to perform The Hurt Song. Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
Fans said,"Breaking The Hurt Song tape with a hammer was a bit excessive, however. Why not just say something like,"If you guys keep asking us to keep performing The Hurt Song, even after we already performed it and clearly said we don't like performing The Hurt Song, we're all leaving early?"
Axl said,"I was just desperate when I smashed The Hurt Song tape with a hammer." Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
The Fans and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.
On MTV, there was a Show wondering if Cake Cream and Axl should be sued by Daft Punk for their motorcycle helmets as Daft Punk also wore helmets.
Axl asked Cake Cream who were Daft Punk and Cake Cream filled him in and showed him Daft Punk pictures. Axl was like,"Daft Punk has futuristic, robotic looking helmets. We wear motorcycle helmets. Different type of helmets. Cake Cream all backed up Axl.
On Social Media, Axl and Cake Cream said that Daft Punk wore robotic, futuristic looking helmets and Cake Cream and Axl wore motorcycle helmets.
Fans were like,"Okay, you guys do make sense. " Cake Cream and the Fans chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes.
A Judge called Axl's cellphone and asked him if he and Cake Cream wanted to press charges against Billy's Prosecutor tomorrow for defamation of character, libel, and perjury in Billy's Arson case, especially since Billy wasn't the one who burned down the house, it was Mark Riley who had accidentally done that.
Axl told the Judge to hold on and he did. He told Cake Cream what the Judge said and Cake Cream all agreed. Axl agreed too. Axl went back to the phone call and told the Judge that all of them wanted to press charges.
The Judge was like,"I don't blame you guys. That Prosecutor was awful. Lying about Billy and insinuating that Cake Cream and Axl set the house on fire on purpose to get life insurance on Billy if he died. The Judge and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Cake Cream and Axl all chilled until the next day. The next day, it was time to get ready for the Court case against David Livingston, Billy's Prosecutor.
They got up and ate and got ready for the day. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left and went to the Court. They were processed. Soon, Court started and David was there. The Judge asked Cake Cream and Axl of they wanted to press charges against David for Perjury, Libel, and Defamation of Character for Billy's Arson Case. David had his own Lawyer. His Lawyer advised David to plead the fifth on whatever questions Axl asked him.
All of Cake Cream and Axl said yes. Axl said he wanted to cross examine Mr. Livingston. Axl was allowed to cross examine David. David's Lawyer was like,"Objection! Mr. Rose shouldn't be the one cross examining my Client, Mr. Livingston as Mr. Rose is part of the party pressing charges. It's an unethical conflict of interest."
The Judge said,"Objection overruled as Mr. Rose is Cake Cream's Lawyer and had the right to cross examine Mr. Livingston. I will allow Mr. Rose to cross examine Mr. Livingston."
Axl said,"Thank you, your Honor." The Judge welcomed him..
Axl asked,"Mr. Livingston, would you like to tell the Court why you falsely claimed in Court that my Client, Mr. William Anderson Parks accepted a bribe from you to confess in Court that he accidentally set his house on fire?
The Prosecutor said,"I was desperate that I was losing my case so I falsely claimed that Mr. Parks accepted a bribe from me to confess in Court. "
Axl said,"So, you acknowledge that you falsely claimed in Court that William Anderson Parks accepted a bribe from you in order for a confession?"
Mr. Livingston said,"Yes, I acknowledge this."
Axl asked,"Why did you falsely insinuate that myself, James Dobson, James King , Andrew McCall, and Michael Smith possibly set the house on fire in order to Murder William Anderson Parks for life insurance money?"
Mr. Livingston responded,"I was hoping Mr. Parks would freak out on the spot and confess to Arson so I could win my case. Mr. Parks would be behind bars and I'd get praise for winning the case!"
Axl said,"So you acknowledge that you falsely insinuated that we set the house on fire, is that right?
Mr. Livingston said,Yes, I acknowledged that I falsely insinuated that."
Axl said, "But, Mark Riley is the one who burned down the house, not Mr. Parks. So, an innocent man would have been behind bars for a crime he didn't commit."
Mr. Livingston responded," Mr. Parks would have been acquitted when and if Mark Riley finally confessed to the accidental Arson of Billy's house."
Axl asked,"Do you feel any guilt or remorse over nearly sending an innocent man to jail?"
The Prosecutor said snidely, "I don't care about Mr. Parks or any of you guys. I'm just on it to win it!"
The crowd gasped in shock.
Mr. Livingston's Lawyer shook his head. Mr. Livingston just had to say,"I plead the fifth!" To all of Axl's questions, but he chose to answer all of Axl's questions.
Mr. Livingston's Lawyer STILL tried to salvage his Client, saying,"Objection. My Client is being badgered by Mr. Rose!"
The Judge said,"Objection overruled. Mr. Rose hasn't been badgering your Client at all. Mr. Rose is just asking the necessary questions. The Judge added," Mr. Rose, you may continue your cross examination of Mr. Livingston."
Axl said,"Thank you, your honor." I'd like to call Mr. Parks to the Witness Stand. The judge allowed Billy to go on the Witness Stand. Mr. Livingston's Lawyer said,"Objection! Mr. Rose and Mr. Parks are dating! This is an unethical conflict of interest!"
The Judge said,"I will allow Mr. Rose to call Mr. Parks to the Witness Stand regardless of their personal relationship." Billy and Axl thanked the Judge and was welcomed.
Billy went on the Witness Stand. Axl asked,"Mr. Parks, how does it feel when you were accused of setting the house on fire, falsely accused of accepting a bribe from Mr. Livingston in order to confess, and the false insinuating that we set the house on fire in order to Murder you to get life insurance on you especially since that Mark Riley confessed to doing so."
Billy said,"I feel awful that I was falsely accused of setting my house on fire , awful I was falsely accused of accepting a bribe from Mr. Livingston in order to confess and awful about the false insinuating that you guys would set the house on fire to Murder me for Life Insurance money. You guys would NEVER set the house on fire in order to Murder me for Life Insurance money." Cake Cream and Axl backed up Billy. Billy added,"I did not like Mr. Livingston saying those lies."
Axl said,"Thank you for your testimony. No further questions."
Billy welcomed him and stepped down.
Axl continued cross examining Mr. Livingston. Axl said,"Mr. Livingston, do you acknowledge that as a Prosecutor, you are held to a higher standard and should uphold those standards?"
Mr. Livingston said,"Yes, I am held to a higher standard and SHOULD uphold those standards, but am willing to break the rules to win a case! I don't like losing!"
The crowd gasped again. Mr. Livingston's Lawyer once again shook his head. His Client was just admitting to EVERYTHING when all he had to say was ,"I plead the fifth!"
Axl smirked in his motorcycle helmet. Mr. Livingston was going down VERY quickly. Cake Cream all smirked in their motorcycle helmets too. Axl asked Mr. Livingston, "Do you confess to Perjury, defamation of character, and libel to me and my Clients?"
Mr. Livingston said,"I want a good deal before I confess to anything. "Axl drew up a Contract that stated that Mr. Livingston agreed to go to Prison for one year instead of the Maximum Sentence of Five Years of he confessed to Perjury , defamation of character, and Libel of Cake Cream and Axl. And to publicly apologize in Court to Axl and Cake Cream and to NEVER say anything damaging about them ever again. Mr. Livingston read, agreed, understood and signed. Cake Cream and Axl all signed too. Mr. Livingston's Lawyer agreed to this too and signed. The Judge agreed to the Contract too.
In Court, Mr Livingston said,"I confess in Court to Perjury, Defamation of Character, and libel to Cake Cream and Axl. I am sorry for all of this. I promise to NEVER say anything damaging about them ever again."
The Judge said,"Alright, Mr. Livingston will be sentenced to one year in Prison for Perjury, Libel, and defamation of character. Court is adjourned." He banged his gavel. Mr. Livingston paid his Lawyer and then was led to Prison. Axl and Cake Cream were happy. They left the Courthouse after about 30 minutes. They went to Red Lobster and had a nice meal and paid and left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and fell asleep.
Axl said he wanted to cross examine Mr. Livingston. Axl was allowed to cross examine David. David's Lawyer was like,"Objection! Mr. Rose shouldn't be the one cross examining my Client, Mr. Livingston as Mr. Rose is part of the party pressing charges. It's an unethical conflict of interest."
The Judge said,"Objection overruled as Mr. Rose is Cake Cream's Lawyer and had the right to cross examine Mr. Livingston. I will allow Mr. Rose to cross examine Mr. Livingston."
Axl said,"Thank you, your Honor." The Judge welcomed him.
David's lawyer interposed: "Objection in support of foundation. Your honor, please ask Axl to tell the court what his Florida State Bar number is."
"Yes, tell us, Axl: what is your bar number?"
"I don't have a bar number, your honor."
"Axl, you have represented to this court that you are an attorney."
"I am, judge: I'm their attorney in fact. See, they signed a power of attorney."
"That is meaningless baloney, Axl. Where did you attend law school, and did you matriculate?"
"I attended the school of hard knocks, judge, and it's none of your business whether I masturbate."
"Hmmm, this is highly irregular; let me consult with my colleague."
With that the jurist summoned Judge V. from his chambers for a colloquy. They chatted, groaned, farted, scratched their balls and then pronounced the following:
"Axl, we have determined that you have misrepresented yourself as an attorney. As a repeat, chronic offender we fear there is no point in trying to change your ways, so we just passed a law allowing us to chop your head off. Anything to say before the court decapitates you?"
Axl was flummoxed; this was NOT how his day was supposed to go.
Mr. V, my Fictional Axl Rose Court Cases are based off Axl's real life green suit Court Case. In the green suit Court Case, Axl came off as intimidating. ;) :eek: In one particular part of the green suit Court Case, Axl gives an INTIMIDATING GLARE, and, I thought,"That is one SCARY look Axl is doing! :eek::D my Fictional Axl is intimidating too. :) The green suit Court Case was him as just a DEFENDANT and he was THAT intimidating, imagine him as a LAWYER cross examining People! :eek: ;)
In my Fictional Axl Court Cases, the other Lawyers are like,"Objection! Mr. Rose is intimidating my Client!" Objection! Mr. Rose is badgering my Client!" My Fictional Axl is just saying stuff like,"Committing Perjury in a court of law is punishable as a Felony!"
And the other Lawyers are like,"Mr. Rose is badgering and intimidating my Client!" :D The Judges are like,"Objection overruled. Mr. Rose isn't intimidating or badgering, he's calmly stating facts." :D
My Fictional Axl tends to get people he is cross examining to spill the real truth, he's that intimidating. :D But he's not overtly intimidating. He's subtly intimidating. :D The people being cross examined by him are so intimidated by him, they just answer his questions fully without saying,"I plead the fifth!" :D
There is nothing at all intimidating about him, Tasha, other than his fame.
The fact that you continue to pretend he is an attorney baffles me: why not stick to reality?
That guy would struggle trying on a shirt, let alone trying a court case.
But hey, keep the fanciful bullshit coming...