Ode to the poser pro

It was just after sup they were wooping it up
At the Ya'll Come Back Casino
For all to see the lady next to me
Was playing a game called Volkeno
I was doing the same but on a poker game
Trying to make a royal flush
But in the game it pays the same
So I'll take a Joker Royal Flush
On the row just over a gambling rover
Lost and got up to leave
And then I seen his gambling machine
Return to the game select screen
The games look the same but something looked strange
At least from my faraway view
So I walked on over to the row just over
To give myself a clue
On the top of the screen of the gambling machine
Sat a brand new Joker game
A meter was runnin' to add to the funnin'
But to me its all the same
A new game to play if I can find an overlay
On this game called Joker's Vault
But it can't be sized or fully analyzed
On all that software I bought
NO hill for me because ya see
I ain't no poser pro
I'll leave the floor and hit the door
With all the casino's dough
There ain't no doubt I'll figure it out
Don't even need paper or pen
When it comes to a play I'll find a way
I'm the best thats ever been
So I went to work on the gamblin' math dirt
No like a poser pro fumbler
It was time for me to crunch and see
What was my playable number
There's different configurations across the nation
I don't know what yours will be
But here I can say I have a play
When the meter builds to three
It's a one joker game, a two joker game
But that don't make me a clown
Win 8 out of 10 when I'm in
And I'll take the meter down
I've rode freight trains through the Idaho rain
Not knowing where I'm bound
I'm a hard ass tramp from the labor camps
Nothing gets me down
That was then this is now
Cause I'm flush and good to go
Yeah, I'm doing swell but I came from hell
And I ain't no poser pro

And one more thing, boys. I don't give a rats ass about LAPD. In Montana Law words alone do not constitute assault.

The words were a "criminal threat" not an "assault."

Well written poetry, and my favorite lines for their construction were these:

On the top of the screen of the gambling machine
Sat a brand new Joker game
A meter was runnin' to add to the funnin'
But to me its all the same
A new game to play if I can find an overlay

Had you been in my "creative writing / poetry" course at Syracuse University back in 1972 you'd probably get an "A" for this. I am glad you published it here.

And whoever you might be (cough, cough) please behave yourself.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alan Mendelson

The words were a "criminal threat" not an "assault."

Well written poetry, and my favorite lines for their construction were these:

On the top of the screen of the gambling machine
Sat a brand new Joker game
A meter was runnin' to add to the funnin'
But to me its all the same
A new game to play if I can find an overlay

Had you been in my "creative writing / poetry" course at Syracuse University back in 1972 you'd probably get an "A" for this. I am glad you published it here.

And whoever you might be (cough, cough) please behave yourself.

---

That was pretty good...for a homicidal maniac. Having said that, I still prefer my ditty about Rob's schlong. I need to track that one down in the archives. Found it -- check out "Rappin' with Rob."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alan Mendelson

And whoever you might be (cough, cough) please behave yourself.

---

I think he's done.

"There was a forum
With sanity as its quorum.
Oh, there were a few
Who were slightly askew,
But nothing so radical,
That one couldn't handle.
When suddenly from hell,
Or was it jail?
People with insanity,
Pushing their vanity,
Broke every rule
To show them a fool.
And to think I was once the sport
Of such a jester's court!

Hi. Folks. I'm Little Slobbie Dinger.

I have a Marty system for video poker you might be interested in. After that I have some property a little east of Miami you might be interested in. I also have the Brooklyn Bridge up for sale. Send a check for $5009 to:

Slob Dinger
Box 1
Corn Junction, Iowa

Would you take glass beads for the island of Manhattan?

I just have to say something about the property east of Miami for sale.

When I was the business reporter at WTVJ in Miami I did financial fraud investigations as part of my job because the rich, elderly in Miami were always targeted.

One of the frauds I exposed landed the bad guys in federal prison.

Another fraud we didn't catch the bad guys, but they were advertising land for sale with an address that was actually smack in the middle of Biscayne Bay. A consumer gave me the letter promoting the land and I got in the car with my cameraman to go find it. We couldnt find it on a map -- and there was no GPS back in 1982. But we went to what the cross streets were supposed to be -- but couldnt get there because one of the streets led to the beach. And the other cross street also led to the beach.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alan Mendelson

One of the frauds I exposed landed the bad guys in federal prison.

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Did you receive "danger pay"? Scary stuff.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alan Mendelson

I just have to say something about the property east of Miami for sale.

When I was the business reporter at WTVJ in Miami I did financial fraud investigations as part of my job because the rich, elderly in Miami were always targeted.

One of the frauds I exposed landed the bad guys in federal prison.

Another fraud we didn't catch the bad guys, but they were advertising land for sale with an address that was actually smack in the middle of Biscayne Bay. A consumer gave me the letter promoting the land and I got in the car with my cameraman to go find it. We couldnt find it on a map -- and there was no GPS back in 1982. But we went to what the cross streets were supposed to be -- but couldnt get there because one of the streets led to the beach. And the other cross street also led to the beach.

---

Wow! You were the reporter on that gig? The "property east of Miami" joke came from that scam.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by redietz

That was pretty good...for a homicidal maniac. Having said that, I still prefer my ditty about Rob's schlong. I need to track that one down in the archives. Found it -- check out "Rappin' with Rob."

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Redietz, for your eyes only. I've never owned a firearm in my entire life. I just like scaring Slob, er, Rob. He has been trolling AP's for at least 15 years. I'm the only one who has the guts to put it back on him twice as hard as he did me.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by slobdinger

Wow! You were the reporter on that gig? The "property east of Miami" joke came from that scam.

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There were MANY scams like that. I don't think it was just the one I exposed.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by OneHitWonder

Did you receive "danger pay"? Scary stuff.

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I have to tell you how I confronted the head of the fraudulent mortgage company. I went to his house and no one would answer the door. But I heard dogs barking and I reasoned that he had to walk the dogs. So the next morning my cameraman and I camped out about 200 feet from his house at 4 am. At 5 he came out to walk his two dogs and I was all over him saying "where's the money? Where's the money?"

He's suicide material guys.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rob.Singer

He's suicide material guys.

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Bullying can happen at any age and you're a bully.

Bully for me!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rob.Singer

Bully for me!

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cr yfog fsuloeku... http://anagram-solver.net/

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bill Yung

cr yfog fsuloeku... http://anagram-solver.net/

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Hah, even the robot can detect Rob's gibberish!

One more thing about the scams in Miami. Back in the 1980s Miami was known as the Capitol of the Con Man's Triangle (a twist of the Bermuda Triange). The Con Man's Triangle was Miami to the Bahamas to Palm Beach and this included Ft. Lauderdale.

Besides the frauds involving selling land that was in the water, the other big frauds involved selling investors on investing in mortgages that would return 18% or more (going rate on loans was 8-12% at the time) gold (International Gold Bullion Exchange in Ft. Lauderdale had a vault filled with wood painted in gold-colored paint), and CDs from off shore banks that were nothing more than mail-drops.

Contributing to the frauds was that there was so much money in South Florida at the time as legitimate business people were scoring big profits from drug money that was buying real estate and cars and jewelry, plus South Florida was the big retirement locale for wealthy people from the northeast.

Just to give you an idea about how "easy" it was to get money:

An organization of Eastern Airlines employees approached me for help to raise money to fund a relief flight to Ethiopia. Eastern was donating the L1011 and it would carry food, medicine, equipment plus doctors and nurses to go to Ethiopia for the famine. But they had to raise $60,000 for the fuel. This was 1985. I put their story on the 6pm news on Channel 4. By 6:30pm I had taken one phone call from a wealthy retiree in Miami Beach who offered the sixty-grand, and our Ft Lauderdale bureau got a call from another couple offering their $60,000.

At 11pm I was on TV with another story with the two checks totaling $120,000 and the organization was able to send two flights instead of one. I got to go on the second flight with my two cameramen which is how I got to be one of the first TV reporters inside Ethiopia to cover the famine and to expose how the Communist government was seizing the relief supplies that got into the country.