The Adventures of DawgPoop—or how I made millions at Sic Bo

I am coming clean. Tired of all the fiction here. I am going to show how I went from bust out bum to multi millionaire crushing Sic Bo. For security purposes, I have held this story back so the timelines may be months or even years ago.

After my divorce, dis-barment, and a brief fully comped stay in a state facility, I moved to Vegas to start over. Fronted two months at the Downtowner so now I needed a bankroll. No fancy watches but I was able to get 1.95 for my broken Timex at the local pawnshop. Needed another nickel for my exacta bet when an idea hit me. There was a blind guitar player on the overpass. I pretended to put $$ in his cup but actually stole a nickel.

Off to the local race and sports. Hit the exacta for 28.60. And so it starts.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by regnis

I am coming clean. Tired of all the fiction here. I am going to show how I went from bust out bum to multi millionaire crushing Sic Bo. For security purposes, I have held this story back so the timelines may be months or even years ago.

After my divorce, dis-barment, and a brief fully comped stay in a state facility, I moved to Vegas to start over. Fronted two months at the Downtowner so now I needed a bankroll. No fancy watches but I was able to get 1.95 for my broken Timex at the local pawnshop. Needed another nickel for my exacta bet when an idea hit me. There was a blind guitar player on the overpass. I pretended to put $$ in his cup but actually stole a nickel.

Off to the local race and sports. Hit the exacta for 28.60. And so it starts.

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You have my attention!

And I'll verify all of the details to boot! For example, sad to say, I stayed at the Downtowner in 1981. I remember it well. They included some coupons for free breakfasts at the El Cortez next door. I always hit them up in the lobby for an extra coupon so I could enjoy fine dining twice a day.

See, I know the details, so you can trust regnis' accounts. And I'm not even a sock puppet.

Hey, I used to attend Lions Club meetings with that blind guy.

He told me about the theft and said he cursed whoever did it.

Said from that point onward they'd be compelled to post on third rate gambling forums, arguing incessantly about nothing, and feeling badly used at the end of the day.

Said you'd be a laughingstock drowning in your own blizzard of bullshit.

Gift of prophecy?

Looking forward to the story continuing regnis.

My downtowner experience consisted of a single night. It was my first trip to Vegas, probably 2005, 2006. Had never been to Vegas before so no comps, but I did have 2 for 1 night coupons from ACG at several places, El Cortez, Imperial Palace and Clariton (Debbie Reynolds old hotel). Of course the stipulation with these is always that you can't use on Saturday night. So Saturday night I stayed at the Downtowner. I forget the set up but I was way in the back almost up against a Latino bar or restaurant that had an outdoor patio and music blaring until 5 in the morning, making for a very long night. ;)

Yes, please continue: stuff like this is good for the soul.

So feeling flush with my pockets full to the tune of $28.60, I could splurge for lunch on a $1.00 hot dog out of the cart at Barbary Coast. Ooops, that may be too much info as it defines my timeline. I don't drink beer but I had a coupon for a free drink and sold it for 1.40 putting me, after lunch, at $29.00. Time to go crush the Sic Bo.

As I was walking towards the casino, the guilt overcame me and I decided to go put the nickel back in the blind guy's cup. When i bent down to drop the nickel in, he grabbed me, whipped off his glasses, and beat the crap out of me. He wasn't blind (of course) and recognized me from before. When he was done beating me down, he took my whole bankroll leaving me even worse than I started. Well, Sic Bo will have to wait another day. It will be breakfast at the blood bank tomorrow to start a new bankroll.

By the way, special thanks to Mr. V for making sure that my ex-wife got everything in the divorce.

Well the PM's are pouring in asking about my system and also how i even got to Vegas. Well, after the divorce, disbarment and free room and board, I was pretty low. My friends all went with the ex, I was broke, and I knew the only way out was to get to Vegas and employ the system that I had learned. But I needed some counselling. So I called up my good friend Father O'Malley, who you all know as Blackhole, to get his guidance. Unlike his on-line persona, he is kind and generous and thoughtful at all times. He listened to my plan to be an AP and agreed 100%. He felt that all the stories that he had read of other AP's were factual and should serve as a path for me to follow.
I felt much better after our talk--almost like I had been to Confession. And maybe I had because at the end he gave me 3 "go fuck yourselves" and a "suck a dick".

Now I needed $$$ to get to Vegas. I hit up Redietz for some picks. he wanted $5.00 which I refused to pay. He later told me I would have gone 42-3 on those picks.

Monet gave me 10 hockey picks. He went 9-1. But I made a 10 team parlay and blew the last one on a late empty netter.

Finally I called up Rob Singer knowing that since I had been in his corner all these years he would help me. He said if I could get to South Dakota he had work for me. I hopped a Greyhound to South Dakota and Rob did in fact have work for me. For the next 6 months I was his driver and drove him and the Mrs. all over the country in the Newell. What a great ride that thing is. I encourage all of you to try it. Finally, on the way to Tahoe, I got off in Vegas and Rob took it from there.

Finally, time for Sic Bo.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by regnis

Well the PM's are pouring in asking about my system and also how i even got to Vegas. Well, after the divorce, disbarment and free room and board, I was pretty low. My friends all went with the ex, I was broke, and I knew the only way out was to get to Vegas and employ the system that I had learned. But I needed some counselling. So I called up my good friend Father O'Malley, who you all know as Blackhole, to get his guidance. Unlike his on-line persona, he is kind and generous and thoughtful at all times. He listened to my plan to be an AP and agreed 100%. He felt that all the stories that he had read of other AP's were factual and should serve as a path for me to follow.
I felt much better after our talk--almost like I had been to Confession. And maybe I had because at the end he gave me 3 "go fuck yourselves" and a "suck a dick".

Now I needed $$$ to get to Vegas. I hit up Redietz for some picks. he wanted $5.00 which I refused to pay. He later told me I would have gone 42-3 on those picks.

Monet gave me 10 hockey picks. He went 9-1. But I made a 10 team parlay and blew the last one on a late empty netter.

Finally I called up Rob Singer knowing that since I had been in his corner all these years he would help me. He said if I could get to South Dakota he had work for me. I hopped a Greyhound to South Dakota and Rob did in fact have work for me. For the next 6 months I was his driver and drove him and the Mrs. all over the country in the Newell. What a great ride that thing is. I encourage all of you to try it. Finally, on the way to Tahoe, I got off in Vegas and Rob took it from there.

Finally, time for Sic Bo.

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Now you'll have people doubting me! You should have mentioned we were taking Mike Tyson on the moneyline.


Quick question: Any truth to the rumor that you and Rob in the Newell were the actual inspiration for The Fast and the Furious franchise? Six months is a long time to just be driving around. I bet you were actually on some dangerous government missions and that Newell was equipped like the coach car for James West and Artemis Gordon.

Six months in the Newell was a little long. But the highlight was when we drove up to Montana for a few days to meet Mickey. After all that time on the road, I asked Mickey if he could set me up with a few women. He hooked me up with three women. Thankfully, only one had a dick. I tried to learn about the double-up bug from Rob and Mickey. But the only thing I learned about the double-up bug was when I got both syphilis and gonorrhea from one of the women.

Luckily, Mickey gave me a few tips on Sic Bo.

Bumping this to show Mr. V that his exploits, while 100% believable, are nothing.

Pshaw: weak stuff: let me tell you how I do it, dawgie style.

I bribed both a dealer in the baccarat salon and the on duty surveillance tech so I now cut through their stacks of chips like a hot Rolex in a hooker's cooch.

See, I'd won this Newell motorhome off of some schmuck who'd stolen it: he had the gall to bet that his prick was longer than mine: silly man, there's no bigger prick than an attorney.

I phonied up a title, sold the rig, and used the money to pay the dealer and the Guy in the Eye; my family had cut me off from my generous stipend from the profits they make selling slaves, oil, and hair back home so I had to improvise: the gall of those camel herders, claiming that I'm pissing away the family fortune.

I'm a bit concerned that my confederates might rat me out, but if they do I'll disappear back in the Sahara...and no, I don't mean the casino.

Oh well, if that happens I'll have to once again get used to wiping my ass with my left hand and eating with my right.

Truth is, I still wipe with my left: no wonder my keyboard, like my posts, is full of shit.