I'd Like to Dedicate this Song to Rob Singer

Hey Rob, please accept this cover version of the Barenaked Ladies hit song "If I Had a Million Dollars".

I've re-titled it to "If I'd Won a Million Dollars" and changed the lyrics to suit you. Feel free to plagiarize it and claim it as your own. :D

If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d buy me a house
I sure would like a house

And if I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
I’d buy a computer for my house
Maybe a nice IBM or a MacBook

And if I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d post a bunch of lies
A whole shit load of lies
And if I’d won a million dollars, I’d spank my “love”

If I’d won a million dollars
I’d test a VP machine at home
If I’d won a million dollars you could help
But no results for you

If I’d won a million dollars
Maybe we could lock up a little servant
In there somewhere
We could just go up there with schlongs out

Like open the cheeks then STUFF
And there’d all be feces laid out for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages
But they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame them?
Yeah

If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d buy you a drink
But not tip, because I’m cruel

And if I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d buy me an exotic pet
Yep, like one I could sodomize

And if I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d tell you about my ESP
And hot and cold streaks as well
And if I’d won a million dollars I’d spank my “love”

If I’d won a million dollars
I wouldn’t lie about winning anymore
If I‘d won a million dollars
I’d post something that doesn’t bore

If I’d won a million dollars
I wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner
But I would eat Kraft dinner

Of course I would, I’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups

If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d buy me a green dress
A real green dress, that’s cool

And if I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d buy me a mag
Like Playgirl or Out

If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
Well, I’d buy me a monkey
Haven’t you always wanted to see my monkey?
If I’d won million dollars I’d spank my “love”

If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
If I’d won a million dollars
I'd be rich

That was good. This song by Barenaked Ladies is so gentle, it's hard to hold it and Rob in your mind simultaneously. The way Rob presents himself, he should probably make a rap video to go with his data explanations. Alan can make it work.