I've got a little bit of time before the girls get up and we go skiing up at Tahoe for the day. I'm even cooking everyone breakfast! So while I'm spending some of that jackpot money that's twisted everyone in knots and helped them locate those pits in their stomachs over the past six months or so, it's only appropriate--and actually the humane thing to do around here--that I allow you all some time today to assist in letting off some of that pent up steam over my plethora of big wins lately. We all know losers just can't stand reading about how others win. Heck, remember how you felt the last time you had to ENDURE the fat-ass lady sitting next to you--yes YOU...such a self-professed INFORMED player--only to have to sit thru the absolute horror of another royal flush that was not yours? And who says I won't help you stomach all these disappointments! Opportunities abound....even for those who just will not learn their lesson about how to become a strong, winning player in vp like me.

A. The first level of steam-release is how I HAVE to be parking my butt in high limit rooms, patiently waiting on lucky rich people to hit big winners, only to run over and snap quik pics! Now there's a fun scenario!

B. Now if that doesn't sell, then it just HAS to be that I've taken advanced photoshop classes and have mastered the art of turning quarter wins into huge handpay jackpot wins, complete with verification overlays and amounts! Wow! I'm still learning after all these years!!

C. But gee, if that isn't cutting it very well, then I MUST be sending out throngs of heavy hitters to win, come back with the goods AND the juicy pictures, so I can create winning scenarios! Yikes-- where'd I get so many "well-hung" friends?!

D. Oh my....but we need more. So now I'm a time-travelling/date-stamping/picture-snapping manipulator! But I pack 3 phones and an old camera, with some pictures spot on that no one will mention, and some not so much! Holy Toledo! But where on earth could I be getting these pictures? Hmmm....back to the photoshopping again, except for that pesky little 'ol $25 off-center decal that WAS the "talk of the town"...That is, until someone actually turned hopeful theory into stinging reality.

E. So now, at the end of everyone's ropes, what could we possibly have left for this old bucket of steam? Oh yes: when all else fails, soothe the soul by pretending that since I don't mention how many points I accumulated and at times, explain the strategy used and always identify the win/loss but ignore the meaningless stat , again sometimes, about how long I sat at machines, it just HAS GOT TO BE that I'm a net loser overall. Of course, on a forum mostly inhabited by self-proclaimed losers who have little clue on how to play the game properly, there can't POSSIBLY be a big winner among them--especially one who only plays those darn -EV games!

So there you have it: let it all out folks, you'll sleep much better at night! I'm gonna get started on the potato pancakes and omelettes!!