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Thread: A few thoughts I must express

  1. #1
    This morning I received the news that I will be undergoing emergency heart valve replacement surgery Monday to replace a mechanical valve that was put in 6 years ago which is failing. No need for anyone to feel bad for me as it’s an anonymous message board and none of you really know me. Even the handful of guys here that I consider my “internet friends” haven’t met me...at least not officially (that might give one or two something to think about ). For those that don’t care a whole lot for me, don’t get too excited. I anticipate being back online in a week to 10 days with too much time on my hands while I am recovering. I believe in God and have a strong relationship with him. We talk everyday. I feel confident that he doesn’t want me up there bothering him just yet. But I do have a couple things I need to say publicly...first.

    First my history with this condition. In 2011, in my late 20’s I became sick with endocarditis, which is an infection that quickly eats the lining of heart values. I had heart valve replacement surgery, replacing 2 valves, and at that time I was told I had 25-30 years before they might need to be replaced again. Actually at that time I opted for the mechanical replacement, rather than the tissue valves, specifically because they were supposed to last longer, so I am feeling a little bit short-changed. Life happens.

    Receiving this news this morning on such short notice has send my immediate family into chaos. My mother who lives less than a mile away, is immediately moving into the guest room as she feels she needs to be here to care for me. My brother, hates having my mother in the same house as he always fear she wants to run his life. Silly boy has nothing to worry about, she’s not moving in to run his life...she is moving in to run mine over the next couple months. My partner is pissed that my mother thinks she needs to care for me during my recovery. He says “who does she think cared for you 6 years ago, when she was sitting on her ass in Florida?”

    As these selfish morons, who are my immediate family, and I love dearly, fight among themselves, no one has even asked what I want. I really just want a little peace and tranquility for the next 36 hours.

    I have already gone off track more than intended so, back to you all, the members of this forum, that I now call home. Yesterday, my main concerns were the expensive repair to my swimming pool and giving Alan a hard time about seeing 18 yo’s in a row. Neither seems very important to me today. I wish I could delete the “poll” thread I started just to make Alan look bad and let him know that no one believes him...but I can’t. The site doesn’t allow me to, so Dan Druff if you are reading, please delete that thread...it serves no purpose.

    I mean really what do I care if Alan thinks he saw 18 yo’s in a row (he didn’t! ). Whether he is lying or misremembering….what do I care. Whatever he saw or thinks he saw made quite an impression on him.

    As a matter of fact, ALL the bickering that I have been involved in for the last year and a half, on several forums, today, I ask myself why? What does any of it matter? Including what people think of me. That is NOT why I began participating on gambling related forums. I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by anything I said, as I at times got carried away in defending myself. And I am going to single out and specify Alan, because I have said some things, nasty at times, that although he has a way and seems to enjoy provoking, he still didn’t deserve.

    I also want to address a couple people from prior sites that while they don’t participate here that I know of, I have a feeling just might read.

    First Mike Shackleford: I am really sorry you got caught up in a feud that didn’t involve you. I think you made a bad choice in getting involved and once you did, you treated me unfairly. But there is plenty of blame to go around.....we can all take a piece of that blame. I don’t think you set out to treat me unfairly, but you did and it hurt me, because I respected you and really tried to make positive contributions to your forum for 4 years. You were put in the middle. And whether you think you have done anything that needs my forgiveness or not….I forgive you. I also deeply regret my handling of things afterwards on Gamblingforums, and particularly all the name calling. I often rail against the juvenile name calling on these forums and no one did it more than I. I sincerely apologize.

    Norm Wattenberger: I will never understand your actions throughout this ordeal (feud). But I forgive you.
    Norm, remember when I said I will celebrate the day you die? Trust me I am not going to give you the chance to do that first. I intend to live a long time. I hope you do too. Maybe given enough time we can find a way to figure this out and move forward.

    LarryS (from gambling forums): Larry, nothing wrong with being a male nurse. Very noble profession. I apologize for any jokes or putdowns involving your occupation. And I know you are now retired (I hope happily so), but just in case you are doing some sort of volunteer work here in Vegas and happen to be in the hospital I am in, DO NOT WASH MY BALLS! Stay the hell away from my balls!

    It’s a fantastically beautiful day here in Vegas, bright blue sunny skies, 78 degrees and just a hint of a breeze and I have a few friends coming over for an impromptu get-together that my brother has in very bad taste named “the last supper”....god love him. I do! So until next week or so…. god bless you all.

    Edit: PS. Mickeycrimm: How could I forget you. You always had my back. Thanks for being my friend, now and going forward.

    In reading/editing this post, I can already anticipate and feel the "drama" / "drama queen" comments. Hey...it's what my people do! (I'm talking about the Irish)....but we can discuss that in a week or so.
    Last edited by kewlJ; 10-14-2017 at 04:02 PM.

  2. #2
    Positive variance to you, kewlJ

  3. #3
    Get well soon.
    "More importantly, mickey thought 8-4 was two games over .500. Argued about it. C'mon, man. Nothing can top that for math expertise. If GWAE ever has you on again, you can be sure I'll be calling in with that gem.'Nuff said." REDIETZ

  4. #4
    Originally Posted by mickeycrimm View Post
    Get well soon.
    Our prayers are sent your way.

  5. #5
    Hey guys, thanx but no need for the well wishes really. I will be fine. I just felt like I needed to say a few things.


    Originally Posted by bocce ball View Post
    Positive variance to you, kewlJ
    Yeah, I didn't exactly get positive variance with that initial valve did I? expected value was 25-30 years. I got 6!

  6. #6
    Rob being gone just keeps on paying dividends. Thank goodness.
    Take off that stupid mask you big baby.

  7. #7
    Good luck with the surgery and your recovery, and with all the people battling to take care of you

  8. #8

  9. #9
    During the Jewish Holidays I forgave you which is our custom. Now I will pray for you.

    Normally I say people pray in Churches and people pray in Synagogues but when they pray in casinos they really mean it. When I pray for you I will really mean it.

  10. #10
    Sounded like a "contemplation of death" monologue.

    Nothing wrong with that, as we all need to contemplate our mortality; otherwise our inner asshole will tend to run amuck.
    Last edited by MisterV; 10-14-2017 at 09:10 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  11. #11
    Originally Posted by Alan Mendelson View Post
    Normally I say people pray in Churches and people pray in Synagogues but when they pray in casinos they really mean it. When I pray for you I will really mean it.

  12. #12
    Best of luck and a speedy recovery. I was laughing at your family situation. One time my brother had to bar my mother from the hospital because she was making my wife miserable.

  13. #13
    Originally Posted by MisterV View Post
    Sounded like a "contemplation of death" monologue.
    Agreed.

    Originally Posted by MisterV View Post
    Nothing wrong with that, as we all need to contemplate our mortality; otherwise our inner asshole will ted to run amuck.
    Aside from PM's, are internet forums the place for this? I don't think so, but others decide for themselves. I haven't seen any boards that care one way or another. Though the only other board where I have seen anything like this is the WoV. The practice there seems to be taking weird turns. Perhaps, even fewer have questioned this.

    Can people form sincere relationships of this nature on line? In other words, can we come too far with it, to contemplate contemplating mortality. Real death involves not always saying goodbye, needing or wanting to; loose ends with family; and unfinished arguments, projects and thoughts. It's like we all now feel compelled to document our lives in fine detail, and think about thinking about it, as with, say, the internet forums. What happened to living it? Come what the heck may.
    Last edited by OneHitWonder; 10-14-2017 at 07:50 PM.

  14. #14
    Be calm and get well, KJ. And it is a cool thing to have your mom take care of you -- that's a great thing!

    All my wishes for your next 36 hours to be a minor bump on the way to some good strong valves. Check in as soon as you can. Or have your mom check in -- she'll get a hoot out of it.

  15. #15
    Originally Posted by regnis View Post
    I was laughing at your family situation. One time my brother had to bar my mother from the hospital because she was making my wife miserable.
    Yeah, we don't get to pick our family members do we? I have a very small family, my mom, my brother and spouse and despite any 'issues', I love them all.

  16. #16
    Best of luck to you KJ....speedy recovery

  17. #17
    Wow, that's really bad. I would be really scared coming into something like this.

    I am probably about 10 years older than you, and I still believe I have a long time until I have to face problems like this, so it really shows that anything can happen at any time.

    Hope it turns out ok.
    Check out my poker forum, and weekly internet radio show at http://pokerfraudalert.com

  18. #18
    I can't say that I am not scared...I am. I think you would have to be an idiot not to be and while I am close to an idiot, I am not there yet. Not having much time to prepare was probably a good thing though. My younger brother is a real mess as he has never been through anything like this with anyone close to him. (kind of a sheltered life).

    I have a good doctor with a lot of experience. And while there is nothing 'routine' about full open heart surgery, which is what I am having again, I am under the impression valve replacement is less complicated (and risky) than other heart procedures like bypass, as they are not working directly on the heart, but kind of the outer edges. That's probably wrong, so please don't anyone pull up stats proving me wrong....at least not right now.

    As a matter of fact, the doc told me he could have done this procedure with a minimally invasive approach (without cracking open the ribs) except that they is too much scar tissue from 6 years ago, so he can't go that route. Don't know why he told me that? "We could have....but we can't" doesn't help me.

    Anyway things have calmed down on the home front. I had a little talk with everyone asking them to be tolerant of everyone else and what they are going through. I am lucky to have people in my life that care so much. I had a relaxing day watching football, and my mother cooked me a wonderful breakfast (french toast) and dinner (meatloaf), my favorite meal. So I am ready...as ready as I can be.

  19. #19
    My former News Director in Miami has had this surgery twice. The second time in his late 60s. His brother also had it. They both inherited heart valve problems. Even in their late 60s they came thru the surgeries fine. There have been great advances and doctors know what they're doing, meaning this is not experimental stuff anymore.

    Be confident. I'm sure in three days you'll be back online.

  20. #20
    Originally Posted by Alan Mendelson View Post
    Be confident. I'm sure in three days you'll be back online.
    Well thanks for the encouragement, but 3 days time is a bit optimistically unrealistic. In 3 days I might get out of ICU. Maybe, just maybe I can be home in time for the Eagles next win next Monday night. But I can't promise you when I will be online again, but it won't be 3 days and probably not 7, if I have the discomfort I experienced 6 years ago. Nothing personal, but rushing back here to ague with you (even less arguing) is not my top priority.

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