I have thought long and hard about whether to make this post. It will open me up to be attacked for those looking for a reason, perhaps even you Monet. I can live with that. As you may or may not know, I lost a dear friend earlier this month. He was young (50's) and died suddenly, without a chance to make any decisions regarding treatment options. Maybe that is the best way to go, I don't know.
Monet, I don't challenge your right to make any decision, your are contemplating. Things you are saying are not necessarily the decisions I would make....at least not based on the information you have or indicate you have, which I believe to be insufficient.
Perhaps you situation or condition is as dire as you have indicated. Maybe some sort of terminal thing, and the best option is for you to determine the timeline.
But just maybe it is not. What if it is some minor issue or condition that can be relatively easily treated by medication and or a relatively simple procedure? Or what if it is not so minor and the treatment option is not so easy, but still possible?
As AP's we make decisions based on as much information as we have available. I just don't feel you are doing that. You are making a decision before necessary....before you have come to that crossroad.
Monet, on behalf of my friend and all those like him, that didn't have a chance to make any decisions, I implore you to seek a diagnosis....find out what is wrong before making any decisions that you are making. Gather as much information as you can first and THEN make your decisions. THAT is the AP way.
Many / most diagnosis of things can be made by blood test where various 'markers' show up. Yes, often there are follow up tests necessary for confirmation. Big deal.
I am wishing you the best and hope you will accept this post and suggestions in the spirit it is intended and allow yourself all available information before making the decisions that are ultimately within your right to make.
Although we don't agree in many areas and I would not make many decisions you make, I would miss your posts and this community (AP and gambling) would be for the worse without your contributions.