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Thread: Top 10 Reasons to Fraudulantly Use Food Stamps

  1. #1
    With apologies to David Letterman, the top 10 reasons to fraudulently use food stamps:


    10) Garage fees for your Hellcat doubled.
    9) No more free food from the Gaming Today employee lounge.
    8) Mr. Mendelson stopped buying you lunch (talk about a stop loss).
    7) Your son-in-law turned you into the IRS for claiming take-home pastrami as a deduction.
    6) The money saved goes towards the annual meal at Michael's.
    5) Someone stole your gold stash from the Arizona locker.
    4) You wanted to see how the other half lives.
    3) Degenerate gambling amps up one's appetite.
    2) Bob Dancer told me to.
    1) It's an advantage play, stupid!

  2. #2
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    Martingale it.

    Food stamps today, then add welfare, then add state health insurance, then top it off eventually with "three hots and a cot."
    What, Me Worry?

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