Originally Posted by
MisterV
It was a dark and stormy night at Chinook Winds casino; spume from the pounding surf wafted like light fog and coated the handrail I was holding.
So slippery.
"Jeeves, bring the sedan chair, and take me to my machine."
My slaves transported me through the maw of the casino and took me to the only game I care to play, a slot machine called "Wizard of Odds."
It's an older game, the object of which is to overwhelm the other players with inane claims of derring-do while destroying the forum via continuous babbling, groundless brags, heroic challenges and gobs of library paste.
I reached into my vest pocket and procured one dollar: that's all I ever need.
First bet and BAM, winner, winner, who's a sinner?
Second bet and BAM won again.
*Yawn*
Over the next half hour I won every pull, as always; my slaves were kept busy taking my winning tickets to the cashier to be cashed in and exchanged for stuffed animals, toy planes, and of course Pez candy.
One of the slaves, a brute named SlouchBelly, was slouching a bit too much for my pleasure so I gave him a couple of well-placed lashes with the bull whip: a look of rapture spread across his face.
The casino patrons watched in fear, as well they might: it could be their turn next.
"Jeeves, I am thirsty."
Immediately he brought me a flask of hummingbird tears; I quaffed the draft.
Satisfied, it was time to leave this hell hole and return to my lakeside estate where I'd once again corner the market.
This gambling, this investing, it is getting so boring, winning all the time; it might be nice to lose once in a while.
Nah, who am I kidding?
It's great to be me!
Now, where's that junior high school?
I feel lucky.
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