So I was reviewing the usual two-step thinking that monet and I were bantering about, and it occurred to me. I could claim something that mickey and Alan could get on board with in a snap.

Say I post the same photo Rob.Singer posted and I also claim that I won 1.5 million playing video poker on that particular hand. I give no specific location. I give no specific time. I give no specific date. I give no W2Gs. I give no additional photos because, God knows, that would waste battery power on my phone. I say I entered into a special agreement with the casino to keep it under wraps because I'm a high roller. I claim that the person in the photo is my brother (who is bulky and quite a bit bigger than me).

Now, since I've never lied on this forum and I've never posted Newell pics or stuff like that (I do have an Amazing Fantasy 15 I could post a pic of), I submit that both Alan and mickey should be ready to state that they "have no reason to not believe me." After all, despite not being much of a video poker player, I gamble more and at higher stakes than almost anyone here.

If anyone asks how Rob got the pic, well, a lot of people were standing around me when my brother snapped the pic. I sent it to all of them. I have Rob's phone number, after all.

Okay, let's do it!

I won 1.5 million playing video poker! Yowza, baby!! Anybody wanna slap me on the back? I'm numero uno, the source of so much pain! I'm DA MAN!

Wise up, dudes. You're looking at the real and actual $1.5 mill winner!! Feel the pain, peasants!!


Now, monet, where was I? That was ridiculously easy. I should probably win some more jackpots before dinner. I'll get to work on it.