As James' attorney, Axl filed legal papers contesting the finding that James was in fact the sire of four hungry, mewling mouths in need of feeding.

At trial James testified "But, but, how can this be? We never had sex."

Things did not go well for James as he had zero evidence to contest and disprove the scientific DNA testing, so Axl swung for the cheap seats.

"Judge V., James does not lie, at least not while under oath, so he must be telling the truth. Therefore these children were immaculately conceived by The Creator, and are the second coming of Jesus Christ, times four."

A furor, no: HAVOC broke out in the court room; the trial was halted because all the spectators' blood made it difficult to keep one's footing.

Word quickly spread across the 'net about the new Messiahs.

Sensing a Golden Opportunity, Judge V. ensconced Melissa and her brood in a hastily built creche on the courthouse lawn; he put a fence around it and demanded that viewers pay a thousand bucks to get close to the little Messiahs.

Millions flocked to see the miracle of our time: Billions were paid in support of their delusion.

Judge V. and Melissa raked it all in, splitting the proceeds as always, snorting Peruvian flake and remarking: "What fools these mortals be."