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Thread: Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

  1. #381
    When Billy awoke the next morning, he had two things: morning wood, and an idea. Why didn't I think of this before, Billy wondered, putting cocaine directly inside my penis. He looked for a syringe, but came up empty handed. He would have to venture out to the Walgreens to get supplies to try his new idea. He threw on a faded pink muumuu and matching hat and espied a bus stop not far from the bridge he was sleeping under. With no money for the bus, he would have to give the driver a hummer. The bus pulled up. It was a lady driver.

    "I don't have any money, do you have a dick I can suck in lieu of payment?" Billy asked in his poshest British accent.

    "Hop aboard. This is my last day of work so I don't give a fuck any more." the driver said non-chalantly.

    Billy thanked the heavens for his good luck and looked around for a seat. He espied an empty spot next to a grumpy looking woman who appeared dressed for work at Walgreens. As Billy approached, the woman grimaced and quickly put a hideous handbag in the empty seat. Then she lifted half her rump to let rip a hot barking shrimp scampi stinker. Pee-yew! Billy grimaced in return. The woman laughed. "That shrimp was COMPED."

    Billy had never been so insulted in all his life. What could he say or do that would top the ultimate diss of putting an ugly handbag on an empty seat and farting? He had an idea.

    "I have two things you'll never have, lady"

    "Oh yeah, what's that? An ugly muumuu and a bald spot?" the woman retorted.

    "No, because you can easily obtain those things. The two things I have which you will never have are class, and..." Billy now paused and then leaned in close to whisper the second part, "an account in good standing on Wizard of Vegas forums."

    Upon hearing the second item the woman flew into a rage, banging on the bus windows with her ham hock fists, swinging her ugly handbag at her fellow passengers at random. Its contents flew through the air on the speeding bus. Lipstick, gum, scotch tape, a futuristic blue key, a 5x7 framed glamour shot of a nude midget posing on a yacht, purple crayon, 20 ketchup packets, a ziplock baggie with cash and coins, debit card, employee badge, petrified hunk of baguette, clothespin voodoo doll of Axl Rose, Rubik's cube, ancient Greek dagger, ancient Chinese dragon carved from jade, business card from Claven Records, autographed photo of Andy Chang from CCCR, handwritten list of best fart scenes in film, silicone breast implant, taxidermied gerbil wearing a miniature Walgreens uniform, and a red helium balloon.

    The bus driver had no more time for this shit, stopped the bus at the nearest Church's Chicken, ripped a coleslaw fart, and said to the passengers, "See ya, hate ta be ya!" before jumping out the front door.

    Everyone exited and dispersed in various directions. Billy and the Walgreens lady with shrimp scampi farts stayed behind on the bus. While the lady was collecting her belongings, Billy surveyed the bus with an even more brilliant idea than the one he'd woken up with.

    "Wowsers! I should just live on this bus. I can drive it across the country and do a solo tour."

    And with that, Billy unceremoniously threw the Walgreens lady off the bus and onto the pavement and drove off into the sunset.

    THE END.

  2. #382
    Axl woke up the next morning. He had a luxurious breakfast, showered, and got ready for the day. He locked up and went back to the hospital. He told CCCR about his luxurious night in the Penthouse Suite. CCCR were excited and James, Jimmy Andy and Mike were excited to be getting their own luxurious Penthouse Suite experience. Billy looked upset. CCCR felt bad that Billy wouldn't be able to enjoy the luxurious Penthouse Suite until he recovered from his gunshot wound.



    Axl said,"James, Jimmy, Andy and Mike, you guys all go have the luxurious Penthouse Suite experience and I'll stay here with Billy. Billy smiled gratefully. James, Andy Mike and Jimmy all asked Billy if he was okay with them having the luxurious Penthouse Suite experience while he was in the hospital.



    Billy said he was okay with it. Axl was fine with it too.



    Soon, James, Andy, Mike and Jimmy all left to go to the Penthouse Suite while Billy and Axl stayed behind.



    Axl felt a little resentful that he was stuck with Billy in a hospital, and not having a blast in the luxurious Penthouse Suite, but his conscience said,"Billy hid you in his house from the Authorities when you were a Fugitive. Billy was the only one who visited you in jail. You should stay with him." Axl fed Billy more cream of broccoli soup and gave him more water. He gently caressed Billy's hair while Billy looked at him contently. Axl smiled back. They watched TV together.



    Billy's Doctors and nurses came and did more medical work on Billy and then left.



    Billy soon fell asleep.



    Axl called W and said,"Axl, I'm worried about Billy. I love him so much and he's lying up in a hospital room, with a gunshot wound to his stomach. " Axl cried.



    W was like,"Let's just be grateful he survived. Let's be grateful he's still here with us."



    Axl also opened up to W about how he felt resentful that he was stuck in a hospital room with Billy when he could have been relaxing in the luxurious Penthouse Suite.



    W responded,"I can see why you feel resentful, but Billy should be out of the hospital soon and then both of you can enjoy the luxurious Penthouse Suite. Right now, Billy needs your support and love in the hospital room. Billy's been through a lot. He needs his boyfriend to support and love him."



    Axl thanked W for his advice. He was welcomed and they chatted for a while and said their goodbyes and hung up.



    Axl looked at Billy sleeping and thought of all the emotions he was feeling for Billy.



    Love, compassion, anger, fear, sadness, resentfulness. He was mad at Billy for setting the house on fire with his Cocaine Addiction in the first place and landing all of them in a temporary Hotel in the first place like homeless People. He was scared that Billy was a gunshot victim. He was sad that Billy nearly died, multiple times. He was in love with Billy and loved how kind, loving, sweet, Billy was. He was compassionate to Billy's plight. He was resentful that he was stuck in a Hospital Room with Billy rather than relaxing in the luxurious Penthouse Suite.



    Billy soon woke up and said,"I love you Axl." Axl smiled.



    The "I love you, Axl," did it for Axl. Billy's love for Axl made it all worthwhile. Axl said,"I love you too, Billy." Billy smiled back.



    Billy and Axl chatted for a while and then both fell asleep.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  3. #383
    They woke up later. The Doctors and nurses worked on Billy again. Billy wondered when he'd be able to leave the Hospital. The Doctors and Nurses said he should be able to leave soon. Axl and Billy smiled. The Doctors smiled back. They finished working on Billy and left. Axl fed Billy more cream of broccoli and gave him more water.



    Billy thanked Axl for taking good care of him. Axl smiled and welcomed him. He kissed Billy on his forehead. Soon, James, Andy, Mike, and Jimmy came to visit Billy. They had locked the Penthouse Suite. They asked Billy how he was feeling. Billy smiled wryly and said he felt better than when he was first shot. Everyone smiled back.



    They all hung out in Billy's hospital room. The Doctors said that Billy might have to stay about one more week in the hospital. Billy wanted to go home, but he knew he needed to recuperate in the hospital. Axl told him he would stay with him throughout his hospital stay. James, Jimmy, Andy and Mike said they would visit. Hospital policies didn't allow all of them to stay the entire week, only Axl as Billy's Boyfriend and Power Of Attorney.

    Billy smiled.



    The week went by with Axl staying with Billy and being a Caregiver for Billy. The rest of CCCR visited often. Billy was taken really good care of in the hospital.



    Billy was released after another week and they went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Billy was grateful he was out of the hospital and could relax in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Billy was able to eat solid food. They ordered Room Service and had Lobster, steak, French fries, soda, water, and chocolate cake with ice cream.



    CCCR was happy Billy was with them. Billy was happy too. Billy once again apologized for setting the house on fire by accident. They all accepted his apologies. Axl decided to draw up Contracts that stated that only them 6 would ever know for sure that Billy was the one who accidentally set the house on fire. He drew up the Contracts, and everyone read, understood agreed and signed the Contracts. Axl smiled and they all smiled back. Axl digitally stored the Contracts. He and CCCR relaxed more.



    They watched the News and Martin had gotten beat up by CCCR Fans who were also incarcerated themselves. CCCR all laughed.



    On Social Media, Fans lamented the fact that CCCR basically quit.



    Axl thought of a good idea. Why not have CCCR have one final show, a farewell Show, and have this one be the best Show out of all of the shows? He told CCCR his idea, and they were all on board with it.



    They practiced for the final CCCR show.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  4. #384
    They called Claven Records and told them their plan of having a Final Farewell Show. Claven Records were on board with this. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



    CCCR announced a Final Farewell Show for tomorrow and fans were excited. News quickly spread.



    They chilled until the next day.



    The next day, it was the day of the Final Farewell Show. They woke up, ate, and got ready for the day. They gave Wild Guns free front row tickets and they practiced and then it was time to go to James L Knight Center and they went. They had hired bomb experts and extra Security. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. Wild Guns and CCCR all chatted amicably. Soon it was time for the show to get ready to start and CCCR went on stage.



    Wild Guns was in the front row smiling at them proudly. CCCR all smiled back.



    They couldn't believe this was the Final Farewell Show for CCCR and 100,000 Fans showed up to see them! They were excited. The show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers. This show was the longest they ever did, as they performed EVERY song from All The Sweet Filling, Tasty Cake Reloaded, Bronze Cake, and Cream Rose, a total of 40 songs. The show was phenomenal and Fans cheered wildly. CCCR were really into it and knew this was the Final Farewell Show for CCCR. Wild Guns also cheered wildly. CCCR was happy. At the final sendoff, the crowd applause was deafening in a good way. CCCR all graciously bowed and thanked the Fans for supporting them for four Albums! The crowd welcomed them. The show was over and Wild Guns and CCCR went to a Restaurant to celebrate. They had a nice steak dinner and ate and paid.



    They said their goodbyes and CCCR went back to the Penthouse Suite. Already the Final Farewell Show went viral and Fans were like,"What a phenomenal Show CCCR did today! What a wonderful final goodbye!



    CCCR all blushed happily. On Social Media, it was pointed out how interesting that CCCR had their Debut, their Sophomore, their Junior, and their Senior albums, had won 6 Grammys, had to return 5 of them, were the Wealthiest Band in the world, even being put in Guinness World Records, were world wide famous, went through irrelevancy, had a comeback, made another Album, and now had their Final Farewell Show all within just a couple of months! They lived a full career within just a couple of months! CCCR all blushed more happily. They showered and got ready for bed and fell asleep.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  5. #385
    Post-CCCR, 20 years passed and things went much as they'd expected.

    Jimmy still sat but he'd swapped the crotch of a tree for a much more comfortable and accessible park bench.

    He was still shoeless, playing "Aqualung" repeatedly on his flute, pretending he was Ian Anderson; he was eyeing little girls with bad intent; snot was running down his nose, and his greasy fingers were smearing his shabby clothes: he'd never been happier.

    Mike was now assistant manager of his local DQ; his love of strawberry blizzards had caused him to grow a 60 inch waist but he didn't care as the strawberry blizzards were delicious.

    James worked for the sewer dept.; as the most rabid farter of CCCR he'd found that he needed near constant exposure to fart smell in order to keep himself centered; divorced and lonely, he filled his spare time by posting on gambling forums and credit hustling at local casinos.

    Post-suicide, Andy had been cremated and his remains made into an ash tray.

    Axl had been busy as well; he'd had the docs put him under the knife: his/her/its new name was "Petunia" and Petunia now had a balcony you could do Shakespeare from.

    Petunia worked in a bordello when she wasn't practicing opera for America's Got Talent; much to her surprise Mike came in for a shag.

    She shagged him then let him know who it was he'd just shagged; Mike smiled, shook her hand, thanked her and was welcomed.

    Post-coitus, their pillow talk revolved around "the good old days" with CCCR; they decided they missed the fun and the money (but not the bombings and shootings).

    "Let's find the others and hit the casino circuit" suggested Petunia, and Mike agreed.

    It took some doing but they located and enlisted the remaining members and Petunia put on her manager's hat and booked gigs at nearby tribal casinos.

    Broke as a joke these days and dealing with penny-pinching entertainment directors their request for bullet proof plexiglass on the stage was laughed at, as well as their request for motorcycle helmets and bullet proof vests: "Get out and play you has beens" was what they were told.

    The first show didn't last long.

    "Where is Axl?" the few patrons in the audience wondered?

    Petunia explained that she was once Axl but the Trumpish fans would have none of it; they hurled dripping mangos, Bingo cards, chairs, bottles of water and even a dwarf and a feral cat at the band, scoring some good hits.

    The performance soon ended; the band farted loudly, got paid their contracted twenty bucks and left the casino smiling and upbeat.

    "Anybody want a strawberry blizzard?" asked Petunia? "I'm buying."

    "And I'm making them" chirped Mike, ecstatic at seizing failure from the jaws of defeat.

    They smiled, shook hands, thanked and welcomed each other and wandered off down the yellow brick road.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-27-2023 at 01:06 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  6. #386
    Here is some behind the scenes Commentary for my Fictional Axl Rose!

    The Courtroom scenes in my Fictional Axl Rose story, I based on how the real life Axl acted in Steven Adler Vs Guns N Roses Lawsuit. Axl was calm, cool, collected in that court case and gave intimidating stares. I incorporated his calm, cool, collected behavior and his intimidating stares in my Fictional Axl story. Axl also gave a couple of looks of panic in the real life Court case, so I incorporated the looks of panic into my Fictional Axl Rose story.

    Here is the real life Axl Rose court case I used as a template for my Fictional Axl Rose Court cases.

    (Even the thumbnail for this one is him giving an intimidating stare)



    A reader on another Website that I have this story on said something like,"It's a decent story, but why is your Fictional Axl blushing so much? Real life Axl doesn't and didn't constantly blush."

    My Fictional Axl Rose blushes so much because I base him on a real life interview where Axl is shy and blushing throughout the entire interview.



    The one where my Fictional Axl tells Security to,"Hey, grab that item from the guy in the red flannel shirt in the third seat in the front row, (Security refused to do anything) I'll take it , Goddammit!" And ran off stage and took the bomb from the concertgoer is based on the infamous Riverport Concert Riot where Axl did something similar, but my Fictional Axl did it better.

    My Fictional Axl came back to the Stage after bomb threat was over and the Show continued, real life Axl stormed off stage, stopping the concert early. This resulted in the infamous Riverport Concert Riot. This video was also the inspiration for my Fictional Axl punching the Paparazzi and breaking his camera after the Paparazzi harassed and followed him around taking unwanted pictures of Axl despite Axl and Cake Cream politely asking him to stop. He kept going, so Axl punched him in his face and broke his camera.



    My Fictional Axl Rose doing a relieved smirk is based on the smirk real life Axl did when he was arrested and booked for the infamous Riverport Concert Riot.
    (At exactly 20 seconds in, is Axl's smirking mugshot.
    Last edited by Tasha; 03-02-2023 at 06:13 PM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  7. #387
    They woke up the next day and got ready for the day and ate.

    They wondered how they would make more money now that they basically quit CCCR.

    Axl had an idea. Maybe he could get them to sell Cake Cream name to him?



    Axl said,"Jimmy, James, Andy, Mike, and Billy, how do you feel about selling the Cake Cream name and rights to me? I mean, I'm already your Power Of Attorney, your Lawyer, your Manager, and the Songwriter for all Cake Cream songs except the Cake Cream Demo. Besides, I saved you guys multiple times. I'll be a good Cake Cream name and rights owner and can guarantee that the money can keep rolling in. You'll be set for LIFE.

    James, Jimmy, Mike, Andy, and Billy all thought this out seriously and considerably and trusted Axl immensely already, and he did save them multiple times. They decided to sell the Cake Cream rights and name to him. Axl pointed out they should probably go to Claven Records and buy the Cake Cream name back. They agreed he had a good point.

    They went to Claven Records and said they wanted to buy back the Cake Cream name and rights. They offered Claven Records a combined 120 Million to buy back Cake Cream name and rights. Claven Records was interested.

    Axl drew up Contracts that stated that Claven Records would be selling the Cake Cream name and rights. Claven Records read, understood agreed and signed. A Janitor was called to sign as Witness and he did. He was thanked and he welcomed them. Cake Cream and Axl all Zelled Claven Records $20 Million each and Claven Records gave back Cake Cream name and rights. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and CCCR all left.

    They went back to the Penthouse Suite and Axl drew up Contracts that stated he would be the sole owner of the Cake Cream name and would pay them 100 million each. They all read, understood, agreed and signed Axl called a Hotel Manager and had him sign as Witness. The Hotel Manager was thanked and he welcomed them. He soon left.

    Axl Zelled each Cake Cream Member 100 Million each. Cake Cream name and rights now solely belonged to Axl!

    Axl and Cake Cream were ecstatic! Axl took them all out to dinner to celebrate at a REALLY expensive restaurant, one where the meals were an average of $1,000 a person. They had a very nice meal and chatted amicably.

    Axl said,"Thank you guys for selling the Cake Cream name and rights to me. It means a lot to me," Axl was grateful.

    Cake Cream all were like,"You're welcome, Axl. Everybody smiled. They soon finished eating and drinking and paid and left.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  8. #388
    Duplicate post.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  9. #389
    Axl had a dream; like MLK's dream, only better.

    "I will end homelessness" he proclaimed.

    Inspired by his nocturnal emission (as well as by his weird dream) he went about the task of Changing The World.

    He rented a van and then went to Bumville where he convinced five filthy bums to get in the van, enroute to a new life.

    He took them to a warehouse which had a stage and band equipment all set up and ready to go.

    The bums smiled, popped blue pills, shot up, drank MD 20-20 and farted up a storm: fact is one bum shit his pants but it wasn't much of a stinker.

    Axl showed them how to fake it, and they thanked him, then faked it: decent fakery, he thought: time to go.

    He booked the local venue for a concert that night; fans packed the joint.

    Show time: Axl gave an inspirational talk to his glassy-eyed, fentanyl-popping troubadours.

    "Alright you fucking bums" Axl said, "Your lives have been shit until this moment; losers all. But this is a moment that will live in infamy."

    The curtain opened, the bums started "playing" their instruments and lip synching to canned audio.

    Fans started booing, throwing chairs, Pez dispensers, even an usher and a goat were hurled on stage.

    "Wait" said Axl, "let me explain. All the money from this show goes to help the homeless. Aren't you kind people concerned, empathetic and compassionate about them and their needs?"

    A roar arose from the crowd: "Fuck the Poor" and "Eat shit and die you worthless fuckwit" and "What is reality?" serenaded him; the last thing he recalled was a muzzle flash before a well-aimed .45 round hit him in the neck, at the spot unprotected by his motorcycle helmet and bullet proof vest.

    And the band "played" on...
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-04-2023 at 02:15 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  10. #390
    Axl shook his head groggily to disperse the cobwebs and wondered "Where the hell am I?"

    He couldn't move his hands or feet: odd.

    Looking aside he was shocked to see they were tied and staked to the ground; he was a prisoner.

    In a panic he started yelling.

    An obese dwarf (or was it a midget? He always got the two confused) waddled over, festooned in regalia.

    "As the Mayor of Munchkin City I hereby sentence you to death, you wicked witch."

    Axl recalled that his time travelling exposed him to being yanked through loopholes in space time, and one must have snatched him up and transported him to the land of Oz after he'd been shot by yet another disgruntled fan.

    The fat puny-man came over to him and changed the bandage on his neck, saying "I don't know how your neck got cut but it was a grazing wound and by thunder I don't want you to die from blood loss before we throw you into the cooking pot. Fresh meat is always better"."

    "Uh, who are you people, exactly?"

    "We're munchkins. We smoke pot all day and develop a terrible munch, and the only way to sate ourselves is to consume the myriad witches that drop upon us from the sky at least once a week. My name is Ishmael. Pleased to meet you but I'd much rather eat you."

    Finally coming around and getting his bearings, Axl strained against his restraints without success; meanwhile a bell clanged in the distance.

    "That's the dinner bell" bleated the little politician.

    Axl wished he could skip dinner but he had a feeling that wouldn't be possible, so he cut loose with a deep, manly butt rumbler and asked "What's for dessert?"
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-06-2023 at 12:03 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  11. #391
    This is a song I'm going to have my Fictional Axl Rose write about Cake Cream in the near future.


    Titanic Song.

    ."I'm the captain of the Titanic, my ship's been hit by an iceberg sinking, I should be saying SOS, Help, and Mayday, but I don't want the world to know my ship is in trouble. So I tell the world,"The Titanic is in tip top shape. It's fine!" I'm the Captain, this is my ship, I'm supposed to handle trouble on my own, not reach out for any help. The world isn't supposed to know my ship is in trouble..

    "The Titanic is sinking, we're fine. Nothing to worry about, we're all okay."

    I gather my Crew who knows we're in trouble and I admit that we're in trouble and we're sinking. I hold them all tight knowing we just might be dead in a few hours. They hug me back.

    "The Titanic is sinking, we're fine. Nothing to worry about, we're all fine, we're okay.

    The Titanic is sinking even further. We're in need of real help but still I tell the world we're fine."

    The Titanic is sinking, we're fine. Nothing to worry about, we're all okay.

    We're at the bottom of the ocean and I frantically scream "HELP, SOS, MAYDAY!" We're not fine, we're not okay, we're in big trouble!"
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  12. #392
    Cap'n Axl awoke, hung over; he swilled some more laudanum, chased it with some cocaine-laden "patent medicine" and returned to the bridge of the Titanic.

    En route he stumbied over the ship's cat.

    "Fucking feline" he yelped, then heaved the meowing mammal into the North Atlantic.

    He listened for it to hit water but instead of a "splash" he heard only a faint "splat."

    Peering over the rail his glassy eyes espied a massive ice floe, a truly titanic berg; the cat was on it, glaring at Axl, giving him the middle paw.

    "Hmm, getting a bit icey" he concluded admirably.

    "Captain on the bridge" snapped his first mate.

    "Got any of that 15 year old scotch?" asked the modern day Ahab.

    "Sure do, we've been pounding it all night."

    As a British ship there was a ration of alcohol for the crew, but as this was the opulent Titanic instead of grog they had numerous casks of 15 year old Laphroaig single malt scotch on the bridge.

    Axl ladeled some Laphroaig into his pewter cup, quaffed a not-so "wee dram", smacked his lips, focused his blood-shot eyes and said "I saw some ice."

    "Where?"

    "All around us."

    "Oh. Well, not to worry, we're unsinkable, so drink up, cap'n"

    He drank up, smiling, wondering "what could go wrong?"

    "Want some laudanum?"

    "You bet, cap'n:" laudanum was shared all around; the recipients thanked Axl and were welcomed.

    The answer to Axl's rhetorical question "What could go wrong?" soon became evident when the ship slammed into the cat-carrying berg and started to sink; the shock induced Axl to let fly with a dramatic cheek ripper, followed by a huge belch.

    "Hit me again" he said to the first mate, indicating he needed a refill; "this is going to be a boring watch."
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-10-2023 at 04:02 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  13. #393
    Mr V, there have been completely abandoned things I planned to write and some I wrote it and then deleted it.

    Abandoned things. I planned to have Andy screw over Cake Cream and Axl for a lot of money, but I abandoned that thinking it be really mean of him to do.

    I thought about having Axl say,"You know if we were on a ship and I were the Captain and you were my Crew, and you pulled the "Play your Demo songs and not the songs I wrote for you," stunt, I'd make you walk the plank!" But I figured this would be really mean for Axl to say to Cake Cream , so I abandoned it.

    I actually thought of having Young Axl tell Older Axl,"I feel like I'm the Titanic and Cake Cream is the fucking iceberg!" But felt that would be really mean for Axl to say about Cake Cream (I thought of this whole having Axl have a mini resentful breakdown about Cake Cream and want to abandon them. Older Axl was like,"Just take a little vacation by yourself and I'll watch Cake Cream for you " Axl went on the much needed mini vacation by himself and felt better.

    I actually wrote this nasty joke Axl pulled on Jimmy, and deleted it, thinking it be really out of line for Axl to do .

    "Axl told Jimmy that James died after being hit in the stomach by Jimmy's guitar. He knew James was still alive but wanted to see if Jimmy truly hated James.

    James cried emotionally,"No! I didn't mean to kill James, I just wanted to hurt him! I can't believe James is dead and I killed him! I'm a Murderer! "

    Axl told him,"Go watch TV in your room. I'll protect you from the Authorities."

    Jimmy numbly nodded and went to his room and watched TV..Axl smirked, knowing that Jimmy didn't actually hate James judging by his horrified reaction to James supposed death.

    Axl called Billy and told him his ruse and Jimmy's horrified reaction. Billy said,"That was a rotten trick to pull on Jimmy when you know James is still alive." Axl responded,"But at least Jimmy doesn't hate James."

    Billy said,"It was still rotten of you to lie to Jimmy about."

    I deleted this quickly as it was a morbid ruse and out of line. I changed it to Axl telling Jimmy that James was hopped up on multiple painkillers and babbling incoherently and Jimmy having a casual attitude about it.

    In earlier chapters, I mentioned that Axl thought Cake Cream was a messed up ship and he was Captain of this messed up ship. Cake Cream after getting multiple cases of bad luck straight up asked Axl if they were cursed and Axl responded,"You guys are not cursed..Cursed is the Titanic that hit an iceberg, broke in half and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. You guys are nowhere as near as a Titanic Ship that hit an iceberg, broke in half, and sunk to the bottom of the ocean..You guys are more like a Series Of Unfortunate Events." Cake Cream all smiled.
    Last edited by Tasha; 03-10-2023 at 04:45 PM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  14. #394
    Tasha explained to Mr. V how she had intended to include certain things in her novella about modern times but he noted that she didn't satisfactorily explain why she didn't include them.

    Mr. V approached Axl with this conundrum.

    "Axl, why didn't Tasha include the stuff she originally wanted to include?"

    "You're right, V: that would be a lot better than the drivel she chose to run with."

    Mr. V thanked Axl for for his opinion and was welcomed; they shook hands, smiled, and dreamed of DQ strawberry blizzards.

    But then reality intruded.

    "To hell with her. Hey Axl, want to have a farting contest?"

    "You bet I do."

    Both prepared by consuming beans, cabbage and greasy tacos.

    "Ready? Let her rip."

    Soon melodious hiney-toots wafted through the air, drawing the locals to watch this once in a lifetime performance.

    V spotted Tasha in the audience (her hideous hand bag was a dead give away) and he invited her to join them; she did but couldn't pass gas.

    "Try queefing" suggested Axl; she did, and soon they were tooting "Three Blind Mice" in perfect harmony.

    "Hey, we're better than Crosby, Stills and Nash" opined Axl.

    "Shut up and keep playing" barked V.

    The performance went viral: ah, the power of influencers.

    Within a week almost all the young ladies in the world carried hideous hand bags while queefing tunefully and almost all of the young men farted in perfect harmony while shaking each others hand.

    See Tasha?

    You really CAN change the world.
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-10-2023 at 06:00 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  15. #395
    Mr. V, a lot of things I abandoned or deleted because I wasn't trying to get sued by the real Axl in real life. I doubt the real Axl in real life would be okay with me writing that he'd tell his Protege/Clients if he we're their Ship Captain he'd make them walk the plank for playing their Demos instead of songs he wrote for them. I did however make it clear that my Fictional Axl is not okay with them playing their Demos and not the songs he wrote for them and resented them for that. I don't think real life Axl would be offended by me saying my Fictional Axl resented Cake Cream playing their Demos and songs he wrote for them.

    I deleted the nasty joke my Fictional Axl pulled on Jimmy because I doubt real Axl would be okay with me writing that my Fictional Axl pulled a nasty joke like this, so I deleted it and wrote the Fictional truth that James was hopped up on multiple painkillers and babbling incoherently.. I don't think real Axl would be offended by my Fictional Axl telling Jimmy the Fictional truth, but I think he'd be offended by the nasty joke Axl pulled on Jimmy..

    About me planning to have Andy screw over Cake Cream and Axl for a lot of money, I just didn't like Andy all that much when I was developing him and liked him the least out of all Cake Cream Members, so I had him be the Villain of Cake Cream, trying to sell out Axl for $5,000. Billy is definitely my favorite Cake Cream Member and I had Billy scold Andy for attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000 and Billy paid Andy $5,000 to not turn in Axl to the Authorities. Billy is also the semi protagonist/Main star of Cake Cream and closest to Axl.


    I had Andy claim to Axl's face he was glad that Axl was their Guest when he had just said he wanted Axl out of the house and to turn him in for $5,000 to make him even more of a Villain.. planned to have all Cake Cream and Axl agree to say $20 million each for their Debut, but have Andy backstab them and try to betray them for something like 30 million. I realized I was doing Andy dirty, so I nixed the "Screw over Cake Cream and Axl for 30 Million and instead had him feel remorseful and regretful be attempted to sell out Axl for $5,000. In the next story, I had Jimmy blurt out that Andy tried to sell out Axl for $5,000, Axl and Andy had tension because of this, bit resolved it..
    Last edited by Tasha; 03-10-2023 at 06:51 PM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  16. #396
    Originally Posted by Tasha View Post
    Mr. V, a lot of things I abandoned or deleted because I wasn't trying to get sued by the real Axl in real life. I doubt the real Axl in real life would be okay with me writing that he'd tell his Protege/Clients if he we're their Ship Captain he'd make them walk the plank for playing their Demos instead of songs he wrote for them.
    "Oyez, oyez, all rise for the courtroom scene."

    Judge V took the safety off his Sig Sauer, glared at the audience and said "Proceed, and make it quick: I have a special play I'm dying to try."

    Axl stood up, pointed his finger at a dazed woman sitting next to him, and said "She lied. Need I say more?"

    He sat down; Judge V pointed at the woman and said "Stand up and explain yourself, and make it snappy."

    "Uh, well, you see..." she stammered like a six year old attempting to translate from Coptic to Greek.

    "I've heard enough" pronounced the jaded jurist; "I don't care what the law says, I don't like you and I especially don't like your hideous hand bag. You defamed Axl. Now, as to the matter of damages. Axl, how have the despicable lies spread by this nappy-headed loathsome creature damaged you?"

    Axl had to think fast, and in doing so he let fly a stealthy sphincter rattler.

    "Well judge, it's like this. Ever since she wrote those scurrilous lies little children point at me and laugh, dogs piss on my legs, and no woman will let me fuck her; hell, they won't even blow me any more."

    "The aged judge scratched his balls.

    "I rule that Tasha owes you $400 Million dollars. Tasha, pay the man or go to jail."

    Tasha reached into her oh so hideous hand bag, got out the money and paid him.

    "Judge, that's the last of my lottery winnings."

    "Tough shit, lady, now get the hell out of my court room."

    Axl thanked judge V and was welcomed; they shook hands as Axl slipped the crooked barrister his prearranged cut of the payment.

    "Justice was served" pronounced the broken-winged legal eagle, "And it serves her right. That hand bag...there ought to be a law."
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-10-2023 at 07:21 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  17. #397
    Axl and Cake Cream chilled at the luxurious Penthouse Suite and went to sleep.

    When they awoke, Cake Cream and Axl ate and got ready for the day.

    SNL called Axl's cellphone and wondered if Cake Cream was interested in performing as the Musical Guests. Axl told SNL to hold on and they did. He asked Cake Cream if they were interested in being Musical Guests for SNL in a couple of days.

    James, Jimmy, Mike, and Andy were all up for this, but Billy was apprehensive. Axl pointed out SNL would be one of the safest places to perform. James, Andy, Mike, and Jimmy all backed up Axl and Billy was like,"Okay, I'm in. Everyone smiled. Axl went back to the SNL phone call and told them they were all in. SNL was happy and Axl and SNL chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.

    Cake Cream and Axl all practiced for the SNL show. SNL called each Cake Cream Member and they all chatted about the plans.

    They chilled until it was the day of the SNL show. Axl begged Cake Cream not to do anything shocking or controversial like ripping up a picture of Jesus or The President. They all agreed not to do anything shocking or controversial. Axl smiled. They ate and got ready for the day. They took a LYFT to Miami International Airport and were processed at the airport and flew to New York City, having a luxurious first class experience and were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. In New York, they did some sightseeing and ate, just having fun.

    Soon it was almost time for the SNL show. They took a LYFT to SNL Building and practiced and did soundcheck. SNL started and when it was time for them to perform, they went on and performed the very upbeat All The Right Words, the biggest Cake Cream song ever. They were really good and the Audience went wild, cheering happily. They couldn't believe in a good way that they were performing on SNL, one of the biggest platforms to be performing on. The All The Right Words SNL performance was a huge hit.

    SNL show continued and then it was time for their second song. They performed The Hurt Song, a slow and melancholy ballad of hurt and pain. They were really good. The Audience loved this too. They cheered wildly. After the final call, Cake Cream and Axl took a bow to more wild cheering. SNL was soon over.

    Cake Cream and Axl went to a secure penthouse suite in New York City and ate, chilled and fell asleep. When they woke up, they got ready for the day and ate and went to New York City international airport and got processed and went on a luxurious first class flight back to Miami International Airport and got processed and took a LYFT back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite in the Local Marriott and unpacked and slept.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  18. #398
    The following morning the band members were all chatting over breakfast at McDonalds about how much they loved performing on TV.

    Axl had an idea: "Would you like to perform on TV again?"

    The band waved their hands, said yes, and asked "Where?"

    "It'll be a surprise."

    They returned to their sumptuous suite and played a brutal game of Go Fish while Axl rummaged through his luggage, looking for ... "Ah, I found it."

    Axl removed a plastic ring from the Cracker Jack box he'd originally found it in (Whoa, what a prize !) and gathered the group around him in the living room.

    "OK boys, gather in a circle, arms around one another. Tap your heels together three times while saying "There's no place like home."

    They did, but Axl secretly smiled knowing that their actions made no difference, the key was the plastic Cracker Jack ring.

    Axl rubbed the ring and said the magic words: "$1.5 million dollar VP jackpot" when WHAM, lights flashed, thunder peeled, and all the band members let loose with involuntary flatulence and a few surprisingly productive Hershey squirts.

    The smoke (and stench) soon cleared and the band found themselves on a sound stage of a TV program, but the equipment was very old and out of date; the clothing and hair of the workers was as well; where were they?

    The host of the show came over to see just who and what had just popped out of the sky and appeared on his set...

    Name:  MV5BMjE1NDA0NTg3Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNzQyNDQ2._V1_.jpg
Views: 161
Size:  26.6 KB

    "Are these guys the Beatles?" he asked the stage manager?
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-12-2023 at 11:32 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  19. #399
    Mr. V, your Parody and mentioning the Beatles isn't far from the truth. Cake Cream is closest to the Beatles for real, although they are a unique and first generation sound.

    Cake Cream isn't the new Guns N'Roses, they're more like the New Beatles.
    Last edited by Tasha; 03-13-2023 at 12:45 AM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  20. #400
    Ed Sullivan squinted myopically at the members of Cake Cream and said "you're on next, boys." and they were: a drum kit, guitars, mikes and amps were all in place on the sound stage.

    "3,2,1, LIVE" said the studio boss, and Ed told the TV audience "All right America, here is what you all want to see...THE BEATLES."

    Neither Axl nor any of the band members heard this intro, they were on stage and had been told to wait for their cue: it came.

    Cake Cream played their one huge, monster hit and ... the audience did not react, other than to grumble and express puzzlement, and then: "These aren't the Beatles" came howling from all directions, as did chairs, cushions, half-eaten hamburgers and even a feces-caked gerbil.

    A disgruntled teenybopper was so incensed that she farted loudly and then doused herself with gas and set herself on fire, a fire which soon spread.

    "Oh shit, this is like the Great White fire " yelled Axl.

    "Got any marshmallows?" asked James.

    The band watched as Ed Sullivan went up in flames, then they beat a hasty retreat to the local DQ.

    Over strawberry blizzards they thanked Axl for such a strange experience, and he welcomed them, shook their hands, and said "tomorrow it's Lawrence Welk; you guys better work on your champagne music. A one, and a two, and a..."
    Last edited by MisterV; 03-13-2023 at 06:04 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

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