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Thread: Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

  1. #261
    Cake Cream and Axl chilled until the next day.



    The next day, Axl called both Izzy and Steven and told them to wear motorcycle helmets and bulletproof vests. They agreed. Axl told them both he couldn't wait to see them at tonight's Wild Guns Show. They told him they couldn't wait to see him too. They all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



    W got Cake Cream and Axl more Wild Guns tickets and they got ready for the Wild Guns Show. They went.



    At the Venue, Steven and Izzy were there and Wild Guns were there too.



    W looked at Steven and Izzy in shock.



    "What the hell are you guys doing here?" W asked confused.



    Axl hadn't told W that he was planning on having Izzy and Steven come to see Wild Guns. W was completely blindsided.



    Cake Cream scolded Axl for not telling W that he planned on Steven and Izzy showing up at Wild Guns.



    Even W was like,"Axl, you should have told me that you were planning on Izzy and Steven show up tonight. Izzy and Steven blushed.



    Axl said,"Okay, I should have told you, but the fact that Steven and Izzy actually showed up shows they are willing to bury the hatchet. " Steven and Izzy admitted they wanted to bury the hatchet.



    W was like,"Okay, Steven and Izzy can stay. I want the hatchet buried too." He smiled.



    Steven and Izzy smiled happily.



    Soon, Sam, Patrick, Dean, Matthew, Kenny, Thomas(Wild Water) and Slash, Melissa, Frank, Richard, Dizzy, and Duff(Guns N'Roses) showed up to the Venue. They were surprised to see Steven and Izzy there. The situation was explained and Axl got more scolding for not telling the rest of Guns N'Roses and Wild Water that Steven and Izzy were coming, but it was quickly forgiven.



    Steven and Izzy were welcomed warmly by all of Guns N'Roses, Wild Water, Axl and Cake Cream. They humbly accepted. Steven, Izzy, Wild Water, Guns N'Roses practiced and sounded good.



    It was soon time for the show.



    The Wild Guns Show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and sounded good.



    Izzy and Steven came wearing their motorcycle helmets and Audience Members wondered who the two new Members were. W said,"Here are a couple of old Friends who decided to come back to us!" Steven and Izzy removed their motorcycle helmets briefly and smiled. The audience cheered wildly, happy to see Steven and Izzy back in Guns N'Roses and with Wild Guns. Steven and Izzy put back their motorcycle helmets and played with Wild Guns. They all sounded good. The Audience cheered wildly more. W asked Izzy and Steven if they wanted to be part of Wild Guns and Wild Guns were all okay with this idea. Izzy and Steven blushed and agreed. Wild Guns were all happy.



    Cake Cream and Axl were glad that Izzy and Steven were now part of Wild Guns.



    The Audience liked this too.



    The Wild Guns and Steven and Izzy show continued and was really good and the final sendoff happened to wild cheering. The show was soon over.



    After the Show, Axl was thanked for asking Steven and Izzy to show up at Wild Guns Show tonight. Axl shyly blushed and Cake Cream were happy. So were Steven, Izzy, and all of Wild Guns.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

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  2. #262
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    Axl had tired of living in this day and time so he fired up his wayback machine and went back to Bethlehem; it was christmas day.

    He popped into existence in a manger; a scamming whore named Mary and her pimp Joey were stunned initially but soon had a plan.

    "Hey man, you came out of nowhere...you must be an angel."

    Axl was choking on the smell of sheep shit but he managed "Billy says I am angelic."

    "Good enough; now, get in that cage."

    They caged him, put the cage on an ass-drawn cart, and displayed him around town; it was claimed he was an angel.

    Soon a cult started and the cult grew until it became the ultimate mindfuck; people swore they saw his face in their porridge, and that their prayers in his name were answered.

    Eventually he was let out of his cage; he entertained the yokels with Guns 'n Roses tunes, sans guitar: he tried a lute but it didn't gel.

    He thanked the whore and her pimp and they told him he was welcome.
    What, Me Worry?

  3. #263
    After the Show, they went to Olive Garden to celebrate Izzy and Steven being in Guns N'Roses/Wild Water.



    They ordered pasta and chicken dishes, and the unlimited soup, salad and bread sticks and champagne and black tie cheesecake.



    W and Axl both looked at Steven and Izzy deeply and both mentioned how happy Steven and Izzy were in Guns N'Roses again. Steven and Izzy were glad they were both back in Guns N'Roses. All of Cake Cream, Wild Water, the rest of Guns N'Roses were happy too. All 21 people were happy. They had a nice dinner. They paid and left.



    Cake Cream and Axl went home. They got ready for bed and went to sleep.



    They woke up the next morning and ate and got ready for the day. They watched TV and watched Court TV. They were airing the first Axl Rose verses Brian Washington Court Hearing.



    Cake Cream and Axl watched Axl's panicked face when Brian's Lawyer mentioned that Cake Cream released The New Song during Axl's time as a Fugitive. They also watched Axl panic when Brian's Lawyer planned to put Cake Cream on the stand to question if they hid Axl during any of his time as a Fugitive.



    Cake Cream and Axl knew on Social Media Axl's panicking would be questioned.



    And they were right. On Social Media, there were questioning of Axl's panicking during those moments.



    Axl responded, "I was on the run for only a couple of days. I panicked because I had briefly mixed up the days in my head and I then remembered that I definitely wasn't with Cake Cream during my time as a Fugitive. I was living on the streets alone until the day I turned myself in. Cake Cream backed up Axl.



    Posters on Social Media questioned how Axl could mix up the days.



    Axl responded,"It kind of felt like the Agent from Men In Black used the "Memory Loss," Lazer Pen on me.



    Posters responded,"Do you mean the Neuralyzer?"



    Axl responded,"Yes."



    Fans were skeptical, but decided to let this drop.



    Cake Cream and Axl were relieved. Axl had lied under Oath when he claimed that Cake Cream didn't hide him during his time as a Fugitive and that he was living alone during his time as a Fugitive. That was Perjury and was legally punishable. Also, Cake Cream could be legally punished for hiding Axl during his time as a Fugitive. Axl didn't want Cake Cream to be in trouble, so he protected them by claiming he was living alone during his time as a Fugitive and Cake Cream didn't hide him. They had all decided to keep this their little secret.



    Cake Cream were so grateful to have Axl as their Friend and Manager. Andy felt knots of guilt about attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000. He was grateful that Axl forgave him. He knew other People in Axl's position would have permanently ended their Friendship over that. Andy guiltily smiled at Axl.



    Axl questioned why Andy was smiling at him like that and Andy admitted he still felt guilty over attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000.



    Axl said," I know you feel guilty. What you did was in the past and you promised me you'd never attempt to sell me out or anyone else again. It was an impulsive decision that you feel awful about I already forgave you."



    Andy smiled a much more relieved smile. He thanked Axl for forgiving him. Axl welcomed him.



    Cake Cream and Axl chatted more.



    Axl went to his room and Stuart called Axl's Cellphone.



    Axl was grateful to chat with his younger(Now older) Brother.



    Stuart was like,"It's really good to be talking with you, Axl."



    Axl responded,"I'm glad we're talking too.



    Stuart mentioned how weird it was that Axl was YOUNGER than him.



    Axl responded,"I know, but it's happening. I'm just glad you, Amy, and W are still alive.



    Stuart smiled and told him he loved him. Axl responded he loved him too. Axl was glad he could talk to his Brother. Stuart was grateful too.



    They chatted for a long while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



    Axl was happy. He had a great Family in 2022. Billy was his Boyfriend, he had Amy and Stuart as his actual Brother and Sister, he had W as a "Father," Andy, Mike, James, and Jimmy were kind of his adopted Brothers, he had the rest of Guns N'Roses as his adopted Sister and Brothers, and he had Wild Water as adopted Brothers too. Life was good to Axl in 2022.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

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  4. #264
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    Axl was making Cambrick tea when there was a loud knock on the door: ! "IRS."

    "Uh-oh" flashed in his mind; "they must have found out that I never filed any tax returns and never paid a dime of income tax."

    It was "fight or flight:" he opted to flee.

    The only exit was out the second floor kitchen window: Axl made a split second decision and ran and leaped through the window, using his arms out front like a battering ram.

    He landed roughly on some shrubs and noticed his right arm was now missing.

    Looking back, he saw it stuck in the broken glass where it had been severed.

    "Not good" he mused.

    Axl wrapped his belt around his stump and hobbled off into the night, sans his right arm.

    "Who needs it anyway?" he rationalized; "I can still jerk off."

    A neighborhood dog took umbrage to his presence and bit his leg; Axl shook his paw and thanked him and Fido barked "Woof" which is dog-speak for "You're welcome."

    Axl espied a DQ in the distance and smiled, thinking "this really is my lucky day."
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-03-2023 at 12:15 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  5. #265
    They got ready for bed and went to sleep. The next day, they woke up and got ready for the day. Cake Cream had a Show today and they practiced for the show. The Venue was next to a man made lake that had no living organisms in it, just lake water



    They went to the Venue and it was a good show but all of a sudden, Axl said,"Security, grab that item from that guy in the first row in the third seat wearing a checkered red shirt and blue pants. " Security didn't do anything, so Axl said,"I'll take it, God damnit!"



    And ran off stage and to the front row and went to the third seat in the front row and grabbed the item from the guy wearing the checkered red shirt and blue pants. He looked at the item and saw he had about 10 minutes. He said,"I'll be right back in about 10 minutes!"



    He ran out the venue and couldn't defuse the BOMB as he was no Bomb expert. He threw the bomb into the man made lake and ran like a trackstar back to the Venue and the show continued.

    The guy he had taken the bomb from had left. In a couple of moments, the bomb had went off into the man made lake and it looked like a hurricane had went off in that lake. Cakers were surprised.



    Axl lightheartedly said something like,"Looks like a Hurricane hit the lake early in May!" Cakers and Cake Cream were stunned.



    The Show continued and the final sendoff happened and after the Show ended, Cakers and Cake Cream and Axl looked at the lake that had been bombed. The bomb hadn't caused any outside flooding, the water had stayed in the lake.



    Axl was asked what happened and he admitted that he threw the bomb he got from the Concert goer into the man made lake as he had about 10 minutes for it before it went off. He was no Bomb expert, so he threw it in the water. Axl and Cake Cream were allowed to go home. They went home.



    Already this thing went viral on YouTube and other Social Media.



    The Police had issued an arrest Warrant for the guy who had brought the bomb. He was found a couple of hours later. He was brought in for questioning and admitted he planned to bomb Cake Cream and Axl and then run off after throwing the bomb at them.



    Cake Cream and Axl were understandably horrified and unsettled.



    Axl suggested they stop doing live Cake Cream shows as this was just too much. Axl getting shot multiple times with Billy being the intended Victim, and some Creep attempting to fucing BOMB them.



    Cake Cream pointed out mockingly," We're working for the Fans, remember that."



    Axl was like,"They'd understand if we stop live shows after someone almost bombed us on purpose."



    Cake Cream admitted Axl had a solid point. They decided they should stop live shows. It was just too dangerous now.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

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  6. #266
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    Inspector Clousseau sipped his cafe au lait, twisted his moustache and asked the shackled prisoner "What is your name?"

    "My name Jose JImenez" replied the sultry bomber.

    The inspector, dolt though he may have been, realized he was being lied to and he didn't like it.

    "That is not your name; tell me your real name or things will go badly for you."

    "Puddin tame, ask me again and I'll tell you the same."

    That did it; the angry detective slapped the cuffed wisecracker repeatedly.

    But then Clousseau saw that the man's wallet was on the adjoining table; he opened it and discovered the man's name: Bill Yung.

    "Oh, you're that crazy fucker from Canada; one of the least liked posters on the internet."

    "People just don't understand, I have a beautiful mind."

    Clousseau knew what to do with that "beautiful mind:" he had a doctor come in and give the prisoner a shot of Haldol and a sedative.

    "Throw him in the loony bin with that Singer guy; birds of a feather can shit their nest together."

    He smiled, and the nutcase shook his hand and thanked him.
    What, Me Worry?

  7. #267
    Nathan and Karen Kentry were your average childless middle-aged black couple. They worked for a secret government agency, in a nondescript gray commie block style building, where they punched in at 9 and out at 5 and in between they posted mindless drivel on obscure forums. Stories about time-traveling singers on gambling forums, posts about expressing a dog's anal glands on a crochet forum, questions about casino gambling on a forum for Christmas tree farmers, complaints about getting banned from mathematics forums on a forum dedicated to complaining about popular TV commercials. What was it all for?

    After a typical day at work on a Monday like any other, Nathan suggested to his wife that they go out for Chinese.

    "I hate Chinese. Last week I wrote 144 pages of fan fiction about Gene Simmons being reincarnated as a Mexican laborer working at a Chinese restaurant on an Australian forum about urban composting." said Karen as she rolled her eyes.

    "I can beat that," Nathan replied. "Today I created 32 sock puppets on a forum about Shetland ponies and I made them argue about whether Jewel Kilcher or Katy Perry would win paper-rock-scissors."

    "Let's just order in no-contact pizza, babe." Karen sighed.

    Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Who the hell was visiting Nathan and Karen at this hour? They had no friends in Miami, and both their families lived off-grid in the Everglades. Nathan spied through the peep hole. It was Gene Simmons and Jewel Kilcher on a Shetland pony playing rock-paper-scissors. Curious, Nathan opened the door.

    "May I help you?" he asked timidly.

    "Are you Nathan and Karen Kentry?" they asked in unison.

    Nathan nodded slowly without blinking. Nervous and shaking, he ripped a fart that was reminiscent of pizza and Chinese.

    "Come with us if you want to live."

  8. #268
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    Yung was thrown head-first into the dank pit; he landed on the crumpled form of Rob Singer.

    The stench of loss permeated the air to a redolent degree.

    Soon the two loonies were actively chatting back and forth, neither making a lick of sense and neither one noticing.

    "I owned this prison once but put it in my kid's name to avoid probate" said Rob.

    "That's nothing; I'm the secret king of the world, and the numbers prove it" smirked the fucked canuck.

    "Oh yeah? Well, I sold a Newell RV to an Israeli secret agent, a guy I once knew when I was CIA chief of station in Moscow" claimed the demented VP player. "Oh, and did I tell you how I secretly won one and a half million dollars recently playing video poker?"

    "I yield to you, sir: surely my accomplishments pale in comparison."

    "Yeah, and my dick is a lot longer and thicker than yours, I have more money and guns than you, I drive a faster car than you..."

    The loon continued to spout inanities while the northern pike counted his fingers and toes.

    "Don't forget the double up bug..." but by that time Yung was catatonic.
    What, Me Worry?

  9. #269
    Axl and Cake Cream announced on Social Media that live Cake Cream Shows would stop after that bomb was meant to go off on them.



    Fans were disappointed, but understood that Cake Cream and Axl's lives had been in danger and also their own. That bomb could have gone off and killed everyone inside while the Creep could have run off into the ether after throwing that bomb. Fans were grateful that Axl saved their lives. Cake Cream was also grateful that Axl saved their lives. Axl blushed shyly and thanked them and was welcomed.



    They ate and got ready for bed and went to sleep.



    The next day, they woke up and are and got ready for the day. They couldn't believe they made the decision to stop doing live Cake Cream Shows.



    Claven Records called them and told them they were making a risky decision by stopping live Cake Cream shows, but understood it was a wise decision as they nearly all got blown up. Claven Records expressed their sympathy to Cake Cream and Axl and were thanked and they welcomed them. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



    A Police Officer once again knocked on the door and asked them if they wanted to press charges on Maxwell Nichols, the guy who tried to bomb them. They all said yes. The Police Officer gave them Maxwell's Court Date which was tomorrow. They thanked the Police Officer and he welcomed them and he soon left. They chilled for the day and the next day, they woke up, ate, and got ready for the Court Hearing. They went early and we're all processed and went to the Court room. The Bailiff had his gun hidden. Axl and Cake Cream smiled.



    Maxwell Nichols soon arrived and was glaring at Cake Cream and Axl. He had handcuffs on.



    The Judge asked Maxwell why he tried to bomb Axl and Cake Cream.



    Maxwell replied,"Because they put my Cousin, John Wilson in jail!"



    The Judge asked Cake Cream and Axl if they wanted to press charges against Maxwell and they all said yes.



    Maxwell pleaded guilty to attempted Murder and the Judge ordered him to be immediately transferred to another State Prison on the West Coast, in a California Prison. He was escorted out.



    Cake Cream and Axl were relieved. Maxwell was going to California where he wouldn't be able to attempt to Murder them.



    They left the Courthouse and went to a nearby restaurant and had a nice lunch. After lunch, they went home and relaxed.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

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  10. #270
    Nathan and Karen got on the Shetland pony with Gene Simmons and Jewel Kilcher and to their surprise, the pony sprouted wings like a pegasus and took off into the evening sky. As they flew, Jewel explained what was going on.

    "You guys think you work for the government, but actually you work for a nefarious criminal organization called Terminally Addicted Slot Harlots Association, or T.A.S.H.A. for short." she explained. She lifted a cheek to pass audible gas for 3.5 seconds before continuing, "TASHA is hell bent on ruining the internet for everyone. That's why you are paid to shit post constantly."

    Nathan and Karen were flabbergasted. Then Gene explained further, "We represent an organization that works to stop TASHA. We discovered that high level personalities that control TASHA have a weakness for certain kinds of bland has-been music, specifially Armenian xylophone lullabies, or A.X.L. for short. We deploy AXL to incapaci--"

    Karen interrupted Gene just as he was about to explain how they used AXL to defeat TASHA, "This is nuts Nathan. We must be high and hallucinating all this shit." And to prove it, she grabbed her husband's hand and leaped from the pony mid-air. Unfortunately, the pony, Gene, Jewel, and gravity were all very very real. Karen and Nathan landed on top of a station wagon in a DQ parking lot, dying instantly on impact. Gene was about to land the pony to inspect the gruesome scene when Jewel stopped him. "No, it's too late. Besides, they were two of the most prolific spammers at TASHA. It's for the best."

  11. #271
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    While being escorted through the courthouse to the jail, Maxwell and the bailiffs passed the courthouse vendor.

    Clever lad, Maxwell was able to grab a donut and throw it in front of the officers, saying "Who wants it?"

    Both dived for it like Acapulco cliff divers, allowing Max the opportunity to flee: he fled.

    Max returned to his lair, removed the cuffs, and plotted his next move.

    After a few hits of good weed he went to his tool box, picked out his chosen weapon and hopped on his e-bike.

    It was a dark and humid night; on cat's feet (ouch) he crept to Cake Cream's house, jimmied a window and snuck in; he quietly went upstairs to their bedroom.

    All of the members of Cake Cream were bare-ass naked, asleep on a floor covered with white polar bear fur: very pretty but damned sticky.

    No stranger to the aftermath of circle jerks, Max was not bothered at all, so he proceeded to "go to work..."

    In short order his silver hammer was covered with gore.

    A fatally wounded Axl stared lovingly at Max through his blood draped eyes, mouthing "thank you" and offering Max his hand; Max shook it, said "You're welcome" and then smashed the hand, one finger at a time.

    "Bomb 'em or bash 'em, it's all the same to me" he mused.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-04-2023 at 11:45 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  12. #272
    Mr. V, I clearly said that Maxwell has HANDCUFFS on! You can't grab donuts with HANDCUFFS on! :/
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

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  13. #273
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    Originally Posted by Tasha View Post
    Mr. V, I clearly said that Maxwell has HANDCUFFS on! You can't grab donuts with HANDCUFFS on!


    Of course you can.

    Sheesh, you don't get out much, do you?

    You're so fucking dense I better explain how he did it.

    In a nutshell: the donut was displayed on the counter's edge; when in close proximity he quickly spun his body so that his cuffed paws could and did grab and then fling the loathesome concoction.

    Besides, you've set the bar of believability quite low indeed when you introduced time travel and doppelgangers: now ANYTHING is possible in Tasha's universe of woe.

    Quit whining and post more drivel, my creative juices are simply oozing...
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-04-2023 at 02:10 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  14. #274
    Natashathan pushed down one slat of her miniblinds to check if the man was still outside. He was. She had turned off all the lights in the house, save for the light inside the toaster oven where she was cooking a single serving no-contact boxed pizza. She farted softly. The man stood stock still about 5 yards from the house, directly across from her bedroom window. His face was obscured by a garrish plastic Axl Rose Halloween mask and a cheap costume wig. His left arm dangled at his side, his right held an ominous red helium balloon on a string.

    She stepped away from the window to attend to her pizza. When she came back to the window with a greasy paper plate in hand she gulped before pushing down the slat again. There he was, 2 yards closer and now holding 2 helium balloons. Natashathan screamed with all her breath, "What do you want???"

    Suddenly her phone vibrated. There was a new text message from an unknown number. It read, "boo." She looked again and there he was now a mere foot away from the window. In both hands he held dozens of helium balloons. She had never been more scared in her life and instinctively took a huge bite of her pizza to comfort herself. Unfortunately it was too big, and she began to choke. With no one in the house to perform the Heimlich maneuver, she perished.

    THE END

  15. #275
    Axl wondered what they would do now now that Cake Cream live shows stopped.



    He declared an emergency Family Meeting.



    Jimmy, James, Mike, Andy, and Billy all came to the emergency Family Meeting like they should.



    Axl said, "We're in a tough decision now. We are going to lose a lot of revenue without those $25 a ticket live shows. Let's discuss ways on how to still generate revenue."



    Jimmy said,"We can make a brand new album and sell it to Claven Records.



    Axl responded, "We just released Bronze Cake. Making a new album so soon might be overkill."



    Mike said,"We can sell All The Right Words to movie Soundtracks, commercials, TV Shows, etc.



    Axl responded,"I like that idea, but we should listen to more ideas.



    Billy responded, "We can beg Claven Records for money."



    Axl responded,"We're wealthier than Claven Records."



    James responded," We can sell merchandise with Cake Cream logo on it." Axl responded," Fans might like that."

    Andy responded, "We can buy Gold as the price of gold dropped considerably with the Bronze Frenzy fad. We can then sell it once the Bronze Frenzy fad is over and gold is high again."



    Axl said,"That's a good idea, Andy, but we should hear more ideas."



    Axl and Cake Cream chatted more and they were all like,"What are we talking about? We're the wealthiest Band in the whole world!" We should go have fun with our riches!"



    They decided to go book a vacation to Hawaii. They got ready to go to the Airport and went. At the Airport, they bought 6 first class last minute tickets to Hawaii and had a luxurious first class experience again. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.



    The plane landed in Honolulu International Airport and they took a LYFT to the local Marriott and made last minute bookings. Billy and Axl shared a room and James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy each had their own rooms. They settled in and got ready for bed and went to sleep. Their rooms were all luxurious.



    The next day, the did some sightseeing in Hawaii. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. They had fun. They went back to their hotel and ordered Room Service and ate, drank, and chilled. They went to the in hotel Nightclub and they went to see the Headliners performing.



    Holy crap! The headliners were performing Cake Cream songs!



    Cake Cream and Axl were flattered and amused. This was literally the first Band to do Cake Cream Tributes.



    The Headliners noticed Cake Cream and Axl and were like,"Cake Cream and Axl are here! We had no idea you guys were here! Wow!"



    The Audience was happy to see Cake Cream and Axl. Cake Cream and Axl blushed. Their Fans loved them and there was even a Band playing tribute to them. They had fun at the nightclub.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

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  16. #276
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    The final set was about over; Axl found himself staring at a huge palmetto bug (or was it a cockroach?) that perched on Billy's shoulder.

    Axl realized that he was really worried about not having a stream of income, given his fondness for strawberry blizzards and original Renoirs.

    He recalled the things he'd done in the past to make money: trapping and selling cats to the Chinese cooks was always an option but couldn't yield the profits he wanted; similarly, letting wealthy, fat men piss on him, while both enjoyable and profitable, got a bit old and soggy.

    What to do?

    He chatted with an older, swarthy, mysterious looking sort of fellow at the next table and decided to ask for advice; "What is the best way for us to make money?"

    Without batting an eye the man smiled like a Cheshire cat and said "I can take you there."

    Axl was impressed; he shook his hand and thanked him for offering to show him the way, and the man welcomed him.

    "Now, here's what you do" said the fellow.

    "Gamble. Gamble feverishly. Gamble while adopting the right superstitions, that's what I do. Why, a couple months ago I won $1.5M on just one pull of the video poker handle."

    Not as stupid as he looked, Axl responded "But what about the house edge?"

    "Do I look like I let that bother me?"

    Axl thought that no, he didn't seem to let the house edge bother him.

    "Please tell me more" said Axl while watching the huge bug climb into and nest in Billy's flowing mane.

    He was told more, then smiled again, shook the man's hand, and promised to meet him the next morning for a hearty breakfast of kipper fish.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-05-2023 at 01:27 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  17. #277
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    'Twas morning in Maui.

    Axl completed his ablutions by hitting himself hard in the balls, the way his father did it when he was a boy: who needs annoying hormonal distractions?

    The swarthy fellow was already seated in the restaurant, reading a dog-eared copy of "Mein Kampf" and sipping kombucha.

    Axl ordered his usual breakfast of kipper fish and V-8 tomato cocktail and then they got down to business.

    "To win at gambling you need to out-think the machines" claimed the swarthy wannabe Nazi, "and I do that with my "special plays."

    "Your what?"

    "Special plays. I could tell you what they are but I'd rather show you."

    As casino gambling was unavailable in Hawaii, and as the stranger had an appointment with an ED specialist in thirty minutes, they cut their chat short, exchanged contact info, and agreed to meet at a Miami casino to continue Axl's edification.

    Axl smiled, shook hands, thanked his companion, snd was thanked in return.

    Watching the man walk away from the table Axl wondered: "How is it that this guy leaves a slime trail behind him?"
    Last edited by MisterV; Yesterday at 11:35 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  18. #278
    After the nightclub, they went back to a Luau and ate some pork, fries, and drank Pina colada right out of a coconut. They had fun and then went back to their hotel rooms and got ready for bed. Axl and Billy snuggled close to each other, making out, enjoying each other's company. They soon fell asleep.



    The next day, Cake Cream and Axl woke up, ate Room Service food and drink and got ready for the day.



    They watched the News and Allison was suing Jimmy and James for Rape, and hoping to win $50 million from them each. Oh no. The Court Date was for TOMORROW. SHAIT!



    Axl and Cake Cream had to make last minute flights back to Florida. They made the bookings and had a luxurious, but nervous first class experience again.



    In Florida, they practiced hard for Allison's lawsuit against Jimmy and James. Axl knew Jimmy and James didn't rape Allison.



    Axl was their Lawyer. After practicing, they decided to talk about what a nasty Person Allison really was.



    They ate and got ready for bed. They went to sleep.



    The next day, they woke up, ate, and got ready for the day.



    They left to go to the Courthouse.



    They got there early. They were processed.



    Soon, Allison and her Lawyer came. Allison glared at Jimmy and James. They glared at her back.



    Soon, Court was in Session and Allison claimed James and Jimmy traumatized her for life when they forced themselves on her against her will and she said $100 Million would help heal the scars.



    Her Lawyer said,"My Client was a happy, cheerful person until Jimmy and James stole that from her. She's a broken bird. The least they can do is pay the $100 million to her.



    James and Jimmy both said they didn't rape Allison and she was lying.



    Axl said,"I'd like to cross examine Allison."



    The Judge allowed Axl to cross examine Allison.



    Axl walked up to Allison and said," Allison, you say that James and Jimmy raped you. Is that right?"



    Allison said,"That's right. They raped me on May 1st." Allison cried in a bad acting way."



    Axl said, "James was in the hospital on May 1st all day after Jimmy attacked him with the guitar. There are hospital records to back this up."



    Allison begun to stutter knowing she was caught in a lie.



    Allison's Lawyer said,"Objection! Mr. Rose is badgering my Client with hostility!"



    The Judge overruled the objection, pointing out Axl was not badgering Allison with hostility.



    Axl continued,"You took an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Perjury is a serious crime and you can face serious punishment for committing perjury. Jimmy and James could even countersue you for defamation and libel. In some jurisdictions, lying about a crime is grounds to being punished for the same amount the criminal would get. Wanna try telling the truth?"



    Allison burst into real tears and broke down and admitted that Jimmy and James didn't rape her, she just wanted $100 Million and revenge against Jimmy and James for both dumping her. She begged Jimmy and James to not countersue her. The Judge shook his head in disgust.



    Jimmy and James both were like,"We just want your ass out of our lives for good!"



    Axl smirked. The Judge dismissed the Lawsuit against Jimmy and James.



    Allison was sentenced to a year in jail for perjury, libel, and false accusations. And forced to sign a restraining order forbidding her from ever contacting James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, Andy, and Axl ever again. She was taken into Custody.



    Jimmy and James were beyond happy that Axl saved them from Allison's frivolous lawsuit. Andy, Mike and Billy were also happy. Axl and Cake Cream took last minute luxurious first class flights back to Hawaii and went back to their Hawaiian Hotel and ate, drank, and chilled. They were very happy.
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  19. #279
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    Axl's phone rang; he wiped the cum off his fingers and answered.

    "Axl, this is judge V; get down here immediately."

    Axl cleaned off his "dirty Sanchez" moustache, dressed, then shook Billy's member and received a welcome spurt in return.

    His Vespa purred enroute to the courthouse: what could be the problem?

    "Axl, you obviously didn't learn your lesson last time you were before me; remember I had you jailed for a month for the unauthorized practice of law? Hell, I even had my boys work you over a bit just so you got the message, but the message appears to have fallen on deaf ears."

    Judge V glowered at Axl, who had a smirk on his face.

    "Judge V, I have his power of attorney so I AM his attorney; "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

    The judge lifted then slammed down the copy of "Zen Flesh, Zen Bones" he kept on the bench, then bellowed "Bailiff !"

    The two Katzenjammer twins came in, festooned with donut crumbs: "This man is obviously insane; send him to the mental asylum."

    En route to the mental asylum Axl hummed, smiled, and shook his own hand.

    They arrived.

    Axl was processed and placed in a double occupancy cell; it had a rank odor and a piss covered floor.

    A man was curled up on the lower bunk; he looked up at his new room mate: Axl smiled broadly when he saw it was the swarthy fellow from Maui.

    "Are you ready to win?" the drooling room mate asked.

    Axl shook his hand, saying "You bet" and his education began...
    Last edited by MisterV; Today at 12:23 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

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