Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[MisterV]

The year was 2007; the place: the Miami ghetto .

Sasha shit the flo' then smiled as his mammie grabbed a mop, grumbling as usual about how a grown man should have learned how to use the toilet by now.

"But mammie, I and I is not a man, I and I be a woman in a man's body."

Sasha smoothed the pleats in the black cocktail dress he wore, readjusted his wig, and said "now mammie, when you be done here I and I wants you to do my homework a-'gin as always fo' school...someday 'wit yo help I and I be de best drug store clerk in de 'hood."

Poor suffering mammie went online to Miami Dade and slowly pecked out the answers to her son's daily instruction packet; she turned to google for help every time.

Sasha told his mammie: "Mammie, when I and I gets me a 'ploma I and I be changin' my name to Tasha. You best send one o' dem mails to de Dean and tells ''em 'dat."

Mammie clenched her teeth: it was a battle she couldn't win.

"Chile, evah since you gots outta prison you been sayin' you be a lady but you never said why you thinks 'dat is what you is."

Sasha shuddered at the memory of his time in prison: the boredom, the humiliation, the bleeding rectum.

"Prisom made me de man, I means de woman I and I is today, and 'dat be 'dat. Now where be 'dat box o' Church's Chicken?"

[MHF]

1334 = 1 + (43 x 31)

1912 = 1 + (21 x 91)

2337 = 1 + (73 x 32)

8919 = 1 + (91 x 98)

Those are nice, but, I try to limit myself to the most basic recreational thus math equations, etc., and, to a few of the numerals of my theory of everything. To try to understand the mechanics of it, by connecting them. Say, as by the following.

144648 = (861 X 168) = (492 X 294) = {[(41 + 43) - 2] X 42^2} = {(41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X [(-3 + 5) X (-1 + 7^2 - 3^3)]} ---> 41_43__24_42__351_173.

185472 = (672 X 276) = (384 X 483) = {[(-3^3 + 7^2 + 1) X (10 + 5 - 3)] X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)} ---> 371_153__24_42__41_43.

And,

9949716 = (3852 X 2583) = (1476 X 6741) = ((41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X {[0^2 + (-001)^03 + 5^02 + 3^2^0] X [+7^3^0 + (-10)^02 + 0]}) ---> 41_43__24_42__153_371.

16746912 = (6552 X 2556) = (4473 X 3744) = ({-(0^0^3) X -(010^2^0) X (-7) - (3 X 3) + (5^02) X (010^3) X (0^0)} X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)) ---> 173_351__24_42__41_43.



Almost 4:17

[DGenBen]

1334 = 1 + (43 x 31)

1912 = 1 + (21 x 91)

2337 = 1 + (73 x 32)

8919 = 1 + (91 x 98)

Those are nice, but, I try to limit myself to the most basic recreational thus math equations, etc., and, to a few of the numerals of my theory of everything. To try to understand the mechanics of it, by connecting them. Say, as by the following.

144648 = (861 X 168) = (492 X 294) = {[(41 + 43) - 2] X 42^2} = {(41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X [(-3 + 5) X (-1 + 7^2 - 3^3)]} ---> 41_43__24_42__351_173.

185472 = (672 X 276) = (384 X 483) = {[(-3^3 + 7^2 + 1) X (10 + 5 - 3)] X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)} ---> 371_153__24_42__41_43.

And,

9949716 = (3852 X 2583) = (1476 X 6741) = ((41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X {[0^2 + (-001)^03 + 5^02 + 3^2^0] X [+7^3^0 + (-10)^02 + 0]}) ---> 41_43__24_42__153_371.

16746912 = (6552 X 2556) = (4473 X 3744) = ({-(0^0^3) X -(010^2^0) X (-7) - (3 X 3) + (5^02) X (010^3) X (0^0)} X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)) ---> 173_351__24_42__41_43.



Almost 4:17

MHF, You know what’s odd? Every other number.

[MisterV]

With Mammie's help Sasha, now Tasha, got her certificate.

"Look mammie, it say here 'dat I and I is "competent." Cans you believes it? It be a dream."

Mammie sighed, then said "De only 'ting I and I dreams 'bout is de day you stops shittin' de flo'."

Such feedback fell on deaf ears: "I and I is gwine to de Walgreens tomorry and gets me a clerk job 'cause I and I is "competent."

Tasha gnawed on some chicken, shit on the floor, then got online to VCT.

"Now you haters calls me a porch monkey but 'dat don't bodder me none no mo' now 'dat I and I is "competent."

With that Tasha posted the Miami Dade certificate: "See 'dat? Reads it an' weeps."

The haters gnashed their teeth, moaned, and some threw up in exasperation.

[MHF]

1334 = 1 + (43 x 31)

1912 = 1 + (21 x 91)

2337 = 1 + (73 x 32)

8919 = 1 + (91 x 98)

Those are nice, but, I try to limit myself to the most basic recreational thus math equations, etc., and, to a few of the numerals of my theory of everything. To try to understand the mechanics of it, by connecting them. Say, as by the following.

144648 = (861 X 168) = (492 X 294) = {[(41 + 43) - 2] X 42^2} = {(41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X [(-3 + 5) X (-1 + 7^2 - 3^3)]} ---> 41_43__24_42__351_173.

185472 = (672 X 276) = (384 X 483) = {[(-3^3 + 7^2 + 1) X (10 + 5 - 3)] X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)} ---> 371_153__24_42__41_43.

And,

9949716 = (3852 X 2583) = (1476 X 6741) = ((41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X {[0^2 + (-001)^03 + 5^02 + 3^2^0] X [+7^3^0 + (-10)^02 + 0]}) ---> 41_43__24_42__153_371.

16746912 = (6552 X 2556) = (4473 X 3744) = ({-(0^0^3) X -(010^2^0) X (-7) - (3 X 3) + (5^02) X (010^3) X (0^0)} X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)) ---> 173_351__24_42__41_43.



Almost 4:17

MHF, You know what’s odd? Every other number.

You assume a perfection or symmetry, to the numerals, which doesn't exist. Even God is only a part of the absolute, everything/nothing. And, so, our numerals come with built-in imperfections or asymmetries.


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[pinchingyourballs]

Do you code, brah? You could do a brute force search for more palindrome equations. Here is a math puzzle: If a number is chosen at random from 1 to 10^N (inclusive) what is the probability it is a palindrome?

[DGenBen]

Those are nice, but, I try to limit myself to the most basic recreational thus math equations, etc., and, to a few of the numerals of my theory of everything. To try to understand the mechanics of it, by connecting them. Say, as by the following.

144648 = (861 X 168) = (492 X 294) = {[(41 + 43) - 2] X 42^2} = {(41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X [(-3 + 5) X (-1 + 7^2 - 3^3)]} ---> 41_43__24_42__351_173.

185472 = (672 X 276) = (384 X 483) = {[(-3^3 + 7^2 + 1) X (10 + 5 - 3)] X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)} ---> 371_153__24_42__41_43.

And,

9949716 = (3852 X 2583) = (1476 X 6741) = ((41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X {[0^2 + (-001)^03 + 5^02 + 3^2^0] X [+7^3^0 + (-10)^02 + 0]}) ---> 41_43__24_42__153_371.

16746912 = (6552 X 2556) = (4473 X 3744) = ({-(0^0^3) X -(010^2^0) X (-7) - (3 X 3) + (5^02) X (010^3) X (0^0)} X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)) ---> 173_351__24_42__41_43.



Almost 4:17

MHF, You know what’s odd? Every other number.

You assume a perfection or symmetry, to the numerals, which doesn't exist. Even God is only a part of the absolute, everything/nothing. And, so, our numerals come with built-in imperfections or asymmetries.


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It’s all relative, always, except when it isn’t.

[MHF]

144648 = (861 X 168) = (492 X 294) = {[(41 + 43) - 2] X 42^2} = {(41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X [(-3 + 5) X (-1 + 7^2 - 3^3)]} ---> 41_43__24_42__351_173.

185472 = (672 X 276) = (384 X 483) = {[(-3^3 + 7^2 + 1) X (10 + 5 - 3)] X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)} ---> 371_153__24_42__41_43.

And,

9949716 = (3852 X 2583) = (1476 X 6741) = ((41 + 43 - 2) X 42 X {[0^2 + (-001)^03 + 5^02 + 3^2^0] X [+7^3^0 + (-10)^02 + 0]}) ---> 41_43__24_42__153_371.

16746912 = (6552 X 2556) = (4473 X 3744) = ({-(0^0^3) X -(010^2^0) X (-7) - (3 X 3) + (5^02) X (010^3) X (0^0)} X (2 X 42) X (1 + 4 + 3)) ---> 173_351__24_42__41_43.

MHF, You know what’s odd? Every other number.

You assume a perfection or symmetry, to the numerals, which doesn't exist. Even God is only a part of the absolute, everything/nothing. And, so, our numerals come with built-in imperfections or asymmetries.


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It’s all relative, always, except when it isn’t.

Perhaps our universe is relative, in the macro sense, but, its complement, thus in the micro sense.

The numerals above have various connections such as (861 / 492) = (672 / 384) = (294 / 168) = (483 / 276) = (6741 / 3852) = (2583 / 1476) = (6552 / 3744) = (4473 / 2556) = 1.75 = 7 / 4 ---> 7 / (3 + 1) ---> 137 .

[DGenBen]

MHF, You know what’s odd? Every other number.

You assume a perfection or symmetry, to the numerals, which doesn't exist. Even God is only a part of the absolute, everything/nothing. And, so, our numerals come with built-in imperfections or asymmetries.


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It’s all relative, always, except when it isn’t.

Perhaps our universe is relative, in the macro sense, but, its complement, thus in the micro sense.

The numerals above have various connections such as (861 / 492) = (672 / 384) = (294 / 168) = (483 / 276) = (6741 / 3852) = (2583 / 1476) = (6552 / 3744) = (4473 / 2556) = 1.75 = 7 / 4 ---> 7 / (3 + 1) ---> 137 .

Yes our universe might be relative on the macro scale, where relativity rules, and complementary on the micro scale, where quantum mechanics and the principle of complementarity rule.

Hopefully you’re working on a unification theory between your posts here.

[MHF]

If a number is chosen at random from 1 to 10^N (inclusive) what is the probability it is a palindrome?

I think that the pattern for N=1, 2, etc., is 9, 9, 90, 90, 900, 900, etc., palindromes, ie, for 1-digit, 2-digit, 3-digit, etc., numerals, respectively. So, if N = 2*n, for even values of N, then the sum, of the number of palindromes up to (1 + 10^N=2n) progresses by (18 + 180 + 1800 + ...), which is a geometric series, given by the formula, {[a * (1 - r^n)] / (1 - r)} = {[18 * (1 - 10^n)] / (1 - 10)}.


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88 --------------------> A palindrome of vertical infinity signs.

[pinchingyourballs]

Axl woke up in the middle of the night, his heart still pounding with fear from the nightmare he had just escaped. The details were fuzzy, he vaguely recalled being in a math class at a casino where he was forced to write solutions to quadratic equations in shit on the carpet. He wiped sweat off his face with the sleeve of his Bluey pajamas. The glowing red digital display of his alarm clock read 3:04 AM. He flipped it upside down so that the numbers now looked like letters spelling "hOE." He giggled at his own joke. Then his mirth turned to dismay as he remembered that today was Billy's graduation ceremony at Miami Dade College. Billy was getting a certificate in Applied Knitting Science and for the last 3 months had applied the science of knitting to knit everyone in Cake Cream their own misshapen scarf.

With little desire to go back to sleep and fall into yet another nightmare, Axl did the sensible and headed to the kitchen to make a high-calorie snack and wash it down with strong coffee so he could take an early morning dump. To his surprise, there was a figure sitting at the breakfast nook in the dark. Another dream? The figure motioned his hand toward a plate of cheese and crackers and a mug of steaming coffee.

"Good morning Axl. I took the liberty of preparing your midnight snack. Have a seat," the figure said slowly and menacingly.

Axl obeyed and sat down across from the stranger. Now in the faint light from the window he could see the man's scarred face and shabby clothes. His hair was thin and mostly gray, but his eyes were familiar.

"How did you get in my luxurious penthouse suite at the James L. Knight Center," Axl said with his mouth full of cheese and crackers. Damn, Axl mused, whoever this cat was he sure knew how to make a very yummy snack plate. The coffee was also pretty good.

"You don't recognize me, Axl?"

The man lifted his shirt and showed Axl a scar. Axl knew that scar well, but how could it be?? Oh shit, Axl mused, another time traveler. The man raised his eyebrows beckoning Axl to say it.

"How the fuck did you get here from the future and what do you want?" Axl barked.

[MisterV]

"How did I get here? Wouldn't YOU like to know...bwa ha ha ha. Fuck that shit. Now, to the point. You are in grave danger and I have come here to warn you."

"Danger? What danger?"

"You are in danger of disappearing. You do realize don't you that your creator Karen says she won't post any more of your adventures? That means no more Denny's, no more ubering, no more nothing."

This was not good news; Axl farted intellectually, scratched his nuts, spit out a green loogie then said "But I don't WANT to die. What can I do?"

"Nothing at all can be done; it is entirely up to her."

Axl cried tears of woe and walked away, looking for a bridge to leap off of.

A sad day in Miami.

[pinchingyourballs]

Axl ruminated over the time traveler's words as he sat on the white throne to lay a long-egg. If Karen had truly abandoned him and the gang, then how was he able to sit on the toilet and enjoy his inner monologue right now, he mused. The egg came, a due to an unusually strong vasovagal response, he fainted and fell asleep on the toilet, head resting against the sink counter.

He dreamed a vivid dream like no other. The letters M, H, and F appeared as giant Canadian men, holding hands and dancing around him. They vaporized and he suddenly found himself in a hot tub with strange slavic men who had tails with stingers and pincers for hands, like scorpions. The scorpion Slavs drank chocolate milk shakes and eyed him mischievously and winked at him, but otherwise made no movement in the hot tub. Axl scrambled out and ran toward a building with bright lights and flashing colors. When he got to the door, a doorman was standing there with is back turned to Axl. Axl screamed for help. The doorman turned around slowly revealing a rat's head. The rat headed doorman smiled and said "Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

It was then that Axl woke up. He looked around the bathroom, but he was alone. Remembering to flush the toilet he quickly finished up his business and headed to the living room to watch the rising sun. He now knew who had replaced Karen, and he had never been more terrified in his life.

[MisterV]

Axl heard a scuttling sound coming from the living room closet; girding his loins he opened the door and espied the damndest thing.

A couple of swarthy Serbs were puppeteering, controlling the strings of what seemed to be a wee mouse-like Wizard balanced on a unicycle.

"I nuke you, and you, and even you" squeaked the Wizard as his tiny claws slashed across the keyboard of his 'puter; "But now I'm off to sniff the coochies of young, hot mice...To Burning Man, and Beyond..."

And with that the tableau dissolved back to an empty closet leaving Axl standing there holding his dick yet still puzzled: "Who is my Master now? Surely not that lightweight fop."

Axl let fly a cheek slapper, a deep, rumbling manly tone emanated from his nether eye then slowly dissolved into the ether.

"Can the Wizard of Winnemucca really be my new creator? Nah, can't be: he doesn't give a flying fuck about anyhing any more, ever since he sold his child into white slavery."

Axl turned and headed toward the kitchen; there he espied a truly frightening visage: a plow with its handle covered in shit being worked by a scorpion.

"OH NO" he groaned: "Now I am well and truly fucked."

[pinchingyourballs]

A grim realization washed over Axl and he knew what he had to do. Hoisting the solid oak coffee table over head, with all his might he flung it at the large picture window in the living room. The glass gave way and the coffee table flew out into the airspace outside the luxurious penthouse suite at the James L. Knight Center. (Unbeknownst to our antihero, the coffee table landed on a pair of homos engaged in a lover's quarrel on the sidewalk below, Jules Kewl and Mohammed Dawg.) Axl called to the gang,

"Boys, they're giving away free strawberry blizzards right out our window! Let's get 'em!"

One by one the members of Cake Cream leapt out the window to claim their non-existent free strawberry blizzard. Each landed on the sidewalk below, their five mangled bodies forming a crude heart shape around the coffee table and the crushed contents underneath.

Here goes nothing, Axl mused, as he jumped to complete the gruesome tableau.

THE END.

[MisterV]

Hmmm....not bad, but your scenario kills the goose that lays the golden fart.

What about this...

__________________________________________________ __________________

Axl asked the scorpion what he was doing plowing up the kitchen floor of the luxurious penthouse suite.

"I'm plowing, asshole...what do you think I'm doing?"

Axl realized there was something very wrong with this picture; he went to his bedroom to wake up Billy only to find that Billy was now a 450 pound bucket of lard with huge breasts which were being suckled by a black autistic woman who looked a lot like that Huxstable woman on the Cosby show..

"Oh, shit!"

He ran outside and climbed up the elm and entered the tree fort that Cake Cream were sleeping in: "Oh no! They've turned into cock roaches."

It was only then that he noticed that he was no longer himself; via the power of the pen his new creators had morphed him into being a slimy slug with a powerful craving for Church's chicken and a compulsion to shit de flo'.

The new authors were letting their freak flag fly, and Axl's ass was left flapping in the breeze.

[pinchingyourballs]

Mohammed Dawg called to his husband Jules Kewl, "Honey, look what I bought at the creepy Chinese pet store!" Mohammed held a large glass terrarium tank containing some cockroaches and an enormous slug.

"Gross. Why on earth would you buy that. Plus don't you know everything at that store is cursed by the ghost of Confucius?" Jules whined

"The mysterious Chinese man who sold them to me looked a lot like you, so I just couldn't resist. He did mention something about not letting them get wet and not feeding them after midnight, but I wasn't really paying attention," Mohammed said enthusiastically. He was just happy to be here.

"Look, I gotta log on to fifty different forums and announce my departure, so I don't have time this shit," Jules whined further, then let loose a butt trumpet and went back to the dining room. Mohammed placed the tank on the credenza and watched the roaches and the slugs interacting. The slug climbed up the glass and wrote the word "fart" with his slug slime. Cool, Mohammed mused, then he went to the dining room to join his husband trolling gambling forums.

Hours passed as the married gay couple trolled online. Both of them had received certificates in forum trolling and sock puppetry from Miami Dade College, where they were taught by the illustrious professor Dr. Karen Nathan. Mohammed looked at the time. Shit, it was 12:10 AM. He remembered the terrarium.

"Sorry I forgot to feed you guys. Here's some Church's Chicken crumbs," Mohammed crooned, forgetting all about the warning.

Mohammed and Jules put on their Ninja Turtles pajamas and slipped into bed. At the same time, something terrible was starting to happen inside the terrarium.

[MisterV]

Unbeknownst by the Gay Boyz the feeding caused a breeding frenzy; the cockroaches repeatedly sodomized / penetrated he slimy slug in all its orifices; this went on til after three AM.

As the sun first peeked through the Speed Racer curtains which festooned the (invisible) eight figure mansion which Mohammed Dawg had built overlooking his go-to casino (Railroad Pass) a new sight was illuminated: the unholy union of slug and cockroach resulted in the creation of a doppelganger of Dr. Karen Nathan (Call her Dumb Bitch, or D. B. for short).

D. B. quickly outgrew the confines of the terrarium; she scanned her surroundings and espied a box of Church's Chicken which she hungrily consumed.

"Ahhhh..." she mused while letting loose several blasts of noxious Thunder From Down Under.

The blasts and the resulting hellish odor interrupted the married couple's ability to complete their felching: Mohammed Dawg, festooned with a brown mustache, and Jules Kewl, festooned with a nine and a half inch strap on dildo, ran into the living room and were stunned at the scene.

"Who are you?" Jules asked, his appendage waggling in the morning light.

"I am the doppelganger of the creator who abandoned you, and now you'll dance to MY tune."

With that D. B. magically produced a banjo, farted a "C" to tune it, then began to play Foggy Mountain Breakdown.

"Dance, my minions, dance"....and they danced, and danced, and danced the day away until an ominous rumble and shaking disturbed their reverie.

"Ah ha! It's begun" belched D. B. as she squatted and decorated the kitchen floor with digested chicken strips; "Now you guys will finally pay the piper."

[pinchingyourballs]

Mohammed and Jules stopped their dancing to observe the patterns D. B. was creating with turds. Paisley, fluer de lis, damask, etc. Jules looked to Mohammed and remarked,

"This looks a lot like a casino carpet design."

Mohammed sniffed the air thoughtfully. "Smells like one too."

[MisterV]

D. B. quickly dismissed the casino carpet comments as being on point yet irrelevant; "You assholes are REALLY gonna get it..Here they come...."

With that D. B. snapped her fingers while saying "Fibonacci" and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

The shaking and loud rumbling worsened; the Back Door Men looked out the window and lost all hope.

They espied a swarm of huge insects, each over one hundred feet long, who were scooping up the fleeing residents in their claws and chomping them like Cheez-Its.

That which had been feared, that which had been predicted had finally happened: someone somewhere had not obeyed the cardinal rule of human survival, to wit: "Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite."

History tells us that the in-somnolent culprit, She whose disobedience to the Prime Directive opened the floodgates to damnation, was a black autistic Walgreens clerk who looked a lot like that Huxstable woman on the Cosby show.