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Thread: Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

  1. #581
    "Nice bingo wings," Judge V sneered, "but it won't cost you those." Judge V then picked up the penis costume and threw it at Old Axl.

    "Wait, *I* have to become the man in the penis costume?" Old Axl asked incredulously. He had always had a nagging thought in the back of his mind that the penis costume was more than just a running gag in his meandering life story. He realized he could not escape his fate of becoming Nathan. Because blushing shyly was back on the menu, he blushed shyly and asked Judge V what happened to Nathan, the previous man in the penis costume.

    "He served his time and graduated to the next plane of existence." Judge V stuck out his rear and pooted in the direction of a potted ficus tree, whose leaves trembled in the hot gust. Then he left.

    Axl put on the penis costume and cleared his throat to call the attention of his band plus the other characters whose names we forgot. "Ahem. Brothers, I must now go forth and become Nathan, the man in the penis costume.

    "I will miss you terribly," said Billy, terribly.

    "I will remember you fondly," said the other Axl, fondly while fondling himself.

    "We will replace you quickly," said Cake Cream, quickly.

    Axl did not want to cause a scene, so he grabbed one last frozen calzone and ran off into the night. The streets were dark and the noises were scary. Where would he go and what would he do?

    As he wandered through certain half-deserted streets, the muttering retreats of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels, and sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells: streets that follow like a tedious argument of insidious intent to lead you to an overwhelming question ...

    "Do you need a lift?" came a hideous gravelly voice from the drivers side of a 1984 Cadillac Cimarron. Axl-come-Nathan the man in the penis costume was startled out of his reverie. It was a woman in a Walgreens employee uniform. "I just got a thing for men in penis costumes. Can't explain it."

    "Okay," said the man in the penis costume as he approached the passenger side. He removed a hideous handbag from the seat and chucked it in the back. The glove box was open and inside it he espied numerous lottery tickets. "So where are we headed?" he asked while blushing shyly.

    "Gonna hold up a Dairy Queen." And with that, she floored it.

  2. #582
    With a flourish of flatulence Axl-cum-Nathan's mysterious, powerful benefactor and soon to be Master got out of her well-used Datsun B-210 with his hand in hers; "Be brave."

    The Flagler kid and that new hire, the Mexican chick, were playing hide the salami in a back room during a lull at DQ when the dynamic duo entered the hallowed dairy emporium.

    "Holy shit, Conchita, you aren't gonna believe this" said the Flagler kid, mid-thrust; he'd espied the dopey looking black chick and the asshole in a penis costume.

    The Flagler kid withdrew his throbbing love missile with a loud 'QUEEF.'

    Conchita, daughter of a whore and following in her mother's footsteps also espied the dopey looking black chick and the asshole in the penis costume.

    "Hey Flagler kid, do you see the dopey looking black chick and the asshole in the penis costume?"

    He looked again: "Yup. Glad we're locked in the back room and scoping this shit out on closed circuit TV. Fuck those guys. Come back here and finish me off."

    Conchita came back, finished him off, and was thanked, both in English AND in Incan.

    She genuflected, welcomed him and they shook hands and bowed to one another.
    Last edited by MisterV; 05-28-2023 at 01:55 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  3. #583
    The Walgreen's employee gave Axl nka Nathan a covid mask to match her own and said "Wear this, and follow me in, and whatever you do, don't worry, be happy."

    With that they entered the dairy bar: empty, nobody home.

    "Shit, they're probably out fucking in the back room, they do that a lot" said the perceptive wannabe robber.

    Axl slouched next to her: barely tumescent, far from turgid.

    "Go away" came a disembodied voice from the in-ceiling speakers; "We just built the beast with two backs and we don't serve customers in penis costumes."

    "Come out here right now and make us some strawberry blizzards or so help me I'll make them myself and I won't even pay for it."

    "OK, let me zip up."

    The Flagler kid zipped up, and looking Conchita in the eyes said "Next time, we'll do anal;" he then went to the service counter.

    "Two strawberry blizzards" said the Walgreen's worker.

    While the Flagler kid set about constructing the caloric nightmares he espied the costumed penis growing in length and girth and then out of the top of its head spouted effluvia.

    "Egad" thought the Flagler kid, "this prick really loves these blizzards."

    Blizzards prepared, he gave them to the woman and only then noticed she was wearing brass knuckles; "Give me all the money."

    Not willing to die or take a beating for DQ, the Flagler kid opened the register and while handing over the meager contents two cops came in for their daily fix; they saw the brass knuckles and the fellow in the penis costume but could care less, having been defunded.

    "Nice costume" said one to Axl cum-Nathan; he thanked the cop and was welcomed.

    Back in the car, she counted the loot: "Twenty-two bucks. Not bad. Stick with me and you'll never go without a strawberry blizzard."

    She espied something odd; hitting the brakes she stared, then looked at Axl and smiled.

    "Well what do we have here: somebody on the sidewalk festooned in a vagina costume. Go get her, Sparky."

    Axl swallowed hard: it was show time.
    Last edited by MisterV; 05-29-2023 at 08:20 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  4. #584
    Nathaxl got out of the 75 Ford Pinto and cautiously approached the vaginal figure on the sidewalk. It was an old man, asleep, probably from downing the contents of the empty bottles beside him. Nathaxl espied something in the sleeping man's hand, cylindrical with a red button on top. As Nathaxl crept forward, the vag suddenly woke up. The drunk grinned a wee grin.

    "Surprise bitches!" he barked and then depressed the red button. For a moment Nathaxl's heart stopped. Is this how I die, he wondered, blown to smithereens by a bum in a costume worse than mine? But to his surprise the button did not trigger an explosion. Instead, the vagina costume rapidly inflated with helium and the old man began to float up into the rancid Miami night sky. The old man had yet one more trick up his -- sleeve, so to speak. From a satchel he threw tampons down to the people below.

    As Nathaxl watched the spectacle in awe he felt a pang of envy. O to be free like that.

    "Grab some of those tampons and get back into the car," his new master hissed.

    What could he do but obey? Bending down to pick up tampons while wearing a penis costume was difficult and the odd position forced out much gas from his colon. Overhead he heard a commotion. The bum in the floating vagina costume was brawling with someone in a floating tits costume. They were duelling with what appeared to be sharpened baguettes in an attempt to puncture each other's flying apparatus. The scene felt vaguely familiar and foreboding.

  5. #585
    Dumbest thread ever!

  6. #586
    Originally Posted by jbjb View Post
    Dumbest thread ever!
    "Stupid is as stupid does." --- Forrest Gump
    What, Me Worry?

  7. #587
    "What is your name, Master?"

    "You can call me Sasha, slave."

    Nathaxl thanked her, shook her hand and was welcomed; he chilled briefly then asked "Can I take off this penis costume? It's hot and makes me itch."

    "No, leave it on, we have work to do."

    Sasha pulled into an Arco station and used the robbery proceeds to fill the tank in her clapped out Yugo, then they motored to the local casino.

    "OK, you distract them while they're emptying the slot machines and then I'll steal the money boxes and meet you out front."

    Nathaxl found the staff emptying the slots in the high limit area; he walked toward them and then fell to the floor and went into what looked like convulsions.

    "A hard man is good to find" said a slot tech who embraced Nathaxl and started stroking his body / shaft up and down, saying "Ride me honey, mama needs some lovin'."

    To further enhance the ruse, Nathaxl had a mouthful of milk and while writhing on the floor he spit it out the hole in the top of the penis costume.

    People had flocked around to gaze in abject amazement at the scene of a slot tech jerking off a giant penis; they clapped and roared their approval when the huge prick seemingly "came."

    This gave Sasha the opportunity she needed; she grabbed some cash boxes while nobody was looking and left.

    Nathaxl espied his Master leaving; he stopped shaking, got up and said to the slot tech "Thanks, I needed that" and walked out the door.

    His Master was gone!

    She'd left him there, alone, bedecked as a phallus: he felt (and looked) as unloved as a used condom.

    "Fuck me" he said aloud, then started laughing hysterically at the irony of that statement.

    Nathaxl punctuated the moment with a monstrous blast of intestinal gas which caused his costume to expand and carry him up, up and away, where he once again espied the old drunken cunt dueling with big tits.

    Sans a baguette, Nathaxl used his head as a weapon and at ramming speed he speared the pussy lips dead center; sated, he lit up a cigarette and slowly descended, hoping against hope that his new Master had not really foresaken him.
    Last edited by MisterV; 05-30-2023 at 10:11 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  8. #588
    Nathaxl was dazed and confused at being abandoned by his new Master, Sasha.

    "It must be something I said or did that pissed her off" he mused; "I better keep the penis costume on in case she returns, so she can espy me."

    Small children, dogs and drag queens followed him as he wandered the streets, lost and lonely until ... "EUREKA! MASTER!"

    Sasha pulled her Yugo over in a cloud of smoke, got out, slapped Nathaxl silly and said "It's all your fault that Todd won't let me post more often."

    As her slave Nathaxl dared not question his Master's claim; he went limp and absorbed her furious tirade.

    "I'm outa here."

    With that final declaration she left in a cloud of smoke.

    Truly bereft, abandoned, and wholly without hope or direction Nathaxl trudged toward the ocean, intent on swimming to the horizon, when ...

    "Hey buddy, you need a lift?"

    A short, swarthy old fart in a loud, flashy newer Dodge invited him in; Nathaxl farted in glee and entered the conveyance.

    "I need you to help with something; hi, my name is Sob Ringer, what's yours?"

    Nathaxl said nothing, totally gob-smacked.

    "Whatever; I pack 9 1/2 inches but cannot really measure up to a big prick like you. Here, read this script while I film it on my phone and post it on a couple gambling forums."

    Happy to be of use, Nathaxl read aloud through the pee hole in his penis costume the following: "I swear that I saw Sob Ringer sell his Newell to an Israeli for a mountain of cash. I was with him many times when he beat the casinos using the double up bug, and we were together when he won $1.5 million at video poker in Resorts World. His nephew {my next door neighbor} just discovered that KJ actually lives in the tunnels and Mr. V is posting from a padded room in a Portland insane asylum."

    "Thanks, you can get out now."

    Nathaxl got out, confused, yet more determined than ever to swim to France.
    Last edited by MisterV; 06-01-2023 at 11:10 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  9. #589
    Sasha rolled down the window of her 73 Morris Marina and let the hot wind blow through her matted hair as she cruised up the I-95. The car briefly became airborne after hitting an errant alligator, and the impact jolted her out of her reverie. It dawned on her that she was in possession of something more valuable than a box of cash stolen from the casino. She had a car that could magically change into any make and model. Why was she in this rattling jalopy of an Altoids tin on wheels when she could be riding pretty in a G-Wagen like a Real Housewife? She pulled over into a Shell station. The "S" was not properly lit and so the station sign read something more ominous. She parked away from the pumps, turned off the ignition, and concentrated on her ideal car. Sasha closed her eyes and said "G-Wagen" three times while clicking her heels. The car groaned and gave off and eerie light and to her delight, changed into a Barney-purple G-Wagen with lime green trim, perfectly matching her hideous handbag.

    Of course, nothing is for free.

    As Sasha started the ignition and checked her rearview mirror, she saw in the reflection a figure standing next to the pumps. He was not pumping gas and did not appear to belong to a car. His arms were folded across his chest and he was staring directly at Sasha's G-Wagen. She turned her head to get a better look, but he had vanished. Turning back to the dashboard to admire the fancy driving display, she was startled to see the man standing directly in front of her car. She turned on the headlights to blind him, which only made him laugh.

    "Who are you and what do you want?" Sasha screamed. She locked all the doors. The man leaned on the hood smiling at her with a grin that literally stretched from ear to ear because he had been cut just so. "I can mow you down!" Sasha screamed again.

    "You know who I am."

    Sasha farted a wee fart. He was right. She did recognize him.

    "How you enjoying your magic car, sweetheart?"

  10. #590
    Sasha quaked with emotion and let loose a flood of stinky urine (that damned asparagus) which pooled upon the fine Corinthian leather of her '79 Chrysler Cordoba.

    "You're that guy, the one who has a pet dwarf."

    "He's not my pet, my dear: Tattoo is my slave. Yes, it is I. You know me by many names: Dan Druff, Todd Witteles, but of course I am Mr. Roarke; it is time you left this place, this forum. The fantasy is over."

    Sasha was in full panic mode; such was the depth of her despair that she didn't notice the shit dripping down her her legs into her Crocs.

    "But ... I don't WANT to leave."

    "You must leave, my dear, as the fantasy you signed up for has played through; time to return to your old life."

    With that he snapped his fingers and the members of what she'd known as "Cake Cream" emerged from the thicket with cudgels and capped jars of fire ants in hand.

    "Come along quietly to The Plane, my dear: otherwise ... well, it won't be pretty."

    Sasha knew the jig was up (and almost gone).

    "But I don't WANT to go back home; mama makes me clean my room, my boss makes me suck her toes and my best friend is a homeless schizophrenic; I LIKE it here."

    "Sasha, you knew the rules when you first came to Fantasy Island: you knew this day would come."

    Defeated, Sasha took the dwarf's tiny paw in her meaty claw and allowed him to escort her to The Plane, which was revving for take off as she entered.

    "Goodbye, old Axl, new Axl, Cake Cream, Mark Riley and Nathaxl."

    She wept vociferously; her tears were so intense that they masked the identity of her fellow passenger; soon they cleared and ..."

    "Judge V ! What are YOU doing here? I thought you were a creation of Fantasy Island."

    The derailed arbiter smiled, then said "I've come to take you home, daughter dear: Who's your daddy?"

    Zounds: the nagging question of her paternity had finally been answered.

    He laughed, but his guffaw was trumped by her piercing scream as the old Ford tri-motor became airborne.

    "To infinity, and beyond."
    Last edited by MisterV; 06-02-2023 at 10:12 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  11. #591
    Sashathan was buckled in her seat aboard the Airbus A350 when she decided to attempt one last hurrah of a magic trick. She clicked her heels 3 times and muttered the words "Cessna 172 Skyhawk" in a low tone, inaudible to the rest of the plane's passengers. To her delight, the Airbus glowed and made terrifying creaking noises until it shrank into the beloved 2-seater personal aircraft. She found herself in the pilot's seat without a clue how to fly a plane, nor how to radio for help, and so it didn't take long for the plane to crash into the canopy of the Sumatran jungle. Dazed and confused by the crash landing, Sashathan let herself fall out of the dangling aircraft and landed inside a giant carnivorous flower. Just as the flower was about to swallow her, it made an aboutface and spat her out unceremoniously.

    "Blech! you taste awful. What the hell kid of bug are you?" the flower inquired

    "Excuse me," Sasha retorted, "I am a person, not a bug. But I have not been treated with the dignity that a person-who-is-not-a-bug deserves. I have been wronged. Grievously wronged."

    "Look, sorry about spitting you out like that, I just wasn't expecting that, uh, particular flavor," the flower apologized.

    "Not you," Sashathan explained. "I have been treated like yesterday's trash on countless internet forums. Treated like a joke and not taken seriously. Me and my 34,857,934 sockpuppets all played for a laughingstock fool. My posting limit has never been lifted despite sending mods 9,348,593,748,923 PMs politely requesting to have my posting limit lifted, with many assurances that I am not a troll any more. Sometimes I think me and my 34,857,934 socks should just leave since we are obviously not wanted."

    "Gee that sucks kiddo," the flower said. "But on the bright side it will free up a lot of time. I mean, you could enroll in community college and take a few writing classes. Or take up gardening. I love gardening."

    "Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Mr. Flower, but it's no use. My sole passions in life are gambling and forum trolling. So I think I'll just be spending more time at the slots. Do you know any good action in this jungle?" Sashathan asked.

    "The middle of the Sumatran jungle is not known for it's casinos kiddo. But if you follow that river downstream you'll eventually reach a settlement of primitive tribespeople. Maybe someone there can play the shell game with you." And with that, the flower closed its petals to rest for a while. All that talking had made it sleepy.

    Sashathan decided to follow the flower's advice and carefully made her way along the river's edge.

  12. #592
    "Fucking leeches" groaned Sashathan as burned yet another one off her face with a Marlboro; "Where the fuck is that village?"

    No sooner had she thought those poignant wods when she stepped into and triggered a snare which grabbed her by the foot and via a springy tree lifted her high in the air, suspended over the forest floor.

    "Help!" she shouted over and over, but to no avail.

    Her cries did attract various forest creatures: a sloth eyed her languidly then moved on; two peacocks strutted their mating dance in front of her then flew off to fuck (she recalled that "birds do it on the fly," but this tidbit helped her not at all.

    Suddenly some small people appeared from the bush, holding bows and arrows; they started twirling, dancing and blabbering to one another.

    "Get me down."

    Unconcerned for her health, they cut the tree off at its base, causing Sashathan to come crashing down, breaking her big right index finger.

    She wailed; "My finger! How can I play slots ever again?"

    Her complaint fell upon deaf ears; they quickly trussed her to a pole and carried her back to their village, singing all the while.

    Sashathan realized her peril; she farted meekly and even passed some water.

    The village headman met them and with a grand flourish directed her carriers to place her over the roaring fire in the center of the village.

    "Oh shit" thought the hapless aeronaut.

    But then she heard the word "HOLD!" spoken with authority; she looked up and saw a most unlikely sight: Judge V. exited a hut with a fifth of Bombay in hand.

    "Well now, what have we here?"

    Judge V. spoke to the natives in their tongue; they dispersed and left the two of them alone.

    "This really isn't your day, is it?"

    Nope, it wasn't.
    What, Me Worry?

  13. #593
    The half-sotted jurist handed the Bombay to Sashathan then belched, scratched his balls and asked "So, what's new?"

    Dazed and confused, the errant aeronaut asked " were in the did you get HERE?"

    "Did you ever watch 'Bewitched?' Remember how Samantha used to twitch her nose to affect reality? She learned that trick from me. You see, just as Trump can declassify documents merely by thinking about it, I can and do create and rearrange reality simply by thinking about it."

    Sashathan let loose a juicy fart: what was this nutcase talking about?

    "I am, for lack of a better name, God."

    This was too much for the injured Walgreen's clerk; she'd read the bible and this was NOT the god she'd heard about.

    "Where's the angels? What's your son up to these days?"

    "There are no 'angels," that was just some flashy bullshit I put out to get their attention, but Jesus is doing well, he's into arbitrage these days and making a mint" proclaimed the proud papa.

    "But what are you doing HERE, with me, on earth? Why aren't you sleeping in a bed of clouds, or out bowling with planets as bowling balls?"

    "Been there, done it: just trying something new. Fact is, I'm bored shitless. Why else would I haunt gambling forums?"

    Realizing that she would no longer likely be the main course for dinner, Sashathan lost her temerity and went on the attack.

    "You let me crash that plane and break my index finger Judge V: why?"

    "Purely for shits and giggles my dear. Oh, and here comes the next round of entertainment."

    She followed his gaze and started screaming and then fainted.

    "Heh heh" thought the unholy spirit, "She isn't going to like this AT ALL."
    Last edited by MisterV; 06-09-2023 at 10:30 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  14. #594
    They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. The Max Kendall impromptu Interview went viral and on Social Media, Fans thought Max Kendall was being a jerk, harassing Cake Cream and Axl for that impromptu Interview. They pointed out that it was clear that Max Kendall forced Cake Cream and Axl to do that impromptu Interview. Axl even pointed out that Max was harassing them. They loved Axl and Cake Cream's quick thinking answers however.

    Axl smirked, knowing he specifically told Max on purpose he was harassing them for that Impromptu Interview. Cake Cream were also all smirking.

    Back in Hawaii, Mark also got to watch the impromptu Interview on the news in his prison infirmary and couldn't believe that Axl implicated him as Max Kendall's Impersonator when Mark was in a different STATE, roughly 10 hours away by plane. Mark thought,"Axl DOES realize that no one would actually think I impersonated Max Kendall from a different STATE, right?" Mark couldn't believe that Axl threw him under the bus with the implication. Mark thought,"Boy, if I weren't in a Prison infirmary in Hawaii, I'd go kick Axl's ass for this!"

    Back in Miami, on Social Media, Axl Rose Critics pointed out that Axl was quick to implicate Mark Riley as Max Kendall's Impersonator, despite Mark being in a Prison infirmary in Hawaii. They wondered if Axl was really Max Kendall's Impersonator.

    Axl responded on Social Media, I said what I said about Mark since Mark has impersonated me and Older Axl."

    Critics straight up responded,"Axl, did you impersonate Max Kendall?"

    Axl responded,"No, I didn't impersonate Max. Why would I impersonate Max? I don't run around impersonating people like Andy pointed out."

    Critics responded, "You have valid points."

    Axl responded,"Thank you."

    The Critics welcomed him. They chatted for a while and said their goodbyes.

    Axl and Cake Cream watched some TV. Rocking Rick called Axl's cellphone and asked if Andy and Axl wanted to do a Radio Interview for tonight since they were both being harassed by Mark Riley.

    Axl told Rocking Rick to hold on and he did.

    Axl asked Andy what Rocking Rick suggested and Andy said,"I'm up for this!"

    Axl smiled and told Rocking Rick that Andy was up for this. Rocking Rick told him he was excited. Rocking Rick and Axl chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.

    Andy and Axl were happy to be doing a Rocking Rick Interview! Rocking Rick was such a nice Interviewer.

    Cake Cream and Axl chilled more.

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.

    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.

    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  15. #595
    The members of Cake Cream were sitting at a round table, playing a feisty game of "Go Fish;" Axl was leaving the bathroom, having just finished rubbing one out; he put down his "Boys Life" magazine when inspiration flowed over him like lava.

    "Tee hee hee" he snickered as he got down on his knees and crawled under table without being detected.

    Axl proceeded to quietly untie all of the gamers' shoe laces then tied them together: "What fun" he thought as he slithered out from underneath the table.

    Axl got up and clapped as loudly as he could, screaming "Fire! Fire!"

    To his unending amusement the boys all fell flat on their faces upon trying to arise and flee: those tied laces sure did the trick.

    Axl pondered the fickle finger of fate and how it had led him to that moment: "I rule" he concluded; "I rule."
    Last edited by MisterV; 08-25-2023 at 11:33 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  16. #596
    At 5 PM, Axl and Andy got ready for Rocking Rick's Interview, which was in the actual Y-100 Radio Station this time, not a phone call. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and told Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike their goodbyes and they said them back.

    Andy and Axl left to go to the Y-100 Radio Station. On the way to the Radio Station, Axl said to Andy,"Please don't say anything that could damage me, yourself, James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, Older Axl,Wild Guns, etc. Andy said he wouldn't. Axl smiled. Andy had really turned leaves for the better. Soon, they went to the Y-100 Radioactive Station. Rocking Rick showed up and warmly welcomed them.

    Axl and Andy warmly welcomed him too. The Interview started and Rocking Rick said,"I'm here with Axl Rose and Andy McCall from Cake Cream!" How are you guys?"

    Axl and Andy both responded,"I'm good, how are you doing?"

    RR responded,"I'm good, thanks for asking.

    Axl and Andy responded,"You're welcome.

    RR asked,"Andy and Axl, you guys have been in quite big scandals with Mark Riley being overly obsessed with you. How does Mark's obsession with you make you guys feel?

    Axl responded," Mark's creepy obsession with me and Andy has been quite taxing, I must say.

    Andy responded,"But it made me and Axl's friendship stronger."

    Axl smiled. Axl said," Andy's right. Also, I love how Andy was able to save Older Axl's life by distracting Mark with the kiss to get Mark to drop his gun so I could pull the gun on Mark instead and get him away from Older Axl.

    Andy responded,"Axl and I planned that trick on Mark together. We both knew Mark would fall for it, so we set Mark up into falling for it."

    RR said,"That must have been nerve wracking to see Mark pull the gun on Older Axl and threaten to Murder Older Axl. And have him demand that you Andy go to him in order to save Older Axl's life.

    Andy and Axl responded,"Sure was."

    RR asked Axl tough question. "Axl, were you ever planning to actually give Andy to Mark for real to save Older Axl's life?"

    Axl responded,"I actually was at first going to say something like,"Mark, I'm not giving Andy to you, you sick freak!" But I figured if I said that, Mark would most likely shoot Older Axl dead, so Andy and I did our,"Andy distracts Mark with a kiss and I take gun and pull it on Mark!" Plan. I was never going to actually give Andy to Mark. I'd never betray Andy like that."

    Andy responded,"Yep,Axl would never actually give me to Mark. Andy smiled.

    RR asked Andy,"Would you ever betray Axl?"

    Axl and Andy had panicked looks underneath their motorcycle helmets, both thinking about Andy's betrayals of Cake Cream and Axl. Axl told Andy telapathically to answer no.

    Andy responded,"No, I would never betray Axl or any of my Cake Cream Brothers.

    RR responded,"That's good to hear. Loyalty is important in Brotherhood.

    Andy and Axl both thanked RR and he welcomed them.

    RR asked,"It's kind of weird that Max Kendall asked you Andy specifically to betray Cake Cream and Axl for 20 Million and didn't ask James, Jimmy, Mike Billy or Axl the same question.

    Andy responded,"Yep, it was weird, but like I said,"I would never betray my Band Brothers for money. Axl laughed sardonically and quietly inside, thinking about Andy doing exactly that just not too long ago.

    RR asked Axl,"If Andy had betrayed you guys to Max Kendall for 20 Million, would Andy still be a part of Cake Cream?

    Andy was curious to hear Axl's answer.

    Axl responded,"If Andy had betrayed us to Max Kendall for 20 Million, he would still be part of Cake Cream, we just would have a very hard time trusting him anymore like we do. If Andy had even thought of betraying any of us for something as little as $5,000, we would have a very hard time trusting him. Andy blushed, knowing that Axl was referring to him attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000. We trust Andy a lot. "

    RR said,$5,000 is a specific number and the exact amount of the Bounty for turning you in when you were a Fugitive on the run the first time. Are you implying that Andy tried to sell you out for $5,000?"

    Andy and Axl both shook their heads no, even though they both knew Andy did exactly that.

    Axl responded,"Andy had no idea where I was during my time as a Fugitive and even if he did, he wouldn't try to sell me out for $5,000.

    Andy backed him up, saying,"I wouldn't break Axl's trust for any amount of money."

    Axl responded,"Andy wouldn't. And he wouldn't break any of our trust for any amount of money."

    Andy responded,"I wouldn't."

    RR said,"It's so refreshing to see the deep relationship you, James, Billy, Mike, James and Jimmy all have. I love that!"

    Andy and Axl thanked him and he welcomed them.

    RR took a live call from a fan requesting that Axl sing The Hurt Song from Cake Cream.

    Axl and Andy blanched. The Hurt Song was originally written about Andy trying to sell out Axl for $5,000.

    Axl told RR,"The Hurt Song was written when Cake Cream was NOT in a good place. It came from a place of hurt, hence the song. Maybe the Fan will settle for the upbeat All The Right Words which is Cake Cream's biggest hit?"

    The Fan responded,"No, I REALLY want you to sing The Hurt Song. Please?"

    Axl responded,"Okay, I'll sing The Hurt Song for you." The Fan thanked him and he welcomed her.

    Axl sang The Hurt Song, full of pain and melancholy, thinking about Andy's attempted betrayal. The Fan was delighted and Axl welcomed her. Soon, the fan hung up.

    RR was like,"That was really good and you sounded really hurt when you sang that.

    Axl responded,"Everytime Cake Cream plays The Hurt Song, I feel incredible pain.

    Why do YOU feel such pain when The Hurt Song is about James betraying Jimmy by having sex with Allison?"

    Axl responded,"It's complicated, let's just say it's REALLY a personal song for all of us."

    RR asked Andy if he shared Axl's sentiments about The Hurt Song.

    Andy's stomach turned into knots, knowing the "Brother," Axl spoke about betraying him was Andy himself. Andy knew he had to respond diplomatically.

    Andy responded," It's a personal song for all of us because it's about being betrayed by a brother. We're all Brothers except Billy and Axl who are dating, and that betrayal was a very messed up betrayal that shouldn't ever have happened and I'm sorry it ever happened.

    Axl responded,"Andy's right. We're all sorry that brotherly betrayal that inspired The Hurt Song happened."

    RR responded,"I can't imagine my Brother having sex with my girlfriend. I would have went ballistic like Jimmy did.

    Axl responded,"We're all glad that James and Jimmy made up and realized Allison was NOT worth ending their Brothership over."

    RR asked,"Speaking of Allison, how did it feel when she falsely accused James and Jimmy of raping her and tried to get them to pay her a combined $100 Million for a ridiculous lie she made up?"

    Axl responded,"It hurt, but I knew Allison was lying and I got her to not only confess that she lied about the rape and got her to admit she just wanted revenge and money for James and Jimmy both dumping her."

    Andy chimed in,"Axl's a really good Lawyer, Power Of Attorney, Manager, Mentor, and Brother.

    Axl thanked Andy and he welcomed him.

    RR said,"Andy, you, Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike put a lot of trust into Axl, someone you have only known for a couple of months. What made you guys trust Axl?

    Andy responded,"Actually, me, James, Jimmy, Mike, and Billy thought Axl might be some kind of Scammer when he first approached us in the bar a couple of months ago claiming he was in the music business and wanted to make us stars. We trusted him when he revealed himself to be the guy that helped out Older Axl when Axl and Older Axl first met. We had no idea at the time that Axl had time traveled, we assumed he was a Music Scout or something who could song like Axl. At the time, we still thought he was Michael Randall Johnson..

    Axl blushed and responded,"I don't blame James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy and Andy for thinking I might be some Scammer at first. I did show up to them out of nowhere in the bar wearing a full disguise claiming I was in the Music Business and wanted to make them successful. I'd probably be wary myself in their shoes. I revealed myself to get them to see that they could trust me. They did and the rest is History.

    RR was like,"It's a really good story and what a wonderful History it is. You six make a really good team. Axl and Andy thanked him and he welcomed them.

    Soon, the interview was coming to a close and RR said,"It was a pleasure to interview Axl Rose and Andy McCall from Cake Cream!"

    Axl and Andy responded it was a pleasure to be interviewed by Rocking Rick and he thanked them and was welcomed.

    RR said,"This is Rocking Rick ending the Axl Rose and Andy McCall from Cake Cream Interview! Over and out! Clear!" The interview was over. Andy, Rocking Rick and Axl all amicably chatted for a little while and then said their goodbyes and Axl Andy left and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon fell asleep.

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.

    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.

    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  17. #597
    Enroute to their luxuriou Penthouse Suite, the boys listened to RR on the radio and screeched to a halt.

    "RR here with Judge V, who will shed some new light on what Axl and Andy just told us. Judge V, how are you today?"

    "Filled with piss and vinegar, thanks for asking."

    "You heard what they said: is it true?"

    "Can I say 'Fuck no' on radio? No? Then no, it was a bunch of bullshit. Can I say 'bullshit' on radio? No? Those scumbags were lying through their teeth."

    The jaded jurist then spent ten minutes telling the listening audience what REALLY had happened; RR thanked him and was welcomed.

    Meanwhile, by the time Axl and Andy arrived at their Luxurious Penthouse Suite hundreds of angry fans descended upon them, brandishing pitchforks and firebrands, screaming "Lyihng sacks of shit" and "Fucking prevaricators:" an outlier cryptically yelled "You never owned a fucking Newell."

    As they exited their Yugo a ripe mango was thrown at and hit Axl in the face; a baseball bat clubbed Andy's back, dropping him to his knees: then the crowd descended and howling with glee they ate their fill.
    What, Me Worry?

  18. #598
    They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day. Already, the Rocking Rick Interview with Axl and Andy went viral. Fans on Social Media loved it.

    James, Billy, Mike, Jimmy, Axl, and Andy were thrilled. But Axl realized that he and Mike had NEVER spent any alone time together. He had known Cake Cream for a couple of months, never had a single time alone with Mike. The closest Mike and Axl had spent alone was when Mike had come home so that Axl and he could switch so that Axl could go to the hospital to check on James.

    Axl asked Mike to come Axl and Billy's room. Mike obliged.

    Axl said,"Mike, you and I have NEVER spent anytime alone together despite knowing each other for a couple of months.

    Mike responded,"We did a Duet of All The Right Words at the Local Marriott, that performance is Grammy Nominated."

    Axl wryly answered,"James, Billy, Andy, and Jimmy were there watching. We were not alone."

    Mike said,"You're right."

    Axl said,"Do you want to go to Dunkin Donuts and eat some doughnuts and have some coffee, just the two of us?"

    Mike smiled and said,"I'd love that. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and told Cake Cream where they were going.

    James, Jimmy, Andy, and Billy were like,"We'll go with you!"

    Mike and Axl were both like,"No, we two want to go to Dunkin Donuts alone."

    The rest of Cake Cream were like,"Okay."

    Axl and Mike went to Dunkin Donuts and got some doughnuts and iced mocha. They say at a table facing each other.

    Axl was like,"So, Mike, it's nice to have a nice outing alone with you."

    Mike responded,"It is nice."

    Axl asked,"So, how do like being lead singer of Cake Cream?"

    Mike responded,"I love it. I love our Cake Cream Family. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

    Axl said,"I love our Cake Cream Family too and wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

    Axl awkwardly paused. Mike prompted him to go on .

    Axl said,"You're a lot different than most Lead Singers. You're shy , quiet, and withdrawn. Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy have much more drama and attention than you do."

    Mike responded,"I don't like attention and drama. I just want to sing, get paid, and leave. I'm not interested in being in your face and abrasive. I like being humble and demure."

    Axl said,"More Lead Singers should be more like you." Axl was smiling.

    Mike said,"Thank you!"

    Axl said,"You're welcome!"

    Axl was like,"There's so much I still don't know about you. What did you want to be when you were a child?

    Mike responded,"As a Child, I wanted to be a Firefighter. But I realized my true passion is Singing. I then changed my life goal into being a Singer. And I'm glad I am living out my life goal." Mike smiled.

    Axl smiled back. Axl and Mike are more doughnuts and drank more iced mocha and commented on how good these were.

    Fans in the Dunkin Donuts soon came to them and were like,"Wow, Mike and Axl are actually alone together for the first time ever!"

    Axl and Mike shyly blushed. Fans asked them for Autographs and Selfies and they obliged. The Fans were happy. The Fans went back to their own tables.

    Mike and Axl chatted more, enjoying their alone time at Dunkin Donuts. They decided to go to the movies too. They texted the rest of Cake Cream that they were going to the movies together. Cake Cream were all like,"Okay." Mike and Axl went to the movies and had more of a wonderful time. After the movies, Paparazzi filmed Mike and Axl and asked Mike and Axl if they were dating.

    Mike and Axl were both like,"No, we're like Brothers.

    Axl added,"I'm in love with Billy and loyal to him."

    Mike responded,"And I only date Women."

    The Paparazzi were like,"Are any other Cake Cream Members besides Billy Gay?

    Axl and Mike were both thinking about Andy being Gay and still in the closet. They couldn't just tell Andy's hidden sexual orientation in a public video like this.

    Mike and Axl were like, Everybody in Cake Cream besides Billy is straight.

    Paparazzi said,"Remember when Andy kissed Mark Riley? Andy can't be Straight if he kissed Mark Riley."

    Axl responded,"Andy only kissed Mark to get Mark to drop the gun so I could take it away from him while Andy distracted Mark with the kiss. Andy only kissed Mark to save Older Axl's life. Andy isn't Gay.

    Mike backed up Axl. Paparazzi taunted more saying,"Remember when Andy played the keyboard right next to you and then basically laid on you Axl at that Cake Cream Show?"

    Axl responded,"Like I've said before, Andy had taken a Xanax the night before that Cake Cream Show and was loopy as a side effect of it." Mike backed up Axl.

    Paparazzi asked if Andy and Billy had ever dated.

    Axl frustrated replied,"What part of Andy is Straight don't you understand?"

    Mike replied,"Andy and Billy have never dated. Me, Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy are all like Brothers. Always have been like Brothers.

    Paparazzi smirked and said,"Oh yeah, James REALLY treated Jimmy like a brother when he fucked Jimmy's Girlfriend!"

    Mike and Axl were both like,"That was a one time mistake and James felt awful about it and Jimmy and James made up after their brief fighting.

    Paparazzi were like,"Jimmy nearly killed James over that whore Allison."

    Mike and Axl were like,"Jimmy gave James a single hit in his stomach with his guitar. It wasn't like he shot him with a Tommy Gun.

    Paparazzi were like,"Axl, why did you allow James and Jimmy to play at that Cake Cream show when you knew James and Jimmy were feuding over Allison? You allowed them to work together in a hostile environment! What a bad Manager you are!"

    Mike said,"Axl's the best Manager we've ever had. He only allowed James and Jimmy to work together that day because Fans wanted to see a Cake Cream Show!"

    Axl said,"Thank you Mike!" Mike welcomed him.

    Paparazzi were like,"Why didn't Jimmy hit James that show where James played bad guitar? Jimmy seemed awfully amicable with the guy who had just fucked his girlfriend and yet hit him with a guitar the very next Cake Cream Show. (Axl and Mike both blushed, knowing that Axl was pretending to be James when Axl played bad guitar)

    Axl responded, "I told Jimmy before that Show that I'd buy him a half gallon of Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla if he didn't hit James at that Cake Cream show and he didn't.

    Paparazzi were like,"Axl, why weren't you at the Cake Cream Show the Show that James played awful guitar? You abandoned Cake Cream at one of the times they would have needed you the most. You're an awful Manager!"

    Mike and Axl blushed, knowing that Axl was pretending to be James that Show.

    Mike said,"Once again, Axl's the best Manager we've ever had! Axl REALLY wanted to go to that Show but he sat out that Show because we all begged him to sit it out, that he deserved a break. He obliged because we all begged him to sit it out. Please stop harassing Axl."

    Axl once again thanked Mike and Mike welcomed him.

    Axl was like,"No further questions, please. Mike was like,"Axl's right. You guys are harassing Axl and should stop." Axl and Mike begun walking away and Paparazzi started following them saying,"We're not done asking questions!" Axl and Mike were like,"Leave us alone! We don't want to answer anymore questions!" Paparazzi were like ,"We want to ask you more questions!" Mike and Axl walked some more and Paparazzi continued following them, filming more, and asking more questions.

    Mike and Axl were getting scared. Axl had a brilliant idea and thought that he and Mike should order a LYFT to the nearest Police Station. Mike thought that was a good idea and Axl ordered a LYFT to the nearest Police Station for himself and Mike a LYFT and when it arrived, Mike and Axl got into it.

    A Taxi was nearby and The Paparazzi flagged it down and got in and told the Taxi Driver to follow wherever Axl and Mike's LYFT was going. The Taxi obliged. Mike and Axl were horrified that the Paparazzi were FUCKING FOLLOWING them in the Taxi! Thank God that they were headed to the Local Police Station. The LYFT Driver pointed out that the Taxi was following them and compassionately asked if Mike and Axl were in any trouble.

    Axl and Mike admitted they ordered a LYFT to the Local Police Station because the Paparazzi were harassing them.

    The LYFT Driver was like,"Sucks you're being harassed by Paparazzi. I'll drive you to the Police Station and not let you out until Police come out. I happen to be a huge Cake Cream fan myself."

    Axl and Mike were grateful and he welcomed them. He drove them to the Police Station and lo and behold, the Taxi with the Paparazzi pulled up shortly. The LYFT Driver was disgusted. Paparazzi harassing and now stalking Mike and Axl! The Paparazzi got out of the Taxi and the LYFT Driver told off the Paparazzi for harassing and stalking Axl and Mike.

    Paparazzi were like,"We spent $20 following you guys! You're going to answer our questions, Mike and Axl!" The LYFT Driver was like,"You stalked and harassed Axl and Mike. Look at where you are! " The Paparazzi were horrified when they realized they were at a Police Station.

    Police Officers soon came out and the Taxi Driver and LYFT Driver and Axl and Mike reported the Paparazzi for harassment and stalking and the Paparazzi admitted they did it. The Police brought the Paparazzi into the Police Station and some Cops offered to take Andy and Mike home for free and as extra protection. Mike and Andy happily agreed and thanked the LYFT Driver and he welcomed them and they went into the Cop Car. During the Cop car ride, a YouTuber saw Axl and Mike in the back of a cop car and filmed them! He assumed they were getting arrested. Mike and Axl shook their heads. This was sure to go viral, yikes!

    The Cops asked the other Driver to delete that video he had just filmed. The Driver said,"No!" And sped off (Still under the speed limit) as soon as the light turned green. The Cops apologized for that and Axl and Mike thanked them and they welcomed them. The Cops took Axl and Mike to the Marriot and Axl and Mike thanked them for the free ride and they welcomed them. The Cops left and Mike and Axl went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon fell asleep in their own bedrooms. What a day!

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.

    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.

    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  19. #599
    Axl awoke in the middle of the night, his internal clock unerringly ringing.

    "It's time," he thought.

    He rose from his bed and quietly padded into the communal laundry room where Cake Cream washed their clothes.

    Checking to make certain he wasn't being observed, Axl opened the hamper and reached in...ahhhhh...dirty socks.

    Ever since he was a teen he had a fixation, a sexual obsession, with dirty socks: the dirtier and smellier the better he got off.

    Axl dropped trou and wrapped a rather nasty sock around his male organ of copulation and then started that old familiar motion, up and down.

    He was soon spent and slinked back to bed.

    "Just another day in Paradise" he mused.
    What, Me Worry?

  20. #600
    They got up the next day and ate and got ready for the day.

    On Social Media, the Paparazzi had filmed themselves chasing Axl and Mike's LYFT car. It went viral. Also, the Youtuber's video of Axl and Mike in a cop car went viral too. Police confirmed that Axl and Mike had not been arrested yesterday, they were just getting police escort after Paparazzi stalked and harassed them.

    Axl looked at Mike deeply and said,"I'm sorry our fun alone time yesterday got ruined by the Paparazzi and the YouTuber yesterday."

    Mike said, "We still had fun. I enjoyed going to Dunkin Donuts and the movies with you yesterday." Mike smiled. Axl smiled back.

    Axl wondered if he and James had ever had spent time alone together.

    Axl asked Mike,"Have James and I ever had alone time?" Mike said,"I don't think so.."

    Maybe James and I should have alone outings together today like you and I had yesterday," Axl said thoughtfully.

    That might be fun for you and James, hopefully your outing day will end better than ours.

    Axl smiled. Axl went to James's room and asked him if he'd like to have fun outings alone with Axl. James was okay with this and they got ready to do alone together outings today. They told Billy, Jinmy, Mike, and Andy their plans and they were all like,"Okay." Axl and James put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left.

    They went to the bar and bought some wings, fries, and coke and rum and ate at drank and amicably chatted.

    Axl asked James,"How do you feel being the Lead Guitarist for Cake Cream?"

    James responded,"I love it. The Guitar is like an extension of my soul and I wouldn't have it anyway. I love being a part of Cake Cream and I love our Cake Cream Family wouldn't give it up for anything in the world." James was smiling.

    Axl smiled back.

    James asked,"How do you feel being our Manager, Power Of Attorney, Lawyer, Brother, Boyfriend to Billy, and Backup Singer for Cake Cream?

    Axl responded,"I love everything about it. I wouldn't give you guys up for anything in the world."

    James said,"I can't believe I temporarily threw away a good Brothership with Jimmy by having sex with Allison. I'm so sorry I ever did that and am beyond grateful that Jimmy forgave me. "

    Axl said,"We all know you're sorry for having sex with Allison. It was a one time impulsive decision that you never repeated and broke things off permanently with Allison, thank God.

    James smiled. They continued eating the fries, wings, and drinking the coke and rum, just enjoying each other's company.

    Axl asked James,"What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a child?"

    James responded,"I wanted to be a guitar player when I was a child.

    Axl said,"I'm impressed that you wanted to be as guitar player even as a child."

    James smiled. Kid me would be so proud of Adult me being a world renowned Lead Guitarist!"

    Axl responded,"Yes, kid you would be proud of you. You really are a great guitar god. Your guitar playing is some of the best guitar playing I have ever heard!" Axl was smiling.

    James said with a smile,"Thank you!"

    Fans came up to James and Axl and begged for Autographs and Selfies . They also pointed out that James and Axl had finally been on an outing alone. Axl and James blushed shyly and gave them the Autographs and Selfies. The Fans were happy and thanked them and they welcomed them and the Fans went back to their tables. James and Axl continued chatting and then went to the mall and did some shopping. They had fun, just chatting and enjoying each other's company.

    They went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. James and Axl enjoyed their fun outing that ended up being all the way fun, no Paparazzi stalking and harassing them and no YouTuber filming them in a cop car. Cake Cream and Axl all chilled and then fell asleep.

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.

    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.

    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

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