Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[MisterV]

Tasha, I see you posted a boat-load of new Axl Rose bullshit at WoW and what do you know, just as before NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.

No comments about it at all...crickets.

It's as if DaVinci unveiled the Mona Lisa and nobody noticed; I mean, it's as if a horse dumped a load of road apples in the street and people avoided the ugliness and the stench.

Yeah, that's more like what I meant.

Can you embarrass yourself any more than you already have?

Time will tell...I'm sure that you will keep trying in your unending campaign to be thought of as a "normal" poster (epic fail, btw).

Face the facts: you do NOT have a future as a writer of fiction: I've told you this before but for whatever reason you continue to believe in yourself, which clearly is a huge mistake: you bring NOTHING to the table.

Hell, I wouldn't be posting my screeds here, piggy-backing off your tale, were the quality of your story more tolerable but it is simply so horrible that I cannot resist hurling off the cuff brickbats.

[Tasha]

My Fictional Axl Rose as a Lawyer is good at making reasonable doubt, saying something like," Billy wears a motorcycle helmet when he goes out. It could have been ANYONE that you sold Cocaine and Subutex to. Do you have proof that you sold Cocaine and Subutex to Billy?" When a drug dealer in Court claimed that he sold Cocaine and Subutex to Billy. I didn't even know I was creating reasonable doubt when I wrote that and learned what reasonable doubt was when I was called for Jury Duty.

[MisterV]

If in fact you truly had a good grasp of the concept of "reasonable doubt" you would certainly be keenly aware that there is much reasonable doubt as to your future as a writer of fiction.

[Tasha]

If in fact you truly had a good grasp of the concept of "reasonable doubt" you would certainly be keenly aware that there is much reasonable doubt as to your future as a writer of fiction.

Reasonable doubt is plain making jury doubt that the alleged criminal ACTUALLY did the crime, such as when Allison Peters claimed that James raped her on May 1st,when James was in fact in the hospital all day May 1st and Axl pointed out that there was hospital records to back this up. James had an airtight alibi, couldn't have raped Alison when he was in the hospital the entire day.

[MisterV]

Apples and oranges.

You talk about characters raping bodies, but I am referring to you attempting to rape a reader's mind.

[Tasha]

What is the legal term for pointing out inconsistencies such as a "Victim," claiming someone raped them the same day they were in a hospital all day?

[MisterV]

What is the legal term for pointing out inconsistencies such as a "Victim," claiming someone raped them the same day they were in a hospital all day?

The Latin term is "Non mentior:" i.e. "They lie."

But don't try that with Judge V., he'll simply respond "Quid omnes faciunt" i.e. "So what, they all do."

I suggest you have Axl speak in pig-Latin when he's in front of Judge V.

[Garnabby]

Making or filing a false police report?

[Tasha]

Making or filing a false police report?

My Fictional Axl Rose does call out Allison for committing Perjury in Court, prompting her to break down and cry and admit she lied about James and Jimmy raping her, admitting she just wanted money and revenge for them both dumping her.

[Garnabby]

Not much fun stuff going on, this evening, and, so, I photocopied my hands, as in finger prints, etc. Ha.





At least on the numerology sites, at least someone was able to do the palm reading bit. Ha.

[MisterV]

Whoa...dude, are you a mulatto?

A product of miscegenation, perhaps?

[Tasha]

The next day, Axl and Mike got up and ate and got ready for the day. Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy were still asleep.

On Social Media, Rebecca Martin said she was suing Mike for sexual assault. For 20 Million.

"Oh no, " Mike and Axl said in unison.

Axl said,"Mike, I'm your Lawyer and Rebecca has no legal legs to stand on. The Statute Of Limitations for Florida ran out last year. Rebecca CAN'T sue you for sexual assault. " Mike had a troubled look on his face. Axl immediately picked up on Mike's troubled expression. .

Axl said,"Mike, you should look HAPPY that the Statute Of Limitations ran out for you in Florida, not troubled. "

Mike said," I'm going to Miami SeaWorld."

Axl said,"SeaWorld is in Orlando, not Miami. Did you mean Miami Seaquarium?"

Mike said,"Yep, Miami Seaquarium is what I meant."

Axl said,"I'm going to Miami Seaquarium with you."

Mike said,"I'm going to Parrot Jungle."

Axl said,"I'm going to Parrot Jungle with you "

Mike said,"I'm going to the Port Of Miami."

Axl said,"I'm going to the Port Of Miami with you "

Mike said,"I'm going to the Supermarket."

Axl said,"I'm going to the Supermarket with you "

Mike said,"I'm going to Disney World."

Axl said,"I'm going to Disney World with you."

Mike shook his head. "I just want to go out alone, Axl."

Axl said,"Is there anything you want to confess to me, Mike? Remember, I'm your Lawyer and will defend you."

Mike took a deep breath and said,"I kissed Rebecca Martin without asking her permission in Delaware, not Florida."

Axl looked up Delaware's Statute Of Limitations for sexual offenses and was HORRIFIED to learn that Delaware has NO Statute Of Limitations for sexual offenses. Meaning that Rebecca Martin could sue Mike for sexual assault.

Axl said,"Oh my God! I assumed this happened in FLORIDA! Mike, why didn't you tell me right off the bat that you kissed Rebecca without her permission in DELAWARE and not FLORIDA? "

Mike shook his head and didn't know how to answer Axl.

Axl said,"We agreed to be more open with each other." Cake Cream and Axl knew once,"We agreed to be more open with each other," was said, that was a prompt for them to open up about whatever they were hiding from each other."

Mike took a deep breath and said,"Because I didn't know Rebecca would sue me. I was hoping this would blow over REALLY quickly.

Axl said,"But it didn't blow over REALLY quickly. It's gotten even WORSE."

Mike said,"I know." Mike said,"Maybe I can just settle out of Court and give Rebecca the 20 Million to get her to leave me alone."

Axl shook his head. "Paying her 20 Million to get her to leave you alone won't help. It'll just make it WORSE for you because then multiple Women, LOTS of Women, Women you've never even SEEN before will be "Coming forward," with claims that you sexually assaulted them too, hoping to get 20 Million from you too. Settling out of Court is the WORST thing you can do. You need to take this thing to Trial, not settle out of Court for 20 Million for Rebecca."

Mike said,"But, I don't want to end up in Prison."

Axl said,"No one is going to throw you in Prison for a kiss you, at then five gave to another then five year old girl. If you had RAPED Rebecca at say age 16, that would have been a COMPLETELY different story. Axl's face got dark and Axl asked,"Mike, the girl you lost your virginity to at 16 was CONSENSUAL, right?"

Mike said,"Of course the sex I had with my Girlfriend at 16 was CONSENSUAL. I have NEVER raped anyone."

Axl breathed a sigh of relief. Axl said,"Okay, good, you didn't rape anyone."

Mike nodded.

Axl said," Once again, you want to fight this in Court with a Trial. We're going to have to travel to Delaware where the incident happened."

Mike said,"I REALLY don't want to travel to Delaware."

Axl said,"Since it happened in Delaware, that's where we have to travel to.

Mike gave a reluctant sigh and relented. Axl was right. On Social Media, Rebecca said she was filling the sexual assault Lawsuit against Mike for Delaware for three days from now.

Crap! Axl and Mike said simultaneously.

Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy woke up and the fiasco was explained.

Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all said that they would be flying to Delaware in support of Mike.

Mike and Axl smiled at the support of Billy, James, Andy, and Jimmy.. They all chilled.

The next day, Mike got his copy of the Summons/Lawsuit and answered it.

They chilled for the next couple of days and then put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to Miami International Airport and flew to Wilmington International Airport for the Rebecca Martin vs Mike Smith lawsuit tomorrow. They booked a couple of nights at the Hilton and chilled and chatted and then went to sleep.

[MisterV]

Mike couldn't sleep, so he left the Hilton in the middle of the night and went for a walk.

"Man, I need SOMETHING" he muttered.

He entered an all night diner and saw a familiar face: "Hunter Biden, my old friend: how are things going with you?"

Humter sniffed loudly and said "Hi Mike. Shitty, or haven't you heard I'm in trial?"

"Me too, and no, I don't read the news."

They chatted like the old friends they were, and Hunter invited Mike back to his place to "work on trial strategies."

At his home Hunter broke out his stash and poured some healthy lines of Peruvian flake on the kitchen table: he took a snort as did Mike, then they did some more, and then some more...

At dawn Mike stumbled back into his bed at the Hilton, thouroughly brain-melted yet filled with untrammeled zeal.

"I'm invinciible" he muttered before falling asleep...three minutes later his alarm clock rang.

[Garnabby]

Whoa...dude, are you a mulatto?

A product of miscegenation, perhaps?

You guys missed the most telling part. Too bad that Finkle isn't in this thread. That guy catches everything. Ha.

[MisterV]

Garnabby, that was pretty silly dousing your hands with toner.

Not that I am clamoring for it, but don't you think that virgin Karen would have preferred a dick pic?

Maybe sprinkle it with toner first so she feels more comfortable.

Just sayin'.

[Garnabby]

Not much fun stuff going on, this evening, and, so, I photocopied my hands, as in finger prints, etc. Ha.





At least on the numerology sites, at least someone was able to do the palm reading bit. Ha.

The farther parts of things, from the scanner, seem to naturally turn out darker.

[Tasha]

The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the Courthouse.

At the Courthouse, they got processed and it was time for the Trial to start. This was different than the usual Court cases that Cake Cream and Axl went to. This was a TRIAL and not just a Court Case. There was a Jury of 12 people.

Mike felt nervous that these 12 people were going to put him in Prison for a KISS he gave a five year old girl when he was a five year old boy.

Axl told him to not worry, once again, it was just a kiss. Billy, James, Jimmy, and Andy tried to ease Mike's worried mind. Mike tried to relax but found it hard too.

Axl said,"I've NEVER lost a Court Case before, and I don't intend to lose today.

Mike said,"Once again, this isn't a mere Court Case, it's a TRIAL.

Axl said,"I've NEVER lost a Trial." He smugly smiled.

Mike said,"You've never WON a Trial either."

Axl said,"Touche, but I'm not going to allow you to be sued for $20 Million or be put into Prison over this.

Mike said,"I hope you're right."

Axl smiled at him. Mike gave an uncertain smile back..

The Trial started and was being televised. Rebecca Martin was there. Rebecca and Mike glared at each other.

Rebecca was allowed to go on the stand. She said,"Mike ruined my life at five when he forced himself on me." He sexually assaulted me. He needs to pay me $20 Million and then go to Prison." She cried.

Axl said,"Miss Martin, you said my client, Mr. Smith forced himself on you and you were sexually assaulted. You didn't say he forced himself IN you. You said,"ON you. Care to tell the Court exactly what happened that day? "

Rebecca's Lawyer said,"Objection, Mr. Rose is badgering my Client, Miss Martin.

The Judge overruled Rebecca's Lawyer's objection stating that Axl was badgering Rebecca since he was just simply asking her to tell what happened that day.

Rebecca looked nervous. She said," He did something to me without my permission."

Axl asked,"Was it sexual Assault as you claim? Remember Miss Martin, you are not allowed to commit Perjury in Court. " Rebecca looked even MORE nervous and said,"Mike touched me inappropriately."

Axl asked,"Care to tell the Court exactly how Mr. Smith touched you inappropriately?"

Rebecca said,"Axl, you shouldn't even be Mike's Lawyer! Mike's your Friend and you Manage him for Cake Cream!" This is a conflict of interest!"

The Judge said he would allow Axl to remain Mr. Smith's Lawyer despite Axl and Mike being Friends and Axl managing Mike. Axl and Mike both thanked the Judge and were welcomed.

Axl asked,"Why did you wait 21 years to press charges against Mr. Smith? Why not press charges much sooner?"

Rebecca knew she only came forward because she wanted to get WEALTHY from using Mike because Mike was the Wealthiest Singer in the world.

"I'm the VICTIM and you're treating me like I'm a LIAR! You're harassing me!" Rebecca said, crying even harder. She couldn't confess she just wanted to be wealthy from Mike.

Axl asked again, "Exactly what happened between you and Me Smith that day?"

Rebecca said,"Axl, leave me alone!" Rebecca said to the Judge, "Please make Axl stop questioning me and make him stop being Mike's Lawyer! " She was freaking out. Mike smirked in his motorcycle helmet.

The Judge said," Since you are pressing charges and seeking a Lawsuit against Mr. Rose's Client, Mr. Rose has every right to question you."

Rebecca cried. Rebecca asked her Lawyer to question Mike instead. She was hoping that her Lawyer would get Mike to confess to Sexual Assault so that she could get the $20 Million and Mike could end up in Prison and she could get a lot of clout for herself for "Standing up for herself," and putting her ,"Predator," in Prison. The Judge allowed Mike to be questioned by Rebecca's Lawyer. Axl told Mike to not confess to sexual assault. Mike nodded. The Judge allowed Rebecca to step down. Rebecca did.

Mike went on the stand.

Rebecca's Lawyer asked,"Mr. Smith, did you sexually assault my Client, Miss Martin?"

Mike answered,"No, I did not. I didn't sexually assault Miss Martin."

Rebecca's Lawyer asked Mike,"Exactly what happened that day in 2001 between you and Miss Martin when you were both five?"

Mike paused. He didn't want to outright admit he kissed Rebecca without her permission.

Out of nowhere, the same Teacher who had told Mike's Mother to make him apologize for kissing Rebecca without her permission spoke up and said that she had irrefutable proof of exactly what happened between Mike and Rebecca that day. The Judge allowed Mike to step down and allowed the Teacher to go on the stand.

She said, In 2001, I was both Miss Martin and Mr. Smith's Teacher. I have a tape of exactly what happened and I can have the Court watch it."

The Judge allowed the tape to be shown. The tape showed that Mike merely KISSED Rebecca while Rebecca looked shocked and the Teacher admonished Mike and made him stand in the corner for a time out.

The Judge said,"This tape shows exactly what happened between Miss Martin and Mr. Smith. Jury, you may make your deliberations." The Jury deliberated and found Mike Not Guilty of Sexual Assault because all he did was kiss Rebecca without her permission.

The Judge said,"The Jury has found Mr. Smith Not Guilty. The Lawsuit and Case against Mr. Smith is Dismissed." He banged his gavel.

Rebecca looked pissed that she lost her lawsuit and charge against Mike. She paid her Lawyer.

The Judge ordered Rebecca to be put in jail for Perjury in Court for falsely claiming that Mike sexually assaulted her when he just kissed her without permission.

Mike, Billy, Axl, James, Jimmy, and Andy all smugly smirked in their motorcycle helmets. Axl won the Trial and Mike didn't have to pay Rebecca any money and wouldn't be going to Prison for this! Instead, REBECCA would be incarcerated instead! It was a win win situation for Cake Cream and Axl!


Rebecca was led out to be out in Custody and Cake Cream and Axl were allowed to leave about 30 minutes later.

They went to Denny's and had a nice lunch, celebrating Axl's first Trial win and Mike beating his case. They paid and left.

[MisterV]

The farther parts of things, from the scanner, seem to naturally turn out darker.

Oh; I didn't know that.

Gee, is that how god makes black people?

[MisterV]

Cake Cream praised Axl as they slurped their strawberry blizzards through wide, custom-made-for-celebrities solid gold Crazy Straws at DQ.

"For a doppelganger who never went to law school you're a great attorney" they all trumpted, the sound of praise blending with their cacophony of tuneful farts.

Never bashful and having an ego which craved more than it deserved, Axl nooded his head and said "Yes, that is true."

While riding their mono-wheels back to their luxurious penthouse suite Axl had a Profound Realization: he was much happier in court than with the band; "Boys, I've decided to quit Cake Cream and open up a Law Office."

Cake Cream ahook his hand and thanked him for all the "good times" and then went online to find his replacement; Axl moved to NYC, opened an office in Trump Tower, and limited his practice representing only one client...Donald Trump.

[Tasha]

After going to Denny's, they went back to the Hilton Hotel and already, the Rebecca Martin vs Mike Smith case was already going viral.

People were saying stuff like,"Wow, Rebecca Martin is a LIAR, Claiming that Mike sexually assaulted her when all he did was kiss her. She REALLY should have just said," Mike kissed me when we were both five, without my permission. What she ACTUALLY said made it seem more like he straight up RAPED her, not merely kissed her. Rebecca knew what she was doing with that claim. Poor Mike, at 26 getting dragged through the mud for a kiss he gave at five years old, 21 years ago.

Cake Cream and Axl were happy with the support that Mike was getting. Mike said, "Thank you Axl for being such a good Lawyer to all of us." Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Mike.

Axl shyly blushed and welcomed Mike.

Rebecca Martin was now in jail for committing Perjury, Mike didn't have to payout $20 Million, and he wasn't going to Prison. Life was looking up for Cake Cream.

Axl said,"We always persevere through the bad times," Axl reminded Cake Cream happily.

They all happily backed him up.

Billy and Axl went to their bedroom and made out and cuddled, happy that Mike beat his Trial. They told each other they loved each other and soon fell asleep.

Meanwhile, James, Andy, Mike, and Jimmy chatted about how happy they were that Mike beat his Trial.

Mike said,"Thank God Axl talked me out of just straight up paying Rebecca $20 Million to get her to leave me alone. It would have been a HUGE mistake. I'm also glad that Axl didn't fire me from Cake Cream like those haters wanted him to do."

Jimmy said,"Axl's a good Lawyer , a good Manager, and a good Friend." Everyone backed up Jimmy.

Andy said,"I can't believe I tried to sell out Axl for just $1,000/$5,000. And then stole $1.6 Billion from you guys. I'm truly sorry."

Mike, James, and Jimmy all said they knew that Andy was sorry for what he did. They all told them they loved him like a Brother.

Andy smiled happily, happy that he had five Brothers who all loved him and vice versa.

Mike said,"Hopefully with me beating my Trial, I will no longer be called a Rapist.

Jimmy and James were like,"Yeah, being called a Rapist is no fun. They looked at each other awkwardly, remembering Allison accusing them of raping her, and the rift she caused in their Friendship.

Mike said,"And now both Allison and Rebecca are in jail for their lying actions, good riddance to them both!" Everyone was happy that both of these lying Women were behind bars.

Andy said,"I'm glad that Allison and Rebecca are no longer a threat. I just wish Matthew was in jail too. He betrayed me for $20 Million, the exact same amount that Rebecca tried to sue Mike for."

James, Jimmy, and Mike consoled Andy over the soul crushing betrayal that Matthew did to him.

Andy smiled at the support of his Brothers. Andy was truly happy with his five Brothers. Andy, James, Jimmy, and Mike all chatted and chilled more and then went to sleep.