Originally Posted by
ilovebigknockers
Natashathan pushed down one slat of her miniblinds to check if the man was still outside. He was. She had turned off all the lights in the house, save for the light inside the toaster oven where she was cooking a single serving no-contact boxed pizza. She farted softly. The man stood stock still about 5 yards from the house, directly across from her bedroom window. His face was obscured by a garrish plastic Axl Rose Halloween mask and a cheap costume wig. His left arm dangled at his side, his right held an ominous red helium balloon on a string.
She stepped away from the window to attend to her pizza. When she came back to the window with a greasy paper plate in hand she gulped before pushing down the slat again. There he was, 2 yards closer and now holding 2 helium balloons. Natashathan screamed with all her breath, "What do you want???"
Suddenly her phone vibrated. There was a new text message from an unknown number. It read, "boo." She looked again and there he was now a mere foot away from the window. In both hands he held dozens of helium balloons. She had never been more scared in her life and instinctively took a huge bite of her pizza to comfort herself. Unfortunately it was too big, and she began to choke. With no one in the house to perform the Heimlich maneuver, she perished.
THE END