Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[MisterV]

Jimmy let fly a bountiful bowser in his Calvin Kleins, temporarily transfixed by the gore displayed before him; he espied how the killer had decapitated the members of Cake Cream and matched heads to the wrong body.

"Pretty clever," he opined.

Karen reached down, intending to rearrange the heads yet again, but Jimmy blurted "Hold, woman: that is man's work."

She blushed, thanked him, and was welcomed; Jimmy moved Andy's head and placed it facing Axl's crotch.

"As in death, so in life" he intoned; to further eulogize the somber event he let loose a deep, deep rumbler, the type that would challenge the best sub-woofer.

"What should we do next?' queried the damsel.

"Well, you're a virgin and these guys have rigor mortis..."

She caught his drift, smiled, and said "OK, but don't you dare watch."

"I won't."

But he did...

[Tasha]

You guys have completely fucked up my story. I'm out of here!

[MisterV]

Cool...but just one thing first: did you come?

[pinchingyourballs]

Axl thanked Judge V. for finally putting him out of his misery and was welcomed.

[MisterV]

Karen thanked the readers at VCT for reading her tome and they welcomed her and shook hands virtually.

"Nobody gives a flying fuck about my work of fiction at WOV" she whined; "They just ignore me and talk about more important shit, like unicycles and what they ate."

Ah, but not us at VCT...on this board we relish your tale of time travel, doppelgangers and of course necrophilia.

For your next performance have the locale of your new work of fiction be Las Vegas and center it around the online shenanigans, peccadilloes and gastro-intestinal disorders of characters from WOV and VCT: given your inability to tell a coherent tale it should be a laugh riot.

Ta-ta...

[Garnabby]

Instead of taking the elevator up to the top to the luxurious penthouse suite at the James L Knight Center, he decided he and his companion could use the exercise after all those blizzards, so they took the stairs, which increased the total length of their trek by 2.68545200106530644530971483548179569382%.

This ties in with my post about Spike's number of posts, a while back when he took a few weeks from posting at the WoV.

Say, did anyone notice that EvenBob stopped at 28,561 posts at the WoV? That's 13^4. Ha.

https://wizardofvegas.com/forums/

Or, that e*13.4 is about 36.4249765014, or [(37 - 1) + 0.42] ---> 371_142?

Or that (36.7879441171 - 36.4249765014) is about 0.3629676157, or [(7 +30 - 1) / 100] ---> 1/137?

Ha.

https://vegascasinotalk.com/forum/sh...l=1#post174733

I will write it up, as soon as I have a free minute, or two. Ha.


Garnabby Garnabby is online now
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1,073 ----------------------------> 137

[Garnabby]

Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs

Instead of taking the elevator up to the top to the luxurious penthouse suite at the James L Knight Center, he decided he and his companion could use the exercise after all those blizzards, so they took the stairs, which increased the total length of their trek by 2.68545200106530644530971483548179569382%.

This ties in with my post about Spike's number of posts, a while back when he took a few weeks from posting at the WoV.

Say, did anyone notice that EvenBob stopped at 28,561 posts at the WoV? That's 13^4. Ha.

https://wizardofvegas.com/forums/

Or, that e*13.4 is about 36.4249765014, or [(37 - 1) + 0.42] ---> 371_142?

Or that (36.7879441171 - 36.4249765014) is about 0.3629676157, or [(7 +30 - 1) / 100] ---> 1/137?

Ha.

https://vegascasinotalk.com/forum/sh...l=1#post174733

I will write it up, as soon as I have a free minute, or two. Ha.


Garnabby Garnabby is online now
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1,073 ----------------------------> 137

Okay, if fiddle with the decimal point, as in Spike's case,

2 * 68545200106530644530971483548179569382 = 1 * (1.370904002131 × 10^38), which goes to 137, to begin, and, 138 = (1 + 137) ---> 1/137, to end, as exponents of 1, and,

2 ^ 68545200106530644530971483548179569382 = 10 ^ (2.063416129086 × 10^37), which goes to (-1.01 + 3.07) ---> 1/137, to begin, and, 137, to end, as exponents of 10 ---> 1.

So, there are four 137's, and, as many 142's, if take the 1's as "one over" the 137's.

But, where's the analogous 1/142, from within Spike's case?

e * (13 * 4) = 141.35065508 ---> 141 = (-1 + 142) ---> 1/142.

So, it was a fortuitous moment that Spike, and, then, ILBK, chose to leave, but, then, return to their respective forums. Ha.

Of course, I'll have to write that constant, too, in terms of the fine-structure constants. But, based on the sequence of 6, 14, 26, 42, and so on.

[pinchingyourballs]

Jimmy, the sole survivor of the Cake Cream Massacre, had a hard time readjusting to life as a person not part of a band or as an oft overlooked side character in bad fan fiction. Now as a hobo he spent many hours inside the downtown library trying to better himself through reading and digging through slightly better trash than could be found elsewhere. While pacing the aisles, he espied a math text, dusty and dingy from disuse for more than 50 years. I can count to twenty, he mused, how hard could 'Compendium of Mathematical Constants with Their Derivations and Uses' be?

He sat down on a seat covered with another hobo's pee and flipped to a random page. Hmm, he mused, 2.68545200106530644530971483548179569382 is Khinchin's continued fraction constant, defined as the geometric mean of the coefficients in the continued fraction expansion of any real number x. Jimmy wondered if anyone else knew about this number. He farted loudly in excitement, loud enough for a nearby library patron to shush him. He tried dialing it on his homeless shelter issued cellphone, and to his delight it resolved to an actual phone number.

"Hello? May I ask who is calling?"

Jimmy immediately ended the call and his heart pounded. He knew that voice anywhere. What were the odds? How could it be?

[MisterV]

Jimmy flinched when his gov't supplied phone rang, the ring tone having been preset by the supplier to Napoleon X!V's hit song "
They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-Haaa!"

It was the same number!

Jimmy felt liquid warmth flow down his leg as the stench of fresh feces permeated the air to a redolent degree.

With much apprehension he accepted the call.

"Where the fuck have you bee?" yelled Karen; "I've been looking all over for you."

"uh---why?"

"To introduce you to OUR child, Jimmy: WE had a bouncing baby girl. I named her "Bingo."

Again Jimmy soaked his leg; "But we only did it one time, you know, that time at the James L. Knight center...after you finished with "the boys" you were insatiable in your new-found lust. You threatened to bean me with your hideous handbag if I couldn't "do" you til the cows came home."

"Jimmy, it's not really ME that's looking for you, it's the state child support people."

Once again his leg got soaked: it felt...calming.

"But I have no money, Karen, and no prospects to earn any: I've been lost since Cake Cream got iced."

"Whatever, Jimmy. Look, I got to go. Bingo just shit on the floor after eating some fried chicken, and now she's smearing it on the wall."

Jimmy thought "Like mother, like daughter."

At that moment there was the sound of a huge explosion; the library shook, the lights flickered, sheet-rock dust filled the air; Jimmy escaped only to see a fleet of what looked like flying penises overhead, spewing death rays from their alien pee-holes.

Jimmy had an idea...

[MisterV]

The erstwhile Cake Creamer, now a homeless piece of shit, grabbed his trusty, hand drawn cardboard "Will work for food" sign and changed "work" to "betray humanity."

Jimmy waved the sign at the engorged interstellar love missile which paused its ejaculation of death plasma to espy his distraction.

He was bathed in some form of ray and quickly teleported to the flight deck of the tumescent shaft.

At the helm was what could only be best described as a large, rat-like creature atop a unicycle, festooned in a wizard's cap.

"At last" squeaked the alien: "Someone we can work with."

Jimmy and the "wizard" were kindred souls: they soon came to an understanding and sealed the deal with mutually tuneful farts.

A bit dazed, the soon to be Benedict Arnold was returned to the surface where he quickly put the plan into action; "This is gonna be good." he mused.

Alas, he failed as a prognosticator; it was not good, it was in fact bad, very, very bad.

[Garnabby]

Oh, I don't know now.

Alas, he failed as a prognosticator; it was not good, it was in fact bad, very, very bad.

---> Boca Raton Florida East Coast Railway Passenger Station.

https://anagram-solver.net/Alas,%20h....?partial=true


And not so far from the James L. Knight Center. Ha.

[Tasha]

The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day.

They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and left the hotel room and checked out.

They went to the Wilmington International Airport and flew back to Miami and went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite.

They unpacked and all fell asleep, exhausted.

The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day.

Axl decided to make Cake Cream and himself all sign Contracts stating that they wouldn't turn on each other. He drew up the Contract and called Billy, Andy, Mike, Jimmy, and James to his and Billy's room.

He presented them with the contract and they all thought it was a good idea. They all read, understood, agreed, and signed. Cake Cream left Axl and Billy's room and watched TV in the living room. Axl's cellphone rang and he picked it up.

The District Attorney informed Axl that being Cake Cream's Lawyer without ever going to Law School or having a Law Degree, having a Law license, or passing the Bar was a Felony and Axl could spend time behind bars for this.

Axl's face lost color at this news and he Impulsively begun speaking Spanish.

"No tiendo, Senor!" No Hables Ingles!"

The District Attorney was not amused. "Mr. Rose, please stop playing games. You're in big trouble."

Axl dropped the act and said in English,"Please don't press charges against me. I only wanted to help Cake Cream out."

The District Attorney said,"Mr. Rose, breaking the law is a serious offense. I get that you wanted to help out Cake Cream, but you should have done this the right way. You are due in Court in two days for this." The District Attorney gave him the information.

Axl was shocked. The District Attorney and he had a terse conversation and then said their goodbyes and hung up.

Axl told Cake Cream what the District Attorney told him.

Cake Cream all simultaneously said,"No!" In complete shock and horror.

Jimmy said,"We don't want you in jail over this!"

James said," You are such a good Lawyer to us and helped us out so many times."

Billy said,"We're not going to let you be be behind bars for this."

Andy said,"You are our Lawyer, who cares if you didn't go to Law School, don't have a Law Degree don't have a Law license, and didn't pass the Bar?

Mike said,"We signed Contracts stating that you are our Lawyer, that will help you out with this."

Axl was touched by Cake Cream's support for him. He thanked them all and was welcomed.

Axl decided he needed to hire a Lawyer for his upcoming Case. He refused to represent himself. Cake Cream all backed up his decision. Axl smiled and went to a Law Firm and hired a Lawyer for his case. A Lawyer that actually went to Law School, had a Degree had a law license, and passed the bar. Axl paid the Lawyer half.

Axl and his Lawyer discussed his upcoming Case and Axl left the Law Firm and went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and told Cake Cream about his Lawyer.

Cake Cream supported Axl. Billy and Axl went to their room and kissed, Billy knowing that his Boyfriend needed his support. Axl was grateful for Billy's love.

Axl fell asleep soon and Billy went to the living room and James, Jimmy, Mike, Andy, and Billy all chatted about Axl's upcoming Court Case.

They all said they would be going to Axl's Court Case to defend him. They all pointed out what a good Lawyer he was to them. They felt he was their Lawyer no matter what the law said.

They ate some pizza and drank some soda, still chatting about Axl's predicament.

Axl woke up and ate some pizza and drank some soda too. They all chatted about Axl's predicament and Cake Cream told Axl they would be at his Court Case to support him.

Axl blushed and smiled happily at the support and love of his Cake Cream Boyfriend and Cake Cream Brothers. Axl was happy to have them in his life.

Cake Cream and Axl all chilled and chatted and soon fell asleep.

[pinchingyourballs]

Is Tasha's Spanish so rusty that she can't put Spanish words in Axl's mouth correctly, or is she trying to convey that the character Axl speaks Spanish so poorly he can't say two of the most basic phrases?

[Tasha]

Is Tasha's Spanish so rusty that she can't put Spanish words in Axl's mouth correctly, or is she trying to convey that the character Axl speaks Spanish so poorly he can't say two of the most basic phrases?

The real Axl couldn't had trouble speaking Spanish. He relied on a Translator/Interpreter when doing Concerts for South America Countries.

Anyways, my Fictional Axl used Spanish correctly. He said,"No tiendo Senor, which translates to"I don't understand, Sir. And ,"No Hables Ingles which translates to "I don't speak English," in Spanish.

[pinchingyourballs]

Tasha's cellphone rang. She picked it up and was about to say "Hello" when she thought better of it and instead said "Haló?" in Hungarian. On the other end was uber-hack Stephen King, her idol, a man who made up for lack of talent in sheer volume, something Tasha aspired to daily.

"Tasha," the whiny voice began, "Are you aware it is illegal to write fiction without an MFA in Creative Writing? Only a credentialed master of fine arts can write as much as you do, including fan fiction."

Tasha's heart pounded. She had no idea she was in violation of the rules for writers. Thinking on her feet she said "Nem ertem. Nem beszélek angolul."

"Cut the crap, Tasha. I know you speak English and that you only know a handful of phrases in Hungarian, which you only learned from pinching your balls."

Feeling the heat, Tasha repeated, "Nem ertem."

"So that's the way you want to play? Let's make a bet. If you can say something other than tourist phrases in Hungarian, you can continue writing your fan fiction without a meaningless credential. If you can't, then you have to stop writing."

Tasha was flustered and incensed. Who the hell was this hack to tell her to stop writing? He didn't have an MFA either. But Tasha had a trick up her sleeve, you see, she had once been engaged to a Hungarian billionaire and still remembered more than just tourist phrases.

"A te könyveid rosszak, a fiadé pedig rosszabbak."

Now it was Stephen King's turn to be taken aback. "Well played, Tasha. Well played." He hung up and Tasha breathed a sigh of relief. And now, on to more important matters. She cracked her knuckles and began:

It was a dark and stormy night in the luxurious penthouse suite...

[pinchingyourballs]

Is Tasha's Spanish so rusty that she can't put Spanish words in Axl's mouth correctly, or is she trying to convey that the character Axl speaks Spanish so poorly he can't say two of the most basic phrases?

The real Axl couldn't had trouble speaking Spanish. He relied on a Translator/Interpreter when doing Concerts for South America Countries.

Anyways, my Fictional Axl used Spanish correctly. He said,"No tiendo Senor, which translates to"I don't understand, Sir. And ,"No Hables Ingles which translates to "I don't speak English," in Spanish.

You don't even know what you don't know. Classic Tasha!

[MisterV]

Axl awoke during the middle of the night to find Billy bent over, crying out sharply in pain.

"That god damned gerbil, Axl...you forgot to remove him."

Axl went pale: what to do?

He ran to the kitchen, grabbed a couple of butter knives and returned to the boudoir: "I'll take care of it, my love...after all, I'm a proctologist."

Without further ado Axl spread Billiy's butt cheeks wide open with the knives and peered deep within with a flashlight.

"I see him, he's chomping away on some polyps. Let me use these pliers..."

Oops.

Axl missed the gerbil and accidentally removed Billy's appendix.

"No harm done, you don't need it anyway."

Alas his words of assurance fell upon dead ears as Billy quickly expired from massive blood loss.

"Uh-oh" realized Axl, "I really fucked the pooch on this one."

Not wanting to incur the full wrath of the law he rolled Billy into a carpet, concealing him, then hoisted the carpet on to his shoulder; he took the elevator out, telling the desk clerk "Just doing some cleaning."

Axl drove out deep into the Everglades and dumped Billy into a 'gator infested area; he watched with morbid curiosity as Billy was shredded and consumed.

He stopped at DQ on the way back to Miami and enjoyed a strawberry blizzard.

"I need to get a new gerbil" he realized; oh, the demands of modern life...

[Tasha]

Is Tasha's Spanish so rusty that she can't put Spanish words in Axl's mouth correctly, or is she trying to convey that the character Axl speaks Spanish so poorly he can't say two of the most basic phrases?

The real Axl couldn't had trouble speaking Spanish. He relied on a Translator/Interpreter when doing Concerts for South America Countries.

Anyways, my Fictional Axl used Spanish correctly. He said,"No tiendo Senor, which translates to"I don't understand, Sir. And ,"No Hables Ingles which translates to "I don't speak English," in Spanish.

You don't even know what you don't know. Classic Tasha!

I did get the Spanish right. I don't know why you said that.

[pinchingyourballs]

The real Axl couldn't had trouble speaking Spanish. He relied on a Translator/Interpreter when doing Concerts for South America Countries.

Anyways, my Fictional Axl used Spanish correctly. He said,"No tiendo Senor, which translates to"I don't understand, Sir. And ,"No Hables Ingles which translates to "I don't speak English," in Spanish.

You don't even know what you don't know. Classic Tasha!

I did get the Spanish right. I don't know why you said that.

I wrote that because you got it wrong. It was close, but not correct, which I why I asked if your Spanish was rusty of if you were trying to convey how dumb Axl is.

I don't understand, sir. = No entiendo, señor.

I don't speak English = No hablo inglés.

[Tasha]

The Spanish line was just one throw away line. The bulk is Axl being in trouble for practicing law without a degree, passing the Bar, no law school, and no license, a felony in the U.S.