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Thread: Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

  1. #341
    Once again Billy and Axl tromped up the cracked marble stairs to the second floor of the courthouse; an odor of fear and desperation permeated the air.

    Axl's mouth fell open when they walked into the courtroom: "Uh-oh, it's Judge V."

    "Well now, back for more?" snickered the daft legal eagle.

    "We are here for justice" responded Axl; Billy shook Axl's meaty paw for being so on top of things; Axl thanked him and was welcomed in return.

    "Oh, I'll give you guys some justice. Bailiff, arrest Axl and throw him in irons."

    Axl was arrested and several hot irons were taped to his body, causing him to scream, writhe and moan until he passed out.

    "Next time it'll be the chair" smiled Judge V.

    The bailiff yanked Axl out of the courtroom with a meat hook, leaving Billy quaking before the stoned jurist, all alone.

    "Now, as for YOU, Billy: how long can you tread water?"

    Billy feared his future was going to be wet indeed.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-18-2023 at 02:37 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  2. #342
    Jimmy, James, Andy, and Mike were huddled around a trash fire in a drainage ditch. Patiently had they waited for their chance to be more than background scenery in a shitty fan fiction about a shitty band, but their creator Tasha had forsaken them. Dejected, they had all left the mansion they were living in rent-free and embraced the freedom and self-determination of life on the streets.

    "I'm so glad I don't have to shake hands, thank people, and chat for a while any more," said Andy, as he stretched out his legs and arms and took in the night sky. "I feel like I could do anything right now!"

    Mike stirred his Dinty Moore beef stew slowly, lost in thought. Then he looked up and mused, "Yeah, so what would you do? I mean, you've never owned your own mansion, dated a girl who wasn't a groupie or Walgreens shelf stocker, never ordered your own Blizzard at DQ and chosen the flavor that you wanted. Do any of us even know how to live?"

    Jimmy chimed in, "Being real characters is so much harder than Axl and Billy make it look. It's like someone is always guiding them to new and unexpected adventures while we just stand around with our dicks in our hands thanking Billy and Axl and being there when they get home from their adventures."

    "What we need is a random word generator," suggested James. He took out his phone and navigated to a random word generator site to find some inspiration. "Ok guys, check this out. Palace, seminar, ride, sequence, mutation. Let's get some ideas flowing so we can pass them up the chain to Tasha."

    "Hmm," hummed Andy. "I could go to Europe and visit a palace and then have a wacky adventure that ends in me marrying some royal chick."

    "I could go to a seminar about blow jobs," suggested Mike. "Oh wait, Axl already did that. Man, fuck that guy, he always does everything first."

    "I could ride a pony," suggested Jimmy, who had the lowest IQ of the group.

    "I'm going to become a geneticist who studies gene sequences that are mutations." declared James confidently.

    "But you didn't even go to college." protested Mike.

    "Neither did Tasha," shrugged James.

  3. #343
    Tasha viewed the above words on her 'puter screen with an increasing sense of disappointment, anger and alarm.

    "This will never do" she said to her cat: "I created those ungrateful characters, I can destroy them."

    Tasha firmly hit the 'delete' key.

    At first there was nothing, but then she noticed everything in her room started to flicker, like it was infused with pixie dust.

    Soon the flickering stopped and her surroundings began to disappear; she looked down toward the cat only to see that Plato was gone, a puff of smoke in his place.

    "Hey, this isn't the scenario I wrote" she thought; "what the fuck is happening?"

    Suddenly a booming voice filled the room; lightning flashed and thunder pealed, causing Tasha to fart and queef like one of Henry VIII's wives after being beheaded.

    "You disappointed me, so I too hit 'delete.' " was the last thing Tasha heard before she too disappeared.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-18-2023 at 06:09 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  4. #344
    Axl asked Cream Rose if they wanted to flat out admit to the Hotel Staff that they were homeless and ask if they could add another Month to the hotel.



    Cream Rose had qualms about telling the Hotel Staff that they were homeless. They looked at the ground shyly.



    Axl said,"Come on, we're still wealthy. It's not like we're street bums. We're just the wealthy homeless and besides, the Hotel Staff already knows that that we're homeless. We just have to ask to extend the Hotel stays. There is nothing wrong with asking for help guys. Besides, I used to actually live on the actual streets before making it big, we're not as bad as that."



    The rest of Cream Rose chatted with each other and came to the conclusion that Axl was right.



    They told Axl he was right and he smiled. They all went to the front desk and admitted that they were homeless and asked to add a month to their stay.



    The Hotel Staff were like,"We already knew you guys were homeless. Your house burned down. It stands to reason that you don't have a house anymore if it burned down.



    Cream Rose all blushed shyly.



    The Hotel Staff booked them for another month and they all paid. They thanked the hotel staff and were welcomed.



    They all went back to their own rooms.



    On Social Media, there were comments about Cream Rose being homeless. Axl told Billy, "Once again, we're the wealthy homeless, not the poor homeless. " Billy smiled.



    Billy and Axl made out passionately and fell asleep.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  5. #345
    Cream Rose blushed shyly behind her fan. She was an aristocrat's daughter at a fancy ball in Paris in 1765. Her actual French name was Creme de Rose, but she had been studying English, Greek, and Latin with her tutor and like the sound of the English name Cream Rose. Cream Rose was blushing still, when she was espied by Le Comte d'Axl, an elderly lecherous aristocrat who had a reputation for corrupting young ladies.

    "Let's dance, bitch." Le Comte d'Axl barked at Cream Rose. "Ima put some cream in your rose tonight. Your Daddy won't mind. Hell, he didn't mind when I fuced your mother." Le Comte d'Axl used the hot new slang fuced that all the kids were using, but he pronounced it rhyming with goosed. Cream Rose winced.

    "It's pronounced like foo-ked, two syllables, hard c, you stupid dyke." Cream Rose retorted.

    "No, you ignorant slut who only has a 3rd grade education despite being sixteen years old, it's pronounced foosed, one syllable and soft c. I got the hard c for you in my pants though. C stands for cock, just so we're clear." Le Comte d'Axl barked back.

    "Let's settle this with a duel fatso. Each combatant gets a 3 week old baguette and a knife to sharpen it with. Whoever draws blood first is the winner." Cream Rose explained.

    "Draw blood? Naw bitch we're dueling for keeps. Alexander Hamilton - Aaron Burr style."

    Cream Rose squatted and ripped a hot one that sounded like a goose whispering a secret. "Who dat?"

    "Never mind, it's a time-traveler thing. You wouldn't get it because you haven't traveled to the future like I have." Le Comte d'Axl tossed his bouffant wig.

    "Enough shit-talking, you aging-like-milk lesbian. EN GARDE!!!"

    Cream Rose and Le Comte d'Axl dueled with their sharpened baguettes. Despite his age and creaky knees, the Count was agile and dodged Cream Rose's wild swings and off-target lunges. He parried her riposte and was about to execute a fancy maneuver when he took a moment to let rip a rotten brie-scented flapper. That's when Cream Rose made the money shot and impaled her nemesis from anus to esophagus. It was a disgusting spectacle too gruesome even for the Marquis de Sade, who was in attendance and masturbating furiously behind the curtain while watching the epic duel.

    Cream Rose stood over the lifeless body of the lecherous Count. "Foo-ked, bitch."

  6. #346
    Was this you Tasha? https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/18/a...ken-miami.html

    Mr. Gamson said that he was about to point the sculpture out to the group he was with when he saw an unidentified woman tap the sculpture with her finger, knocking it from its pedestal in a booth managed by Bel-Air Fine Art, which has galleries in the United States and Europe.

    At first, Mr. Gamson said, he thought that the fall could be part of a staged performance piece, but then he noticed that the woman was blushing and art fair staff members were rushing over.

  7. #347
    Tasha took a break from writing her First Great Novel and rode her scooter (no money, no car, lost her driver's license due to DWS [driving while stupid]) down the road en route to her favorite chicken shack when she saw what looked like the first, and only, man who'd ever made love to her.

    His back was turned and he was entering a building where some sort of event was happening.

    "Finally" she thought "I'll beard the lion in his den; give ME herpes, will he? I'll tear him a new one" she vowed silently.

    Tasha duct taped the scooter to a phone pole, adjusted her beret to a jaunty angle and entered the building.

    Myriad people were wandering around, sipping wine, bullshitting masterfully and eyeing weird constructs on pedestals: Tasha had never been exposed to art and was baffled.

    "What is this place?" she wondered.

    Somehow the man she was looking for was gone; he must have smelled her coming and darted out the back door (those nasty queefs: too much cheese?).

    Tasha decided to explore: she felt like a newborn calf exploring a barn for the first time.

    She espied a grouping of blue balloons and thought "I could do that too" and so she smiled and approached them.

    Grabbing a Hasidic Jew standing next to her by his hair, she yanked hard and said "I could make this too."

    The Jew yelled "What are you doing?"

    Tasha said "Look, I want to show you something" while swinging her hand to show him the balloons.

    CRASH

    Oh, shit.

    Tasha felt the way Steve Wynn must have felt the time he was pointing out his Picasso to someone when he poked a hole in it.

    "Pretty stupid to make balloons out of glass" she thought, "they break too easily."

    She left and scootered to the hot chicken shack where she ate like a queen.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-19-2023 at 12:22 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  8. #348
    They all chilled for a couple of days, just having fun



    Then it was time for Billy's Court Hearing. Cream Rose got ready for Court. Billy's Court date was for 10 AM. They got up at 7 and got ready for the Court. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.



    At Court, they were all processed and went to the Courtroom.



    Axl and Billy practiced for the Court Hearing. Billy was nervous, but Jimmy, James, Andy, Mike and Axl all comforted him and supported him.



    Court soon started and Axl and Billy were sworn in

    The Prosecutor asked Billy,"What were you doing when your house caught on fire?"


    Billy looked at Axl. Axl said,"You can answer what you were doing when your house caught on fire."



    Billy responded,"I was asleep." Axl responded,"Good." Billy and Axl smiled at each other.



    The Prosecutor asked,"What caused the fire?"



    Billy looked at Axl and Axl told Billy,"You don't have to answer that question. You can plead the fifth."



    Billy responded,"I plead the fifth." Axl responded,"Good." Billy smiled.



    Billy was asked if he was a drug addict. Billy and Axl had looks of panics. They DID not prepare for this scenario.



    Axl said,"Mr. Parks, I advise you to not answer that question. I object to my Client being asked if he is a drug addict since that question is irrelevant in a case about a house fire.



    The Judge overruled the objection and stated he felt it was a relevant question.

    Billy's drug dealer came out of the watching crowd and said he could answer that question. Billy recognized his drug dealer and had a look of panic. The Judge and Prosecutor allowed the drug dealer to testify.



    The Drug Dealer was sworn in and said,"Mr. Parks bought Cocaine and Subutex from me. "



    The Prosecutor asked,"Care to tell the Court what Subutex does?



    The Drug Dealer said," Subutex counteracts drug addiction.



    Billy hung his head low.



    The crowd chattered.



    Axl couldn't believe Billy's Cocaine secret was out like this, in a televised Court Hearing.



    The Prosecutor asked Billy,"Is this true? Are you a Cocaine Addict?"



    Axl responded,"You can plead the fifth."



    Billy responded,"I plead the fifth."



    The Prosecutor pulled up the Cake Cream Show where Billy showed up high on Cocaine after he forgot to take his Subutex.



    The Crowd watched Billy stumble, sweat, his glassy, bloodshot eyes, his jittery manner, him playing the drums sloppily and lazily, etc.



    Axl said,"Objection! Mr. Parks was sick that day because he tested positive for Covid! I tested him myself! The Prosecutor smirked and zoomed in on the Covid test and it showed that Billy actually tested NEGATIVE for Covid.



    The Prosecutor said to the court, let it be known that this shows that Mr. Parks tested NEGATIVE for Covid that day and Mr. Rose claimed in this very Court that Mr. Parks tested POSITIVE for Covid."



    Billy and Axl's case was falling apart.



    Axl still needed to protect Billy. Axl said," This clip is irrelevant as this isn't a drug case, it's a case about a house that caught on fire." Billy smiled gratefully at Axl.

    The Prosecutor said to the Judge and Axl, "This clip is very relevant to this case, because if Mr. Parks is a drug addict, it could be the cause of his house catching on fire. Axl gave the Prosecutor an intimidating icy, cold, death glare. The Judge pointed out the Prosecutor had a valid point. The Judge said he would allow Billy's possible drug addiction to be called into play for his court case. Axl and Billy had no choice.



    To the judge, Axl asked if he could cross examine the Drug Dealer.



    The Judge allowed him to cross examine the Drug Dealer.



    Axl asked," "You say that you sold Cocaine and Subutex to my Client, Mr. Parks, is that right?"



    The Drug Dealer said,"That's right."



    Axl said,"All of Cream Rose wear motorcycle helmets when out like we are now. How could you tell if it was Mr. Parks you sold Cocaine and Subutex to? It could have been ANYONE under the motorcycle helmet."



    The Drug Dealer said,"I knew it was Mr. Parks from his voice."



    Axl asked,"Do you have concrete proof that you sold Cocaine and Subutex to Mr. Parks?"



    The Drug Dealer admitted he didn't have any concrete proof that he sold Cocaine and Subutex to Billy.



    Axl said,"I rest my case."



    The Judge allowed the Drug Dealer to step down. He did. He went back to his seat.



    The Prosecutor straight up asked Billy if he was a Cocaine Addict.



    Axl said,""Objection! You've already asked my Client that question and he's already answered that he plead the fifth. This is badgering my client .You must stop asking him this question.



    The Prosecutor said,"Objection noted. Mr. Parks, are you a drug addict of ANY drugs?



    Axl said,"Mr. Parks, the Drug Dealer has straight up said that he has no concrete proof of selling you a drug. You can still plead the fifth."



    Billy said,"I plead the fifth."



    Axl said,"Good."



    The Prosecutor said,"I'm going to need a Yes or No response, Mr. Parks. Billy looked at Axl.



    Axl responded to the Prosecutor," No you don't. My Client, Mr Parks has the right to remain silent."



    Billy said," I plead the fifth."



    The Prosecutor said,"Mr. Rose shouldn't even be Mr. Parks Lawyer in the first place since they are dating. It's an unethical conflict of interest."



    The Judge said,"It's an unethical conflict of interest, but not illegal. Mr. Parks has the right to hire anyone he chooses to represent him as Lawyer. I will allow Mr. Rose to remain Mr. Park's Lawyer regardless of their personal relationship."



    Billy and Axl smirked.



    There was a temporary recess.
    Last edited by Tasha; 02-19-2023 at 07:38 PM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  9. #349
    Billy slapped Axl out in the hallway and said "You're fired."

    Axl's face and feelings were hurt.

    "Why?"

    "Because you're not winning" said Billy, "And I need a winner."

    Axl thanked him, was welcomed, and shook has hand.

    Since anyone or anything can be or do anything they want according to the ridiculous belief of this tale's author, Axl went to the local hospital to be a doctor and perform brain surgery, while Billy went to the grocery store to secure his new lawyer.

    Billy hired a piece of bread to represent him and not a person.

    Hey why not, with time travel, doppegangers and idiocy running rampant here?

    Recess over, back in court Billy introduced his new attorney; all were shocked to see it was a piece of rye.

    Billy said "Your honor, my new attorney cannot speak, talk, move or think, so I request a mistrial."

    Billy smirked, shook his own hand and felt very clever; "I should change my name to Cardozo, or maybe Learned Hand" he mused.

    But Judge V, high on top shelf cannabis and fortified by a recess blowjob from a grateful criminal defendant, would have none of it.

    "You're both gonna be toast" he pronounced.

    Billy was sentenced to death by Chinese tickle torture; his lawyer was forced into a hot toaster and then made to surround a mound of corned beef, sauerkraut and thousand island dressing and was consumed by Judge V during the course of the day.

    Justice was served, and so was Judge V's reuben sandwich.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-20-2023 at 04:49 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  10. #350
    During the recess, they ate a late breakfast, used the bathroom, Billy and Axl talked more, looked at their cellphones, Mike, Jimmy, James, and Andy also supported Billy more. Soon, the recess was over and Court was back in Session.

    The Prosecutor asked Jimmy, James, Andy, and Mike if they wanted to press charges against Billy for their house burning down. Billy and Axl didn't even think of the possibility that Andy, Mike, James and Jimmy could press charges against Billy for their house burning down.

    James, Andy, Mike and Jimmy all knew that pressing charges against Billy for their house burning down would most likely mean that Billy would be behind bars. They also took into consideration that this was BILLY'S house that burned down, the one that Billy let them live in rent free. Also, if the rest of Cream Rose pressed charges against Billy, Axl would have to be doing double Lawyer duty, he'd have to be Billy's Lawyer and their Lawyer against each other at the same time. So awkward. Also, Billy set the house on fire by accident, not on purpose.

    Axl and Billy begged James, Jimmy, Mike, and Andy to not press charges against Billy telepathetically.

    James, Andy Mike and Jimmy all said they didn't wish to press charges against Billy.

    Axl and Billy breathed sighs of relief and were grateful.

    The Prosecutor asked James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy to come to the stand and speak about Billy.

    Axl was confident that James, Andy, Jimmy, and Mike would help Billy's case, not harm his case. He allowed James, Jimmy, Andy, and Mike to go on the stand

    The Prosecutor asked all of them what kind of person Billy was.

    James, Jimmy, Andy, and Mike were all like,"Billy is sweet, kind, caring, loving, and loveable."

    The Prosecutor said,"And he's also the reason your house is burned down. He can't be all those good things when it's his fault your house got burned." James, Jimmy, Andy, and Mike stayed silent, but all looked uncomfortable.

    Axl immediately said,"Objection! The Prosecutor is trying to purposely make Mr. Parks look bad."

    The Judge said,"Objection overruled. I'm sure the Court would love to hear James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy's response to Billy causing their house to burn down!"

    Axl responded,"Objection to YOU, your Honor for insinuating that Mr. Parks burned down the house when it hasn't been proven that Mr. Parks caused the fire in the first place! All Mr. Parks said was that he was asleep when the house caught on fire. "

    The Judge said,"Objection sustained."

    The Prosecutor brought out the burned pizza as evidence, the picture of the oven being on when the house burned, and brought out Billy's fingerprints that were taken at the booking.

    He showed the Court that the fingerprints on the pizza and Billy's fingerprints matched perfectly. The Prosecutor also showed the surveillance that showed that Billy came to the movie theaters hours after Cream Rose originally arrived. Billy's face blanched.

    Axl said,"Once again, my Client, Mr Parks said he was SLEEPING when the house caught on fire. Of course he'd show up late to the movies due to his SLEEPING." Axl purposely didn't mention the oven being on when the house caught on fire.

    The Prosecutor questioned,"And the oven being on when the house burned? How do you explain that?" The Prosecutor smirked.

    Axl counteracted,"How do we know that this wasn't an Attempted set up of Arson for Billy? There have been multiple attacks on Mr. Parks's life. Anyone who hates Mr Parks could have broken in, saw Mr. Parks sleeping, used gloves and put the pizza in the oven and turned it on and then ran in an attempt to frame Mr. Parks for Arson/burn Mr. Parks alive."

    Billy couldn't believe in a good way the realistic scenario Axl just said. He just might get off scot free! He was glad Axl was his Lawyer.

    The Judge pointed out that Axl made perfect sense.

    The Prosecutor straight up asked Billy if HE put the pizza in the oven and turned it on.

    Axl reminded Billy that there was no direct, foolproof evidence that Billy put the pizza in the oven himself.

    Billy remained silent.

    The Prosecutor then grasped at straws and said,"How do we know that Jimmy, Andy, Mike, James, or Axl didn't burn the house themselves for insurance money for the house and to collect life insurance on Mr Parks if he died? The Prosecutor hoped to make Billy confess on the spot in a reckless and impulsive snap, rash decision.

    Jimmy, James, Mike and Andy all looked appalled at the horrible things the Prosecutor was speculating about them. They all shook their heads. Billy looked appalled too. He knew he started the fire by accident and knew his Cream Rose Brothers and Boyfriend Axl would never set the house on fire for property insurance money or to kill him for life insurance money. Cream Rose all knew this too. Axl looked appalled as he also knew none of them would do this.
    Axl held his emotions back and said,"Objection, Prosecutor is purely speculating in a ridiculous manner."

    The Judge said,"Objection sustained as it does seem that the Prosecutor is merely speculating in a ridiculous manner."

    All of Cream Rose breathed sighs of relief.

    The Prosecutor than said,"Your Honor, Mr. Parks confessed to me on Tuesday May 24th in my office that he burned down the house by accident!" He said he wanted a plea deal!

    All of Cream Rose all shook their heads no.

    Axl said,"Mr. Parks was still on the run on Tuesday May 24th. I'm his Lawyer and if anything, he'd ask ME to get him a plea deal, not go directly to you, and then both he and I would have contacted you or vice versa. We did no such thing."

    The Prosecutor said," I offered Mr Parks 20 Million to confess to me and he confessed!"

    Billy shook his head.

    Axl said,"Are you saying you offered a BRIBE to my Client, Mr Parks? Offering a BRIBE for a confession is illegal."

    The Prosecutor looked uncomfortable. "Mr. Parks was desperate for money! He's basically flatline broke!"

    Axl said,"Mr. Parks is worth roughly 500 Million. He isn't desperate for money. Nor is he basically flatline broke." Billy smiled at Axl. Axl was defending him well.

    The Prosecutor said, "I told Mr Parks that he would avoid incarceration if he confessed!"

    Axl asked, "Do you have any concrete proof that Mr Parks confessed to you?"

    The Prosecutor said,"No, I don't have any concrete proof that Mr Parks confessed to me."

    Billy and Axl smirked.

    Axl asked the Prosecutor,"Did you lie about Mr Parks confessing to you in order to make him look guilty?

    The Prosecutor replied," Yes, I lied about Mr Parks. He never confessed to me, in fact, he never even saw me before this very Court Hearing now! I lied because I wanted to win the case!"

    The Judge was like,"I have heard enough. There isn't enough concrete evidence to convict William Anderson Parks on Arson. Besides, the Prosecutor falsely claimed the Defendant confessed to him and confessed he lied about the confession in order to win. Also, his insinuating that Cream Rose set the house on fire for insurance money and possible life insurance on Billy was unprofessional and out of line. The case against William Anderson Parks is dismissed. " He banged his gravel.

    Axl, Billy and Cream Rose all celebrated happily while the Prosecutor looked troubled.

    All of Cream Rose went to Olive Garden to celebrate Axl and Billy beating their case.

    They had a nice afternoon meal. Billy was glad that Axl was his Lawyer.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  11. #351
    Axl went to the local library to peruse old copies of "Boys Life" and "Mad" magazines.

    As he traipsed over the homeless lying on the floors of the stacks he noticed a rather dirty, smelly fellow at one of the computers used by the public: the old guy was swearing up a storm and hitting the keys.

    Ever helpful, Axl approached and offered to assist.

    "Fuck off you California flake" snarled the surly, odiferous codger, "you're no use to me unless you understand the ins and outs of photoshop and similar programs."

    As it turns out, when he wasn't a lawyer Axl was a computer scientist, a software maven and a coding expert.

    He offered his help, was thanked, said "You're welcome" and they shook hands.

    "OK, here's the deal. You wouldn't know it to look at me now, but I used to be somebody important. I really miss those days, so I want to convince strangers that I am wealthy and win huge jackpots, record jackpots. I want them to envy me."

    "Why try to convince strangers? Focus on your family, your friends, your loved ones as the source of your satisfaction in life."

    "You don't get it, I've burned those bridges. They're on to me. All that I have left is bullshitting."

    The scamp then explained how he wanted to convince and impress strangers with a bald-face lie about winning one and a half million dollars on one pull of a VP machine, and that he was unable to construct a fake image on his computer showing just that thing.

    "Oh, I can do it" said Axl: and he quickly did so.

    "Take a look."

    The codger looked at the picture of the VP machine with the huge jackpot amount now inserted: just what he wanted.

    "Can you make me one showing a gun safe with guns and money?"

    "Here ya go old boy, and happy variance to you" said Axl.

    They shook hands, and Axl wandered off, dreaming of DQ strawberry blizzards and quasi-retarded black ladies with ugly hand bags and gambling problems.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-21-2023 at 11:12 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  12. #352
    After the meal, they went to the hotel. Already, the Court Hearing for Billy was going viral.



    Fans commented,"Wow, that Prosecutor was a huge jerk.



    Other Fans mentioned Billy's Cocaine discovery and were like,"Wow, Billy's a Cocaine Addict? Billy seems so responsible and straight edge. I wouldn't think Billy would be on Cocaine."



    Cream Rose all blushed. On Social Media, Cream Rose were asked if Billy was a Cocaine Addict and Axl responded,"There was no concrete proof that Billy is a Cocaine Addict. The Drug Dealer admitted in court that he didn't have concrete proof."



    Claven Records called Billy's phone and asked him if he was a Cocaine Addict. Axl responded that he could still plead the fifth."



    Billy said,"I plead the fifth."



    Claven Records were like,"We can't have a drug addict as a Claven Records Employee. Were going to have to fire you as Cream Rose Member." Billy told Claven Records to hold on and they did.



    Billy told Cream Rose," Claven Records told me that they will have to fire me as a Claven Records Employee for being a drug addict."



    No!" Jimmy, Axl, James, Andy and Mike all cried in unison!"



    Axl pondered what to do now. He told Billy to let him speak to Claven Records. Billy did.



    He spoke to Claven Records and begged them to not fire Billy from Claven Records.



    Claven Records said, "We just can't have a drug addict as an Employee."



    Axl said,"Billy's Cocaine use is for the most part under control. He's only shown up to work high on Cocaine ONCE and I quickly sent him home. He's never shown up high on Cocaine after that so far."



    Claven Records said,"We're willing to give Billy the benefit of the doubt and give him a chance. We won't fire him yet.



    Axl sighed a grateful sigh of relief. He told Claven Records to hold on and they did.



    He told Billy the good news and Billy was grateful.



    He spoke to Claven Records and thanked them. They welcomed him.



    Claven Records and Billy chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.



    Billy claimed he wanted to go to the park. Jimmy, James, Andy, Axl, and Mike all said they would go with him.



    Billy then claimed he wanted to go to the library. The rest of Cream Rose said they would go with him.



    Billy then said he wanted to go to the local swimming pool. The rest of Cream Rose all said they would go with him.



    Billy then said he wanted to go to the Supermarket. The rest of Cream Rose all said they would go with him.



    Billy said,"Please! I just want to go out alone!"



    Axl said,"I know where you really want to go, and I'll love to go with you. It'll just be us."



    Billy reluctantly agreed to let Axl come with him. They put on their bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and told the rest of Cream Rose goodbye and they said it back.



    Axl and Billy went to a Drug Dealer and Billy bought some more Cocaine and Subutex. Axl knew all along that Billy was going to buy Cocaine and Subutex. Billy thanked the Drug Dealer and was welcomed. Billy and Axl left.



    Axl told Billy he knew where Billy was going all along. Billy blushed.



    They went back to the hotel. Billy snorted the Cocaine and then took the Subutex.



    Billy fell asleep.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  13. #353
    Karron and Naythin Records had just had a baby boy, their first child, after a grueling IVF journey. For the last nine months they waffled back and forth on various names: Byllee, Aksil, Myke, Gymmi, Jaymz, Anne-Dee, Clay, Vinnie,... Finally the moment of truth had arrived and they were no closer to choosing a name than they had been nine months ago. Suddenly Karron got an idea.

    "Naythin, let's put all the names in a hat and we'll each draw one. The two names that we pick will be combined into one supername."

    "What will the middle name be?" Naythin asked.

    Karron thought about it for a moment. Then she said confidently, "His middle name shall simply be the initials V."

    Naythin nodded in agreement. He wrote all the names on the backs of expired losing lottery tickets and put them in a giant magician's top hat, which he had stolen from a real magician several years ago when his side gig was mugging people on the street. Naythin pulled out the first name: "Vinnie."

    Karron pulled out the second name: "Clay."

    Vinnie and Clay, Clay and Vinnie. Both Karron and Naythin pondered these two names for a while until Naythin blushed shyly and suggested "Clayvin."

    "It's perfect!" Karron exclaimed. "Clayvin Records. Clayvin V. Records. By golly he already sounds like a rich important executive."

    "Yeah," agreed Naythin, "He sounds like a music executive. One that throws his weight around by randomly calling his artists and asking if they are coke heads. Hell, he probably burns down their mansions and frames them. Talk about a power move!"

    Karron and Naythin agreed that their little Clayvin was destined for great things. By and by, little Clayvin grew up to be a star student. Upon his eighteenth birthday, he dropped the V. from his name and changed the retarded spelling Clayvin to a more respectable looking Claven. He went to college and quadruple majored in law, music executiving, pharmacology, and particle physics. Soon, he started his own record company and was a brutal and cruel master to all artists under his label. Claven Records would stop at nothing less than world domination.

  14. #354
    While Billy slept Axl decided to finally try cocaine; he'd never tried it before and was very excited.

    Wanting to have the best experience possible, Axl drove to his favorite hang out place of all time, the zoo; en route he scored another couple ounces of coke "just because."

    Party time.

    Axl had the coke in his pocket with his hand surrounding it as he walked through the zoo, heading for the peacocks: he figured watching peacocks in full display would be exciting while high on cocaine.

    Alas, he never made it: en route he was espied by the now disgraced prosecuting attorney, the one who lied like a champ in court, and seeking revenge against his nemesis the prosecuting attorney picked up a baby from a baby buggy and charged Axl with it, swinging it over his head like William Wallace wielding a Scottish Claymore.

    Fight or flight: weaponless, Axl flew.

    He darted right and instinctively jumped the tall fence, the adrenaline giving him better wings than Red Bull.

    Up and over into ... shit ... the bear enclosure.

    He landed hard on top of a sleeping grizzly bear, and in doing so the couple ounces of cocaine flew out of his pocket into the gaping maw of the snoring Ursus.

    The bear reflexively swallowed the hurled pharmaceuticals and then woke up immediately, eyes wide, nose suddenly watering copiously, instantly more energized than ever before, perhaps by a magnitude of ten.

    But mostly the grizzly was now very, very horny, and he wouldn't be denied.

    Never into cross-species mating, he initially disregarded Axl as a potential partner, thinking of him more as a food source, but as the drug raged through his system his focus changed.

    His loins would not be denied: he eyed the unconscious Axl lasciviously and then "got down" as only a coked up grizzly bear can "get down."

    'Twas the ultimate YouTube moment.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-22-2023 at 11:40 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  15. #355

    Here are some Commentary on my Fictional Axl Rose stories.



    I am wondering in the first fictional Axl Rose story if I should have started the story with the first part and continued with Axl finding out that Guns N'Roses was doing a show that very night and him buying last minute tickets to Guns N'Roses show where he sees Older Axl, Current Guns N'Roses and Cake Cream. And never writing the parts about him going to Denny's, buying Lottery tickets, going to the hotel, going to the bars, etc. But then his hair wouldn't have been black, he wouldn't be called Michael Randall Johnson as the fake ID wouldn't have existed, Thomas the Waiter wouldn't have known about him the second time they went to Denny's, Axl wouldn't have gotten Vaccinated l, nor would Axl have to sing at the hotel in lieu of the Hotel manager pressing charges, etc. :/



    Claven Records is the equivalent of the real world Sony Records and Universal Records.



    In my Fictional Axl Rose stories, everybody just accepts that Axl Rose from 1987 time traveled from 1987 to 2022 and there is an Older Axl(Current Axl) and a Young Axl(1987 Axl) and aren't freaked out about it.



    In the first story, Axl gets Steven and Izzy to come back by falsely claiming that Older Axl told him he missed them and wanted them to be a part of Guns N'Roses again. In the second one, Axl doesn't lie and is just like,"Hey, Steven and Izzy, I want you guys to be a part of Guns N'Roses again." Steven and Izzy in both stories are eager to be a part of Guns N'Roses again.



    Older Axl helps out Axl with personal problems, and Axl helps him out with musical problems.



    Cake Cream in both stories have a deep codependency on each other and want to include Axl in this codependency. Axl is slightly freaked out about this sometimes, as he is not deeply codependent on Guns N'Roses in 1987, but he does appreciate that they all care about him and he cares about them too.



    The relationship between Axl and Billy was forshadowed in part one, Axl calling Billy to apologize for storming off on Cake Cream, Billy being the one Axl chose to sign the documents again, Billy being the only one to visit Axl in jail(Keep in mind that Cake Cream had a codependency where all five of them travel together, so only Billy visiting Axl in jail was out of character for Cake Cream), Axl telling Billy first about his imminent return to 1987, Billy kissing his forehead and hugging him goodbye, Billy crying the most about the "Where do we go,?" , etc.



    I do wonder if I made Cake Cream Axl's brainless Minions. It seems like Cake Cream don't have minds of their own and are just blindly doing whatever Axl suggests. Axl also has to do a lot of the thinking for them.



    I still don't know whether Claven is pronounced with a short A or a long A. About Claven Records, in my mind, Claven Records is the same building as the real world Greenwich Studios in North Miami. Timothy is the only Claven Records Executive mentioned by name most of the time, except when he mentions one of his Co-Managers. There are multiple Claven Records Executives, I just don't mention them by name. So, when I write,, Claven Records called," it could be any of the numerous Claven Records Executives calling. When I mention,"Timothy," it is obviously Timothy.



    My Fictional Axl Rose and Cake Cream/Cream Rose live in Miami, Florida and frequently visit the local Marriott and perform frequently at the James L Knight Center.



    Axl is 25, James, Andy, Mike, Jimmy and Billy are all 26 for the most part but Billy just had his 27th birthday.



    About the Cake Cream/Cream Rose, Andy and Billy have the closest friendship, James and Jimmy have the closest friendship, Billy and Axl are in a relationship, Mike is equally friends with everyone. Billy in the first story was actually the Leader despite being the Drummer, in the second one, Jimmy is definitely the Leader although Mike was the one who came up with the, "We should be more open with each other."



    About Mike, I realized that despite being the lead Singer I don't have write all that much about him. I handwaved this as Mike just not having a lot of stage presence and Jimmy and James, the guitarists having more stage presence than him.



    Andy, I personally didn't like him all that much when developing his character and had him do the dastardly deed of attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000 when Axl was a Fugitive. I had the rest of Cake Cream talk him out of this and had Billy, who is one of my favorite Cake Cream/ Cream Rose Members give Andy $5,000 to prevent Andy from turning him in.



    In an abandoned storyline, I planned to have Andy screw over his Brothers and Axl for money, but I thought I was doing Andy dirty and changed Andy into being remorseful, regretful, guilty, and sorry for attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000. In the first story, Axl doesn't find out Andy attempted to sell him out for $5,000. In the second one, he finds out about it when Jimmy blurts it out. Axl is hurt but forgives Andy when he sees how bad Andy feels about it.










    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  16. #356
    Say it isn't so !

    The story is over?

    Alas !

    What a ending...Billy snorted cocaine and went to sleep.

    C'mon girl, you can do better than that.

    End your tale in a cool way, like maybe an asteroid hitting the earth, or Cream Rose and Axl becoming Scientologists, or better yet Billy OD's, Axl suicides, and Cream Rose get jobs in daycares to pursue pedophilia.
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-23-2023 at 10:35 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  17. #357
    Originally Posted by MisterV View Post
    Say it isn't so !

    The story is over?

    Alas !

    What a ending...Billy snorted cocaine and went to sleep.

    C'mon girl, you can do better than that.

    End your tale in a cool way, like maybe an asteroid hitting the earth, or Cream Rose and Axl becoming Scientologists, or better yet Billy OD's, Axl suicides, and Cream Rose get jobs in daycares to pursue pedophilia.
    The story isn't over. I just gave some in between Chapters commentary on my Fictional Axl Rose Stories.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  18. #358
    As Billy slept, Axl pondered what to do. Billy was a Cocaine Addict and that Cocaine addiction led to his house being burned down and him nearly getting fired from Claven Records. Billy was such a sweet, caring, kind, loving and loveable person, he just happened to have the Cocaine addiction. Poor Billy. Billy only became an addict after nearly being murdered twice and Axl taking multiple gunshots, saving Billy's life.



    Cake Cream/Cream Rose had agreed to let Billy do Cocaine as long as it was only in the house, or Hotel Room. But they wondered if Billy's Cocaine use wasn't becoming a huge problem. Billy had shown up to a Cake Cream Show late and high on Cocaine and now their house burned down due to Billy's Cocaine use. And Billy nearly got put in jail because of the Cocaine/burned down house. Jimmy, James, Andy Mike and Axl didn't know what to do.



    They all chatted. Soon, the rest of Cream Rose went to their own rooms. It was just Billy and Axl left. Axl climbed into bed with Billy and soon fell asleep himself.



    They woke up in the morning and ate and got ready for the day. When Billy thought Axl wasn't looking, Billy snorted a line of Cocaine and then took Subutex. Axl was watching the whole thing. Axl shook his head. It was becoming more and more apparent that Billy was a Cocaine Addict.



    Axl said to Billy," I'm worried about your Cocaine Addiction."



    Billy responded,"I'm not a Cocaine Addict. I'm just a casual Cocaine User."



    Axl said,"No, you're an Addict. Billy vehemently denied that he was an Addict.



    Axl said,"Billy, do you love me?"



    Billy responded,"Yes, I love you."



    Axl said, "I love you too. I just want you to be open and honest with me and admit that you're a drug addict. It's just us, sitting alone in privacy. No James, no Mike, no Andy, no Jimmy. Just Axl and Billy."



    Billy took a deep breath and said,"Yes, Axl, I'm a drug Addict. "



    Axl said,"I know. Thanks for being honest with me."



    Billy said,"You're welcome."



    Axl said,"Where do we go? Where do we go? Where do we go? Making Billy laugh. Axl and Billy made out and then hung out with James, Andy, Mike and Jimmy. They went to the park and just chilled, just relaxing. Fans went up to them and begged them for Autographs and Selfies and they were annoyed as they just wanted to chill in peace, but they decided to oblige their Fans. They took the Selfies and gave Autographs. The Fans were happy and thanked them. They welcomed them.



    The Fans soon left after chatting briefly with them.



    They chilled more and then went to Amazon and bought a guitar for Jimmy, a guitar for James, a keyboard for Andy, drums for Billy, microphones for Mike and Axl, and speakers and amps for everyone. They chose next day delivery. They went to a Restaurant and Fans were asking them for more Selfies and Autographs. They were once again annoyed but obliged their Fans. They did more Selfies and Autographs. The Fans were happy. They thanked them and were welcomed and they all chatted for a bit and then the Fans went back to their own tables. Cream Rose had a nice meal.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  19. #359
    Axl made a command decision, exercising his power both as Billy's attorney and his manager.

    A white van pulled up outside the hotel, and three burly men dressed in starched whites entered the hotel and knocked on Axl and Billy's door.

    Axl answered, and whispered "He's in the other room, playing Candy Crush Saga. Please be gentle."

    Axl and the men went where Billy was; Axl said "Billy, you're going to rehab."

    "No I'm not" said Billy.

    "Oh yes you are" said Axl, "and someday you will shake my hand and thank me and I will welcome you in return."

    Without further ado Billy was gagged, covered in a body bag, strapped to a gurney and transported over the river and through the woods to Open Arms Rehab.

    Upon his arrival Billy held his tongue and did not complain as what he observed cued him to be silent.

    Men and women were strapped into chairs with their eyes propped open so they could not avoid seeing the images on the TV in front of them: huge piles of cocaine and various people snorting coke were on screen in an endless loop.

    Billy had been given a shot that made him feel violently ill, and as he associated this unpleasant feeling with the coke images he soon lost all desire to do cocaine.

    Soon it was his turn.

    "Fuck me," he thought, "It's like Clockwork Orange. Good thing it isn't like O Lucky Man."

    A week later he was released, a cured man.

    Axl asked "Want some cocaine?" and Billy said "No thank you, not any more" and he shook Axl's hand, thanked him, and was welcomed in return.

    Billy smiled, then asked "Got any fentanyl or tranq? No? How about meth or krokodil?"
    Last edited by MisterV; 02-23-2023 at 04:08 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  20. #360
    They paid and left. They were walking back to the hotel when Claven Records called all of them and told them to come to Claven Records.



    They knew this would be about Billy's Cocaine Addiction.



    They went to Claven Records. At Claven Records, they mentioned how hard it would be to have a drug addict as an Employee. Axl pointed out they agreed to not fire Billy yet and give him another chance.



    Cream Rose backed this up.



    Claven Records said,"Yes, we agreed to not fire Billy as an Employee, but we can't have him run around doing Cocaine.



    Axl pointed out Billy only did Cocaine in private, not in public.



    Claven Records took a deep breath and said,"We're going to Suspend Billy from Cream Rose for a month."

    " Cream Rose said,"No!" In unison again.



    "Please don't suspend me for a month from Cream Rose!" Billy cried emotionally. "I don't like letting our Fans down!"



    Claven Records were like,"You leave us no choice. You're a drug addict. You're lucky we don't straight up fire you!"



    Axl asked to get that Billy was suspended from Cream Rose in writing. Axl already thought of two of his favorite words. Technical and Loophole.



    Claven Records drew up the "Billy is suspended from Cream Rose," Contract. Axl told Cream Rose the technical loophole and they were all on board. They all read, understood, agreed, and signed.



    Claven Records thanked them for signing, and they welcomed them. Axl was smirking , a sneaky smirk, not the relieved smirk he was doing in his mugshot.



    Claven Records and Cream Rose all chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and Cream Rose left. Cream Rose went back to the hotel.



    Axl and the rest of Cream Rose all giggled at the technical loophole.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

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