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Thread: Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

  1. #501
    Interesting; oft times someone's "first novel" is quite autobiographical; see "A Conferacy of Dunces" as an example (a great read, btw).

    So Tasha, are you also "just not wanting to have sex with anyone?"
    What, Me Worry?

  2. #502
    Shortly after her head hit the pillow, Tasha entered her much anticipated, oft-visited dream world.

    She espied a fellow astride a unicorn, trotting toward her; could it really be?

    Yes, it was Axl!

    "Excuse me dear lady but I seen to have lost my way; perhaps you could help put me back on the right path?"

    Tasha was gob-smacked and at a loss for words; "Uhh...sure, I guess. Where do you want to get to?"

    Axl smiled, got off of his horned steed and smiled broadly.

    "Where ever you're going would be fine with me."

    Axl approached her and held out two closed fists; he asked "Which hand?"

    "The left."

    Axl opened the left hand: a huge diamond ring!

    "Tasha, will you be my..."

    The dream ended suddenly with a loud voice interrupitng her revelry.

    "Tasha, get your ass out of bed and off to Walgreens, you overslept again."
    What, Me Worry?

  3. #503
    Mark Riley's Interrogation video went viral on Social Media. He was asked why he called Andy in the first place.



    Mark said," I had a feeling that Andy was the Powerball Winner. I mimicked Axl's voice and Andy admitted to me thinking that I was Axl and told me had 1.6 Billion on him that he stole from Cake Cream and he felt guilty about it. I planned to rob Andy at Gunpoint out of the 1.6 Billion."



    The Cops were skeptical. Do you REALLY think that Andy would SERIOUSLY claim he stole 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream and give his number to some random criminal that called him pretending to be Axl? Andy would have Axl's number and would know that Axl wouldn't call him from YOUR number, Axl would have called him Andy from his number. Andy most likely knew someone was trying to scam him, pretended to believe you were Axl, "Confessed," to you that he stole 1.6 Billion, called the Cops and fled his hotel room!" Cop 1 questioned.



    Mark said,"I knew something was wrong the second I went to Andy's hotel Room and saw a bunch of Cops there, and no Andy. I had a feeling I had been played , so I tried to run away but got tackled, searched,arrested, and brought here



    Why did you claim to be Axl in the first place? Why not James, Jimmy, Billy, or Mike?" Cop 2 asked.



    Mark responded,"Because I can mimic Axl's baritone Bass voice succinctly. He said,"Hello, I'm Axl Rose, nice to meet you!" In a voice that sounded eerily and scarily alike to Axl's deep Baritone Bass voice. The Cops were shocked.



    Cop 1 asked,"Why not just claim to Andy on the phone that you were Axl in serious need of money and have him Zelle you the money?"



    Mark responded incredulous,"I don't have a Bank Account due to me being a notorious Bank Robber. I was planning to rob Andy at gunpoint and force him to give me his Debit Cards and his passwords so I could steal his money that way!"



    And you didn't think you'd get caught on camera using Andy's debit cards?" Cop 2 asked.



    Mark responded, "I would have hidden my identity using a motorcycle helmet and try to pass myself off as being Andy himself."



    Cop 2 said,"Clever plan, but unfortunately for you, Andy was a couple of steps ahead of you and caught on that you were trying to play him and helped set up your long awaited capture!"



    Mark lowered his head in shame. "I can't believe I fell for Andy's clever ruse! I should have known that Andy didn't actually steal 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream and believe that I was actually Axl!"



    The Cops were both like,"Yep, you did, fell right into Andy's cunning trap!" He was led back to his cell.



    Cake Cream and Axl watched the interrogation in awe. Andy ended up looking like a clever mastermind rather than an easily fooled dope! Cake Cream and Axl agreed to not tell anyone that Andy actually DID steal 1.6 from Cake Cream and DID actually fall for Mark's scam. They didn't want Andy behind bars for Grand Larceny and Grand Theft. Andy blushed, happy his Brothers were protecting him so well.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  4. #504
    The iron bars of Mark Riley's jail cell opened; "Alright asshole, time for you to meet your maker" sneered the obese guard, wiping donut crumbs off of his shaggy beard.

    He was escorted into a dimly lit courtroom filled with wretches, the flotsam and jetsam of humanity.

    "Oyez, Oyez, all rise for the courtroom scene."

    Through the chamber doors emerged that Colossus of Criminality, the all-time harbinger of Bad Things to Come: Judge V.

    He quickly went through his docket; one mother lost custody of her children due to jaywalking; a homeless man was ordered to shovel shit at the sewage plant for a month; a teen was sent to Job Corps with a warning to "Shape up, or we'll cut your dick off!"

    The last case was that of Mark Riley, a phlegmatic career criminal not easily impressed.

    "Oh, so YOU'RE the guy I've heard about" remarked the aged arbiter; "Come into my chambers, we need to talk. Guard, uncuff that man."

    His bonds removed, Mark Riley followed Judge V into his lair.

    "It seems we're on the same team, boyo" pronounced Judge V as he opened his drug kit.

    "Cocaine?"

    A startled yet ebullient Mark Riley nodded in the affirmative; they both vacuumed Peruvian flake using their noses like a Hoover.

    Judge V scratched his balls and let loose a mighty blast from below; "Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named Andy..."
    Last edited by MisterV; 04-23-2023 at 11:22 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  5. #505
    Fans watched the Mark Riley Interrogation and wondered if Andy was the 1.5 Billion Lottery Winner.

    Axl replied once again that Andy's name wasn't Drew Tyson, it was Andy McCall.

    Fans looked up Andy's full name on Google and found out it was Andrew Tyson McCall and pointed this out on Social Media.

    Oh no, Axl and the rest of Cake Cream said, but Axl made a quick thinking excuse and said on Social Media that the Florida Lottery wouldn't allow a Winner to use their first name and a middle name, they'd only accept a first name and a last name. Axl said if Andy were the REAL winner, Andrew McCall would be called the winner, not Drew Tyson.

    Axl quickly called Tallahassee Lottery Headquarters and begged them to say in a press conference that the Winner's name had a Full name of Drew Tyson and not Andrew Tyson McCall. The Tallahassee Lottery were reluctant, but Axl insisted and even pointed out that Mark Riley showed up to Andy's hotel Room with a gun when he merely THOUGHT Andy was the Winner, and how many more People would show up at Andy's Hotel Room with Guns if they knew for certain he was the Winner?

    The Tallahassee Lottery caved, realizing that Axl was 100 percent right and Andy's life would be for certain in danger if it was found out for sure he did win. They told Axl he was 100 percent right and said they would do a Press Conference the same day claiming that Andrew Tyson McCall was not the Winner, it was Drew Tyson, full name. Axl breathed a sigh of relief and thanked them and was welcomed. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.

    He told Cake Cream the good news and everybody, especially Andy was relieved. Soon, the Tallahassee Lottery did a press conference when they said,"The Winner of the 1.5 Billion before taxes has a full name of Drew Tyson, and is not named Andrew Tyson McCall."

    Cake Cream and Axl were all relieved. Hopefully, Andy wouldn't become a target of that money. And besides, Andy drastically changed his voice and was completely hidden by the motorcycle helmet during that press conference which helped a lot.

    Axl asked Cake Cream if they wanted to practice for an upcoming Cake Cream Show, you know, make everything look like it was still normal.

    Cake Cream were all up for this and practiced for an upcoming Cake Cream Show.

    They sounded good and Axl called the James L Knight Center and booked them for three days from today. They were excited, that ALL of Cake Cream would be performing, including Andy. They practiced more. Billy's high school reunion was coming up in 4 days. Thank God Andy, Axl and Cake Cream had made up because People would definitely have taken notice if Andy wasn't at Billy's high school reunion.

    They chilled for three days, and then it was time for the James L Knight Center Show. They had flown first class to Miami International Airport and taken a LYFT to James L Knight Center. They practiced more, wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and 50,000 Cake Cream Fans showed up to see them! They were happy! The Show started behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and the Show was really good. Fans were happy to see all 6 Members of Cake Cream were back for this Show. Cake Cream and Axl were happy too.

    Fans cheered wildly. At the Final sendoff, Fans continued cheering wildly. The Show was over and Cake Cream and Axl left and had a nice late lunch and paid and left and took a LYFT to their luxurious Penthouse Suite in Miami. They still had their room keys and went in. They all chilled, just laying back and relaxing. They knew they'd have a busy day at Billy's high school reunion tomorrow.

    When they woke up, they got ready for Billy's high school reunion. Axl was nervous about the fact that he was technically biologically about 35 years older than People who went to high school with Billy. Cake Cream told him he was a quick study and would be fine. He smiled. They also pointed out that he was chronologically YOUNGER than people who went to high school with Billy. Axl smiled again. They practiced some basic things that would have been in vogue when Billy was in high school like Miley Cyrus being a VERY hot topic.

    Axl was a very quick study. But Cake Cream also pointed out that a lot of high school reunions would be focused on the NOW rather than the high school years.

    Soon, it was time for Billy's high school reunion. Cake Cream and Axl had bought Tuxedos for the high school reunion. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. At the Reunion, Billy met a lot of his old classmates and schoolmates and they chatted amicably with Billy and introduced them to his Boyfriend Axl Rose.

    The Classmates and schoolmates were honored to meet THE Axl Rose from Guns N'Roses who had time traveled from 1987 to 2022 but didn't really go extremely crazy, they wanted to be respectful of Axl's boundaries. Axl chatted with Billy's old schoolmates and classmates too.

    A lot of Billy's Class chatted with Andy, Mike, Billy, James and Jimmy who were about a year younger than them and remembered them. They chatted back. Billy's Class were in awe to see that Billy was part of the highly successful Cake Cream Band and the rest of Cake Cream were here. They asked for Autographs and Selfies and Cake Cream and Axl obliged. Billy's Class was happy.

    Cake Cream and Axl drank punch and ate snacks. Billy's Class caught up to what they were doing now. There were Doctors, Teachers, Lawyers,Nurses, Cashiers, Officers, etc, but there were only 6 Members of the world famous Cake Cream that were in that Reunion now. The Reunion was fun and was over in about 2 more hours. Axl and Cake Cream amicably said their goodbyes with Billy's Class and then went back home to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite in Miami.

    They fell asleep, exhausted.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  6. #506
    A review of the recent Cake Cream performances was published in Rolling Stone.

    "It is odd that this band is so very popular, given the fact that the sung lyrics are muffled and sound as if they were sung in an echo chamber. All of the band members wear full faced motorcycle helmets, and this prevents voices from projecting and sounding natural. The fact that the voices are picked up by microphones inside the helmets causes the muddled, reverberating sounds which some fans treasure but which I abhor. Get a clue, guys, get a clue, and KEEP IT REAL."

    Axl read the article and in response a powerful blast flew from his nether orb, scaring the cat and rattling the curtains.

    He rounded the band members up for a council of war; they pogo-sticked and roller bladed to the nearest DQ where over sttrawberry blizzards they discussed their future.

    "Guys, we gotta stop wearing motorcycle helmets. Funny, it never occurred to me that fully-visored helmets would affect the sound of our voice. Any suggestions?"

    Andy said "I inherited some army helmets from my reclusive uncle Adolph in Argentina; they should provide some protection yet allow voices to project."

    The band members asked him to repeat it as the sight of a rabid dog outside foaming at the mouth and gnawing on toddlers had momentarily diverted their attention; Andy repeated it.

    "Sounds OK to me" said Axl; the band members farted and belched their agreement.

    Andy gathered up the helmets and off Cake Cream went to their next show, motorcycle helmets replaced with army helmets.

    Immediately after the show opened the audience was deathly quiet, then buzzing began and soon a tsunami of approbation emanated from the teeny boppers, gays, pedophiles, and other misfits who made up the fan base.

    Cake Cream were forced to leave the stage, stunned and not knowing what the fuss was about; they skate boarded back toward their hotel fully cloaked in bullet proof vests and army helmets and were pointed at, yelled at, and threatened with great bodily harm.

    It was only when a wizened old crone with a number tattooed on her wrist said "What the fuck? Why are you douchebags wearing Nazi helmets?" that the reason became clear.

    The shit was deep, and the band had unwittingly stepped in it.
    Last edited by MisterV; 04-24-2023 at 11:58 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  7. #507
    Funny thing about your above post, I did some research about 8 months ago about people who wear motorcycle helmets and the motorcycle helmet wearers said that sounds sound muffled when they are wearing motorcycle helmets. I had to laugh at the fact that Cake Cream and Axl would barely be able to hear each other clearly, let alone crowds of Fans with their motorcycle helmets on! LMAO!

    Also, a lot of Cake Cream Fans are actually gay for real like you mentioned in the above post. But the majority of Cake Cream Fans aren't Teenagers, they are around their 20's like I mentioned in the very first chapters of this story.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  8. #508
    When they got up, Billy's high school reunion already went viral. Fans loved it. Cake Cream and Axl were happy.

    They watched the news that said that Mark's Court case was tomorrow in Hawaii and it be ideal if Cake Cream and Axl were there.

    Cake Cream and Axl bemoaned the fact that they'd have to go to Hawaii tomorrow. They wanted to spend tomorrow chilling in Miami, not in Hawaii in Court.

    Axl asked Andy if he told Mark during his phone call any damaging things like Billy accidentally setting his house on fire or Andy trying to sell out Axl for $5,000.

    Andy shook his head and said,"I said to Mark during our phone call,"I feel bad about stealing that 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream. I feel guilty about it and am ready to make things right."

    Axl believed Andy and was relieved that Andy hadn't confessed to Fake Axl/Mark about the accidental house fire or Andy attempting to sell out Axl for $5,000 when they were hiding Axl as a Fugitive.

    They chilled in Miami and then got a LYFT to Miami International Airport and bought last minute tickets for Hawaii. They had a luxurious first class experience. At Hawaii, they took a LYFT to another Marriott hotel. They booked another Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and ate. They fell asleep.

    The next day, they got up and went to the Courthouse and got processed.

    They went to the Courtroom and Mark was soon ushered in and had handcuffs on. Mark's Court case begun and the Judge said that in THIS particular case, Mark's charges were attempted aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon, one count of active identity theft for impersonating Axl Rose, one count of conspiracy to commit identity theft for planning to use Andy's debit cards and passwords as him. This was being televised.

    Mark's Court appointed Lawyer said that since Andy tricked Mark into coming there in the first place, all charges against Mark should be dropped.

    Axl and all of Cake Cream shook their heads. The Judge asked them if they would like to press charges against Mark Riley.

    Cake Cream and Axl all said Yes."

    Axl was allowed to go on the stand and point out that Mark chose HIS identity to impersonate. Mark looked worried considering the fact that Axl Rose, his identity victim was on the stand.

    Axl also pointed out that Andy would have been screwed had he ACTUALLY been in that Hotel Room when Mark showed up and hadn't tricked Mark into showing up to a room full of Cops. Cake Cream all agreed with Axl. Cake Cream had agreed to go with the Cops Narrative that Andy was the clever Mastermind that cunningly tricked Mark into showing up at Andy's old Hotel Room. Jimmy, James, Axl, Billy, and Mike couldn't believe they agreed to publicly pretend that Andy was the clever, cunning, Mastermind who tricked a Longtime Criminal into getting caught by Cops after all Andy did to them, but they really wanted to protect Andy.

    Mark got so wound up he said,"Cake Cream hid Axl in Billy's house when Axl was a Fugitive and Andy tried to sell him out for $5,000 but was stopped by Cake Cream!" And Billy accidentally set his house on fire because he fell asleep after doing Cocaine and Subutex after putting a pizza in the oven! Cake Cream all calmly shook their heads even though they were all panicking.

    Axl was glad he was wearing a motorcycle helmet because his face had a full look of panic. How did Mark know this?" Axl calmly said,"You are just saying anything you made up to get charges dropped against you. You are committing Perjury in Court, a serious offense!"

    Cake Cream all were also panicking, but relieved that Axl was handling this so well because this could have went very, very badly, really quickly.

    Mark said,"I hijacked all of Cake Cream and your cellphone calls! I'm telling the truth!" Mark cried!

    Axl calmly said, "You are delusional. You are out of your mind!

    Mark in a complete panic TRIED to say,"Billy set his house on fire, I'm not delusional but he was so panicked, he accidentally said,"You're the one who's delusional, I'm the one who set Billy's house on fire!"

    The crowd gasped and Mark realized the true gravity of what he just said and completely panicked and said,"I'm out of here!" And ran out the front door, making himself look completely guilty of Arson. He was brought back into Court. "I'm fuced! Mark cried emotionally.

    The Judge was like,"Once again, would Cake Cream and Axl like to press charges on Mark Riley?" All of Cake Cream and Axl said, "Yes."

    Mark ran again, but was caught again, and his legs were shackled to prevent him from running again. He was soon ordered to go back to the Correctional Facility he had been housed at.

    Mark cussed out Axl, cussed out the Judge, cussed out all of Cake Cream, cussed out his Court Appointed Lawyer! He was led out by Authorities.

    Cake Cream and Axl all breathed a sigh of relief. In about 30 minutes, everyone was dismissed.

    Cake Cream and Axl went to a Restaurant and had a nice burger meal, relieved that Mark Riley would be behind bars for a VERY long time.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  9. #509
    By the time I realized Andy should have went on the stand as well due to him being the to be victim of Mark,the edit window had long expired. So I will post this as a supplementing part.


    The Judge asked Andy if he'd like to take the stand and testify against Mark since Andy was the to be victim of Mark..

    Andy said,"Yes, I'd like to take the stand. Andy went on the stand and said,"I'd like to testify and press charges against Mark Riley. Mark Riley tried to trick me by claiming to be my Brother, Lawyer , Bandmate, and Manager Axl Rose. I knew this wasn't Axl as Mark's number is completely different from Mark's number. Mark showed up to my hotel room with a GUN!



    I shudder to think what would have happened if I had ACTUALLY fallen for Mark's Axl Rose impersonation and hadn't tricked him into showing up to that room full of Cops. Mark would have pulled that gun on me! Possibly shot me! Andy's voice quivered with emotion. Thank God I had a premonition that I was about to be in BIG trouble and telling me that this was NOT Axl who had called me and I needed to get out of that hotel room and contact the Cops! That premonition saved my life!



    Axl smirked in his helmet, knowing HE was the one who had that premonition Andy was talking about and had warned Andy that he was NOT the one who had called him earlier and that he needed to get out of that hotel room and had saved Andy's life.



    Andy continued," I shudder every time I look at that video of Mark banging on my hotel room falsely claiming to be Axl and when I see the gun the Cops found on him. I won't feel safe with Mark out in society and I'm pretty sure James, Jimmy, Billy, Mike, and Axl won't feel comfortable with Mark out in society either."



    Cake Cream and Axl all backed up Andy. Andy was allowed to step down.



    Mark knew he was screwed. He was caught on camera pretending to be Axl Rose and Andy and Axl's testimony hurt his case really badly. Mark tried to save his own skin and said,"Andy straight up admitted he TRICKED me into showing up at his hotel room! Shouldn't ANDY be in trouble WITH me for lying to me? "



    Axl shook his head, if he hadn't lied to you, you would have pulled a gun on him and robbed him and used his debit cards and passwords as him.

    Mark glared angrily at Axl. Axl didn't flinch and kept his composure.



    Mark's Lawyer said,"Mark never actually met Andy until today in this courtroom, so I move that the charges about Andy be dropped against him."



    The Judge reinstated that the only reason he didn't meet Andy is because Andy fled the room before Mark got there, therefore, the charges are to remain active and relevant. Axl and Cake Cream all nodded.

    Mark got so wound up he said,"Cake Cream hid Axl in Billy's house when Axl was a Fugitive and Andy tried to sell him out for $5,000 but was stopped by the rest of Cake Cream!" And Billy accidentally set his house on fire because he fell asleep after doing Cocaine and Subutex after putting a pizza in the oven! Cake Cream all calmly shook their heads even though they were all panicking underneath their motorcycle helmets.



    Axl was glad he was wearing a motorcycle helmet because his face had a full look of panic. How did Mark know this? Axl calmly said,"You are just saying anything you made up to get charges dropped against you. You are committing Perjury in Court, a serious offense!"



    Cake Cream all were also panicking, but relieved that Axl was handling this so well because this could have went very, very badly, really quickly.



    Mark said,"I hijacked all of Cake Cream and your cellphone calls! I'm telling the truth!" Mark cried!



    Axl calmly said, "You are delusional. You are out of your mind! Billy didn't set his house on fire, Billy doesn't do Cocaine or take Subutex, and Andy didn't steal 1.6 Billion from us. If Andy had stolen 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream,I would have permanently fired him. He isn't fired as you all can plainly see."



    Mark in a complete panic TRIED to say,"Billy set his house on fire, I'm not delusional but he was so panicked, he accidentally said,"You're the one who's delusional, I'm the one who set Billy's house on fire!"



    The crowd gasped and Mark realized the true gravity of what he just said and completely panicked and said,"Oh my God! I can't believe I just confessed to Arson! I'm out of here!"



    And ran out the front door, making himself look completely guilty of Arson. He was brought back into Court literally about 30 seconds later.



    Axl said,"Mark Riley has just confessed to Arson of Billy's house which used to be mine, Jimmy, James, Andy, and Mike's house too."



    ""I'm fuced!" Mark cried emotionally. Cake Cream and Axl all smiled under their helmets . Mark falsely confessed to Arson to Billy's house! Yes!



    The Judge was like,"Once again, would Cake Cream and Axl like to press charges on Mark Riley?" All of Cake Cream and Axl said, "Yes."



    Mark ran again, but was caught again, and his legs were shackled to prevent him from running again.



    The Judge asked him how he pleased to the charges brought against him. His Court ordered Attorney told him to plead guilty because he could get a plea deal and besides, he was caught on surveillance camera banging on Andy's old hotel room and caught with a gun and impersonating Axl Rose . The Lawyer told him he was basically screwed if he pleaded,"Not guilty," since haf so much evidence against him and had a long criminal record that was 23 years old. Mark pleaded Guilty to all charges. He was soon ordered to go back to the Correctional Facility he had been housed at.

    Mark cussed out Axl, cussed out the Judge, cussed out all of Cake Cream, he even cussed out his Court Appointed Lawyer for not getting him off as Not Guilty! He really was delusional! He was led out by Police Officers and even cussed out the Police Officers!
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  10. #510
    Originally Posted by Tasha View Post
    The next day, they got up and went to the Courthouse and got processed.
    Tasha, WTF?

    "Processed?"

    Pshaw...I think you mean THIS...

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________________

    Cake Cream played "Red Light / Green Light" while walking up the courthouse steps; Billy did an umbrella step but Andy trumped him with a giant step; the boys sipped their DQ strawberry blizzards while pirouetting like Russian ballerinas.

    Highly entertained by the graceful moves of Cake Cream Axl laughed loudly and passed a monstrous fart, causing the public on the courthouse steps to wilt and fall to their knees; this did not escape the keen albeit jaundiced eye of the security guard at the scanning machine who radioed on his walkie talkie and smiled.

    Cake Cream approached the full body scanner but the guard waved them toward a side door, saying "You birds, you go in through that door. Do it now!"

    By that point the boys had gone into full dance mode and were spinning, break dancing and twisting like whirling dervishes; they spun to and through the door which closed loudly.

    A surly midget barked "OK, to process you guys you need to strip buck naked. Do it now!"

    They stripped buck naked while samba dancing.

    "OK, now jump down that chute:" he pointed to a chute, the entrance of which was surrounded by blinking xmas lights: "Oh, so pretty" the boys oohed and ahhed and then they all jumped in, yelling "Last one down's a rotten egg."

    The trip was a short and unhappy one.

    At the bottom of the chute huge flensing knives rotated, as if in an egg beater; as a band member slid down into the blades of death he was immediatedly shredded, chopped, flensed and reduced to red mush, his remains then put in a vat of offal.

    When the vat was full it was trundled to a pressure cooker by sweaty dwarves where the contents were cooked; spices and preservatives were then added, thus finishing the courthouse "processing;" the remains of the members of Cake Cream were unceremoniously packed into oval-sahaped cans and distributed to local food banks for Native Hawaiians Only.

    Hawaiians have a long, proud history of cannibalism; today they secretly continue their epicurean tradition by sourcing and eating their own "locals" version of what we call Spam.
    Last edited by MisterV; 04-26-2023 at 09:36 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  11. #511
    Mr. V, before you go to Court, you get processed, as in being checked to see if you have any weapons or drugs on you. That's what I meant by processed. Maybe I should have said,"Cake Cream and Axl were checked for drugs and weapons and then were allowed into Court.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  12. #512
    After the meal, they went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite in Hawaii and chilled. Andy hugged Axl and thanked him for saving his life.



    Axl hugged him back and welcomed him. Andy smiled and went to his room. Andy went to sleep and had a nightmare about Mark Riley.



    He screamed and went to Axl and Billy's room and told them about his nightmare and asked if he could sleep in the same bed as them. Billy and Axl allowed Andy to sleep in the same bed with them. Andy smiled and went to sleep.



    The next morning, Axl said he wanted to go to Denny's. Andy said,"I want to go to Denny's with you!" Axl was a little weirded out, but allowed Andy to go to Denny's with him. Andy and Axl went to Denny's and had a nice breakfast.



    Andy told Axl,"I'm so sorry I temporarily screwed over Cake Cream and you. Can you guys forgive me?"



    Axl said,"We forgive you."



    Andy smiled. They paid and left. Axl and Andy went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Fans on Social Media said they wanted to see Cake Cream perform soon.



    Cake Cream and Axl were working for the fans, so they booked a Cake Cream show for a Stadium in Hawaii tomorrow.



    They practiced and chilled.



    The next day, they went to the Hawaiian Stadium for the Show. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets. 50,000 Cake Cream Fans showed up and Cake Cream and Axl were happy.



    The show started, and Andy for some bizarre reason decided to play the Keyboard RIGHT next to Axl. Axl was like,"WTF? The show was good, but it was becoming clear that Andy was clingy to Axl. Fans cheered wildly, but it was clear that they also noticed that Andy seemed to be a bit TOO interested in Axl. The Fans were like,"My God, Andy's REALLY close to Axl! WTF?"



    Billy was like,"Andy, please give Axl some personal space!" Andy backed up.



    Axl breathed a sigh of relief.



    Andy looked at Axl with complete awe. Axl was his Savior and his Hero! He was looking at the man who saved his life!



    Axl internally wondered about Andy's clinginess and obsessiveness..



    The show continued and was really good. The final sendoff happened and Andy was practically laying on Axl! Axl backed away uncomfortably a few steps. The show was soon over.



    Cake Cream and Axl went to Red Lobster and Andy sat right next to Axl. Billy, James, Jimmy Mike and Axl were like,"Oh my God!" Internally.



    Andy was kind of acting obsessed and clingy with Axl. Andy usually didn't act like this to Axl. Lunch was tense. They paid and left.



    After lunch, they all went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite. Andy fell asleep in his Suite.



    Axl told Billy, Mike, Jimmy, and James,"Have any of you noticed that Andy seems to be kind of obsessed and clingy with me today?"



    James, Jimmy, Mike, and Billy were all like,"Yes."



    Axl breathed a kind of relieved sigh, glad it wasn't all in his head and everyone else noticed this too.



    Axl was like," I get that Andy's kind of traumatized. Mark could have killed him, but his obsessive clinginess is creeping me out. I wish the Neuralyzer from Men In Black was real and I could use it on Andy to make him forget his trauma."



    Billy, Mike, James, and Jimmy acknowledged that Andy was NOT acting in a healthy way. They suggested that Andy needed therapy to deal with his Trauma. Axl was like,"That's not a bad idea!" They all agreed to take Andy to therapy tomorrow. They chilled and then fell asleep.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  13. #513
    But then Axl had a thought: a wholesome thought for once.

    "Let's try aversion therapy on Andy. I know all about it, having read an article about in online. Heck, I've been his lawyer, now I'll be his therapist."

    He found Cake Cream playing hopscotch and tiddly winks.

    "Boys, listen up: we're going to give Andy our own version of therapy, and I am just the man to do it; are you with me?"

    They stared at Axl like deer in headlights, then got on their knees and bowed to him, chanting "Yes, Master..."

    "Alright, what we have to do is to make certain something bad, something painful, happens to Andy every time he is near me or speaks my name; think you can do it?"

    Jimmy gave a thumbs up; oops, in his untrammeled zeal he accidentally shoved his thumb up Billy's ass; Billy smiled and said "Oh, my.'

    "Therapy will be easy. Whenever Andy is present I want all of you to pick up whatever is at hand and hit or throw it at him, yelling "Axl says hello." OK?

    James said "But I sort of like Andy;" as an emphatic exclamation point he let fly a low toned, sad sounding, dirge-like blast of gas, the same as he'd done at funerals.

    Axl countered with a sharp, commanding blast which permeated the air to a redolent degree, and said "So do I, but we have to hurt him to save him."

    Andy returned, only to be immediately set upon and beaten to within an inch of his life, each blow prefaced by a moon-faced member of Cake Cream saying "Axl says hello."

    Soon Andy's inert, crumpled form was taken by wheelbarrow to a clearing in a nearby woods; Cake Cream were there merrily digging a hole, singing "One hundred barrels of beer on the wall..."

    At Axl's instruction they placed the still breathing Andy in a coffin and lowered him into the hole; Axl had installed a light in the box with a little button that said "Push me."

    Dirt was shoveled, the casket covered, the job complete; the boys went to DQ and feasted on strawberry blizzards, french fries and gummy worms while they waited.

    Soon a buzzer beeped in Axl's pocket.

    "Ah, he finally woke up."

    Back they went, doing flips, hand stands, splits and cartwheels en route; they quickly dug up the casket.

    Axl leaned in, opened the cover and looking in Andy's eyes said "Hello Andy."

    Andy screamed and screamed and screamed...
    Last edited by MisterV; 04-27-2023 at 11:14 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  14. #514
    The next day, they got up. They went to Andy's Room and woke him up.

    Axl, Jimmy, James, Billy, and Mike told Andy they were taking him to therapy today. Andy said he didn't want to go to Therapy.

    Axl pointed out that his obsessive clinginess he showed yesterday to Axl was unhealthy. Cake Cream backed up Axl. Andy blushed. Andy was like, "But Therapy is for crazy People," Andy lamented. I'm not crazy.

    Axl said,"It doesn't mean that you're crazy if you're in Therapy. Therapy is meant to talk to a licensed Professional about your Problems. And besides, you guys took me to Therapy shortly after you met me and it worked wonders for me."


    Andy was like,"I still don't want to go.

    Axl was like,"I have Power Of Attorney over you and legally, I can call a Mental Institute and have them drag you out of here in a straight jacket and strap you in a gurney and force you into Therapy.

    "You wouldn't!" Andy cried emotionally.

    Axl says,"According to my Power Of Attorney rights over you, I have full Authority to make that happen to you. Either you let us take you to Therapy or I call a Mental Institute and have them force you into Therapy. Either way, you're going to end up in Therapy. Billy, James, Jimmy and Mike all backed up Axl.

    Andy's shoulders slumped and he caved. "Alright, I'll let you guys take me to Therapy today," Andy said, reluctantly.

    Cake Cream and Axl all smiled. Andy chose the best way!"

    They all got ready, ate, and put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and took a LYFT to Therapy.

    At Therapy, they were quickly attended too. Axl, Billy, James, Mike, and Jimmy paid for a Session for Andy.

    In Andy's Session, Andy opened up about the Trauma he felt over Mark Riley. He said,"I had a nightmare that Mark Riley shot me. I shudder every time I see that viral video of Mark showing up to my old Hotel Room with a gun and banging aggressively on my old Hotel Room.

    The Psychiatrist was like," Mark Riley is incarcerated in another State in the Island of Hawaii. You're in Miami, roughly 4,500 miles away from you . He can't get you. You're safe. Andy told the Psychiatrist about being traumatized over the fact that he could have been shot to death by Mark and Mark could have went around posing as Andy while Andy lied dead in a Hotel Room.

    The Psychiatrist said,"I'm going to prescribe you Lumic, a Medication that suppresses Trauma. You'll feel much better soon. Axl spoke up. Is there a way you can just zap Andy's trauma away like the Neuralyzer from Men In Black?"

    The Psychiatrist said,"It seems like you're suggesting Electrotherapy for Andy. I'm not sure if zapping Andy with Electrotherapy is right for him. Lumic is a much safer alternative than zapping Andy."

    Axl asked,"What are the side effects of Lumic?"

    The Psychiatrist replied,"Side effects can include, Mood swings, frequent urination, excessive thirst, blood clots, excessive sleepiness, restless nights, weight gain, depression and thoughts of suicide."

    Axl wryly said,"And those side effects are SAFER than just merely trying to zap Andy's trauma away with Electrotherapy?"

    The Psychiatrist replied,"Those are just possible side effects."

    Axl responded,"What are the possible side effects of zapping Andy with Electrotherapy?"

    The Psychiatrist replied," Blindness, deafness, hallucinations, paralysis, stroke, heart attack.

    Both side effects options sound so wonderful, " Axl said wryly.

    Axl asked Andy what he thought and he was like,"None of these side effect options sound particularly good."

    Axl was like,"They don't sound particularly good to me either."

    Axl and Andy both laughed.

    Billy, Mike, James and Jimmy were wryly like,"We can just stick Andy out in a thunderstorm and let lightning give him free therapy! "

    Everyone laughed at this.

    Andy seriously opened up more and felt better. The Session was a success. Andy felt much better knowing he had 5 Brothers who loved him and cared about him and supported him. Andy couldn't believe he stole money from his Family and temporarily abandoned them. He was grateful they still helped him out even after he robbed them out of 1.6 Billion. Andy wryly smiled at the fact that they just wanted him safe even before he officially gave back the 1.6 billion plus extra. After the Session, they went to Burger King and had a nice lunch.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  15. #515
    A huge piece of cow bone had somehow gotten into Andy's burger, causing him to choke.

    Andy fell on the floor, turning people, moving spastically.

    "Fuck this place" said Axl, "I knew we should have gone to DQ."

    James turned to Jimmy and said "bet you a buck he doesn't make it."

    "You're on."

    All the members of Cake Cream except for Billy got in on the action, making bets: then they watched Andy to see what would happen.

    Billy hadn't bet and was very concerned that his band-mate might die; he leaned over toward Andy at the same moment Andy expectorated the chunk of bone with volcanic force.

    The bone hit Andy in the forehedad, causing a big, purple swollen lump to rise up.

    "You look like Cyclops" laughed Jimmy; Cake Cream agreed and thanked Jimmy for voicing such an astute comment; they were welcomed and shook hands.

    Andy was so pissed at the unending bullshit that he blasted out a stream of bloody farts.

    "I could have died, and the only one who cared was Billy; the rest of you guys were just doing your regular circle jerk."

    Cake Cream looked at their shoes, abashed; Axl spoke up: "Yes, but it was a betting opportunity. 'Nuf said."

    "You were betting whether I lived or died, that is horrible."

    "Oh shut the fuck up you whining baby, you pulled through."

    Andy fumed and plotted his revenge on his "brothers:" it would be best served cold ...
    Last edited by MisterV; 04-28-2023 at 05:09 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  16. #516
    above S/B "turning purple"not "turning people."

    Oh, the bone hit BILLY in the forehead, not Andy.

    sloppy me
    What, Me Worry?

  17. #517
    Mr. V, yep, you got the nail on the head that Andy and Billy have a very close Friendship in Cake Cream and Billy would be very concerned if Andy begun choking, although Axl, James, Jimmy Mike wouldn't be betting whether Andy lives or dies after he starts choking, they'd all be concerned, and help him out, it's just that Billy would be the most concerned and helping Andy out the most.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  18. #518
    After eating at Burger King, they went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and watched the news.

    Mark Riley had ESCAPED Custody!

    Andy cried. Axl, Jimmy, James, Billy and Mike's hearts went out to him. Andy had just had a successful Therapy Session. Mark's escape from Custody was NOT what he needed now.

    Andy's phone rang. It was from the same number that Mark had called him from when he was pretending to be Axl.

    Cake Cream and Axl decided this phone should be on speaker. Andy took their advice and answered the phone call and put it on speaker. They all listened intently. "

    Andy hung up the phone in scared shock..

    Mark said in his eerily similar Axl Rose impersonation,"Hi, Andy it's me, Axl Rose. I'm coming to see you soon! I can't wait to see you! "

    There was a loud, obnoxious, aggressive banging on the Luxurious Penthouse Suite about a minute later.

    Mark said in his creepy Axl Rose impersonation voice," I'm here, Andy, I'm Axl Rose, open up and let me in!"

    Andy felt chills. Jimmy, Axl, James, Billy, and Mike were all weirded out too.

    Andy asked Mark,"What's the password?" Cake Cream and Axl were glad Andy took the password thing seriously.

    Mark replied,"I love you!" In the eerie Axl sounding voice.

    Andy replied,"You're not Axl. You're Mark Riley, I'm calling the Police!"

    Mark responded,"I'm not Mark. My name is W. Axl Rose. I was born in Lafayette, Indiana in 1962. I time traveled from 1987 to 2022. You and I are Friends, Andy, or did you forget that? Please let me in. Mark Mark was still using the creepy Axl Rose impersonation voice. Axl was freaked out, hearing how creepily close Mark's impersonation sounded like him.

    Andy said,"Leave me alone, Mark."

    Mark responded, "I love you, Andy! Let me in!" In his REAL voice. He then switched back to his creepy Axl Rose voice impersonation and said,"I love you, Andy! I'm coming in!" Mark begun constantly running into the deadbolted Penthouse Suite, trying to break down the door.

    Andy was freaked out. So were Axl, James, Jimmy, Mike and Billy. They all moved the armoire and put it behind the door as extra precaution.

    Andy called 911 and alerted them that Mark was at his Penthouse Suite trying to break in. The Cops soon arrived at the Penthouse Suite and tazed Mark and arrested him and led him away into a cop car once again.


    Andy was understandably shaken. He couldn't believe Mark was so creepily obsessed with him. Cake Cream and Axl were all uncomfortable too.
    Last edited by Tasha; 04-28-2023 at 07:38 PM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

  19. #519
    Judge V arranged it so that his crooked nephew represented Mark Riley on the new criminal charges, and the next day Mark and his attorney appeared in court before the bent legal mind, Judge V.

    The prosecutor argued for no bail as Mark had escaped from prison and attempted to break in Andy's door; Mark's attorney asked for bail, claiming it was all just a misunderstanding.

    Judge V, mindful that HE was in cahoots with Mark, had arranged his escape and directed him to the suite, allowed Mark out on ten thousand dollars bail.

    It was posted immediately

    Mark met with the bent jurist; to avoid discovery they shared a private Swedish sauna.

    Between beating each other's backs with evergreens, plans were made to grab Andy's money once and for all, and for them to then retire to Bali.

    "My niece works at the DQ those birds haunt, I'll have her slip them roofies with a fentanyl kicker in theri strawberry milkshakes; while they're knocked out you break into their suite and steal the money: he keeps it under the mattress so bring a wheel barrow."

    They sat in wait.
    What, Me Worry?

  20. #520
    Andy wondered why Mark Riley was creepily obsessed with him as he was the Keyboardist and wasn't creepily obsessed with Mike, who was the Lead Singer of Cake Cream.

    Mike wryly said, "I am Straight in more ways than one, so I wouldn't want Mark to be creepily obsessed with me."

    Andy replied,"I'm Gay, but don't want this 40 something year old man being creepily obsessed with me."

    Axl replied,"Mark's also creepily obsessed with me too. He keeps impersonating me!"

    Everyone acknowledged that Mark had a creepy obsession with Axl too.

    Soon, Mark had a new Interrogation.

    Mark was asked why he tried to break into Andy's Hotel Room today.

    Mark responded,"Because I love Andy. I want to be with him. Andy and I were meant to be together. I think about Andy night and day."

    He was questioned why he once again pretended to be Axl when Andy didn't believe him the first time he pretended to be Axl.

    Mark said,"I thought maybe he'd fall for it the second time and let me in."

    He was questioned why he constantly ran into the door trying to break in when Andy didn't open it himself.

    Mark replied,"I wanted to get Andy so bad, I went to desperate measures."

    Mark was asked why he wanted ANDY, the Keyboardist and not Mike the Lead Singer.

    Mark responded,"The heart wants what it wants. I'm attracted to Andy, not Mike."

    Mark was asked why he switched to his REAL voice for a little while.

    Mark responded,"I had a slip of the tongue for a little while, and spoke in my REAL voice and then quickly went back into my Axl Rose voice impersonation."

    Mark added,"I was unarmed today. I wasn't going to pull a gun on Andy and rob him at gunpoint out of his debit cards and passwords like I planned to the other day. I wasn't going to harm Andy this time. I just wanted to make out and embrace him. I love Andy."


    Mark was soon escorted out was said that Mark would be put in a much more secure part of the Correctional Facility.

    Andy, James, Jimmy, Mike Billy and Axl were all shell shocked. They couldn't believe Mark or this new Interrogation. Cake Cream and Axl all chilled.

    Andy had trouble sleeping, so Mike offered to sleep in the same bed as him.

    Andy gratefully accepted. Andy and Mike went to bed and they talked about Mark's obsession with Andy.

    Andy said,"Am I being punished with Mark Riley as Karma for stealing the 1.6 Billion from you guys?"

    Mike said," You did fuck up royally by stealing the 1.6 Billion from us, but you soon felt bad about it and gave us back the money you stole plus extra. Mark Riley is just a nutcase who is WAY too interested in you.

    Andy said,"I'm truly sorry for stealing that 1.6 Billion from you guys in the first place."

    Mike said,"We know, Andy, we know. We all forgive you." Mike smiled and Andy smiled back. Now, let's get some rest, little Brother." Andy blushed, knowing that Mike was a couple of months older than him. In fact, Jimmy, James, Mike, and Billy were all older than Andy. Only Axl was a year younger than Andy technically. Andy felt better and Mike and he both fell asleep shortly after.
    Last edited by Tasha; 04-29-2023 at 05:48 AM.
    https://photos.app.goo.gl/Zk2WAFzDcrJ7pjNB7

    Take comfort in the fact that no one is actually backing up his wishes to have you permanantly banned.


    Smart is knowing a Tomato is a fruit.

    Wise is knowing a Tomato doesn't belong in a fruit salad.



    I am glad to get my full posting rights back! Thank you Dan!

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