Originally Posted by
MisterV
Soon after it went viral fans clamored for Axl to get in the ring and fight Mark Riley; an online petition to this effect was circulated and signed by one hundred million brain dead idiots.
This shook Axl to the core as at heart he was a big pussy: all hat and no cattle.
Judge V. called Axl, saying "I am Mark Riley's manager and he accepts your challenge. The fight is next Friday, be there."
Axl shit himself then curled up in a corner, sucking his thumb; he prayed to a god he didn't believe in for salvation.
Salvation arrived in the form of an instacart delivery person: none other than that defrocked ice skater, Tanya Harding.
"Just whack him in the knee" was her advice; Axl tipped generously then went and bought a piece of heavy pipe.
Axl accepted the invitation to fight Mark Riley; when the day arrived they squared off in the ring.
Axl pulled the pipe out of his pants and was about to give Mark Riley a "Nancy Kerrigan" when Judge V., the arbiter of all that is bitter and vile, yelled "Foul."
The ref stopped the fight and awarded the victory to Mark Riley; Axl was booed out of the ring and pelted with water bottles, hot dogs and a dead, smelly raccoon.
He soon became the laughingstock of the internet, whereas Mark Riley found that groupies followed him and just couldn't get enough.