Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[MisterV]

Why would Stephen want to make amends?

Hell, the old boy'd probably relish the chance to give his former ward a good thrashing, if as they say "history repeats itself."

[Tasha]

https://www.reddit.com/r/GunsNRoses/...ey_circa_1967/

Here's a picture of Axl as a child hugging Stephen Bailey. Axl has a happy look of,"This is my Father, who I love," and Stephen has a confused and uncomfortable look of,"Why is this random kid I don't know hugging me?

[MisterV]

Tasha, those are "real" people but OBVIOUSLY the characters in your story are not.

I mean...time travel?

Doppelgangers?

Everything you write, and my response, is fiction.

There's no requirement that I must stick to a script.

Fact is, I know nothing of Mr. Rose and his history "in the real world" and that's just fine.

I simply use your story as a jumping off point for my whimsy.

[Tasha]

Mr. V, were you able to check out the picture of Axl as a child and Stephen?

[MisterV]

I looked at it, but that changes nothing.

This is a work of fiction: anything goes.

Heck, write yourself into it, maybe as the clerk at Walgreen's who sells Axl Viagra.

Whatever, just run with it.

[Tasha]

I looked at it, but that changes nothing.

This is a work of fiction: anything goes.

Heck, write yourself into it, maybe as the clerk at Walgreen's who sells Axl Viagra.

Whatever, just run with it.

The look in Stephen's face looks like he is VERY uncomfortable like that's some complete random kid he's never met before. I feel that that picture was a foreshadowing to Stephen abusing Axl. :/

[MisterV]

Here's lookin' at ya.

[ilovebigknockers]

Axl, Axl, Billy, Bobby, Andy, Mike, Dave, James, Jimmy, Jammy, Jemmy, Joomy, Stephen, Dave 2, Melissa, Tasha, Karen, Bobo Koko, and Nathan the man in the penis costume rubbed their collective eyes and stretched their legs as their eyes adjusted to the bright lights. They were in all decked in soft cotton robes and seated in comfortable chairs in a room with soothing ambient lighting that vaguely resembled a Mormon temple. Had they all been together in the same room before, Axl wondered? Back up a minute. Just where the hell were they? The thought was interrupted by a soft voice that seemed to come out of every surface in unison.

"Welcome esteemed visitors. Sorry for the abruptness of what I am about to tell you. This is the year 3024 and you were all recently thawed after having been cryogenically preserved for 1000 years."

The message was interrupted by Billy letting out a pungent squeaker that sent ripples of 1000 year old egg wafting through the room. Some things never change.

"Why the hell was we frozed?" Tasha barked, as she too blasted ass for the first time in a millennium.

The voice continued. "Esteemed guests, you were cryogenically preserved in accordance with the wishes of Axl, who made provisions for all of his closest companions to be preserved upon their deaths. It so happened that each of you met an untimely demise in the year 2024. But thanks to many scientific breakthroughs over the past 1000 years, we were finally able to revive each of you to full health. Soon we will begin the process of integrating you into human society, such as it exists in the current year. Due to the risk of culture shock, we are keeping you quarantined in a special safe house for now."

"Where's my penis costume?" asked Nathan the man who used to have a penis costume but now didn't.

"Where's my frozen pizza?" asked Billy, who wanted more attention.

The voice continued, this time with a hint of impatience. "In the year 3024 it is expressly forbidden to galavant around in a penis costume. And frozen pizza no longer exists. Also, you may be dismayed to learn that ostentatious flatulence is a crime punishable by cryogenic preservation for 1000 years."

"Fuck that," said Billy. "Put be back under for another grand. Hopefully I wake up when farting is cool again and frozen pizza is back on the menu."

[MisterV]

Tasha pulled her phone from her hideous handbag and was happily surprised to see that it had held a charge.

Curious about the way things now were, she was able to find an internet site still called "Vegas Casino Talk."

She queefed joyously, logged in, and was shocked.

The same people who'd been there in 2024 were still there, making the same ridiculous claims, arguments, and threats as always.

"Hey Voice" yelled Tasha: "Something fishy is going on here, VCT is still up and running and with the same folks as 1000 years ago. What, are they doppelgangers or did they get frozen too?"

The dulcet Voice answered.

"Uh, well, that's just it, the thing I wanted you to slowly absorb, to avoid shock. Fuck it, here goes."

Tasha rubbed her private parts in warm anticipation; she wondered whether they still had Bingo, and if her free play would still work. She began to pant.

"The world has changed drastically since your day. Over time the benefits of cannabis were embraced by all the peoples and governments of the world. Now it's the three C's: 'continuous cannabis consumption."

The Voice could not be seen, but the inhalation of good leaf was quite audible, followed by the sound of superior cannabis being exhaled.

"We're too blissed out to get anything done. Now all we do is get high, go online, munch out, gamble, and drink."

Tasha was still baffled.

"That's cool, but how is it that the same folks are posting on VCT today, 1000 years later?"

"Oh, that's all AI generated material based on careful examination of the Historical Records from VCT. The entire planet reads it now, it's The Law. Oh, that and mandatory Bingo."

Tasha finished rubbing herself amidst shudders of joy: she was gonna like it here.

[1Hit1der]

Here's lookin' at ya.

Keep squeezing out those (gold-dust covered) dollars. Ha.

[Tasha]

They went to Denny's and had a nice dinner. Stephen, Axl, and Cake Cream all chatted amicably. Axl and Stephen were glad they had made a truce.

They paid and left. Axl and Cake Cream said their goodbyes to Stephen and vice versa.

Axl and Cake Cream went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and soon fell asleep.

The next day, they got up, ate and got ready for the day. The televised Rocking Rick interview vent viral and Fans noticed that Axl seemed to look at Stephen like a child looking at his Father. Cake Cream and Axl blushed. The Fans thought the interview was good. Cake Cream and Axl were happy.

They decided to go to the mall. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the mall. At the mall, Fans asked for autographs and selfies and they all obliged.

The Fans were happy. The Fans and Cake Cream and Axl all chatted happily and then said their goodbyes. Cake Cream and Axl shopped at the mall and then went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and watched some TV. Axl decided to make more "Confessions," for fun.

Axl said,"I'm a black belt in Karate." "I fought in the Vietnam War. "I'm actually an Alien from Mercury." I was on the Titanic when it sunk." "I am a NAVY SEAL. Me and Older Axl are actually twins. "I got eaten by Jaws The Shark. I am Darth Vader." I was the Pharaoh Ramses in a past life.

Cake Cream all giggled at Axl's "Confessions." Axl laughed too.


Jimmy said,"I'll call Older Axl and have him confirm all your claims." Jimmy winked.

The rest of Cake Cream giggled.

Axl said,"Please don't call Older Axl and have him confirm what I just said. He's older a.d won't remember what I said."

All of Cake Cream giggled and asked Axl of he made up complete bullshit again. Axl admitted he made up complete bullshit again. Everybody laughed.

Cake Cream and Axl all chilled more and then went to sleep.

[MisterV]

In dreamland, Axl quaked in fear at the huge rear ends hovering above him.

"What hideous world is this, where butts fly?"

But the butts weren't flying; they simultaneously let loose with a blizzard of turds; Axl darted madly to avoid the oncoming feces.

It was then that a wall of urine descended upon him, causing him to be unable to breathe; he was nearly unconscious when...

"What time is it?" he wondered as he awoke from the nightmare.

[ilovebigknockers]

Several weeks after being thawed out and learning the cultural norms and laws under the One World Government of 3024, Axls and the gang were let out of the safe house to explore the grounds of the scientific research complex in which they were being detained. Luckily, spiders of all species had gone extinct in the 2400s, so they could enjoy a nice roll in the grass. Billy looked up a the sky and was about to propose a game of "what does that cloud shape look like" when he remembered that "what does that cloud shape look like" was outlawed. He had changed his mind about wanting to be frozen again until farts and frozen pizza were back, but he really needed to fart and take a dump right now.

He turned to Tasha and asked, "Can I borrow your hideous hand bag for a sec?"

Unfortunately for Billy and the men in the security room who where tasked with watching a live feed of the gang, Tasha misheard Billy and thought he wanted sex. She stripped down to her birthday suit in 0.001 seconds and was atop Billy in 0.002 seconds.

"Stop!" Billy screamed as Tasha had her way with him. Unfortunately, it was also outlawed to turn down sex. When she was done, a fleet of drone-ponies appeared to take them all to their mandatory bingo session. The drone-ponies were as slow as real ponies in the year 2024, but they had the advantage of not smelling like farm animals nor randomly shitting while trotting. The posse passed by another group of thawed out people who were taking civics lessons on the lawn. Tasha recognized many of the faces and barked,

"Hey, how come Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce, Kim Kardashian, Hunter Biden, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Jeff Bezos, Condoleeza Rice, Mohammed bin Salman, Megan Markle, Prince Harry, and Magnus Carlsen all get to be in a group together? Why aren't they with our group?"

"Um, because we're famous and cool, bitch." said Neil deGrasse Tyson.

"We're Axl fucken Rose!" said the Axls, "We should be in the celebrity group!"

"You mean, you don't want to be with us, your friends?" asked Nathan-sans-penis, dejectedly.

"Hell to the nope, you fucken freaks. Palling around with other celebrities and looking down on the commoners is the pinnacle of celebrity life. That should be my life! Fuck, I really fumbled the bag a thousand years ago! Hey Kimmy, hop on my dick!" Axl barked, but the celebrity group had moved on.

Just then a drone-crow flew over Axl's head, shat on him, and dropped an envelope on the drone-pony's head. He opened it to find a fine for $10000000000000 for violating Rule 879823 Section 8397432. No talking to celebrities unless they speak to you first.

[1Hit1der]

I wonder that the posts don't get longer, on the end of forums. Or that we are left to the posters who churn out longer posts. Perhaps a sign of loneliness, or emptiness in life, respectively. I recall that, when the forum was hopping, the posts were short, and snappy.

[1Hit1der]

In dreamland, Axl quaked in fear at the huge rear ends hovering above him.

"What hideous world is this, where butts fly?"

But the butts weren't flying; they simultaneously let loose with a blizzard of turds; Axl darted madly to avoid the oncoming feces.

It was then that a wall of urine descended upon him, causing him to be unable to breathe; he was nearly unconscious when...

"What time is it?" he wondered as he awoke from the nightmare.

... Spasming and Howling, Bowels Loosening and Bladders Emptying, Vomiting Helplessly ...

[MisterV]

Tasha smiled and walked away from her keyboard, having penned the latest chapter in her Great American Novel.

She belched loudly; "Too much okra" she thought, then she let loose with a panty-blasting fart that blew the seat out of her yoga pants: "Too much WoV."

Hungry as usual, she scarfed a half bag of Oreos, two bottles of Yoo-Hoo and two conch fritters, then left her hovel and boarded the Fun Bus to the casino.

En route visions of Bingo danced in her noggin; she'd win every game and soon have the money to leave Miami and return to Nigeria (or was it South Africa?) to live with her "true" people, and not all these white devils.

A man in a penis costume boarded and sat next to her; they struck up a conversation and realized they were both autistic, not that it did any good: when you're fucked, you're fucked.

They walked through the maw of the garish clip joint and immersed themselves in its familiar surreality: "Ah, my people..." she thought before entering the Bingo hall.

Alas, Tasha didn't win anything; boarding the bus back home to the ghetto she cried but comforted herself with a bucket of Pop-eye's wings (new to the menu, hooray).

Broke again, without hope, and late for work: the beat-down goes on.

"I thought that Black Lives Mattered?" she wailed.

Once again rhe Rocks of Reality dashed her False Hopes.

[ilovebigknockers]

The man in the penis costume, however, had a great night at the bingo hall. He won $234,765 and decided to treat his closest friends to blizzards at DQ. When he got to counter, he was startled to see Axl Rose behind the register.

"Hey, didn't you used to be in White Snake?" the man in the penis costume asked.

"No!" Axl barked, "I was in Guns and Roses!"

"Oh. Cool. So, can I get 10 strawberry blizzards?"

"That'll be $230,000. For here or to go?"

[ilovebigknockers]

The man in the penis costume pondered what to do with his remaining $4,765. It had been several pages since someone mentioned the lottery, he mused, when suddenly he espied in the distance the glowing window of a 24/7 c-store that sold lotto. Chuck Norris-style, he spin-kicked the air while farting until a fartornado formed, then he alighted the funnel and traveled at the speed of wind toward the store.

The lone cashier was a very bored looking woman whose very long name tag said "KarenNathanKentryKariceTasha," and because the tag was so long and imbalanced it kept poking her in the chin. With trepidation, the man in the penis costume asked for $4,765 worth of Powerball quick picks. The surly woman grunted in displeasure, squatted a bit to emit a pungent barker, then told the man in the penis costume it would take the machine 2 hours and 37 minutes to print that many quick picks. The man in the penis costume said he could wait all night.

Hoping to lighten the mood, he said to the cashier "Hey, did you know Axl Rose from some 80s band now works at that DQ up the road? Wild. He must have blown all his millions on drugs to be working there now."

KarenNathanKentryKariceTasha's eyes widened and the vein on her forehead began to bulge. "Some 80s band????" she growled through gritted teeth. "Axl Fucken Rose was in Guns N' Roses you penis freak."

"Oh yeah, Guns and Roses, sorry my bad," the man in the penis costume said meekly.

"It's not 'and' you asswipe, it's capital N with an apostrophe incorrectly placed on the right!"

KNKKT could no longer contain her rage and began thrashing and utterly trashing the store. Shit, there goes my quick picks the man in the penis costume mused.

[MisterV]

As it happened the local gendarmes walked in, intent on getting their fix of "free" donuts.

"Whoa" said Barney; he put his bullet in his revolver, pointed it at the berserker clutching a hideous handbag, and yelled "Freeze, Mammy, you're under arrest."

A surprised clerk let fly a deuce, soiling her yoga pants; they really stank up a storm en route to the hoosegow.

The following morning she appeared before Judge V. for her first appearance; she quaked in fear as she watched him adroitly weave a hangman's noose from his supply of rope.

"Next victim...I mean, next case" he said, his eyes glazed from too much coke, his colon closed from too many opiates.

[MisterV]

The jaded jurist checked the time on his Patek Phillippe Grandmaster Chime 6300A while letting fly a blast of gas that ruffled the beehive hairdo of his clerk.

"The first case today is that of KarenNathanKentryKariceTasha ; please come forward."

The defendant, clad in a Mickey Mouse top and yoga pants sticking to her ass cheeks with smelly, dried and encrusted feces, stepped forward.

"You are charged with Riot, Mayhem and General Assholery; how do you plead?"

At that moment the stout oak doors of the courtoom burst open and all eyes swung to espy the new arrival.

A swarthy fellow in a cheap suit entered and said "Judge V., I represent this woman."

Judge V. had not seen this fellow before, and asked "What is your name, counselor?"

"My name is Arabic and impossible for westerners to pronounce, so just call me "The Hound."

This resonated with the aribiter; "Have you discussed this case with your client?"

"Not yet your holiness, I just flew in from Tahoe and boy are my arms sore."

Judge V. was not amused.

"Humor is prohibited in my courtroom; I am holding you in contempt. Bailiff, take this filthy dog to the kennels."

Sans an attorney, KarenNathanKentryKariceTasha was now eligible for a court appointed attorney.

"I am appointing Axl Rose as your attorney in fact."

Ecstatic, she profusely thanked him and was welcomed.