Final nail in the coffin

[MisterV]

Pointless life

I agree, as currently lived your life certainly seems to be pointless: you're just spinning your wheels.

AP's like KJ seem to approach it correctly: for him it's just a job, but one he takes seriously and in a balanced way.

You however look at it as a crusade, a war, an emotional battle against the Evil Empire.

You come off as an unmedicated bipolar / manic-depressive.

Dude, lighten up, it's just a job ... assuming you're making enough money to support yourself, which is still in doubt.

Get married, settle down, get a job, play for fun and most of all quit being so fucking uptight and angry against the world: you clearly ack the discipline / mental fortitude and will almost certainly fail and jump off a bridge if you keep riding your personal crazy train.

So it is written.