Covid-19 by the numbers

[mickeycrimm]

I don't know much of anything about COVID-19, except how to listen to experts and evaluate evidence. And yeah, my girlfriend has a friend who was recruited to work on the vaccine, and yeah, my girlfriend's daughter has a doctorate that is technically about how to push new medicines through the evaluation process, but those just add context to my very simple perspective: I listen to the scientists. You should try it sometime.

Mickey, you've gotten everything about the virus wrong. I mean, really, it's been embarrassing.

Like your 700 per-day death rate, take a victory lap nonsense. So check today's tallies, my friend. To use a famous and appropriate line, "Houston, we have a problem."

Greetings from the politburo. Good job, comrade. You are doing great things for the revolution. With continued efforts like yours we will soon bring the capitalist pigs to their knees. Long live the revolution!

Now, we have another job for you. Go to Seattle to the CHOP ZONE. The useful idiot protestors there have outlived their usefulness to the revolution. We have reassessed their value to the revolution. We need you to go there and start passing out job applications. At the prospect of going to work they will all scatter to the hills.

Power to the people!!! Keep up the good work, comrade.