You have mentioned this multiple times now. "Condescending, high horse, talks down to". Some really great AP's that I have run into on various forums seem to talk down to people at times, including my one real offline AP "friend" that I associate with. On the forums he has been on, he frequently talks down to people and other AP's, including me, many times. You have to separate that out.
I don't know maybe that 'chip on the shoulder' type thing is part of the fabric that makes up a good AP.