Axl had a dream; like MLK's dream, only better.
"I will end homelessness" he proclaimed.
Inspired by his nocturnal emission (as well as by his weird dream) he went about the task of Changing The World.
He rented a van and then went to Bumville where he convinced five filthy bums to get in the van, enroute to a new life.
He took them to a warehouse which had a stage and band equipment all set up and ready to go.
The bums smiled, popped blue pills, shot up, drank MD 20-20 and farted up a storm: fact is one bum shit his pants but it wasn't much of a stinker.
Axl showed them how to fake it, and they thanked him, then faked it: decent fakery, he thought: time to go.
He booked the local venue for a concert that night; fans packed the joint.
Show time: Axl gave an inspirational talk to his glassy-eyed, fentanyl-popping troubadours.
"Alright you fucking bums" Axl said, "Your lives have been shit until this moment; losers all. But this is a moment that will live in infamy."
The curtain opened, the bums started "playing" their instruments and lip synching to canned audio.
Fans started booing, throwing chairs, Pez dispensers, even an usher and a goat were hurled on stage.
"Wait" said Axl, "let me explain. All the money from this show goes to help the homeless. Aren't you kind people concerned, empathetic and compassionate about them and their needs?"
A roar arose from the crowd: "Fuck the Poor" and "Eat shit and die you worthless fuckwit" and "What is reality?" serenaded him; the last thing he recalled was a muzzle flash before a well-aimed .45 round hit him in the neck, at the spot unprotected by his motorcycle helmet and bullet proof vest.
And the band "played" on...
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