The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental.
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Billy, who was last seen hijacking a city bus to tour his one man show, had finally made it to Viva Las Vegas. The back of the bus was filled with Walmart bags filled with his excrement. He needed to find a dumpster to unload them. He espied a greasy spoon joint with an unsecured dumpster in the back alley. Jackpot, he yipped out loud, pun intended. As he made his way to the back, he espied something even more fortuitous, a man burning ants with a magnifying glass. Billy bent down to examine his excellent and efficient work and as he did so he let rip a hot squeaker smelling of sulfur and maple syrup. He had been living on McDonald's pancakes and egg mcmuffins for two weeks after all. The man burning ants did not twitch his nose the slightest.
"Nice work man. I'm Axl Rose," Billy lied as he held out his hand.
"They call me Mr. V." the man burning ants lied. Seeing Billy's outstretched hand, he dropped trou and laid a steaming deuce in it.
"What the fuck was that for?" Billy yelled.
"I read on the internet Axl Rose likes to play with fresh dumps. Dont tell me it was a lie. I'm very sorry sir."
Billy collected himself. "Oh yeah, I do indeed. It's just that I already got two from a fan earlier, so, you know, I'm good on fresh dumps for today. "
The two men shook hands, thanked, and welcomed one another before going their separate ways. Billy mused that although he had no idea what was going on, he was glad that he showed up to make a gaseous contribution to this man's life story.
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