Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[MisterV]

My Fictional Axl doesn't have a net worth of $15 Million, he is actually in debt of roughly 73 Million according to my calculations! :O

So you said before, i.e. that they have more money than I claim they have.

Just one thing, Tasha: you didn't subtract the cost of all those strawberry blizzards: these guys absolutely LOVE DQ strawberry blizzards, and they aren't exactly free these days.

My numbers are the ones Axl and the boys are running with, not yours, and since they pissed it away at Las Vegas slots they're now broke.

Hell, it's The American Way.

[Tasha]

I'm thinking of writing soon something like,"Axl did some calculations and realized he was roughly 73 Million in debt. A lot of Axl's debt came from helping out Cake Cream. Axl was Cake Cream's Power Of Attorney and could easily have access to Cake Cream's roughly combined 3.5 Billions and could easily "Borrow 73 Million," from Cake Cream and then run for the hills, hide and cut off all contact with them. Axl's conscience told him not to do that and reminded him that he could easily just admit to Cake Cream he was 73 Million in debt and ask them to give him 73 Million. Better than ,"Borrowing," 73 Million from them and running for hills, hiding, and cutting off all contact with them. Axl decided to do the latter.

[MisterV]

No, please, don't write that.

It sucks.

[Tasha]

Actually, I made some mistakes. I reread some parts, and Axl actually payed a little over $250 Million for the Lawsuit for Assault and property damage, not just over $1 Million. He got paid 100 Million for Bitter Sweets, not 50 Million, he got just over 33 Million for Bronze Cake, just over 33 Million for Cream Rose not 5 or 10 Million each. Axl is more like roughly 170 Million in debt, not roughly 73 Million! :O

[MisterV]

Axl's confusion as to keeping track of how much money he and the band had was leaked to the fans.

It was soon all over the internet that Axl was innumerate, he couldn't count; follow up showed he didn't know how to read music either.

Probing questions revealed that none of Cake Cream knew how to count or to read music either.

Some wag renamed them "Fake Dream" and soon they were the laughingstock of the music world.

But they didn't really mind; they knew word would get out sooner or later, and they'd stuffed enough cash under their matresses to keep them in DQ strawberry blizzards for years to come, even at their prodigious rate of consumption.

"Who needs to know how to count, or to read music, so long as our hearts are in the right place" said Axl.

Fake Dream thanked him, shook his hand and were welcomed.

"Hey, let's try something new, something only we can pull off."

With that they huddled, discussed, planned and performed a live online video for their few remaining fans.

Fake Dream all dropped trou, faced the camera and from their sphincters came the classic tune, "Wipeout."

When finished, Axl gave them all some TP for their own personal "wipe out."

"That was shitty" laughed Axl.

[MisterV]

Axl and the members of Fake Dream high-fived one another over their gaseous rendition of the Surfaris' classic tune.

"What's next, Axl?"

"I was hoping you'd ask; are you ready to try something new?"

They were ready; in fact they seethed with untrammeled readiness, their gaseous emissions telegraphing their zeal.

"We've worked hard as a band giving people what they want; let us continue, but in a new way."

Feet stomped, hands clapped, briefs were soiled.

"All the young 'uns, our former fans, love to get wasted so let's help them."

Wild applause; Andy slapped himself uncontrollably while pissing his pants, he was so excited.

"See this? It's a pill press. I have friends in low places who will sell us all we need to make and sell the drugs the people of America are demanding."

"Drugs? But they're illegal."

"Hey, you saw how good I was in court before when I was your lawyer; they bust us, I get us off, easy-peasy."

Fake Dream huddled together and concluded it would be easy-peasy.

"But what about the cartels?"

"Who cares about the cartels, not me" Axl proclaimed proudly.

The members of Fake Dream huddled once again, and concluded that since the cartels didn't speak much English they would not be a problem in an English-speaking country.

"Alright, we're in."

A week later their enterprise began; Andy and Axl operated the pill press, James bagged and boxed the product, and the others were assigned spots in the distribution chain.

"Now remember," said Axl, "don't take the pills yourself, they could be deadly. Just sell them to high school and college students, and especially to the homeless: they're our target audience."

Fake Dream were once again men with a mission...

[Tasha]

The next day, while Cake Cream were all still sleeping, Axl posted on Social Media that he hoped Fans would give Cake Cream and Axl another chance after that awful show recently. He told them future shows would be better.



Fans tentatively responded,"We don't know. That last show was one of the crappiest shows I've ever seen."



Axl responded,""Yep, it was bad, very bad, but Cake Cream and I weren't feeling well when we did that awful show. We're all feeling a lot better now."



The Fans were like,"Okay, we'll give you guys another chance."



Axl smiled and thanked them and was welcomed. They all said their goodbyes.

Cake Cream all soon woke up.

Axl told Cake Cream that the Fans were willing to give them another chance and Cake Cream were all relieved and excited. Axl booked them for another James L Knight Center Show tomorrow. They practiced, ate, chilled, and got ready for bed and went to sleep. When they woke up, it was time to get ready for a morning show. They ate, got ready for the day, practiced more and went to the James L Knight Center. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets.



At the James L Knight Center, they practiced more and then it was time for the Show. 50,000 Cake Cream Fans showed up! Cake Cream and Axl were beyond happy that the Cake Cream Fans gave them another chance! They performed behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers and the Show was beyond great and the Audience cheered wildly instead of booing and jeering. Cake Cream and Axl were back on top! At the final sendoff, the Audience cheered even more wildly. Cake Cream and Axl were all happy. The Show was soon over.



Axl congratulated James, Jimmy, Billy, Mike and Andy on a phenomenal Show and they welcomed him. They went to Denny's and had a nice brunch, having a good time and then paid and left..

[MisterV]

Fake Dream soon cornered the fentanyl market in their area and eyed expanding nationwide.

The pills they manufactured and sold were considered by druggies to be much better than what the Mexican cartels were selling; the pills coincidentally became known as "fake dream."

The members of Fake Dream were ecstatic when they learned this fact; so ecstatic that they celebrated by lighting their farts with a Bic lighter in order to win bragging rights as to whose discharge was the most dragon-like.

"There can be only one!!!" roared Axl, following his winning effort which had set the couch on fire.

Some months later Axl asked an important question: "OK gentlemen, we now have more money than god can count; shall we continue selling drugs or devote our best efforts to helping the poor and the homeless?"

"Fuck the poor!" and "Drugs, drugs, sell more drugs!" was the response.

But their success did not go unnoticed; South of the Border plans were made and put into play to deal with the interlopers.

Jimmy returned from selling pills to the local high school band with a curious observation; he told Axl that "Some bearner came up to me today, he must have worked as a haberdasher: he asked me if I wanted a Columbian neck tie."

Alarmed, Axl asked "What did you say?"

"I told him no thank you, shook his hand, and he thanked me, and told me 'Don't lose your head.'"

Axl quickly explained their immediate peril: "That was the cartels, telling us in so many words to stop dealing drugs or we are all dead men. What do you guys want to do?"

The members of Fake Dream huddled, scratched themselves, and asked "Do we have enough money to buy DQ strawberry blizzards for the rest of our lives?"

Axl assured them that they did.

Fake Dream decided to quit being drug dealers.

"Can we be arms dealers instead?" Andy asked.

"I think we should be florists" Billy piped in.

"Guns and roses it is" said Axl; "OK, lets go to DQ!"

[Tasha]

They went back to the hotel. They decided they wanted to go to the park. They went to the park and chilled, just enjoying each other's company. The sun was hot and all of a sudden, it begun to rain! Axl, Billy, James, Jimmy Mike,and Andy were grateful they wore motorcycle helmets, but decided to run to the covered patio anyways. Under the covered patio, Axl and Billy went to a corner, took off their motorcycle helmets and kissed. James, Jimmy, Mike and Andy blushed knowingly. Axl and Billy kissed for a little while and the rain ended soon. Everyone went back outside and chilled on the park bench. There were no Fans around to ask them for Autographs and Selfies and they were able to just kick back in peace.

Billy asked Axl if he wanted to attend Billy's high school reunion next week. Axl was honored, although he wondered about the fact of how possibly awkward him showing up to Billy's high school reunion might be considering the fact that Axl was technically about 35 years older than Billy's ex schoolmates.

Billy said,"I'd love to have my Boyfriend accompany me to the high school reunion. And besides, biologically, you are around my ex classmates ages, not 35 years older .

Jimmy, Andy, Mike, and James all pointed out that they were going to go to Billy's high school reunion too and all 6 of them could have a good time. Axl caved and responded,"Okay, I'm coming to Billy's high school reunion!" All five Members of Cake Cream were excited.

They finished chilling at the park and went to the hotel and watched TV.

Axl decided to book Cake Cream for the Dolphins Home Halftime Show in two days. He told them his plan and they were all onboard. Axl and Cake Cream went to the Dolphins Stadium and booked the show. They went home and practiced for the upcoming Show.

[MisterV]

Three years after disbanding and seeking new endeavors as arms dealers and florists, Fake Dream decided to attend Billy's high school reunion; none of them had finished junior high and they were looking forward to seeing what they had missed.

At Billy's urging they snuck into the reunion venue the night before to build a centerpiece that would wow Billy's former classmates.

The big night arrived.

The attendees all marveled at the clever centerpiece: a tepee of AR-15's with stemmed roses in the barrels and a DQ strawberry blizzard in the center of the tepee.

Much hand shaking occurred at the reunion as did fist fights and bouts of competitive flatulence; Axl arrange for the boys to compete against the girls and the girls won: "Unfair" said Axl, "You can't count Queefs."

Queefs were in fact counted.

The alcohol flowed freely and the pungent aroma of cannabis wafted through the high school gym; wanting to make sure everyone had a good time, Billy dispensed fentanyl pills from his personal stash to his cronies and their friends.

Soon people were falling down, passing out, and pissing on the bleachers.

One gal in a fit of drug-induced rage against the world picked up an AR-15, aimed it, and sprayed lead across the gym, mowing down her former detractors as well as 20 or more innocents.

When one gun was empty she grabbed another.

James and Andy both went down with head shots; Axl finally subdued the manic minx by hurling the contents of the blizzard in her face, temporarily blinding her; thus incapacitated the surviving attendees physically attacked and tore her limb from limb.

The remaining members of Fake Dream fled before the cops arrived, knowing that the finger would soon point at them.

Axl asked why the guns hadn't been unloaded and the only response was a long, raspy, burly fart.

"Oh, the humanity" Axl thought, but since to him life was just a game he picked his nose and thought nothing more about it, secure in the knowledge that as their attorney his keen legal mind would get them off.

[Tasha]

The next day, it was the day of the Miami Dolphins Stadium Halftime Show. Cake Cream and Axl got up, ate, and got ready for the day. They left the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and did some sightseeing, ate at a restaurant, paid and left and then went to the Miami Dolphins Stadium and practiced. They were wearing bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and the Game started.

The Dolphins were trying hard to win , but they were down about 5 points. Dolphin Fans were disappointed, but still cheered for the Dolphins. The Halftime Show happened, and Cake Cream went on stage, and performed behind bulletproof plexiglass barriers. They were really good, and Cake Cream Fans cheered wildly for them.

This was a good show and Cake Cream were back on top, a complete 180 from the awful show they did recently. Fans seemed to have forgiven the awful recent Cake Cream show and Cake Cream and Axl were all happy.

This was a phenomenal Show. The Final sendoff happened to wild cheering and the Cake Cream Show was soon over. The Dolphins came back after Halftime and played extremely well, winning by 20 points, after being down by 5 points. The Audience wondered if the extremely good show from Cake Cream and Axl gave the Dolphins a confidence booster and helped them win by 20 points.

After the Dolphins Stadium Show, Cake Cream and Axl went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite.

They were all in a happy mood. They watched TV, chilled, showered, and got ready for bed and went to sleep.

The next day, they saw the Cake Cream Dolphin Stadium Halftime Show already went viral and Fans were like,"Cake Cream are back on top! I loved the Halftime Show last night! They more than made up for the awful Cake Cream Show the other day! I love Cake Cream!"

Axl and Cake Cream were happy.

[MisterV]

Axl awoke from his Cake Cream / Miami Dolphin dream: "Whoa, that was weird" he thought, but then he focused on the pounding on the front door.

He took off his diaper, removed the gerbil, put on a French maid outfit and answered: it was John Law.

A truncheon smashed his nose and as he collapsed in a heap boots repeatedly kicked him in the head.

"My wife was at that reunion" said the cop, "and now she's dead."

Axl was cuffed and he and the remaining members of Fake Dream were thrown in jail.

The following morning they all appeared before the Honorable Judge V.

"Well now, what have we here?" asked the jaded jurist; "looks like somebody gave you a much-deserved beating."

"I move to dismiss all charges on the basis that I am a doppelganger" said Axl.

"Oh, a transexual are you? We have ways of dealing with people like you. Bailiff, whack his pee pee."

The bailiff whacked his pee pee.

"No, not a transexual, I am a doppelganger; I am two different people at the same time."

"Pleading insanity, are you? Sounds like some sort of schizophrenic multiple personality thing."

"No, not crazy, I'm a time-traveling doppelganger and as such I am above the law."

"You're not Trump, only he's above the law. Bailiff, whack his pee pee again, only harder this time."

Axl quickly realized that practicing law wasn't quite the walk in the park he'd thought it would be.

[Tasha]

Mr. V, Billy's high school reunion hasn't happened yet, why would a Cop tell Axl his wife is dead at the reunion that hasn't happened yet? Also, the Miami Dolphins Stadium Halftime Show wasn't a dream, it happened for real in the story. Also, what idiot would get the words Transsexual and Doppleganger mixed up? :/

[MisterV]

Mr. V, Billy's high school reunion hasn't happened yet, why would a Cop tell Axl his wife is dead at the reunion that hasn't happened yet?

WTF are you talking about?

Didn't you read the above thread?

Not only did it happen, but there was a mass shooting.

Boy, are you inattentive.

Also, the Miami Dolphins Stadium Halftime Show wasn't a dream, it happened for real in the story.

He dreamed it, Tasha; Cake Cream is kaput, all that's left is Fake Dream.

C'mon girl, keep up or get out of the way.

Also, what idiot would get the words Transsexual and Doppleganger mixed up?

If you call that jaded jurist Judge V an "idiot" you'll do time for contempt; show some respect to the court.

[Tasha]

WTF are you talking about?

Didn't you read the above thread?

Not only did it happen, but there was a mass shooting.

Boy, are you inattentive.




He dreamed it, Tasha; Cake Cream is kaput, all that's left is Fake Dream.

C'mon girl, keep up or get out of the way.

Also, what idiot would get the words Transsexual and Doppleganger mixed up?

If you call that jaded jurist Judge V an "idiot" you'll do time for contempt; show some respect to the court.

What are you talking about? The latest chapter is Cake Cream doing a phenomenal Dolphin Stadium Halftime Show and possibly giving the Dolphins the confidence booster to win and Dolphins won by 20 points after being down by 5 points. It had nothing to do with Billy's high school reunion which hasn't happened yet.

[MisterV]

I'm talking about what happens in MY make believe world, not yours.

Mine is a better, much more interesting literary world than yours, so just go along to get along.

You've heard of hijacking a thread?

I am hijacking your narrative.

[MisterV]

Tasha, I'm not REALLY hijacking your thread, I just read what you write and respond in a hopefully absurdist, comical way.

FWIW I intend no malice against you or the subjects of your tale.

Keep posting new snippets, my creative juices are flowing.

[Tasha]

Older Axl called Axl and when Axl picked up, Older Axl asked,"Axl, how would you feel about doing a radio interview in my spot? I really don't want to do the radio interview, I want to relax and chill. I'd love if you can help me out."

Axl was like,"When's the radio interview?

Older Axl sheepishly said,"Tonight."

Axl replied,"Why did you wait until NOW to ask me?"

"I suddenly just don't want to do it. Please help me out." Older Axl begged Axl.

Axl sighed. He knew Older Axl would have done the same thing for him and he caved.

Axl responded,"Okay Axl, I'll do it.

Older Axl responded gratefully,"Thanks, Axl!"

Axl asked,"What time is the Radio Interview tonight and what's the Station?"

Older Axl responded,"6 PM tonight. Y100.

Axl was like,"Okay."

Older Axl and Axl made plans for the radio station interview. They chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.

Axl told Jimmy, James, Billy, Andy and Mike to go to the movies from 6-8.

They all immediately questioned why he wanted them to go to the movies.

Axl was like,"I just want to chill by myself from 6-8!"

James, Billy, Mike Andy and Jimmy were like,"Something seems fishy about this."

Axl was like,"There's nothing fishy about me wanting you guys to go to the movies."

Cake Cream were all like,"We'll go to the movies from 6-8 only if you go with us!"

Axl had a look of panic." "I really don't want to go to the movies with you guys! I want you five to go to the movies by yourselves!"

Cake Cream all refused to go to the movies without Axl.

Axl said,"Okay, new plan. I want you all to be asleep from 6-8."

Cake Cream was like,"What the hell is going on Axl? Are you getting ready to become a Drug Dealer or something from 6-8?"

Axl laughed nervously.

Cake Cream were all like,"Oh my God, you're getting ready to be a Drug Dealer from 6-8!"

Axl shook his head and said,"No."

Cake Cream asked Axl what was going on. Axl looked at the ground shyly.

Cake Cream were like,"We agreed to be more open with each other!" Cake Cream and Axl knew once,"We agreed to be more open with each other," was a prompt to open up and tell the truth."

Axl said,"I'm going to do a radio Interview from 6-8."

Cake Cream wondered why Axl was trying to hide THAT.

Axl blushed. He didn't know how to tell them he would be taking Older Axl's place for the interview tonight.

[MisterV]

Axl paused, then said "Shit, I was lying. You were right, I was going to be a drug dealer from six until eight tonight."

He expected that the bible-thumbing, devout, deeply religious band members would berate and shun him for selling drugs.

The lord works in mysterious ways apparently as James asked "Can we join you? We're tired of acting like The Osmonds, we want to experience what life is really like."

"OK, c'mon, I'll get you guys started."

They went into Axl's room.

"Alright, this is fentanyl, this is heroin, this is cocaine, and this is LSD. Tonight we're going to sell at the Kaseya Center during the Miami Heat game."

They thanked Axl, shook his hand, and were welcomed.

Nervous as bugs on a rug, the boys wrang their hands, sweated and prayed: the anticipation was palpable.

They plied their wares for almost an hour in the Kaseya Center but then a tsunami hit and they all died.

The End

[Tasha]

Axl paused, then said "Shit, I was lying. You were right, I was going to be a drug dealer from six until eight tonight."

He expected that the bible-thumbing, devout, deeply religious band members would berate and shun him for selling drugs.

The lord works in mysterious ways apparently as James asked "Can we join you? We're tired of acting like The Osmonds, we want to experience what life is really like."

"OK, c'mon, I'll get you guys started."

They went into Axl's room.

"Alright, this is fentanyl, this is heroin, this is cocaine, and this is LSD. Tonight we're going to sell at the Kaseya Center during the Miami Heat game."

They thanked Axl, shook his hand, and were welcomed.

Nervous as bugs on a rug, the boys wrang their hands, sweated and prayed: the anticipation was palpable.

They plied their wares for almost an hour in the Kaseya Center but then a tsunami hit and they all died.

The End

Except for the very end about the Tsunami killing them all, theoretically, Cake Cream would probably go sell drugs with Axl if he really was a drug dealer, that's how much Cake Cream is codependent on Axl. Cake Cream has a codependency on each other and Axl, hence the "We'll go with you wherever you're going!" Thing. I remember in the first Fictional Axl Rose story, Axl was like," I'm going to the supermarket!" Cake Cream were all like,"We'll all go to the Supermarket with you!" Axl was like,"I'm going to the park!" Cake Cream were all like,"We'll all go to the park with you!" Axl was like,"Would you guys please leave me alone? I clearly don't want you guys coming with me wherever I'm going!"

The truth is, Axl was going to go to Claven Records to see why he was in trouble with Timothy, but he didn't want Cake Cream to be there with him to prevent them being in trouble with him. Axl went to Claven Records alone, but Cake Cream traced his cellphone's location and found it at Claven Records and showed up.

Axl was shocked although they off script had told him before that they could trace his location using his cellphone, but he just forgot. In all honesty, it would have been much more realistic if they hadn't told him beforehand at all they could trace his location using his cellphone since someone from 1987 would have had no idea about cellphone location tracing.

But when Axl went to jail, only Billy visited him in jail despite Cake Cream usually all traveling together. Realistically, you'd think that Cake Cream would all come to support Axl with something as important as being in jail, but only Billy visited him in jail. I set it up that Billy was the only one that visited Axl in jail to show how close Axl and Billy really are, something I absolutely could not show had EVERYBODY in Cake Cream visited Axl in jail. In the sequel, when Axl and Billy's relationship is blossoming and happens, Axl points out the fact that only Billy visited him in jail, proving Billy cared the most about him out of Cake Cream.

So, yeah, Cake Cream (Usually)has a codependency on each other and Axl.