The guy's a complete fraud and knows it. He clings on to the hope that maybe someone believes otherwise, but no one does. Expecting him to understand what happens outside of the books and forums he has lifted his imaginary life from, is far too much to expect.
Part of the proof that he's a fraud is all the lies and contradictions he has been caught up in. But another big piece of proof is simply how hard he tries to claim that he's not a fraud. Why would he even care so much unless this FraudJ imaginary life is all he has.
Keep in mind what we're dealing with here...someone uneducated, already an outsider because of his (sometimes) claim (which who knows if even that is true?) of being gay, booted out of his own household by his own family at a young age, of course he wants to be something he's not, he's been a downtrodden outsider all his life.
And obviously he does care very much to prove that his fable is true, but can't provide any proof to back up anything he claims. Because the proof doesn't exist.