Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[Tasha]

Karen, your big mistake in this saga was the creation of Cake Cream.

Axl should be playing in GnR, not a group of OCD pansies, queers and clueless dolts.

I've attempted to ameliorate the horror via introducing the reader to DQ strawberry blizzards but alas, I fear the damage has been done.

Your story is about as bad as it gets...truly dreadfull.

But hey, keep it up: we enjoy lampooning you and your excretory bit of creative writing.

Cake Cream was ORIGINALLY supposed to be a ONE LINE THING LMAO! I originally planned to have Axl say something like,"Cake Cream is a good opening act for Guns N'Roses ," and then NEVER mention Cake Cream again! I decided to make Cake Cream costars in both stories to give Axl a Band to Mentor and manage in 2022. Originally, Axl was pretending to be someone named Michael Randall Johnson. So him suddenly being in Guns N'Roses would seem weird.

Axl decided to Mentor the up and coming Cake Cream who he believed at the time were the new Guns N'Roses. Soon, Jimmy inadvertently revealed "Michael Randall Johnson," to be Axl when he lifted up Axl's sleeve while he slept at a Cake Cream part and exposed Axl's Appetite For Destruction Album Cross Tattoo (I had THREE ways I would have Axl get exposed at the Cake Cream party.

First way. Have Cake Cream drug his drink and make him fall asleep and then lift up his sleeve and expose the Tattoo while he slept. CREEPY. Second way. Have Axl be fully awake and have Cake Cream FIGHT the sleeve up against his will. CREEPY. Third way. Have Axl fall asleep on his own and have Jimmy lift up his sleeve and expose his Tattoo. The best way to do it.


Guns N'Roses is already well established in the world, I felt that Axl should bring up Cake Cream as a Famous Band too. Cake Cream is purely AXL'S Band and he doesn't have to share the credit with anyone else. , In a nutshell, Cake Cream is Axl Rose's Band, not a Guns N'Roses Protege. Axl himself pointed out that he gets the sole credit for Cake Cream and doesn't have to share it with Guns N'Roses.

[MisterV]

But Axl is only the secondary singer!

How then is it that a back up singer gets to call it "his" band?

You don't see that kind of shit in the real world.

Time to face the truth: this tale spun out of control long ago and can never be reined in.

Keep it up.

[Tasha]

But Axl is only the secondary singer!

How then is it that a back up singer gets to call it "his" band?

You don't see that kind of shit in the real world.

Time to face the truth: this tale spun out of control long ago and can never be reined in.

Keep it up.

Cake Cream is Axl's Band because he is Cake Cream's Manager and Mentor. He just happens to be the Secondary Singer.

[MisterV]

In your world "manager and mentor=owner of the band?"

Strange world.

BTW...the real Axl has been known to be a bully and an asshole.

It seems you're attracted to guys like that, present company included.

Hell, he sued over the now infamous "Fat Axl" memes: wonder what he'll do to YOU for having your Axl suck cocks, take it up the ass and sing with a lispy falsetto?

Better lawyer up...

[Tasha]

In your world "manager and mentor=owner of the band?"

Strange world.

BTW...the real Axl has been known to be a bully and an asshole.

It seems you're attracted to guys like that, present company included.

Hell, he sued over the now infamous "Fat Axl" memes: wonder what he'll do to YOU for having your Axl suck cocks, take it up the ass and sing with a lispy falsetto?

Better lawyer up...

Cake Cream is Axl's Band. He OWNS Cake Cream. He bought Cake Cream Band for 500 Million. He bought the Cake Cream name, rights, royalties, copyright, songs. He's the CEO of Cake Cream.

[MisterV]

Who did he buy it from, the tooth fairy?

[Tasha]

Who did he buy it from, the tooth fairy?

He bought Cake Cream from Cake Cream. Cake Cream sold him the rights, royalties, songs, name, and copyright for 100 Million each.

[pinchingyourballs]

Axl also bought the name and rights to Abby Garn's Laboratory of Horrors for a cool $300 million. After he secretly put an audio and video recording device on Mike during his little trips, Axl discovered the fruit people and decided he could make a lot more money off the fruit people than what Abby was doing, running a brothel of sorts.

[MisterV]

Who did he buy it from, the tooth fairy?

He bought Cake Cream from Cake Cream. Cake Cream sold him the rights, royalties, songs, name, and copyright for 100 Million each.

Stupid move: five hundred million bucks would have bought him quite a few DQ strawberry blizzards.

[pinchingyourballs]

Stupid move: five hundred million bucks would have bought him quite a few DQ strawberry blizzards.

After purchasing the rights to Abby Garn's Lab of Horrors, Axl demoted Abby from Madame to lab tech. There would be no more brothel activities. Now, the focus was on creating the ultimate fruit-hobo hybrid that was capable of shitting out DQ strawberry blizzard goo. Abby's trio of pet citrus people were put to to work as her assistants. No more sitting on their asses playing checkers or chess or whatever.

Abby was due to give Axl an update on her progress creating hybrids of strawberries and hobos harvested from Alaska who were capable of surviving freezing temperatures. Her first speciman was a giant strawberry with four human arms and two human legs and 1024 eyeballs all over its shiny red body. Axl peered deeply into one of its eyes. The his delight, the irises were pineapple rings!

"Beautiful work Abby, now what happens if we feed this fucker a quart of heavy cream and cup of sugar? The answer better be shitting out a DQ strawberry blizzard into the empty cup I'm holding," Axl barked.

"The answer is actually nothing, Axl, because he doesn't have a mouth." Abby replied matter of factly.

"God dammit woman, if you don't get the next one right I'm gonna make myself a tangerine-lemon-lime smoothie!"

Abby frowned and turned back to her lab. Threatening her citrus dudes was the last straw. She would give him a blizzard alright. A cyanide blizzard. Abby set down to work on her best creation yet...

[Tasha]

Who did he buy it from, the tooth fairy?

He bought Cake Cream from Cake Cream. Cake Cream sold him the rights, royalties, songs, name, and copyright for 100 Million each.

Stupid move: five hundred million bucks would have bought him quite a few DQ strawberry blizzards.

I do not get why your Fictional Axl Rose and Cake Cream constantly eat DQ strawberry blizzards.

[MisterV]

The regular consumption of DQ strawberry blizzards has been clinically proven to inhibit the growth of brain worms: you know, like RFK had / has.

This scrumptious concoction is like a Cake Cream insurance poicy: Axl originally came from a place and time where brain worms ran amuck: that's why he fled to a different worm-free time and place.

He's trying to Save the World, actually...from brain worms.

But hey, I'm sure you know that: it's YOUR fiction story, you wrote it.

[Tasha]

Mike and Axl chatted for a while. Axl decided to call Billy, James, Andy, and Jimmy to the Law Firm to get them to sign. Mike was onboard with this.

Axl called all of them and told them all four of them needed to go to the law firm. They all agreed to come.

The Lawyer, Mike, and Axl all chatted about the possible splitting up Cake Cream.

About 30 minutes later, Andy, James, Jimmy, and Billy were all in the law firm. Axl told them the dilemma that Mike and Andy wanted to become a Singer and Keyboard duet and wanted Axl, James, Jimmy, and Billy to become a Singer, two guitarist, a drummer.

Andy and Mike backed up Axl.

James said,"WHY would you want to split the Band up this way?

Axl, Mike and Andy all looked at each other awkwardly.

Billy, James, and Jimmy immediately noticed the awkward look and questioned it.

James straight up asked Mike and Andy if they were dating.

Billy and Jimmy wanted to know too. Andy, Mike, and Axl all said that Andy and Mike weren't dating.

James said,"Okay. Hmm. Splitting it up 2/6 might be a bad idea, why don't we make it an EVEN split? Why don't I join Andy and Mike as Lead Guitarist and Jimmy, Axl, and Billy can be Singer, Rhythm Guitarist, and Drummer?"

Axl, Jimmy, Billy, Andy, and Mike all decided this wasn't a bad idea. Only ANDY and AXL should be kept away from each other, not anyone else, so an equal split might just be a good idea.

All of them drew up a Contract with Axl's Lawyer stating that they would do an equal Cake Cream split. All six read, understood, agreed, and signed. They thanked Axl's Lawyer and he welcomed them. After a little while, they all left. Axl suggested that James, Jimmy, Billy and himself go to Denny's and Mike and Andy go to Red Lobster.

Billy, James, and Jimmy immediately wondered why Axl would suggest that , but Mike and Andy knew exactly.

Mike and Andy immediately said simultaneously,"That's a good idea!" And said their goodbyes to Billy, Axl, James, and Jimmy and made a beeline to Red Lobster.

Billy, James, Jimmy, and Axl went to Denny's.

At Denny's, Billy ordered the Grand Slam, Axl ordered the Tbone meal, Jimmy ordered the Moons Over My Hammy, and James ordered the Meat Lovers Skillet. They all ordered orange juice and water.

As they waited for their food, Billy mentioned how weird it was that Andy and Mike were spending so much time alone together.

Axl casually said,"Well, Andy and Mike are good Friends and lots of good Friends hang out together. Let's just enjoy our Denny's meal, just the four of us."

James said,"You know, Billy's right. It does seem kind of weird that Andy and Mike are suddenly so interested in being alone together.

Jimmy said,"I also find this suspicious."

Axl, knowing that Andy had a crush on him, knew he couldn't just tell any of them about Andy's crush on him, especially not Billy, who was Axl's Boyfriend and Andy's Best Friend.

Axl said,"I really don't want to talk about Andy and Mike right now. Let's just enjoy our Denny's meal, just the four of us."

Jimmy asked,"Axl, what's going on between Andy and Mike?"

Axl said,"Nothing's going on between Andy and Mike, just close Friendship."

Billy straight up asked Axl if Andy was Mike's Boyfriend.

Axl had a look of panic, but then quickly changed his face into a more casual expression. Axl said,"Andy thinks of all five of us as Brothers, he doesn't want to date any of us."

Billy, James, and Jimny all noticed the panicked face and pointed it out to Axl.

Axl said," Andy and Mike just want to spend more time alone, make their Friendship even better. Let's please just drop this and eat and drink. Besides, you James, will get to spend more time with Andy and Mike at the split Cake Cream Shows as their Lead Guitarist.

James smiled at this. Axl, Billy, and Jimmy smiled too.

Jimmy, James, Axl, and Billy's food and drinks arrived and they ate in casual, relaxed moods, enjoying it They decided to order Dessert. James and Jimmy ordered the lava cookie skillet, Billy and Axl ordered the Brownie Sundae. They all ordered chocolate milkshakes. They ate their desserts and drank their milkshakes, enjoying it all.

Meanwhile at Red Lobster, Mike ordered the Admiral's Feast and Andy ordered the Steak And Turf. They ordered Coke and water. The water came soon and they ate free cheddar bay biscuits. Melissa was off today.

Mike asked Andy if he was ever going to tell Billy about his crush on Axl.

Andy shook his head and said,"I can't tell my Best Friend that I'm in love with his Boyfriend. That will be beyond awkward."

Mike said,"I see your point, but you probably shouldn't keep this a secret from Billy forever. " Andy shook his head again.

Their food arrived, and they ate and drank and chatted about Andy's crush on Axl. They enjoyed their meals. They decided to order Dessert and Andy ordered the Chocolate Wave and Mike ordered the Brownie Royale. They enjoyed their desserts.

Meanwhile at Denny's they all paid and left. They went to their Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They fell asleep after all their meals.

At Red Lobster, soon Andy and Mike paid and left too.

Andy and Mike went back to their Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They too fell asleep after their meals.

[pinchingyourballs]

Tasha, all this reads like the minutes of a school board meeting. Where's the action????

[MisterV]

Mike let out a loud fart of satisfaction and asked Andy "What is it about Axl that you find so attractive? I mean, the guy is 62 years old, flabby, out of shape, borderline ugly and his voice has gone to shit. What gives?"

Andy smiled coquettishly, belched profoundly, and said "I'll tell ya. Remember the time we went skinny dipping in the infinity pool of our luxurious penthouse suite? I finally espied Axl's johnson and boy howdy did it catch my eye. Nine and a half inches by my eye, and mine is a well-practiced eye."

Mike self-consciously touched his meat: oops...not much there.

"But Andy, it ain't the meat, it's the motion."

"Bullshit Mike, and you know it. Ain't nothing better than choking down a throbbing love missile, or getting your ass reamed by a python."

Mike was nonplussed: he knew he could never "measure up" so he said "Fine. I am outa here.

So, he left in a huff. I mean, in an Uber.

Andy stared out at the fluffy clouds and stroking his turgid member he dreamed of that which he could never have...

[Tasha]

Mike let out a loud fart of satisfaction and asked Andy "What is it about Axl that you find so attractive? I mean, the guy is 62 years old, flabby, out of shape, borderline ugly and his voice has gone to shit. What gives?"

Andy smiled coquettishly, belched profoundly, and said "I'll tell ya. Remember the time we went skinny dipping in the infinity pool of our luxurious penthouse suite? I finally espied Axl's johnson and boy howdy did it catch my eye. Nine and a half inches by my eye, and mine is a well-practiced eye."

Mike self-consciously touched his meat: oops...not much there.

"But Andy, it ain't the meat, it's the motion."

"Bullshit Mike, and you know it. Ain't nothing better than choking down a throbbing love missile, or getting your ass reamed by a python."

Mike was nonplussed: he knew he could never "measure up" so he said "Fine. I am outa here.

So, he left in a huff. I mean, in an Uber.

Andy stared out at the fluffy clouds and stroking his turgid member he dreamed of that which he could never have...

Uh, Andy has a crush on YOUNG Axl, the 25 year old Axl, not the Older Axl who is 60 in 2022.

[MisterV]

Uh, Andy has a crush on YOUNG Axl, the 25 year old Axl, not the Older Axl who is 60 in 2022.

Maybe in YOUR fiction: but not in mine.

"What is Reality?"

[pinchingyourballs]

Tasha Kentry was sweating bullets at her slot machine when she espied on the ground, partially underneath an out of order slot machine, a wallet. She blinked several times to make sure she was seeing a real wallet and not a mirage borne of desperation. She had after all just wagered and lost two weeks' worth of pay. Yes, it was a wallet. Dark blue with a reddish floral pattern, it nearly blended in to the hideous carpeting. She wiped her damp brow with a brown Burger King napkin. She kept several in her hideous handbag just for such occasions. Tasha knew she had to act fast or the opportunity would evaporate, just like her pay.

She got her card out of the slot machine and casually sauntered over to the out of order machine. Deftly, she faked tripping over her shoelaces and then bent down to untie and tie them right next to the wallet. Her hand bag was strategically placed on top of it. As she bent over, her butt cheeks let loose a 3 second long squeaker. Uh oh, too loud, she mused. She prayed to Vishnu it wouldn't draw attention to her little ruse. She thought of squatting instead of bending, but the last time she did that to pick up a lost wallet in Church's Chicken, something unspeakable happened. No, much safer to bend at the waist.

As she finished fiddling with her laces she slyly slipped the wallet into her handbag and got up. The sudden flow of blood away from her head made her feel a bit dizzy and for a moment and she thought she saw casino security walking toward her. Couldn't be, she mused, my little ploy was air tight. Far more air tight than my butt at any rate. Unfortunately for Tasha the vision was as real as the cabbage stench she left behind at the out of order slot machine. She put on her sunglasses, branded with the logo of a different casino, and made her way toward the exits. She was only yards away when she felt the dreaded tap on her shoulder and the bone chilling "Excuse me ma'am!"

She turned around to face a grim security dude with a bored look on her face. Just as he delivered the canned lines he had recited hundreds of times before, something miraculous happened.

Another patron had ripped off his clothes and was screaming. With blood curdling primal shrieks, he jumped from the tops of the slot machines like a bizarro world Tarzan. Judging from the state of his twig and berries and bald head, Tasha guessed his age around 70, though his spry leaping and shrieking was that of a much younger man. All casino personnel, including the man who was confronting Tasha, were now focused on restraining the man. Tasha thanked Vishnu for the second chance and bolted out of there.

She ran and ran until got to the bus bench just as the bus was pulling to a stop. It wasn't her bus, but she didn't care. She got on and once safely ensconced in her seat she took the troublesome wallet out of her handbag and observed it more carefully. It was engraved with the monogram KJ and it was much lighter and thinner than she expected. In the dim light of the casino it looked like textured leather, but now on the bus it was clearly made of some type of coarse fabric, cheap and disappointing. Upon opening it Tasha was further disappointed. There were no credit cards, players club cards, gift cards, or crisp bills. There was only a $1 bill and a mysterious business card bearing the words "Hot Egg Farts" in raised lettering and nothing else.

Despite the trashy wallet it came from, the business card was classy and high-end. Tasha looked at the subtle off-white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even had a watermark. She let the card fall as a swell of rage built up inside her.

[MisterV]

Her ire soon dispersed while her internal gas level sky-rocketed to dangerous levels.

Try as she might she couldn't hold in the pressure: it erupted in a loud, thunder-like boom of flatulence and misty fecal spray which blew out the back of her pants and permeated the back of the bus to a redolent degree.

"What the fuck, lady" said a homeless guy across the aisle as he peered through the odiferous fog: "Get a fucking life woman."

Tasha Kentry blushed crimson and told the worthless motherfucker "I am so sorry, please forgive me: I thought I'd found my way out of the ghetto but I was wrong. I am doomed"

He accepted her apology; they shook hands but then she cried tears of woe.

"There there" said the bum as he changed seats to sit next to her, "Let me help you."

With that he stuck his greasy paw down the front of her XXL sweat pants and after finding her clit he massaged it just ... perfectly.

"What are you ...ohhhh...ooohhhhh..."

Two minutes later Tasha Kentry experienced the first orgasm she'd ever had in her 40-somethng years of existence.

"Who are you?"

"I go by many names, but "Hector" is my favorite. What's your name?"

She didn't hear him: a post-orgasmic cloud of joy infused her being.

"Hector, you wanna come home with me? You like Church's Chicken? You should meet my Mama, she's so mean these days, maybe you can make her happy and warm the way you did me."

"No thanks, this is my stop:" and with that he was up and gone.

Tasha Kentry cried a flood of new tears but then she had a profound realization: "Hey, why don't I do to myself what he did?"

She stuck her hand down below and after a bit of experimenting she quickly figured out what to do, so she did it over and over, grievously annoying the other passengers with her moans, screams, and loud, nasty sounding and smelling queefs.

[pinchingyourballs]

Unbeknownst to Tasha Kentry, another bus rider had filmed the entire episode from "fart" to finish. When he arrived at his stop, Mike sprinted to the luxurious penthouse suite to show his bandmates the incredible video he had just captured. Axl watched the footage intently, taking notes. Billy and Andy gave each other reciprocal hand jobs while watching it. James and Jimmy declined to watch it, deciding instead to watch an episode of Bluey on their tablets while drinking Capri Sun. When the video finished, Axl declared it the most thought provoking film he had ever seen and encouraged Mike to submit it to the Cannes Film Festival. Mike blushed shyly, not sure if Axl really meant it. Billy and Andy agreed with Axl and agreed with each other's agreement. Mike thanked them all and was welcomed. Axl, Billy, and Andy thanked Mike for the thanks and shook hands. Jimmy and James laughed in their corner, but they were not laughing at Mike. They were laughing at something happening in Bluey.