Gamblin' Gal...KAREN

[MisterV]

Karen was on a bit of a winning streak, but as we all know streaks come to an end.

She'd followed the advice of one of her dear "casino friends" and volunteered at the VA hospital, hoping to snare a man, any man..and it was there that she met her new husband,Tommy, who'd been rendered a deaf, dumb and blind amputee when a mortar round struck while he was taking a shit in Afghanistan.

Due to his disability the only way they could communicate was by touch; they settled on a form of Morse code, but instead of a telegraph key she stroked his johnson at different speeds, dot, dash etc.: while this worked for the two of them it did not go over well at all with most members of the public...not that they cared for they were "in love."

One smoggy day they went to the casino; Tommy played Pinball, his go to game, and Karen played slots in the high limit room, burning through her new husband's savings and VA disability pay, not that she cared.

"I and I's gonna win big" she mused, putting her card and some money into a Double Diamond slot; after a few pulls she espied one of her casino friends playing two slots over.

Karen decided to chat, so leaving some money and her card in the Double Diamond machine she moved one seat over and started to gab.

Judge V. walked in with his nubile entourage of vestal virgins and immediately went to his go to game, Double Diamond: he espied a card in the slot and blithely removed it, inserted his card, then he put in a few Franklins while Karen was obliviously bullshitting with her casino friend, debating which type of Church's chicken is best.

First pull and...KA-CHING...JACKPOT...three double diamonds..

Judge V. gleefully celebrated, feeling up his virgins, while Karen became aware of what had just happened.

"Hey, I and I's been playin' 'dat game, 'dat ja-pot be mine."

"Fuck off, bitch" snarled the coked up jurist, "Go pound sand."

"Oh! Wait til my hu'band hears 'bout 'dis..."

While waiting for the staff to arrive Karen went and dragged Tommy into the high limit room and started to "explain" to him what had happened.

While in the midst of "explaining" she was tackled by security and trespassed for jerking off Tommy in the high limit room..

Judge V. pocketed his massive payday and while walking out he espied a crying Karen: "Better luck next time you stupid woman" he sneered.

[MisterV]

Karen finally found a sap online who was stupid enough to "loan her two hundred dollars for medicine."

She took the city bus to the casino and plopped her butt in the Bingo hall.

Several hours later...broke again.

Karen emailed her donor: " 'Dat medicine be gone up in price, I and I needs another two hun-ded."

Sap that he is, another two hundred appeared in her account.

"Looks mammie, I and I gots me a live one."

They laughed so hard mammie didn't even yell when Karen shit on the floor.

Ah, living "La Dolce Vita" in the Miami ghetto...

[theywontpayontuesday]

I'm pretty sure pin ball wouldn't be too much fun blind, deaf and am amputee locked in. This would be a terrible husband, you would need enough money from them to pay someone to pretend they're you to make it worth it and I don't think such a person could give legal consent.

[Noah163]

First of all Karen made a rookie mistake leaving her card in the machine.You NEVER leave money and card unattended, it always ends bad.The judge thing was just unlucky, but she should've been more careful.on the other hand this whole "I love my husband" excuse is too much.She was just using him to cover her ass in this situation.Not cool.

[pinchingyourballs]

Astute observations Noah. You seem like someone who could do well as a fiction writer.

[MisterV]

Noah knew he'd really fucked the pooch when two burly thugs festooned in black hoods trussed him to a small metal table bolted to the floor, leaving his bare butt jutting into the air.

He espied a black autistic asexual women pushing a fiendish device towards him and he involuntarily squirted out the remains of his lunch.

"We folk has ways o' dealin' wit wannabe-bots lak you...." and with that the spanking machine was wheeled into its working position.

It was similar to a waterwheel suspended in place by an axle; ten feet in diameter and instead of recesses to capture water it was bedecked with about fifty hands.

"I and I is gonna likes 'dis..." and with that she removed a bull whip from her hideous handbag and whipped the horde of horny hamsters on a treadmill which powered the wheel of shame, beginning an eternity of retribution.

Noah was meeting the Doom which befalls all bots who post at VCT...

[pinchingyourballs]

Noah, are you just going to take that?

[MHF]

Noah already answered that. As in ah, no.

[pinchingyourballs]

As Noah was being spanked by a Rube Goldberg machine, he reflected on how he had stumbled across Mr. V.'s pornographic spec script in the first place. It had all started with a chance encounter at the North Pole. His expedition group had gotten into a tussle with another expedition group, leading both sides to take captives. One of the captives taken by his group, one Mohammed Habib Farooq, had gone mad and ranted and raved to himself. He talked loudly in his sleep, always shouting the initials "V. C. T." along with odd math factoids and obscure statistics about penis length. After years of searching, Noah had stumbled upon a neglected, troll infested forum with such initials.

[theywontpayontuesday]

First of all Karen made a rookie mistake leaving her card in the machine.You NEVER leave money and card unattended, it always ends bad.The judge thing was just unlucky, but she should've been more careful.on the other hand this whole "I love my husband" excuse is too much.She was just using him to cover her ass in this situation.Not cool.

This really seems too much like Tasha. Have the games begun?

[smurgerburger]

Welcome Noah!

[The Boz]

First of all Karen made a rookie mistake leaving her card in the machine.You NEVER leave money and card unattended, it always ends bad.The judge thing was just unlucky, but she should've been more careful.on the other hand this whole "I love my husband" excuse is too much.She was just using him to cover her ass in this situation.Not cool.

This really seems too much like Tasha. Have the games begun?

Thought the exact same thing. Has her writing style and words to a T.

[MisterV]

Karen finished signing up a new account on VCT as "Noah," created an inane post and exited, smiling and happy as a slave eating watermelon on a hot summer day.

"Mammie, dose mo-fo's at dat VCT, dey soons gonna regrets runnin; me off'n dere boad."

"Damns you chile, hands me dat mop...and quit shittin' de flo'!"

"Dem white devils dey never catches me now, I and I is too smarts fer dem."

"if'n yous so smarts, how comes you alway so broke?"

"Now mammie, you knows why...dem white devils be on to my beggin;, I and I needs to figger sometin' new."

"How's about you gets a better job?"

"No mammie, I and I likes de Walgreens just fine, dat's how I gets all our stuff fo' free: dem white devis never miss it."

Karen looked out the window and espied two alligators approaching her door.

"Looks like I and I has com'-ny."

[pinchingyourballs]

Nathan, Kentry, Dean, Donathan, Chone Wilson, and now Noah. What inspires these particular male names? Various step fathers?

[MisterV]

"Now Habiba, let me handle this when Karen comes to the door."

A reticent black asexual autistic woman opened the door just a crack and said "Can I and I helps you?"

Alison threw her voice toward the kitchen, and sounding like mammie said "Girl, get yo ass in here right dis insant, I slipped in yo pile o' shit again."

"Quiet mammie, I and I's talkin' to dese here 'gators."

Having failed at distraction, Alison spoke plainly; "Karen, the witch Axl sent us here to escort you to his heavenly realm as he has decided you will be his consort. In his realm we gators talk just like humans and we have uncanny predictive powers in the Bingo parlors."

"Con-sort? Wha be 'dat? Sometin' likes a jail bird?"

"No, you'll be like a wife except without a ring; he especially wants to defoliate you, to take your virginity and make you a real woman."

"I and I don't knows...was innit fo' me?"

"Axl has a 9 1/2 inch schlong and his fongue touches his chin, and that's just for starters. He owns a Church's Chicken franchise and..."

"Say no more! Mammie, I and I is goin' wit' dese here gators; I and I don' care 'bout no sex shit but dat Church's Chicken...mmmmm, mmmm good!"

Karen stepped out onto the vestibule of her tenement; Habiba tapped her claws together three times while saying "Eenie, meany, fartabeany" and then *Poof* they were transported to the lair of the witch Axl.

[theywontpayontuesday]

Karen had always struggled to find a stable job, but her luck changed when she landed a position at a company that sold high-quality, customizable sex dolls. She quickly became one of the top salespeople, thanks to her genuine approach and excellent customer service. She often wore other name tags of former employees because she would forget them at home.

One of her regular customers, Mr. V, was particularly fond of the products and made frequent purchases. With her newfound success, Karen was able to pay off her debts and start saving for her future. She also made a promise to herself to only gamble when she was certain of a win, which helped her avoid unnecessary losses.

Karen’s life took a positive turn as she focused on her career and personal growth. She even started a side business, using her sales skills to help others succeed only shitting on the floor of her own mansion. Her story became an inspiration to many, showing that with determination and the right opportunities, anyone can turn their life around, get the money without having sex thanks to an endless supply of perverts who buy many sex dolls.

[MHF]

"Now Habiba, let me handle this when Karen comes to the door."

A reticent black asexual autistic woman opened the door just a crack and said "Can I and I helps you?"

Alison threw her voice toward the kitchen, and sounding like mammie said "Girl, get yo ass in here right dis insant, I slipped in yo pile o' shit again."

"Quiet mammie, I and I's talkin' to dese here 'gators."

Having failed at distraction, Alison spoke plainly; "Karen, the witch Axl sent us here to escort you to his heavenly realm as he has decided you will be his consort. In his realm we gators talk just like humans and we have uncanny predictive powers in the Bingo parlors."

"Con-sort? Wha be 'dat? Sometin' likes a jail bird?"

"No, you'll be like a wife except without a ring; he especially wants to defoliate you, to take your virginity and make you a real woman."

"I and I don't knows...was innit fo' me?"

"Axl has a 9 1/2 inch schlong and his fongue touches his chin, and that's just for starters. He owns a Church's Chicken franchise and..."

"Say no more! Mammie, I and I is goin' wit' dese here gators; I and I don' care 'bout no sex shit but dat Church's Chicken...mmmmm, mmmm good!"

Karen stepped out onto the vestibule of her tenement; Habiba tapped her claws together three times while saying "Eenie, meany, fartabeany" and then *Poof* they were transported to the lair of the witch Axl.

If V had written that, as a kid, they may have called in a shrink, but, now, after 40 years of legal slavery, like an obedient cog in a machine, no one will give a shit. "Let the old boy cannibalize himself."


What is the meaning of Cogg?
verb (used with object)

cogged, cog·ging. to manipulate or load (dice) unfairly.

[MisterV]

It's parody.

As for the racist overtones...again, it's parody, plus dar, exploitive, politically incorrect humor, plucking at the dark soul of America.

Cuts close to the bone I must admit.

[MisterV]

Alison led the way through the wispy clouds and stalactites which festooned the witch's domain; as they reached the witch's castle she yelled "O great and powerful wizard, I mean, witch: we have done thy bidding and brought the wench to you."

Shortly thereafter the witch Axl popped his head out the window, his face sweaty and with brown fecal matter surrounding his mouth.

"Why are you bothering me? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"My apologies, Lord, but we have the woman you told us to fetch so that you'd have her as consort."

The witch Axl farted merrily, smiled, frowned, then yelled out "You idiot! I didn't say "consort?" I'm fucking GAY you stupid saurian! I said I want you to bring her here so I can CORNHOLE her!"

"Oops...my mistake. What shall I do with the wench, Lord?"

At this Karen piped up, saying "Where be 'dis Church's Chicken y'all reptiles promised me? I and I is hongry!"

Miffed at the interruption, the Great and Powerful witch Axl sealed her doom: "Go fatten her up boys, then 'You know what to do. bon appetite.'"

"Thank you, Lord."

"And where's I and I gonna plays Bingo?"

"First things first" said Alison: "We gotta fatten you up."

With that they led Karen to The Promised Land, a Church's Chicken shack with a clean flo' and a full selection of chicken and fixin's, all hot and ready to eat.

Karen dug in, laughing silently at the wonderfully good luck which had befallen her: little did she know of the plans afoot...

[pinchingyourballs]

As Alison and Habiba oversaw the fattening of Karen, they recoiled in horror at how frequently and how massively she was able to take dumps on the floor.

"Alison, I have a bad feeling this one is more shit than edible meat. Why else would Axl let us have her for free?" Habiba said.

Alison agreed and similarly lost her appetite to eat hapless Karen. "What the hell should we do with her?"

"Okay this is convoluted, but I have an idea," Habiba started. "There's this pervert who calls himself the Lizard, and autistic virgins are his type..."

As the lesbian ventriloquist alligators plotted a meet cute between Karen and the Lizard, they failed to notice Karen had wondered off. Karen meandered through a labyrinthine system of hallways and rooms until she found herself in a chamber where hundreds of bejeweled skeleton keys were suspended from the vaulted ceiling by fine silk ribbons of all colors. They were suspended about 7 feet above the floor, and if she jumped she could just barely brush them with her hand. She did so and the keys jingled like a wind chime. Why don't I live in a house with beautiful bejeweled keys hanging from the ceiling, Karen mused.

"I see you like the keys," a croaky voice said, "They all do. They all do."

"Who said that?" Karen asked, she spun around looking high and low until she spotted it in the far corner of the room: a very large bullfrog with a yellow ribbon around its neck and a wee gold crown upon its pate. The bullfrog made unwavering, intense eye contact with Karen. Karen cocked an eyebrow, "Did you just talk?"