Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: Area 51 Aliens like to visit Las Vegas

  1. #1
    Many years ago an old friend of mine (a certified lunatic) told me some "insider information" about Area 51 and LV:

    (1) Area 51 houses aliens. (This is uremarkable since many people hold this belief.)

    (2) To keep the aliens happy and entertained, they are sometimes taken on jaunts to Las Vegas while disguised as humans. (This is a more interesting belief requiring quite a bit of imagination.)

    This got me wondering:

    (1) Have you ever encountered a person in Vegas you suspect was an alien?

    (2) Is Kewl an escaped Area 51 alien who hides in the tunnels to avoid recapture by military scientists?

    (3) Is Garnabby an Area 51 alien who was granted internet privileges instead of attending these jaunts?

    (4) Mr. V, can you include Area 51 aliens in the next chapter of your minstrel show porno?

  2. #2
    Diamond MisterV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Stumptown
    Posts
    8,269
    Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs View Post
    (4) Mr. V, can you include Area 51 aliens in the next chapter of your minstrel show porno?
    Of course...your command is my wish.

    __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ________________________________________

    Roberto was born in the Tijuana slums: his mother was one of the whores that got fucked by a donkey.

    Growing up, the horse-faced lad earned his keep by washing the bloody sheets in the "crib," caring for the donkey and helping to water the beer and booze.

    On his 12th birthday he walked across the border to see what it's like in America, the place he'd heard so much about.

    His prior on the job training helped him land a job in a brothel near Area 51 called the Alien Cathouse.

    Name:  o.jpg
Views: 166
Size:  204.6 KB

    As he matured he turned his sexual ambiguity to his financial advantage, "servicing" those men who demanded that only mustached lips be wrapped around around their johnson.

    It was while doing so one evening that he let slip to the "john" he was then "servicing" that he'd come to the USA illegally as a boy: alas, he blabbed it to a USAF officer who in turn reported it, resulting in Roberto being hauled before administrative judge M-D in LV for a deportation hearing.

    What a small world.

    It turned out that Judge M-D. was a regular "client" of Roberto at the Alien Cathouse: not only did the illegal alien beat the immigration rap he also found new employment in Sin City.

    Judge M-D had several "side businesses" in addition to selling jurisprudence (and Peruvian flake) to the highest bidder: he ran a herd of porn slappers, and added Roberto to his payroll.

    It was while slapping porn cards that Roberto became intrigued by casino gambling and hey, as they say..."the rest is history."...and a story for another day.
    Last edited by MisterV; 10-03-2024 at 10:51 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

  3. #3
    Diamond MisterV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Stumptown
    Posts
    8,269
    Xelope recalled how he first arrived at planet earth.

    He and his buddies had been drinking lots of hunsler and smoking lafridol to the point he forgot who, what and where he was as he zipped around the galaxy.

    Alas, a blown prietel-drive necessitated an emergency stop at the nearest solar system and...hello, earth.

    He was soon espied, captured and imprisoned after landing; since then he'd been anally probed repeatedly and unmercifully at Area 51, and he liked it.

    A lot.

    The chief scientist and prober, Jules Kewl, was impressed by Xelope's photographic memory; he tested him and soon discovered the alien could count cards perfectly, then telepathically tell Jules what the true count was...a plan was born.

    Xelope was not human; while bi-pedal he was seven feet tall and had tentacles in lieu of hands.

    "No worries" said Jules, "Just wear this mask I bought, you'll look like the derring-do protagonist from the movie "V for Vendetta, and wear these gloves."

    Name:  thumb_8FE2A5FD-7E7D-44B2-8C79-1A326881A3E2.jpg
Views: 135
Size:  265.1 KB

    They played side by side at a BJ table at South Point; it was soon clear that something was amiss with these two: the pit asked the Eye to espy their play and report back; yes, it was quickly established that they were counting.

    A couple suits and security guards escorted the pair to a back room; in doing so a newly-hired Mexican guard, high on 'shrooms, roughly pushed Xelope down onto a chair, causing an open wound to his gloved tentacle.

    Now the thing is, Xelope was alien and had no blood; in lieu of plasma he had a gas which smelled fine to him but like rotten eggs, decaying corpses and Bad Luck to earthlings.

    As the stink clouded and permeated the air to a redolent degree the card counters quickly fled South Point in the confusion and made a bee-line to Jules' favorite attorney, M-Hound.

    "Hound, this is Xelope, he's an alien."

    "Where from? He looks...I don't know...sort of Icelandic?"

    "It doesn't matter...look, how much money can you get for us?"

    "How much do you want?"

    Decisions, decisions...
    Last edited by MisterV; 10-05-2024 at 01:42 PM.
    What, Me Worry?

  4. #4
    Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs View Post
    (3) Is Garnabby an Area 51 alien who was granted internet privileges instead of attending these jaunts?

  5. #5
    Yes I’ve heard some of these aliens talking to each other.

    They call themselves “Rotarians”

    They look exactly like humans

    They have a secret organization & their symbol looks like a gear.

    I’m guessing they must be from the planet Rotaria.

  6. #6
    Diamond MisterV's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2017
    Location
    Stumptown
    Posts
    8,269
    "How much do you want?"

    Whoa...tough one to answer.

    How much is needed to compensate a being from another planet for personal injury?

    Jules Kewl excused himself for a moment as he and Xelope sought a private nook to talk: they found it in the Islamic prayer room adjacent to the attorney's spartan office.

    "How much money do you need to be made whole, Xelope?"

    The lanky alien pondered then responded "Money is meaningless to me; I require Payment In Kind."

    "What?"

    "You know...'An eye for an eye.' "

    Back in the attorney's office they explained that Xelope was actually from another planet, that he was playing hooky from Area 51, and that in lieu of money he requires that South Point replace his bodily gases.

    M-hound drafted and e-mailed a Demand Letter to the South Point Loss Prevention dept., outlning the claim, demanding that "...South Point replace all of the bodily gases vented by the victim..."

    "Bodily gases?" The casino's risk mgr. scratched his head, then called M-Hound for clarification.

    "Fuck me if I know" admitted the shyster, "But I think you'll need the services of a top-flight laboratory to analyze a sample in order to duplicate it."

    Jules Kewl had quietly returned Xelope to his quarters at Area 51: no one had noticed he'd been gone.

    "Let's see what M-Hound can get for you" said Jules; in response Xelope piped up: "I hope he gets it soon; if my gases are not replaced my body will go super-critical and turn super-nova, destroying this part of the galaxy. Didn't you know that?"

    Oops; at times ignorance is bliss, at others it's just too damned bad.
    Last edited by MisterV; 10-08-2024 at 09:15 AM.
    What, Me Worry?

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. November Real Estate Report for Las Vegas Area
    By Alan Mendelson in forum Money, Shopping, Real Estate, Investing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 12-09-2014, 06:47 PM
  2. October home prices dip in Las Vegas area
    By Alan Mendelson in forum Money, Shopping, Real Estate, Investing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-06-2014, 11:32 AM
  3. May 2014 Home Prices for the Las Vegas Area
    By Alan Mendelson in forum Money, Shopping, Real Estate, Investing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-11-2014, 01:57 AM
  4. March home prices for the Las Vegas Area
    By Alan Mendelson in forum Money, Shopping, Real Estate, Investing
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 04-13-2014, 01:46 AM
  5. Las Vegas area home prices in June 2013
    By Alan Mendelson in forum Money, Shopping, Real Estate, Investing
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-22-2013, 07:10 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •