"Mammie, I and I sho' is tired, sellin' all dat plasma shit to pays off dem gamblin' debts."
Karen stood up and pulled up her sweatpants as her mother entered the kitchen, mop in hand.
"Chile, why did you bother dem white devils for money? Has you no shame?"
Karen munched a leg of Church's chicken then said "It be 'cause I needs dem white devils ta 'spect me as a AP."
While mopping, Mammie replied "Respects you? Dey doesn't even know you, how can dey respect you?"
"I and I almost met one o' dem white devils years ago, remember? At de casino..."
"What do you need dere respect fo'? Dat be foolish, girl...go finds you a man and gets outs my house, I'm too old for this shit."
Karen said "Maybe you's right, mammie. I t'ink I'll try somethin new. Ever heard o' 'go fun me?" You asks folks fo' money and dey gives it."
With that Karen retired to her basement dwelling, fired up her old Dell and began her GoFundMe: "I and I needs to impress dem white devils wit my gamblin' skills so send me money so I can win. Thank you and god bless."
Ten minutes later she got her first reply..."What are you wearing?" he asked, and punctuated his query with a dick pic.
Karen smiled: "Dem white devils, dey be so per-dicable."
She pulled down her filth-encrusted sweats, took a pic of her thatch with her phone and sent it off into the ether.
"Mammie, I gots me a live one."
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