Originally Posted by
redietz
Since Trump banned transgender "women" from playing women's sports today, I figured I better hustle to Wal-Mart to try on women's clothing before it became illegal to do so. I knew it was a major gamble, so I alerted Bob Nersesian.
While I was trying on a pink sequined body suit, Wal-Mart security grabbed me and forced me into a back room, shoving me into a table. They tore my pantyhose and, after I escaped and flagged a cab while still wearing the bodysuit in question, I realized they had also broken my arm. I went straight to the hospital. Turns out my left arm was broken in two places and my right arm was cut badly from sharp dislodged sequins.
While I was awaiting the final X-rays, Nersesian called me back. I told him I had lost a bad gamble and my sequin counting had gotten me in hot water. He called Wal-Mart brass, who he had on speed dial (a lot of people gamble in Wal-Mart), and he began negotiating my settlement, which will not appear in the press because Wal-Mart avoids publicly prosecuting adult men in ripped pantyhose wearing pink bodysuits and with bloody sequins.
But take my word for it.
Sound like anyone?