I see you finally made it to another source of free WiFi. Projecting your unsubstantial existence with that of a failed poker pro is hilarious. Trying to compare an AP to a poker player is even more funny.
Why don't you see if Alan has a spot in his driveway for your camper van? Maybe he lives in range of some free WiFi. Pretty sure Alan quitting is due to wanting a few more rolls on the craps table each month, so he cancelled his internet and is too dumb to figure out how to get it for free. Maybe you could teach him how to pilfer bandwith so he can come back here.