I JUST finished posting the first story on WOV! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Now, onto posting the continuing sequel on WOV! :D
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I JUST finished posting the first story on WOV! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Now, onto posting the continuing sequel on WOV! :D
When you started your "Nathan's Corner" thread at WoV the Wizard immediately posted "Woohoo, I'm the first to visit. Can't wait for your first story."Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Be careful what you ask for Wiz, you just might get it.
LMAO! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterVWhen you started your "Nathan's Corner" thread at WoV the Wizard immediately posted "Woohoo, I'm the first to visit. Can't wait for your first story."Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Be careful what you ask for Wiz, you just might get it.
Hey girl, here's a helpful suggestion.
Instead of doing what you're now doing at WoV with the story, i.e. posting numerous chapters at one time / "a wall of text" you should have done what you did here: post a small bit at a time.
I know, the story is your "child" and you want everyone at WoV to say "Awww, ain't he cute?" but for that to happen they'd need to read it, and I'm damn sure that few will bother to wade through that huge mound of literary vomit.
Juat sayin'.
By that number of editions, the stories should come with those absurd images. Ha.
By jove Garnabby, I think you've got it.
Tasha, have a picture, meme or some form of topical image accompany each chapter.
For example,when Matthew betrays Andy show a picture of Judas; of course the image of a DQ strawberry blizzard would ALWAYS be appropriate no matter what is happening in the story.
Maybe also add the occasional song to accompany the text; e.g. when a character comes out of the closet play Lou Reed's "Walk on the Wild Side."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsVLIiI8Vfo&t=98s
The clock is ticking Tasha: nobody at WoV has commented on your story as I suspect nobody has bothered to read it, or having started they quickly stopped, overcome with chortles and guffaws.
WTF did you post that tripe at WoV for?
I can understand you doing it here at VCT where pretty much anything goes, but the stony-eyed regulars at WoV have little tolerance for that sort of worthless drivel.
What were you thinking when you posted it there?
It just makes you look silly.
Because I wanted to spread my Fictional Axl Rose stories. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Oh it's "spreading" alright...like Chlamydia or Syphilis.
The next Chapter of my Fictional Axl Rose story is going to be a REALLY good Chapter! :D
---> Society for the Spread of Literacy among the Georgians, ie, the idiots.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
https://anagram-solver.net/The%20nex...0?partial=true
It better be, as it seems nobody at WoV is reading or commenting on your magnum opus.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
In hindsight perhaps instead of basing the story on a time traveling Axl Rose and his doppelganger you could have centered it around a Wicked Wizard who via adroit prestidigitation, legerdemain and sleight of hand convinces the clueless and the desperate that he has The Answers they all seek, all the while juggling flaming dice while riding a unicycle down the strip.
Just sayin'.
The next day, Mike and Axl got up and ate and got ready for the day. Billy, Jimmy, James, and Mike were all still asleep.
On Social Media, a 26 year old Woman named Rebecca Martin claimed that Mike sexually assaulted her when she was five.
Axl looked at Mike and said," You and Rebecca Martin are exactly the same age. I don't get why Rebecca is claiming that you sexually assaulted her when she was five.
Mike blushed uncomfortably.
Axl was ALARMED. Did Mike rape a five year old girl when he was only five? Most five year olds didn't even know what sex was at five.
Axl asked Mike,"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Mike answered," 16."
Axl responded,"So, Rebecca is definitely lying when she said that you sexually assaulted her when she was five.
Mike's blush got even redder.
Axl said,"She is LYING, right? You couldn't have sexually assaulted her when you were five since you lost your virginity at 16.
Mike said,"I'm going to the movies." Axl said,"I'm going to the movies with you."
Mike said,"I'm going to the park."
Axl said,"I'm going to the park with you."
Mike said,"I'm going to the zoo."
Axl said,"I'm going to the zoo with you."
Mike said,"I'm going to the gym."
Axl said,"I'm going to the gym with you."
Mike shook his head. I just want to be alone, Axl."
Axl said,"Just tell me the truth. I'm your Lawyer and can defend you. Did you sexually assault Rebecca at five?"
Mike said,"Kind of."
Axl was SHOCKED. "Oh my God!" Axl shouted. The normal Media and Social Media was going to have a field day with this! Oh no!
Axl calmed down and calmly asked Mike,"What happened ?"
Mike took a deep breath and said,"When Rebecca and I were five, I had a big crush on her and kissed her, without asking her for her permission."
Axl breathed a sigh of relief. There was a BIG difference between kissing someone their permission as a five year old and sexually assaulting someone as as a five year old.
Axl said,"Kissing someone as a five year old who is also five isn't technically sexual assault even without their permission. "
Mike said,"I'm still scared that Rebecca could land me in Prison over this.
Axl said,"If anything, the Statute Of Limitations will protect you. The Statute Of Limitations runs out after 20 years, and you kissing Rebecca was 21 years ago, so you're safe."
Mike was hoping that Axl was right. Mike went back to sleep.
Jimmy, James, Billy, and Andy woke up and saw the social media post. Their faces all blanched.
Billy said," Mike didn't sexually assault anyone. He kissed Rebecca when she and he were both five without asking her first, but it wasn't sexual assault."
James, Jimmy, Axl, and Andy all backed up Billy.
Axl said,The normal Media and Social Media are going to tear Mike apart so badly!
James said,"Maybe we should all just hide out in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite indefinitely?"
Axl said,"No, if we do that, it'll look like we have something to hide. And besides, we still have to do Cake Cream Shows."
James said,"You're right, Axl." Everyone else all agreed too.
Axl said,"We should go to the Mall, you know, like everything's normal."
James, Jimmy, Andy, and Billy all backed up Axl. They chilled and Mike woke up again.
James, Jimmy,Andy, Billy, and Axl all told Mike their thoughts and Mike was apprehensive about going out in public.
Axl said,"For all the normal Media and Social Media know, Rebecca is plain lying to get her 15 minutes of fame."
Mike said,"I'm still not sure. Shouldn't we all just hide out in the Luxurious Penthouse Suite indefinitely?" The same thing James said, wow!
James said,"I said the same thing, but Axl pointed out that we would look like we have something to hide if we do that. "
Axl confirmed he said it.
They all chatted and decided it was best they go to to the Mall to show they have nothing to hide. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the Mall.
At the Mall, people screamed at Mike,"RAPIST!"
Mike felt harassed. Axl, Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all supported Mike and said,"Mike didn't rape anyone. Mike also said,"I didn't rape anyone."
TMZ was there and were filming Mike against his will asking him,"How does it feel to be accused of rape by Rebecca Martin?"
Mike said,"Leave me alone."
Do you mean like you should have left Rebecca Martin alone?"
Axl said,"I'm going to have to ask you to stop speaking to my Client," in an authoritative tone." TMZ ignored Axl and kept asking Mike about Rebecca Martin.
Mike said,"Please just stop asking me questions. You guys are harassing me!"
TMZ said,"Rebecca Martin should sue you for the sexual assault you did to her!"
Mike said,"I didn't sexually assault Rebecca!"
Axl, Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Mike. There was a huge crowd gathered and were filming and harassing Mike along with TMZ.
Mike said to Billy, Andy, James, Jimmy, and Axl,"Maybe we should just leave. This is getting really bad!"
James, Jimmy, Billy, Andy, and Axl all agreed. They left the mall and the crowd and TMZ followed them, continuing to harass Mike and film him. James, Jimmy, Mike, Andy, Axl, and Billy all felt harassed. They ordered a LYFT to the zoo that was practically empty and they were able to relax in peace. After the zoo, they went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and saw on the News and Social Media that the disastrous mall outing was already viral.
Oh no, they all said in unison! Poor Mike didn't deserve any of this. Mike's Mother called him and informed him that on Social Media and the news they were calling him a Rapist and she knew he wasn't a Rapist and she loved him.
Mike said,"I love you too Mom. All I did was kiss Rebecca when I was five without asking her permission. I had no idea it would turn into this disaster it became today.
Mike's Mother said,"I remember that day. When I came to pick you up, your Teacher informed me of what happened and told me I should make you apologize to Rebecca for doing that. I did and you apologized to Rebecca and never did anything like that again. That was that until today."
Mike said,"I thought that would stay in the past for good but today I'm being raked over the coals for it. "
"Just stay strong, sweetie," Mike's Mother told him. Mike thanked her and she welcomed him and they chatted for a little while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.
Mike felt a little better after talking with his Mother.
Andy, James, Mike, Billy, Axl, and Jimmy soon all went to sleep.
--->Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Mademoiselle Josette, My Woman (play).
I am lonely will anyone speak to me.
Jane Blonde-Sensational Spylet.
https://anagram-solver.net/Andy,%20J...0?partial=true
Quote:
Mademoiselle Josette, My Woman (French: Mademoiselle Josette, ma femme) is a French comic play written by Paul Gavault and Robert Charvay which premiered in 1906. Numerous film adaptations have been made of it.
Quote:
"i am lonely will anyone speak to me" was the title of a thread that was posted on the Internet forum of the video codec downloads site Moviecodec.com, and had become "the web's top hangout for lonely folk". The thread began July 14, 2004; it was the first hit when the phrase "I am lonely" was entered into the Google search engine, though it has since dropped.
Quote:
Plain Janey Brown transforms into Jane Blonde: Sensational Spylet in this brilliantly inventive, hilarious adventure story from a first-time author. Ten-year-old Janey Brown feels like she is practically invisible. With her stick-thin legs, mousy... Google Books
Cake Cream awoke to a SWAT team blowing open the door of their luxurious penthouse suite, guns drawn: Mike was taken into custody and whisked away.
Trial ensued two hours later before Judge V.
Ms. Martin tearfully explained how Mike had grabbed her, spun her around, and French kissed her.
Mike said "Yes, that's what happened."
Judge V. ruled that Mike sexually assaulted Rebecca, concluding that inserting his tongue into her unwilling mouth was "sexual penetration."
Axl and Mike were unaware that as part of the "Me too" movement the statute of limitations had been extended to 25 years, not 20.
Judge V. scratched his aching balls under his cocaine flecked robe while sentencing Mike to 30 years in prison.
Mike thanked Judge V. and was welcomed; they shook hands and he was then led away in cuffs: as he marched into oblivion Mike sang "We're Off to see the Wizard."
Cake Cream left court and while feasting on strawberry blizzards at DQ Axl said "It looks like we need to find Mike's replacement."
.
They hee-hawed, brayed, farted tunefully and joyously sang "Springtime for Hitler" from that classic movie, "The Producers."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPXHRX8Q2hs
Quote:
Josette needs to marry within a year to get her aunt's money but her fiance has left. After getting permission from her godfather for a "white wedding, " she realizes she loves the godfather instead.
https://youtu.be/AAZQaYKZMTI
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day.
They decided they wanted to do a Cake Cream Show soon. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and booked a Cake Cream Show for tomorrow. They went to the movies and the Usher made snide and snarky comments about Mike. Mike felt harassed. Billy, James, Axl, Jimmy, and Andy were uncomfortable.
Axl said,"You are so rude and unprofessional." The Usher just smirked sardonically.
They watched the movie and were glad the movie was dark. They left during the movie credits before the house lights came on and they went to Red Lobster.
At Red Lobster, James and Melissa flirted with each other and she told them all she supported Mike. They all felt relieved that Melissa supported Mike. They had a nice time at Red Lobster.
After Red Lobster, they went to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and then went to sleep.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. It was time to go to the James L Knight Center. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center.
At the James L Knight Center, only 100 Fans showed up. They were SHOCKED. This was a REALLY far cry from 4,000 Fans.
They did a good show, and the 100 Fans cheered wildly, but there was definitely a.huge difference between 100 Fans cheering wildly and 4,000 Fans cheering wildly.
The final sendoff happened to more wild cheering and then the show was over.
After the Show, James, Billy, Jimmy, Mike Axl, and Andy all lamented about how empty and weird today's show was with only 100 Fans. They mentioned it felt creepy.
Axl said,"Let's book another Cake Cream Show for tomorrow. Maybe we'll get 4,000 people to come see us tomorrow." Andy, Billy, James, Jimmy, and Mike all backed up Axl. They booked another Show for tomorrow.
They went to Denny's and had a nice meal. After Denny's, they went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and all went to sleep.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and 4,000 people showed up just like Axl predicted. They were all happy.
They started the show and there were BOOS and JEERS and people were calling Mike a Rapist and chanting that Axl needed to fire Mike from Cake Cream.
Cake Cream and Axl were all SHOCKED. This 4,000 people weren't FANS, they were HATERS! The Haters cussed out Mike and Axl has a VERY deep loyalty to his Friends and Family, so he said,"I am not firing Mike from Cake Cream. Please stop.
So, you're going to keep a RAPIST in Cake Cream? What a bad Manager you are!" The Audience jeered at Axl. Billy, Mike, Andy, Axl, Jimmy, and James all felt uncomfortable.
Axl said,"Mike's not a Rapist. Please stop."
James, Jimmy, Mike, Billy, and Andy all said that Mike wasn't a Rapist. They also said that Axl wasn't a bad Manager. Axl was grateful at them for sticking up for him.
The Audience continued to chant,"Fire Mike! Fire Mike!" "Fire Mike!" "Fire Mike!"
Axl fed up said,"You know what, why don't I just fire YOU guys?" Get the FUCK out of the James L Knight Center!" Show's over!" The Audience was SHOCKED that Axl was kicking them all out!" They all scrammed like roaches when the lights are turned on them.
Axl, James, Jimmy, Mike, Andy, and Billy were all shocked at how disastrous the James L Knight Center Show was today and they were wishing for yesterday's performance of just 100 FANS over 4,000 HATERS that showed up today.
They went to Burger King and tried to salvage the horrific day they were having. They had a nice Burger King meal.
After Burger King they went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and.... Today's disastrous James L Knight Center was already going viral. YIKES.
On Social Media, People were questioning why Axl was so loyal to a RAPIST. Mike burst into tears, unable to keep a strong facade anymore. James, Jimmy, Axl, Billy, and Andy all comforted Mike and all told him he wasn't a Rapist.
Mike felt a little better, knowing he had five Brothers who all cared about him and loved him. They all ate ice cream and supported Mike.
They went to sleep.
At three AM Mike silently entered the bathroom, took a few Viagra, and quietly padded out of the luxurious penthouse suite.
"Call me a rapist, will they?" he muttered: "I'll show them."
Hard as a rock and intent on defoliation, Mike flagged down a passing casino bus and had it take him to its destination: the homeless section of Miami.
It was there that he found a zoned out black-complected homeless woman: "Not too shabby" he thought as he hit her on the head with a nearby hideous handbag filled with losing Bingo cards and a broken bowling ball: he pulled her begrimed sweatpants off and joyfully had his way with her still warm but rapidly cooling body.
Unbeknownst to Mike TMZ had employed a team to secretly spy on Cake Cream and follow Mike: they caught the event on camera but said nothing to Mike at the time.
Sated, Mike went to Denny's; at his request they made him an off the menu item: a strawberry blizzard which tasted so good...
Later that morning, back in the luxurious penthouse suite, the members of Cake Cream were doing their morning goat-yoga when the TV showed the TMZ video of Mike engaging in murder, necrophilia, and the joyous post-coitial consumption of a non-DQ strawberry blizzard.
Axl completed his downward dog pose, looked at Mike and asked "Do you have some explaining to do?"
Mike blushed deep red and said "No, why do you ask?"
"I ask because it looks like you murdered a homeless woman, had sex with her dead body, and then had a strawberry blizzard at Dennys and not at DQ. What the fuck, Mike."
"Aw, that's all just fake news" said Mike; "That's all AI generated. Who's up for DQ strawberry blizzards?"
Cake Cream farted in a manly manner as they filed out of their luxurious penthouse suite, climbed on their unicycles and pedaled to DQ.
The next day, they got up and got ready for the day. On Social Media, Mike was still being called a Rapist.
Mike felt harassed. Axl decided that maybe everybody should go to the bar today and have wings, fries, and soda. You know, go unwind.
Everybody agreed. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the bar.
At the bar, they were eating wings, fries, and drinking soda and Patrons were calling Mike a Rapist. Mike was visibly upset. Axl, James, Jimmy, Billy, and Andy were all upset too.
Axl reached his boiling point, his final straw, and decided he was going to sing Iron Man by Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne to support Mike and Mike, Andy, Billy, James, and Jimmy all supported Axl's decision. Axl smiled. He went to Karaoke and played the instrumental of Iron Man and sang Iron Man changing just the first couple of words.
He is iron man
Has he lost his mind?
Can he see or is he blind?
Can he walk at all
Or if he moves will he fall?
Is he alive or dead?
Has he thoughts within his head?
We'll just pass him there
Why should we even care?
He was turned to steel
In the great magnetic field
When he traveled time
For the future of mankind
Nobody wants him
He just stares at the world(Axl gave a chilling, intimidating, dark stare )
Planning his vengeance
That he will soon unfurl
Now the time is here
For iron man to spread fear
Vengeance from the grave
Kills the people he once saved
Nobody wants him
They just turn their heads
Nobody helps him
Now he has his revenge
Heavy boots of lead
Fills his victims full of dread
Running as fast as they can
Iron man lives again
The majority of the Audience had was in awe and had been filming everything and this was going to go viral and Cake Cream cheered wildly for Axl. Axl smiled and got off the Karaoke stage and went back to Cake Cream.
Mike was especially happy at Axl singing Iron Man for him. He thanked Axl for singing Iron Man for him. Axl welcomed him.
They all went back to the Luxurious Penthouse Suite and sure enough, the Iron Man performance went viral and People were talking about how badass Axl's performance of the song was. People noted that Iron Man could have been about both Axl(He traveled time to for the future of Mankind) and Mike.(The people turning on him)
They were all in a happy mood and chilled and then went to sleep.
Cake Cream returned to the karaoke bar the following evening, intent of further damage control.
As they sat at their table quaffing Shirley Temples and Roy Rogers, a woman approached Mike and said "Do you remember me?"
Mike's face went ashen: he unfurled a trembling fart, a little squeaker, actually, and said nothing as the stench of his fear permeated the room.
"Sure you do, Mike...we lived together for six months. You liked to beat the shit out of me, remember? It ended when you broke my jaw, sending me to the hospital. Do you rembmeber it all now? No? Well, maybe THIS will help..."
With that she piicked up the mic, selected her song and belted it out.
"My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you've seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
I think it's because I'm clumsy
I try not to talk too loud
Maybe it's because I'm crazy
I try not to act too proud
They only hit until you cry
And after that you don't ask why
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
Yes I think I'm okay
I walked into the door again
If you ask that's what I'll say
And it's not your business anyway
I guess I'd like to be alone
With nothing broken, nothing thrown
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am
Just don't ask me how I am
My name is Luka
I live on the second floor
I live upstairs from you
Yes I think you've seen me before
If you hear something late at night
Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
Just don't ask me what it was
They only hit until you cry
And after that you don't ask why
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore
You just don't argue anymore"
By the time she finished you could hear a pin drop; then a well of resentment and approbation rolled toward Mike.
"We better leave" said Axl; as they ran out the outraged crowd hurled bottles of Bud and baskets of tater tots at them.
They fled to DQ.
Their strawberry blizzards could not cut through the pressing notion of Doom and Gloom; "Mike, did you really beat up a woman?"
Mike smiled, and said "Yeah, but she deserved it."
Unbeknownst to Cake Cream, TMZ filmed both the battered woman singing "My Name is Luka" and Mike's admission at DQ that he was an unrepentant woman-beater: it went viral.
Hundreds of woman surrounded their luxurions penthouse suite, waving pitchforks and firebrands, demanding "Justice for Battered Women."
Through tears, Mike said to Axl "She really annoyed me, Axl, what else could I do but beat the holy shit out of her?"
What else, indeed?
Mr. V, I don't get why your Fictional Axl and Cake Cream keep going to Dairy Queen and getting Strawberry Blizzards. My Fictional Axl Rose and Cake Cream live in Miami. The closest DQ is in BROWARD, the next COUNTY!
They usually go to the DQ located at 4040 SW 67th Ave. in Miami and order strawberry blizzards because they enjoy consuming that lovely dairy treat: I mean, who doesn't?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
BTW, that DQ most certainly IS in Miami-Dade county.
Once again your "Memory" has failed and forsaken you.
I'm spotting a trend.
My Fictional Axl Rose and Cake Cream live in DOWNTOWN MIAMI(Hence them always performing at the James L Knight Center that's in Downtown Miami, ;) that 4040 SW 67th Ave in Miami is so far away from the Luxurious Penthouse Suite that it isn't even funny! :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVThey usually go to the DQ located at 4040 SW 67th Ave. in Miami and order strawberry blizzards because they enjoy consuming that lovely dairy treat: I mean, who doesn't?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
BTW, that DQ most certainly IS in Miami-Dade county.
Once again your "Memory" has failed and forsaken you.
I'm spotting a trend.
Funny, eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
I ain't laughing.
It is what it is, they eat where and what they eat. Get over it: my fiction trumps your fiction.
I did say it wasn't funny how far away my Fictional Axl and Cake Cream live from the nearest DQ.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVFunny, eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
I ain't laughing.
It is what it is, they eat where and what they eat. Get over it: my fiction trumps your fiction.
In my fiction the DQ is so close to the luxurious penthouse suite that Cake Cream regularly go there via pogo stick or unicycle.
Also in my fiction you are white, you live in the suburbs of Seattle, drive a two year old Range Rover, have two bratty kids and are married to a lame, lisping, left-handed Lakota lesbian.
Also unrealistic is ANY Hotel having SIX BEDROOMS in the Penthouse Suite. I did some research a couple of minutes ago, and so far, I only found ONE hotel that has FOUR Bedrooms in the Penthouse Suite. Another Penthouse Suite DOES fit six people, but it's only THREE bedrooms with two beds inside. So, a Penthouse Suite having SIX BEDROOMS is just not realistic. Also, Billy and Axl share a Bedroom, so realistically, Cake Cream and Axl wouldn't be booking a Penthouse Suite with six bedrooms in the first place.
When will it be posted?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Not sure how I'd react if you actually posted "a REALLY good Chapter!"
*sips coffee, pets cat: awaits an epiphany*
Mike being accused of sexual assault is the really good chapter/chapters I had in mind..Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVWhen will it be posted?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Not sure how I'd react if you actually posted "a REALLY good Chapter!"
*sips coffee, pets cat: awaits an epiphany*
Oh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
I note that your tome has not gotten either traction nor comment at WoV.
Over here your audience is limited, but at least one or more of us are reading it.
Who knows, with a bit more practice and experience you could make a living writing time traveling doppelganger fiction.
Or not...
On the other Website where I had a loyal responder until she fled that Website in solidarity with a bullied Poster, she wrote that she found my Fictional Axl Rose stories so good, she would buy them in Amazon! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVOh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
I note that your tome has not gotten either traction nor comment at WoV.
Over here your audience is limited, but at least one or more of us are reading it.
Who knows, with a bit more practice and experience you could make a living writing time traveling doppelganger fiction.
Or not...
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
You might want to ask the mods to delete all the postings about Axl et al and instead put them all into the form of the next great American novel and sell it on Amazon, like the lady suggested.
Your level of absurdity arguably rivals that of John Kennedy O'Toole's masterpiece, "A Confederacy of Dunces."
Monetize your gift, Tasha...you can thank me later.
Ka-ching...today a hovel in the Miami ghetto, tomorrow a luxurious penthouse suite.
And to think...it's all because of "words on a screen."
Who knew?
I can't sell it in Amazon because I'd have to get Axl Rose's permission to have it published since he is the main character.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVWhy buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
You might want to ask the mods to delete all the postings about Axl et al and instead put them all into the form of the next great American novel and sell it on Amazon, like the lady suggested.
Your level of absurdity arguably rivals that of John Kennedy O'Toole's masterpiece, "A Confederacy of Dunces."
Monetize your gift, Tasha...you can thank me later.
Ka-ching...today a hovel in the Miami ghetto, tomorrow a luxurious penthouse suite.
And to think...it's all because of "words on a screen."
Who knew?
Send him an advance copy requesting his blessing.
I'm sure he'll be very impressed.
And if he refuses...do it anyway.
So what if you're sued?
You seem judgment proof due to lack of assets.
Besides, he's a public figure and I question whether you'd need his permission anyway.
But if you're really afraid, simply change it from being based on Axl Rose and his time traveling doppelganger to Ludwig Von Beethoven and his time traveling doppelganger.
Or if not Ludwig then Elvis, or Buddy Holly...somebody long dead.
This is your ONE SHOT at the brass ring...do you REALLY want to give up this easily?
Tasha is the difference between absurdly boring, and, spine-tinglingly absurd. No one sincerely reads, let alone responds to, it, but, you.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Call it, "The book that no one read (except MrV)".
A lot more bizarre is the movie nutter that Monet turned out to be. At least with Redietz, no one takes him seriously, but, with Monet, there's Tableplay. What are the odds of such a nutter with a follower, in a forum of a handful of regular posters?
And, yes, we are the sum of our choices.
Well, there's you; and of course Ilovebigknockers read her drivel and posted with snarky repartee for a short while: this gave Tasha more of an audience than she and her saga deserve, but there it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by Garnabby
The poor thing...NOBODY is reading / responding to her typed vomitus at WoV...
The budding Bronte desperately wants positive attention and affirmation but receives only a stiff backhand, a mouthful of salt, and a thundrous, forum-vibrating fart in return for her "efforts."
Apt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Quote:
Bronte is a gender-neutral name of Gaelic and Greek origins. Perfect for both boys and girls, it means "bestower" or "thunder." It would be impossible to mention Bronte without referencing the three literary sisters, Charlotte, Emily, and Anne.
You must be forgetting that I had a VERY loyal reader of my Fictional Axl Rose stories on another Website, she only stopped because she left the Website in solidarity with a bullied Poster who quit the Website and the bullied Poster came back, but my loyal reader didn't come back even after he came back. The bullied Poster said something like,"When I quit, I had no idea she was going to quit too out of solidarity with me."Quote:
Originally Posted by GarnabbyTasha is the difference between absurdly boring, and, spine-tinglingly absurd. No one sincerely reads, let alone responds to, it, but, you.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Call it, "The book that no one read (except MrV)".
A lot more bizarre is the movie nutter that Monet turned out to be. At least with Redietz, no one takes him seriously, but, with Monet, there's Tableplay. What are the odds of such a nutter with a follower, in a forum of a handful of regular posters?
And, yes, we are the sum of our choices.
I didn't "forget" as I am only talking about people on VCT and WoV viewing your tome.
Tasha, I see you posted a boat-load of new Axl Rose bullshit at WoW and what do you know, just as before NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.
No comments about it at all...crickets.
It's as if DaVinci unveiled the Mona Lisa and nobody noticed; I mean, it's as if a horse dumped a load of road apples in the street and people avoided the ugliness and the stench.
Yeah, that's more like what I meant.
Can you embarrass yourself any more than you already have?
Time will tell...I'm sure that you will keep trying in your unending campaign to be thought of as a "normal" poster (epic fail, btw).
Face the facts: you do NOT have a future as a writer of fiction: I've told you this before but for whatever reason you continue to believe in yourself, which clearly is a huge mistake: you bring NOTHING to the table.
Hell, I wouldn't be posting my screeds here, piggy-backing off your tale, were the quality of your story more tolerable but it is simply so horrible that I cannot resist hurling off the cuff brickbats.
My Fictional Axl Rose as a Lawyer is good at making reasonable doubt, saying something like," Billy wears a motorcycle helmet when he goes out. It could have been ANYONE that you sold Cocaine and Subutex to. Do you have proof that you sold Cocaine and Subutex to Billy?" When a drug dealer in Court claimed that he sold Cocaine and Subutex to Billy. I didn't even know I was creating reasonable doubt when I wrote that and learned what reasonable doubt was when I was called for Jury Duty.
If in fact you truly had a good grasp of the concept of "reasonable doubt" you would certainly be keenly aware that there is much reasonable doubt as to your future as a writer of fiction.
Reasonable doubt is plain making jury doubt that the alleged criminal ACTUALLY did the crime, such as when Allison Peters claimed that James raped her on May 1st,when James was in fact in the hospital all day May 1st and Axl pointed out that there was hospital records to back this up. James had an airtight alibi, couldn't have raped Alison when he was in the hospital the entire day.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Apples and oranges.
You talk about characters raping bodies, but I am referring to you attempting to rape a reader's mind.
What is the legal term for pointing out inconsistencies such as a "Victim," claiming someone raped them the same day they were in a hospital all day?
The Latin term is "Non mentior:" i.e. "They lie."Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
But don't try that with Judge V., he'll simply respond "Quid omnes faciunt" i.e. "So what, they all do."
I suggest you have Axl speak in pig-Latin when he's in front of Judge V.
Making or filing a false police report?
My Fictional Axl Rose does call out Allison for committing Perjury in Court, prompting her to break down and cry and admit she lied about James and Jimmy raping her, admitting she just wanted money and revenge for them both dumping her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Garnabby
Not much fun stuff going on, this evening, and, so, I photocopied my hands, as in finger prints, etc. Ha.
At least on the numerology sites, at least someone was able to do the palm reading bit. Ha.
Whoa...dude, are you a mulatto?
A product of miscegenation, perhaps?
The next day, Axl and Mike got up and ate and got ready for the day. Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy were still asleep.
On Social Media, Rebecca Martin said she was suing Mike for sexual assault. For 20 Million.
"Oh no, " Mike and Axl said in unison.
Axl said,"Mike, I'm your Lawyer and Rebecca has no legal legs to stand on. The Statute Of Limitations for Florida ran out last year. Rebecca CAN'T sue you for sexual assault. " Mike had a troubled look on his face. Axl immediately picked up on Mike's troubled expression. .
Axl said,"Mike, you should look HAPPY that the Statute Of Limitations ran out for you in Florida, not troubled. "
Mike said," I'm going to Miami SeaWorld."
Axl said,"SeaWorld is in Orlando, not Miami. Did you mean Miami Seaquarium?"
Mike said,"Yep, Miami Seaquarium is what I meant."
Axl said,"I'm going to Miami Seaquarium with you."
Mike said,"I'm going to Parrot Jungle."
Axl said,"I'm going to Parrot Jungle with you "
Mike said,"I'm going to the Port Of Miami."
Axl said,"I'm going to the Port Of Miami with you "
Mike said,"I'm going to the Supermarket."
Axl said,"I'm going to the Supermarket with you "
Mike said,"I'm going to Disney World."
Axl said,"I'm going to Disney World with you."
Mike shook his head. "I just want to go out alone, Axl."
Axl said,"Is there anything you want to confess to me, Mike? Remember, I'm your Lawyer and will defend you."
Mike took a deep breath and said,"I kissed Rebecca Martin without asking her permission in Delaware, not Florida."
Axl looked up Delaware's Statute Of Limitations for sexual offenses and was HORRIFIED to learn that Delaware has NO Statute Of Limitations for sexual offenses. Meaning that Rebecca Martin could sue Mike for sexual assault.
Axl said,"Oh my God! I assumed this happened in FLORIDA! Mike, why didn't you tell me right off the bat that you kissed Rebecca without her permission in DELAWARE and not FLORIDA? "
Mike shook his head and didn't know how to answer Axl.
Axl said,"We agreed to be more open with each other." Cake Cream and Axl knew once,"We agreed to be more open with each other," was said, that was a prompt for them to open up about whatever they were hiding from each other."
Mike took a deep breath and said,"Because I didn't know Rebecca would sue me. I was hoping this would blow over REALLY quickly.
Axl said,"But it didn't blow over REALLY quickly. It's gotten even WORSE."
Mike said,"I know." Mike said,"Maybe I can just settle out of Court and give Rebecca the 20 Million to get her to leave me alone."
Axl shook his head. "Paying her 20 Million to get her to leave you alone won't help. It'll just make it WORSE for you because then multiple Women, LOTS of Women, Women you've never even SEEN before will be "Coming forward," with claims that you sexually assaulted them too, hoping to get 20 Million from you too. Settling out of Court is the WORST thing you can do. You need to take this thing to Trial, not settle out of Court for 20 Million for Rebecca."
Mike said,"But, I don't want to end up in Prison."
Axl said,"No one is going to throw you in Prison for a kiss you, at then five gave to another then five year old girl. If you had RAPED Rebecca at say age 16, that would have been a COMPLETELY different story. Axl's face got dark and Axl asked,"Mike, the girl you lost your virginity to at 16 was CONSENSUAL, right?"
Mike said,"Of course the sex I had with my Girlfriend at 16 was CONSENSUAL. I have NEVER raped anyone."
Axl breathed a sigh of relief. Axl said,"Okay, good, you didn't rape anyone."
Mike nodded.
Axl said," Once again, you want to fight this in Court with a Trial. We're going to have to travel to Delaware where the incident happened."
Mike said,"I REALLY don't want to travel to Delaware."
Axl said,"Since it happened in Delaware, that's where we have to travel to.
Mike gave a reluctant sigh and relented. Axl was right. On Social Media, Rebecca said she was filling the sexual assault Lawsuit against Mike for Delaware for three days from now.
Crap! Axl and Mike said simultaneously.
Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy woke up and the fiasco was explained.
Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all said that they would be flying to Delaware in support of Mike.
Mike and Axl smiled at the support of Billy, James, Andy, and Jimmy.. They all chilled.
The next day, Mike got his copy of the Summons/Lawsuit and answered it.
They chilled for the next couple of days and then put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to Miami International Airport and flew to Wilmington International Airport for the Rebecca Martin vs Mike Smith lawsuit tomorrow. They booked a couple of nights at the Hilton and chilled and chatted and then went to sleep.
Mike couldn't sleep, so he left the Hilton in the middle of the night and went for a walk.
"Man, I need SOMETHING" he muttered.
He entered an all night diner and saw a familiar face: "Hunter Biden, my old friend: how are things going with you?"
Humter sniffed loudly and said "Hi Mike. Shitty, or haven't you heard I'm in trial?"
"Me too, and no, I don't read the news."
They chatted like the old friends they were, and Hunter invited Mike back to his place to "work on trial strategies."
At his home Hunter broke out his stash and poured some healthy lines of Peruvian flake on the kitchen table: he took a snort as did Mike, then they did some more, and then some more...
At dawn Mike stumbled back into his bed at the Hilton, thouroughly brain-melted yet filled with untrammeled zeal.
"I'm invinciible" he muttered before falling asleep...three minutes later his alarm clock rang.
You guys missed the most telling part. Too bad that Finkle isn't in this thread. That guy catches everything. Ha.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Garnabby, that was pretty silly dousing your hands with toner.
Not that I am clamoring for it, but don't you think that virgin Karen would have preferred a dick pic?
Maybe sprinkle it with toner first so she feels more comfortable.
Just sayin'.
The farther parts of things, from the scanner, seem to naturally turn out darker.Quote:
Originally Posted by GarnabbyNot much fun stuff going on, this evening, and, so, I photocopied my hands, as in finger prints, etc. Ha.
At least on the numerology sites, at least someone was able to do the palm reading bit. Ha.
The next day, they got up and ate and got ready for the day. They put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the Courthouse.
At the Courthouse, they got processed and it was time for the Trial to start. This was different than the usual Court cases that Cake Cream and Axl went to. This was a TRIAL and not just a Court Case. There was a Jury of 12 people.
Mike felt nervous that these 12 people were going to put him in Prison for a KISS he gave a five year old girl when he was a five year old boy.
Axl told him to not worry, once again, it was just a kiss. Billy, James, Jimmy, and Andy tried to ease Mike's worried mind. Mike tried to relax but found it hard too.
Axl said,"I've NEVER lost a Court Case before, and I don't intend to lose today.
Mike said,"Once again, this isn't a mere Court Case, it's a TRIAL.
Axl said,"I've NEVER lost a Trial." He smugly smiled.
Mike said,"You've never WON a Trial either."
Axl said,"Touche, but I'm not going to allow you to be sued for $20 Million or be put into Prison over this.
Mike said,"I hope you're right."
Axl smiled at him. Mike gave an uncertain smile back..
The Trial started and was being televised. Rebecca Martin was there. Rebecca and Mike glared at each other.
Rebecca was allowed to go on the stand. She said,"Mike ruined my life at five when he forced himself on me." He sexually assaulted me. He needs to pay me $20 Million and then go to Prison." She cried.
Axl said,"Miss Martin, you said my client, Mr. Smith forced himself on you and you were sexually assaulted. You didn't say he forced himself IN you. You said,"ON you. Care to tell the Court exactly what happened that day? "
Rebecca's Lawyer said,"Objection, Mr. Rose is badgering my Client, Miss Martin.
The Judge overruled Rebecca's Lawyer's objection stating that Axl was badgering Rebecca since he was just simply asking her to tell what happened that day.
Rebecca looked nervous. She said," He did something to me without my permission."
Axl asked,"Was it sexual Assault as you claim? Remember Miss Martin, you are not allowed to commit Perjury in Court. " Rebecca looked even MORE nervous and said,"Mike touched me inappropriately."
Axl asked,"Care to tell the Court exactly how Mr. Smith touched you inappropriately?"
Rebecca said,"Axl, you shouldn't even be Mike's Lawyer! Mike's your Friend and you Manage him for Cake Cream!" This is a conflict of interest!"
The Judge said he would allow Axl to remain Mr. Smith's Lawyer despite Axl and Mike being Friends and Axl managing Mike. Axl and Mike both thanked the Judge and were welcomed.
Axl asked,"Why did you wait 21 years to press charges against Mr. Smith? Why not press charges much sooner?"
Rebecca knew she only came forward because she wanted to get WEALTHY from using Mike because Mike was the Wealthiest Singer in the world.
"I'm the VICTIM and you're treating me like I'm a LIAR! You're harassing me!" Rebecca said, crying even harder. She couldn't confess she just wanted to be wealthy from Mike.
Axl asked again, "Exactly what happened between you and Me Smith that day?"
Rebecca said,"Axl, leave me alone!" Rebecca said to the Judge, "Please make Axl stop questioning me and make him stop being Mike's Lawyer! " She was freaking out. Mike smirked in his motorcycle helmet.
The Judge said," Since you are pressing charges and seeking a Lawsuit against Mr. Rose's Client, Mr. Rose has every right to question you."
Rebecca cried. Rebecca asked her Lawyer to question Mike instead. She was hoping that her Lawyer would get Mike to confess to Sexual Assault so that she could get the $20 Million and Mike could end up in Prison and she could get a lot of clout for herself for "Standing up for herself," and putting her ,"Predator," in Prison. The Judge allowed Mike to be questioned by Rebecca's Lawyer. Axl told Mike to not confess to sexual assault. Mike nodded. The Judge allowed Rebecca to step down. Rebecca did.
Mike went on the stand.
Rebecca's Lawyer asked,"Mr. Smith, did you sexually assault my Client, Miss Martin?"
Mike answered,"No, I did not. I didn't sexually assault Miss Martin."
Rebecca's Lawyer asked Mike,"Exactly what happened that day in 2001 between you and Miss Martin when you were both five?"
Mike paused. He didn't want to outright admit he kissed Rebecca without her permission.
Out of nowhere, the same Teacher who had told Mike's Mother to make him apologize for kissing Rebecca without her permission spoke up and said that she had irrefutable proof of exactly what happened between Mike and Rebecca that day. The Judge allowed Mike to step down and allowed the Teacher to go on the stand.
She said, In 2001, I was both Miss Martin and Mr. Smith's Teacher. I have a tape of exactly what happened and I can have the Court watch it."
The Judge allowed the tape to be shown. The tape showed that Mike merely KISSED Rebecca while Rebecca looked shocked and the Teacher admonished Mike and made him stand in the corner for a time out.
The Judge said,"This tape shows exactly what happened between Miss Martin and Mr. Smith. Jury, you may make your deliberations." The Jury deliberated and found Mike Not Guilty of Sexual Assault because all he did was kiss Rebecca without her permission.
The Judge said,"The Jury has found Mr. Smith Not Guilty. The Lawsuit and Case against Mr. Smith is Dismissed." He banged his gavel.
Rebecca looked pissed that she lost her lawsuit and charge against Mike. She paid her Lawyer.
The Judge ordered Rebecca to be put in jail for Perjury in Court for falsely claiming that Mike sexually assaulted her when he just kissed her without permission.
Mike, Billy, Axl, James, Jimmy, and Andy all smugly smirked in their motorcycle helmets. Axl won the Trial and Mike didn't have to pay Rebecca any money and wouldn't be going to Prison for this! Instead, REBECCA would be incarcerated instead! It was a win win situation for Cake Cream and Axl!
Rebecca was led out to be out in Custody and Cake Cream and Axl were allowed to leave about 30 minutes later.
They went to Denny's and had a nice lunch, celebrating Axl's first Trial win and Mike beating his case. They paid and left.
Oh; I didn't know that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Garnabby
Gee, is that how god makes black people?
Cake Cream praised Axl as they slurped their strawberry blizzards through wide, custom-made-for-celebrities solid gold Crazy Straws at DQ.
"For a doppelganger who never went to law school you're a great attorney" they all trumpted, the sound of praise blending with their cacophony of tuneful farts.
Never bashful and having an ego which craved more than it deserved, Axl nooded his head and said "Yes, that is true."
While riding their mono-wheels back to their luxurious penthouse suite Axl had a Profound Realization: he was much happier in court than with the band; "Boys, I've decided to quit Cake Cream and open up a Law Office."
Cake Cream ahook his hand and thanked him for all the "good times" and then went online to find his replacement; Axl moved to NYC, opened an office in Trump Tower, and limited his practice representing only one client...Donald Trump.
After going to Denny's, they went back to the Hilton Hotel and already, the Rebecca Martin vs Mike Smith case was already going viral.
People were saying stuff like,"Wow, Rebecca Martin is a LIAR, Claiming that Mike sexually assaulted her when all he did was kiss her. She REALLY should have just said," Mike kissed me when we were both five, without my permission. What she ACTUALLY said made it seem more like he straight up RAPED her, not merely kissed her. Rebecca knew what she was doing with that claim. Poor Mike, at 26 getting dragged through the mud for a kiss he gave at five years old, 21 years ago.
Cake Cream and Axl were happy with the support that Mike was getting. Mike said, "Thank you Axl for being such a good Lawyer to all of us." Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Mike.
Axl shyly blushed and welcomed Mike.
Rebecca Martin was now in jail for committing Perjury, Mike didn't have to payout $20 Million, and he wasn't going to Prison. Life was looking up for Cake Cream.
Axl said,"We always persevere through the bad times," Axl reminded Cake Cream happily.
They all happily backed him up.
Billy and Axl went to their bedroom and made out and cuddled, happy that Mike beat his Trial. They told each other they loved each other and soon fell asleep.
Meanwhile, James, Andy, Mike, and Jimmy chatted about how happy they were that Mike beat his Trial.
Mike said,"Thank God Axl talked me out of just straight up paying Rebecca $20 Million to get her to leave me alone. It would have been a HUGE mistake. I'm also glad that Axl didn't fire me from Cake Cream like those haters wanted him to do."
Jimmy said,"Axl's a good Lawyer , a good Manager, and a good Friend." Everyone backed up Jimmy.
Andy said,"I can't believe I tried to sell out Axl for just $1,000/$5,000. And then stole $1.6 Billion from you guys. I'm truly sorry."
Mike, James, and Jimmy all said they knew that Andy was sorry for what he did. They all told them they loved him like a Brother.
Andy smiled happily, happy that he had five Brothers who all loved him and vice versa.
Mike said,"Hopefully with me beating my Trial, I will no longer be called a Rapist.
Jimmy and James were like,"Yeah, being called a Rapist is no fun. They looked at each other awkwardly, remembering Allison accusing them of raping her, and the rift she caused in their Friendship.
Mike said,"And now both Allison and Rebecca are in jail for their lying actions, good riddance to them both!" Everyone was happy that both of these lying Women were behind bars.
Andy said,"I'm glad that Allison and Rebecca are no longer a threat. I just wish Matthew was in jail too. He betrayed me for $20 Million, the exact same amount that Rebecca tried to sue Mike for."
James, Jimmy, and Mike consoled Andy over the soul crushing betrayal that Matthew did to him.
Andy smiled at the support of his Brothers. Andy was truly happy with his five Brothers. Andy, James, Jimmy, and Mike all chatted and chilled more and then went to sleep.
After going to Denny's, they went back to the Hilton Hotel and already, the Rebecca Martin vs Mike Smith case was already going viral.
People were saying stuff like,"Wow, Rebecca Martin is a LIAR, Claiming that Mike sexually assaulted her when all he did was kiss her. She REALLY should have just said," Mike kissed me when we were both five, without my permission. What she ACTUALLY said made it seem more like he straight up RAPED her, not merely kissed her. Rebecca knew what she was doing with that claim. Poor Mike, at 26 getting dragged through the mud for a kiss he gave at five years old, 21 years ago.
Cake Cream and Axl were happy with the support that Mike was getting. Mike said, "Thank you Axl for being such a good Lawyer to all of us." Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy all backed up Mike.
Axl shyly blushed and welcomed Mike. He thanked Billy, James, Jimmy, and Andy for what they said. They all welcomed him.
Rebecca Martin was now in jail for committing Perjury, Mike didn't have to payout $20 Million, and he wasn't going to Prison. Life was looking up for Cake Cream.
Axl said,"We always persevere through the bad times," Axl reminded Cake Cream happily.
They all happily backed him up.
Billy and Axl went to their bedroom and made out and cuddled, happy that Mike beat his Trial. They told each other they loved each other and soon fell asleep.
Meanwhile, James, Andy, Mike, and Jimmy chatted about how happy they were that Mike beat his Trial.
Mike said,"Thank God Axl talked me out of just straight up paying Rebecca $20 Million to get her to leave me alone. It would have been a HUGE mistake. I'm also glad that Axl didn't fire me from Cake Cream like those haters wanted him to do."
Jimmy said,"Axl's a good Lawyer , a good Manager, and a good Friend." Everyone backed up Jimmy.
Andy said,"I can't believe I tried to sell out Axl for just $1,000/$5,000. And then stole $1.6 Billion from you guys. I'm truly sorry."
Mike, James, and Jimmy all said they knew that Andy was sorry for what he did. They all told them they loved him like a Brother.
Andy smiled happily, happy that he had five Brothers who all loved him and vice versa.
Mike said,"Hopefully with me beating my Trial, I will no longer be called a Rapist.
Jimmy and James were like,"Yeah, being called a Rapist is no fun. They looked at each other awkwardly, remembering Allison accusing them of raping her, and the rift she caused in their Friendship.
Mike said,"And now both Allison and Rebecca are in jail for their lying actions, good riddance to them both!" Everyone was happy that both of these lying Women were behind bars.
Andy said,"I'm glad that Allison and Rebecca are no longer a threat. I just wish Matthew was in jail too. He betrayed me for $20 Million, the exact same amount that Rebecca tried to sue Mike for."
James, Jimmy, and Mike consoled Andy over the soul crushing betrayal that Matthew did to him.
Andy smiled at the support of his Brothers. Andy was truly happy with his five Brothers. Andy, James, Jimmy, and Mike all chatted and chilled more and then went to sleep.
It was the opening of the Election Fraud trial; the defendant was snoozing and farting up a stink storm while his attorney stood and began his opening statement to the jury.
"My client cannot be guilty of stealing the election because he is not really whom the prosecution claims he is. Thank you."
Axl sat while his client snored.
Surprised but undaunted, the prosecution put on witness after witness to prove that Axl's client conspired to steal the 2020 election; Axl asked no questions of cross examination, he merely smiled like the cat who ate the cream.
When the government rested their case, Axl put on his only witness: his client.
"Sir, what is your name?"
"I go by many names. I prefer Jesus the best, but that would not be my real name."
"What is your real name?"
The defendant smirked, farted loudly enough to echo in the courtroom and said "You know who I am: we're kindred souls."
At this the jurors put down their phones, needlepoint and kindles and paid attention...
"We are both men from earlier times, Axl: doppelgangers. Just as you are a double from the past, so am I, with one difference: I chose to change my appearance."
"Who was your forebearer? Who are you, really?"
A loud fart permeated the courtroom, then "Adolph Hitler."
Immediately the disclosure went viral; "That explains a LOT" said Joe Biden.
Within hours the MAGA dolts donated six billion dollars to aid Mr. Hitler in his attempt to become Der Fuhrer of the USA.
"MAGA: Make America German Again."
I laughed out loud at the "Make America German Again!" LMAO! :DQuote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
I love the anagrams with gematria to do with God and/or death. Ha.
--->Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town.
Woe to Thee O Land Whose King Is a Child.
https://anagram-solver.net/Oh,%20I%2...e?partial=true
Quote:
First, Death (clad in biker boots, a hooded cape and very brief briefs) gets off a bus in Shuckton, Ontario, Canada, and takes off on a bicycle. A short time later, the suburban town is rocked to its core when the mayor's dead body is found stuffed into his mailbox. Everyone is a suspect in the murder, and comedy troupe Kids in the Hall is on hand to contribute to the mayhem.
10:17 = 10: (16 + 1) ---> 116/1 ---> 911, when read in reverse, with 1/116 ---> 911.Quote:
Ecclesiastes 10:16-17 provides wisdom about the impact of leadership on a nation's well-being and the importance of moderation and wisdom in personal conduct. It serves as a reminder of the significance of wise and capable leaders and the influence of their behavior on society.
After going to Denny's, they went back to the Hilton Hotel and got in position for the fart sniffing circle. Each band member, belly full of hot Denny's breakfast gas, knelt on the floor with nose pressed against the buttocks of the bandmate in front of him. On the count of three, they bowed their backs and pushed out a rancid bark of hot wind that burned the end of their sphincters and their nostrils. Soon the air inside the small hotel room was damp and hazy with flatulence.
People were saying stuff like,"Wow, I can't believe farts are back on the menu."
Cake Cream and Axl were happy with the support that Mike was getting to explore his gassy side. Mike said, "Thank you Axl for letting me do a little heinous anus in your face while Billy, Andy, James, and Jimmy sucked me off!"
Axl shyly blushed and welcomed Mike. He thanked Billy, James, Jimmy, and Andy for giving Mike a hummer so good it relaxed his bowels.
Apropos of nothing, Some chick named Rebecca Martin was now in jail for writing terrible fan fiction about Axl Rose. Mike said,"Thank God Axl talked me out of just straight up paying Rebecca $20 Million to stop writing about me farting and getting hummers in the DQ bathroom. It would have been a HUGE mistake.
Mike said,"Hopefully with me beating my rapist to death with a frozen calzone, I will no longer be called a trial.
Jimmy and James were like,"Yeah, being called a trial is no fun. They looked at each other awkwardly, remembering Allison accusing them of being trials, and the rift she caused in their Friendship. Andy was truly happy with his five Brothers. Andy, James, Jimmy, and Mike all chatted and chilled more and then went to sleep.
At about 3:00 AM, they were awoken by the sound of Axl screaming his nuts off. Mike spat out James's cock and ran to flip on the light switch. Axl stood in the middle of the room bare ass naked with a scorpion dangling from his nutsack.
Andy screamed "Get your claws off of my man's balls, you hellish crustacean."
Axl's screams started to "strobe" like a European siren.
Thnking quickly, Andy ran back to their bedroom and grabbed Orville, their trained gerbil, and held the squirming mammal to his lover's testes: never a gerbil to pass up a free meal (or a bath to remove the feces and stench) Orville quickly ate the offending scorpion then let out a gerbilish fart of contentment.
Axl panted heavily, and upon recovering he thanked both Andy and Orville for removing the scorpion from his nutsack; he was welcomed; they shook hands / paws, fist-bumped / paw-bumped, then simultaneously slapped / scratched each other silly.
"Man, I want a strawberry blizzard, but DQ isn't open yet."
"They make good blizzards at the casino down the block."
"Let's go...to infinity, and beyond..."
Cake Cream brayed and farted toots of pleasure at the prospect; they left the Hilton and pogoed to the casino.
It was while consuming their frosty dairy treats that they saw a sight that forever seared their eyeballs: a middle-aged woman with the most hideous handbag imaginable took a shit on the chair of the Regal Riches slot she was playing; she grabbed a handful and began to "paint" images of high heels on the machine, all the while mumbling "Mama needs new shoes."
Security soon arrived; confrontation and denial led to fisticuffs and the wannabe Renoir received a broken arm instead of a new pair of Ferragamos.
As she was being led away the wounded fecal painter yelled "Hey assholes, don't forget my box of Popeyes fried chicken."
This sight caused the wannabe-attorney in Axl to tell Cake Cream "Stay here, boys...that poor, starving, misunderstood and oppressed black woman with a handbag from hell needs all the help that my keen legal mind can give her. Remember, black lives matter."
Axl followed the confederacy of dunces into the back room: that is when and where the "fun" REALLY started...
The back room was tastefully appointed with preschool-style furniture made bigger for adults. The fecal artist sat on a particularly bright orange chair at a table that was set with markers and coloring pages. Axl was confused by the casino staff whose moods had dramatically softened.
"Are you going to call the cops on my client?" Axl asked
"No. We want to hire her to paint a mural on a new property we're developing. We need to commission a local black artist, and we have a feeling your client will only require free play as compensation."
Axl pondered over the intriguing proposition. He turned to look at his client, coloring happily with a collection of brown and tan markers and crayons.
"Will my client have to provider her own...uh... art supplies?"
"We will provide her with paint. Unfortunately local health code prohibits using poop as an outdoor mural medium."
"She will sign on one condition," Axl said with an air of pomposity he had learned from watching old courtroom dramas. "My client insists that the band Cake Cream play on the night of the grand opening, and that you will pay them whatever their appearance fee is." Axl smirked. I'm gonna charge these guys one million strawberry blizzards, he mused.
It was at that moment that the door opened and the casino's legal counsel entered the room; he was quickly brought up to speed.
"Are you the Axl I've been reading about at VCT?"
Blushing, Axl admitted that was so.
"And you're a member of Cake Cream, are you not?"
Axl nodded cautiously while a redolent squeaker quietly snuck out of his butt cheeks.
"Then you cannot ethically request that Cake Cream play as a condition of settling this matter; you are a member, that is prohibited self-dealing and a conflict of interest."
Axl was clueless as to ethics and it showed.
"Well then, we have no deal."
"Fine. Boys, call the police and have them arrest this wretched woman for smearing her shit all over our Regal Riches machine. Then go down to the homeless camps and find another black person to do our artwork; offer a bucket of KFC and a bottle of MD-20-20 as the fee."
At this the suspect turned to Axl and said "Motherfucker, you damned well better straighten this out or else I'll sic a mess of 'hood rats on you, and believe me that is not something to look forward to."
Axl's bowels began to liquify; he reached back into the depths of his memory and soon recalled some of the fancy legal terms he'd learned over the years from binge watching Perry Mason and LA Law.
"Such a condition precedent is not unreasonable; you are estopped from asserting a contrary position due to our detrimental reliance. The rule of Shelley's case..." and he rambled on mindlessly for five minutes, saying nothing of value.
As he finished with a flourish and a fart two cops came in, cuffed his client and hauled her away, kicking and screaming "Where's my fucking chicken?"
Hmm. Looks like ILoveBigKnockers is back. Ha.
Garnabby Garnabby is online now
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1,069 ----------------------------------> 1069 = 1069*1 ---> 1961, or 1691
I also think that pinchingyourballs is Ilovebigknockers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Garnabby
I think it's his brother posting under his account.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaI also think that pinchingyourballs is Ilovebigknockers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Garnabby
What's really neat, in my post above, is that I love (big knockers) came back, to us, in the very next post. Ha.Quote:
Originally Posted by GarnabbyI love the anagrams with gematria to do with God and/or death. Ha.
--->Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town.
Woe to Thee O Land Whose King Is a Child.
https://anagram-solver.net/Oh,%20I%2...e?partial=true
Quote:
First, Death (clad in biker boots, a hooded cape and very brief briefs) gets off a bus in Shuckton, Ontario, Canada, and takes off on a bicycle. A short time later, the suburban town is rocked to its core when the mayor's dead body is found stuffed into his mailbox. Everyone is a suspect in the murder, and comedy troupe Kids in the Hall is on hand to contribute to the mayhem.
10:17 = 10: (16 + 1) ---> 116/1 ---> 911, when read in reverse, with 1/116 ---> 911.Quote:
Ecclesiastes 10:16-17 provides wisdom about the impact of leadership on a nation's well-being and the importance of moderation and wisdom in personal conduct. It serves as a reminder of the significance of wise and capable leaders and the influence of their behavior on society.
And, that the two anagram solutions above work out to each other, when reversed. Kids, to child; death, to woe; town, to land; and, Kingdom Hall, to king.
Well, he said that #137 was his last post. But, not that it was his final post. (If I recall.)
https://youtu.be/20HoJZecNqM
After Axl's short-lived adventure as counsel to a muralist of short-lived success, he went back to the room to find his bandmates. His little detour had given him a great idea for a new business. He opened the door to his luxurious penthouse suite and was immediately hit with the stench of hot frozen pizza farts tinged with fermented vegetables. He mentally congratulated the boys on having some salad with their meals for a change. Real salad, that is, not "tossed salad."
"Boys!" Axl barked with his mouth. He then barked with his anus before continuing, "We're going to start our own preschool!"
"I'm great with kids," replied Andy, blushing shyly.
"Me too," Mike joined in. "Remember the time we accidentally conjured 5-year-old John Fogerty and promptly returned him to present-day John Fogerty?"
Axl had indeed forgotten that brief chapter in this hideous fan fiction. No matter. They needed to come up with a great name for their posh high-end preschool, and more importantly needed to attract a wealthy clientele. Rich people will pay more for fancy private preschool than for college. Axl espied Jimmy looking contemplative. "What's on your mind Jimmy?"
"I actually never went to preschool or kindergarten or 1st grade or 2nd grade or 3rd grade or 4th grade or 5th grade or 6th grade or--"
Axl cut him off sharply and barked, "You could have just said you never went to school, fool!"
"Yeah, I never went to school. I was wondering..." Jimmy blushed shyly before continuing, "...could I be enrolled as your first student?"
Axl just then got a better idea than starting his own chain of pricey preschools. "Change of plans boys! We're going to homeschool Jimmy from pre-k to 12th grade, AND we're going to film it and sell it as a reality show to Netflix!"
Cake Cream all shook hands and thanked and welcomed one another for this brilliant idea.
Axl had his fellow "teachers" tie up and truss Jimmy and pull down his fart-stained sweats.
"Jimmy, it is now time for your first lesson in home school Sex Ed, to wit: 'Sex before eight or else it's too late' ."
Cake Cream "creamed" Jimmy repeatedly and quite brutally but he soon learned to like it and quickly became an avid pupil.
Tasha ripped the page from the typewriter and read it aloud to her goldfish. When she finished, the poor fish turned belly up and floated to the top of the bowl like a turd after a greasy meal of Chinese food. "Whew, all that butt stuff is too nasty, even for Goldie!" she cried. "I need to clear my head with a wholesome, family friendly activity." With that, she hopped on the next bus headed to Target. Once inside the store she blindly grabbed a bunch of items off the XXL clearance rack and headed to the dressing rooms with her bounty. Once safely ensconced in the 2' by 2' cell they had the nerve to call a "room," Tasha set to work laying a hot brownie inside each article of clothing. She heard a knock at the door of her cell.
A slightly muffled and timid voice asked, "Everything all right in there, ma'am? Some customers are complaining about a smell."
Tasha racked her brain for a lie to tell the Target employee, but she was unable to get out of Walgreen's employee mode and mistakenly replied, "Sir, please do not poop on the merchandise."
"Ma'am, I'm gonna need you to exit the dressing room NOW!" barked a much less friendly voice. Ah shit, mused Tasha.
Jimmy went to Target to buy some Calmoseptine to soothe his ravaged anus.
While he crouched lurking in the bra section he espied a woman with a hideous handbag being detained by an acne-scarred clerk.
"Let me take care of this" Jimmy said, shooing the clerk away and taking charge.
Tasha Karen sobbed "Oh it's just a little poop stain...what's wrong with a little poop stain?"
At than moment Jimmy realized he found the perfect subject for his upcoming home-school show and tell.
"I agree, lady...nothing wrong with it at all. In fact some think farts are wonderful."
They looked deeply into each other's eyes and let loose wall rattling eructations simultaneously.
Wow...
They adjourned to DQ and over scrumptious strawberry blizzards agreed that she would indeed follow him to his luxurious suite and regale the lads with tales of fecal derring-do, surreptitious skid marking and odiferous shit staining.
You guys have completely ruined my Fictional Axl Rose story. :(
No, not "completely"...not yet, anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Keep posting more chapters and watch the unraveling continue at an epic pace.
I mean, watch us playfully run with it.
Yeah, that's what I meant to say...
Jimmy was nervous about taking a woman up to the luxurious penthouse suite at the James L Knight Center. Instead of taking the elevator up to the top to the luxurious penthouse suite at the James L Knight Center, he decided he and his companion could use the exercise after all those blizzards, so they took the stairs, which increased the total length of their trek by 2.68545200106530644530971483548179569382%. While in the stairwell at the James L Knight Center, the unlikely duo passed a disheveled man with stained clothing and an odd metallic smell about his person who was going down. The man could be heard muttering under his breath that every natural number is the sum of at most four squares and at most nine cubes. When he passed, Tasha remarked,
"That man stank worse than my step mama coochie after she go for her run."
"Indeed," agreed James. To make his companion more comfortable he let rip a rancid strawberry and dairy toot that quickly filled the stairwell and covered up the odd stench of the odd man. The hiked up the stairwell at a leisurely pace, only stopping when Tasha slipped on some ketchup.
"That so nasty. Why people gotta be eating they hot dogs and fries in the stairwell at the James L Knight Center?"
"Indeed," agreed James. James noticed more ketchup and barbecue sauce smears the higher up they went toward the luxurious penthouse suite at the James L Knight Center. When they finally reached the door of their luxurious penthouse suite at the James L Knight Center, James was appalled to discover the carpet outside their door stained and wet with grape juice or red wine. The boys are so messy, he mused.
Upon turning the key in the knob and opening the high-security door, he let out a shriek. The boys were lying face down in pools of ketchup, barbecue sauce, grape juice, and red wine.
"Get up and clean up this mess!" he shouted from the doorway. He felt Tasha put a hand on his shoulder.
"Jimmy, they's dead. All them sauces we seen in the stairwell was blood. I think that weird dude we passed might have kilt your boys."