Young Axl Rose and Cake Cream in 2022! :D

[pinchingyourballs]

After his visit to Dr. Nathan, Mike swung by the luxurious penthouse suite for a quick wank in the shower. He pulled up a porno on his phone to watch while taking a pre-shower dump:

[MisterV]

karen plopped her tired, worried ass down in the beat yet still sort of comfortable living room chair and pondered recent developments.

"These guys have totally derailed my Axl / Cake Cream saga, but I don't really mind, at least I get some attention."

Her mama came in after a hard day cleaning rich peoples' homes: upon espying her daughter she smacked her across the face, saying "Girl, ever since you started this Bingo shit you ain't doin' none of the chores around here. Why should I have to clean up your piles of shit from the kitchen floor?"

Karen blushed furiously: she espied the gnawed chicken bones and the piles of shit which they had spawned, and knew that there was no good reason for it.

"And the weirdos you meet of those dating sites: why, a guy in a penis costume showed up one time. What is wrong with you, girl?"

Karen was at a loss as to how to respond because she just knew that deep inside there most certainly was something wrong with her, but she lacked the education and experience to identify it.

"Now mama, please: you know I work so's we don't has to live in the streets: let me enjoy my free time, OK?"

"Don't back talk your mama, Karen: now go to your room!"

Karen went to her dank room wondering what ever happened to the blind date in the penis costume: it was fun til he bedecked himself in a rubber sheet and said "Ready to build the beast with two backs? No worries, I'm wearing a rubber."

Karen put the grim thought of having narrowly missed defoliation out of her mind the way she always did: by turning to the wit, wisdom and comfort offered her at VCT and the other gambling forums she haunted.

[pinchingyourballs]

After his shower Mike worked up the courage to follow the lead Dr. Nathan had given him. He sneaked out of the luxurious penthouse suite and took several buses to get to his destination, a dank alleyway that appeared blocked by dumpsters. Ever determined, Mike squeezed between the fetid trash receptacles and was rewarded with a welcome sight: a small red door. He crouched down low and knocked on it. A woman in a lab coat appeared behind the door, opening it just a crack.

"Are you the calzone delivery guy? Leave the calzones by the door, your money is in under that wooden pallet over there. Don't worry, there are no spiders."

"No, I'm not the delivery guy. I got your info from Dr. Nathan. You see, I really like fruit. As in, I REALLY REALLY like fruit, if you catch my drift." Mike then farted and let it drift toward the scientist lady. The scientist lady did indeed catch all the drifts.

"Come in."

Mike squeezed through the small door and followed the lady down a dark hallway. She lead him to a small living room and motioned toward a couch. "My name's Dr. Abby Garn. Dr. Nathan told me about you. Please have a seat by Tangerine Man."

Mike's jaw dropped when he saw Tangerine Man. It was a humanoid figure with an orange for a head, fully articulated limbs and extremities, all covered in skin that looked and smelled like the skin of a tangerine. He noted with dismay that Tangerine Man lacked genitals, eyes, nose, ears, and mouth. Mike sat down next to Tangerine Man, and TM deftly handed Mike a plate of crunchy butter cookies, his favorite.

"How does he know to pass me a plate of cookies if he doesn't have eyes or ears?" Mike asked the scientist lady.

"When I cross breed fruits and hobos, I select hobos who used to be normal people. I believe the gestures are instinctual, though I haven't worked out the exact mechanism how they know how to act like normal people around people." the scientist replied.

"They?"

"Oh yes, take a look over there."

Mike looked where the scientist pointed and saw a Lime person and Lemon person sitting at a table playing chess or checkers. They had the same structure as Tangerine Man, except being made of lime and lemon respectively.

"Do they have brains? How are they able to play board games?" Mike asked in awe.

"No brains whatsoever. In fact, if you're hungry, you can peel their skin and dig out some citrus flesh for a light snack. They fully regenerate within a few minutes and don't seem to feel pain." Lime person and Lemon person turned their head-forms in Mike's direction. The Lime one gave a small wave and the Lemon one nodded to acknowledge Mike's presence. Then they turned back to their game. Mike couldn't be sure, but he thought he saw the Lime person ever so slightly lift a butt cheek to fart.

"It's incredible. But why don't they have genitals? Haven't you ever been curious what it would be like to fuck one of them? Or get fucked by one?"

"These citrus dudes are my special pets. I don't want anyone doing freaky shit to them. But if you come to the back room, I have some specimens that are more to your taste. Just one thing though, I only take cash up front. Don't even thing about trying to pay me in Bingo Free Play or Cake Cream concert tickets.

[MisterV]

Mike felt the sweat of his brow flow down his body, lubricating his johnson: "Ho-ho, this could be IT..."

The Mad Doctor used a skeleton-headed key to open the massive oak door, then said "Money up front...now."

Mike venmoed the brilliant yet hideously ugly head-shrinker the agreed upon sum and entered the dimly lit back room.

He first espied what looked like a massive NFL lineman fucking a pumpkin; in the corner a CPA was having at it with a cantaloupe.

Mike's heart pounded fiercely until it nearly burst out of his chest: in the center of the room, lit by a weak Klieg light, was the sexiest honeydew he'd ever seen, chained to the edge of a platform with a hole drilled where the stem had been: the hole was actually winking at him.

Mike ripped off his clothes, panting and shouting in glee as he impaled the feisty fruit with his turgid member, yelling "Honey, do me..."

It didn't last long yet it seemed to last forever.

Zipping up Mike asked "Can I leave a tip?" and was told "Are you fucking crazay? How can you tip a fruit you fucked?"

Mike admitted he had no idea.

[Tasha]

The next day, Axl, Billy, James, and Jimmy got up and ate Corn Pops cereal. They drank orange juice and water. They chatted for a while. Jimmy and James went back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Mike and Andy got up and ate bagels with cream cheese and lox. They drank lemonade and water.

On Social Media, Fans were clamoring for another Cake Cream Show for tomorrow. Mike and Andy panicked. They had forgotten that Cake Cream Fans would still want to see Cake Cream Shows.

Meanwhile, Axl panicked when he saw that Fans of Cake Cream wanted a Cake Cream Show for tomorrow. Billy asked him what was wrong with Fans wanting to see a Cake Cream Show for tomorrow.

Axl shook his head. He knew that he and Andy shouldn't be doing a Cake Cream Show for tomorrow, not with Andy having a crush on him. Out loud he said,"Maybe we shouldn't do a Cake Cream Show tomorrow.

Billy asked,"What the hell is going on Axl?"

Axl panicked and told Billy he was going to go to Older Axl's house in a few minutes.

Billy suspiciously pointed out that Older Axl was doing a Wild Guns Show.... In BRAZIL.

Axl said,"I'm going to Sam's house in a few minutes!"

Billy said,"Sam is part of Wild Guns!"

Axl said,"I REALLY don't want to do a Cake Cream Show tomorrow!"

Billy said,"Was that so hard to admit? You could have just said you don't want to do a Cake Cream Show tomorrow." Billy smiled and answered on Social Media that they didn't want to do a Cake Cream Show tomorrow."

The Fans were disappointed, but reluctantly understood.

Axl breathed a sigh of relief.

Meanwhile, Mike and Andy chatted about how bad of an idea doing a Cake Cream Show tomorrow really would be. They checked Social Media again and breathed sighs of relief that Bly basically prevented tomorrow's Cake Cream Show.

Mike and Andy chatted about possibly becoming a Duet, just Mike singing the songs and Andy playing Keyboard. Axl the secondary Singer of Cake Cream could become lead Singer of Cake Cream and Billy could play drums, James could play Lead Guitar, and Jimmy could play Rhythm/Bass Guitar.

Mike answered on Social Media that there would be a Cake Cream Show after all tomorrow. The Fans were delighted.

Axl immediately called Mike and said,"What FUCK, Mike? Why'd you tell the Fans there would be a Cake Cream Show tomorrow?"

Mike told Axl Andy and his plan.

Axl said,"You guys want to split up Cake Cream? Are you guys out of your FUCKING minds? "

Mike said,"Let's face it, you and Andy shouldn't be around each other right now and Fans will still get to see Cake Cream perform, just in different capacities. "

Axl said,"Splitting up Cake Cream is a HUGE risk."

Mike said,"It's the right thing to do."

Axl said," But you know, I am sole owner of the Cake Cream name, rights, songs, copyright, royalties. If I say no, you and Andy do not get to become a Duet and are forced to only perform with Cake Cream in its usual capacity."

Mike said,"Please say yes. You and Andy shouldn't be around each other now. "

Axl said, "Meet me at my Lawyer's Firm in about two hours and we can make a new Contract that states that you and Andy are going to be a Duet."

Mike smiled and agreed. Axl and Mike chatted for a while and then said their goodbyes and hung up.

Jimmy and James got up and Axl told Billy, Jimmy, and James that he was going to his Lawyer's law firm. They immediately said they were going with him.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Axl screamed inhumanly.

Jimmy, James, and Billy pondered why he reacted in that beyond weird way.

Axl said,"I just want to go alone."

James, Jimmy, and Billy said,"We're still going with you "

Axl said,"Changed my mind. I'm going to go to Walmart and do some shopping."

James, Billy, and Jimmy said,"We're going to Walmart with you!"

Axl said,"Leave me alone, I clearly want to go out by myself!"

James, Jimmy, and Billy said,"We want to go with you!"

Axl said,"I'm going to go meet Mike at the Law Firm!"

James, Jimmy, and Billy wondered why Axl was going to go meet Mike at the Law Firm.

Axl made a lie on the top of his head and claimed that there was unfinished business from the Mike Smith Vs Rebecca Martin case and only Axl and Mike could be there alone in the Law Firm.

Jimmy said,"But you're no longer Mike's Lawyer, Axl. James and Billy backed up Jimmy.

Axl got tired of the third degree and said,"I'm out of here!" He put on his bulletproof vest and motorcycle helmet and went to the Law Firm.

Mike came about three minutes later. Mike and Axl chatted and spoke to Axl's Lawyer and Axl provided the Contract stating that he was sole owner of the Cake Cream name, rights, royalties, copyrights, and songs.

Axl's Lawyer said that although the Contract stated that Axl was sole owner of the Cake Cream name, rights, royalties, copyrights, and songs, he should REALLY get all six Members to agree in writing to split off Cake Cream into being Andy and Mike and Billy, himself, James, and Jimmy.

Axl and Mike chatted about getting all six Members of Cake Cream to sign that Contract. Axl, Mike, and Axl's Lawyer all chatted for a while and then Mike and Axl left Axl's Lawyer's Law Firm. They pondered about what to do..

[pinchingyourballs]

The next day, Axl, Billy, James, and Jimmy got up and ate Corn Pops cereal. They drank orange juice and water. They chatted for a while. Jimmy and James went back to sleep.

Meanwhile, Mike and Andy got up and ate bagels with cream cheese and lox. They drank lemonade and water.

Nice. Since Mike is secretly attracted to fruit, it's good that you didn't make him eat anything he might want to fuck later.

[MisterV]

While pondering, a dog shit on Axl's boot.

"Fucking mangy cur" snarled the incensed doppelganger; he pulled out his Glock and blasted the hound into doggie heaven.

"I'm outa here:" and with two twitches of his nose he disappeared, much like Samantha in "Bewitched."

He'd transported himself to Elon Musk's bedroom, surprising the hell out of the zillionaire who was in the process of being peed on by black woman of Jamaican heritage.

"Oh, hello again Axl" said Elon with a trace of a South African accent, "care to join us? For the usual fee, I suppose?"

Axl smiled and without further ado he dropped trou and then dropped a smelly deuce on the pale male.

"Whoa" said the Nubian with a now-empty bladder, "You ever go to Church's Chicken?"

"Yes, and I believe I've seen your work."

The three agreed to repeat their performance tomorrow at Church's: "Be there or be square" they all said simulataneously, this causing uproarious laughter syncopated with loud blasts of gas.

[MisterV]

Uh-oh...Mike and bagels go way back.

He fucked his first one while studying the Talmud at yeshiva: all that "god talk" really stirred his loins.

Lubed with cream cheese they almost beat melons...almost.



*porn pic:NSFW*

[pinchingyourballs]

Oh man that Mike is quite a character. I thought Axl was bad with all his farting and pretending to be a lawyer, but Mike and his sick food fetish is even worse. I cant believe Andy got a thing for him. Andy, girl, you need to run for the hills from this one. Tasha, why you tryna force a love story on Andy with this sick pervert Mike who fucks bagels and donuts and fruit?

[Tasha]

Oh man that Mike is quite a character. I thought Axl was bad with all his farting and pretending to be a lawyer, but Mike and his sick food fetish is even worse. I cant believe Andy got a thing for him. Andy, girl, you need to run for the hills from this one. Tasha, why you tryna force a love story on Andy with this sick pervert Mike who fucks bagels and donuts and fruit?

I didn't say that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. YOU are the one who said that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. And Mr. V went along with it.

[pinchingyourballs]

Oh man that Mike is quite a character. I thought Axl was bad with all his farting and pretending to be a lawyer, but Mike and his sick food fetish is even worse. I cant believe Andy got a thing for him. Andy, girl, you need to run for the hills from this one. Tasha, why you tryna force a love story on Andy with this sick pervert Mike who fucks bagels and donuts and fruit?

I didn't say that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. YOU are the one who said that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. And Mr. V went along with it.

Where are you going with the Andy-Mike thing? Half the members of Cake cream are already gay, you're going to make it a majority? Gay romance is a legit genre, just surprised that someone who writes in this genre (you) also pretends to be asexual.

[Tasha]

Oh man that Mike is quite a character. I thought Axl was bad with all his farting and pretending to be a lawyer, but Mike and his sick food fetish is even worse. I cant believe Andy got a thing for him. Andy, girl, you need to run for the hills from this one. Tasha, why you tryna force a love story on Andy with this sick pervert Mike who fucks bagels and donuts and fruit?

I didn't say that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. YOU are the one who said that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. And Mr. V went along with it.

Where are you going with the Andy-Mike thing? Half the members of Cake cream are already gay, you're going to make it a majority? Gay romance is a legit genre, just surprised that someone who writes in this genre (you) also pretends to be asexual.

I am giving Mike more read time so to speak because I realized Mike doesn't really DO anything important He's usually in the background despite being the LEAD SINGER of Cake Cream. I would say stuff like," Andy and Axl had a bitter conversation about Andy stealing money from Cake Cream and trying to sell out Axl. Mike said, "Andy, you shouldn't have done that." Mike was the Character I wrote the least about and I actually wrote something like,"Mike doesn't have a lot of stage presence despite being the Lead Singer of Cake Cream. Truth is, I just got lazy with the Mike character until a little while ago where I make Mike a much more focused character like the Mike Smith Vs Rebecca Martin Chapters. And the Chapter where Axl realizes that Mike and he NEVER spent any alone time together and I gave him and Mike a Boy's day out chapter. I am now giving Mike and Andy focused Chapters.

Here are the Gay characters in Cake Cream. Axl, Andy, Billy.

Here are the Straight characters in Cake Cream. James, Jimmy, Mike.

[pinchingyourballs]

Here are the Gay characters in Cake Cream. Axl, Andy, Billy.

Here are the Straight characters in Cake Cream. James, Jimmy, Mike.

What instruments does each one play? Have you considered enriching your fan fic tale by making some original cover art for their various albums?

[MisterV]

Yes, that is our doing but it was done only in aid of energizing your moribund tale of doppelgangers and time travel, two ostensibly interesting themes which you rarely if ever come back to.

Usually your cast of musical misfits are eating, sleeping, putting on bullet proof vests and motorcycle helmets, kissing one another (EWWW...gross) and of course chilling in their luxurious penthouse suite.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

For the good of the order I suggest you erase the rest of what you wrote and simply follow our lead and write new pages along those lines.

Who knows...Random House might offer you a book deal.

Start your next chapter as follows:

"It was a dark and stormy night when Axl fell through the ancient wooden floor of the outhouse and discovered the true meaning of the phrase "up to your neck in shit."

[Tasha]

Yes, that is our doing but it was done only in aid of energizing your moribund tale of doppelgangers and time travel, two ostensibly interesting themes which you rarely if ever come back to.

Usually your cast of musical misfits are eating, sleeping, putting on bullet proof vests and motorcycle helmets, kissing one another (EWWW...gross) and of course chilling in their luxurious penthouse suite.

B-O-R-I-N-G.

For the good of the order I suggest you erase the rest of what you wrote and simply follow our lead and write new pages along those lines.

Who knows...Random House might offer you a book deal.

Start your next chapter as follows:

"It was a dark and stormy night when Axl fell through the ancient wooden floor of the outhouse and discovered the true meaning of the phrase "up to your neck in shit."

To be fair, there were pretty exciting Chapters such as Axl getting shot multiple times saving Billy from getting shot multiple times, James having sex with Allison, Jimmy's Girlfriend, Cake Cream and Axl nearly getting bombed, Billy's house burning down, Allison accusing Jimmy and James of rape, Mike being accused of sexual assault and being called a Rapist, the Mark Riley Saga, Andy stealing 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream, Andy trying to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000, etc.

[MisterV]

Hey, wait a minute...if Cake Cream is based on Guns 'n Roses, shouldn't Axl be lead singer and not Mike?

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

[Tasha]

Hey, wait a minute...if Cake Cream is based on Guns 'n Roses, shouldn't Axl be lead singer and not Mike?

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

No, Cake Cream ISN'T based on Guns N'Roses, in the first Fictional Axl Rose story, I heavily said that Cake Cream was the new Guns N'Roses, and at first in the Fictional Axl Rose sequel I also said that Cake Cream was the new Guns N'Roses, but I actually felt that they are the new Beatles and changed it to the new Beatles. I think that because Axl first saw Cake Cream doing the opening act for Guns N'Roses, he automatically assumed that Cake Cream was the new Guns N'Roses(I personally think that ANY Band that opened for Guns N'Roses Axl would have assumed were the new Guns N'Roses)but in actuality, Cake Cream doesn't really act like Guns N'Roses, they act more like The Beatles. Wild Water is actually the new Guns N'Roses, and I made Wild Water join Guns N'Roses and become Wild Guns.

[MisterV]

So...what exactly does Axl DO?

Sing?

Play, and if he plays, what instrument?

[Tasha]

So...what exactly does Axl DO?

Sing?

Play, and if he plays, what instrument?

Axl is the Lead Protagonist of my Fictional Axl Rose stories. He does MANY of the things in both of my Fictional Axl Rose stories. He's Cake Cream's Former Lawyer, he's their Power Of Attorney, their Manager, their Mentor, their Secondary Singer.

[MisterV]

He's their "secondary singer?"

Baloney.

Axl is the lead singer and lyricist for GnR: why mess with success?

Really, what could you possibly hope to gain or prove by altering reality so despicably?

Shame on you: they should deny you the ability to visit the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, and bar you from all Hard Rock casinos.

Sacrilege!