Time traveling Axl Rose from 1986, present-day old ass Axl Rose, members of a fictional band called Cake Cream, and Taylor Swift were hard at work in the recording studio making an album with an overarching theme of being bitten in the balls by scorpions. Little did they know, a strange misshapen man named Donathan Kentry was spying on them through a crack in the window. Donathan secretly recorded the footage, then called his contact at TMZ, one Chone Wilson.

"Chone have I got a scoop for you!" Donathan squealed in excitement. He tooted a hot eggy mess in his boxers. On the other end of the call he heard the tell-tale grunts and farts of a man on the toilet. Suddenly he heard a great splash and a sigh of relief.

Chone remarked, "Why you always gotta call me when I'm dropping a loaf?"

"Forget your bowels for a minute. I just secretly recorded a Swift-Rose collab in the studio. How much can you give me?" Donathan asked plaintively. He suddenly had to take a dump but he was in his car, a 1997 Hyundai Santamo. On the side walk outside he espied a woman waiting at the bus stop holding a hideous handbag made of royal purple velvet with lime green faux leather trim. I wonder if I could steal that ugly purse and take a dump in it, he mused. Certain professional gamblers who secretly read this thread began vigorously spanking their monkeys at the thought of a man pooping in a lady's purse. Just as Donathan was about to get out of the car to commit a misdemeanor, Chone gave him his answer.

"The best I can do is $855.25."

The low-ball figure enraged Donathan to the point where he no longer needed the handbag after all. "You can't even round it up to an even grand you cheapskate?"

Chone calmly explained "Mr. Kentry, 85525 is the 20th term of the Tribonacci sequence with initial values 1, 1, and 1. It's a very auspicious number. It's also a Harshad number, being divisible by the sum of its digits. At least we pay! You think Deux Moi or CDAN would give you more than a used Walmart gift card?"

Donathan accepted the offer and thanked Chone. Chone welcomed Donathan for the thanks. Donathan was now $855.25 richer than he was a minute ago and decided to celebrate by playing Bingo at the casino. As will come as a great shock to nobody, he didn't even bother to change his soiled pants. In due time, Donathan lost all his TMZ money and got booted for harassing other gamblers to play on his card. Certain professional gamblers who began masturbating in the middle of this story climaxed at the thought of getting trespassed. With sticky fingers they typed, "Stop making fun of Nathan you low life!"