Abby Garn had just finished two boxes of calzones when she felt the pain in her lower abdomen. Oh man, it was starting already. She wanted so badly to drop that deuce on the floor of Church's Chicken but would have to settle for the floor of the particle physics lab once again. She lifted the back of her labcoat and squatted to lay a perfectly cylindrical 3 foot long 2 inch wide anaconda of a turd. It's uniform brown color gleamed in the harsh fluorescent lights. Axl the axolotl espied it through his tank. The sight both amazed and terrified him. Tasha the forum troll espied it from behind the curtains and was suddenly very hungry. Abby the physicist espied it from where she stood. Then she began to feel faint, because laying a poop like that can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure. Abby gave in and passed out on the floor, thankfully not landing on the turd. Unconscious, but sleeping like a baby, Abby broke wind, sustaining the flow of gas for an amazing 6.480740698407860230965967436087996657705204307058 3465497113543978... seconds, which is pretty long for a fart if you think about it.

The lab's phone rang. With Tasha the only conscious person around to answer it, she emerged from behind the curtain and picked it up. "Yo, who dis?" She barked.

"Dis be DaKwan da janitor. I lost my key. Let me in foo."

"Why I let you in? They be sensitive expensive lab equipment an shit in dis lab."

"Na bitch, every night at this time Dr. Garn pass out after she dooky on da floor. I gots to clean it up or my boss be all up in my shit."

Tasha looked at Abby passed out on the floor and the amazing dooky resting peacefully beside her. Like two little angels, she mused.

"Aight Ima let you in."