Tasha emailed her boss at Walgreens, writing "Latecia: Hey girl. I be gone for a bit, sorry 'bout short notice, but I am off lookin' fo' love. Stay strong...,"
She didn't PM Mister V., given his earlier hostility; she'd rely on her Love Potion Number 9 to lure, trap and snare the elusive shyster.
Boarding the bus she instinctively sat in the back and started gnawing on some chicken while reading "How to Win at Bingo."
Thus enthralled she didn't notice when a burly white guy sat nearby.
Time passed, and with it she passed gas...a lot of gas.
Her farts were both tuneful and tasteful, causing the white guy to respond in kind, tone for tone: their eyes met and they blushed shyly.
Soon they were farting out a rousing rendition of the famed banjo riff from "Deliverance."
"Hi, my name is Adolph" said the man as he picked his nose and flicked the booger on the floor; he extended his hand, she shook it, and after wiping her hand off on her hideous handbag she introduced herself.
They chatted as the tube filled with animated, sentient meat motored across this vast continent, each amazed at how relaxed they felt in one another's company; by the time they reached the continental divide all thoughts of Mister V. had been banished from her mind: she now set her cap on nabbing Adolph.
As fate would have it, Adolph was a degenerate Bingo player who had heard that there was great success to be had playing at the Chinook Winds Casino on the Oregon coast; "I'm heading there to make my fame and fortune."
Tasha made a bold play and lied: "Wow, so am I. What a coincidence."
They chatted amiably until night fell; she allowed Adolph to kiss her, then fondle her breast: it was a new sensation for Tasha and she tingled.
The bus deposited them in Portland; they hitch hiked to Lincoln City, planning to beat the savages at their own Bingo game, hope and greed blinding them as is often the case with people of their ilk.
While walking through the casino Tasha espied a tall white man in a maroon flaming dice shirt: it was Mister V, playing Red, White and Blue in the high limit room, the one with an image of a moving whale at its entrance.
Just as Mister V. selected his $200 bet denomination Tasha approached from behind; she planned to surprise him with a "Guess Who?" game but she tripped over a discarded banana peel and lunged forward, her hand hitting "PLAY."
Bells rang, lights flashed...JACKPOT!
A started Mister V. pushed the interloper away and said "What the fuck lady, are you drunk?"
Before she could answer the casino staff came by, examined the machine and said "Be right back."
Ten minutes later a group of suits came by holding a huge wad of cash...it was a $200K jackpot.
Mister V. smiled and turned to receive his winnings but was shocked when they counted it out and gave it to Tasha, saying "You hit the PLAY button, lady, so it is YOUR jackpot."
Enraged, Mister V. angrily pushed Tasha away from him, unaware that she'd wrapped her foot inside the stool: she careened over and screamed "My leg is broken!"
Adolph had been watching this and the sound of the snapping bone coupled to the sight of it jutting out of her leg triggered him; he smacked Mister V. upside the head and it was soon "Game on."
The two bulls quickly tired and glared at one another; it was then that Tasha got out her bottle of Love Potion Number Nine and doused the lips of each combatant with a few drops, thinking "I came this far, let's see what happens, what have I got to lose? I mean, Adoph is nice but hey, this is Mister V and he's a rich, handsome devil... Decisions, decisions."
All hell broke loose.
The instantly sex-crazed victims of witchcraft espied the nearest woman, Tasha, and without another word they stripped her and simultaneously mounted her, swtiching from hole to hole, orifice to orifice; the end result was that by the time the effects of the elixir wore off Tasha was a quaking mass of jelly, fading fast.
Her final thought was "Shit, I never got to play Bingo."
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