Professional Sportsbetting

[monet]

Integrity Sports now located in the Smart Money Thread.
Where we pick the picks with plenty of time for you to make a decision.
FOR FREE!
And we at Integrity will win and lose with you.
INTEGRITY!
Buckle Up.
Nobody at Integrity Sports Smart Money Thread will ever ask you for money.
If they do, they don't work for us.
Never Bet Responsibly is our motto.

‘Just because we’re down, and we’re fat, and we’re ugly, and we’re broke, doesn’t mean it’s over’

[monet]

We won over 2000 dollars yesterday.
We also moving lines with 3-hundred-dollar bets, lol.
STUPID.
Today's favorite pick is the Knights with the Puck Line.
But it's not nearly as good as yesterday's pick.
We also like the Hurricanes and the Jets.

[kewlJ]

Where do you play Monet? I thought you played Circa. Maybe whatever sportsbook, you find yourself that day?

I am asking because I find it shocking that $300 wagers move lines at a big sportsbook. Dont take that for me doubting you. I am not. I have no reason to. Just find it surprising. On the other hand, it is hockey. And it is hockey during football season as opposed to late spring when hockey and NBA are the only games. So maybe it doesn't take that much to move some lines. That sucks for you.

[monet]

Where do you play Monet? I thought you played Circa. Maybe whatever sportsbook, you find yourself that day?

I am asking because I find it shocking that $300 wagers move lines at a big sportsbook. Dont take that for me doubting you. I am not. I have no reason to. Just find it surprising. On the other hand, it is hockey. And it is hockey during football season as opposed to late spring when hockey and NBA are the only games. So maybe it doesn't take that much to move some lines. That sucks for you.

I usually don't shop.
I'm not that anal.
You can see my bets.
The lines moved.
Some casinos are like that.
I'm always moving Hockey Lines.
This line took 700 dollars to do that.
I moved a hockey line at Sams town with 900 once.
Usually, this happens when I bet as early as the book opens or the line just gets posted.
I would play Circa... if I wasn't so lazy.
Redietz getting mad right now!

[monet]

NHL lines are easy to move as nobody is betting hockey.
I'm always the guy betting the NHL in-between all the NBA, NFL and MLB 5-dollar bettors.
I never once heard a guy at the window betting hockey in over 20 years lol.
I can't tell you how many times I have bet the Jets and the guy at the window tells me the Jets lost.
And I'm like; this is the Winnipeg Jets, not the NY Jets you someabitch.
Understand that when you bet specific Puck Lines you are getting free juice.
You're basically getting coin flip or better situations, and they are giving you 3 for 2.
This is why parlays work and when you bet a 2 teamer you do not move the line, and they don't care.
They scoff at your parlay like everyone else.

[monet]

Today's favorite pick is the Knights with the Puck Line.
But it's not nearly as good as yesterday's pick.
We also like the Hurricanes and the Jets.

Welp, I won a Straight 300-dollar Puck Line bet at +145 on the Knights.
But I bet $596 on Parlays.
I lose $161 on the day.
Fucking Jackets.
I'll try to get them tomorrow with the Leafs on the Puck Line.

[monet]

How the Fuck is a Colt gonna beat a Lion?
Never gonna happen.
No way.
No how.

[The Boz]

How the Fuck is a Colt gonna beat a Lion?
Never gonna happen.
No way.
No how.

Stick to losing at Hockey fat fuck. Seems like too much breath and work for you to go place a bet.

[redietz]

How is a Colt going to beat a Lion?


(to the tune of Kenny Roger's "The Gambler"):

On a warm autumn evening,
On an Amtrak bound for Vegas
I met up with a gambler.
We were both too tired to sleep.

So we took turns a'starin'
Out the windows at the night sky,
'Til boredom overtook us
And he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made a life,"
Out of handicappin' football.
Knowin' who my teams would be
Before the lines came out.

So if you don't mind my sayin'
I can see you're out of winners.
I'll trade you that whiskey
For advice you'll never doubt.

So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he took my USA Today
And switched on the overhead light.

The night got deathly quiet,
And his face lost all expression.
"If you're gonna bet the teams," he said
You gotta learn to bet 'em right."

You gotta learn how to bet 'em.
Learn how to sweat 'em.
Learn when to scream and shout,
Learn when to sigh.

You never count your money,
'Til those blind men in the striped shirts
Decide the game is over,
And shoot that gun into the sky.

Every gambler knows,
That on any given Sunday,
The worst teams in the N-F-L
Can beat the league's elite.
But even seasoned pros
Wince on those rare occasions
That a flimsy yellow handkerchief
Spells vic'try or defeat.

There is one kind of loss
That's worse than all the others.
You have a four-point underdog
That trails by only three.
As time runs off the clock,
They kick the tying field goal,
And then lose by a touchdown
When the game goes to O-T.

A football isn't round
It takes some funny bounces.
No one can predict
Fumbles, flags, or injuries.
So don't go and bet your life
On any single game, boy,
Or you'll find out there are worse things
Than total bankruptcy.

You gotta know how to bet 'em.
Know how to sweat 'em.
Know when to scream and shout,
Know when to sigh.
You don't ever count your money
'Til those blind men in the striped shirts
Decide the game is over
And shoot that gun into the sky.

[monet]

Colts LOSE and Lions Cover.
Sharpies don't always win.
Power to the People and the Parlay Bettors!
I had the Jets Puck Line from the other day and the Lions -7.5.
Paid 4.2 to 1.
I bet 200 to win 840.
Will post ticket later.

[monet]

How is a Colt going to beat a Lion?


(to the tune of Kenny Roger's "The Gambler"):

On a warm autumn evening,
On an Amtrak bound for Vegas
I met up with a gambler.
We were both too tired to sleep.

So we took turns a'starin'
Out the windows at the night sky,
'Til boredom overtook us
And he began to speak.

He said, "Son, I've made a life,"
Out of handicappin' football.
Knowin' who my teams would be
Before the lines came out.

So if you don't mind my sayin'
I can see you're out of winners.
I'll trade you that whiskey
For advice you'll never doubt.

So I handed him my bottle
And he drank down my last swallow
Then he took my USA Today
And switched on the overhead light.

The night got deathly quiet,
And his face lost all expression.
"If you're gonna bet the teams," he said
You gotta learn to bet 'em right."

You gotta learn how to bet 'em.
Learn how to sweat 'em.
Learn when to scream and shout,
Learn when to sigh.

You never count your money,
'Til those blind men in the striped shirts
Decide the game is over,
And shoot that gun into the sky.

Every gambler knows,
That on any given Sunday,
The worst teams in the N-F-L
Can beat the league's elite.
But even seasoned pros
Wince on those rare occasions
That a flimsy yellow handkerchief
Spells vic'try or defeat.

There is one kind of loss
That's worse than all the others.
You have a four-point underdog
That trails by only three.
As time runs off the clock,
They kick the tying field goal,
And then lose by a touchdown
When the game goes to O-T.

A football isn't round
It takes some funny bounces.
No one can predict
Fumbles, flags, or injuries.
So don't go and bet your life
On any single game, boy,
Or you'll find out there are worse things
Than total bankruptcy.

You gotta know how to bet 'em.
Know how to sweat 'em.
Know when to scream and shout,
Know when to sigh.
You don't ever count your money
'Til those blind men in the striped shirts
Decide the game is over
And shoot that gun into the sky.

You need a rewrite.
Those words need a fixin.

[The Boz]

Colts LOSE and Lions Cover.
Sharpies don't always win.
Power to the People and the Parlay Bettors!
I had the Jets Puck Line from the other day and the Lions -7.5.
Paid 4.2 to 1.
I bet 200 to win 840.
Will post ticket later.

Until you post every ticket before the game you are running the oldest scam in the book. Only one guy has fallen for it so far and it certainly isn’t RED.

And you really need to find a local book so you don’t have to waddle your fat ass down Fremont to make a bet. They will book your parlays day and night and not sweat the action. Hell the creepy Wiz would book your bets but he knows you can’t be trusted to pay afterwards. Your rep as a scumball proceeds your fat ass.

[redietz]

Colts LOSE and Lions Cover.
Sharpies don't always win.
Power to the People and the Parlay Bettors!
I had the Jets Puck Line from the other day and the Lions -7.5.
Paid 4.2 to 1.
I bet 200 to win 840.
Will post ticket later.

I don't know about anybody named Sharpie, monet. But I couldn't bet the Colts with your money. There are a handful of NFL teams I couldn't bet with your money, today. I have no idea what the Colts are doing. A QB hasn't had a completion percentage like the Colt QB since Bobby Douglass.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bobby_Douglass

[monet]

Colts LOSE and Lions Cover.
Sharpies don't always win.
Power to the People and the Parlay Bettors!
I had the Jets Puck Line from the other day and the Lions -7.5.
Paid 4.2 to 1.
I bet 200 to win 840.
Will post ticket later.

I don't know about anybody named Sharpie, monet. But I couldn't bet the Colts with your money. There are a handful of NFL teams I couldn't bet with your money, today. I have no idea what the Colts are doing. A QB hasn't had a completion percentage like the Colt QB since Bobby Douglass.

I was referring to the Dan Druff NFL Thread as he said every sharpie in the world had the Colts today.
And that every sucker bet the Lions.
Oh well.
A Jet can't beat a Penguin and a Colt can never beat a Lion.
Parlay wins again and again and again.
4.2 to 1 on my Freaking Dough.
PAY ME!

[monet]

Just because we’re down, and we’re fat, and we’re ugly, and we’re broke, doesn’t mean it’s over!!

[The Boz]

Just because we’re down, and we’re fat, and we’re ugly, and we’re broke, doesn’t mean it’s over!!

Oh it’s over and everyone sees it but you. But occasionally those lottery tickets keep you in the game, you are basically Tasha on a slightly bigger scale.

Hopefully things turn around for you and you can actually save enough money to bet your picks straight for more than pocket change.

But hey, the books love you while Heart Attack Grill hates you for eating free weekly.

[redietz]

I eat there every time my friend Scott visits LV. I think we like to wallow in the tallow.

[coach belly]

I eat there every time my friend Scott visits LV. I think we like to wallow in the tallow.

Is it any good?

[redietz]

Well, it's about what you would expect. I ain't there for the salad. I try to limit myself to a single (as opposed to the double, triple, or quadruple bypass).

You get to wear scrubs to eat, you know, in case you keel over and need to go to the hospital. And yes, the LV Review Journal reported on someone who actually did have a heart attack in the restaurant...and died. And sick bastards that they are, they put those news clips on the taped TV broadcast in the restaurant.

On the plus side, if you don't finish your meal, the waitress spanks you. I was looking forward to that until a guy at the table next to ours got a spanking. It actually looks as if it hurts. Reminded me of my seventh grade English teacher with the old paddle with holes in it for better whacking. I finished my meal.

Bottom line (see what I did there?): Not cheap; decent burgers, pretty entertaining. They appear to have done away with the scale in the middle of the room where 350+ gets a free meal.

[MisterV]

They appear to have done away with the scale in the middle of the room where 350+ gets a free meal.

About this "free meal" business...

There's a lot of fatsos waddling through Sin City, many live there, and if the offer of free food isn't limited I could envision the place being a gathering place for the morbidly obese, all scamming for another daily 8000 calorie "gift."

Just as trenchermen spell "oh shit, not again" at AYCE buffets, so would a platoon of Sumo wrestlers affect the HAG's bottom line.

Surely this offer was subject to some limitations?