I've officially been BANNED from my local Casino! :O

[Tasha]

Hmm. I was REALLY tired when I made my latest post and fell asleep shortly afterwards. After waking up I realize what an awful idea my idea would be. The people would just report me to Casino Staff Members saying something like," This person came up to me and told me about your $300/600 Bingo and asked me to give her a $50 cut of whatever I win. It was incredibly weird. She gave me her phone number to Zelle her the $50. Here's her phone number. "

The Casino Staff Member would have said something like,"We actually banned this Woman for a year because we found out she was using old Bingo cards that already lost and using them again to win new Bingo games. Thank you for reporting her to us."

[Rob.Singer]

Hmm. I was REALLY tired when I made my latest post and fell asleep shortly afterwards. After waking up I realize what an awful idea my idea would be. The people would just report me to Casino Staff Members saying something like," This person came up to me and told me about your $300/600 Bingo and asked me to give her a $50 cut of whatever I win. It was incredibly weird. She gave me her phone number to Zelle her the $50. Here's her phone number. "

The Casino Staff Member would have said something like,"We actually banned this Woman for a year because we found out she was using old Bingo cards that already lost and using them again to win new Bingo games. Thank you for reporting her to us."

What an idiot....a complete waste of life.

[MisterV]

Hmm. I was REALLY tired when I made my latest post and fell asleep shortly afterwards.

Karen finished grooming her thatch with a lawn shears, adjusted the lighting and took several money shots with her phone.

She emailed the crotch shots to her "regulars" at WoV, having made sure to include a few close ups of all lthe scurrying crabs, thinking "Who doesn't like sea food?"

But then an overwhelming lassitude overtook her and she fell into the arms of Morpheus.

Karen next found herself rising from a strange casino chair and espied the legs of a dead slot tech under the now toppled machine she'd been playing.

"Huh?" thought the bewildered wannabe AP: "Where am I?"

From all around her came a chant: "You killed her. You killed her."

It was a casino filled with midgets and dwarves!

Karen was about to say something snarky but then she espied her short, stubby arms and realized "Holy shit, I and I is a midget too."

"How does I and I fine-ly gets to be a AP?"

One hellish dwarf spun three times and spit out "It's the Great and Powerful Wizard of Odds that you need to study under to become an AP" and then *POOF* he imploded.

A fat midget farted in satisfaction, then pointed and said "Follow the yellow brick road..."

Karen was determined to find this Wizard; she began to walk then squatted and laid a fine load of fully digested chicken legs, Oreos and Cheese Puffs on the shiny pathway.

Off on another grand adventure!

[Tasha]

Hmm. I was REALLY tired when I made my latest post and fell asleep shortly afterwards. After waking up I realize what an awful idea my idea would be. The people would just report me to Casino Staff Members saying something like," This person came up to me and told me about your $300/600 Bingo and asked me to give her a $50 cut of whatever I win. It was incredibly weird. She gave me her phone number to Zelle her the $50. Here's her phone number. "

The Casino Staff Member would have said something like,"We actually banned this Woman for a year because we found out she was using old Bingo cards that already lost and using them again to win new Bingo games. Thank you for reporting her to us."

What an idiot....a complete waste of life.

It was a stupid idea I had when sleep deprived and after getting some sleep I realized what an awful idea doing this REALLY would turn out to be.

[The Boz]

Won’t last but saved for posterity here. Them boys sure love reading about Karen over there.

[redietz]

Won’t last but saved for posterity here. Them boys sure love reading about Karen over there.

You missed your calling, man. That was inspired.

If you find a decent artist (I'm thinking Crumb-esque), you've got yourself a top-notch comic book. Probably sell half a million copies.

Yeah, Crumb would be perfect.

[MisterV]

If you find a decent artist (I'm thinking Crumb-esque), you've got yourself a top-notch comic book. Probably sell half a million copies. Yeah, Crumb would be perfect.

"Friday night in the Miami ghetto"

[pinchingyourballs]

It was a stupid idea I had when sleep deprived and after getting some sleep I realized what an awful idea doing this REALLY would turn out to be.

Does your Walgreens sell chamomile tea? Maybe you could steal, oops, I mean buy, a box and make a habit of drinking a cup at night to help you fall asleep so you don't get so sleep deprived and then post irresistible troll bait.

[MisterV]

This tale has been Garnabbified and may not be suitable for all audiences.

About 1 hour into her journey, Karen espied a scarecrow with crows resting on it. Thinking herself very clever, Karen said, "Some scarecrow you are!" and punctuated the insult with a rancid egg toot. The aroma lingered for 14 seconds before the the scarecrow retorted back, "I can think of 51 reasons why your mother should have had you vacuumed when you were a fetus."

Bewildered Karen looked hard at the scarecrow who was now pretending to be motionless. Then he whistled and eerie tune (Black Sabbath) and within 1:24 minutes Karen was swarmed by 245 mad crows pecking her eyes and ears. They continued that way for 4:26 minutes until the scarecrow, satisfied with his retribution, called them off.

"What was that for!?" Karen yelled at the straw filled man.

The scarecrow ignored her question and asked one of his own. "Are you headed to see the wizard? Untie me from my post and let me journey with you."

"After you just sicced a bunch of crows on me?" Karen asked.

"As you can see, I possess a very useful skill. One that might come in handy along the way. Also, I know the secret passcode to get into the emerald palace and I won't tell it to you unless you get me down."

Karen agreed with his logic and let him down. "Thanks," the scarecrow said. "The passcode is 679--1016--1449--1990."

"Dat be a long ass passcode. Who da fuck able to mem'rize dat?"

"It's easy if you know the sequence it originates from."

___________________________________

"We can drive in my Newell to the emerald palace," said the scarecrow.

"Does you really owns one o' dem Newells?"

The scarecrow farted manfully then admitted "No, I just say that to get chicks:" and with that he "got" asexual Karen, unleashing upon her the supposed fury of his 9 1/2 inch joy stick.

"Is 'dat all dere is to love?"

The asexual was deeply disappointed but then a scimitar wielding swarthy Arab on a camel charged at her screaming "Allah Akbar! Death to the Infidels!"

The freshly fucked casino cheat reached into her hideous handbag and before you could say "Rolex up the cooch" she stopped him in his tracks by hurling hundreds of stolen bingo cards.

It was only then that she saw the intruder was encased in metal; "Why is you in all 'dat metal?"

"As an AP and internet flamer I have many formidable enemies. Plus I save a lot on dry cleaning."

"You is an AP? 'Dat be what I and I wants to be, we is gwine to see de Wizard o' Odds."

Karen realized she'd found a possible BFF when he started singing "In days of old when knights were bold and toilets not invented; they laid their load upon the load and then they'd be contented."

The two, in harmony, dropped trou and left nasty, smelly "offerings" on the once pristine roadway, offerings which fully captivated the scarecrow who munched hungrily, thinking he'd landed in scarecrow heaven.

It was then that the threesome realized they were now a company; they shook hands, thanked each other then were welcomed.

So it began..

[Tasha]

It was a stupid idea I had when sleep deprived and after getting some sleep I realized what an awful idea doing this REALLY would turn out to be.

Does your Walgreens sell chamomile tea? Maybe you could steal, oops, I mean buy, a box and make a habit of drinking a cup at night to help you fall asleep so you don't get so sleep deprived and then post irresistible troll bait.

I am not a thief.

[MisterV]

I am not a thief.

Why not?

Lots of hourly workers figure out ways to steal from their employer and resell it.

You say you are not a thief but you are a beggar: not a lot of difference.

Focus on higher value, easily re-sellable items that you can remove without detection; don't take items from the sales floor as there are probably cameras; consider taking items from the rear storage / warehouse area.

Properly implemented, a Plan to Pilfer can yield well over a grand a month and just think how much fun you can have in the casino with that kind of money.

Look, you are jonesing to gamble but don't have the bucks to do so; I am throwing you a lifeline.

If you're bothered by ethics then don't think of it as stealing; think of it as repurposing, as reparations.

The good thing is that once you've mastered this art you can move on to employers with more valuable items to boost and resell.

You wanna be an AP?

Here's your shot at the brass ring.

The sky's the limit but only if you try.

[The Boz]

It was a stupid idea I had when sleep deprived and after getting some sleep I realized what an awful idea doing this REALLY would turn out to be.

Does your Walgreens sell chamomile tea? Maybe you could steal, oops, I mean buy, a box and make a habit of drinking a cup at night to help you fall asleep so you don't get so sleep deprived and then post irresistible troll bait.

I am not a thief.

You also denied for years all your socks and that you shit on the floors of chicken joints.

Why should anyone believe you when you are a proven liar?

[Tasha]

Does your Walgreens sell chamomile tea? Maybe you could steal, oops, I mean buy, a box and make a habit of drinking a cup at night to help you fall asleep so you don't get so sleep deprived and then post irresistible troll bait.

I am not a thief.

You also denied for years all your socks and that you shit on the floors of chicken joints.

Why should anyone believe you when you are a proven liar?

I never shit the floors at restaurant. ONE person started that joke and I am being harassed over something I NEVER did!

[MisterV]

I never shit the floors at restaurant. ONE person started that joke and I am being harassed over something I NEVER did!

You shitting the floor is much more likely than the slur promulgated by your 'savior," the hound, when he says KJ is a male prostitute living in the LV tunnels.

[Tasha]

Tomorrow is officially the deadline to appeal the Casino banning.

[Tasha]

The 30 day window to appeal the one year Casino banning has expired. And quite frankly, I was in no real rush to appeal it. I didn't REALLY care all that much about the Casino, just went PURELY for Bingo.

[MisterV]

Why didn't you appeal?

It would cost you nothing and who knows, maybe you'd have found a sympathetic ear and "won."

Next time a local casino bans you I suggest you appeal, or else you'll soon run out of local casinos that will let you play; you continue to violate their code of conduct so future bannings are inevitable.

Reach out to the hound for legal tips to help you win your future appeals: he thinks quite fondly of you and by his own report he's a very good attorney who milks casinos as if they were cows, so helping you should be a cinch for him.

[MDawg]

Well, what she did was getting booted for cause. What could she really say other than I'm sorry?

If I were advising her I would have advised a letter to the effect of "This is not a formal appeal, rather I am merely asking for leniency based on that I have been a lifelong customer and always obeyed the rules."

But, did she obey the rules? or is this the casino where she was re-using Bingo cards? And asking strangers to let her insert her player card? And now was sticking her player card into machines while players were not looking? Were all these offenses at the same casino, or different ones?

If there are multiple offenses on record, I'd view this as progressive punishment where the next step would be a lifetime ban. If she's committed other offenses at the same casino a one year ban isn't bad at all.

I'd have to know the complete history at this casino in order to even advise intelligently.

It all goes to prove that even in seemingly simple matters there is often no simple answer, and just listening to a client's woes takes up a lot of time. I am very good at appearing sympathetic and analyzing quickly and efficiently but it still takes up time.

[OppsIdidItAgain]

Reach out to the hound for legal tips to help you win your future appeals: he thinks quite fondly of you and by his own report he's a very good attorney who milks casinos as if they were cows, so helping you should be a cinch for him.

--->

Reach out to the hound for legal

---> The Ungrateful Heart.

https://anagram-solver.net/ReachXutt...l?partial=true

+

tips to help you win your future appeals: he thinks quite fondly of you and by his own report he's a very good attorney who milks casinos as if they were cows, so helping you should be a cinch for him.

---> Life at the South; or, "Uncle Tom's Cabin" As It Is: Being Narratives, Scenes, and Incidents in the Real "Life of the Lowly".

https://anagram-solver.net/tiXstohel...m?partial=true

Without the o's, and p's, respectively, for Portland, Oregon.

Or, to form Opp's, with 26 = (-1 + 27) characters as 1/(2 July), and 157 characters as {1 + [16^2 - (90 + 10)]} ---> 1/1961, respectively, for a total of 183 characters as the 183rd day of the year.

To fit the Universal Anagram Solver. Ha.


MisterV MisterV is offline
Diamond
MisterV's AvatarJoin Date
Aug 2017
Location
Stumptown
Posts
7,777

[OppsIdidItAgain]

Today, 01:38 PM#80
OppsIdidItAgain OppsIdidItAgain is online now
Gold
OppsIdidItAgain's AvatarJoin Date
May 2023
Posts
168