So, you'll never guess what happened on my flight back home after winning the Megabucks earlier this morning. Boy am I on an unprecedented streak of luck that may even rival Rob's!
First of all, since I won $1.5 million in the last 18 hours, I decided to treat the airline staff like "little people" and demanded to ride shotgun in the 747 on the way home. Why not? They were all envious of me and my fantastic wins and would do or believe anything I said anyways. Here is a picture of the cockpit.
So while we were just flying out of Las Vegas and over Utah, I noticed a UFO on the right hand side! Here's the proof!
Well, how often does someone see something like that AND get "undeniable" photographic proof? I ordered the pilot to follow that MOFO to get another picture to make sure I silenced any doubters.
Unfortunately, ET went home too fast and our plane couldn't keep up. All was not lost however, because a beautiful rainbow appeared. Proof below.
Hey...wasn't there something about rainbows and...Holy shit! What was that! It looked like a bona fide little person riding...what? Could it be? Not a Unicorn, no...and not a winged horse...OH MY! It was a Winged Unicorn! How rare is that? The odds of seeing one of these beauties was not quite as unlikely as hitting $50,000 twice and a $100,000 on 3 different video poker machines at 3 different casinos within a 1 week period after just 10 minutes of play, but I still considered myself lucky! It was flying too fast though, so please just accept my private and personal artist's rendition.
Well, it had to land eventually, and I finally caught up to the "little person" riding this fabled beast.
He was a tough little bugger though, in no way, shape or form like these "sissified blonde girly-men" I keep reading about. The crew was finally able to subdue him, but he wasn't going to give up his pot of gold unless we could guess his name. It turns out his name was "Robbie-Stiltskin" and once it was uttered, he had no choice but to lead us to:
Who needs casinos and video poker when there's gold lying around everywhere? I can do anything! I'm going to find out who really killed JFK next. What other secrets of the Universe can I uncover? Don't worry, I won't be like Rob...I'll share all my information and discoveries freely!Story to follow!
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