Nice. Since Mike is secretly attracted to fruit, it's good that you didn't make him eat anything he might want to fuck later.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
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Nice. Since Mike is secretly attracted to fruit, it's good that you didn't make him eat anything he might want to fuck later.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Uh-oh...Mike and bagels go way back.
He fucked his first one while studying the Talmud at yeshiva: all that "god talk" really stirred his loins.
Lubed with cream cheese they almost beat melons...almost.
*porn pic:NSFW*
Oh man that Mike is quite a character. I thought Axl was bad with all his farting and pretending to be a lawyer, but Mike and his sick food fetish is even worse. I cant believe Andy got a thing for him. Andy, girl, you need to run for the hills from this one. Tasha, why you tryna force a love story on Andy with this sick pervert Mike who fucks bagels and donuts and fruit?
I didn't say that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. YOU are the one who said that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. And Mr. V went along with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
Yes, that is our doing but it was done only in aid of energizing your moribund tale of doppelgangers and time travel, two ostensibly interesting themes which you rarely if ever come back to.
Usually your cast of musical misfits are eating, sleeping, putting on bullet proof vests and motorcycle helmets, kissing one another (EWWW...gross) and of course chilling in their luxurious penthouse suite.
B-O-R-I-N-G.
For the good of the order I suggest you erase the rest of what you wrote and simply follow our lead and write new pages along those lines.
Who knows...Random House might offer you a book deal.
Start your next chapter as follows:
"It was a dark and stormy night when Axl fell through the ancient wooden floor of the outhouse and discovered the true meaning of the phrase "up to your neck in shit."
Where are you going with the Andy-Mike thing? Half the members of Cake cream are already gay, you're going to make it a majority? Gay romance is a legit genre, just surprised that someone who writes in this genre (you) also pretends to be asexual.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaI didn't say that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. YOU are the one who said that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. And Mr. V went along with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
To be fair, there were pretty exciting Chapters such as Axl getting shot multiple times saving Billy from getting shot multiple times, James having sex with Allison, Jimmy's Girlfriend, Cake Cream and Axl nearly getting bombed, Billy's house burning down, Allison accusing Jimmy and James of rape, Mike being accused of sexual assault and being called a Rapist, the Mark Riley Saga, Andy stealing 1.6 Billion from Cake Cream, Andy trying to sell out Axl for $5,000/$1,000, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
I am giving Mike more read time so to speak because I realized Mike doesn't really DO anything important He's usually in the background despite being the LEAD SINGER of Cake Cream. I would say stuff like," Andy and Axl had a bitter conversation about Andy stealing money from Cake Cream and trying to sell out Axl. Mike said, "Andy, you shouldn't have done that." Mike was the Character I wrote the least about and I actually wrote something like,"Mike doesn't have a lot of stage presence despite being the Lead Singer of Cake Cream. Truth is, I just got lazy with the Mike character until a little while ago where I make Mike a much more focused character like the Mike Smith Vs Rebecca Martin Chapters. And the Chapter where Axl realizes that Mike and he NEVER spent any alone time together and I gave him and Mike a Boy's day out chapter. I am now giving Mike and Andy focused Chapters.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballsWhere are you going with the Andy-Mike thing? Half the members of Cake cream are already gay, you're going to make it a majority? Gay romance is a legit genre, just surprised that someone who writes in this genre (you) also pretends to be asexual.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaI didn't say that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. YOU are the one who said that Mike fucks bagels, donuts, and fruit. And Mr. V went along with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
Here are the Gay characters in Cake Cream. Axl, Andy, Billy.
Here are the Straight characters in Cake Cream. James, Jimmy, Mike.
:)
What instruments does each one play? Have you considered enriching your fan fic tale by making some original cover art for their various albums?Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Hey, wait a minute...if Cake Cream is based on Guns 'n Roses, shouldn't Axl be lead singer and not Mike?
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
No, Cake Cream ISN'T based on Guns N'Roses, in the first Fictional Axl Rose story, I heavily said that Cake Cream was the new Guns N'Roses, and at first in the Fictional Axl Rose sequel I also said that Cake Cream was the new Guns N'Roses, but I actually felt that they are the new Beatles and changed it to the new Beatles. I think that because Axl first saw Cake Cream doing the opening act for Guns N'Roses, he automatically assumed that Cake Cream was the new Guns N'Roses(I personally think that ANY Band that opened for Guns N'Roses Axl would have assumed were the new Guns N'Roses)but in actuality, Cake Cream doesn't really act like Guns N'Roses, they act more like The Beatles. Wild Water is actually the new Guns N'Roses, and I made Wild Water join Guns N'Roses and become Wild Guns. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
So...what exactly does Axl DO?
Sing?
Play, and if he plays, what instrument?
Axl is the Lead Protagonist of my Fictional Axl Rose stories. He does MANY of the things in both of my Fictional Axl Rose stories. He's Cake Cream's Former Lawyer, he's their Power Of Attorney, their Manager, their Mentor, their Secondary Singer. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
He's their "secondary singer?"
Baloney.
Axl is the lead singer and lyricist for GnR: why mess with success?
Really, what could you possibly hope to gain or prove by altering reality so despicably?
Shame on you: they should deny you the ability to visit the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, and bar you from all Hard Rock casinos.
Sacrilege!
Mike is the Lead Singer of Cake Cream and Axl is the Secondary/Backing Singer for Cake Cream. Nothing wrong with that. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Axl is backing vocals because he got throat cancer from fellating too many hobos. Okay, now that I've patched one of the holes in this story I would like a run down of each member's contribution. Who plays the electric violin? Don't tell me you don't have a violinist.
Here is the Cake Cream Band
Mike. Lead Singer
Axl. Secondary/Backing Singer
Billy. Drummer
Andy. Keyboardist
James. Lead Guitar
Jimmy. Rhythm Guitar/Bass Guitar.
:)
Karen, your big mistake in this saga was the creation of Cake Cream.
Axl should be playing in GnR, not a group of OCD pansies, queers and clueless dolts.
I've attempted to ameliorate the horror via introducing the reader to DQ strawberry blizzards but alas, I fear the damage has been done.
Your story is about as bad as it gets...truly dreadfull.
But hey, keep it up: we enjoy lampooning you and your excretory bit of creative writing.
Mike: VocalsQuote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Axl: Harmonica
Bill: Bongos
Andy: Accordion
James: Violin
Jimmy: Banjo
Cake Cream was ORIGINALLY supposed to be a ONE LINE THING LMAO! :D I originally planned to have Axl say something like,"Cake Cream is a good opening act for Guns N'Roses ," and then NEVER mention Cake Cream again! I decided to make Cake Cream costars in both stories to give Axl a Band to Mentor and manage in 2022. :) Originally, Axl was pretending to be someone named Michael Randall Johnson. So him suddenly being in Guns N'Roses would seem weird.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Axl decided to Mentor the up and coming Cake Cream who he believed at the time were the new Guns N'Roses. Soon, Jimmy inadvertently revealed "Michael Randall Johnson," to be Axl when he lifted up Axl's sleeve while he slept at a Cake Cream part and exposed Axl's Appetite For Destruction Album Cross Tattoo (I had THREE ways I would have Axl get exposed at the Cake Cream party.
First way. Have Cake Cream drug his drink and make him fall asleep and then lift up his sleeve and expose the Tattoo while he slept. CREEPY. Second way. Have Axl be fully awake and have Cake Cream FIGHT the sleeve up against his will. CREEPY. Third way. Have Axl fall asleep on his own and have Jimmy lift up his sleeve and expose his Tattoo. The best way to do it.
Guns N'Roses is already well established in the world, I felt that Axl should bring up Cake Cream as a Famous Band too. Cake Cream is purely AXL'S Band and he doesn't have to share the credit with anyone else. :) ;) , In a nutshell, Cake Cream is Axl Rose's Band, not a Guns N'Roses Protege. Axl himself pointed out that he gets the sole credit for Cake Cream and doesn't have to share it with Guns N'Roses. :)
But Axl is only the secondary singer!
How then is it that a back up singer gets to call it "his" band?
You don't see that kind of shit in the real world.
Time to face the truth: this tale spun out of control long ago and can never be reined in.
Keep it up.
Cake Cream is Axl's Band because he is Cake Cream's Manager and Mentor. He just happens to be the Secondary Singer. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
In your world "manager and mentor=owner of the band?"
Strange world.
BTW...the real Axl has been known to be a bully and an asshole.
It seems you're attracted to guys like that, present company included.
Hell, he sued over the now infamous "Fat Axl" memes: wonder what he'll do to YOU for having your Axl suck cocks, take it up the ass and sing with a lispy falsetto?
Better lawyer up...
Cake Cream is Axl's Band. He OWNS Cake Cream. He bought Cake Cream Band for 500 Million. He bought the Cake Cream name, rights, royalties, copyright, songs. :) He's the CEO of Cake Cream. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Who did he buy it from, the tooth fairy?
He bought Cake Cream from Cake Cream. Cake Cream sold him the rights, royalties, songs, name, and copyright for 100 Million each. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Axl also bought the name and rights to Abby Garn's Laboratory of Horrors for a cool $300 million. After he secretly put an audio and video recording device on Mike during his little trips, Axl discovered the fruit people and decided he could make a lot more money off the fruit people than what Abby was doing, running a brothel of sorts.
Stupid move: five hundred million bucks would have bought him quite a few DQ strawberry blizzards.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaHe bought Cake Cream from Cake Cream. Cake Cream sold him the rights, royalties, songs, name, and copyright for 100 Million each. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
After purchasing the rights to Abby Garn's Lab of Horrors, Axl demoted Abby from Madame to lab tech. There would be no more brothel activities. Now, the focus was on creating the ultimate fruit-hobo hybrid that was capable of shitting out DQ strawberry blizzard goo. Abby's trio of pet citrus people were put to to work as her assistants. No more sitting on their asses playing checkers or chess or whatever.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Abby was due to give Axl an update on her progress creating hybrids of strawberries and hobos harvested from Alaska who were capable of surviving freezing temperatures. Her first speciman was a giant strawberry with four human arms and two human legs and 1024 eyeballs all over its shiny red body. Axl peered deeply into one of its eyes. The his delight, the irises were pineapple rings!
"Beautiful work Abby, now what happens if we feed this fucker a quart of heavy cream and cup of sugar? The answer better be shitting out a DQ strawberry blizzard into the empty cup I'm holding," Axl barked.
"The answer is actually nothing, Axl, because he doesn't have a mouth." Abby replied matter of factly.
"God dammit woman, if you don't get the next one right I'm gonna make myself a tangerine-lemon-lime smoothie!"
Abby frowned and turned back to her lab. Threatening her citrus dudes was the last straw. She would give him a blizzard alright. A cyanide blizzard. Abby set down to work on her best creation yet...
I do not get why your Fictional Axl Rose and Cake Cream constantly eat DQ strawberry blizzards. :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterVStupid move: five hundred million bucks would have bought him quite a few DQ strawberry blizzards.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaHe bought Cake Cream from Cake Cream. Cake Cream sold him the rights, royalties, songs, name, and copyright for 100 Million each. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
The regular consumption of DQ strawberry blizzards has been clinically proven to inhibit the growth of brain worms: you know, like RFK had / has.
This scrumptious concoction is like a Cake Cream insurance poicy: Axl originally came from a place and time where brain worms ran amuck: that's why he fled to a different worm-free time and place.
He's trying to Save the World, actually...from brain worms.
But hey, I'm sure you know that: it's YOUR fiction story, you wrote it.
Mike and Axl chatted for a while. Axl decided to call Billy, James, Andy, and Jimmy to the Law Firm to get them to sign. Mike was onboard with this.
Axl called all of them and told them all four of them needed to go to the law firm. They all agreed to come.
The Lawyer, Mike, and Axl all chatted about the possible splitting up Cake Cream.
About 30 minutes later, Andy, James, Jimmy, and Billy were all in the law firm. Axl told them the dilemma that Mike and Andy wanted to become a Singer and Keyboard duet and wanted Axl, James, Jimmy, and Billy to become a Singer, two guitarist, a drummer.
Andy and Mike backed up Axl.
James said,"WHY would you want to split the Band up this way?
Axl, Mike and Andy all looked at each other awkwardly.
Billy, James, and Jimmy immediately noticed the awkward look and questioned it.
James straight up asked Mike and Andy if they were dating.
Billy and Jimmy wanted to know too. Andy, Mike, and Axl all said that Andy and Mike weren't dating.
James said,"Okay. Hmm. Splitting it up 2/6 might be a bad idea, why don't we make it an EVEN split? Why don't I join Andy and Mike as Lead Guitarist and Jimmy, Axl, and Billy can be Singer, Rhythm Guitarist, and Drummer?"
Axl, Jimmy, Billy, Andy, and Mike all decided this wasn't a bad idea. Only ANDY and AXL should be kept away from each other, not anyone else, so an equal split might just be a good idea.
All of them drew up a Contract with Axl's Lawyer stating that they would do an equal Cake Cream split. All six read, understood, agreed, and signed. They thanked Axl's Lawyer and he welcomed them. After a little while, they all left. Axl suggested that James, Jimmy, Billy and himself go to Denny's and Mike and Andy go to Red Lobster.
Billy, James, and Jimmy immediately wondered why Axl would suggest that , but Mike and Andy knew exactly.
Mike and Andy immediately said simultaneously,"That's a good idea!" And said their goodbyes to Billy, Axl, James, and Jimmy and made a beeline to Red Lobster.
Billy, James, Jimmy, and Axl went to Denny's.
At Denny's, Billy ordered the Grand Slam, Axl ordered the Tbone meal, Jimmy ordered the Moons Over My Hammy, and James ordered the Meat Lovers Skillet. They all ordered orange juice and water.
As they waited for their food, Billy mentioned how weird it was that Andy and Mike were spending so much time alone together.
Axl casually said,"Well, Andy and Mike are good Friends and lots of good Friends hang out together. Let's just enjoy our Denny's meal, just the four of us."
James said,"You know, Billy's right. It does seem kind of weird that Andy and Mike are suddenly so interested in being alone together.
Jimmy said,"I also find this suspicious."
Axl, knowing that Andy had a crush on him, knew he couldn't just tell any of them about Andy's crush on him, especially not Billy, who was Axl's Boyfriend and Andy's Best Friend.
Axl said,"I really don't want to talk about Andy and Mike right now. Let's just enjoy our Denny's meal, just the four of us."
Jimmy asked,"Axl, what's going on between Andy and Mike?"
Axl said,"Nothing's going on between Andy and Mike, just close Friendship."
Billy straight up asked Axl if Andy was Mike's Boyfriend.
Axl had a look of panic, but then quickly changed his face into a more casual expression. Axl said,"Andy thinks of all five of us as Brothers, he doesn't want to date any of us."
Billy, James, and Jimny all noticed the panicked face and pointed it out to Axl.
Axl said," Andy and Mike just want to spend more time alone, make their Friendship even better. Let's please just drop this and eat and drink. Besides, you James, will get to spend more time with Andy and Mike at the split Cake Cream Shows as their Lead Guitarist.
James smiled at this. Axl, Billy, and Jimmy smiled too.
Jimmy, James, Axl, and Billy's food and drinks arrived and they ate in casual, relaxed moods, enjoying it They decided to order Dessert. James and Jimmy ordered the lava cookie skillet, Billy and Axl ordered the Brownie Sundae. They all ordered chocolate milkshakes. They ate their desserts and drank their milkshakes, enjoying it all.
Meanwhile at Red Lobster, Mike ordered the Admiral's Feast and Andy ordered the Steak And Turf. They ordered Coke and water. The water came soon and they ate free cheddar bay biscuits. Melissa was off today.
Mike asked Andy if he was ever going to tell Billy about his crush on Axl.
Andy shook his head and said,"I can't tell my Best Friend that I'm in love with his Boyfriend. That will be beyond awkward."
Mike said,"I see your point, but you probably shouldn't keep this a secret from Billy forever. " Andy shook his head again.
Their food arrived, and they ate and drank and chatted about Andy's crush on Axl. They enjoyed their meals. They decided to order Dessert and Andy ordered the Chocolate Wave and Mike ordered the Brownie Royale. They enjoyed their desserts.
Meanwhile at Denny's they all paid and left. They went to their Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They fell asleep after all their meals.
At Red Lobster, soon Andy and Mike paid and left too.
Andy and Mike went back to their Luxurious Penthouse Suite. They too fell asleep after their meals.
Tasha, all this reads like the minutes of a school board meeting. Where's the action????
Mike let out a loud fart of satisfaction and asked Andy "What is it about Axl that you find so attractive? I mean, the guy is 62 years old, flabby, out of shape, borderline ugly and his voice has gone to shit. What gives?"
Andy smiled coquettishly, belched profoundly, and said "I'll tell ya. Remember the time we went skinny dipping in the infinity pool of our luxurious penthouse suite? I finally espied Axl's johnson and boy howdy did it catch my eye. Nine and a half inches by my eye, and mine is a well-practiced eye."
Mike self-consciously touched his meat: oops...not much there.
"But Andy, it ain't the meat, it's the motion."
"Bullshit Mike, and you know it. Ain't nothing better than choking down a throbbing love missile, or getting your ass reamed by a python."
Mike was nonplussed: he knew he could never "measure up" so he said "Fine. I am outa here.
So, he left in a huff. I mean, in an Uber.
Andy stared out at the fluffy clouds and stroking his turgid member he dreamed of that which he could never have...
Uh, Andy has a crush on YOUNG Axl, the 25 year old Axl, not the Older Axl who is 60 in 2022. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Maybe in YOUR fiction: but not in mine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
"What is Reality?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A5DftXzIqs
Tasha Kentry was sweating bullets at her slot machine when she espied on the ground, partially underneath an out of order slot machine, a wallet. She blinked several times to make sure she was seeing a real wallet and not a mirage borne of desperation. She had after all just wagered and lost two weeks' worth of pay. Yes, it was a wallet. Dark blue with a reddish floral pattern, it nearly blended in to the hideous carpeting. She wiped her damp brow with a brown Burger King napkin. She kept several in her hideous handbag just for such occasions. Tasha knew she had to act fast or the opportunity would evaporate, just like her pay.
She got her card out of the slot machine and casually sauntered over to the out of order machine. Deftly, she faked tripping over her shoelaces and then bent down to untie and tie them right next to the wallet. Her hand bag was strategically placed on top of it. As she bent over, her butt cheeks let loose a 3 second long squeaker. Uh oh, too loud, she mused. She prayed to Vishnu it wouldn't draw attention to her little ruse. She thought of squatting instead of bending, but the last time she did that to pick up a lost wallet in Church's Chicken, something unspeakable happened. No, much safer to bend at the waist.
As she finished fiddling with her laces she slyly slipped the wallet into her handbag and got up. The sudden flow of blood away from her head made her feel a bit dizzy and for a moment and she thought she saw casino security walking toward her. Couldn't be, she mused, my little ploy was air tight. Far more air tight than my butt at any rate. Unfortunately for Tasha the vision was as real as the cabbage stench she left behind at the out of order slot machine. She put on her sunglasses, branded with the logo of a different casino, and made her way toward the exits. She was only yards away when she felt the dreaded tap on her shoulder and the bone chilling "Excuse me ma'am!"
She turned around to face a grim security dude with a bored look on her face. Just as he delivered the canned lines he had recited hundreds of times before, something miraculous happened.
Another patron had ripped off his clothes and was screaming. With blood curdling primal shrieks, he jumped from the tops of the slot machines like a bizarro world Tarzan. Judging from the state of his twig and berries and bald head, Tasha guessed his age around 70, though his spry leaping and shrieking was that of a much younger man. All casino personnel, including the man who was confronting Tasha, were now focused on restraining the man. Tasha thanked Vishnu for the second chance and bolted out of there.
She ran and ran until got to the bus bench just as the bus was pulling to a stop. It wasn't her bus, but she didn't care. She got on and once safely ensconced in her seat she took the troublesome wallet out of her handbag and observed it more carefully. It was engraved with the monogram KJ and it was much lighter and thinner than she expected. In the dim light of the casino it looked like textured leather, but now on the bus it was clearly made of some type of coarse fabric, cheap and disappointing. Upon opening it Tasha was further disappointed. There were no credit cards, players club cards, gift cards, or crisp bills. There was only a $1 bill and a mysterious business card bearing the words "Hot Egg Farts" in raised lettering and nothing else.
Despite the trashy wallet it came from, the business card was classy and high-end. Tasha looked at the subtle off-white coloring, the tasteful thickness of it. Oh my god, it even had a watermark. She let the card fall as a swell of rage built up inside her.
Her ire soon dispersed while her internal gas level sky-rocketed to dangerous levels.
Try as she might she couldn't hold in the pressure: it erupted in a loud, thunder-like boom of flatulence and misty fecal spray which blew out the back of her pants and permeated the back of the bus to a redolent degree.
"What the fuck, lady" said a homeless guy across the aisle as he peered through the odiferous fog: "Get a fucking life woman."
Tasha Kentry blushed crimson and told the worthless motherfucker "I am so sorry, please forgive me: I thought I'd found my way out of the ghetto but I was wrong. I am doomed"
He accepted her apology; they shook hands but then she cried tears of woe.
"There there" said the bum as he changed seats to sit next to her, "Let me help you."
With that he stuck his greasy paw down the front of her XXL sweat pants and after finding her clit he massaged it just ... perfectly.
"What are you ...ohhhh...ooohhhhh..."
Two minutes later Tasha Kentry experienced the first orgasm she'd ever had in her 40-somethng years of existence.
"Who are you?"
"I go by many names, but "Hector" is my favorite. What's your name?"
She didn't hear him: a post-orgasmic cloud of joy infused her being.
"Hector, you wanna come home with me? You like Church's Chicken? You should meet my Mama, she's so mean these days, maybe you can make her happy and warm the way you did me."
"No thanks, this is my stop:" and with that he was up and gone.
Tasha Kentry cried a flood of new tears but then she had a profound realization: "Hey, why don't I do to myself what he did?"
She stuck her hand down below and after a bit of experimenting she quickly figured out what to do, so she did it over and over, grievously annoying the other passengers with her moans, screams, and loud, nasty sounding and smelling queefs.
Unbeknownst to Tasha Kentry, another bus rider had filmed the entire episode from "fart" to finish. When he arrived at his stop, Mike sprinted to the luxurious penthouse suite to show his bandmates the incredible video he had just captured. Axl watched the footage intently, taking notes. Billy and Andy gave each other reciprocal hand jobs while watching it. James and Jimmy declined to watch it, deciding instead to watch an episode of Bluey on their tablets while drinking Capri Sun. When the video finished, Axl declared it the most thought provoking film he had ever seen and encouraged Mike to submit it to the Cannes Film Festival. Mike blushed shyly, not sure if Axl really meant it. Billy and Andy agreed with Axl and agreed with each other's agreement. Mike thanked them all and was welcomed. Axl, Billy, and Andy thanked Mike for the thanks and shook hands. Jimmy and James laughed in their corner, but they were not laughing at Mike. They were laughing at something happening in Bluey.
Billy and ANDY wouldn't be giving each other handjobs, Billy and ANDY are Best Friends, not Boyfriends. Are you sure you weren't mixing up AXL with Andy? AXL is Billy's Boyfriend, not Andy. :confused:Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
In my Fictional Chone Wilson story anyone who is gay is free to give or receive a handjob from anyone else who is gay.
Pinch, the final chapter in Karen's tale, while not posted yet, can be easily predicted: by that time ALL the members of Cake Cream have turned gay and engage in non-stop fuck-a-thons and suck-a-thons, thanking and shaking each other's hand all the while.
Karen lacks the education and insight to see how she is projecting this due to her asexual life style; she has unrequited horniness and uses her keyboard as a vibrator.
Heck, in the Real World the closest thing she finds to sexual release / orgasm is dropping trou and letting fly at Church's Chicken.
Sad.
Erotica authors probably have dysfunctional romantic lives, but given how much Tasha lies and omits about everything else, I'm not sold on the official 'Karen is an asexual virgin' narrative. I think it's more like she gets booty calls but isn't able to land a steady partner who respects her and wants something long term.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
I've heard it's easier for women to become lesbians than for men to become gay. So I think Tasha should explore the possibility of a butch lesbian relationship.
BTW, whatever happened to Garnabby? I thought of a Cake Cream math problem for him.
Tasha-Kentry stepped off the city bus, wiped her tears away and walked into Church's Chicken.
"Oh Christ" said a pimply stooge behind the counter, "it's HER again. Go get the manager."
Before she could say "Extra crispy" the manager appeared and said "Get out, Tasha-kentry: we trespassed you after your last incident."
"But I want chicken. I need chicken. I WILL HAVE chicken!"
"Leave or I'll call the cops."
"Have it your way, but I'll leave a little something for y'all to remember me by."
And before he could say "Fuck me, not again" Tasha-Kentry dropped her sweats and unfurled a deuce for the ages: over a foot long and weighing at least three pounds and stinky...Ewwwww.
One of the many homeless men in the chicken shack clapped ecstatically then nodded out.
Upon leaving, Tasha-Kentry pulled out a can of spray paint from her hideous hand bag and bedecked the siding of Church's Chicken with artwork.
Later, at closing, the manager noted the graffiti-image of a fat ass letting fly a blast of gas and a loaf, and wondered "Why did I bother to go to community college?"
Chone Wilson's phone was set to alert him any time there was a chicken joint pooping incident in the greater Miami area. He, along with a covert group of pooping enthusiasts had been tracking the chicken joint pooper for quite sometime now. Dutifully the phone vibrated and Chone's heart rate sped up as he leapt from the toilet, no time to wipe. He knew everyone in his crew was stopping whatever they were doing at the moment and racing to their cars: Kentry, Donathan, Nathan, Karice, and Dean. Chone was the lone exception, for he had only a Schwinn bike, a shitty one at that. No matter. Brakes were for losers.
Cruising past the Hialeah Park Casino he caught a whiff of something chickeny and poopy. He checked the group chat and reported his findings. Chone suspected the other members of the group had another separate group chat that excluded him because they would often post weird inside jokes that only he didn't get. He often wondered if the others took their mission as seriously as he did, because whenever there was an incident it was always Chone who managed to find Tasha first. The group chat lit up with everyone else saying they were stuck in traffic and that it was up to Chone to find Tasha.
Suddenly it dawned on Chone that the other five were not in traffic nor even in their cars at all. They were all hanging out together right now without him. They were having a hearty laugh at his expense.
Karice Donathan was excited because tonight was the night she would be deflowered, she was sure of it. Her date was some dude she met on Tinder, a Dean Kentry. What a funny name, she mused, almost sounds like a fake name someone would use online. Dean picked her up from the apartment she shared with her mom, grandma, and two half brothers. They drove to the James L Knight Center to catch a Cock Cream concert. Cock Cream was Karice's favorite band, and Dean just so happened to be a cousin of Axl Fartner, the lead singer. Axl had a lot of cousins and was always giving them free tickets to help fill seats.
After the concert Karice and Dean headed to Popeyes for a romantic dinner. As they were enjoying thheeir 40 piece mega bucket, a hobo sauntered over to their table. He was hideous looking and smelling, and asked them for change. Karice was about to give the guy a few bucks when Dean stopped her. He said he knew a special trick to deter hobos. Dean then pulled his pants down and dropped a loaf by the hobo's feet. The stench made Karice and the hobo gag, but only one of them was smart enough to leave.
Karice suggested to Dean that they go to his place for a drink because she saw that on one of the TV shows her grandma watched. Dean then drove them to a part of Miami Karice had never seen before in person. Karice was in awe of all the mansions and well manicured lawns. She expreessed her admiration to Dean, who just laughed and said he didn't live here. They were going to burglarize one of them. You see, Dean had cased the neighborhood earlier that week and then used Tinder to find an accomplice.
Unbeknownst to the wannabe burglars the estate was the home of none other than the infamous Judge V.
You know Judge V: always packs at least one pistol and loves to use it; never met an man he wouldn't want to kill: yeah, that guy.
"Karice, I want you to take this brick and flashlight and go into the back yard; shine the flashlight on to yourself and throw the brick through the glass patio door while screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs. While the owner is distracted I'll pick the front door lock and sneak inside."
Karice blushed at the thought of being Bonnie with her sort-of Clyde; "Sounds more exciting than Bingo. Let's do it."
Upon hurling the brick and yelling in the back yard she noticed a window opened and a man appeared holding something when all of a sudden everything went dark.
Two weeks later Lashonda and Pippy, two Walgreens co-workers, were doing fentanyl in the ladies room when Pippy asked "Did you hear what happened to Karice? The stupid bitch got her dumb ass shot by that motherfucking Judge V. She's in a coma at the Charity hospital; I started a gofundme and got $1.67 so far."
"Yeah? Here's a dime."
"Thanks!"
They shook hands, bowed, farted tunefully and returned to work.
Just realized that Chone is an anagram of both Enoch and Cohen. Hey Tasha, what's the origin of the name "Chone?"
You mean other than being a city in Ecquador?
It also has something to do with sponges.
Whoa...Karen is beginning to show impressive breadth; hell, she just posted she made her very first sports bet and instead of betting on a garden variety event like baseball or the Olympics she bet on a Polish ping-pong player to win.
There may be more in her belfry than just bats...
Oh, speaking of ping-pong, check out Bruce Lee:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHe6vhexm6g
Now THAT is IMPRESSIVE.
I wouldn't bet Chone is based on third world geography or obscure flora or fauna. I'd put money on it being a typo when she was registering a sock puppet and she thought, hey, Chone is actually a pretty cool and unique name, let's roll with it. Only Tasha knows, and she ain't telling.
Karice Donathan awoke from her coma disoriented and discombobulated. She espied her grandma snoozing in a chair and a tiny vase of wilted dandelions on the night stand. The note on the card read, in nearly illegible handwriting: git wel sune karees. dis flouerz cost $2 but ur gofundme only razed $1.72 u o me 29 cents.
Karice was as bad at math as the scribe and she figured 3 pennies and a nickel would suffice for payment. But where to get such a sum on such short notice? Maybe grandma's purse? Karice leaned over the side of the bed and espied the old crone's extraordinarily hideous handbag -- far more hideous than her own -- and was about to reach into it when the old woman woke up.
"Karice! bout time you woke up. I gots a bingo game I need to get to. See ya!"
And with that the old woman let loose a rancid cabbage toot that only old ladies are capable of producing. As Karice was gagging on the fart smell, a memory was triggered: Popeyes, poop smell, gagging, a hot date, DEAN KENTRY.
"Wait grandma! How long was I out? What happened? Did Dean Kentry stop by?"
"Girl, you can read all about it in the news." Grandma hustled outta there.
Karice grabbed her phone and scrolled through the news feed until she found it. The headline read "Would-be Burglars Shot by Transgender Judge Vongvanichulalangkorn." The piece went on the praise Judge V as a trailblazer as the first Thai ladyboy to overcome his/her humble origins and get a law degree. It mentioned Dean Kentry and Karice. She skimmed further until she came upon the word "deceased." Dean did not make it.
Karice sighed. It seems she would not be deflowered by Dean after all.
Karice was clear-headed enough to send a text asking her internet lawyer friend, Bloodhound, to call her to discuss her situation.
As she waited she remembered how the smelly bum made her private parts feel so warm and tingly: she stuck her hand down below and went at it feverishly.
Nurse Betty walked in and seeing what the patient was doing she cleared her voice and said "I hope I'm not interrupting anything?"
Not used to the usual social constricts, Karice kept gouging her gash but responded "No, I'm just trying something a bum taught me at Church's Chicken. You should try it."
The nurse said "OK:" she too started flapping her flounder, and that is how Dr. Judy discovered the two of them.
"Really, ladies, this is a hospital: have you no respect?"
"Doctor, you really need to try it" said Karice: "a smelly bum showed me this trick recently and I really like it."
Overcome with depression about her unpaid med school loans long in default, Dr. Judy thought "Fuck me, why not?" as she too went at it.
The three women happened to time their orgasms simultaneously, but unbeknownst to them the hospital wide PA picked up their moans, shrieks and screams, causing the Director to ask a minion "What the fuck is that noise? I thought we closed down the insane asylum years ago.?"
Tasha was fuming. She had just received a book in the mail, sent in a non-descript envelope with no return address. The title was "Hot Summer Love Triangle: The Nathan and Kentry Chronicles." The cover showed a scantily clad woman in the arms of a generic romance novel hunk, but her head was turned away looking at another generic romance novel hunk. Tasha couldn't get over the blurb on the back:
Kentry is a black cowboy fighting to keep his ancestral home. His cousin Nathan is a city boy and professor of African Science fighting for tenure. Both men are entangled in an erotic triangle with the mysterious Karice, a traveling carnival psychic with a voracious appetite for funnel cake and one night stands. As summer heats up, Karice realizes she wants more than one night stands and nasty hookups under the kiddie carousel. But which man will she choose? Kentry, the muscular cowboy with a heart of gold but chronic flatulence? Nathan the nerdy professor who is the laughingstock of the university? Or will it be a third man, the equally mysterious Chone Wilson, a magician who makes Karice queef and fart uncontrollably just by looking at her?
"They stole my story!" Tasha screamed to her pet axolotl, Axl. Just exactly who "they" were was still a mystery. Even though the author byline on the cover said Julia Kewl in fancy raised lettering, even Tasha knew it was just a pen name. Deep down Tasha knew the story was good, and that hurt even more. The author blurb on the inside cover was even more ridiculous:
Julia Kewl is a former professional blackjack player turned romance novelist who lives in Nantucket with her three-legged teacup poodles Mdawg and Singer. When she's not knitting scarves for homeless people, she can be found metal detecting.
Metal detecting? God damn, why didn't I think of that, Tasha mused. All this time Tasha had been trying to scrounge up free money by getting people to play on her casino rewards card and looking for lost wallets. With a metal detector she could find rings and silver dollars, which she could then pawn for a money that would cover the Uber charge from her home to the casino, where she would then resume her low-level scamming.
Tasha passed through the gaping maw of the casino intent on scamming them.
"Oh go on, girl" she thought; "You has de mind of what's his name, the cotton gin guy and you are REAL gonna kick some motherfuckin' ass wit diis one."
The fecund female had prepped herself by consuming vast quantities of pepperoni pizza, baked beans and red cabbage: "Show time."
No dummy, Tasha knew that the casinos had cameras in all locations: The Eye in the Sky: but NOT in the site of her upcoming performance: the ladies room.
Her plan required that there be no witnesses at the time the ploy went down, so the nubile negress wandered to the furthest, empty one.
Stomach growling, she pulled down her faux designer sweats and dropped a plate-load of stinking poo.
"OK girl, you knows what you gots to do..." and with that she rubbed her foot in the poo then sat down on it and rolled a bit in it, sort of like a hog in slop...but I digress.
The black bunko artist then stayed down and waited for someone to come in.
Wouldn't ya know it?
In walks good old Judge V, wearing YSL and made up to the nines.
"Oh my, what happened to you...can you hear me?"
This was her "cue" to "regain consciousness:" "Where am i?"
"You're in the casino, dearie. Oh wait a minute, don't I know you? Sure I do! You're the bitch that stole my Rolex that time, remember? You stuck it up your cooch."
Uh-oh, busted.
She took the Rolex off her arm and handed it to Judge V who glowered menacingly at her; a frightening smile filling his visage while his nine and a half inch trouser snake came to life: might this be an opportunity?
As Tasha and Judge V were negotiating the payment and terms of a disgusting casino bathroom fuck, the ground shook and the walls of the stalls clanged and banged something fierce. Was it an earthquake? Had a hurricane appeared out of nowhere on that sunny Florida day? Suddenly the jurist jerk and the germy sojourner were propelled every so slightly upward as if they were in an elevator.
"Oh shit, I know what this is," Judge V said with resignation.
As the casino fell deeper and deeper into one of those famed Florida sinkholes, Tasha got an idea.
"Judge V, instead of spending my last moments on earth being deflowered by you, I want to go back to the floor and steal every last wallet I can grab out of the back pockets of all these goners! Let's see security backroom me this time!"
Judge V reluctantly agreed to help Tasha on her final quest. Though it was difficult running around a casino as it fell into the chasm, the did manage to collect six wallets, for a total of eleven players club cards and a cool $4356. Tasha tried to play a slot machine one last time, but there was no electricity.
It wasn't JUST a sink hole, it was an ALIEN INVASION!
Yes, it was the long-forecast inundation of undesirables from south of the border
Thousands of future landscapers, sheetrockers, maids and fast food workers had arrived by bus, paid for by the governor of Texas, and were all let out simultaneously at the casino's main entrance; thirsting for free beverages and hungry for free sugar packets they all stormed through the maw of the charnal-house intent on replenishment.
Their sudden combined weight caused the crust on top of the sink hole the casino was inadvertantly built over to crumble, leading to the casino sinking ever further into the limestone rich ground, picking up speed as quickly as Tasha picks up free play.
All thoughts of scamming the casino with the "I slipped in someone's shit and hurt myself, pay me" were cast into the discard bin.
"Judge V, this place is sinking as fast as WoV, what should we do?"
"Do what we always do: flame and insult one another and thus keep reality from the door."
"Wow, what an idea!"
She thanked him, they shook hands, farted a few bars from "When Johnny Comes Marching Home" and began keying in vicious attacks upon strangers while the casino descended faster and faster toward the fires of Hell.
MisterV, could you be so kind as to fill in a gap in my knowledge of VCT lore? Which poster was it who actually met Tasha in person in Miami? I'd like to work this into a chapter of my Fictional Chone Wilson Story.
I think it was Wziard of Nothing, but let's wait for Tasha to chime in with the facts...
Tasha?
Tasha ripped the page from her typewriter in frustration. Julia Kewl from Nantucket, her arch nemesis, was probably finishing up half a dozen cheap romance novels right now, meanwhile Tasha couldn't get the first chapter right. To calm herself down she logged on to VCT to browse various flame wars. She was stunned to see she had a PM for the first time in years. She clicked on it. It was from ***:
Dear Tasha, I will be in Miami for 3 days starting tomorrow. During that time I would like to deflower you and have you fart on my face for a minimum of two hours. I will pay you a sum of $2000 for your time. If these terms are agreeable to you, we can arrange to meet at the Barking Flamingo Casino.
Your admirer,
***
Tasha was stunned. As an asexual autistic virgin, she had no idea *** felt that way about her. *** was often dismissive of her, taking part in the ragging and dragging on many occasions. She quickly replied in the affirmative, and as a show of good faith, also included a pic of her gash. *** said thanks for the pic of her gash and Tasha welcomed him. Oh how she wished they could shake hands.
The next day she took an Uber to the Hialeah Park Casino and waited at the agreed upon meeting spot. She waited for hours, playing slots very slowly to bide her time while not blowing all her money at once. Finally, at 4 pm she gave up and left. Her Uber driver was a chatty fellow who asked her how much money she won. "Nothing." Tasha replied dejectedly. The driver told her to cheer up because everyone at the Barking Flamingo Casino had a much worse day: active shooter.
Suddenly it hit Tasha, she had waited at the wrong casino. "D'oh!" she exclaimed, just like Homer Simpson. The driver gave her a quizzical look but continued with his news summary. Apparently some out-of-towner had shot up the place before being killed by police. Tasha said nothing, but her heart raced. Could *** have been shot? Wait, could *** have been the gunman???
She logged on to VCT and sent *** a PM. She checked ***'s recent posting history, and nothing. The next day, there was still nothing. Months passed and it was as if *** had vanished. On VCT some posters mentioned how strange ***'s absence was, others mentioned the Barking Flamingo shooting, but nobody mentioned both things together. It took all of Tasha's will power to not join in these conversations.
All in all, Tasha was very grateful that her forgetfulness had saved her life on that fateful day. She vowed to be more forgetful and always get the details wrong.
Tasha decided that she needed a change so hoping against hope she texted a message then got on the city bus, sat down, and was soon joined by a swarthy man who hissed "What is so important?"
Her stomach growled from all the cheap Denny's breakfasts she'd been eating, then her bowels let loose with a brazen hussy.
Tasha told her handler "I need to get OUT. I need to get back to the Motherland."
Her handler Euginy Voskork hissed "You silly cow. You cannot go home ever again, or have you forgotten?"
She had forgetten.
But then she remembered and the memory eviscerated all hope as well as her sphincter.
Ten years ago while serving as a vestal virgin to Vladamir Putin Tasha had clumsily poured a tureen of hot soup on the Fearless Leader, leading to her permanent banishment as an agent in the West.
"We very much appreciate all the intelligence you provide us about Bingo, free play and of course creating socks. With your help we will soon have the Americans drinking from the water dishes of our Wolfhounds. Das Vedanya."
"And Das Vedanya to you, comrade."
They shook hands and farted Cyrilluc toots.
The next day, Axl, Billy, James, and Andy got up and had French Toast with butter and syrup and eggs. They drank orange juice and water. They all chatted about today's upcoming split Cake Cream Shows.
Meanwhile, Andy and Mike had Eggs Benedict and hash browns. They drank orange juice and water. They also chatted about today's upcoming split Cake Cream Shows.
James got ready for his side of the split. He went to Andy and Mike's new hotel. He knocked and was let in.
Andy, Mike, and James chatted about the split Cake Cream Show and practiced.
They all got ready and put on bulletproof vests and motorcycle helmets and went to the James L Knight Center and 4,000 Cake Cream Fans showed up! They were all happy. James played Guitar, Andy played Keyboard, and Mike sang the songs. They sounded good.
Fans cheered, but they were confused on where the hell were Axl, Billy, and Jimmy.
Andy, Billy, and James blushed shyly and said they decided to split Cake Cream into half.
Fans asked them WHY they split Cake Cream in half.
Andy, Mike, and James all looked at each other awkwardly. How would they answer that?
Fans noticed the awkward look between Andy, Mike, and James and questioned this.
Mike said,"We just wanted to try something new."
James said ,"Jimmy, Axl, and Billy are making a new Cake Cream Show in about two hours."
Andy said,"Let's just say, it's best that we split Cake Cream in half for now."
Fans begun to chant that they were NOT paying for TWO split Cake Cream Shows as they were fully expecting to pay for ONE COMPLETE Cake Cream Show today, NOT TWO split Cake Cream Shows.
Mike said that they would do buy one get one free tickets today for the Cake Cream Fans that were already there. The Fans thought this was a great compromise and all smiled. Mike told the Cake Cream Fans to all hold onto their tickets and he would have the James L Knight Center Staff validate the tickets as buy one get one free. Fans smiled even more.
Andy and James said to Mike in private that Mike didn't tell AXL this impulsive and impromptu buy one get one free ticket decision and Axl was the sole owner and sole Manager of the Cake Cream name, rights, copyright, royalties, and songs.
Mike acknowledged that Andy and James had a valid point and he called a mini break for the Show and the Cake Cream Fans were okay with this. Mike told James and Andy that he would Zelle Axl, Billy, and Jimmy there shares of the ticket prices. Andy and James were okay with this.
4,000 Fans at $25 a ticket was $100,000 and Mike divided this but three and Zelled Jimmy, Axl, and Billy just over $33,000 each.
Axl, Billy, and Jimmy were all confused on why Mike Zelled them just over $33,000 each. Mike responded,"Because that's what I owe you."
Axl, Billy, and Jimmy were still confused but Mike responded,"Just take the money, don't ask any more questions."
Of course, Billy, Axl, and Jimmy had LOTS of questions they wanted to ask Mike but Mike responded that the mini break at the split Cake Cream Show was about over and he, James, and Andy had to go back to work. Jimmy, Axl, and Billy decided to drop the matter for now and decided to let James, Andy, and Mike go back to work.
Mike thanked them all and was welcomed.
Mike, James, and Andy continued the Show and Fans cheered wildly. The Final Sendoff happened to even more wild cheering and then the split Cake Cream Show was soon over. Mike went to the James L Knight Center Staff and told them his impromptu decision for the Cake Cream Fans that showed up to the unexpected for the Fans split Cake Cream Show.
The James L Knight Center validated the buy one get one free tickets and Mike, Andy, and James thanked them about were welcomed.
Mike, James, and Andy went to Pizza Hut and had personal pan pizzas, bread sticks, and soda, all happily eating and chatting about today's show.
James, Andy, and Mike went back to Andy and Mike's new hotel room and chatted and chilled.
On Social Media, Cake Cream Fans who showed up to James, Andy, and Mike's split Cake Cream bragged that they were going to see Jimmy, Axl, and Billy's split Cake Cream Show for FREE.
On the News, it was reported that the Axl, Jimmy, and Billy's Split Cake Cream Show was sold out and no new Fans could get any tickets (The Cake Cream Fans for Andy, Mike, and James split Cake Cream Show all came back for Axl, Billy, and Jimmy's split Cake Cream Show and no other Fans could be seated due to the James L Knight Center only having about 4,000 seats.)
Axl, Jimmy, and Billy were confused on the sold out Split Cake Cream Show, but shrugged and went to the James L Knight Center for their split Cake Cream Show and were happy seeing 4,000 Cake Cream Fans.
Jimmy played Rhythm Guitar, Axl sang the songs, and Billy played the drums. They all sounded good. Cake Cream Fans cheered wildly.
The Cake Cream Fans thanked Axl, Jimmy, and Billy for the FREE split Cake Cream Show. Billy, Axl, and Jimmy were immediately all confused on why the Cake Cream Fans were claiming this was a FREE Split Cake Cream Show, but didn't mention this to the Cake Cream Fans. They just welcomed them.
Axl, Jimmy, and Billy remembered Mike's mysterious roughly $33,000 Zelle he sent to them each and it all clicked into place exactly what happened. They told the Cake Cream Fans they wanted a mini break and the Cake Cream Fans granted them the mini break. During the mini break they all confronted Mike over the phone about the FREE split Cake Cream Show and Mike acknowledged he did it.
Axl pointed out that only HE was supposed to authorize stuff like this since he was sole owner and sole Manager of the Cake Cream name, rights, royalties, copyright, and songs. Axl pointed out that MANY People in Axl's position would have SUED Mike over this. Billy and Jimmy pointed out that Axl was right.
Mike said,"Please don't sue me over this . I didn't mean any harm, I just wanted to make a fair compromise to the Cake Cream Fans who showed up to a split Cake Cream Show they weren't expecting."
Axl said," I'm not going to sue you over this. I get that you were just trying to look out for our Fans. We are working for the Fans after all. Just keep in mind that I am the only one authorized to do stuff like this."
Mike breathed a sigh of relief that Axl wasn't going to sue him over this. A Lawsuit from Axl would have been VERY awkward at the least. Mike thanked Axl for not suing him and Axl welcomed him. The mini break was soon over and Jimmy, Axl, and Billy continued the Show to more wild cheering and then the Final Sendoff happened to even more wild cheering and then the show was soon over.
After the second split Cake Cream Show, Axl, Billy, and Jimmy went to TGI Friday's and had sirloin steak, fries, fried calamari, and soda and water. They had the Oreo ice cream sandwich. They enjoyed their meal, amicably chatting about their split Cake Cream Show and what Mike had done. They paid and left. After their meal, they went back to their Luxurious Penthouse Suite and chilled and went to sleep.
Now that "the truth" is known about her, there is no longer the need to masquerade.
Her REAL name, the one given to her by her father Boris is NATASHA.
Born on a collective farm, raised by sadists and emotionally stunted, Natasha has served her country very well over the years, reporting back to her masters in detail as to the underbelly of the American Dream.
In code, of course, via her posts on gambling forums; they seem inane and trite but are actually chock full of purloined secrets, pithy observations and the reek of impacted bowels.
Who knew we had an odiferous Mata Hari among us?
Euginy got off the bus quickly and walked to the nearest KFC at a brisk pace. While walking he pondered comrade Natasha's predicament. What she needed was companionship, but with her flatulent personality it would be hard to find a good match for her. Suddenly Euginy stopped in his tracks, held captive by the vivid memory of comrade Kentryov, Poutine's personal fart scapegoat. For years Kentryov had stood by the dear leader during important meetings to be ready to take the blame for dear leader's farts. He had performed his duties flawlessly, until one day he got distracted while dear leader was letting loose copious amounts of barking wind. Without Kentryov there to take the blame for the emissions, dear leader's secret tooting problem came to light. Like Natasha, Kentryov was also banished to the west to gather intelligence.
Euginy got to the glass doors of KFC and made an about face, deciding instead to walk 17 blocks back to his apartment. Once ensconced in his shabby digs, he set to work composing a message written in code on a 1 inch square of paper. With a magnifying glass, one could see that it read:
475483 48585 1-50398 38671919 8-959439 09283940-08389819840 0 0 9234984 3 49762095868 33-01837472 22 4760 0938145 4385 4 4 4854789 7274 282 4901 00293 8934-576892 99 564 784 828392 174239043 82394-45 34324
Euginy smiled at his handiwork. He then carefully laminated it with a piece of clear packing tape, wrapped the laminated square in a piece of foil, then tucked that package in between the layers of a moldy peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The comrade who would find it would do so under the guise of being a metal detecting hobbyist, from there the message would be passed on through a few more covert channels, and hopefully within a few months it should land at the desk of whoever Kentryov's handler was.
Guys, I made a brand new Cake Cream Chapter! :D
Yes Natasha, we know...but I like the "updated" version better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
Heck, it's no contest: comparing eating French toast to ferreting out a deep Russian mole...but I understand you are simply a pawn of Evil Men.
I suggest you keep posting as usual but keep an eye out for the inevitable visit by a CIA black ops team.
Or maybe you've reached the Big Leagues and Robert will "pay you a visit" in his NSA-sourced Cadillac.
Do not fear death: it comes to us all, and you've had a surprisingly long and successful run.
Mr. V since you're a Retired Lawyer, could Axl sue Mike for doing the "Buy one get one free tickets," without telling Axl anything? Would Axl suing Mike be a conflict of interest since he is owner and manager of all things Cake Cream related? :confused:
Hey Tasha, who did you meet in real life from VCT or another gambling forum? How was your meeting?
I met WON from WOV in real life. It went well as WON found out I was in fact a Woman for real, not a guy pretending to be a Woman and we had a truce. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
Natasha, you aren't the only one confused by your narrative, and you wrote it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
To answer your question: it all depends on what was actually in the contract the lads signed when as you said they agreed to "do an equal Cake Cream split."
WTF does that mean?
Is it still one legal entity, or is each band separate?
If separate, do they still call each half "Cake Cream?"
Either way Axl would not have a conflict of interest as he owns the band; whether a suit would succeed depends upon the terms of the contract, which you have not provided.
Natasha, you aren't the only one confused by your narrative, and you wrote it!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
To answer your question: it all depends on what was actually in the contract the lads signed when as you said they agreed to "do an equal Cake Cream split."
WTF does that mean?
Is it still one legal entity, or is each band separate?
If separate, do they still call each half "Cake Cream?"
Do they play one after the other or separately?
So many questions...
Either way Axl would not have a conflict of interest as he owns the band; whether a suit would succeed depends upon the terms of the contract, which you have not provided.
But at the end of the day you have to ask yourself: What would Chone Wilson do?
Yep, they split Cake Cream, when Axl bought the Cake Cream name, rights, copyright, songs, and royalties, Cake Cream was a full six Member Band, not the Split Cake Cream. Them splitting Cake Cream in half could throw a monkey wrench into the original Contract that they all signed that said that Axl was sole owner and manager of all things Cake Cream. :confused:
I suggest you rename the spun-off trio "Fake Dream."
Unless the contract provides otherwise Axl still owns them, they're his slaves: when not singing at the James L. Knight Center Axl has them chopping cotton on his antebellum plantation.
"It's good to be the Massah" says Axl.
Ok, I found the old WOV post you made about meeting him. Pretty crazy. Probably best for you to not meet any more online personas in real life. Take care Karen.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaI met WON from WOV in real life. It went well as WON found out I was in fact a Woman for real, not a guy pretending to be a Woman and we had a truce. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
The first time WON saw me in real life he was looking right at me, but didn't know it was me because I was pretending to be a Man. I assumed that him seeing that I was a Woman would be a cute surprise.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballsOk, I found the old WOV post you made about meeting him. Pretty crazy. Probably best for you to not meet any more online personas in real life. Take care Karen.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaI met WON from WOV in real life. It went well as WON found out I was in fact a Woman for real, not a guy pretending to be a Woman and we had a truce. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
WON on WOV said something like,"Nathan said he was playing Wolf Run, but I only saw a WOMAN playing Wolf Run, so I thought I was being set up and I left the Casino." Now Nathan is claiming that SHE was the Woman playing Wolf Run and I'm confused as hell."
Me tying to do a "Cute surprise," backfired big time on me. Posters pointed out I could have sent WON a PM and admit to him in private that I am a woman posting as a man. I apologized for not coming clean as a Woman the same day. WON and I had a VERY bitter war between us for two years after that and it FINALLY ended when WON met me again two years later and saw that I am ACTUALLY a Woman and we made a truce.
Yeah, all this is adding up to a very concerning pattern of behavior on your part. Which I realize is like stating "water is wet" or "present-day Axl Rose looks like a fat lesbian woman" but still I think you need to hear it, even from some internet rando with a cartoon scorpion avatar.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaThe first time WON saw me in real life he was looking right at me, but didn't know it was me because I was pretending to be a Man. I assumed that him seeing that I was a Woman would be a cute surprise.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballsOk, I found the old WOV post you made about meeting him. Pretty crazy. Probably best for you to not meet any more online personas in real life. Take care Karen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasha
WON on WOV said something like,"Nathan said he was playing Wolf Run, but I only saw a WOMAN playing Wolf Run, so I thought I was being set up and I left the Casino." Now Nathan is claiming that SHE was the Woman playing Wolf Run and I'm confused as hell."
Me tying to do a "Cute surprise," backfired big time on me. Posters pointed out I could have sent WON a PM and admit to him in private that I am a woman posting as a man. I apologized for not coming clean as a Woman the same day. WON and I had a VERY bitter war between us for two years after that and it FINALLY ended when WON met me again two years later and saw that I am ACTUALLY a Woman and we made a truce.
I stopped posting as a man a long time ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballsYeah, all this is adding up to a very concerning pattern of behavior on your part. Which I realize is like stating "water is wet" or "present-day Axl Rose looks like a fat lesbian woman" but still I think you need to hear it, even from some internet rando with a cartoon scorpion avatar.Quote:
Originally Posted by TashaThe first time WON saw me in real life he was looking right at me, but didn't know it was me because I was pretending to be a Man. I assumed that him seeing that I was a Woman would be a cute surprise.Quote:
Originally Posted by pinchingyourballs
WON on WOV said something like,"Nathan said he was playing Wolf Run, but I only saw a WOMAN playing Wolf Run, so I thought I was being set up and I left the Casino." Now Nathan is claiming that SHE was the Woman playing Wolf Run and I'm confused as hell."
Me tying to do a "Cute surprise," backfired big time on me. Posters pointed out I could have sent WON a PM and admit to him in private that I am a woman posting as a man. I apologized for not coming clean as a Woman the same day. WON and I had a VERY bitter war between us for two years after that and it FINALLY ended when WON met me again two years later and saw that I am ACTUALLY a Woman and we made a truce.
You should have fucked WoN, Karen: that would have earned you cred with the group.
But you claim to be asexual, so maybe if you just blew him it would have helped grease the skids.
Wanna know how to keep a man?
Easy.
"Keep his balls empty and his belly full."
How true that is.
WON is MARRIED and I'm not interested in any sexual activity of any kind.Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterV
Might you be interested n sexual activity if it were a means to an end?
Heck, millions of women probably feel the way you do but the economic realities of trying to survive eventually break their resolve; the next thing you know they're married, getting hosed regularly, faking the big "O" for his sake and second guessing their decision.
Such is life.